01x04 - Bringing Sexy Back

[bunniefuu]

A little tip
with holding chopsticks.

It's actually more elegant,

and you have a lot of control
when you hold it higher up.

The top chopstick should be
between these three.

And then the bottom
chopstick rests on that.

Very good. Then pick up your mushroom.

Then let me give you a bit of this.

This is called uni. Close your eyes.

Mm!

Tell me how it feels.
Is it wet or dry?

- Very wet.
- Very wet.

- So wet.
- Mm-hmm. Yep.

Will you tell me what it is?

This is, uh, sea urchin.

Oh, wow. I thought they were black.

Well, yes, but their... gonads are orange.

The gonads?

The sexual organs.

I'm eating...?

A sexual organ.

So this would be the equivalent
of an ovary or a testicle.

Okay, as she casually
has another bite. All right.

Well done. Yay.

Yay, Mila.

Very good!

- Am I looking at you?
- Yes.

Okay, great.

I'm Illiana. I am 31 years old,
and I live with my husband Liam.

Liam and I have been married
for three years.

We have a beautiful baby girl.

She's ten months old. Her name is Camila.

And, honestly, it's just been...
the best thing that's happened to me,

but the hardest thing I've ever done.

Hi, mamá.

After I gave birth, I felt a bit lost
in the beginning for sure.

And it's hard to even set goals
and know what you want

'cause, I mean at least for me,
you know, it's just the baby.

Mila!

So, I let go of the things I wanted
and even have a focus on what was next.

I feel like I'm not the best version
of myself or even close to it.

Just constantly giving
all my energy to a baby girl

who is very energetic,
it can be very exhausting.

Overall, my energy levels are
definitely not as high as they used to be.

So, I'd love to get to a place
where I feel better about myself.

- Yeah, I'm the cook of the house.
- He's the cook of the family.

Just don't tell my Latina mother that,
please.

My parents immigrated
from Honduras in Central America.

They worked so hard to give
me and my brothers a good life.

And, honestly, I can say
in my childhood I was very happy.

Bye!

I'd love to feel fit and healthy
and a bit sexy again.

Sara's a manners and etiquette coach.
I'd love for Sara to help me with

being able to focus more,
get my goals back on track,

and enjoy life outside of just
being a mom to this beautiful baby girl.

Enjoy romantic evenings with my husband.

Even just go back to work, get a job.

She seems like a girl boss
and girl bosses finish things,

even just a kick in the butt.

I'd take that right now.
I just need something.

So, whatever that looks like.

Hello.

- Hey, Illiana.
- Hi, how are you?

- Welcome to class.
- Lovely to meet you. Thank you.

- Have a seat.
- Perfect. Thanks.

What I love about being
an etiquette teacher is that

every student has a personal story.

And I like to dig deep
to finding out what their issues are

that are stopping them from becoming
the best version of themselves.

What made you sign up
for my etiquette class?

I have goals and I know that
just improving myself physically,

and goal-orientated and mindset-wise,

but I know that just in general
your etiquette can help

with the holistic journey
of being a better version of yourself.

- I know you just had a baby.
- I did.

- How's it been so far?
- It's been an adventure.

It's been the best but hardest thing
I've ever done in my life.

It brought a lot of change,
some good, some not so great.

So we're gonna start today's lesson
with a class on Chinese tea.

Do you drink tea usually?

I actually don't.
I'm a massive coffee drinker.

Um, I like the idea of tea,
but I'm not used to it.

Let's have some green tea.

As a host, you pour for the guest first
before you pour for yourself, like wine.

Chinese tea drinking etiquette,
you'd lift up your tea,

both hands, not just the glass,
the whole thing, the saucer.

Very good. You're a natural.

Really?
It feels very not natural.

You know, I think you should
consider replacing your coffee with tea.

It has the same effects.
It wakes you up. It has caffeine.

For hundreds if not thousands of years,

us Chinese have known
the medicinal properties of tea.

It increases your metabolism.

Tea's the answer.

I'm willing to try it.

It is quite tasty.

Sara's very convincing.

I don't think anybody could get me
to go from coffee to tea.

I love my coffee. I've been drinking it
since I was literally a child.

Latin culture.

Definitely will give it a try.

See if it helps with my health
and energy levels.

Tomorrow, I'll switch
the oat latte for a green tea.

Yeah, I'm gonna give it a go.

So after birth, it seems
your whole focus has been on the baby.

- Yeah.
- Achieving goals is a bit of an issue.

The first six months were really hard.

I definitely was struggling
with postpartum anxiety.

