01x06 - The Golf Tourney

[bunniefuu]

Wait, we need to establish

how much on the shot.

You want some action, Dewey?

I want some action.

Oh, I'll take your action.

- Okay.

- See you soon.

Oh yes. That's confidence.

Okay.

Welcome to my hole, Dewey,

With the verbiage. Okay.

Dewey:

Okay. I didn't expect that.

What?

Past the sticky traps.

And that's not

This can't be happening!

Yes!

Damnit. Why me every time?

No, man. No. Just

have some sympathy.

Irent money, Taser.

I feel bad for ya.

Double or nothin'

I'll go again. Yeah.

You know, Leonard,

if I was smart

I'd take this home

and pretend I drafted

it at my kitchen table.

I could sell it to

every oil and gas company

in the world.

But you did this

on company time.

Eh.

I could make millions!

At a company desk

on company paper.

Todd:

Alright, shut it down nerds.

Ah.

It's time to golf.

I want you playing in

my group with corporate.

And you can look

fantastic doing it.

f*ck golf.

I wanna show you something.

Relax big boy, golf is fun,

and I have something

I need to tell you.

Earmuffs, Leonard.

Yeah, just

Charles is trying to

close this plant down.

On paper, we're the least

profitable, company-wide.

Hey, lay off the drugs, bro.

It's what I've been told.

You've been told wrong.

This plant is profitable.

I should know,

I practically built it.

Well, Bennett f*cked us.

So we need to un-f*ck us.

Jamar's flying in and

playing golf with us today,

I need you to answer

any technical questions

as they come up.

You know what, Todd Stool,

you're not the

boss of me, okay?

I don't take orders

from circus clowns.

If it wasn't for me, you'd

be cutting grass, bro. Okay?

When smart people talk,

you should listen, right?

Yeah.

This is a re-think of

our flare tip technology.

We go to a 16-gauge pipe

with some realignment

and it'll reduce

our footprint by

Twenty-five percent.

This is revolutionary.

Hey, we can slow

down if you're lost.

Sounds expensive

and we don't have time to tack

this onto our existing projects

or test it.

Conch Industries will claim

ownership of the invention.

They'll make millions.

There's not gonna be

a refinery to re-pipe

if we don't find

a corporate ally.

We tee off in 90 minutes.

Come on, Medhi, I need you.

We'll see you there.

What are ya doing?

Ah, you know, I'm thirsty.

Well, the man was right.

You know, we don't

have the time.

We don't have the money.

Come on,

let's go look at girls.

You Jamar?

Ah, yeah.

Great, let's go.

We got work.

What?

Excellent!

Chew?

Ah, no.

Suit yourself.

Woooo!

Hole six is the

perfect spot.

There's a bridge there,

you can't miss it.

Another sunset?

Todd:

By then Jamar's

already had a few,

hopefully we're not

playing like sh*t.

And bam, we hit him

with Bennett's laptop.

Okay, we've got the last three

years of top sheets loaded up

and ready to go.

Should take about

ten minutes.

Bev:

Ten? Really?

It'll be faster than that.

Okay. Yeah, we're that good.

Five minutes.

It's actually a good plan.

It'll be the middle

of the woods,

he'll have nowhere to go.

Medhi, Chelsea and

I will warm him up.

You girls hit him

with the facts.

Our plant is profitable.

Another seltzer?

Audrey:

Yes!

Steph:

Alright. Todd's Sister

you're with me today.

You're up next.

I got it now.

Well, you-

f*ck!

You-you two combine your

scores against mine,

best tally wins 50 bucks.

Okay, I got that.

Alright, 50 bucks.

Now get the f*ck away.

What the f*ck is that?

Steroids?

What are you? Junkie?

Ah, it's my nephew's Adderall.

It's for focus.

It's legal.

Fifty bucks,

I'll take that action.

How 'bout a hundred?

Okay, yeah. I'm Dewey.

You're the, yeah.

You got any beers, man?

