01x02 - I Got It From My Mamma

[bunniefuu]

When everything in life

seems to be falling apart,

the only place you can

truly escape to is home.

Mom, I don't feel like talking

about it right now.

Will you have paratha?

Don't forget the pickle.

And suddenly, you're back to feeling

like that lost little girl

who just wants to hide

from all her problems.

I present to you "Masaba's Breakup Bible."

Your bed is meant for sleeping,

not to stress about in.

Get up and get moving.

Don't skip meals.

The truth may be hard to swallow

but food should not be.

Life must go on

Ma'am, Fair & Beautiful wants

to collaborate on a campaign with you.

Gitanjali Wax Strips wants to launch

a "Limited Edition Masaba Collection."

Ma'am, I have a bill

for a pair of shoes worth Rs. 65,000.

Did they add an extra zero by mistake?

even if you wished

you could hit the pause button.

Do more of what you love

Let's use this fabric for Sanjana's gown.

Ma'am, what about Tim-Tim and Tango?

Who are they?

Ma'am, her dogs.

They need matching outfits as well.

Now I must design clothes for dogs?

even if it feels like

a chore sometimes.

Fine. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Take this.

Do not stalk your ex.

Do not text your ex.

Do not call your ex.

Your ex can never be your next.

The only person

that matters right now is you.

Workout.

Eat healthy.

Look good and feel good.

Find someone to talk to.

For the first time in my life,

I'm just completely lost.

Speaking of lost

How do you track

someone's location on a phone?

And if I track their location,

will they know I'm tracking their phone?

Ideally, someone who actually listens.

And most importantly,

rule number eight.

Don't forget that those who truly love you

will always have your back.

-Good morning, ma'am.

-Good morning.

Good morning, ma'am, your meeting

with Malaika is confirmed at 11.

Thank you.

Please, Mom, it's so gawdy!

It's Masaba!

We didn't think you'd actually be here!

You look so skinny in real life!

Anyway, I'm a huge fan

and so is Nammo.

She looks at all your designs

and replicates them.

Welcome. If you need anything,

please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks.

Did you hear that, sweetie?

This is called dedication!

Such a big designer

is waiting on customers in her own store.

So humble!

Thank you.

Plus, you're dealing

with a personal crisis.

We read about the divorce.

But don't worry, my dear, you are young!

You'll get your pick!

-Okay.

-Don't worry!

Let's take a photo! We must take a selfie!

-Go stand next to Masaba.

-Sure.

-Go!

-No, ma'am. Thank you. It's okay.

-Thank you so much

-Go quick!

You missed the chance.

What's wrong with you?

You could've taken the picture.

Ma'am, will you go to Alia's

or should I send Shweta?

Send Shweta.

Okay, great, ma'am. Just a reminder

Micky Malhotra has invited you

to the Bombay Biennale Art Fest.

Anything else?

Yes, ma'am. Dhairya sir's office called.

He wants to talk to you

about your new collection.

Whatever, I'm fielding calls, too.

Just ask them to calm down.

I'm aware I need to work

on a new collection. I'll do it.

Sorry, ma'am.

Mr. Dubey,

save me from these investors, please.

You need to send these checks

for the vendors and rent.

Madam,

after all these checks get cleared,

your bank account balance

is going to become extremely low.

The down payment that Vinay Sir

and you made for the house,

can't you get that back?

We're looking for buyers.

Once we find one, we'll get it back.

But, madam, the market

is very volatile these days.

It'll be very difficult to find a buyer.

Would it k*ll you to be positive for once?

You didn't hire me

for my positivity, madam.

Look, everything's going to be fine.

You relax.

Doesn't Katrina have a new movie out?

-You should go watch it.

-Please, madam

I'll take your leave.

Voice message from Dhairya Rana.

Masaba, my office tells me they've been

trying to reach you for two weeks now.

You haven't responded

to their calls, emails, or messages.

What's going on, Masaba? Enough is enough.

I'm afraid you can't avoid this anymore.

