01x02 - The New Boss

[bunniefuu]

Is she toast?

Van Halen is finally dead.

She's being towed

in a few hours.

Thanks for trying.

Sorry.

She's "Running With

The Devil" now.

Packed you a lunch.

Whoa!

Here's your tool belt.

Cool.

One of my buckets.

People might think it's

cool or you might get chirped,

we'll see.

Todd.

It's pretty old and shitty,

just like your van.

Jam and cheese,

your favourite.

Yeah, in, like,

grade five.

Thanks though.

Lunch is sacred.

That's when you really

get to know people,

on a personal level.

I'm thinking day one

start a rumour about myself.

That's actually clever.

I'm gonna borrow that.

Oh yeah? What rumour

would you start?

I don't know.

Maybe that I'm a

badass black belt.

Okay, that's not what I

thought you were gonna say.

What'd you think

I was gonna say,

that I won the salmon derby?

No. I thought you were gonna

say that you have a big

A big truck?

A big what?

Nevermind.

Let's drive.

Todd:

You're probably overqualified.

I just work with a Foreman,

couldn't even read.

What?

- Seriously.

His wife wrote all his emails.

No one caught on until

he was asked to take

notes at a meeting.

The guy drew pictures.

Pictures?

Going home to

get some Petey?

Okay.

That guy did

not look so hot.

People that survive in

here are built differently.

Book smarts are

important today.

Yeah.

Street smarts are for survival

once you're sworn in.

Dude, I grew up with

the trades, okay?

I can play ball.

Don't wear make-up.

Make eye contact,

but not too much.

Don't lease a truck after

your first paycheque.

Don't bang a trades guy.

Or piss off a foreman.

How 'bout don't bang

or piss off anyone?

Everyone here is either

raising their kids

or raising their truck.

I think I need to

blend in better.

I suggest more plaid.

Take up fishing.

Ugh!

My lady.

Did Charles say anything

about expectations?

Cuz I'm gonna need

a couple of weeks

to get the lay

of the land.

Jamar:

Call me when

you need help.

Chelsea:

Thank you.

Ah, no cell phones

on the floor.

Oh, thank you, again.

They're

always listening.

It's off.

All good.

Todd:

Can't throw that out.

f*ck.

Classic Bennett.

This the Site Manager's office?

Ah, yeah.

Seems like it's

already occupied.

No. Are you from head office?

I certainly am.

And you must be

Todd Stool.

So not the guy

who's in a coma.

Not yet.

Well, thanks Todd.

I've heard great

things about you.

The German Robot.

Way to be thinking ahead.

Todd:

Who

the f*ck are you?

Thank you.

Greetings from

Alberta Oil Country.

I'm Charles Conch,

CEO of Conch Industries.

We're here to learn

from yesterday

to build a stronger

and a safer tomorrow.

Alright, and that d*uche

nozzle is the owner.

Okay, we'll come

back to that later.

How today works is,

we're gonna do a quiet

walk around of the plant,

get acquainted.

We're gonna come back,

watch some more videos

and you will continue

to shut the f*ck up.

And then we're

gonna take a test.

Now, it's an easy test.

Don't worry, in my

forty years working here,

no one has ever

failed this test.

Although, one of you dipshits

might be the first one.

Okay, suit up.

We have to wear

this stuff all day?

Except the harness.

Ah, we, got, ah,

special ones for you

so it doesn't damage the,

ah, the-the-the-the, ah,

you know, the-the-the-the

underground there.

Stop pointing at it.

Right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

We're trying really hard to

accommodate for the ladies,

you see.

We order some

extra-small coveralls

and I hear that they

serve Pinot Grigio

at the union meetings.

Okay. All right.

Anyways, wear that gear

it's gonna save your life.

You wear it in the winter.

You wear it in the heat.

No one said making money was

gonna be comfortable, right?

Unless you're on your back.

Audrey:

You wanna end up on yours?

Todd:

She was all business.

You know

She's hot.

She could be a detective

investigating Bennett's

attempted m*rder.

Homer. It was an overdose.

She walked in on me

when I was in his office

and there was drugs everywhere

and some weird porn.

Nice.

- Steph: How much?

The drugs or the porn?

Both.

Why were you in there?

I was just cleaning it up.

They're gonna fill it

with someone, right?

Mm-hmm.

Hey Stephanie, what was

it you were saying about

them bringing

out the podium?

Yeah, they're draggin'

it outta storage.

Backwoods:

You see that?

You know what that means?

- Todd: What?

You are getting a promotion,

my man.

Homer:

Ah, I don't know.

This feels like a

false flag to me.

Thanks a lot, Mr. Negative.

Steph:

You know they are

gonna want a photo

and nothing I'm seeing

here is screaming "Boss."

Oh, lady's right,

you stink a little.

You need to go

brush your teeth.

