01x01 - Egregious

[bunniefuu]

[light music playing]

[narrator] Dear viewers.

I was told you had to go

to the District Court in Patparganj.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

But then you can't stop the inevitable,

can you?

May God give you strength

during this difficult time.

Relax. Don't be discouraged by my words.

Because you'll find

the most resourceful wheeler-dealers

at Patparganj court,

who will find ingenious ways

to solve your problems.

These people are so gung-h*

about what they do

that they wheel and deal their way

through every situation in life.

These creatures may seem

a little strange to you.

-[snores]

-And they are.

But always remember,

their coats may be black,

but not their hearts. Hmm.

Another thing to remember

is once you're here,

there's no getting out.

They'll give you a date

and then they'll give you another date.

Because it's a legal matter.

"Maamla Legal Hai."

It's based on true stories.

Real-life adventures.

BASED ON SOME REAL INCIDENTS

Oh, it's misadventures.

BASED ON SOME REAL STRANGE INCIDENTS

Okay.

[Peon] What is this, sir?

We keep moving this witness box

from here to there every day.

[Shambhu] Arre, but what can I do?

There are not enough witness stands

in the court.

And then no one wants to speak

unless they're standing inside one.

There's a hearing in number 30.

The judge wants it. Hurry up.

Eh. Move.

-[man grunts]

-Careful.

Come on. Hurry up.

-Come here.

-Coming. Coming, sir.

What are you people doing?

-Were you building the witness stand?

-No, sir. No, sir.

Very good!

Very good, beta.

Okay now, move. You get inside.

Let's go. [clears throat]

PP saab, uh, you may proceed.

Yes, Your Honor.

So then

do you recognize them?

Yes, sir. They were the ones.

[PP] Your Honor,

the victim has identified all the accused.

[crowd murmurs]

[Cheema] You lost the bet.

Not yet.

Tyagiji will get them out on bail.

-[Cheema] Bail my foot.

-Mm.

The accused were arrested,

the items were recovered,

and they just got identified.

-You can't escape the long arm of the law.

-Long arm of the law.

Sir, my apologies. I got caught up

at a hearing in Jhilmil Court,

so I'm a little late. I'm so sorry.

No problem, Tyagiji.

Cross-examine him.

Your Honor.

[playful music playing]

Are you sure it was these five men

who robbed you?

Yes, sir. It was them.

Um, you are exaggerating a bit.

It was two of them.

No, sir. Five.

Look. [VD Tyagi chuckles]

Going by your delicate physique,

I don't think it would take

five tough guys to rob you.

Shall we make it three?

No, sir. It was five of them.

Those two guys held my arms down.

That one took my wallet

and he took my watch and belt.

That makes four. The fifth one?

He was peeing on the side, sir.

Then he came and slapped my face.

Without washing his hands.

[playful music playing]

[man clicking tongue]

[witness inhales]

You mean these five men robbed you?

Hmm?

[inhales]

[sighs]

Your Honor.

I really have nothing else left to say.

[scoffs]

I think it's quite clear now

that the police

deliberately brought charges

under the wrong statute against my client.

[crowd] Huh? What?

[VD Tyagi] Yes, Your Honor.

Your Honor,

IPC Section 390 very clearly states

that five men together cannot rob someone.

This is a case of dacoity, Your Honor.

[playful music playing]

Isn't dacoity the same as robbery?

Your Honor, the police are deliberately

trying to frame my dacoit clients

as common thieves.

Therefore, I'd like to request you

to please grant them bail.

Anything?

So Sorry, sir.

The charges are under the wrong statute.

Remand application is defective.

Bail granted.

-But, Your Honor

-[court announcer] Next, case number 27,

-Ganga Prasad

-PP saab, it's not a Section 390 case.

[Judge Sunil] 391, apply here.

Tyagi uses the long arm of the law

when his back needs a really good scratch.

[upbeat music playing]

He was a man of his word

He never needed a case ♪

With his money and status

He controlled everything ♪

He wasn't nervous for no reason ♪

He is young and wants to dance ♪

DISTRICT COURT, PATPARGANJ

Hey, Chakki! ♪

[horn honking]

A client in a Mercedes!

[car horn honks]

[lawyer 1] Madam! Madam!

I can get anything done for 200 rupees.

