01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

This programme contains some scenes which some
viewers may find upsetting and strong language

As Robert Graves
wrote, in the final

stanza of his poem
Two Fusiliers,

"Show me the two so
closely bound, as we

"By the wet bond of blood

"By friendship,
blossoming from mud

"By death we faced him

"And we found beauty in death

"In dead men breath."

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

PHONE CHIMES

Hello?

Iona?

In the bath, babe.

PHONE RINGS

Good evening, Tullygarven,
Townland of Ulster.

So, what's the sketch?

Noodles, I need to see you.

Tully, what is it?

Meet me at the caravan
tomorrow afternoon.

Don't piss about, just come.

Well, it's not as if you
writers ever do any work.

Just, just tell me now.

Get yourself home, Noodles.

MUSIC BEATS

CROWD CHEERS

Why didn't you just go in?

You've got a key.

I wanted to wait for you.

I stopped off in
Saltcoats, got us a bottle.

Half a bottle,

you tight b*stard.

I was worried we wouldn't
have time to finish it.

What's going on?

I'm f*cked, Noodles.

I didn't want to tell
you on the phone.

Well, I'm here now.

Just take your time, all right?

Anna and I were on holiday a few

months ago in Cuba.

God, I love Cuba.

I was, I was hiccupping
a hell of a lot.

Indigestion, it
was the drink, I'd

been caning it.

So, I tell Anna when I get home

I'm going to screw the nut,

you know, that
well-worn refrain.

But I didn't tell
her about the pain.

And if I'm completely f*cking

honest, I'd been
in pain for months.

So I get home, go
to the doctors,

she sends me for a scan...

..and the rest, as
they say, is cancer.

Where?

Oesophagus, liver,
stomach and lymph nodes,

whatever the f*ck they are.

I've got four months

and that's the short of it.

Don't believe it.

We'll get another opinion.

It's not a matter of an opinion.

You can go private,
I'll sort it.

I'd rather die than
go private. No!

It can't be four
month, you look fine.

They must've got it wrong.

You sound like Anna. She
wants me to have chemo -

I'm not doing it.

Tully, you have to!

You cannot just check out,
you've got responsibilities.

Like what? Who to? Us!

Your family, the
people who love you.

I'm doing this my way.

You'll have everything you
need, all right? Just...

..just ask - anything.

Don't let me die like a prick.

We all die like
pricks. I mean it.

What's your quote?

The Anthony and Cleopatra one.

"Make death proud to take us"?

That's it. That's the one.

Does Fiona and your mum know?

Fiona does.

That was hard, telling
her and the kids.

They're so great.

The young are going to save us.

I haven't told Barbara
and I'm not going to.

She's your mother.

Get you, pontificating
about mothers.

Do you want to see Barbara?

When?

Now. We can walk.

She'll be having her tea.

It's soup tonight.

Come on.

♪ Into the valley

♪ Betrothed and divine

♪ Realisations no virtue
but who can define

♪ The soldiers go marching

♪ Those masses align... ♪

THEY LAUGH

We're selling Barbara's
house to pay for the home.

That's brutal.

She worked hard to pay
for that house. She did.

She wanted to leave us
something after Woodbine died.

I mean it, Jimmy, I
don't want her to know.

There she is.

You got your glad rags on, Mum?

Oh, you look nice today.

Look who's come to see you.

You all right, Barbara?

It's Noodles, Mum. He's come
all the way up from London.

She won't eat it, Tully.

It's vegetable,
it's good for her.

See if you can make her.

Angela, this is my old
friend, Jimmy Collins.

He's a very posh writer.

Not really.

Good for you.

Let's have a go at this soup.

You used to make
me soup, Barbara.

Jimmy's broth, do you remember?

Noodles.

Oh, my.

You want your music on, Mum?

Here, Jimmy.

PIANO MUSIC PLAYS

How's your mum and dad, Jimmy?

I don't know.

Dad's gone off to find himself.

Mum said he should have started

by looking up his own backside.

