01x01 - Pilot

[bunniefuu]

[Suspenseful music plays]

[U*i] We are Worker Drones.

Autonomous robots helping humans

mine exoplanets

for our interstellar parent company,

JC Jensen, in Spa-a-a-ace

Yeah, we were mistreated

in the name of Windex,

but it's not like we revolted

and k*lled all humans or anything.

Mostly because they handled that

just fine all by themselves.

[Ominous music playing]

With biological life

wiped from the planet,

we found it pretty easy

to pick up where they left off.

We finally had a future

All to ourselves.

Unfortunately

Our parent company didn't exactly love

the concept of runaway AI.

[Mechanical whirring, chirping]

[ominous music playing]

[laughs]

But what have our parents done

for the past forever

while those things build

a spire of corpses?!

[Device chirps]

Hide under the ice

behind three stupid doors?!

It's like we're waiting

for an inciting incident.

Anyway, that's why my project is

this sick-as-hell railgun!

- [Overlapping chatter]

- That's so not the vibe!

Easy, morons.

It doesn't work

Yet. It doesn't work yet.

Who said it doesn't work?!

Maybe it does!

- [Cackling]

- [g*n whirring]

[sighs] U*i, the homework

was a word problem

about buying watermelons.

Oh, and this magnetically amplified

photon converger doesn't count?

No.

Plus, repressed emotional baggage

was only worth two points

on the rubric.

- [Electricity crackling]

- And is it supposed to be that color?

[Gasps] Huh?

[Muffled boom]

[muffled coughing]

- [indistinct muffled chatter]

- [footsteps pattering]

[Lizzy] Oh, here.

No, wait, hold on-- shh.

Eww. [scoffs]

It didn't k*ll her.

Oh, my God, I'm so bad.

- Ugh.

- [Chad] All right!

[Thad laughs]

Classic toxic masculinity, Chad!

That's never gonna end up problematic.

Oh, wow, U*i?

I heard you, uh--

I'm an angsty teen, Thad.

Bite me.

Also, how do you know my name?

- People willingly talk to you.

- [Chuckles]

Well, I'd say everyone

knows Khan's daughter, but, uh,

then you might blow

the other half of your face off.

[Pensive music plays]

Crippling daddy issues.

Hilarious.

What are you in for?

Testosterone too hard?

That can happen?!

Awesome.

Hey, those bandages

look pretty badass.

Oh.

E-Eww, gross.

I hate that you said that.

So, what's the, uh

Sick-as-hell railgun? [chuckles]

Sci-fi nonsense that super works.

I'm sneaking

to the m*rder Drone lair tonight

to get the last spare part I need

to save the world with it

and earn my dad's respect,

and stuff.

Uh, but mostly the world part.

Oh.

But doesn't your dad

make awesome doors

so we don't have to, uh

Do that scary-sounding,

emotionally repressed stuff

you just said?

No more feedback

on my repression today!

Ow! I'm sorry.

I didn't think--

Bite me!

I'm not mad you, by the way,

just generally hormonal!

[Eerie wind blowing]

[alarm beeping]

- [alarm stops]

- [interface chirps softly]

[dramatic music plays]

[music stops]

[door creaks]

[dramatic music crescendos]

[mechanical parts whirring softly]

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [wind howling]

[fan blades scraping softly]

[clicks tongue] Ugh.

[Keypad chirping softly]

[gasps] Oh, Robo-Jesus!

And where might you be off to?

Mm, sneaking out to make out

with my boyfriend that I definitely have?

[Laughs] Seriously, though.

[Groans] Okay, okay. You caught me.

I need to measure the exterior

hydraulic mechanisms of door one,

because that's

The project I'm working on for

School?

A big old door!

[Laughs awkwardly]

Just like what my old man built.

[Laughs]

I wanna join the WDF

and hide behind doors like cowards

while playing cards and stuff.

[Chuckles]

Well, we don't just play cards.

[Man] Khan, can you grab a fresh pack?

We literally only play cards so much

that the numbers have faded.

Oh! Hey, U*i.

[Chuckles weakly]

- [remote beeps]

- Well [chuckles]

When you build doors so good

Good door. Gooooood door.

There's no need to fight.

U*i, this is great news!

Here, the wrench I used to tighten bolts

on my first door prototypes.

And to put your mother

out of her misery

when the m*rder Drones got to her

with that nanite acid.

I want you to have it.

Neat. Therapy is fun.

[Khan] Guys! My daughter is into doors!

[All cheering]

- Aww, come on!

- Not my flush!

She's gonna be outside for a bit

to examine the exterior of door one.

Your door-specific destiny awaits!

Uh, wow. Okay.

Just gonna leave, then

Cause this worked so weirdly well.

Uh, go, doors! [laughs awkwardly]

[suspenseful music plays]

[sighs] They grow up so fast.

[Suspenseful music builds]

[inhales deeply and exhales]

[metal creaks]

[snow crunching]

[glass crunches]

[wind howling]

[music stops]

[gulps]

Ugh.