There's an investors' meeting

at 6:00 p.m. today.

The details of your new collection

should have reached me by then.

6:00 p.m. Okay?

Irritating.

Hashtag, I'm a fraud.

-What's the rate for the bitter gourd?

-Ma'am, Rs. 40.

Rs. 40? In Delhi, it's Rs. 32!

Madam, you get better vegetables

in Mumbai than Delhi.

You could've fooled me.

Seriously, madam? After marriage,

you've turned into a Delhiite.

Do you call onions

by a different name, too?

What nonsense! I spend as much

time in Bombay as I do in Delhi.

Are you going to start

adding taxes to your rates now?

Fine, madam, for you,

I'll make it Rs. 35 a kilo.

-Should I make it two kilos?

-No.

I'm not paying more than Rs. 32.

Pack it up.

Yeah?

Well, if it isn't the busy Sheela!

You don't even answer my calls anymore.

What, tomorrow?

Do I want to meet Farah Khan?

Oh, my God! Of course!

I don't need to look at my calendar.

I'll be there.

Just tell them I'll be there, okay? Okay.

Thank you so much, Sheela.

Thank you so much. I owe you one.

Okay. Okay, bye! Bye.

Here you go.

Madam?

You argue with me for three rupees

and then you go and meet Farah Khan?

What will I do tomorrow?

-Hey, love!

-Hi!

I was going to call you.

What time should I send the car

to the airport?

You're bringing Masaba as well, right?

A change of environment might do her good.

I was just thinking that

I was just at Punnu aunty's birthday.

Can't I not come for the anniversary?

Of course you have to come!

It's their 50th anniversary.

The whole family's going to be there.

The thing is,

Sheela just called me right now.

Farah Khan wants to meet me tomorrow.

I don't want to miss it, so

I won't be able to come.

Why are you behaving

like a struggling actress at your age?

Please just move to Delhi.

Enjoy the remainder of your life.

When has going to a meeting

ever worked out for you?

No

I'll apologize to everyone

when I visit next week.

Anyway, Punnu aunty

is not going to remember

if I was at the party or not. Right?

So Anyway, I'm home,

getting in the elevator soon.

I'll talk to you later, okay?

Okay, bye.

Tea?

-Tea? At this time?

-Juice?

No, thank you, Padma. I'm fine.

You're tired, I'll get you a beer.

Masaba,

which one of these sarees should I wear?

-Madam, wear that blue one.

-Which one?

-The dark blue one.

-That doesn't suit me anymore.

Then wear the one with the yellow border.

It's nice.

How many times should I wear that one?

I have other sarees, you know.

Masaba, don't you have the earrings

that go with this?

-The ones you borrowed for Anu's party?

-Madam.

Those are in the red pouch

at the bottom of your drawer.

I've been looking for them everywhere!

Mom, you'll look great

in whatever you wear.

Can I please go to my room now?

You can't spare two minutes to talk to us?

You haven't even asked

what I'm picking out a saree for.

Okay. What for, Mom?

Never mind. Go chill in your room.

"Chill"?

Is it even possible

to chill in this house?

The two of you bicker morning and night.

How am I supposed to work

on a new collection like this?

I've had enough.

Sorry, Masaba.

Sorry that we made you breakfast.

Sorry that we got your clothes ironed.

Sorry that we cooked food to suit

all your new-fangled diets every day.

Why don't you throw us in prison?

Clearly, we've committed a crime.

Just slap us with a lawsuit.

If you need a lawyer's number,

I'll give it to--

One second! What?

So this is your number.

Look, I'm really busy right now.

I'm working on the new collection, okay?

Yes, I'm calling to talk about

the collection only, right?

The investors had a meeting

and I had nothing to tell them.

"Nothing to tell them" means what?

Creativity is not like a tap

that I can turn it on when I need it.

It needs time, and mental peace,

and sound state of mind, right?

This isn't a school assignment,

Masaba, this is business.

I know it's a business.

I started it, remember?

What's the point of starting it?