Her and I live
separate lives now.

How can you live separate
lives in these wee houses?

You can't swing a cat in them.

People don't need
space to be alone.

You shouldn't be
talking like that,

not at your age.

I'm filing for divorce.

Don't talk daft.

You can't divorce
your mum and dad.

How would you manage?

I'll get a job, go out on
my own, it's no big deal.

Don't worry, Ma.

Noodles gets things done. He'll
get himself a fancy pants lawyer.

Why do you need a lawyer, Jimmy?

Been nicking vegetables again?

You look nice, pet.

You meeting Scott? Uh-huh.

We're going to the youth
meeting at the church.

God is dead, Fiona. Tully!

You'll upset your sister.

He won't.

What are you making, Mum?

Jimmy's broth.

DOOR OPENS

Doesn't he have a home to go to?

Aye.

It's here.

Happy families.

These boys are
taking over my house.

I'll bring you up a tray.

Jimmy, you come here any time
you want - Ewan doesn't mind.

Mum, let's take some
more, eh? Go on.

No.

MUSIC: Look For
The Silver Lining

Oh, my.

You're not a bad dancer for 21.

How long has she been like that?

A while.

It is what it is.

I don't know what's worse, dying

before your time or
living beyond it.

We've got a campaign
to plan though.

I could m*rder a pint.

Let's walk.

It's a decent hike.

I can still walk, arsehole.

Hang on a sec, yeah? Just...

..need a f*g.

Aye, that's a great idea.

Are you sure you
should be smoking?

That nag has bolted.

It's weird to think this dump
is where you started teaching.

It's weird to think this dump was
the start of your great escape.

Things are desperate,
Miss O'Connor.

I can't get a single
job interview.

I don't know what I'm going to do
with my life. It's a disaster area.

Sit down, James.

That fact is, you're
only 17. Nearly 18.

And you've read more
books than I have.

You must have read some to
have ended up in this dump.

The other day you
mentioned Edith Sitwell.

James, nobody in
the history of this

school has ever
mentioned Edith Sitwell.

You know, all I
know about her is

she had a long nose and
wore a lot of rings.

You should be
going to university

with people who know
who Edith Sitwell is.

University? Yes.

So why aren't you?

I can't because...

..because...

..things are...

Rough at home?

I didn't say that.

It's no big drama,
Miss O'Connor.

James...

..get out of here.

Pass your exams, then
go and do not turn back.

We'll start with this next term.

You're a weirdo.

And weirdos have to get out.

Your Mrs O'Connor did
you proud, you weirdo.

I wonder how many weirdos
you've done the same for.

I guarantee they don't have
another teacher like you.

Hang on.

FAUX AMERICAN ACCENT:
You think I'm a weirdo?

FAUX AMERICAN ACCENT:
Yeah, but so what?

Everybody's weird.

Stand by Me, Rob Reiner,


Five. f*cking cheapskate.

"I can't stand people who
laugh at other people.

"They'd get a bigger laugh if
they laughed at themselves."

Taste of Honey, predictable.

Is it f*ck predictable.
Shelagh Delaney's a genius.

I'm not talking about the words,
I'm talking about the messenger.

"Oh, God, make me
good, but not yet."

ALL: Disallowed!

It's a f*cking novel.
Novels are not permitted,

unless you're Noodles and
they're your lifeblood.

Limbo! Off to get wasted
again. Where's he going?

Do the boys know yet?

Nope.

I'm not ready for the
onslaught of sentiment.

You're my campaign manager,

so you can tell them.

No. Well, you said
I only had to ask.

I wouldn't know what to say.

You call yourself a writer?

I'll have an apple
pie, followed by pizza.

You mean pizza,
followed by apple pie?

I mean an apple pie
followed by a pizza pie.

Capeesh?

Cheers.

You're a bad b*stard.

I'm just stating my
wants with clarity.

No time to waste, Mr Writer.

Let's do what we love best,
make a plan, do a list.

HE SIGHS

Right.

What's first?

Anna.

What am I going to do about her?

