05x01 - Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] In a world of chaos,
some things never change…

[distorted] that good will always win…

You stay the f*ck back
or I'll laser you, g*dd*mn it!

[distorted] …that love conquers all…

I'm your father, not him.

- Ryan!
- [distorted] …and that heroes

will-will answer the call to protect…

- [yells]
- [grunting]

- [groans]
- [screeching]

I want to flip A-Train. He's right there.

He's ready.

[A-Train] When I carried your a*s
to the ER, that felt better

than anything
that I'd ever done at Vought.

[Butcher] The answer to all our prayers.

A virus that kills Supes.

[Frenchie] Somebody's been running tests.

- [gasping]
- [Sameer] To make the virus

strong enough to k*ll Homelander

would evolve it
into something super lethal.

[Kessler] A global f*cking pandemic.

What's a little genocide between friends?

Just f*ck off and let me die in peace,
would you?

- The Seven is getting even stronger.
- [cheering]

Put your hands together for Firecracker!

I am not sexually attracted to you.

It's about loyalty.

- [gasps]
- [Firecracker] I'd do anything for you.

And Sister Sage!

[A-Train] She's the world's
smartest person.

Fascist!

The people will tear it apart themselves.

Then you get to swoop in…

- Like Caesar.
- Like Caesar.

[Homelander] Once he's in office,

we need to invoke the 25th Amendment.

Who's handling all this?

- I f*cking am.
- [Hughie] When Homelander

chucks all the Starlighters
into internment camps,

you're cool with that?

You didn't know about the camps.

You're gonna help us take down Vought
and Homelander.

No deals.

[screaming]

Neuman would have been a sh*t patsy.

So I went another way.

Speaker of the House Calhoun.

He's next in line to be president.

He'd like to pledge his allegiance to you.

[Homelander] Now that we have
full legal authority…

- No!
- …a veritable army of superheroes

will be called upon

to rout these traitors from our government
and from our streets.

America will be safe again.

And to the Starlighters,

I'm coming for you. Because today

a new age of superheroes begins.

- [Calhoun] You were my first call.
- [Homelander] You got to be

f*cking kidding me.
This whole time.

[kettle whistling]

[feet stomping rhythmically]

["Battle Hymn of the Republic" playing]

- [cheering]
- Yeah! Whoo!

[audience] USA! USA! USA!

USA! USA! USA! USA!

- Thank you.
- USA!

- Thank you!
- [music stops]

Thank you and welcome

to the Vought International
Annual Meeting of Shareholders.

[cheering]

[soft chatter]

[stage manager] Okay.
Give me my Firecrackers.

That's places, ladies, places.

Let's go, let's go.

Hop to it. Let's go. Come on.

Stay in line. Keep it tight.

Copy. I've got them heading
to the wings now.

Front row, you're on the spike marks.

Second row, right behind them.

- [mysterious music playing]
- [stage manager continues indistinctly]

[audience reacting in distance]

[Homelander] Wasn't that long ago

we were lost in the darkness.

Starlighters running wild.

Starlight herself
on a vicious m*rder spree.

But we said no.

We said, "Enough."

We said, "Not in America."

And together we soared

into a new golden dawn!

[cheering]

[mysterious music playing]

[door creaking]

[Homelander] Our superheroes are now
the ranking law enforcement officers…

Keep going.

Stop!

We designated the Starlighters

- a t*rror1st organization.
- [cheering]

Other heroes are proudly serving
in the armed forces

thanks to the new chairman
of the Joint Chiefs, General Mayhem!

- [grunting]
- Net income

is up 21%.

- [grunting]
- G-Men:

Days Past from the Future has grossed over

- two billion.
- [grunting]

And do not get me started
on the EBITDA margins.

- [groaning]
- But all of this

pales in comparison to the most

important truth,

that this is

a safer,

more God-fearing nation!

- [cracking]
- [cheering, applause]

- Our nation!
- [cheering]

- Yes!
- [grunts]

Yes!

Despite what that little b*tch Starlight
tried to do

- at our southern border…
- [Spencer] Got it!

…is there no depth
to what that little who…

Homelander and Queen Maeve…

my God, they're leaving us.

- [Maeve] Take these two!
- [Homelander] Whoa, no.

- [Maeve] Just these two! Please!
- [Homelander] No!

What? So they can tell the world that
we left the rest of them to f*cking die?

[Maeve] Come on!

[Homelander] No, Maeve.
No. You stay back.

All of you, stay back!

You stay the f*ck back

or I'll laser you, g*dd*mn it!

I'll laser every f*cking one of you!

