01x01 - Khali Bus Ka Suhana Safar

[bunniefuu]

- Oh! Amazing!

- That's so good!

- Wow!

- Too good!

- Wow!

- Too good!

Do it!

Come on, do it!

Don't you think Dad is spending a

lot of time in the prayer sessions?

- Why are you worrying about him?

- Why shouldn't I?

- Why are you worrying about him?

- Why shouldn't I?

You get turned on as soon as he leaves the house.

- Then I get all busy, right?

- Then I get all busy, right?

You know

after my mother's demise,

these prayer sessions

after my mother's demise,

these prayer sessions

Have helped Dad overcome the pain.

It was so good!

Uncle, was there so much

milk in the pot that it boiled over?

- I will beat you up! Get lost!

- I will beat you up! Get lost!

My milk boils or doesn’t, how does it concern you?

Seven

Ramprasad.

- What happened, Dad?

- What happened, Dad?

The prayer session was quite long today.

- Pushpa, serve the dinner. Dad is here

- Pushpa, serve the dinner. Dad is here.

Dad, shall I warm up the

food? Everything is ready.

My hunger was fully

satiated in the prayer session

My hunger was fully

satiated in the prayer session.

Just give me some water

Just give me some water.

That's all I need

Listen

Listen, dear

Can you hear me?

What happened? Are you asleep?

- Sister I mean, ma'am

- Sister I mean, ma'am.

How did you come here?

Nirmala has sent me straight from heaven

Nirmala has sent me straight from heaven.

She said that the weather is really cold.

- "Go, warm him up."

- "Go, warm him up."

It's nothing!

I think, his bed has become old like him

I think, his bed has become old like him.

Its joints have become lose.

It makes that noise even when he coughs

It makes that noise even when he coughs.

- We need to fix this

- We need to fix this.

Fix whom? Dad?

I was talking about the bed

The sunshine started melting the snow.

The sunshine started melting the snow.

The sun was shining through

the dewdrops on leaves

The sun was shining through

the dewdrops on leaves

Just like Devika's gold earrings.

Only two people lived in

Devika's ancestral house.

Only two people lived in Devika's ancestral house.

Devika and her father.

Devika and her father.

Devika would manage all the worldly affairs

and her father made sure

he fulfilled all her needs

And her father made

sure he fulfilled all her needs.

So that Devika never missed her mother.

Only two of them lived in that huge house.

Her aged father and Devika herself.

Her aged father and Devika herself.

Sir, what shall I cook for lunch today?

Uncle, what's with the pranking?

It's not a prank. It's the bitter truth

You're busy writing.

So I do all the cooking.

I feel like a woman now

Okay, Uncle. I will cook dinner.

- You go get some rest

- You go get some rest.

If you want me to rest, please get married.

These winter nights

will be exciting for you

These winter nights

will be exciting for you

And my days will get better.

Uncle, what about your nights?

Uncle, what about your nights?

And if you are so excited about marriage

why don't you get married?

An old man cannot handle

the pressure of new marriage

An old man cannot handle

the pressure of new marriage.

Otherwise, I'd have gotten

married a long time ago.

- Uncle, until my book gets published and

- Uncle, until my book gets published and

I stand on my own two feet

until I start contributing

towards this family

until I start contributing

towards this family

I won't get married.

After that, I'll marry whoever you want me to.

- Listen, my dear nephew

- Listen, my dear nephew.

Will you marry when you're old and grey?

Roasted nuts! Take these

roasted nuts, gentlemen!

Roasted nuts! Take these

roasted nuts, gentlemen!

Give me some worth ten rupees, baby!

I feel young after eating

those hot nuts you serve.

Sure, I'll give you the nuts worth ten rupees

But you might not be able to handle

the hotness, and go straight up!

Ticket! Ticket!

Ticket! Ticket!

Ticket! Ticket!

Do one thing. Call the driver here as well.

- I will start the show here, okay?

- I will start the show here, okay?

- Let's go. Come on. Ticket! Ticket!

- Let's go. Come on. Ticket! Ticket!

Get down! Get down, everyone

Get down! Get down, everyone.

Come on! Get down.

Sir, please help me

Sir, please help me.

Well, everyone else dived in with both feet

Well, everyone else dived in with both feet.

- But here you are, all dried and sear

- But here you are, all dried and sear.

Because I do not want to.

I belong to a decent family

Because I do not want to.

I belong to a decent family.

No matter how decent the family

the show always goes

on behind closed doors

the show always goes

on behind closed doors.

Do call me to see your decent family one day.

I will cook curry and rice for you

I will cook curry and rice for you

Please excuse me

SAARTHI PRINTING PRESS

SAARTHI PRINTING PRESS

Go in, only you

- Mister, what nonsense is this?

- Mister, what nonsense is this?

You're sending in the people who came after me.

- You think this is a joke?

- You think this is a joke?

Of course! Mr. Durgaprasad called me

to discuss about Devika's Despair.

Do that when you're called in

But he called me at this time

and I've been here for two hours!

You think you're a big shot writer?

It takes time. He is very busy.

Sit down!

- Why won't you let me go inside?