Marry her. I mean,
that's what I would do.

You're already married.

Don't you think it's a
bit weird to do it now?

I mean, we won't have
time for a honeymoon.

You will.

I don't want to
leave her a widow.

She's going to be a widow
whether you're married or not.

It'll mean everything to her.

I love her so much.

Well, it's settled then.

And we'll do it properly.

No holding back, all right?

Anna's big day.

Yeah, but no
sit-downy shite with


in daft hats bullshit.

Item two.

Chemo.

Nope.

Seriously, what's the point?

Extra time.

I was always sh*t at penalties.

Very true.

Unlucky, mate.

What did the doctor
say about chemo?

It might give me seven months.

f*ck's sake, Tully, do it!

Nah, a don't fancy it. It
sounds like a total nightmare.

It's seven more
months with Anna.

Look, this is my
plan. Cross that out.

It'll turn me into
somebody I'm not.

It might not, and you and
Anna can use the time.

No.

I want control.

So write this down.

Item two...

..Switzerland.

What, a holiday?

The last place I'd
ever go on holiday

is the land of fence-sitting
and f*cking cuckoo clocks.

You said ask you anything.

As soon as this gets
bad, and it will soon,

get me to Switzerland
for the Hitler chow-down.

The what?

The chow-down, the
suicide b*llet.

When the bad time comes, I want to
end it myself and not go skelly.

I want to go to Switzerland
and I need you to sort it.

Are you saying...

..assisted dying?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

What does Anna say?

I'll tell her when it's
sorted, she'll be fine.

I want you to help me. No!

f*ck, no.

Tully, I love you, but you
can't ask me to do that.

"Make death proud to take us."

You said it, you gave me
my last quote, you have to.

Is that why you got me up here?

So I got all
nostalgic and say yes?

Well, you can f*ck off.

No.

Why me?

You get things done, Noodles.

Hey, darling. Hey.

I can't talk for long.

Second half's about to start.

You sound so good.

Jimmy, what is it?

Tully's got terminal cancer.

Oh, Jimmy, I'm so sorry.

And he w...

He wants me to help
plan their wedding.

Oh, poor Anna.

I cannot...

I mean, they love each
other so much. It's hellish.

I better go, he's, he's in the
caravan, he wants to watch a film.

He wants everything
to be normal.

f*cking normal.

Top three films starring
Robert DeNiro, go.

Godfather Part II. Yeah.

Taxi Driver.

Once Upon A Time In America.

Noodles, man alive.

Only a lover of stone-washed
jeans would leave out Raging Bull.

Do you think Robert
DeNiro's a family man?

In dreams, aye,
everyone is in dreams.

My folks ain't.

I am going to divorce them.

Aye, do it.

And come to mine whenever
you like, my mum loves you.

You're in charge, Noodles.

Do life the way you want.

♪ Crow's feet are
engraved on my face.

♪ And I'm living too late... ♪

Tibbs, if Karl Marx
was in The Fall,

what instrument would he play?

Glockenspiel.

Glockenspiel?

Don't be daft, that's
a hippy contraption.

It's metal, industrial,

fits with what he says about
the means of production.

It's a bourgeois piece of shite.

Mark E would boot
him out on his arse.

Noodles, help these boys out.

Marx would be a
solid bass player.

How come you were late?

I was finishing my homework.

Priorities, Noodles.

MUSIC: Living Too Late

Come on, drink it.

I f*cking hate blueberries.

I know, but I don't care.

Just drink it, get it down you.

Oh, you big baby.

I hope you didn't use
your feet to mulch them.

Why would I do that when I've
got a shiny new juicer? Hmm.

And just so as you know -

I'm not going to let
you die without a battle

that involves the intervention
of an electrical appliance.

Come on.

Slange.

Oh.

Oh, don't worry, it'll freeze.

So, how is Iona's play?

Good, I think.

And when are you heading back?

Not yet. We've got stuff
to do, haven't we, Noodles?

What stuff?

Well, he's my campaign
manager. Oh, campaign manager.