[beeps]

[tense string music playing]

[high-pitched ringing]

[audience member clears throat]

This was an AI-generated
disinformation campaign, period.

And the American people have the good
sense to call out a lie when they see…

[Homelander] Stay back! Or I'll laser

- every f*cking one of you!
- [dance music playing]

[echoing] ♪ Stay back ♪

♪ I'll laser every fu… ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

the vice president of the United States.

Tough day.

Sad day.

When a great American like Homelander
is attacked with lies.

This so-called Flight 37 video
is an obvious deepfake

put out by Marxist Starlighters.

- Let's open it up.
- [clamoring]

Chris Hayes.

Vice President Barrett…

Look, Chris,

I know exactly what you're thinking.
Literally.

And, no, just because I happen to be
a super-abled American

does not compromise my objectivity
or allegiance to the U.S. of A.

That is exactly the kind
of Super-phobic question

that kept me in the closet for so long.

Honestly,

do better?

What about your so-called Freedom Camps

for the Starlighter dissidents?

More clickbait.

I mean, who doesn't love freedom?

- And camp?
- [Sage] We knew

this would happen sooner or later.

We've been ready.

In the last 24 hours,

we have flooded the zone
with so much disinformation,

people can't tell their cl*t
from their collarbone.

The share price is only down half a point.

Besides that, damage is minimal.

What's this?

That is a Gutenberg Bible.

Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.

You're really on top of the world, huh?

Peter Thiel,

the Obamas calling you for advice.

Everyone loves you.

You can't really think I care.

Maybe you didn't used to.

It's all for you.

Higher the share price,
happier the billionaires,

the more you get to do
whatever the f*ck you want to do.

Are you aware that NNC
is calling me a m*rder*r?

Saying that maybe…

…I even did something to, uh…

…my son.

No. Everyone knows that Ryan is…

[sighs]

Sorry. That he is at boarding school.

In Svalbard.

That story's holding.

- [chuckles] We're good.
- Mm.

And how-how about you, Sage?

Are you…

- …good?
- I'm fine.

You're not distracted at all?

After Thomas Godolkin dumped you.

You're not numbing the heartache

by stabbing your brain?

- No.
- Then just tell me.

How did Starlight get in the building?

[shudders, exhales]

I was humiliated!

As if people don't hate me enough!

Your numbers are north of 96.

Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure,

but millions of them
are still Starlighters in their hearts.

Where it counts.

Have you seen the memes?

Have you seen the memes about me?

Posting them…

should be a crime.

Yes. But we can't go…

Oh, you're serious.

Uh, sir. [chuckles]

Ongoing conflict is useful to us.

- It keeps people afraid.
- Shut up.

- Which is exactly what we…
- No, no, no, no, no, no!

You promised me Caesar.

He was stabbed by his best friends.

Yeah, well, I can relate to that.

But I need people to be devoted.

To me.

May I speak freely?

Give it a shot.

I told you, no matter
how much power you amass,

it will not make you happy.

You know what's gonna make me happy?

I think I'll be happy when Starlight

and William Butcher are corpses.

[sniffs]

I want it leaked

that, in three days,

we are going to execute
Hugh Campbell, Milk,

and the…

F-French one.

That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher.

And then I will take care of this

once and for all.

[inhales sharply] Consider it done, sir.

[tense music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[♪ Téléphone sing "Hygiaphone"]

[singing in French]

[grunts]

You mind being more careful?

Désolé.

Merci à toi, petit Hughie.

Thank you.

Also,

tales of Annie's exploits.

Enjoy.

[sniffs]

- [prisoners shouting]
- [blows landing]

[groans]

[grunting]

- [blows landing]
- [prisoners shouting]

Put it on my friend.

[grunting]

[yells]

[grunting]

[cheering]

[fighter coughing]

Luis.

La bebida.

[quietly] Annie got
the Flight 37 video out.

- Huh.
- [shouting in distance]

"Huh"?

That's all you have to say?

- [shouting in distance]
- [blows landing]

[man crying]

- [grunts]
- [crying]

No!

- [groans]
- [panting]

[tense music playing]

[chuckling]

[grunts]

[knocking]

Hello, Dad.

Billy.

[door closes]

You are a wanted man.

What are you doing here?

On a bit of a layover.

Thought I'd pop in,

say hello to Lenny and Mum.

Proof there's no God, innit?

She's dead,

and, here you are,

thriving with a*s cancer.

Mm.

Does it hurt when you take a sh*t?

f*cking hope so.

I didn't know how to get hold of you
about the funeral.

I noticed an empty spot next to them
at the churchyard.

You don't think
that's where you're going, do you?

I paid for it.