- Ghanshyam!

- Ghanshyam! Let him come in

- Ghanshyam! Let him come in.

Go. Yes, I am sending him in.

- Go

- Go.

Causing unnecessary trouble!

- Hello, Mr. Durgaprasad.

- Hello.

I wanted to know the

status of Devika's Despair.

I wanted to know the

status of Devika's Despair.

Oh! So, that's your story?

Oh! So, that's your story?

It is the same Devika,

who is struggling and

challenging society

who is struggling and

challenging society

And she won't give up or back out.

- She won't spare anyone. Right?

- She won't spare anyone. Right?

Yes, that's my creation.

- Oh! It's your creation?

- Yes.

- Amazing!

- Amazing!

- Ghanshyam!

- Yes?

- Will you eat Samosas?

- Will you eat Samosas?

Yes, it will be nice.

Why are you staring at me? Look at him

He is a writer, look closely.

This is how a writer should be.

- The story he has written

- The story he has written

In his book

is a path-breaking invention

in the world of medicine

is a path-breaking invention

in the world of medicine.

It works like an anaesthesia.

You will see, big shot

surgeons in this country

You will see, big shot

surgeons in this country

Will give their patients his

book before the operation.

- The first page will stop their heart

- The first page will stop their heart.

The second will stop their brain,

the third will put them to sleep.

Then their voice, breath

Everything will go away!

Then their voice, breath

Everything will go away!

Mr. Durgaprasad, I did not get it.

- Sir, if writing was so easy

- Sir, if writing was so easy

I would have published four books by now

- and become a big shot

- and become a big shot.

This is Rajni, Kamal’s era and

you're pitching Bhagavathar?

- Are you getting me?

- Are you getting me?

Write something different.

Write something exciting.

- Write something rousing!

- Write something rousing!

Add some spice!

Spice it up so that your readers

burn with desire to read your work

Spice it up so that your readers

burn with desire to read your work.

Force your readers to read

your book over and over again

Force your readers to read

your book over and over again.

Write something that the public wants.

- And you know what the public wants?

- And you know what the public wants?

I wouldn't have been here otherwise

You are born in the wrong era Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes!

You are born in the wrong era Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes!

Go and write something new

Do you get it now?

An ugly duckling can never be a swan.

- Ghanshyam!

- Yes, sir!

- He thinks my literature is not worth it

- He thinks my literature is not worth it.

The publisher wants

something rousing and exciting.

Something that will entice the readers

Something that will entice the readers

Something spicy and that too, in two days.

- As if I am a chef, not a writer

- As if I am a chef, not a writer.

Hold on! I get it

My friend, you have put the wrong

pin code on the right address

What do you mean?

I mean

- do you have ten rupees?

- Do you have ten rupees?

Yes. But why?

Okay, then!

Today, I will make you

the greatest writer of them all!

Today, I will make you

the greatest writer of them all!

Come on. The film will

start. Did the film start, Uncle?

Come on. The film will

start. Did the film start, Uncle?

- Go inside. Quick!

- Yes.

Let's go

Let's go.

What happened?

- Gopal, I don't feel right about this

- Gopal, I don't feel right about this.

Why are we here?

This is the real treasure. Let's grab it.

- Let me show you. -Gopal, no!

- Let me show you. -Gopal, no!

Make way!

Come on!

Gopal, I don't even

understand this language

Gopal, I don't even

understand this language.

So, why am I watching this?

Bro, this film is not

for you to understand

Bro, this film is not

for you to understand.

It's for you to experience!

- Your ears have no work

- Your ears have no work,

You have to use another organ, my innocent friend.

- Gopal!

- Look there

Where are you going?

The real fun will start now

Where are you going?

The real fun will start now.

- All right, stop shouting!

- All right, stop shouting!

What?

What happened?

Rajaram! Rajaram!

Rajaram! Rajaram!

What happened?

Rajaram, what is the matter?

Are you okay? Why did you leave?

Rajaram, what is the matter?

Are you okay? Why did you leave?

Why?

This filth is the spice

that will entice everybody?

Tell me. Do you want

me to write this filth?

Tell me. Do you want

me to write this filth?

Bro, this is not filth.

- It's the true essence of life!

- It's the true essence of life!

This is the real spice, my friend.

It brings excitement in

everybody's mundane lives

It brings excitement in

everybody's mundane lives.

Gopal, I write literature.

I am not a low-grade writer

to have this filth published!

I am not a low-grade writer

to have this filth published!

Mr. Writer, this is what people want

Mr. Writer, this is what people want.

And what people want is always in demand

Nonsense.

Rajaram, try to understand me

As much as people enjoy watching sex,

they will enjoy reading

about it too, I am sure

they will enjoy reading

about it too, I am sure

Now you try to understand this.

Watching this filth has

made your thoughts filthy

Watching this filth has

made your thoughts filthy.

Get yourself some detox.

It's rotting your brain

Get yourself some

detox. It's rotting your brain.

Rajaram!

This is what people want.

And what people want is always in demand.

Write something different.

Write something exciting

Write something different.

Write something exciting.

Add some spice!

