01x03 - You are Ms. Yuki.

[bunniefuu]

[birds chirping]

[HITOYOSHI] Ms. Yuki!

[YUKI] How may I be of service?

Well, um, there's something

I was hoping

you could help me out with.

What might that be?

[HITOYOSHI] This.

So. I know

it's cliche to reinvent

yourself during summer vacay,

but I've been wanting

pierced ears

ever since my friend got 'em.

Thing is, I don't have the guts

to do the deed myself, y'know?

That's why I was hoping

you could do it for me.

- Pretty please?

- You want me to stab?

Just my ears

but that's the idea.

Yours are pierced,

so I figured

you may have experience

with this sort of thing.

I will not fail you.

Thanks, you rock!

Unleash your piercing fury!

[HITOYOSHI] One swift blow!

♪

Huh?

M-Ms. Yuki?

This must be some kind of

cruel hazing ritual, correct?

How have I earned

your displeasure, master?

What?

I beg your forgiveness,

but I cannot possibly

do something so horrendous.

Tearing a hole into your flesh.

The horror!

[HITOYOSHI] Uh, didn't you

used to put holes in people

for an actual living?

[chuckles]

I appreciate your concern.

- [doorbell rings]

- [HITOYOSHI] Huh?

[RIKO]

It's itty bitty puppy time!

What's the li'l cutie like?

Sassy, or maybe super shy?

Yay! Hi, big brother!

Show me your puppy right now!

Huh?

You're Master Hitoyoshi's

little sister?

[gasps]

♪

[RIKO] Whoa!

The house is so clean!

The puppy's so fluffy!

And to top it all off,

you've got a seriously

gorgeous maid

picking up the slack

around here, bro!

Why didn't you tell me

about her?

Don't choose violence!

We only text all the time.

How could you not mention

something so important!

I'm sorry.

I didn't want to risk mom

finding out about her

and going all mama nuclear

on me.

Not so worried about dad, huh?

I called and asked him

if I could hire a housekeeper.

Not sure if he heard me,

but he said yes.

[RIKO] Sometimes I wonder

if dad really trusts you

or if he's low-key

neglecting you.

Wait! He's not the one

on trial here!

How dare you keep your little

sister in the dark like this?

That's totes one of the seven

deadly sins, don't ya know!

May I ask?

Do the two of you reside

in separate houses?

Yes.

Oh? Are you?

She's too cute!

You're so beautiful.

It's like staring into the sun

or something!

Riko has a mild obsession

with pretty people.

That's a big part of why

I didn't want to tell her

about you.

I knew she'd be cringe about

Take your fingers outta

my mouth!

- [RIKO] You're such a jerkface!

- Let's calm down.

- Are you thirsty?

- [RIKO] How could you keep her

all to yourself?

♪

Oh! Almost forgot

to introduce myself.

My name's Riko!

Little sister of this here

garbage goblin.

Be my bestie!

Way to slip in a quick dunk

on your big bro.

Everyone says I'm super smart

and clever for my age.

Anyway, tell me

everything about you!

Let's see. Well, I

My name is Yuki, ma'am.

[RIKO] That's such

a beautiful name!

I agree!

[YUKI] Master Hitoyoshi

was kind enough

to bestow it upon me.

Wha?

And here I assumed big bro

had no naming game whatsoever!

Wait. Why would he name you?

Well, until recently,

I lived as an assassin.

[HITOYOSHI] Ms. Yuki, abort!

As I did not possess

a true name of my own.

I asked him

to come up with one.

Huh?

[HITOYOSHI] True story.

[gasps]

That is so

totally cool

and way fabulous!

[HITOYOSHI] Phew.

[RIKO] Perfect name for someone

who's pretty and tough!

Can I have your autograph?

Autograph?

[RIKO] All you gotta do

is write your name here.

Please help me out.

I need it bad!

If it will bring you pleasure,

I shall write down my name.

[awe]

[RIKO] It's like watching

a princess write.

How graceful!

She's giving upper-class lady

more than assassin,

if you ask me.

[YUKI] I have finished.

- Huh?

- Huh?

Thanks a bunch!

[YUKI] Will this

"autograph" suffice?

[RIKO] Yikes.

[RIKO, HITOYOSHI] That's not

what I was expecting.

[YUKI] Is it not

to your satisfaction?

Oh, no, we would

never think that.

We were just marveling

at your uh unique handwriting!

I prefer spoken communication.

I speak twelve languages.

[RIKO] Oh, wow!

[YUKI] I was sent across

the globe

in my previous line of work.

And she's well-traveled!

That said, I never had the

chance to learn calligraphy.

I apologize for vexing you

with my unsightly scribble.

No big! It's kinda cute.

In fact, it looks like

an idol's sloppy sig!

Very well.

I'm glad you like it.

Oh! I've got a great idea!

This can't be good.

So! For my summer vacation

diary project,

I'm gonna write about

our fair Ms. Yuki!

Oh, you decided just like that,

did you?

