01x04 - Get That Schmoneyyy

[bunniefuu]

CHEERING

Sasha the Baddest.

You know? Come on.

I don't think marriage is the answer
for a lot of women any more.

Dreaming about the fairy tale wedding
was a waste of time.

I'm no-one's wifey,
and now I don't f*cking want to be.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And that's what
your new single's about.

Yeah. We're the ones in charge,
do you know what I mean?

You're moving like a real bad b*tch.

I don't know. Can I say that?
Can I say that?

CHEERING

Let's take it away.
Sasha the Baddest and Precious P.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

BIRDSONG

Hiya. You all right? Hop in.

I thought Mum was coming to get me.

Your mum's tired.

Sit in the front, will you?

You look lovely.

HE SINGS ALONG:
# Been around the world and I, I, I

# I can't find my baby

# I don't know when
I don't know why

# Why he's gone away

# And I don't know where he can be

# My baby

# But I'm gonna... #

Right, here we are. Home sweet home.

Hello?

Hello, we're here.

Oh! Smasha!

Oh!

Oh, I'm so happy to see you.

Oh, you look amazing.

Mum.

Do you want carrots?
I'm all right.

Your hair! Megan!

Phone, please.

Is that a weave?
How much was it?

Hi, Megan, how are you? Hi.

So how's the house...
So how are you? ..then?

I'm good. How are you?

So, your mum tells me
you've got a job.

Yeah, I'm doing some modelling bits
and recording my music.

It's good.

Wasn't easy to start with...

..but I'm a fast learner.

The clients, er, people I work with,

seem to...like what I'm...doing.

It's paid work, is it?

Yeah, I'm getting paid very well,
thank you.

That's great. Anyone we'd know?

Maybe. I've got
loads of label interest.

People that want to sign me.

Oh, my God.
How do you know Esmeralda? Who?

She's friends with my mate,
Carly Visions.

You do not know Carly Visions.

I live with her.
She's my best friend.

Go on her page
if you don't believe me.

Why would she want to live with you?

Megan! Is she a nice girl?

No, she's a nice girl, yeah.

She's basically famous. Mm!

Famous!

How did I not see this?

We're doing body positivity in PSHE

and Alice made this
digital mood board of Carly Visions,

cos she doesn't let
anyone police her naked body.

"Police her naked body"?

Yeah, cos it's like my body,
my rules,

so she can do whatever
she wants with her own body.

Well, you can't
if you want to get a proper job.

By the time I'm your age, everyone's
going to have naked photos online.

Why have you blocked me?

Er, I didn't know I had -
must have been an accident.

Yeah, well, can you add me back?

Cos no-one's going to believe
you're my sister

if you're not following me.

And cos I'm white and you're brown.

Megan! I can say brown.

Yeah, brown's fine.
I'll follow you back.

KEVIN CLEARS HIS THROAT

Right. Well, it's wonderful
that we could all be here together.

Every family has its ups and downs,

but you have finally fought
to make something of yourself.

I'm going to leave you
with this thought -

whatever you think you deserve
is exactly what you'll get.

Cheers.

ALL: Cheers.

It's OK?
LAURA CHUCKLES

This came for you.

It's the police.

About the fire.

"The victim has
dropped the charges.

"No further action."

Anton's dropped them.

Oh, that's relief, isn't it?

Yeah.

Glad all that's done with.

Can we take a photo?

Yeah, all right.

We could do a selfie.

Get our photo. Oh, all right.

All right.

SHE GASPS
Gorgeous.

SHUTTER CLICKS
Oh, very cool!

Yeah.

It's her new school -
she's struggling a bit.

You never had that issue.
You were always popular.

It's, er...it's nice.

I'm so glad we're back on track.

It's great, innit?
Make a lovely bedroom.

Did you tell her, then?

We're having a baby.

At your age?

I've been checked over, Sasha.

And, you know, when the baby's here,

maybe you can come and stay
in the spare room for a bit -

you know, when Kevin's mum's
not here.

It is brilliant news.

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Congrats.

Well, it's getting late.

Baby's tired. Mm.

"Go to bed already, Mum!"

Oh...