Clean your fingernails, man.

I'm not changing sh*t.

You're all trying

to hype me up here.

His ears don't

match his head.

Anyway to make 'em smaller?

God, you're right.

- What?

I mean, I don't think we

have time for surgery

but we can remove some hair.

Maybe shape these brows.

Wow, you are

extra oily today.

Backwoods:

Lady's right again.

Holy sh*t.

Looks like your

forehead's so greasy

my eyes are just

sliding right off it.

Shut up.

But look, I'm serious.

No one's gonna say it,

I'm gonna have to,

you might have to cut off

the old bologna tail.

Not happening!

I didn't want it.

I was wondering

what that stench

Yes, yes, whatever.

Apologies for my,

ah, t*rd.

I had, um, engineering

stuff to do.

So checking the flow rates on

the beer bottles last night?

Alright, just don't

touch anything

smarter people are

working on, Taser.

Backwoods: Hey Medhi.

- Yeah?

Why do they bring

out the podium?

Somebody's getting promoted.

Not reprimanded?

No, no, no.

They don't send head

office for a spanking.

f*cking told you!

Steph:

f*ck. We are gonna

have to clean you up.

Jimi:

Alright, come on.

Pick it up. Pick it up.

Three points of

contact at all times.

This does serve a purpose.

Hey man, when can we smoke?

We're getting paid

for today, right?

You can't and yes.

Boiler coming

up on the left.

Very hot.

Got a condenser

to your right.

Red valve. Very hot.

That's a oil drain.

Whoa! I know you.

Remember I burned you

a CD in high school?

You were going through

a punk rock phase.

Oh yeah. You do know me.

I'm Todd's sister.

Yes, that's you.

I never forget a face. Ever.

Oh.

- Oh these.

We're gonna give your

a bro a makeover

before he gets promoted.

To Site Manager?

So it's actually happening?

He's gonna be head honcho.

Big wig from the city

is here to bless him.

Jimi:

Hey Dewey,

what the f*ck?

You corrupting the rooks?

What are you doing?

Leave 'em alone.

Where'd you get those?

You know you have

a whack of sh*t

you didn't return yesterday.

Oh yeah, you did.

I brought them back.

Oh, you're minding your

own business now, Dewey?

Steph:

Sit your a*s down.

Ow!

- Oh yeah.

Go with the grain.

Go with the grain.

Steph:

I'm doing it.

I'm doing that.

Ah!

Careful back there.

Here comes the airplane.

It's pretty

clean back there.

Gimme that! Geezus.

In a circular motion.

Is this not overkill?

What difference is

this gonna make?

I don't need make-up!

Taser:

You do!

That's what you think.

- Haha.

Steph:

Pliers.

Backwoods, hold him.

Backwoods:

I got him. I got him.

Steph:

Hold him still!

Ow!

Steph:

You're disgusting.

Dewer. Hit me!

Bye bye, bologna.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are you doing?

Gimme those!

Everybody out.

Aw.

Get the f*ck out.

Backwoods:

Aw, we were helping. p*ssy.

Steph:

Pretty boy. Pretty boy.

Ladders and stairs

are commonly used

in the construction process

to access high up areas.

Charles Conch :

It's crucial to

give my workers

thorough training on how

to pick the right ladder

or the right stairs,

how to set 'em up proper

and how to climb

up safely.

Hey, ah, you're

missing the video.

Am I?

No. Definitely not.

fellow workers to keep

their workspaces clean.

Sweet bucket.

Audrey:

Thank you.

So I've just came

in to say 'hello'.

Looks like you're

all pretty busy.

What trade are you?

Ah, carpenters. Potentially.

If I can make it

through this video.

Always keep the three

points of contact

when you're

climbing up on

Oh, there's Charles.

Stiff as a board.

You know that guy?

Yeah, you could

call him my mentor.

Or my boss.

Ahhh.

I bet you have

another name for him.

Audrey:

Are you, like, in finance

or something important?

Oh, no.

I'm the new Site Manager.

Oh. Are there two

Site Managers here?

No, just me.

Are you sure?

- Positive.

Wow. Okay, cool.

Um, it was really

nice to meet you.

Well, we're in a

non-designated area.

Don't get caught.

When I'm in charge, only

people will push the product.

You people are the product.

Get ready for the

right kind of change.

If it ain't broke,

don't fix it.

Don't be a p*ssy.

Hey.

Todd, it's not you.

Are you crazy?

No phones in the plant!

Um

Guys, I'm gonna

use the bathroom.

Feel free to continue

the training without me,

but just don't

start the test.

That dude said no one leaves,

so we're not covering for ya.

Can you grab me a coffee?

Two sugars please.

That was f*ck' rude.

Weird.

Steph!

Todd's sister!

I didn't think you'd

go through with it.

Yeah. Surprise.

I'll tell you all about it,

but first I need to find Todd.