So, er, you're running
for office, Tully?

Well, I thought I'd pass a
few good laws before I croak.

What's on your manifesto?

Chemo, I hope.

No chemo, I told you.

But the first thing on the list

is Anna's big day.

What big day?

Your big f*ck off wedding day.

WHISPERS: Oh.

And who decided this?

We did.

And you didn't think
to ask me first?

Well, if you don't
want to, then...

Why would I marry a big baby
that doesn't eat his blueberries?

I'm sorry.

I love you with all my heart...

..the only one of my organs
that still functions.

Hey.

So, do you fancy it?

Have the chemo...

..and I'll think about it.

HE SIGHS

You lawyers, you've
got me bang to rights.

You win.

Do you mean it?

I never say anything
I don't mean.

THEY LAUGH

Oh!

I love it, I love it, I
love it, my beautiful ring!

I love you with all of my heart!

If I don't see you
again, I'm going to die!

How do you think he looks?

Good.

Yeah, I know.

Jammy b*stard.

The wedding was your
idea, wasn't it?

Absolutely not. Really?

Honestly. Really?

Tully suggested it, telling you.

It's what he wants.

But I want to pay for it, right?

It's my gift. No!

No.

We've got money.

What are you like, coming here,

flashing your money about?

Just let me do it.

I'm losing him, too.

You know what he's
like, though, all front.

He's in a lot of pain.

The chemo will help.

Yeah.

God, he's such a bugger.

I have been literally
begging him to do it and...

..you come along and...

What did you say to him?

That he'd have
more time with you.

So how much do I owe you?

He has to do everything
he can to stay with me.

Yeah.

He will.

Hello.

Iona.

I couldn't leave
you by yourself.

Brutal.

But refreshingly honest.

Mr Dawson, how are you doing?

Never better.

So, our job now is to keep you,

as well as possible
for as long as we can.

The chemo won't make
the cancer go away,

but it should help you stay
around for a bit longer.

Good.

Well, I've got an
important gig coming up

and I wouldn't want to
disappoint my public.

How could this happen?

I wish I knew, Tibbs.

He's having chemo though, so...

..that should help, yeah?

That's what we're hoping,
but he's not keen though.

OK. So...

..we take it as it comes.

We rally.

We let him be Tully.

Do everything we can to
help him stay around,

just as long as its
humanly possible.

We do for Tully...

..what we should
have done for Limbo.

Limbo!

Limbo?

Don't drink any more, OK?

We had a good time though,

didn't we?

You haven't changed,
Tyrone Lennox.

And you've sorted your life out,
like we always knew you would.

There's no secret to it.

I just get on with it.

Stay in touch, OK?

And tell him...

..I'm here.

Let me be on my own.

I'm better in the
tunnel on my own.

OK.

I've...

..got far more important things

to be doing anyway,
so, you know...?

I'll just be in the kitchen
if you need me, though, OK?

Okey dokey.

♪ I hear footsteps

♪ Won't be long before we meet

♪ It's obvious

♪ Don't count me
in and count me out

♪ And I'll be
waiting for the show

♪ Oblivious! ♪

Do you know what I
think we should do?

We should kid on
that we've booked

a Kajagoogoo tribute band.

You're evil. No way.

Hey, do you need
something to drink?

Go back to bed,
I'll get it for you.

I don't need you to f*cking
get it. I can get it myself.

DOORBELL RINGS

I'll get that.

No, no, no, no, I'll get it, it's
probably the air purifier I ordered.

Just go back to bed,
you're annoying me now.

DOORBELL RINGS

I'm coming.

Take that f*cking thing away.

We don't need a
f*cking air purifier.

We don't want it,
we've got enough shite!

Just sign there, thanks.

Sorry, he's, he's not very
well at the moment. Thanks.

Look, I know you're in
a lot of pain right now,

but I'm not your cat to kick.

Then don't f*cking
apologise for me then.

I'm dying, end of, and I wish
you'd just let me get on with it!