Notary. Affidavit. 200 rupees.

Anything at all. Yeah, just 200 rupees.

[Cheema] Hoy! Move aside, you losers!

She has a sticker.

She's a lawyer, okay? Move! Move aside!

-[Ani] Excuse me.

-Yeah?

[Ani] Can I get to the admin office

through this gate?

Take a left from here.

-It's in F-block. Mm.

-[Ani] Thanks.

Bhai, I think she's, uh,

put a spell on me.

[upbeat music playing]

Excuse me.

Is the admin department in this block?

-Yes. On the third floor.

-Thank you.

Once second,

how how can you sit over here?

Don't you see the sign behind you?

Yes, I see it.

It actually looks like "CF" or something.

Some say it's "Court Filing,"

some say it means "Carbon Footprint."

But we don't think so.

-This is "Client First."

-Shut up, f*ck!

But that's "SF," right?

"Differently abled."

This ramp is for differently abled people.

And you've put a desk in the middle of it?

Please, get it out of here.

So that's why the cr*pple

would always stop and spit at us.

[Ani] "Differently abled."

Arre, but [sighs]

[man] Yeah, Mommy.

It takes at least 15 minutes

to make a home delivery.

It's not like he's standing

outside your house.

I couldn't get okra,

I sent French beans instead.

Hmm?

And, yeah, please cook the caramel

a little more when you make these sweets.

It's stuck in my teeth.

I've had four cups of tea already.

Uh, Mommy, I'll call you later.

I have some work.

-Hi! I'm

-Ananya Shroff.

-How do you

-I'm the one who made your court ID.

I remember your face.

-Here.

-Thanks.

My name is Vishwas Pandey.

I'm the court manager here.

If you have any complaints

regarding the lawyers' block

or the judges' block, please come to me.

[Ani] Okay.

I'm the Donna of this court.

Donna?

Donna.

You've never watched Suits?

Harvey Specter? Mike Ross?

Meghan Markle,

the Queen's daughter-in-law?

Do you know she broke up the royal family?

You know, they're all from Harvard,

just like you.

-Yes. Yeah.

-You must watch it.

-It's streaming on Netflix.

-I'll I'll watch it.

[both chuckle softly]

But in the meantime,

if you could refer some cases to me,

-I think that would be more helpful.

-Of course, of course.

It's my job after all.

So who are you working with?

Tyagiji? Or Bagai saab?

Or then, Singh saab?

Who did Ambedkar join up with?

[playful music playing]

Rupal, could you check and see

-who Ambedkar was working with?

-No one.

Huh?

Ambedkarji didn't join up with anyone.

[laughs]

Rupal, let it be. Another trick question.

I just meant that

I'm not gonna join anyone.

So you're gonna have your own chamber?

[inhales]

That's great.

Okay, this is the form. Fill it out.

Uh, the waiting list is a little long.

But then, our Tyagiji

Tyagiji.

He's the president of our association.

And if he wins this election,

then the president of Delhi too.

I'm sure he'll give you

special preference.

You're from Harvard after all.

Uh, okay.

Um, by the way, how much does this cost?

Not much, around 40 to 50 lakhs.

What?

But I don't have that kind of money.

But why should you pay?

Your father will pay for it.

After all, he must have paid for Harvard,

right?

Excuse me.

Listen, I went to Harvard

on a scholarship of 50 lakhs.

Wow.

My father just paid

the remaining 75 lakhs.

Mm.

By the way,

where do the lawyers without chambers sit?

[criminal 1 sighs]

-Hey, one chai.

-Get lost.

-[criminal 2] I didn't do anything.

-[police 1] Shut up and keep walking.

-[Shambhu] What happened, Shuklaji?

-Arre, wait a minute.

Was her dowry not enough?

She talks back at her mother-in-law?

No.

Is she over-educated?

No.

-Then why the hell do you want a divorce?

-She's like your sister, tell her.

-Mm.

-She'll get it done.

Never hide anything

from your CA or your lawyer.

[Shukla] And from

your venereal disease specialist.

-[Daleel] Right!

-[Shambhu] Exactly.

Tell her.

Huh.

[shaky breathing]

On On our wedding night,

she wasn't shy at all.

[Navin sniffles, whimpers]

[Navin crying]

[Cheema] Imagine.