People like you and me

don't get to spend eternity
with the likes of them.

That what you come here for?

t*rture an old man, eh?

Where did you find that?

In the attic.

Reminded me of him.

Five f*cking weeks
Lenny practiced that rings trick.

I still remember
the look on his face when he won.

So f*cking chuffed.

And then he come home.

And you called him a little poof.

Well…

never looked at this again, did he?

Why are you here?

Huh?

[somber music playing]

There's no need to get angry.

Oh, I ain't angry.

I'm bleeding grateful.

All the times you knocked
the sh*t out of me,

gave me the belt or whatever…

…made me who I am.

Made me just like you.

I'll show you.

Son, please.

I know.

I ain't got long to go.

[chuckles] Be a waste-waste of time.

- Mm.
- I know.

But it'll give me a good f*cking laugh

just to hear you scream.

It…

it ain't gonna change nothing.

Who says…

I want to change?

[cries]

[whimpering]

[soft chatter]

What's the matter with you?

- What?
- Your heart's pounding.

[heart beating rapidly]

Are you scared?

No. I-I just love being at work.

- It's, um… it's exciting.
- Room temperature, like you like.

[heart beating rapidly]

Have a good show.

[bell rings]

I want an 8:00 at Jean-Georges.

Tell 'em it's for me.

Move that Elon interview to Thursday.

And tell Jerry I said, "f*ck off."

If he wants to trim the budget,
how about going after a show

that isn't his biggest f*cking hit?

[inhales deeply]

[exhales]

Howdy there, boss.

Don't you look dashing today.

My whole life

has been dedicated to saving these people.

And yet their hearts
are fluttering like…

f*cking rabbits.

Wh-Why?

What are they hiding?

Oh, they ain't hiding nothing.

They just look up to you, is all.

[heart beating erratically]

[groans]

Meanwhile, your heart's wheezing away
like it's made of ham and cigarettes.

Sir, I'm so, so sorry.

I want to be making milk, I do,
more than anything, but…

…them pills just janked up my ticker
something awful.

[shudders]

They were k*lling me.

How'd you catch 'em red-handed?

Our enemies have started using
bleeding-edge technologies.

- Mm.
- Like "AI."

Which means "artificial intelligence."

So Starlight did use that dang-fangled AI.

First she went and deepfaked

- Thomas Godolkin himself.
- [chuckling]

Yeah, but did anyone
actually believe that?

I mean, how stupid
does she think we all are?

To cover up her slaughter

of innocent young heroes at God U.

Then she went and AI'd this so-called

Flight 37 video. [laughs]

Oh, that's sloppy work.

If we freeze it.

Here. Yeah.

[Firecracker laughs]

I mean, last I checked,
I do not have seven fingers

- on one hand.
- Now,

isn't that what they refer to
as the uncanny valley?

Yes, it is.

- [engines rumbling in distance]
- [indistinct shouting]

[siren wailing in distance]

[inhales]

Those smell amazing.

Someone I love very much
taught me how to make them.

[creaking]

[dogs barking]

[tense music playing]

Take these to your Mom, OK?

[door opens]

[leaves rustling in wind]

- [grunting]
- [shattering]

[grunting]

Oi.

[grunts] Knock it off.

I ain't here for you, you dozy bint.

They're after Frenchie.

Vought's gonna do him,

Hughie, and M in 72 hours.

[lighter flicks]

Look,

I know you don't trust me.

But Frenchie's a dead man.

We ain't got time to f*ck about.

I got a CIA Gulfstream

gassing up at Plaridel.

Wheels up in an hour.

- [cheery melody plays]
- [announcer] Smile, campers.

It's a new day and a new chance

to learn the true meaning of freedom.

Ivy, you can't talk like that.

Hughie, none of the FBSA people
are ever getting out.

It's hopeless.

Look, I should be the last guy
who has any hope.

I've been strangled by Ezekiel,
I've been hunted by Noir,

chased by sharks, inside of a whale,

shot at by Russians,
almost blown up at Herogasm

and lasered at Vought on Ice.

Look, the point is…

Oh, and one time,
I had to sit naked on a chocolate cake.

It's a long story. The point is,

by all sane logic, I should be dead

or crazy or both.

Then, why aren't you?

'Cause if you lose hope in here,
you're not gonna make it.

[guard] Hey, get down!

- [prisoner] f*ck you!
- Jesus.

Hey! Get down!

Get the f*ck down.

- [prisoner] I said, "f*ck you!"
- Come down right now.

[Hughie] Hey! Hey!

- [people screaming]
- Jesus!

[guard] Stay in line!

- Do not move!
- [atmospheric music playing]

[guard] Get inside!