Where do meetings happen?

Oh, the meeting's

in heavy machinery.

Just follow the signage.

What's up, guys?

Steph, still breaking hearts?

One at a time.

Yo, you can't be here

on a Visitor's Pass.

Oh no, this is

TaterTodd's sister.

Oh. Good to meet you.

This area's off

limits for visitors.

Rules are rules.

Now, follow me back

to the entrance.

Sorry man, it's a

family emergency!

Marcus:

Really?

No running, man!

I just put up the sign!

Marcus:

And she's quick!

I'll send you

a hundred bucks,

you let me borrow the

suit for a couple days

and I get to pop the hood on

this thing, surveillance style.

You like? You dig?

Oh, look at that!

- Holy sh*t!

Ready for the new position?

Your neck must be so cold!

Todd:

Here we go!

What the f*ck are

you doing here?

Get up there.

- Okay.

Go do it, Todd.

Three points of contact

in the stairwells!

This is bullshit!

I know!

Hey! No running, man!

You know the rules!

Stomp to the death.

Audrey:

Sucker!

What's up John?

Hey, you know my dad!

Marcus:

I can do this all day!

Audrey:

Holy sh*t, this guy

never gets tired!

Conchie!

How's everybody doing?

I guess I'm gonna have to

get used to doing this

a lot more now.

Hey.

- Thank you.

Good afternoon,

I'm Chelsea.

Ah, wait, sorry.

We have a ritual to

start our meetings.

I thought I was gonna

get it this time.

You can't be in here without

proper eyewear, man!

Gimme those!

I gotta go warn my brother!

Please, Marcus.

Once again, I'm Chelsea.

I was Manager of Oil and

Gas Operations out west.

What we extracted out

there was sent here

and you talented

folks refine it.

Now it's no surprise,

I hope,

that the previous era

under Randy Bennett

fell short of what this

place is capable of.

I wish him a

speedy recovery.

But this plant,

in fact all of you,

deserve better.

Todd.

This refinery should be one of

the most competitive facilities

on the planet.

Thank you, Chelsea.

I really appreciate

someone from head office

showing up to make

this transition so special.

Todd!

Todd!

Todd!

I guess some people are more

excited about my promotion

than I am.

I think you should

let me finish.

And I wanna give a really

big shout out to corporate

for finally promoting

homegrown talent.

Wow! I've never had an

introduction quite like this,

but I'll take it!

Thank you all

for welcoming me

as your new Site Manager

here at Imperial Valley.

Did she say

she's the Site Manager?

You can sit down now.

Thank you.

So I'm looking forward

to getting to know

each and every

one of you.

Backwoods:

Don't worry about it, brother,

you'll get it next time.

Yeah, sometimes I'm wrong.

I don't give a f*ck.

Those are the rules.

You leave, you fail.

Then you were

gone when I, uh

When you woke up

from your nap?

If you're done

with your test,

you can f*ck off!

C'mon Jimi, I-I was on a

humanitarian mission, okay.

That failed.

Yeah, that's two fails.

My brother just got

honey-dicked, okay.

He thought he was being

promoted to Site Manager

and then they boned him.

Her brother's Todd Stool.

Oh, you're Todd's sister.

Yeah, you have

the same forehead.

Last time I seen you, your Papa

was pushing you in a stroller.

I grew up with your dad.

Went to high school together.

Rode the same bus.

sh*t, rode the

same cheerleader.

Wow.

It's an absolute pleasure

to be looking at

Roddy Stool's cumshot.

What the f*ck?

Well, I'm-I'm glad my

dad didn't pull out.

You dudes have

a nice chat.

Was that? Did I? Was that?

Was that? Did I

Jimi, I'm just trying

to change my life here.

Oh. Alright.

You've got 20 minutes.

Better get at it Ms. Stool.

And another thing:

Who the f*ck is

Chelsea Nakamura?

If I fail, can I apply

for other trades?

Is that, like,

even allowed?

There are twelve other

locals you could hit up.

Yeah, there's

definitely options.

Todd!

Just hold up a second.

There was a lot of

confusion here today.

Oh, you think?

Well, oversight

is to be expected

during transitions

like this.

Well, you just, like, use

the phone or send an email.

Look, I'm sorry if that

I guess today was probably

weird for you, too.

I'm gonna need your

help with this transition.

Now, a good Site Manager is

only as good as her foreman.

Do you see that

being a problem?

Todd:

Well, I guess we'll find out.

Hey, I hope your

test went well.

Audrey:

Oh my gosh.

It's f*cked.

Hello?

Todd'er? It's Jimi.

Yeah, I heard about

what happened today.

Hey Jimi, thanks

for calling.

I appreciate it, man.

That was not easy for sure.

Yeah, yeah. That's

not why I'm calling.

I'm callin' about

your sister.

How'd she do?