She wasn't shy at all

On her wedding night!

Oh, h* h* h* h* h*.

-Not even a little bit?

-No.

[Sujata] Arre, arre, arre, arre!

You only get to have one wedding night

in your life.

Hmm.

And imagine his new bride

wasn't shy at all.

A man spends his whole life

waiting for this night.

-[Shukla] Mm-hm.

-[Cheema] When his bride will blush shyly

as he gets frisky with her.

But he didn't even get a chance.

Arre, sir, this must have ruined

the whole moment.

-Mm.

-[clicking tongue]

Listen.

If it was someone else,

I would have handled the case myself.

[Daleel] But you are family to me.

So I'm putting it in her capable hands.

[Shambhu] Yeah.

As soon as judge saab sees

that didi is representing your case,

he'll realize that

you are the one in the right.

-[Mathur] Hmm.

-[Shambhu] Yeah.

[Daleel] Because didi doesn't argue.

Didi is the argument.

-[Mathur] Hmm.

-[Shambhu] Yeah.

Listen, bhai, the thing is

I don't usually take up divorce cases.

It's a lot of hard work.

And our court almost always

take the woman's side.

-[men] Mm-hm.

-Arre.

-Uh, arre.

-[Cheema] Hey, wait.

-Hey.

-Sit, sit, sit. Sit down. Don't worry.

-Let's hear what she has to say.

-Sit, sit.

-But you are just like family, right?

-[Shambhu giggles]

-So I have to take up your case.

-[Shambhu chuckles]

Didi is absolutely right.

It will be done. [smacks lips]

Don't worry about it.

Okay, come on now. Stop crying, huh?

Look at me. Give me a smile.

Now you're divorced.

[air conditioner whirring]

Bagaiji.

You know my assistant, Daleel?

He's related to him.

[exhales]

He wants a divorce.

If it was someone else,

I would have fought the case myself.

But you're family,

that's why I'm handing it over to him.

But you were supposed to fight my case.

Arre, Bagaiji is a very capable lawyer.

One of our judges Ghosh saab

got Bagaiji to handle his divorce.

Mrs. Ghosh didn't get one rupee

as alimony.

The poor woman kept begging him,

-but he didn't

-Mm-mm.

Yeah, so tell me.

[door closes]

Sir, are you going to fight my case

or hand it over to someone more capable?

[playful music playing]

[Mintu] Oh, yaar, you just won

the Patparganj Bar Association election

last year?

Now you want to win the election

for the whole Delhi bar?

Oh, veere, why do you want to win

all these elections?

To get more clients

or to hike your fees, huh?

I'm not fighting for any of these.

So then?

[playful music playing]

[VD Tyagi] Advocate General,

Additional Solicitor General,

Solicitor General.

And after that, Attorney General, Mintu.

[Mintu] Attorney General?

Then I'll be promoted too.

And Lakhmir Balli Mintu,

Advisor to the Attorney General of India,

Your Honor VD Tyagi!

[clicks tongue] Nah.

First, I'll become

the Delhi Bar Association President,

everything after that.

Okay, then fine. Fill out the form.

What the hell are you waiting for?

By now, even Mahinder Phorey

has withdrawn his candidate from the race!

So now all the votes

from Jhilmil Court are yours.

[laughs] Right, Munshiji?

[Mintu] Okay, Munshiji, tell me something.

Doctors worship Lord Dhanvantari.

Businessmen worship Lakshmi.

Nerds worship Saraswati.

Craftsmen worship Vishwakarma.

Who do we lawyers worship?

The god of intellect?

[both laughing]

[laughing continues]

-We, lawyers, do not need god, Mintu.

-[Mintu] Ah.

But, yeah, nowadays, it's God

who needs a lawyer's help sometimes.

[both laughing]

So that's it, why should those

who don't have any gods

wait for some auspicious moment

to arrive, huh?

I'm not waiting for an auspicious moment.

I'm waiting for our recommendation.

Whose recommendation?

[Mintu] Bagai? Singh? Mandolia?

Not from anyone in Patparganj.

[Mintu] Then from where? Saket?

Rohini? Karkardooma?

The Supreme Court.

The Supreme Court?

Who?

[playful music playing]

Wadia.

JB Wadia.