[Hughie] See?

He gave up.

What about you?

[prisoner] For God's sakes…

[sighs]

[buzzer sounds]

[Deep] b*tches like Starlight
make you weak.

That's why I cut out all women.

No love, no sex, no problems.

And literally, bro?

I have never felt manlier.

Think about this. Okay.

Romance, flowers,

cuddling, kissing.

That's beta male sh*t, bro.

That's super g*y.

Noir, am I right?

[soundboard voice] P-P-P-Preach!

Yes. And you know what?

As for Starlight's
little AI video stunt she did?

Whatever that baby-murdering
three-out-of-ten

thought she was gonna do, it didn't work.

[Butcher] Oh, bollocks.

Half a bottle of rum and you're a solid
five-out-of-ten any day of the week.

What the f*ck are you doing here?

Kimiko?

[laughs]

Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily,
like hugging a McRib.

Wait, did you… did you just…

How?

f*cking speech therapy
and f*cking therapy therapy

and so much f*cking TikTok.

Well, you sure sound
like you're on TikTok.



'Cause all you say is,
"Oi, oi, oi, c**t, c**t, c**t."

I liked her better with her mouth shut.

- Where have you been?
- [Kimiko] Vought got tired of me

ripping off their guards' faces,
so they deported me to Manila.

I tried to sneak back once,
in the wheel well of a 747,

but I fell out at 10,000 feet.

Oh, man, that took a hot minute to regrow.

They found my as*h*le, like, a mile away.

- How did you find me?
- [Butcher] Oh,

ways and means, luv.

- How many men you down?
- How many does it look like?

It's all right, luv.

Nothing to be scared of.

I've seen what your chest
full of m*rder dicks can do.

So, are you still dying, hopefully?

No, hearty and hale.

See, that's the mistake most people make,
they try to fight the cancer.

- Hmm.
- Nice one, putting Flight 37 out there.

Was it? It didn't move the needle an inch.

Oh, course it did.

Homelander's fuming.

He's gonna execute Hughie, Frenchie,

and M in about 36 hours.

Course, it's a trap.

The question is what else
are we gonna do 'sides walk into it?

Why haven't you tried
to spring them before?

Mm.

You want Frenchie.

You're still working on the virus,
and you want his help.

The virus that'll k*ll
Annie and me and you now?

And Homelander.

[dark music playing]

Now, you gonna help us save
the Boys or not?

Saw the signal.

So, we're doing broad daylight now?

[Mother's Milk] We…

are getting ex*cuted.

- What?
- C'est vrai.

In 36 hours, we…

They're finally f*cking doing it.
They're trying to draw out Annie.

The question du jour is, why now?

[toilet flushes]

[whispers] The Flight 37 video.

[Mother's Milk] "Eye for an eye"
type sh*t.

They lure Annie and whoever she brings
with her in, and then they do her in.

f*ck that.
We're getting out of here first.

[laughs]

[Hughie] We're gonna need
a lot more Molotovs,

so let's get going.

- [Annie sighs]
- [Kimiko] How did you get these?

Flyby. I took it myself.

Wait, you've known where the guys are
this whole time?

That makes me feel angry and want
to tit-slap you, but then hug you.

So, how come you didn't spring them, then?

Honestly? They've been safer there.

It's this one.

[Butcher grumbles] Getting in
won't be easy.

The perimeter's just open space.

- That's what I'm telling you.
- I know a bloke.

I mean, he's a f*cking worm,
but he might be able to help.

But even if I can get us in,
how the f*ck we gonna get out?

Leave that to me.

I have someone we can call.

All right, then.

[whimsical music playing]

You like croissants?

Uh, doy. Why?

[panicked chatter over video]

[Maeve] Take these two.

- [Homelander] No, no.
- Just these two. Please.

- [Homelander] What? So they can tell…
- [Deep] Homelander?

- [door closes]
- Hey, you wanted to see us?

Or should we come back?

[Homelander] No, Maeve. No. You stay back.

All of you, stay back.
You stay the f*ck back…

Can you believe the gall?

Cooking up these lies about me?

Tarnishing my good name

with fake garbage?

Right.

Oh, right. Yes. Totally, sir. I know.

Starlight.

Spewing this filth.

What a f*cking lightweight.

I mean, what can she even do,

besides flash
her little high beams at you?

[exhales] Am I right?

- Always, sir.
- So, then,

why'd you let her get away?

Don't you look at him like that.

- Where the f*ck were you?
- I was there.

Keeping eyes on the,
on the other side of the stage.

Right?

- Bro.
- [sighs] It's been a year.

A full lap of the sun.