As much as people enjoy watching sex,

- they will enjoy reading about it too

- They will enjoy reading about it too.

An ugly duckling can never be a swan.

Add some spice!

- As much as people enjoy watching sex

- As much as people enjoy watching sex,

They will enjoy reading about it too.

- An ugly duckling can never be a swan

- An ugly duckling can never be a swan.

Call me to see your family one day.

I will cook curry and rice for you.

Spice it up so that your readers

burn with desire to read your work.

THE LONE PASSENGER

- Standing at five foot, three inches

- Standing at five foot, three inches

With a deadly combination of

38C-30-38 and intoxicating eyes.

38C-30-38 and intoxicating eyes.

This combination was none other than

Rani.

All the men riding the bus

would wait for this firecracker

All the men riding the bus

would wait for this firecracker

To come sell nuts in the bus.

- But that night, I was the only one

- But that night, I was the only one

Who got to witness her generosity.

- My eyes were fixed on the liquor

- My eyes were fixed on the liquor.

Not the one in the bottle, but the liquor

- that was flowing down her throat

- That was flowing down her throat

Into her bosom, trying to find a place.

The speeding bus was

hell-bent on bringing us closer

The speeding bus was

hell-bent on bringing us closer

It was the first time I

had seen her so closely.

And for the first time, our breaths become one.

I unfasten my belt and

relieved the tension in my pants

I unfasten my belt and

relieved the tension in my pants.

With her impatience at its peak

- Rani pulled up her skirt

- Rani pulled up her skirt

And sat in my lap.

We both were enjoying the journey

and equally sharing the

joy of being there together

And equally sharing the

joy of being there together.

We made sure we make full use of the empty bus.

We made sure we make full use of the empty bus.

We took turns on whichever seat we liked.

We took turns on whichever seat we liked.

I felt like a kid running loose in a toy store.

I didn't know

which toy I should've grabbed tight

or which one I should've taken down the shelf.

- I took full control

- I took full control

And fulfilled all my desires.

- Time came to a standstill

- Time came to a standstill

And I drowned Rani in the sea of my youth

over and over again

"Either the driver had lost his way"

- or the sun was in a deep slumber

- or the sun was in a deep slumber.

She kept serving me curry and rice.

- And I gorged it all

- And I gorged it all.

Sometimes the rice was

served on top of the curry

and at times the curry

was on top of the rice."

and at times the curry

was on top of the rice."

This is not just spice, it's a

spice factory you’ve got here!

This is not just spice, it's a

spice factory you’ve got here!

You changed the meaning of

"curry and rice" as comfort food.

Rice on top and curry below!

Mr. Durgaprasad, a writer is always versatile.

If I can write the

melancholic Devika's Despair,

If I can write the

melancholic Devika's Despair,

I am also capable of exciting you!

Do it! Excite me!

Do it! Excite me!

Tell me, how much will you charge to excite me?

You mean, you will publish it?

Of course! It will bring you a lot of money

Everyone will be chanting "Rajaram."

Every man in this country

will read these stories

No, Mr. Durgaprasad. I can't have

- my name associated with this content

- my name associated with this content.

My family reputation, my

image, everything will be ruined

Family reputation, wow!

- Do you understand English?

- Of course.

- A wise person once said

- A wise person once said

"Dirty books"

Dirty books.

- "Dirty books rarely get dusty."

- "Dirty books rarely get dusty."

"Dirty books rarely get dusty."

Do you get it?

Your sorrowful creation

- Yes?

- That book there

- will definitely collect dust

- will definitely collect dust.

But this will never

have a dust particle on it

But this will never

have a dust particle on it.

Anyway, your name

doesn't go with the content. It's not a match.

We have to

find something different

for this exciting creation

find something different

for this exciting creation.

We have to find a pen name for this.

- We need to find something

- We need to find something

Which will sound exciting!

Something scintillating!

- Mastram. -What?

- Mastram. -What?

- Mastram.

- Mastram!

- Mastram! Of course!

- Mastram! Of course!

Mastram is perfect!

This is just the advance

If we don't sell 25,000 copies

you can name your pet after me

Okay, sir

I will see you, Mr. Durgaprasad.

- Wait

- Wait

What will be Mastram's next story?

I haven't found it yet, Mr. Durgaprasad.

- I will write it when I see it

- I will write it when I see it.

- Mastram!

- Mastram!

THE LONE PASSENGER

What will be Mastram's next story?

- I will write it when I see it

- I will write it when I see it

I want to tell you what

my heart goes through ♪

I want to tell you what my heart goes through ♪

I want to be with you ♪

I want to be with you ♪

I want to tell you what

my heart goes through ♪

I want to tell you what my heart goes through ♪

I want to be with you ♪

I want to be with you ♪

My days ♪

My days ♪

My days and my nights

are incomplete without you ♪

My days and my nights

are incomplete without you ♪

- What are you doing this weekend?

- I'll be home

- What are you doing this weekend?

- I'll be home.

- Okay then, come over to my place.

- What?

I'll take a few extra classes

and explain everything

I'll take a few extra classes

and explain everything

This rascal is a pervert!