Tyagi sir?

In the chamber?

Yeah, I'm coming.

I'm going to pay today.

Munshiji!

I just gave Bagaiji a case

that will get him at least two lakhs.

That means 20,000 for yours truly.

I'm sorted for this month.

When will you learn

to fight your own cases?

Why should I learn?

Lawyers like me who sit on the benches

in the foyer all day

can't get a client

to shell out 2,000 rupees.

And the same client

meets with the lawyer in an AC chamber

and pays out lakhs of rupees.

Why don't you tell Tyagiji

to take the 20,000 and give me a chamber?

And I'll start fighting all my cases.

You think he'll agree?

You're always anchoring off

to the chamber.

You need a partner, not a chamber.

In your personal

and professional life, both.

Then Munshiji,

why don't you and I form a partnership?

Sujata and Munshi. Oy!

"Sushi."

[Bagai] Sujata.

Did you negotiate the rates with Navin?

No, not at all!

I didn't discuss anything with him.

He paid me only 20,000.

Here's your 2,000 rupees.

That's all?

Why didn't you turn him down?

Arre, you told me he was related

to your assistant Daleel

that's why I said yes.

I'll turn him down

after the interim order.

[melancholy music playing]

[VD Tyagi] Arre, Wadia saab.

VD Tyagi.

Patparganj Bar Association President.

[mutters]

Wadia's coming here?

He has a permanently booked suite here.

Uh, but the tea's not sweet at all.

It's totally tasteless.

[VD Tyagi] A big room is called a suite.

You are unfit to be taken anywhere.

Bloody dumbass!

[sighs]

He's here.

[playful music playing]

[journalists chatter]

[camera shutters clicking]

Allegations against

[camera shutters clicking]

You cannot let this judicial activism

go unchecked.

It's outrageous.

Preposterous. Egregious.

"Egregious."

[VD Tyagi] "Outrageous,

preposterous, egregious."

I think he has lost a big case.

It's not the time we talk to him.

Oh, talk to me instead, he doesn't talk.

Seven and a half lakhs!

That's how much he spends at this hotel.

We can buy two auto cars in that amount.

And even own a showroom in one year.

He's a big-time lawyer, yaar.

Then I need to do something big time.

Hello? Law and Order?

Why are you moving things

over and over again?

-What is it that you are trying to do?

-Hey, bring the table here, man.

Bring it, bring it. Put it in there.

Hey, didi! Yeah. Keep it there.

[Vishwas] What's wrong?

You look extremely tired.

Uh, oh, uh Ani, Sujata didi.

Sujata didi, Ananya Shroff.

-She's done her LLM from Harvard.

-Really?

-Hi, I'm

-Sujata Negi.

BA LLB.

-I'm putting her desk right next to yours.

-[Sujata] Okay.

With an LLM from Harvard,

what are you doing here?

-Why didn't you join a law firm?

-[Ani] Um, no.

Because I take after my dadu, not my dad.

Dad started out in Dadu's firm.

But Dadu started his practice

entirely on his own, right?

That's why I want to establish

my own practice someday.

Oh, I see! Third-generation lawyer, huh?

-[Vishwas] Can someone come and help me?

-That's one for the first time.

[laughs]

So, civil or criminal?

I want to work as a legal aid.

Legal aid?

No, no. That's a dirty world.

It's actually a sin.

In legal aid, you get cases

from poor people,

you don't make any money.

Uh, but I haven't come here to make money.

[Vishwas] Don't just stand there, help me.

See, the experience one needs

prior to becoming a lawyer

is what I'm hoping to gain.

So that I can help people.

[sarcastic chuckle]

Stop smoking weed and start drinking tea.

[Sujata] Shambhu, one full milk special!

Our Shuklaji here

he used to take

a lot of bullshit like this.

But then I trained him.

Now he makes 200 rupees a day

just by notarizing documents.

Not 15, not 100 but a full

-Two hundred?

-[Sujata] Two hundred.

Now that you've joined us,

I'll help you set up

your practice as well.

And you have a LLM from Harvard

so you'll make at least 1,200 a day.

I'll refer cases to you as well,

but I'll take 1,000 per case.

That's completely ill*gal!

[Vishwas] You please come here.

[both laugh]

Oh, she has a really good sense of humor.