And you haven't found A-Train.

Or Butcher.

Or Starlight.

[laughs] It's almost as if
you're f*cking up on purpose.

I mean, I know you're not.
That would be suicidal.

[gasps]

You know… [exhales]

…I had a good chat with Gavin,
our stage manager.

And… and it turns out,

he betrayed me.

He liked a couple of Starlight posts
in the past.

And a horrible meme about me.

It really makes me wonder,

who else is a traitor
hiding in plain sight?

Sir, you can check my history.
I've never liked one of her shitty posts.

Here, just check it. Look.

That won't be necessary, but, gentlemen…

[dark music playing]

…do your f*cking jobs.

Yes, sir.

[door opens]

- [sighs]
- [door closes]

Bro, what the hell?
You could have had my back in there.

[sighs] Bro, you're not the real Noir.

Okay? You can talk.

Look, I get Method. Okay?
I f*ck with Stella Adler.

I just shot Honey Boy 2 with Shia.
We literally never broke character.

Hey. But enough's enough.

Bro!

- I always thought I'd stay single.
- [Firecracker] Mm-hmm.

But you know what they say.
How do you make God laugh?

- Make a plan.
- [laughs] Ain't that the truth?

So, there I was
at the National Prayer Breakfast,

and I look across the table, and it was…

[laughs softly]

It was like the Lord smiled upon us.

Talk about a match made in heaven.

- Amen.
- Amen.

Oh Father himself.

Head pastor, president and CEO
of Samaritan's Embrace Ministries,

after Ezekiel's untimely m*rder.

- God rest his soul.
- Amen.

You two are just
a super-abled union for the ages.

We share the belief
in a dream of a Christian nation.

Think that's why I fell for her so fast.

[both] For me, it was love…

- at first sight. Oh, come on, now.
- …at first sight. See, I knew

- he was gonna say that.
- [laughter]

- Try marrying a mind reader.
- Oh.

Powerful.

Now, how about we switch gears?

Like y'all's initiative to abolish D.E.I.?

Now, it's funny how those
three little letters are all in "devil."

People don't need a handout.

It's r*cist to give people a leg up
based on skin color.

- Isn't white a color, too?
- [Sage] Let's cut.

Excuse me, but I'm the one who calls cut.

- Cut.
- Sage.

My sister in Christ.

Um, no.

I don't believe in your magic sky ghost
or his baby sky ghost.

I need the vice president.

Give us the room.

f*ck.

[Sage] How is married life?

The power of Christ
compel you to f*ck him?

b*tch, your hole still smells like Deep.

- The Great Barrier Queef.
- [laughs]

Touchy. Hey, it's not my fault

the American people wouldn't accept
a single cat lady as VP.

Maybe. But still, I don't see why
I had to put Tigger down.

- It was the patriotic thing to do.
- Can we hurry this along?

- I'm about to k*ll D.E.I.
- Uh, not today, you're not.

He wants more Starlighters arrested.

But everyone who smashed a window

or held a can of spray paint
is already at camp.

Now it's anyone who registered
as a Starlighter

or posted defamatory things
about Homelander.

Cyberterrorists are t*rrorists, too.

- True. True.
- Mm-hmm.

It's just that we've already
purged the CIA,

DOJ, FBI, FTC, CDC,

EPA, DHS, HHS and USPS,

we deported the nation's
nannies and gardeners,

we arrested Chappell Roan
and Tyler, the Creator

and they cancelled Coachella, but now

he wants to detain thousands
of American citizens?

You know, I couldn't help but notice,

you registered "BarrettForPresident"
dot com, net and org.

- It's exploratory.
- You're a Supe.

We made you f*cking vice president.

As long as you stay useful,

don't worry, everything'll come up Ashley.

Yeah. Good talk.

[dark music playing]

[exhales]

[Worm] "Reacher, massive,

enters the motel.

Woman: You're huge.

Reacher: You know what
they say about huge guys.

They have huge c*ck."

[knocking on door]

Jesus f*cking Christ.

- Are you f*cking crazy? Get in here.
- Hello, Worm.

Yeah, hi. You're, like,
America's literal most wanted.

Did anyone see you come in here?

- No.
- A-Are you sure?

Because I did a deep dive
on surveillance tech

for an SVU spec,
and that sh*t is everywhere now.

f*cking hell, this is a bit of a step down
from that brownstone you had, innit?

[Worm] Yeah, it's not my fault
there was a contraction

in the TV business.

Listen, whatever you want, I…

I'm not interested.

[Butcher] Come off it, mate.

- You ain't even heard the pitch yet.
- Pass.