It was so hard to get out of the house
and leave Camila with anyone.

Because of that it was hard to work out.

I know this is a thing that all
postpartum mothers deal with.

Yep.

One thing that I feel like I wrestled with

is just, like, how I feel
about myself postpartum.

I know it's important
to love yourself where you're at,

but want to become better
in every area of your life.

So what I'm seeing here is
a woman who's just had a baby.

Her whole focus for the last ten months
has been her baby.

Yep.

She has some Latin spice,
some Latin sexiness deep down in there.

There is. She's there.

We are going to get
to the bottom of your goal issues,

help you set some goals,
help you achieve some goals.

- Okay.
- What do you think?

- I love it.
- You ready for that?

- I'm ready for that.
- All right, let's do it.

Perfect.

I'm so ready to take the challenge.
I won't shy away from it.

I wanna start keeping goals.

I wanna feel like not just my old self,
but a better version of myself.

As soon as you sit down
at a Western restaurant,

you should put your napkin on your lap.

How?

Well, fold it in half,

have the opening towards you,
and put it on your lap.

Why is the opening towards you?

Because when you wipe your mouth,
you'll wipe on the inside of the opening.

That way when you close it up,
it looks like you have a clean napkin.

Our next lesson is on deportment.

I want to see
how everyone walks elegantly.

Petrell, please come here
and show us how you walk.

Okay, walk for us.

Siok, did Petrell land
on her heel or sole first?

Heel.

She landed on her heels first,
that's right.

Actually, when we wear flats,

the heel goes down first
and then the sole.

But remember when we wear heels,

both the heel and the sole land
at the same time.

The higher your heels,
the smaller your steps should be.

Siok, please walk for us.

Slowly...

- Go back.
- Do it again.

- The heels are too high.
- Slowly.

Petrell, look if she's landing
with her heels first.

Some are landing heels first
and some are at the same time.

Siok, remember the higher
your heels, the smaller your steps.

Also, I feel your walk is unstable.

So...

Put this on your head.

I feel that if both heel
and sole land at the same time,

my knees are like this.

Oh, no.

We are not dinosaurs, okay?

Dinosaurs walk like this.

Just kick forward a little.

Take smaller steps.

Remember to look forward.

Smaller steps.

Slowly.

Beautiful.

The three of you walk together.
You can just follow me.

- Do I have to bring this book?
- Yes.

Okay.

Is there music?

Music.

Very elegant.

Illiana is leaving the baby
with her husband for the very first time

since giving birth.

That's a huge step for her.

She signed up for something
she really wants to do,

which is instigate change in herself.

Wow.

Quite the spread.

Today, we'll have sushi.
It's the global foreplay food.

Okay. Great.

Eating sushi is a sensual experience.

It's a combination of visual anticipation,

delicate presentation,
and sheer physical pleasure.

Okay.

I want to indulge Illiana
and get her feeling sexy again.

And there's nothing more sexy than sushi.

Let's go in for some sashimi first.

With sashimi, you use chopsticks
and you just do a little dip

into your soy sauce and wasabi.

Then put it in your mouth.

- What's this one?
- Fluke.

Know what? I'll go for tuna.

Okay, but once your chopsticks
have touched one, you stay with it.

- I'm doing it.
- It's etiquette.

That's fine. We can do this.
We're on the journey.

You got this.
Whole thing in your mouth.

All right.

So many new experiences.

I feel like my palate is
just kind of going everywhere.

Mm!

Helping Illiana
feel good about herself

is the first step towards increasing
her focus and building her confidence.

I love sushi.

Is that okay that it got on the rice?

I definitely can see
how sushi can make you feel sexy.

I feel like I'm having
a brand-new experience.

It's great.

I think learning all this is beneficial.

When I eat better, I feel better.

Let's get into our next sexy food.

Eel.

Very sexy.

I mean,
your culture must be super sexy.

Like, all the sexiest songs,
all the sexiest dances.

When was the last time you felt sexy?

Mm.

Oh, gosh.

Before the baby?

For sure, yeah.

Yeah, it's been a while.
Oh, God. Why am I getting emotional?

I shouldn't get emotional
about not feeling sexy.

- Or maybe I should.
- That's okay.

I gained some weight
'cause I'm growing a human.

But overall, I was eating good
and feeling good

and running still at 40 weeks.

- Wow.
- It was pretty crazy.

I was lucky.

I know not everyone gets to,
but I had a pretty good pregnancy.

I was nine months pregnant
this time last year.