[laughs]

She might just become a senior counselor.

-One thousand.

-[Ani] Sorry.

But I'm not gonna do this.

Vishwas.

Yeah, didi?

-We can't have this bench here.

-It's already set up. Look.

Then move it away.

[Sujata] Arre, there isn't enough

space for seniors here.

Poor Bhosale has been handling his cases

in the library for three years.

And Shuklaji's baldhead

is baking in the sun here.

And a Harvard-return madam here

immediately, right away,

wants a bench, huh? Take it away.

Uh, didi, if not here, then where?

[playful music playing]

[monkeys screeching]

[crows cawing]

[poop sloshes]

[Shambhu] "JB Wadia correctly pointed out

that the claimant was rightfully

-standing"

-[VD Tyagi] Shambhu.

Law and Order.

How long has it been

since you've joined this office?

They've been here for seven months

doing nothing, sir.

Sir

seven and a half months, sir.

And how much do you get per month?

Six thousand rupees, sir.

With additional money for petrol.

Yes.

For this kind of English?

I told you I wanted it perfect.

And you both shat all over it!

That kindergarten-dropout

turned up his voice,

read your English

like it was a nursery rhyme.

And you want me to send this article

to the English newspapers

with my name on it?

You think this is going to impress Wadia?

Arre!

He uses big words like "Egregious!"

That too while he's walking!

And you wrote this crap

while sitting down!

Go to your desks and turn into fishes.

Go on!

Munshiji, the world is right, you know.

Our juniors only deserve

to be paid in samosas.

[Munshi] Calm down, Visheshwar. Calm down.

It's only a column, right?

Someone else can write it.

Where am I going to find someone

in Patparganj?

[sighs]

Who can write like Chetan Bhagat?

[breathes deeply]

Munshiji, tell me something.

Wadia is a lawyer by profession,

and so are we, right?

So why does Wadia get paid so much money?

Because he's a Parsi, huh?

[chuckles]

We are not lawyers,

we are students, Mintu.

We may have become advocates,

but not lawyers.

It takes a lifetime to become a lawyer.

I didn't get it, but it's pretty heavy.

I never said it,

but Wadia saab used to say it.

JB Wadia's father said it.

[Munshi] He was a very big judge.

[upbeat music playing]

"To become a lawyer

takes a lifetime"?

Excuse me, sir!

If you need any kind of services,

then I can help.

[Ani] Notary, affidavit Anything.

I need to make

my wife's death certificate, madam.

-Sure. I can do that.

-[passerby 1] How much will it cost?

A thousand

-A thousand rupees.

-A thousand?

I'll get a new wife in 1,000 rupees.

[playful music playing]

Sir, I'll do it for free.

[Ani] Sir, hello!

Sir!

[passerby 2] Then please do it.

If only all the other lawyers

were as helpful as you are,

this country would see real progress.

[passerby 2]

But please be careful, madamji.

Your work should not be shoddy

just because it's free.

Absolutely not, sir.

-You're the first client of my career.

-[passerby 2] Huh?

You couldn't find anyone else

to practice on?

Sir

Don't stress, okay? It's your first day.

Have some tea.

I'm sure you'll get a client soon.

[passerby 3] Excuse me!

-Could you help me with something?

-There you go.

Yeah, sure, tell me.

Can you please help me push my car?

[playful music playing]

[VD Tyagi] I've tried out

ten people already.

Not one of them

could write a decent article.

I'm such a moron.

Now who do I go to?

I'm a first-generation lawyer.

Trying to be the attorney general.

Oh, veere, why can't you be one, yaar?

You may not be the son of a lawyer,

but you are a son of a judge.

The Honorable Retired Justice SD Tyagi.

[pensive music playing]

It is what it is, yaar.

Oh, just forget about Wadia.

Here. Give it to me, I'll sign it.

Where do you want me to sign?

Oh veere, when I go to Karnal

for one of my cases,

the people there put me up

in a special outhouse in the garden.

Those are servants' quarters, you idiot.

-[knocks on door]

-[Ani] Mr. Tyagi!

-[Vishwas] Look, you can't just walk in

-Yes?

So you're the president

of the bar association of this court?

-Uh, please come back a little later.

-[Vishwas] Heard that? Let's go. Come on.