Jimi:

She smashed her test in

under 20 minutos, pal.

I mean, she squeaked the 70.

But I-I gotta say,

I gotta

I said some weird

sh*t, you know,

and I might've mentioned

your dad's b*ll s*ck

and ejaculation and

stuff and I-I

Todd:

I'm sure it's alright.

She's a big girl.

Jimi :

Anyway, I'm calling to get

the green light from you.

You know you've got the

final say here, pal.

Todd:

Not my call, Jimi.

If she qualifies,

put her in.

I mean, that's how

it happened with me.

I got in on my own

Right?

Don't flatter yourself, kid.

Your daddy put

in some calls.

Of course he did.

Jimi :

What do ya say?

I get her on a permit

and see how she does?

You don't need my permission.

Okay, well that's good because

I already put it through.

Ciao.

- Thanks Jimi.

Well done.

Yes!

I put "D" for every answer.

Hang on.

Listening to the game.

Hey, do me a favour

keep the promotion

fail on the down low.

That is exactly not

how our family operates.

This isn't a pity party.

Let's celebrate you passing.

Even if it was just barely.

But this is it.

You're workin'!

Dad's gonna be stoked.

Auds.

Thanks for trying to save me

from whatever the

f*ck happened today.

I got ya.

Love you.

What'd you get?

Pizza.

Rod:

Got more commercials

than game is what I got.

You sell one thing and

you do it properly.

Anyway, what's-what's

the deal?

Is there any news?

Well, it is official

I'm on permit.

Permit?

Yeah.

Well there goes our

discount at Jean Dream.

Oh, I never even

thought about that.

Yeah. Things to

think about, huh?

Oh man.

Seriously. Way to go

that was so good.

Ahhh!

A carpenter!

- I know! I know!

I'm one of you guys now!

There ya go.

Thank you.

You cut your hair!

It was time.

Did you save it

for the scrapbook?

Dad, I'm not ten.

That's too bad, man.

That thing had a good run.

Needed to look

more professional.

I was supposed to get

my photo taken today.

What for?

Oh, look who's here guys?

Ahoy!

Audrey:

What's up?

Backwoods:

Just came in to check

on our boy here.

See how he's doing. Brother.

Roddy, how's you going?

Good, Reggie. Good.

Your old man get

his hip done?

Yep, both. Got the

two for one special.

Oh.

- Reggie: No, no thanks.

Well, cheers to not having

to wear a f*cking tie.

Ah, who wears a tie?

It's weird.

What, you guys

haven't told him yet?

Told me-told me what?

It's nothing.

You sure you

don't want any?

No, I'm good.

- It's good.

Actually, you know what?

It is something.

I got leapfrogged

by a corporate MBA

in a skirt and heels.

She breezed right in and

took the Site Manager's job

without ever stepping

foot on the site.

I mean, how is that right?

Seems like no one gets

in on merit anymore.

Look at the crop of apprentices

you've been given lately.

Tell me about it.

We're scraping the bottom

of the g*dd*mn barrel.

Hey now! You do

realize that I'm new

and I don't know

what I'm doing yet.

Everyone except you.

You decided to join the

trades like three days ago.

It took me months

to get in.

And Trade school.

You and everyone else are

just so casual about it.

And the new boss,

Chelsea, is the same.

She waltzes in and it's

gonna take her forever

to understand everything.

I could've started today.

Have you stopped to consider

that maybe you're just not

the right person for the job?

Well, outta respect I'm

gonna take this bad boy, yoink,

and smoke it out there.

Cool.

So you got passed up?

Yep.

Rod:

The little guy doesn't get

in on the boardroom chatter.

Corporate they-they play

in a different field

than tradesmen.

And women now.

Thank you.

Rod:

It's nothing new,

you know,

don't act surprised.

Everyone in that f*cking

room saw how surprised I was.

Yeah, I know.

Jimi told me.

g*dd*mn Jimi.

Look, it's embarrassing.

It is, okay. But come on.

There's worse tragedies, huh?

You kids are so

f*cking lucky.

When I started there

was like no work. Zero.

We fought for every hour.

Guys would shovel the

foreman's driveway

just in hopes of getting some

kind of favour from him.

And you, please, don't

be mad at your sister

for having the same advantage

that you did getting in.

Fathers recommend sons,

brothers recommend sisters.

It's easy for someone to walk

in there hand off a resume,

pass a test.

It's your work ethic that's

gonna keep you there.

How many years?

Going on twenty.

Twenty years!

That's a long time.

You're a Red Seal welder.

You know more sh*t about

putting a crew together

than these people.

If you want the job

in management,

you'll get it.

Besides, it's not like the

plant's going anywhere.

You're right, Dad.

I appreciate it.

Sorry, Auds.

It's fine.

Hey, there is a

raccoon out there.

He just told me

to f*ck off.