MELANCHOLY PIANO

# La

# La

# La
I

# I'm not even sure

# Why I'm here

# I'm feeling things
I've hid for years

# Tried to bury all my darkest fears

# Wishing they would disappear

# I'm too old to need the warmth

# From my mother's heart

# But I'm cold and tired
of hiding my tears

# I want to be loved

# I'm ashamed to say it

# I need to be loved

# But I'm nobody's favourite

# I'm nobody's favourite

# I'm not even sure
why I'm telling you

# I guess I'm hoping
for a breakthrough

# Maybe you noticed when I felt blue

# Maybe you didn't
and that's also true

# I'm too old to need the warmth

# From my mother's eyes

# But can you hold me
like you used to do?

# I want to be loved

BOTH: # I'm ashamed to say it

# I need to be loved

# But I'm nobody's favourite

# I'm nobody's favourite

# Grew up in a home
where I always felt alone

# I don't want to blame you

# But damage was done

# I'm ashamed to say it

# I need to be loved

# I'm ashamed to say it

# I'm nobody's favourite

# I'm nobody's favourite. #

What time's the train?

Ten past.

All right. OK.

Well, good luck with work, then.

Yeah, bye.

# Yeah, yeah, yeah... #
f*ck your family.

Mansion, poolside, LA,
hanging out with Kim Kardashian.

You're going to be at the Grammys,
performing!

London up in here,
what you sayin', America?!

Yeah, speaking of money, you need
to pay me for that job last week.

I'm having to give you commission,
and Giuliana?

That was the deal, babe.

Anyway, I'm going to be
running my own thing soon.

Forget Giuliana. Mm.
I'd do it better than her.

Right. See me?

Yeah. I'm nice cos I'm a white girl
with a big booty.

What?! Were you dropped on your head
as a baby?

You got a bum job.

A fat transfer...that I paid for.

BANGING ON DOOR
Hey, one at a time, please!

My mate's got diarrhoea.
She's sh1tting.

One at a time, please!

Sh! Hey!

BANGING ON DOOR
Out!

Oh, for f*ck's sake! Huh?

Carly. How are you?

Hey, babe. Good, thanks.

This is Sasha.

Oh, you all right?

Where do I recognise you?

I had this video, it went viral.

Oh, yeah! With Teeg Jones.

How'd it go again?

"There's a sexy nugget..."
THEY RECITE AND LAUGH

Yeah, it was really funny. Thanks.

Having a good night?

Try not to steal anything, hon.

Oh, come off it, Jade.
Don't start that sh*t again. Sure.

Well, hold on to your heels, girls.

Bye. Bye.

WHISPERS: What was that about?

I went to this party at her house

and she thinks
I stole her Jimmy Choos.

Did you?

Yeah. I've got 'em indoors! Carly!

Oh, come on, let's get out here.
Club's full of wrong'uns. Oh...

Jade.

Where's this driver, man?

GROUP CACKLES

Oi! Watch it, you tr*mp!

Er, Carly, man. What did you just
f*ck' say? Leave her, she's drunk.

Who asked you to talk?

You don't talk
with your f*cking zebra dress.

What did you say?! Oi!

Come on, then! Oi!

Hey, blud! It's just another day
in the West End, yeah?

HE LAUGHS

Oi, can you f*cking help us, bruv?

Are you Sasha? Yes!

All right, come on.

You f*cking slag.
I'll f*cking have you again, b*tch.

You girls are crazy. Stop, man.

Leave it, man. They're tramps!
I'll f*cking 'ave you.

Slag!

Carly, man!

f*cking had her.

Ra! You girls going to
give me five stars, yeah?

Oi! That is not good
for my f*cking brand.

I've got
240-f*cking-thousand followers.

Drive.

ENGINE STARTS

MUSIC PLAYS

I f*cking love you!

f*cking hell!

MUSIC CONTINUES
This part. This part is cold.

You hear that?

Yeah, sick.

SHUTTER CLICKS

You got some stuff you
want to try? Not really.

Actually, I did write
a bit of a song.

I just have, like, a kind of melody.

You want to sing it?

# She's a mermaid
That b*tch came out the water... #

Yo, hold up, hold up.

Um, right.

# She's a mermaid... #

One, two, three, four.

# She's a mermaid
That b*tch came out the water

# My best friend

# Yeah, I love her

# Swimming out to sea
and I-I nearly choked

# But I stayed afloat

# Yeah, I stayed afloat

# I found her and I know

# She found me
Let me go

# Yeah-eah, yeah

# Stole my soul
Let me go

# Let me go

# Let me go. #

I used to sing all the time.

I actually loved performing.
HE CHUCKLES

I don't know what happened.
I just lost my...

Writing's so pure
and it's like people judge

and you think, "Am I even good?"

You want to make the music
that you like, right?

I want to make money too.

Carly says I've got
all these followers now,

so it makes sense
to capitalise on that.

There's this open mic night
I'm helping to run.

Soul Flex.

You could try stuff out there.

Loads of people come down,
even A&R heads.