I'm the chairman of the board.

You're gonna have to

ask somebody else.

Hey!

Welcome to Imperial Valley.

Oh, welcome to you too!

Oh, ah

I've been here six times.

Oh.

Um um

Alright, let's hear it

for DJ OddJob, everybody.

Yes!

Okay, now I don't

wanna see anyone

wearing anything unapproved.

Okay, no sunglasses

out of beer cases.

Steph:

I'm looking at you, Tom.

DJ Oddjob here will smack

'em straight off your face.

You understand?

- Yes!

Thank you, boys.

That's enough. Come on.

That's pretty much it.

You know what I mean?

You can't talk to these

boys like I'm their mama,

they're grown men.

I can't top-down manage 'em

'cause I'm not their boss.

Why didn't you play golf?

Ugh, I like money and I don't

like two-day hangovers.

Hey, come on, we got a

few more trailers to hit.

Dewey:

See that drive?

All day, bud.

Are you trying to

start a cricket team?

Okay. We got six

holes to keep quiet,

behave and pretend

we're good.

You know, who

designed this place?

The drainage is sh*t,

they didn't tamp the asphalt.

And who put that

f*ck' tree there?

Yo.

- Hmm?

When I say something like,

"Hey Medhi, what

do you think?"

You can dive into

your whole spiel, okay?

I know, I know, I know.

You know, talk

about the plant,

cup his ba*ls,

don't get too drunk.

I know, I know. Don't worry.

I've got it totally

under control. This guy-

Jamar:

Hey Medhi!

It's been a minute!

You remember me

from that, ah, re-retreat

to Muskoka two years ago?

Yeah, you're the guy

that organized a party

in the pool house.

That was an orgy.

Yeah, hilarious.

This guy is comedy.

You're the robot guy.

- Yeah.

Jamar:

How are things going?

Did it speed things up?

Here comes the rock!

f*ck!

- Whoa!

Fly ball!

Ah!

This is like-

- Shut up!

What's this like,

seven or eight strokes?

Jimi:

Shut the f*ck up!

For the love of God,

just drop it.

I don't know where

the f*ck it went.

Just take the shot!

I'd like to see

my f*cking grand-

There you go.

What the?

Just give it a second.

No, no, no, no.

No, it happened to Tiger.

It happened to Tiger.

- Jimi: Have you f*ck'-

It happened to Tiger!

Medhi!

Hey, Medhi.

What do you think

the wind's doin'?

Hmm?

Jamar, I know this

plant is profitable

because I helped

build it. Okay.

There it's

efficient and,

and there's room for

more efficiencies.

What are we talking about?

We know the

plant might close.

And everyone in this

town depends on it.

And Medhi here,

he's got some great ideas.

And-and-and these two

will-will fill you on,

on the money problems.

We can prove that

Imperial Valley

is top three in

profitability.

We've actually increased

production the past two years.

That's not what

the numbers say.

Yeah, the numbers

are compromised.

Bottom line:

the plant doesn't

need to close down.

Guys, I'm good to

talk about this-

And call Charles?

Sure, that too.

Let's cut the work chatter

and talk to him after.

Perfect timing.

I sh**t the lights out.

Oh, actually Jamar,

we do have one more thing.

Todd:

Yes. Hang on a second.

Chelsea:

Oh. What the hell?

What in the serious f*ck?

Chelsea:

Oh my God.

Todd:

What the f*ck are

you doing here?

Someone's draining a

brown snake there.

Oh sh*t, Bennett.

You're alive!

I'm not big on golf,

but I do enjoy spending

time with friends in nature.

The sights, the sounds.

Get off the

seltzer ya p*ssy.

How'd this guy

get the invite?

Great question.

Hey Jamar, how's Charlie's

bag taste in your mouth?

You look confused.

Like what's this guy?

Is he the bev cart girl?

And where are

Bum and Bummer?

We crossed paths earlier

and last night and

the night before that

and the night before that

and the night before that.