I love you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

While the w*r poets
express disgust

at the unbearable
horrors of w*r,

they also see a glory in the
sacrifice of these young soldiers.

But their disgust...

..it didn't go far enough.

There's no glory in any of it.

All wars are a catastrophe.

All deaths are a catastrophe.

But to die young
is always a waste.

Life, to be sure, is
nothing much to lose...

..but young men think it is.

He seems to be doing
quite well on the chemo.

He hates it, though.

You'll have notice, I'm sure.

Been talking about other things,
too, mostly about when we were kids.

Mum always said
the best times were

when you were both
hanging about the house.

Your dad didn't like
it, right enough.

Well, he wasn't well then.

He wasn't like that when Tully was
little, he loved being round him.

Tully just doesn't remember.

Jimmy, he shouldn't
have asked you

to take him to Switzerland,

not without telling Anna.

So you know then?

He's not gone about
it the right way.

He can't just...

..leave her out
of it and make it

a secret between you
and him. I've said no.

Then just let that play out.

Just...

..I feel bad, you know?

He's my best friend and
he's asked me to help him.

I know.

You love him...

..but Anna does too and
she's hurting, Jimmy.

She wants him to go into a hospice
and they're wonderful places,

they would make sure that
he wasn't in any pain.

He wouldn't suffer,
I've told him this.

That's not what he wants, is it?

No.

And you don't want him to go to

Switzerland either, do you?

You don't know my feelings.

You have a faith, Fiona.

That's irrelevant, Jimmy.

It's Tully's life,
it's not mine.

He is terrified he's going to
end up gasping like Woodbine.

Doesn't matter how
many times I tell him

it won't be like
that, he has decided.

So if that is his choice...

..then we will stand by it.

We're taking our lead from him.

We just want him to
do right by Anna.

They have their
secrets, don't they?

No.

They're completely transparent,
they just don't know it.

I resent their "thing"

sometimes, Iona, I really do.

I resent the fact that...

..that Jimmy's had
all these years

with Tully and I don't.

I won't.

Oh, Anna... The wedding...

..it was Jimmy's
idea, wasn't it?

Er, not that I know of.

Yeah, come on, it was.

I know Tully, he doesn't
want all the fuss.

But I do.

I really do.

So...

..I'm grateful that
he suggested it.

Good. It's your day.

Oh, it's funny, the first time

Tully Dawson crashed
into my life,

all I wanted to do was marry
him and have his kids...

..like I'd been waiting
for him my whole life.

You and Tully, you just...

..you just fit.

I'm sorry.

We know how awful
this is for you, Anna.

Sorry. We do.

The chemo is so tough,
Iona, it really is.

Hey. Hey.

You don't want him to die,
that's not bad, yeah? Mm-hm.

Yeah, his, his
oncologist says that

a strong reaction can
mean that it's working.

I can see a difference in
him, I really can, it's...

..it's, er, it's quite apparent.

And the chemo could
give him another year,

I don't know, maybe, maybe two.

So... yeah...

..I'd settle for that.

This is the place.

We can do drinks in
the drawing room...

..do the vows and
eat through there.

Just a buffet,
though, Tully won't

want any sit-downy sh*t.

Then he can eat or not.

And music -

that's Tully's bit.

And I want photographs,
loads of Tully -

not formal though,
just, just candid.

Thank you... for this.

It's nothing.

It's everything.

He's always relied
on you, hasn't he?

We relied on each other.

He took care of me.

He said it was all
music and comedy.

And a few films.

Now it's all silence and death.

Hey.

It's not Tully when he snaps at you
like that, he's just frustrated.

I know, I know.

And I'm OK with that,

as long as he keep's doing
the chemo, we've still,

still got a chance.

We've just need
to hold our nerve.

Hey, let's have
another look around.

MUSIC: Totally Wired

Get tae!

These babies are mine!

Jesus.

Whatever you're on,
can we have some?!

Steroids!

Who knew?

Dexamethasone AKA
Dexy's Midnight Madness!