I've never sung my own songs
in public.

I might do it, if you're lucky.

I saw...

I saw that you've got a Daily Fans.

I was randomly on your page
and I saw the website.

You told me you don't have
social media. I-I don't.

But I-I just wanted you to know
that I know.

Are you being weird
cos you're trying to judge me,

or cos you liked what you saw?
I didn't see much. A-Anything.

I didn't stay on it.

And I'm not judging.

It's the 21st century.
Not like you're a prost*tute.

I don't know why I said that.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

SHE SCOFFS

I'm just saying, you know,
it's not as bad. It's not bad.

Loads of girls do it.
I know they do.

Look, can you...not tell Abi?

Yeah.

Whatever you want.

Sh, sh, sh.
She's coming, she's coming

ALL: Surprise!

You're getting old now, sis.

Happy birthday! Hey, thanks.

Did you come together?

We were in the studio.

Kobi told me about it.
Oh, right.

Er, can you call Mum back?
She says you're not replying.

Yes, massa.
THEY CHUCKLE

You look pretty.

Yeah?

So do you.

I'm going to get some food.

Is he tall? No.

Is he British? No.

It's a rapper?

Yo, Taylor, I'm really happy for you
and I'mma let you finish. Kanye.

Oh, that was easy.
No, no, no. Don't even try that...

Sasha! Look at you!

Oh, you all right? I see you
on the Gram doing up life.

I always said
you'd do big things at school.

Stop gassing me up. What's this?

Sasha is living
that influencer life.

Where you working now?

Invite me next time
you go out with Carly, innit.

Yeah, you can roll.
You can roll with us.

MUSIC: Best To You
by Blood Orange

You want to dance?

No-one's dancing.

She is.

Or...are you scared of my sister?

THEY LAUGH

Oh!

Yeah!

# Part of me is faking

# Faking it all just for fun

# Part of me is breaking... #

PHONE BUZZES

Er...

I'll be back.

Sasha.

Dionn.

Oh. I just clocked.
It's your brother's ex-girl.

The mad one that done the fire.

SOUND DISTORTS

Can I have a word with you?

Yeah, I was just
going to the toilet. One sec.

Hey.

Where you going?

Look, just cos you've seen my t*ts
doesn't mean I'm f*cking interested.

SOUND DISTORTS

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

HIGH-PITCHED RINGING

PHONE BUZZES

f*ck off.

TV: ..Tom in Newcastle, who says,

"I'll never let my kids
watch music TV channels.

"Too much sax and violins."

Get it - sax and violins?
LAUGHTER

We don't need any more brown sugar.
You know?

OK, so the ONS -
the Office of National Statistics -

has said that marriage
is still on the decline. Oh, no.

Heterosexual women are swerving men
like Lewis Hamilton.

HE IMITATES TYRES SCREECHING

LAUGHTER

Oh! But, seriously,
what are we doing wrong?

Because right now, women are like...
That's not normal.

He just wants to make sure
you're clean.

Why do you think
he's paying so much?

TV: You know, what even is that?
What happened to chivalry?

LAUGHTER

I want the top half.

OK. Good luck with that.

If he gets a bit weird,
just close your eyes,

think of something else.

Will he want us to do stuff,
like, together?

Maybe. You do stuff with Carly,
right?

Yeah, for work.

Not in a g*y way. That's cool.

I know, whatever.
Get that schmoney!

Ah. He's coming now.

Well, let's get it, then.

You like swallow, eh?

Yeah, I love to swallow.

He means the food.
It's called swallow food.

Hey, I've been teaching you, eh?

You know too much for jamoo.

Jamoo oyinbo.

THEY LAUGH

You're so silly, Uncle.

Take it, huh?

I can tell you are sweet.

SHE COUGHS

COUGHING INTENSIFIES

Oyinbo girl that cannot take it,
huh?

Well, you gonna take something else.
Hm?

HE CHUCKLES

THEY MOAN

I take good care of you,
don't I? Mm-hm.

I know you do, mami.

You want this, eh?

Oh, yeah.
Let me suck your breasts, eh?

HE CHUCKLES

Cradle me.

You like that, my big baby?

HE MOANS

You like that, eh?

You dirty sl*t.

You're nothing but a f*ck' h*.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

She's got a point. You know,
she's got a point. What do I know?

I don't think marriage is the answer
for a lot of women any more.

Dreaming about the fairy tale
wedding was a waste of time.

I'm no-one's wifey,
and now I don't f*ck' want to be.

CHEERING

And that's what
your new single's about.

Yeah. We're the ones in charge,
do you know what I mean?