Can I? Please?

If that is truly

what you desire.

You're the only one I want!

[RIKO] Let us begin!

Show me summa the moves

you axed people with!

[gasps]

Riko, you better not write

anything weird about her!

[RIKO] Perish the thought!

I'm just gonna slay

this essay about

your drop-dead gorgeous

maid's k*ller skills!

Oh, yeah?

And that is exactly

what I was afraid of.

- Miss Riko.

- What's up?

I will show you my skills

in the backyard.

Big, fat A, here I come!

Oh, whoa.

♪

Stay still, and I shall begin.

[Riko gasps]

You're so cool!

Hey, Ms. Yuki!

Where were you hiding

that knife you threw?

My breast pocket.

[RIKO] Whoa! How many do you

have and where are they?

I used to carry sixteen blades.

That's a lotta blades!

However, that was in the past.

Master Hitoyoshi felt

it was too many.

[YUKI] Now I only carry five.

And where do you keep

the fatal five?

[YUKI] One is in

my breast pocket.

As for the rest,

I have two attached

to each leg via garters.

[HITOYOSHI] Red light!

Red light!

Stop! Stop!

[snoring]

[RIKO] Aw! That bell is adorbs!

Thank you for your kind praise.

[RIKO] Doesn't it interfere

with your work?

By the time my target

hears the bell,

it is already too late.

That was mega savage!

I wanna try saying it!

"By the time by target hears

the bell, it's already"

[stomach growls]

[laughs]

That was the loudest

stomach growl in human history!

You'll frighten the neighbors.

It's not like I can control it!

Be responsible and feed me!

[HITOYOSHI] All right,

all right.

I suppose it is just about

lunch time. Let's get cookin'.

Oh, I know!

What's your signature dish,

Ms. Yuki?

Huh?

I do not believe you could

call it a proper dish.

Sounds mysterious!

♪

[RIKO] Isn't this the part

where you go all slicey slicey?

Yes, but I realized it is most

efficient to chop some things

in a more mundane manner

like so.

[gasps]

It's perfect!

[RIKO] Noble effort,

but cabbage

isn't really a meal.

It was still helpful.

I'll just use it for dinner.

- [gasps]

- Oh.

Huh?

[RIKO] Hey, today's

the summer festival!

Let's go! I wanna go!

Totally. And they've got

something you'll love.

Really. They do?

Senbei crackers

with heaven sauce.

Precious sauce and crackers.

Uh, Master.

That sounds quite divine.

Mm-hmm.

[chuckles]

Well, it's settled.

We're going!

[RIKO] That's a promise!

We're comin' for ya,

summer festival!

[indistinct chatter]

Takoyaki - Yakisoba

- Shaved ice

This place looks super fun!

Hurry! Off we go!

This'll be epic!

♪

sh**ting gallery

♪

[laughs]

Oh.

[both gasp]

♪

[g*nsh*t]

Oops. I prefer knives.

sh**ting has never been

my forte.

♪

What the? How can?

Would ya please give me

some pointers, fish goddess!

It is fairly simple.

[YUKI] Just suppress any hint

of your presence

and strike swiftly from behind.

[RIKO] That makes sense!

[YUKI] Put more flex into it,

from your wrist

to your fingertips.

[RIKO] Got it!

You're truly a lucky girl.

Your big sister takes

great care of you!

I know. It's true! She's great.

♪

katsuda's sauce.

[Yuki whimpering]

It's Katsuda's sauce.

As promised!

You happy, Ms. Yuki?

[MALE VENDOR 3B]

Order up!

It's the sauce.

So yummy.

Never enough.

Need more heaven sauce

right away.

[munching]

[laughs]

She eats like a squirrel!

It's nice to be appreciated,

little lady! Makes me happy.

[laughs]

Here. On the house!

Wait here,

I'll get you something

to wash that down with, okay?

Riko!

Don't worry.

I'll be back in a jiffy!

Ugh. I guess

we had better stay put.

That'll help her find us

a bit faster.

Wouldn't want her to get lost.

- Oo! Gimme two.

- Sure thing.

[indistinct chatter]

I had no idea that festivals

could be like this.

No way. Was this

your very first festival?

[YUKI] Not quite.

For me, a festival day

had only one purpose.

♪

[burst]

[gasps]

[burst]

[crackling]

Oh, wow.

[burst]

[RIKO] Way too pretty!

[RIKO] For you, Ms. Yuki!

Ramune.

Aren't summer festivals

the absolute best?

[burst]

[chuckles]

They are.

Gah! Aw, man.

[laughter]

[RIKO] What are you doing?

[HITOYOSHI] You shook mine,

didn't you?

[Riko sighs]

[RIKO] That was peak

summer fun!

We even scored some

sauce-cr*cker souvenirs, right?

That's right.

Although, according to

my careful research notes,

you've already eaten

eight of them.

So, you'd better save the rest!

Yes, ma'am.

[HITOYOSHI] Which one's

the big sister again?