Well told…

Whatever. Just f*cking go.

Okay? You don't have anything
on me anymore.

Well, I still got them
creepy f*cking texts you sent, don't I?

Miranda Cosgrove was 19 at the time.

And I don't even work there anymore.

Vought Studios replaced
all their writers with AI.

And yes, the audience scores
went way up on Rotty T's,

but it isn't art, okay?

It just isn't.

Uh-uh-uh.

You'll ruin your appetite.

That's right.

I came here for an ex-Supe
with a certain set of skills.

I need us a tunnel dug.

You do that, and you can stick it
to Vought for putting you out to pasture.

H-How does digging a tunnel f*ck Vought?

You do the tunnel, I'll do the f*cking.

Twenty miles out of Rochester.

- Be there.
- Rochester?

Oh, Rochester's got that Honeoye soil.

f*cking delicious.

[door opens]

You need a shower.
You smell like a Wingstop bathroom.

Uh, thanks?

Was that bad? Sorry.

Turns out, talking to people's hard.

[Annie] Took you long enough.

Slowing down in your old age?

[laughs] f*ck you, JonBenét.

You guys are friends?

You talk?

- Mm-hmm.
- [drink pouring]

Reggie's been helping us out for a while.

- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

Where is everybody?

I heard about the Pittsburgh raid
last month.

- Mm.
- Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?

Yeah, they're scoring a few wins,
but not nearly enough.

So, what's with the 911?

[Annie] Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie

are going to be ex*cuted tomorrow,

so we need your help to break them out.

Of a Vought prison camp?

- You're f*cking crazy.
- Listen, you don't have to fight, okay?

We just need you to run them
to the extraction point.

- It's easy.
- Easy. Right.

You know Homelander's gonna be waiting.

I can't.

[Annie] We know how to k*ll him, okay?

- But we need Frenchie to do it.
- Great. Well,

good luck with that.

Hey, are you gonna keep running forever?

I mean, if we're gonna really
take him out, we need your help.

So, what, I'm just supposed to join
this little f*cking Supergroup?

I mean, we are down one as*h*le, so…

yeah, maybe.

- No.
- Why not?

I said I can't.

I know you're scared…

No, I'm not f*cking scared.

I got a family to protect.

[sighs]

I can't.

I get it. I do.

Me, too.

Keep them safe.

- [sighs] We shouldn't have let him go.
- No.

Homelander f*cked him up.

f*cked me up, too.

We're gonna need an exit plan B.

All right, so we hit the east gate.

Oui, petit Hughie,
when the guards change shift.

[Hughie] And we go at dawn.

- We've been through this.
- [Hughie] I know.

I just want to go over it a few more times
just so I can get it in my head.

Hughie. Take a f*cking drink, will you?

No, thanks.

Mon ami?

[mutters] You know I quit.

Leave it up to you to have your sh*t
the tightest you've ever had it

- in a f*cking internment camp.
- Yeah, what about you?

Have you been eating
the fresh produce I smuggle in?

Moonshine's got corn in it.

Hey.

Don't worry.

Annie will be fine. She's strong.

- [toilet flushes]
- Kimiko, too.

[Mother's Milk laughs]

Y'all m*therf*ckers are trippin'.

Y'all don't know what the f*ck's
going on with them.

Hey, you don't even know
where Kimiko's at.

[Hughie] What, so you don't think
you're gonna see

Janine and Monique again?

- Is that it?
- What I know is, is that

they're a sh*t ton safer without me
making a mess out of their lives.

M.M., you're the strongest guy I know.

We've been in tougher spots than this.

You know, I did two tours
in the 3/8 in Farah Province.

The sh*t I saw would f*ck you up.

And even that was Emily in Paris

compared to the sh*t
that we looking at here.

And even if we make it out of here,
we ain't surviving this f*cking w*r.

We are dead men walking.

Chin-chin, m*therf*ckers.

- We need more resin.
- Yeah.

Got some more hidden
in the barracks walls.

You want to…?

[distant shouting]

- [cheery melody plays]
- [announcer] Attention, campers.

Tonight's screening will be
Dawn of the Seven.

Tomorrow's screening will also be
Dawn of the Seven.

[dark music playing]

"Well, Annie, today marks two months.

It's a little insane how much I miss you.

I've been having trouble eating.

Every day, I see people giving up,
but not me,

because I have you."

It's very, very sweet.

They were innocent.

Oh.

Well, I'd hardly call them innocent.

They lied to me. Played dumb

about your little stash in the wall there.

We've known about that
for quite some time.

But I just wanted to give you
a little hope.

You're not the one
who gave it to me, as*h*le.