So I put on a really nice red dress
leading up to Christmas.

My hair was full 'cause you get
this beautiful voluminous hair

when you're pregnant.

Your skin is shining and glowing.

Everyone's telling you
how gorgeous you look.

Yeah, I remember feeling very sexy.

And then everything changes.

- Next thing you know, you don't feel sexy.
- Exactly. Yeah.

I said I didn't want to cry,

but the question Sara Jane asked,
"When's the last time you felt sexy?"

No one's asked me that.
I haven't asked myself.

So it was just very confronting.
I didn't know what to expect today,

but I feel I got to experience something
out of my day-to-day norm.

Yeah, it was incredible.

It's hard to be a new mom.

It is. It's very hard.

It's very difficult.
Sorry I'm crying after having...

That's okay.

If you haven't felt sexy in a year,
that is worth crying over.

The fact that she got so emotional,

that struck a chord.

Sara's not just a manners
and etiquette coach.

We were able to talk
at a very personal level, which was cool.

She's very empathetic

and she was good at connecting
examples of what we were doing

and what she wanted me
to take away from it.

I think if I felt sexier,
I'd feel more motivated.

So what are we gonna do to help Illiana?

She has some Latin spice in there.

And I think we need
to bring her sexy back.

Illiana has a lot of potential,

but I need to get her
to a goal-orientated state.

Hello.

- Hi, Illiana.
- Welcome. How are you?

- Come on in. Of course.
- Thank you.

Oh, this is the mister.

This is Liam. Liam, this is Sara Jane.

- Hi, Liam. Nice to meet you.
- You too.

Definitely a bit nerve-racking
having Sara Jane come over,

knowing she's a world-renowned
etiquette and manners coach.

Didn't know what to expect.

I see you're
apartment number three.

Yes.

Three means sheng in Chinese.

- It means fertility.
- Oh.

What's funny is
that we fell pregnant,

it was actually
the day we bought the house.

Oh, yeah. We did.

- The day we bought the house.
- There you go.

- Feng shui.
- Yeah. That's right.

Feng shui is about
the balance of yin and yang.

Yang is the sun, the bright, the hard.

Yang is also human energy.
And yin is spirit world, ghost energy.

But at the end of the day,
it's really just about good vibes.

If it's good feng shui,
you'll feel the good energy.

- You like dried flowers?
- I do, yeah.

Dried flowers are bad feng shui.

- Are they?
- Because they're dead.

Dead flowers suck energy from the house,
which is exactly what Illiana is lacking.

Never want dried flowers in the house.

All right. Fresh flowers only.

Sara was not a fan
of our un-alive eucalyptus.

We thought it added a little bit
of dried flower, uh, pizzazz,

but I do like my fresh flowers.

Overall, I think it's a good tip.

So since we're in the kitchen,
show me your cupboards.

Um, this is where all our food is.

I want to get to the bottom
of why Illiana is lacking energy.

- Rigatoni, not so good.
- Yes.

Bow-tie pasta.

Pasta is one of the baby's staples,
so we always have it at home.

- She likes it?
- She loves it.

But who really eats most of this?

I would say Camila and I
while I'm feeding her.

So I would say it's a joint venture.

It was funny to watch Sara Jane
kind of rummaging through,

finding food that could've been
affecting my energy.

I brought a bunch of goodies today.

The first one...

Oh, no!

We have to set you some goals.

I think it will help her feel
sassy and more motivated.

It's amazing how much self-confidence
we get when we feel good about our bodies.

I'm gonna help her find her mojo.

How do you feel stepping on the scale
and looking at a number?

It's not something I'd base it on,
but I think it'll be good to track it.

It'll be a really good way to go,
"Okay, what I'm doing is working."

Being in this postpartum slump,

I just wanna feel better again,
get my energy back,

be at a weight where I'm feeling fit
and my best self again.

The reason she's come to me

is to deal with this problem,
set herself a goal.

She wants to lose her baby weight.

- This is step one.
- Yeah.

- After step one, everything is easier.
- Yeah.

- Okay?
- Yes.

Okay.

She made some good points about it.

I brought you some Chinese teas.

Oh, yum. Okay.

And have you heard of purple rice?

I don't think I have. No.

Back in the day,
this was called forbidden rice

because only the emperor
was allowed to eat it.

This is actually even
much healthier than white rice.

- We do brown. Better than brown?
- Right.

This is better than brown.
Brown is good too.

If you want to be creative,
you can make congee.

So I actually brought some congee
ready-made for you to try.

Okay, awesome.