You have to sustain it, no?

If you don't pull up your socks

and get off your high horse,

I'm gonna have to think

of some sort of an alternative.

-One minute. Hello?

-Mom!

Yes, this is Masaba's mother speaking.

Is this a polite time

to badger her about work?

She's tired, barely has time to breathe,

and now you start grilling her!

Call her in the morning

if you want to talk about anything.

Right now she's chilling.

Good night!

Mom, you are unbelievable.

That I am.

Go. Rest. Chill.

We won't disturb you, okay?

Now you can disturb me.

Where are you going? Who are you meeting?

-You want to know?

-Yes.

-Ready?

-Ready.

-I'm going to meet Farah Khan!

-What?

Farah Khan!

Oh, my God, Mom, that's awesome!

But then, this won't do.

-No?

-Come, let me show you what works.

-Come quick!

-What's wrong with this one?

What's this?

Ma'am, grilled chicken,

carrot mash and boiled peas.

I can see that, but why did

you get it now? What's the time?

Ma'am, 1:30 p.m.

2:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. Repeat after me.

-2:00 p.m. to

-10:00 p.m.

I can only eat

between 2:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.

It's called intermittent fasting.

-It's called intermittent

-Fasting.

Correct. Take it back,

bring it at two o'clock.

Okay?

Hello, Pinky? Take it back.

You know, Pinky, you'll just

don't want me to look hot.

Honestly, these assistants

that come as dowry Seriously.

Too good. Four months, Farah, four months!

A body like Kat, and then Kat is

Come in!

Ma'am, Ms. Neena is here.

Should I send her in?

If there's a meeting scheduled,

then you need to send her in, right?

Or should I talk to her

over a walkie-talkie?

No, right? Please send her in.

-Okay.

-Seriously, Pinky.

-Hi!

-Hi, Neena!

-Hi, Farah.

-How are you? How nice you're looking!

-Thank you, thank you.

-So nice to see you.

You've gotten so skinny! Intermittent?

No, just good old home-cooked food.

Home-cooked food.

Come, please sit.

-You know, I read in Pinkvilla--

-Pinkvilla?

Yes, about you making

the female version of Shaukeen.

-Yeah! Isn't it a fab idea?

-Very nice idea.

Three nymphomaniac women

and one cute guy!

-I think it's going to be a super-hit.

-Who's the actor?

Vicky.

-Vicky Kaushal?

-Yeah, the ladies love him!

So even I can be an aunty,

and act like a nympho.

Why not? I've signed Kiron for one role.

-But there are three women, so

-Right, right.

And for the other two,

I'm fleshing out the characters, you know?

-But, actually, you'll be perfect!

-Yeah?

Yeah! I mean, your age is appropriate,

-and you're looking just fab.

-Thanks, thanks.

Okay, so here's what I'll do.

Give me some time

and I'll see how I can mold

the character around you.

Here's a recent photo-sh**t that I did--

Neena. You're a legend.

You're an icon.

I don't need to see your pictures!

Done. It's a done deal.

Really! I can't believe this,

I really wanted to work with you.

Me, too! I'll call you, I promise.

As soon as I'm finished.

I'm going to push you in.

-Okay! Yeah.

-I'll call you. Looking forward.

-Thank you so much!

-Not at all. Lovely.

Yeah. Okay.

-And looking great.

-Thanks.

-Keto?

-Home-cooked food.

"Home-cooked food."

When will it be 2:00 p.m.?

When will my food come?

Pinky!

And, so, recently,

I've decided to become fit.

So I've joined

all these different kinds of workouts.

Like Zumba, which is like a party

for people that don't have friends

or self-esteem.

And kickboxing.

Or as they call it in Delhi, foreplay.

Just joking.

They don't have foreplay in Delhi.

Thank you, you've been a great audience!

-That was awesome, dude!

-Thank you.

-Are you available on the 16th?

-Yeah.

Okay, great. So, my team

will be in touch with you, okay?

-All right. Thank you.

-Bye.