Let's take it away.
Sasha the Baddest and Precious P.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You're nothing but a f*ck' h*.

MUSIC PLAYS

# Charge it
I'mma start sh*t

# Charge me up
I'm a boss b*tch

# Charge it up
I'mma a boss this

# Charge me up
I'mma get rich

# Charge it up
Ooh

# Charge it up
Ey

# Charge it up
Yeah, yeah, we charge it up

# Charge it up
Sasha the Baddest

# Charge it up
Yeah, we charge it up

# I'm a bad b*tch
Never, ever gonna quit

# Charging men a hundred quid
just to see my t*ts

# Yeah, he pay for dinner
but my purse be thick

# He don't need no breakfast
cos he ate my cl*t... #

PHONE CHIMES

# Another notification
That's paid baecation

# Somebody's son booking my vacation

# Sucking on my t*tties
Dehydration

# This big baby got a real fixation

# Said you like my brain
That you're glad you came

# b*tch of my word,
so don't underestimate

# Got a pretty face
but I still run the show

# f*ck it, if I was a nun
your mum would still call me a h*

# What I did for money
you would never guess

# Someone told me sh*t, I beg
f*ck boys cannot get this head

# I know that you're seeing red
Messages get left unread

# I repeat
f*ck boys cannot get this head

# Get your money up, I beg

# Charge it
I'mma start sh*t

# Charge me up

# She's a boss b*tch
Tell 'em

# Charge it up
I'mma boss this

# Charge me up
I'mma get rich

# Charge it up
Ooh

# Charge it up
Ey

# Charge it up
Yeah, yeah, we charge it up

# Charge it up
Charge it up

# Precious P
Yeah, we charge it up

# Bend my back, arch it up

# That's the way I like to f*ck
Give a f*ck

# Money's up
b*tch, I got that good suck

# Hide my face
Ballied up

# Give me everything you got

# Roley watch, Cartier jewellery
It's a pawn shop

# One-stop shop
Everything you want

# Tell me what you need
I can get it up

# I can make you bust
Lick it with my tongue

# I can make you come
if that's what you want

# I heard what you said
You're trying to judge me

# But I got a degree
B student, loan paid, G, rate me

# I saw what you post
Your move is shady

# But you tried to date me

# DM on the daily
Rate me

# Don't give a sh*t
'bout what you said

# Nuh-uh
Broke boys don't pay my rent

# No, they don't
f*ck boys can't get this head

# Get your money up, I beg

# Ch-Ch-Ch-Charge it
I'mma start sh*t

# Ooh
Charge me up

# She's a boss b*tch
Tell 'em

# Charge it up
I'mma boss this

# Charge me up

# I'mma get rich

# Charge it up
Ooh

# Charge it up
Ey

# Charge it up
Yeah, yeah, we charge it up

# Charge it up

# Charge it up
Get it

# Charge it up
Yeah, we charge it up... #

MUSIC DISTORTS

Weird! Boy, 20 minutes later
and my man is asleep?

Jeez! Oh, no, thanks.

No, you seem like a cool girl.

Have you heard of this thing
called the whorearchy? Mm-mm.

So, at the bottom, you got the
hookers standing on street corners

and in brothels giving blowies
for 50 quid, right? Mm-hm.

Then you got the sex workers.

You know, high-class girls
getting 20 grand for a sex weekend.

Or there's these half-wh*res,
like sugar babies.

Yeah. We're not any of those.

We're black.

So even though you may be
a high-class escort or a sugar baby,

you're not at the top
of the whorearchy.

So you need to make sure you're safe
if you want to earn good money

and not end up damaged or dead.

Right, be smart. Vet these guys
and take this sh*t seriously.

I'm mixed race, by the way.

You're still black, no?

Yeah, well, sometimes I can say that,

and then sometimes other
black people - not you, obviously -

don't like me saying I'm black.

Which is... I don't know,
cos white people call me black p*ssy

and then they pretend
they can't see my skin colour.

So, yeah...

Have you ever
been called the *-word?

No. No.

You won't get it as much as me,
but they'll call you it.

You and Carly ain't the same.

And make sure -
number-one rule, yeah? -

don't fall for any
of these dusty men, right?

Cos they're all full of sh*t.

They may not think it,
but we're really the ones in charge.

Hey, listen, that's facts.
OK, then!

Hello, Auntie.

You go now.

We haven't been paid.

How much?

KEYPAD BEEPS
It's 2,000.

But he said something about a tip.

It's just 2,000, Auntie.

Don't bring this one again.

You don't f*cking listen.