[MALE SNATCHER 3A]

Move it, you're in our way!

[WOMAN 3B] Someone, help!

Stop that man,

he stole my purse!

Riko! Ms. Yuki! Look out!

Huh?

[gasps]

[swoosh]

[indistinct chatter]

[HITOYOSHI]

Are you all right?

What's wrong?

Tell me where it hurts, okay?

Wow. This is the first time

anyone other than dad

has carried me like

a delicate princess!

I'm just glad

you weren't injured.

Oh, Ms. Yuki's sauce crackers

are ruined.

- Huh?

- [gasps]

[HITOYOSHI]

That monster.

Bad people like him should be

subject to divine punishment!

[YUKI]

Divine punishment.

As though stealing

weren't bad enough,

he almost got someone

k*lled today.

[HITOYOSHI] That's the least

he deserves.

- [YUKI] I understand.

- Huh?

[HITOYOSHI] M-Ms. Yuki?

I'm a fool and she's gone.

Big Bro!

We gotta go after her!

I'm worried, too.

We will find her.

My diary won't be complete

without an account of Ms. Yuki

shanking an evil-doer

right in the face!

Please don't say

bad things like that.

[MALE SNATCHER 3A]

Piece of cake.

[RIKO] There she is! Up there!

[panting]

She's fabulous!

Like a super pretty superhero!

This is so not the time.

Bro, if we take this shortcut,

maybe we can catch her!

Let's go!

This is bad.

What will happen

if she causes an incident out

in public like this?

[swoosh]

♪

[grunts]

[gasps]

Dammit!

♪

Ms. Yuki!

♪

Don't k*ll him!

Divine Punishment.

[whimpers]

Master Hitoyoshi,

being this normal really

makes a girl hungry.

[gasps]

Is that a fact?

Let's buy you

more sauce crackers.

[RIKO] Aw, yeah!

I'm gonna have some, too!

[HITOYOSHI] Thought you were

saving the rest?

- That doesn't apply to me, duh!

- [WOMAN 3B] That's him!

[WOMAN 3B] The purse thief!

[POLICEMAN 3A] Freeze, punk!

I'm taking you to the station!

[RIKO] Take it easy,

I'll be fine.

I can make it home

safely by myself.

Absolutely not.

It's getting late,

and way too many things

have happened today.

You've got it backwards,

it's late

because so many things

have happened today.

And speaking of,

I can't wait to tell everybody

I know about

every last minute of it!

Really?

This'll easily be the best

summer project ever!

Are "summer projects"

such as that one something

everyone undertakes?

Yep. You got it!

Haven't you ever been

to school before, Ms. Yuki?

[YUKI] What is school?

Well, it's where you go

to learn a bunch of stuff.

[RIKO] But mostly

it's where you chat

with your friends

and join fun clubs.

Sounds weird,

but it's actually a cool place!

Huh?

[RIKO] Score! Mom's beef stew!

Geez, now I'm suddenly

dying of hunger.

Let's put the pedal

to the metal!

I think not.

Hurry up, big bro! I mean it!

She's like a wind-up toy that

never really unwinds, ever.

That's true. But still,

you must admit that she's fun.

[HITOYOSHI] Eh. Guess

that makes up for it.

[YUKI] Is that what

a "normal" girl is like?

If that's the case, what I want

is to go to school as well.

[HITOYOSHI]

Come to think of it,

I never asked how old she is.

Sure thing. If you wanna

make some friends and all that

then going to school

is a great idea.

Couldn't hurt to try, right?

[HITOYOSHI] Before I knew it,

August had swept through

like a storm

and the new semester had begun.

So whaddya say?

Let's do whatever we can

to make this the best year

ever for us.

[HITOYOSHI] I hope Ms. Yuki

will be all right on her own.

- [TAIGA] Yo, Hitoyoshi!

- Huh?

Have ya heard about

the juicy rumor?

- What rumor?

- Get this!

People have spotted

a crazy gorgeous maid

showing up here and there

all-around town!

[spits]

[TAIGA] Dude, that's gross!

[HITOYOSHI] My bad.

Well, she does stand out.

And ever since the festival,

she often goes for walks

with Riko.

I have certainly not heard

of such a silly rumor as that!

[laughs]

That means I win!

Even though I've never even

seen her with my own eyes.

[KOBACHI] I saw her once

at the library.

She was cute

and she really went all in

on her maid cosplay.

At the library?

[MALE HOMEROOM TEACHER 3A]

All right!

Everyone, take your seats!

[HITOYOSHI] Why was she

at the library?

Still, at least no one's

found out

about her living

at my place yet.

I don't wanna kick off

the new semester

with that kind of attention.

I'll just keep it on

the down low.

[MALE HOMEROOM TEACHER 3A]

Before we begin,

I have a new transfer

student to introduce.

Huh?

[YUKI] My name is Yuki Yokoya.

Please feel free

to call me Yuki.

[gasps]

[indistinct chatter]

♪