Okay, who's next? Malad's Jay-Z?

-Please begin.

-Yo, cool! I'm ready, man.

Hello, looking wow!

-Thank you.

-Sit.

Trying to figure some entertainment

for opening night.

I thought we'll do something lively.

It's a question

of my family's pride, after all.

Does your dear papa

know what you're planning?

Turning their respectable cafe

into a dance bar, right?

You know that any bar I go to

becomes a dance bar.

When is this wrapping up?

We can't be late for the art show.

Babe

Gia! Do not "babe" me, you are coming.

But there are three to four people

still waiting, it's going to take time.

Can't you do this later?

I need you there today!

You know I'm meeting

Micky and the g*ng after the separation.

They'll swoop in on me like vultures!

Come. I need you there.

I wish, really, but I genuinely

can't ditch work like that.

Anyway, when you asked me yesterday,

I told you it might be iffy, no?

You got this. What's the big deal anyway?

Micky and all are so fake.

Just go fake a smile and act.

I call bullshit on your

"I don't want to ditch my work."

You just wanna seduce

that high-rated gabru, don't you?

High rated

Possibly,

but I genuinely have a lot of work.

My lioness, you can do this!

Okay, flash me your best fake smile!

Babe

You look fab! Who are you wearing?

I can't say.

-Bye.

-Bye.

Great.

This piece is my mother.

Divine.

Unexplainable.

Female.

This is stunning!

Shibani!

You never told us you had such a gift!

Well

My mother came to me in my dreams,

in this form

and asked to be birthed through my art.

k*ll me. k*ll me now.

Mother births daughter.

Daughter births mother.

It's beautiful.

It's a circle of life!

Masu!

Is this a hologram?

Or are you really here?

I'm really here.

Why am I really here?

And how lovely you look, honey.

Who's doing your hair nowadays?

Well, same person as always.

Divorce is a good look on you, honey.

There it is.

Micky

You waited a whole 15 seconds

before bringing that up.

Very impressive.

You know I love you, come here.

-Masaba!

-Shibani.

It means so much to me that you came

especially after this harrowing time

that you're having.

And to buy my art.

To buy?

Wait, I thought this was an exhibit.

But, yay!

I get to buy an original Shibani Dandekar!

Yes but be quick!

It's selling out fast.

Fab!

I'm buying the "mother" one.

Shibani, is this symbolic of your cat?

Actually, this is my cat. It's her tail.

I kept it with me after she left us.

And what inspires you, Shibani?

Well, a beer can, a plant, a tumbler.

It's all art in my eyes.

Like this iron!

In fact, Masaba,

this is perfect for your store.

I mean, you work with clothes!

Doesn't this really kind of speak to you?

What do you think it's saying?

Well, I think it's very interesting.

It's, you know, almost symbolic of

the behind-the-scenes.

Fake it, fake it, fake it.

Well, like, the heat

and the steam

-Yes. That's right. The steam. The heat.

-Yeah.

It's all a metaphor for sex.

I can't believe she got it.

Of course I got it. I mean

The phallic nature of the iron

is just undeniable.

Interesting.

Well, I'll let you spend

some time with him.

-Him?

-The iron.

Be right back.

I just needed to understand.

f*ck

Come on, girls. Time for a toast to Sharda

for finally becoming a published author.

-Cheers!

-Congratulations!

-Thank you, guys.

-Cheers.

Without your support,

I wouldn't have pulled it off.

Here's to Healing is Appealing.

-Yeah!

-Cheers!

Girls, I also have some good news.

Tell.

Aditi's expecting her second.

-That's great! Congratulations!

-Oh, my God.

-She's the sexiest grandma around, right?

-Yeah.

Actually, she can have a baby of her own.

She looks so young.

My God!

First let me find a man,

then I'll think about a child.

Very nice.

By the way, I also have some good news.

-Tell!

-Should I spill the beans or not?

-Come on!

-Neena, come on!

Today, I met Farah Khan.

Finally!

-Yes!

-Awesome!