And the night before that.

I took care of 'em.

Like, gift card

'took care of them'

or wood chipper?

Todd, you forgot I made

intimacy with one of them.

We were almost

brothers-in-law.

Our kids could have

played T-ball together.

He dated Bev.

Bummer.

Yeah, I got my laptop back.

What?

It's in a better place.

Chelsea:

f*ck it. We're calling

Charles right now.

He's not the

impromptu type of guy.

Well, he is now.

Better do what your

lady says, Jamar.

She'll f*ck your sh*t up,

turn your d*ck

into an accordion!

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay,

okay, okay. Okay.

Chelsea:

Let's do it again.

Call up your boyfriend,

Jamar.

Tell him I'm vertical.

Good luck with the

German robot, Todd.

May your sperm

count always be low

so you shall

never reproduce.

Chelsea:

What an as*h*le!

Toodaloo!

What a f*cking clown.

I'm gonna go make sure that

psycho doesn't have the girls

stuffed in the

trunk of a car.

Taser:

Come on!

Backwoods:

I'm gonna f*ck' pound you

when I have my power juice.

Taser:

Come on!

Oh yeah, who's

got ya now big boy.

Who's got ya now.

Taser:

Hey, come here! Come here!

Backwoods:

Oh, this is an

unfair weight class.

Get him, Tase!

- Come here little mullet man!

Don't be a p*ssy, Backwoods!

Come on, I'm gonna hang

that mullet on my wall!

Hey, you getting f*cked up?

I've only had one beer.

Sorry.

Question.

Answer.

I need you to go up to Medhi's

office and look for something.

It's a drawing of

the flare stack.

Yeah. Okay. I-I know the one.

I've seen it.

Okay, good.

And when you find it,

I need you to bring it

down to the golf course.

Can I leave work?

I mean, you know,

Steph has me doing some

pretty serious rounds here.

I'm authorizing

you to leave work.

It's important.

Oh, I thought-I thought

safety was paramount.

I need to show Medhi's

work to corporate.

They're trying to close

our refinery down.

Ah, okay, um, can I

get Steph to help?

Fine, but don't tell anybody.

Bye, Todd.

Ah, f*ck Audrey.

Okay. Oh

Smells like my old

math teacher in here.

Oh, straight A's, huh?

No, none of these look like

a big d*ck shaped thing

with flames coming

out of them.

A fire breathing d*ck.

Fire breathing d*ck.

Garbage?

Ugh.

Fire breathing d*ck?

We could see if the garbage and

recycling guys grabbed it.

Yes.

Steph:

Hey Felipe!

Ladies! What brings you

to this stinky sanctuary?

When do you pick up

garbage and recycling?

We collect mañana.

Damn. I wonder where

else it could be.

Have you guys

removed anything

from Medhi the

engineer's office?

I know who took it.

Only one man has an

obsession with Medhi,

knows his comings and goings,

what he ate for breakfast,

his bowel movements.

Is that person you?

Meet me in the trailer

at the back of the yard.

You know the one.

Ah, the condemned trailer?

The one no one's

supposed to be in?

I don't want to be

on another list.

What's

that guy's problem?

Ooh ooh! Distractions!

Goddammit! Gah! Always!

- Holy sh*t.

I miss this putt,

I drink out of that pond.

Voodoo hex!

Do you want me to get

you a cup for that

or are you gonna lap it

up like a little kitty?

Okey dokey.

Ah! Come on!

Come on Medhi, you're fine.

You're fine and

absolutely fine.

Nothing abnormal.

Are you gonna make

me do this, man?

Like a kitty.

That's it, big boy.

Oh yeah.

Jimi:

Backwoods:

He's dead. He's dead.

He's nailed it.

He's nailed it.

f*cking hell!

Oh yeah, Daddy,

got you good.

Oh yeah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

f*ck yeah.

There you go,

you little stinky bugger.

You're going back

in your little home.