In China, we say that rice is fuel
for the human body,

especially post-natal.

It helps your stomach, your spleen.

Congee has really high water content,

because you put in one cup of rice
to, like, five cups of water.

So, it's really hydrating
for the digestive system.

Give it a try.

- Quite nice. I like this one.
- Right?

And it's warm. It's just so good for you.

It's like rice soup.

You're eating rice and losing weight.
That's amazing.

That was a very cool experience.

I could see myself having it often.

I think it's really helpful
that she brought over a lot of things

which I'm excited to try.

- Have a bit of this.
- Okay.

I feel like I'm getting
the full Chinese experience definitely.

It was fascinating and I think
a lot I definitely want to apply.

So, Illiana, have you tried
traditional Chinese medicine before?

- Traditional Chinese medicine like what?
- It'll be a surprise.

Okay.

Hey, Dr. Benny.

- Hello.
- Hi, Sara. Nice to see you.

This is Dr. Benny.

- Hi.
- Hi.

He's your traditional Chinese doctor.

One of Illiana's issues is the weight
she put on after the baby,

which is making her feel sluggish.

It's important to feel healthy
and feel good about yourself.

And traditional Chinese medicine
could help you with that.

We'll start
by checking your pulse, okay?

Okay.

Every diagnosis begins
with feeling your pulse.

Is there a pulse, doctor?

There's something
dense and tight in her spleen.

Oh. Spleen deficiency.

Oh.

There's a lot of dampness in your body
and that's leading you to gain weight.

You need to release those fluids.

- Evil energy?
- Evil. Yeah. Evil energy.

You have evil energy in your lungs.
It's cold and dampness.

It means you should cover up more
and make sure you're warm.

Her kidney function is weak.

- Kidney's weak.
- Weak, okay.

So that means your energy
is up and down. Easy to get tired.

- Yeah, I do.
- Yeah.

Heart function is a bit weak.

You cannot focus
for long periods of time.

Dr. Benny, you are spot-on!
You are indeed an expert.

How can you tell that?

Years of experience.

It's 5,000 years of history.

I have no idea how
Dr. Benny came to that conclusion,

but it was very accurate.

In front of the doctor's eyes,
there are no secrets.

Okay, yeah.

To know that he could gauge so much
about what was going on,

my kidneys, my heart, my lungs,

I'll definitely Google that
when I get home.

Ooh.

We'll give you
an ear acupuncture in two spots.

One is called shen men.

- This is for calm.
- Yeah.

Calm, relax.
For the stress and anxiety.

The other is shen shang Xian.

- Hormonal treatment.
- Yeah.

It's to boost her energy
and hormone levels.

- To help in the whole body.
- Right.

Oh, God. Sorry.
No one's ever touched me there.

Shen shang Xian.

Very odd being touched into my ear,

but I trusted him, he's a doctor.

- Oh, God. I can't look at it.
- Don't look at it.

Nobody looks at the needle...
What I like to do is I like to sing,

- ♪ W-X-Y and Z ♪
- That's it.

That wasn't so bad.

Nothing, right?

- No.
- You're a pro.

After I came over that shock,

I can say I did feel a burst of energy.

Not sure what that was,
but there was something going on.

♪ W-X-Y and Z ♪ Ow!

Good.

Illiana has really impressed me
in this TCM lesson.

I didn't imagine she'd be so open-minded.

The doctor says you actually
have a fairly high pain tolerance.

- Really?
- Yeah.

What? Are you serious?

- Yeah.
- Oh my God.

You are good, girl.

Thank God for childbirth. That's great.

Oh my gosh.

Online dating tip for women.

You should have four photos.

A dolled-up heads hot,
a full-body heads hot,

a lifestyle shot
that's your conversation starter,

and the fourth shot is your bonus shot.

Have fun with it.

Sometimes
at a higher-end restaurant,

you will be given two pairs of chopsticks.

How do we use them?

For serving and for personal use.

Right.

So you should know
the one closer to you,

which is the black one,
is your personal set.

The white set is for serving.

The personal set
is the one you use to eat.

The serving set is used
to take food from the dish.

You use the white ones to take food
from the center onto your plate

before using the black ones to eat.

If there are no serving chopsticks,

you can use the other end
of your personal set

because the other end is clean.

You must also not stab
at the food with your chopsticks.

Also remember to never point
your chopsticks at anyone.

For example,
"Joey, this dish is really delicious."

Right?

Illiana has come a long way,

but she still needs to work
on accomplishing her goals.

I've got an idea. Archery.