No wonder why Carly's got you.

DOOR SLAMS

JINGLING

Sasha?

What are you doing awake?
I waited up for you.

If you were talking to a guy
on Daily Fans

and he wanted to meet you,
would you go?

Well, it depends
how much he offered.

Anyone wants to meet ya,

bring 'em to me and I'll sort it.

Or I could sort it myself.

Don't forget I made you.

No, you never.

Jeez, I were joking!

I've got to look out for you.

You're my girlfriend.

It's cloudy.

I love clouds.

So do I.

The really white ones
with pink coming through.

And planes.

Do you like planes?

Yeah. I guess.

He's missed you.

Didn't you say that?

You seem well.

I am. I'm really good.

And you're roommates?

We are. Thick as thieves.

I love your dress, by the way.

How about coming to church
one Sunday?

Maybe.

But I don't...

You know I don't, not any more.

That's OK.
The Lord hasn't gone anywhere.

No, he's just raving it up
in the sky, catching joke.

Toilet.

She seems... She's a model.

She's not used
to, like, family stuff.

What does that mean?
Doesn't matter?

They told me Anton
withdrew his statement.

Did you ask him to? No.

Anton hasn't told me anything.

I've barely seen him. Oh, OK.

I'm sorry about before,
by the way.

I was just upset.

I know. You be careful. You hear?

Come to me if you need ANYTHING.
Promise.

Clarapay.

SHE EXHALES

I'm just going to the studio.
Last-minute thing. Cheaper rate.

Sash.

You know I wouldn't lie
to you again.

I know.

Lift going up.

Third floor.

Doors opening.

I'll be one second.

It's good to finally meet you, Lexi.

And you.

Sorry, I never wear a shirt.

Would you like some wine?

Yeah, go on, then.
Er...that would be lovely.

WINE POURS

Cheers.

Here's to a fun evening.

Cheers.

So you researched me?

Doesn't everyone do that?
Yeah, I suppose they do.

Well, yes, I'm the founder
of a fintech company,

which means we lend money
to consumers,

meaning they can purchase items
from merchants.

It's essentially a payment solution.
It sounds complicated.

You get people to buy things
they can't afford.

They fall behind.
Next thing you know,

debt collectors are at the door.
I know what it is.

The entire economy is run on credit.

Would you say that giving people
mortgages is a bad idea?

No, because people need houses.
People don't need games consoles.

Uh-huh.

Or designer coats?

I bought that with my own money.

HE LAUGHS

I thought you would be...

I don't know.

Because I like watching videos
of you eating biscuits,

you thought I would be a weirdo?

That is absolutely what I thought.
THEY LAUGH

Er, I'm not a weirdo.

I just enjoy hanging out
with different people.

It gets too lonely otherwise.

I guess I was
a solitary kind of kid.

I get that.

I was...kind of loud.

I always get too drunk.

I'm the only brown one at home.

My...family are all white.

Can be tricky,
being a combination of things.

Cultures. Yeah, can be.

I really want to kiss you.

Can I?

Mm-hm.

Shall we, um, go up to my bedroom?

If you want.

Yeah.

HE CHUCKLES

Kiss my caramel body.

What did you just say?

Um...

Kiss your caramel body?

Oh, for f*ck's sake, man.

SHE SIGHS

Sorry, I don't know what to say or...

I don't know what you want.
What I want.

You're paying me for sex, bruv.

SHE SIGHS
No, I'm paying you for company.

Do you want to do this?

Yeah.

How would you like to do this?

I want to have passionate sex.

OK.

And I want to be touched, a lot.

And...wanted.

And you have your hands all over me.

And I don't want to talk,
I just want to feel.

And you give me head, a lot.

And I want to be taken...

..when I decide to be taken.

# Charge it
I'mma start sh*t

# Charge it up
Yeah, yeah, we charge it up

# Charge it up
Sasha the Baddest

# Charge it up
Yeah, we charge it up

# I'm a bad b*tch
Never, ever gonna quit

# Charging men a hundred quid
just to see my t*ts

# Yeah, he pay for dinner
but my purse be thick

# He don't need no breakfast
cos he ate my cl*t... #

PHONE CHIMES

# Another notification
That's paid baecation

# Somebody's son booking my vacation

# Sucking on my t*tties
Dehydration

# This big baby got a real fixation

# Ch-Ch-Ch-Charge it
I'mma start sh*t

# Charge me up

# She's a boss b*tch
Tell 'em

# Charge it up
I'mma boss this

# Charge me up
I'mma get rich

# Charge it up
Ooh

# Charge it up. #