Ooh. I like Internment Camp Hughie.

- She's zesty.
- f*ck you.

Do it.

- What?
- k*ll me.

Not until we flush out
Butcher and Starlight.

You think they're dumb enough
to just walk right into your trap?

Let's not insult each other.
We both know they're coming.

Do you remember when we first met?

- How could I forget?
- Believe festival.

I tried to cleanse your soul.

I remember thinking… [sighs]

"Why him?"

What does Starlight see
in this gangly simp

that reeks of fear
and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo?

You know, William and Victoria Neuman
love you, too.

I mean, I get it from your perspective.

You're punching up. Good for you.

But why are they so hopelessly devoted

to such staggering mediocrity?

Why would Starlight and Butcher

piss away their lives

to try and rescue you?

Because I'd do it for them.

[seabirds squawking]

f*ck are you doing, as*h*le?

Thought I asked you

to swing through Austin
and pick us up some Franklins.

- Something came up.
- [sighs]

It's all bien, baby bro.

I got some rib eyes in the fridge.

Thanks.

Arana made your favorite corn salad.

Oh, my bad, uh…

salade le maïs.

I think that's it.

I've been slacking on my Duolingo.

You ain't got to do that, bro.

What?

I mean, come on, it's been, like,
a year and some change now

and you still acting like
this is some chill family vacation?

Instead of on the run.

- It's fine.
- You're a shitty liar.

[laughs softly]

I know I f*cked you over.

So, please,

stop trying to make me
feel better about it.

You remember when we got into it,
at the park that day?

And I told you that you had
never really saved anyone.

- You were right.
- Not anymore.

I'm still breathing, ain't I?

And Arana, your nephews.

I mean, yeah,
the moving around constantly?

It's a pain in the a*s.

But it's worth it,

to get to see you like this.

Mom would be really proud of you, man.

[Desean] Dad!

Dad, Uncle Reg.

- Why are they doing that?
- [seabirds chirping]

[Butcher] A-Train?

That was your f*cking Phone-a-Friend?

Well, I held up my end, luv.
How are you gonna get us out?

I'll fly us all out. One by one.

Well, that will take all f*cking night.

All right, fine.

Just as long as we're
on the same page here.

Frenchie goes first.

Yeah, all right. Frenchie first.

- What about Hughie and M.M.?
- We will get them.

But nothing is more important
than k*lling Homelander.

- Frenchie first.
- You sound like Maeve.

Yeah, well, Maeve was right.

[dark music playing]

[vape hissing]

[shark clicking]

[clicking continues]

Shh! Quiet.

You've been whining like
a little b*tch since the Azores.

[atmospheric music playing]

[A-Train] They're already gone.

Stop following my f*cking family, man.

I'm never gonna stop, bro.

Homelander's orders.

- Only one way this ends.
- Yeah, exactly.

Right now it's you coming after me.

Then it'll be Noir coming after you.

New Noir, because Homelander
k*lled the first one.

Remember?

That's how people end up around him.

[chuckles] You smug d*ck.

Always thought you were
better than me, didn't you?

- Jesus.
- What? It's true.

Sending me 2,000 octopus fleshlights?

- [chuckles]
- What, you think I'm a f*cking joke?

Suck my ba*ls. You're the f*cking joke.

Look at you.
On the run like a little b*tch,

and I'm with Homelander.

You know, I can see it.

Look how terrified you are of him.

[scoffs] f*ck you.

I'm the Lord of the Seven Seas, baby.

I'm all about that sigma life.

I ain't terrified of sh*t.

You're so scared of Homelander,
you don't even see what it's done to you.

[shakily]
I am not f*cking scared.

Yeah, I said the same thing.

It's pathetic.

You're pathetic.

Sooner or later
I'm gonna get to your family.

[shark clicking]

Xander, we'll leave
when I say we'll leave.

God.

[Worm] When I wrote
the series finale of Triple C,

that's Crimson Countess Capers,

it was impossible to, like, tick every box

and tie up every little storyline.

I mean, just try making everybody happy.

You can't do it.

Finales are the worst.

Your voice makes me want to k*ll myself.

Oh. Sorry. Was that bad?

How many times did you come here thinking,
"I should just blaze on in there

- and save the day?"
- No, I already said that I…

Oh, come off it.

Don't give me that "Hughie's safer
in his playpen" bollocks.

You left him in there 'cause you don't
want to look him in the eye

after a year's worth
of deep, dark sh*t you've done.

Let me give you a bit of advice.

[Annie] Please don't.

Ain't nothing to feel guilty about.

'Cause that sh*t
is gonna get us all k*lled.