The feeling of sh**ting a bow,

whether it's drilling a bull's-eye
or executing a great shot,

helps you build self-esteem
and enjoy a sense of accomplishment.

And she's great at it too.

- Hello.
- Hey, Illiana.

How are you?

Have you ever tried archery?

I actually haven't. I've always wanted to.

Perfect. You should meet Simon,
your archery instructor.

- Hi, Simon.
- Hi, nice to meet you.

Archery's a process-driven sport.

It's something you need to develop
certain steps and repeat the process

every time you take a shot.

You know, thousands of years ago,
back to the Zhou dynasty,

archery was considered
a virtue of the emperor.

And it was one of six noble arts
that emperors had to learn.

And nobles would do performances
in front of the emperor.

It'd be like a ritual where
they would show the emperor

their prowess and control
over their mind and their body

to achieve their goals.

Oh, wow. That's really cool.

There's a lot to benefit from archery

you can translate
to the rest of your life.

Remember, a 10,000-mile journey
began with a single step.

I'm not sure how archery
will help me with goal setting,

but I have always wanted to try archery.

I've been skydiving, parasailing,
but never tried archery.

So it's good to add to my bucket list.

Pick up an arrow out of the stand.
Hold it by the end of the arrow.

- Slide it down onto the bow like this.
- Okay.

Onto this silver rest here and clip it
into the string between these two marks.

Perfect.

The skills we learn in archery
can be applied to all facets of life.

And most importantly, it helps you
increase your confidence and build focus.

Perfect.

- Good job, Illiana.
- That was exhilarating.

First shot. How did that feel?

That is nothing like
what the movies make it look like.

A million times better and more exciting.

Illiana, you'll apply this process
to everything you want to achieve.

Yeah.

What we'll do now is visualization.

Before we actually take this next shot,

we'll stand up straight,
get ourselves in the correct posture.

Push our shoulders down.
Look at the target. Close your eyes.

Now imagine you've loaded the arrow.

You've lifted the bow. You've drawn
the string back to your face.

You've taken the shot
and it's landed in the yellow.

You've set yourself up to do that.

Ooh, a new therapist.

I loved how goal setting
was a part of the archery lesson.

- One more time.
- All right, let's do it.

The stopping, taking a breath,
visualizing where I wanna go,

I definitely see myself applying that.

Perfect. Nice shot.

- Closer to the goal, Illiana.
- We're getting there.

One of the most rewarding things
about being a teacher

is seeing my students
accomplish their goals.

Whoo! Super close.

Good job!

Oh, that felt good.

And that
is what I saw Illiana do today.

I did a good job!

She came alive in a way
I hadn't seen before during my course.

Do you feel you're more confident
in achieving future goals?

Definitely, yes.

I feel every time I keep practicing
a bit more confidence,

I feel that A*DS doing better
'cause I'm not over thinking it.

And what about
that sense of accomplishment

when you fire a great shot?

Gosh. That feels amazing.

It feels like, okay,
I set out to do something,

and I've achieved this.

Even if it's just a bit closer
to the center, it's still amazing.

And you know what?
You haven't just achieved this.

You've also accomplished
something else, which is...

completing my course.

Oh! No way!

So...

That's fun.

Open up your graduation certificate.

How do I open this? This is beautiful.

Oh, nice. This is gorgeous.

It's been a great experience.

I'm officially a graduate,
certificate and everything.

Oh, I love that.

I feel really energized.

I feel like I've gotten to confront things
I haven't confronted in a long time.

And now I get to pick some goals.

It's official.

It's official.
You have completed my course.

Thank you. This is great.
It's a good feeling.

I'm so proud of Illiana.

She's become a better version of herself.

And at the end of the day,
that's what etiquette is all about.

- Give me a hug. I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you so much.

I found Sara Jane's lessons inspiring.

I'm back to running again
about three or four times a week.

I find myself having more energy.

Overall, I'm feeling fit and fantastic.

I recently started a new job.

Just getting back in there
and starting a new career is exciting.

I feel focused. I feel goal-driven.

I feel like a new person.

I feel like I got my sexy back.

I'm back to having date nights with Liam.

Hello.

You look beautiful, baby.

- Thanks, my love.
- For me?

This is exciting.

So for date night, I ordered
the world's sexiest food, sushi.

I feel you introduced me
to another sexy side.

So yum.

Exciting news. I'm pregnant again.

This time around, I feel better prepared.

I just feel like I know what to expect.

Liam's definitely loved
having his spicy Latina back.

I can definitely say the Latin spice
has been reawakened.