Todd:

And I thought you two were

being turned into compost.

Or being fed to pigs.

You sold us out to Bennett!

Yeah, but he bought

us mani's and pedi's,

and champagne and massages.

Bev:

Mmm. He said it was payback

for all the sh*t

he's put us through.

He called it

"emotional reimbursement."

Barb:

We have an open tab.

Do you want something?

Bev:

Yeah. Get in on this.

Todd:

No, I'm good.

But you two aren't.

You need to think

before you act.

That totally f*cked us.

Barb:

Oh yeah.

Why wouldn't he just

meet us out here?

I mean

Homer:

Who is it?

What's your call sign?

Ah, Todd's Sister.

Homer:

Leave your phone outside.

Godspeed.

Hello.

Jesus!

Who sent you?

Ah, you did.

What's your objective?

I'm here strictly for

research or intelligence.

Something was removed from

the Chief Engineer's office.

You wouldn't know anything

about that, would you?

f*ck sake!

Raised in a wealthy family

in Powai district in Mumbai.

His family operates a mega-corp,

which provides 17.7%

of the world's

plastic grocery bags.

Abandoned his engagement

to a woman from another power

family and fled to Canada

broke and exiled.

Applied as a junior

engineer at Conch.

His trajectory has

been upward ever since.

Okay, well, here's some

high-level intel for you:

Ah, the owner of

this company-

Charles C. Conch.

Chuckles.

Chuckles?

Chuckles wants to shut

this plant down, okay?

Homer:

So we let a

foreign operative

continue to work with us.

Why?

Because If this

plant disappears,

so does your job,

your-your salary,

your life.

You'll have to move out

west and work pipeline.

You'll share a bunk with

a guy named Skinny Ralph.

Your wife will stay home

and lay her own pipe.

You'll turn a blind

eye to the affair

because you're scared of

being alone until she just

has enough and divorces you.

And then you'll spend

the rest of your days

drinking your

sugar-free energy drinks

and eating TV dinners.

You'll spend thousands of

dollars on prostit*tes,

but not for sex,

for cuddles.

There it is.

Chelsea:

Okay. Just let's hit

pause on golf right now.

We should track down Medhi.

He's a wreck.

Jamar:

Is that his shirt?

Chelsea:

sh*t.

We've only got a few

more holes to play.

Oh God.

Are you serious right now?

God, the PR disaster,

and Bennett's bullshit,

and our boss trying to

f*ck this town outta spite?

Your future with this company

will end up in the sh*t h*le.

Oh, you mean like everyone

else in this town?

No, they should

know what's coming.

At least give 'em a chance.

Audrey:

Todd, I got it!

It was a team effort.

Oh, please. I was the one

who had to go into that

creepy a*s trailer.

I've been there

a hundred times.

Is this what you're

talkin' about?

Yep.

Check it out.

Jamar:

It's been a minute since

I've seen drawings,

but this is interesting.

We can licence our

flare tip technology.

Owning it would be lucrative.

If it works.

What's the timeline?

Well, we could add it

to the flare stack

we're currently retrofitting.

I'm not a planner.

We'd have to change the gauge

of pipe on all the headers.

That's gonna add a

couple hundred welds.

We'd have to test it all.

- Yeah.

Four to five weeks?

How 'bout one week?

Do that and Charles

would do cartwheels.

Come on, man.

No hard feelings.

Have some meat.

Break some bread.

Eat your greens!

Okay, once again,

I'd like to thank the owners

for allowing us to play

here again this year.

The only track in a 20 kilometre

radius that'll have us.

As for the tourney,

we got a new course record.

Coming in with

a minus eighteen,

is of course, Dale Edgars.

You cheated! You cheated!

- I didn't cheat! I didn't!

You saw!

Backwoods:

This is bullshit!

Ah, I thank you. I just,

I-I looked into my

heart and, ah

Sit the f*ck down, Dewey!

You cheated! Minus 18?

Who shoots minus 18?