No, no, no. Sir.

The matter I raise here today

is of pivotal importance.

Sir, I'm an esteemed member of this bar.

Yet what I face

is egregious discrimination of all sorts.

[playful music playing]

"Egregious?"

Yes, egregious.

-Let's go, please.

-Please sit down.

Thank you, sir.

Sir, I've done my MPhil

in Human Rights, okay?

And here my rights have been curtailed.

Sir, they've stuck me in the parking lot.

This is a clear violation of the rules.

Who put you over there?

[Ani] Sir

Sir, you know the situation here, so

How dare you?

This is, you know? This is

outrageous, preposterous, egregious!

Right.

I'm sorry, ma'am,

that you had to sit in the parking lot.

Sir, why are you saying sorry?

You shouldn't even have got a place

in the parking area.

[chuckles]

-What?

-I suggest,

uh, you get an office

outside the court campus.

But, sir, where is a beginner lawyer

like me going to sit?

And if I'm not inside

the court premises then,

how do you expect me to get any clients?

I can't solicit my work, I can't put ads.

I'm not allowed to market myself.

Where will I go?

As per Clause 12.3,

the only way to get a place

on the court premises is,

if you have seniority

or if you have done something of merit.

Sir, how do you know I'm not meritorious?

I'm very meritorious!

Then prove it.

[gasps]

Here's a suggestion.

-Write a 400-word article.

-[Ani] Okay.

Hmm. Justifying JB Wadia's

uh, stance on

-Procto Pharma.

-Procto Pharma

Versus State of Delhi. Write an article.

That's a very specific assignment.

But I'll do it, sir.

Adjourned.

[Ani] Huh?

Adjourned.

[soft upbeat music playing]

[Shambhu] "Ju Judical

Acti

Activism

Rom Rom

Roman

-[both slurp]

-Romaniti"

I can't do it, sir.

[laughter]

Harvard is Harvard, guys.

[Mintu chuckles]

Imagine when Wadia reads this article.

His mind will be blown.

He'll wonder who's this Tyagi.

And he won't just recommend my name,

Mintu.

He'll sit down with me

and we'll have a peg.

-That's wonderful.

-[Sujata] Tyagiji.

We've been sitting out here for years.

And you gave that newcomer girl

a bench in the foyer?

Calm down, Sujata. Come and sit down.

I gave her a bench

so that you can get a chamber.

Chamber?

-For me?

-Think about it.

If I become

the Delhi Bar Association President,

my star campaigner

will definitely get a chamber.

Of course, you will win.

Why just Patparganj?

I tell everyone in Jhilmil Court too

that whoever Mahinder Phorey's

candidate might be,

the winner will be our Tyagiji.

-[Mintu] Sujataji

-Tell me.

What have you been smoking up recently?

Don't you know that Mahinder Phorey

has pulled his candidate out of the race?

-What really?

-Absolutely!

This is like India Versus Afghanistan

in the World Cup final.

Congrats, Tyagiji, you've already won

the match before the toss.

[Sujata laughs]

One second.

But, sir, what exactly does this new girl

have to do with the election?

Sujata, you should read the newspapers.

I didn't give that bench to her

just for nothing.

[VD Tyagi] Are you coming?

[light upbeat music playing]

Hi, I'm Ananya Shroff. And you?

Hi.

[bicycle bell dings]

Uh, Mr. Shukla?

-[Ani] Hi!

-[Shukla chanting]

[Ani] Hello.

[Sujata] Arre, Daleel! Bhai, Shuklaji!

Tyagiji's article is in the newspaper.

[Shukla chuckles]

"Judicial Activism."

"Romanticism or Anarchy?"

"Yesterday, in a landmark case of

Procto Pharma Versus State of De"

[emotional music playing]

[scoffs]

Our Tyagiji is a deep thinker.

[Shukla] That is correct!

Good lawyers read newspapers

and great lawyers write in them.

[Shukla chuckles]

Completely unfair.

For this?

AFFIDAVIT, AGREEMENT,

POWER OF ATTORNEY

Well, madam got

a warm welcome at the foyer.

[laughter]

[auto driver 1]

Lal Qila, Lal Qila, Lal Qila!

Only 50 rupees! Lal Qila, Lal Qila!

Only 50 rupees!