Who knew?!

Drop your bag, come on!

Get involved!

I'm totally wired!

Well, you look better.

I'm on Class A drugs, Noodles.

But we know there's always
a come down, don't we?

Nothing's changed, pal, nothing.

Crossed a lot of stuff off.

Your future bride and I
are a well-oiled machine.

Though, why we need
posh cars is beyond me.

To get us there,

unless you want to get the bus.

Happily.

This place has changed, eh?

Yep.

Old Woodbine wore
a very particular

groove in these floorboards.

Woodbine took his
shame out on us.

My dad did the same.

All the reluctant fathers.

sh*t.

Why didn't I call my band that?

Eh?

That's a great name for a band.

I can't believe Anna's going
along with Switzerland.

It's against everything
she believes in.

She doesn't know,

not yet.

For f*ck's sake.

I know.

I know.

It's ill*gal, you
could get arrested.

Jimmy, he's asking you
to help him k*ll himself.

Imagine how you'll feel,
after, when it's over.

You'd have to live with it...

..knowing you were the
one that took him there.

She'll never forgive
you - either of you.

You can't.

It'll break her heart.

Her heart is going
to break either way.

He's my friend.

But Anna's going to be
his wife on Saturday.

Would he do it for you?

Without hesitation.

I don't care.

You can't.

You can't.

I've said no.

Good.

I'm getting out.

I'm getting the f*ck out!

Strathclyde University -

English and Russian.

Guess Susan did
the business then?

It was you and Barbara too,

letting me stay at yours and
making me study - all of it.

Thanks. I owe you
everything, Tully.

Shut it, weirdo.

I gather you got a place.

Strathclyde,
English and Russian.

Oh, that is grand.

Susan.

Mrs O'Connor to you!

You don't have to say anything.

It's all good.

Now, go and do not come back,

you hear me?

She had two brothers, you know?

Who did?

Edith Sitwell, you know, the one

with the long nose
and the rings?

They were called
Osbert and Sacheverell.

Sacheverall, your tea's ready!

Noodles!

We're going to celebrate
your great escape.

Now, we can go and
see these Neds at

the Barrowlands
playing for 15 minutes

with their backs to
the f*cking audience,

or we can go to Manchester for
the best gig in f*cking history.

The Shop Assistants at The
Workshop on the Friday.

Then on Saturday, New
Order, The Smiths,

The Fall, and the f*cking rest.

If we miss this, we
might as well be dead.

We're going to Manchester,

you, me, Limbo, Tibbs and Hogg,

the Ayrshire boys.

Manchester, come the f*ck on!

The land of Ian Curtis
and Shelagh Delaney.

Wait. Right, pick one.

Noodles...

..it's a present...

..for passing your
exams and getting out.

Come on, let's go
to Limbo's flat!

Woo!

CHANTING: England's
getting rode!

ALL REPEAT: England's
getting rode!

You bored, Davie?

I'm making something monumental.

We need a plan for when
we get off the bus.

Noodles, make a list.

First, we head to
the best record

shop in the history of
record shops, straight there.

Straight there,
record shop, beers.

Grub on the way to The Workshop,

then Shop Assistants. Don't
know where we'll sleep.

Then Saturday...
Go round the shops?

f*ck the shops,
we see Manchester

in all its majesty.

Then the festival, the best
time anyone's ever had.

Then the Hacienda.

Then we lie down...

..and then we die.

Where do you wash, Limbo?

I go to the baths every day.

You swim every
day? I don't swim.

If God had meant me to swim,

he'd have given me the shoulders
and buttocks of Mark Spitz.

I'll need to be numb
to survive this night.

Please make full use
of all the facilities.

Mi casa es su casa.

There's only one rule.

If anybody draws
a c*ck and ba*ls

on my forehead when I'm asleep,

I'll f*cking k*ll them!

STRANGE CRASH

What the f*ck is Hogg doing?

I'm the Jackson of Pollok.

You're the Prick of Pollok.