[Worm] I mean, it is thankless
and impossible work.

Hey, what did you guys think
of the, uh, Lost finale?

- Get to work, as*h*le.
- Great.

I'm f*cking starving.
Where you want to pop out?

Bunk 19.

[cheery melody plays]

[indistinct P.A. announcement]

Wait, that…

That's a Vought Freedom Camp.

- Is it?
- No, no, no, no.

Y-You said I'd get to stick it to Vought,
not get f*cking lasered in half.

Well, that's how worms
get their rocks off, innit?

It's complicated, and I-I don't want to
get into that right now. I'm f*cking out.

Hey. Our friends are about to be k*lled.

So, you're gonna dig us a hole
or I'll bury you in one.

[suspenseful music playing]

Drive the action to the cl*max,
drive the action to the cl*max.

[panting]

You guys are gonna want to stay back.

[gas rumbling]

- [shouts]
- Ooh, no.

[gas rumbling]

Have fun in the sh*thole.

Ladies first.

f*ck you.

[Butcher sighs]

[tense music playing]

[grunting]

Yeah.

[Worm] Oh.

That wasn't so bad, was it?

Don't ever contact me again.

Oh, hey, uh, is it cool if I use this

for the A story in the, uh,
Reacher spec I'm working on?

- Oh, piss off, w*nk*r.
- Taking that as a yes.

[muffled grunt]

Oh, f*ck.

Surprise.

Welcome, William.

And you.

The g*ng is almost all here. Oh.

And, uh…

…you never told me
that this one's nickname is…

Mother's Milk.

[laughs]

Okay. So, what's the big plan?

What, are you gonna sandbag me
with the Godolkin virus?

Yes. I know all about it.

- Suck my fat d*ck.
- Hmm?

[muffled shout]

[panting]

[muffled shout]

Hey, where's Starlight?

Just doesn't feel like a party

without my little lightning bug here…

[atmospheric music playing]

Jesus Christ. William,
you've got a viper's nest in there.

I'd heard about it, of course, but…

seeing it for myself, it's, uh…

it-it's incredible.

I mean, it's f*cking disgusting,

of course, but it-it's beautiful.

What you've done to yourself,
what you've become.

And you did all that for me?

Now that, that is devotion.

- [mouthing]
- You know, William,

I know we're not exactly equals,

but I'm compelled to say…

…you are the only one
that's ever challenged me.

And there's a part of me
that will be sad to see you go.

[grumbles]

[grunts angrily]

[exciting music playing]

Come on. Blondie's gonna fly us out.

- Annie! Annie.
- Hughie. Hughie.

[g*nf*re]

- sh*t.
- What the f*ck?

Hughie.

[people shouting]

[Butcher] Get down.

Don't you move.

[sentimental music playing]

Mon coeur.

Frenchie.

[g*nf*re continues]

- Hey.
- [gasps]

It's okay. It's okay.

Just stay down, okay?

[dramatic music playing]

What are you doing?

[Mother's Milk] Hey, d*ck.

I've been waiting for this.

I'm-a chop that thing up like a party sub.

[grunts, coughs]

[guard] Don't you f*cking move.

Don't you move. Get your hands
up where I can see them.

Get your f*cking hands up
where I can see them.

Merci, mademoiselle.

Hold her tight.

[Frenchie groans]

[gasps]

Where-where is she going?

[straining]

[Mother's Milk shouts]

[screams]

[grunts]

[Ivy] f*ck this. She's not coming back.

- Hughie, we have to go. We have to go now.
- Hey.

- Ivy, stay down, stay down.
- No, no, no.

- She's coming back. She's coming back.
- She-she can't. Just…

[grunting]

William!

[grunts]

[groans]

[dramatic music playing]

- Frenchie at the van?
- [Annie] Yeah.

Come on, then.

Are you hurt?

Where the hell were you?

[sighs]

[exciting music playing]

[panting]

[woman] Yeah, I know,
and that's what I said.

Yes, exactly.

I don't know. The usual.

I'm not…

[wind whistling]

[grunts, coughs]

[groaning]

Looks like someone can catch
the A-Train after all.

End of the road, buddy boy.

[A-Train laughs]

[groaning]

What's so funny?

What was I so afraid of?

You are…

…f*cking nothing.

Really?

[groans, laughs]

[strains] Yeah.

Really.

You're just an empty f*cking suit.

Take away these powers…

[panting]

…and what are you, huh?

A pathetic…

…weak,

sniveling f*cking loser.

[A-Train laughs]

[bones crunch]

[body thuds]

[insects chirping]

[insects chirping]

[insects chirping]

[insects chirping]

[insects chirping]