Steph:

Dale Edgars?

Chelsea:

Thank you, everyone,

for your personal donations.

Today we raised over

$23,000 for the

the whales?

That's great. I love whales.

And on a more serious note,

um, I wanna

address any rumours

that you'll hear about

the plant closing.

These are not rumours.

I was sent here to oversee

the closing of your facility.

I f*ck' knew it!

- What?

You're a traitor!

- Son of a wh*re.

Hang on.

But it shouldn't be closed.

Now this is one of the best

refineries I've ever seen.

Yes it is!

Charles Conch

should know this!

Yes!

- He should!

We need to hustle and get

the flare stack online,

and our timeline to

do so is shrinking.

What-what she's saying is,

our accounting has

been dog sh*t.

Bev:

Hey!

The previous

Site Manager, Bennett,

was irresponsible and he

completely f*cked us.

But as much as it

was his fault,

I take the blame as well

because I didn't do

anything about it.

'Cause you're a p*ssy.

How do we get rid of you?

You can't.

Not now.

Looks like me and you

are tunnel buddies.

What the f*ck, Barb?

Barb:

He did that himself!

I swear to God!

Seriously? Bennett?

Barb:

Free champagne, open tab.

I don't know.

Bennett:

I can feel some

tension here.

I think you two should

work this out, okay.

Todd:

Real nice. Real nice, Barb.

Barb:

Sorry.

Todd:

I would never do that to you.

Chelsea:

All right. Who

needs a band, right?

Um

Look, there is no reason

that you should trust me,

but there is a

way out of this.

One of our very own,

Medhi, our chief engineer,

has designed new technology

that will put us on the map.

Taser:

You already tried to

replace us with robots!

Yeah!

Let's prove that

Imperial Valley

has the best trades

and the best f*ck'

refinery in the world!

Has anybody seen Medhi?

Need a lift?

Ah, I just called a cab.

Oh no. Cancel it.

Oh, well if it

wasn't for you,

this day would've

ended differently.

So, you knew they were

gonna shut the plant down

and that's why you came?

No, I know that now,

but I didn't when I

accepted the transfer.

Right. Yeah.

I can see why you

wouldn't tell anyone.

It's a new place and you

don't know anyone here.

I got to where I am now

by doing what's asked of me.

I put the company

first before people.

That's funny?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, 'cause

people are your company.

And people can also suck.

And this town doesn't

forget very easily.

I mean, some do forgive

and some put sugar

in your gas tank.

Well, that's a weird

way to cheer someone up.

But thank you.

You know, you messed up

and now you're fixing it.

You might actually have

more to offer this town

than you think.

Sorry, that was totally

outta character.

Todd:

Medhi?

Yo, Medster!

The Medman, where are ya?

Medhi:

Golden Arm!

Where've ya been?

You missed everything!

Yeah. Well, I, I fell

asleep in the grass

then, uh, some kind of

wild animal woke me up.

I was really worried

about you, Medhi.

Hey, can I borrow your sock?

I already used my hat.

Are you done?

Just gimme like

ten more seconds.

Todd:

Not you sh1tting in the cup.

I'm talking about blowing

your brains out every night.

The drunk driving.

Like you're 50 going on 20.

Aren't you tired, brother?

Buddy,

I'm exhausted.

I bet you are.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Don't leave a mess.

Ugh.

Todd:

You're the f*ck' mess.

Come on, man.

Let's get you sorted.

Golden Arm. Old buddy.

I don't know where

my wallet is.

Todd:

It doesn't matter.

We'll find it.

Man, this is like

my fifth try at this.

Okay, it's a great idea but

I've maxed out my benefits.

I think I'm in love

with my physio girl.

Todd:

Forget about it.

We got this one.

All the funds we raised

will pay for it.

The whales,

they can wait

till next year.

Yo.

Did I sh*t in the hole?

Don't worry about that,

it's gonna rain.

Good luck, Medhi.

Hello? I'm back!