MUSIC: Age of Consent

It's the burning embers
of British Imperialism,

so f*ck the Commonwealth Games.

We need sanctions and a boycott.

That'll be bad for Edinburgh.

How old are you, 50?

Just cos you drive
a poser mobile.

It's a silver Capri.

It's a d*ck mobile.

You all right, Tullygarven?

Aye, just pacing myself.

This won't be our
last big weekend.

Limbo's right, Hogg, you
drive a shagging wagon.

Did the Prick of Pollok
ever get back to you?

Nope. Didn't reply
to the invite.

His loss.

You scrub up well but
you still can't do a tie.

It's only a wedding.
Sort yourself out, mate.

What is this, q*eer Eye?

You OK?

I've never felt better.

It's going to be perfect.

How's it going, all right?

Well, you look incredible.

So do you.

This is going to be hard.

Yeah.

Come on.

You all right? You all right?

Give a kiss.

I love you. I love you.

Thought you said you were fine?

That's what you
wanted me to say.

This isn't getting any better
any time soon, Jimmy...

..no matter how much
you and Anna wish it.

MUSIC: Pearly Dewdrops

Hello, you.

Hello. Hello, you.

I know this might
feel like a wedding,

but, in fact, it's a convention

for all the poor f*ck who've

had their lives blighted by the

madness of Tully
Dawson. Come on.

We're missing a couple of those
poor unfortunates tonight,

but they're with us in spirit.

A lot of spirits.

Show us your arse!

That's the encore, Tibbs.

So, Tully Dawson,

we all know he's this big and

annoyingly, ridiculously
handsome b*stard.

He's a unique mix of
Carrot Top and Rob Lowe.

Some people are just stars...

..and Tully Dawson's
the brightest.

He's given me some of the
biggest laughs of my whole life

and I know that might
sound like a small thing...

..but it's f*cking huge.

There's nothing greater,

so I want to thank him for that.

Anna.

Anna, she's the one we
really have to thank.

She's gorgeous, wise,

smart, bossy. Oi. Oi.

But, most of all, she puts
up with Tully's nonsense.

In fact...

..she's put with
all our nonsense.

And she's loved Tully like no

person could ever hope to be
loved in their whole lifetime.

Right, let the dancing commence!

ALL CHEER

MUSIC: Street Fighter

I once applied to Napier
to study journalism,

did you know that?

They asked me to suggest a
title for a column and I did -

"Britain Is A Ropey Old Cow" -

and I proceeded to dictate
aforementioned column.

British Steel is dead,
British coal is dead,

British rail is dead.

Ergo...

..Britain is a ropey old cow.

And then...

..I mooed.

Never change.

Ah.

It's weird, innit?

No Limbo.

I think about him a lot,

in that flat...

..a halo of white
powder, all alone.

Nobody should die alone.

f*ck me...

..is that Hogg?

f*ck, it is.

Jimmy. Hogg.

Tibbs. Hogg.

You never replied
to your invitation.

No, I'm sorry I didn't,

but, you know...

..I couldn't not come.

Is it true, that you've got
six wains and three ex-wives?

Three wains and six ex-wives.

Manchester...

..that must have been the last
time we were all together.

Didn't I try and batter you?

You're just children.

Manchester?

Transmission.

The festival.

I don't remember.

Tully.

Oh, h*, h*! He made it.

Good to see you. You, too.

Thought I would
pop in, say hello.

And wave cheerio?

Tibbs, take Hogg and get
him arseholed, will you?

Come on, son, let's get on it.

Don't let him near any paint.

Do you ever miss Iona
when she's on tour?

There's one good thing,

I won't miss Anna
because I won't exist.

It's you poor f*ck
that'll do all the missing.

Thank you for today.

You've done us proud.

I won't forget it
as long as I live.

You know what I mean.

I don't want you to feel bad about
Switzerland, Noodles, I get it.

It doesn't change
anything between us.

Fiona said it was
asking too much of you.

She's very wise, my sister.

Why did you ask me?

I needed you to say it was OK.

Is it OK?