-And then?

-We were just talking about Farah.

Apparently, she's cast herself

in her next film!

-Really.

-God!

Seriously?

-What?

-Really?

She's weaseled her way back into acting?

But that movie has three roles

Okay.

But Kiron and Sunaina Goel

have already been cast, right?

This Sunaina Goel is in every second film.

Yeah.

God alone knows why.

So, Neena, you were saying about Farah?

Yeah.

Yeah, she was talking

about judging some reality show.

I said I would think about it.

-What's to think?

-Just do it!

-Yeah. Just go for it.

-Yeah.

-Yes, come on.

-Cheers. Cheers.

-Cheers to all of us.

-Where is this waiter?

Excuse me! Yeah.

Raju!

Raju!

Hello, madam.

Leave that thing there.

If you're lucky, it'll slip and fall off.

Smartass.

It takes a very refined eye

to appreciate art.

Refined eye?

You're right. That's what I don't have.

Few colors splashed on an iron

is what passes for art these days.

Look, you just don't get it, okay?

I mean, it's

You're right. It's a piece of sh*t.

Mr. Dubey is going to k*ll me.

Do you know I spent

a lakh and a half on that sh*t?

What are you saying?

A lakh and a half on that?

She's a friend of mine.

I had to support her.

Madam, if it goes on like this,

you'll be the one in need of support.

It's already come to that.

That's the cheapest piece

that I could find.

If only you could've looked

at my paintings with the same enthusiasm.

Even the most expensive one

is just Rs. 12,000.

You're an artist, too?

I'm not an artist "too."

I'm the only artist here, period.

As far as your friend goes,

"con artist" is more apt.

Don't you agree?

So he is arrogant as well.

No, I think should go.

My driver is supposed to pick me up.

I don't know where he is.

His phone's busy, too.

Let's do one thing. I'll drop you.

Where do you stay?

That escalated quickly.

Come along. I don't bite.

Should I go with him?

-Ma'am, sorry.

-Where were you?

Shalu was in the mood for a fight.

She called me repeatedly.

-Ma'am, does this iron need to be fixed?

-Let's go.

-Should I keep it in the boot?

-Let's just go.

Excuse me, sir.

Keep it on the front seat

with the seat belt on. It's precious.

Hand it over to madam

as soon as you get there.

I should have gone with him.

God!

Mom, just look at the abomination

I had to buy!

When did you meet Manav?

During my fashion show in London,

in February.

I just had lunch with him.

What's the big deal?

Big deal?

He was so horrible to you

when you met him!

Mom, just give it to me.

It's none of your business.

No! It is my business!

If he's the cause of your divorce,

then it is my business.

Were you cheating on Vinay?

Mom, whatever happened between Vinay

and I, Manav had nothing to do with it!

Then why have you kept his photo?

Does Vinay know about this?

That time you were married, right?

God, Mom!

I'm a grown woman now, please!

I can do whatever I want

and meet whoever I want! Okay?

I won't accept all this in my house.

Your house?

You're right, this is your house.

It's not really my house.

I can't sleep here in peace.

I can't breathe here.

I can't do anything here.

-I should just move out.

-Move out?

Have you ever lived alone?

First, you lived with me.

Then you lived with your husband.

Now you'll live by yourself. Okay!

Move out!

How would I have lived alone?

Did you ever let me?

I categorically told you that

Vinay and I wanted to live by ourselves.

You were the one who pushed us

to get married!

All because you didn't want me

to become like you!

So, your divorce is also my fault?

Not at all. It's my fault, Mom.

It's my fault that I listened to you.

And it's my fault that I stuck it out

in marriage so that you would be happy.

And it's my fault that I came back

to stay with you. Right?

You know what, Mom?

I'm done doing things for you.

I wanna do something for myself now.

So do it. Who's stopping you?

But don't come crying to me

afterwards if anything goes wrong.

-Okay. I'll leave now.

-Sure.

-Fine, bye!

-Okay, bye!

Masaba!

Masaba!