Lal Qila, Lal Qila, Lal Qila, Lal Qila!

Only 50 rupees!

-[lawyer 2] Notary? Affidavit?

-[Ani] Notary? Affidavit?

-Sir! Notary

-[lawyer 2] Notary? Affidavit?

-Notary? Notary? Affidavit?

-Notary? Affidavit? Notary?

-Notary? Affidavit?

-[lawyer 3] Notary? Affidavit?

-No Notary? Affi

-[lawyer 3] Notary? Affidavit?

-Affidavit?

-Notary? Affidavit?

[indistinct screaming]

-Notary? Affidavit?

-Notary? Affida

From Mercedes to the pavement?

-Bhai, I think her spell has backfired.

-[Navin] Didi!

Didi!

What happened, bhai?

If I change my lawyer

after the interim order,

it won't affect my case, right?

You can change your lawyer. But why?

Didi, Bagaiji is very expensive.

If I'd paid my wife three lakhs instead,

she would have left me a long time ago.

-Three lakhs?

-Yes, didi.

I can change my lawyer, right?

[Navin] Can I do it or not?

Yeah.

We'll have to make a change.

[sighs]

[Navin mumbling]

-[vehicle engine rumbling]

-[horn honks]

[object rattles]

[toilet flushes]

[door opens]

Mr. Wadia.

What an honor!

Have we met before?

VD Tyagi. Student of the law, sir.

Uh, you wrote the article

in the Daily Express.

I had to write it, sir.

You can't let judicial activism

go unchecked.

Exactly! Exactly!

But student?

I thought you were a lawyer.

Advocate, sir. Advocate.

Becoming a lawyer can take a lifetime.

[cheeky music playing]

You think like a great man, Mr. Tyagi.

[JB Wadia] Care to join me for a drink?

Sure, sir.

[upbeat music playing]

[inaudible dialogue]

She is charging 200 to have this attested.

So why were you asking for 400 rupees?

My friend, listen to me.

It only costs 200 to attest this copy

if you have the original.

But without the original,

it takes 400 rupees to attest this.

She doesn't know anything.

She's just ruining my business.

Sir, please calm down.

I'm not doing it, okay?

What do you mean?

You can't raise my hopes

and ditch me like this.

So then I'll do it for you, sir.

What the hell do you mean you'll do it?

Let's see how you do it!

[Sujata] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What are you gonna see? Huh?

When you were renting this coat

for 20 rupees,

didn't you see

it was two sizes small for you?

Acting smart.

She's with me.

She will take on any client she wants to.

And if she doesn't want to,

she'll refuse. Got it?

-[man 1] Here, you do it.

-[lawyer 2] Mm. Mm-hmm.

You are aware, right?

That soliciting is ill*gal.

Yes.

Come on. Let's go inside.

This is not what a qualified lawyer

should be doing.

Come on.

[soft music playing]

Can I get some tea,

didi?

Shambhu, two full milk specials.

WE TAKE UP ALL KINDS OF CASES HERE

[elevator bell dings]

[VD Tyagi] Hoy, Mintu!

Good morning!

[muttering in Dogri]

Wadia agreed! Oy, hoy! ♪

Wadia agreed! Our times will change! ♪

Wadia agreed! Oy, hoy! ♪

Wadia agreed! ♪

Wadia agreed! Our times will change! ♪

-[phone chimes]

-Wadia agreed! ♪

Oh, what the f*ck!

What happened?

The World Cup match

is no longer India versus Afghanistan.

It's India versus Australia.

What do you mean?

I mean, Phorey pulled his candidate

out of the race

so he could run in the election himself.

The smart ones can sense it

in the air already.

It's the brainless idiots

who need it hammered into them.

So this message is for those morons

who are thinking of running

in the election this time.

Huh?

[laughs]

Pull back your horses

and get out of the way.

[Phorey]

Entering the race now is Mahinder Phorey.

[upbeat music playing]

BRIDE WAS SHAMELESS

ON THE WEDDING NIGHT,

GROOM GOT EMBARRASSED

BRIDE WAS BOLD,

THE WEDDING NIGHT FUN WAS RUINED

WIFE DIDN'T ACT SHY ON WEDDING NIGHT,

HUSBAND DEMANDS A DIVORCE

[closing theme music playing]