[Arm thuds softly]

- [mechanical whirring]

- [gasps]

[heavy thud]

- [metal crunches]

- [oil dripping]

[tense music plays]

[g*n clacking]

[yelps]

[g*n clatters]

[grunts]

Whoa. And they said pirating

all that anime was useless.

[Gasps]

Ugh! [wails]

[shouts]

[yelps]

[gasping]

[g*n c*ck]

[through speaker]

Bite me.

- [g*n clicks]

- [laser warbles]

[alarm beeps]

[electricity crackling]

[thud]

[gasps] Holy hell.

Suck on that, Dad!

- Huh?

- [Strange mechanical warbling]

[liquid metal sloshing]

- [alarm beeping]

- [panting]

[grunts]

[interface chirps]

Did you just slap me with that arm?

Holy crap, it talks.

Yeah, sorry. It's just my, uh,

head kinda hurts.

Hey, are you new to our squad?

You're a little, uh

[Interface chirping]

short for a Disassembly Drone.

[Rising tense music]

I'm serial designation N!

Nice to meet you.

I'm kind of the leader

of the squad in this city.

That's not true. Everyone tells me

I'm useless and terrible.

Wait, I'm not supposed

to tell you that part!

Biscuits. [sighs heavily]

Well, honesty is the best policy.

[Chuckles]

I also can't seem to remember

the past three hours of my life.

Ah, but I'm sure that'll sort itself out.

[Chuckles]

Uh-huh. I, uh, have to go.

- [Hisses through teeth]

- [winces]

- [groaning]

- Oof, stuck yourself?

Just pop it in your mouth.

Our saliva neutralizes the nanites.

Otherwise, I'd be constantly

disassembling myself.

Heh!

And by "our saliva," you mean

- Disassembly Drone?

- Disassembly Drone?

Right.

Hey, let's go in that

landing pod over there.

Sure! I love doing anything!

- Bleh.

- [Saliva dripping]

Sweet. Uh [chuckles]

I'm open to new things, I guess.

We are never talking about this.

Talking about what? [laughs]

Consider it, uh, repressed.

Uh, you mentioned

other members of your squad?

They coming back soon?

Oh, yeah. Two others.

Uh, they're out hunting for a bit,

but you'll love them.

First, there's V.

- [Grunts]

- [man] No, no!

Please, don't feed me my own entrails

in front of my family!

- [Clamoring]

- [girl] Daddy!

- [Man] Oh, my God!

- [All screaming]

- [squelching]

- [blades slicing]

[laughs]

And yet, I still feel nothing.

So, V, uh [chuckles nervously]

I heard this planet-wide toxic death storm

is supposed to be

especially inhospitable tonight.

[V] Oh, God! Who are you?

[Shock wave booms]

Uh, no worries! I'm N!

But a whole letter

is a lot to remember!

[Chuckles awkwardly]

So, obviously a lot

of mutual respect there.

But secretly, I actually

kind of have a crush on her.

You can't tell her, okay?! [chuckles]

Uh, then, there's J, our leader!

[J growls]

N, you're worthless and terrible.

- [N choking] Thank you.

- And if the company allowed it,

I would straight up k*ll you myself.

J's awesome.

Hey, let me give you the tour.

Outside of the corpse

Wall thingies.

In here are the buttons!

[Beeping]

This isn't just a landing pod.

This is a spaceship.

This could get us off the planet.

More of a one-use m*ssile.

They never taught us how to land.

No, I-- uh--

Uh, the Worker Drones.

We could work with them to fix this.

Instead of all the m*rder!

Which, uh

Why are we doing that again?

Other than ingesting their

[Spooky voice]

warm, sweet

[Normal voice]

oil to avoid overheating and dying?

I guess I just want to be useful.

I was given a job,

and I always wanna try my best.

And look at all the respect

it's gotten you, N.

You really think the company

isn't going to dispose of you

once all the workers are dead?

Oh, my! You sure are rebellious.

It's kind of exciting.

Uh, but not as fun

as, uh, following the rules.

[Metallic thumping, banging]

Hey, they're back! You'll

Uh

[J muffled] Idiot, get out here!

[Panting]

[tense music plays]

[laughs]

Yo, we got a worker out there

I kinda wanna practice

balloon animal shapes with.

What happened here?

Synergistic liability here

must have tripped

and knocked himself offline.

[Interface warbles]

[J] Moron bot. Hello?

[Interface warbling, chirping]

You really think the company

isn't going to dispose of you

once all the workers are dead?

- Bite me.

- [Static crackles]

Oh.

[Dramatic music playing]

Ohhhhh!

[Stammering] You know, I left

an extremely dangerous weapo--

Uh, an excuse outside.

[Panting]

- [chuckles] I am out, boys.

- Oh, gosh darn it.

Wait until my loving wife

and kids hear about this.

- [Wind howling]

- [all chattering]

[U*i] Ugh, bite me. Close it, close it!

[Metal creaking]

[suspenseful music playing]

[metal screeches]

[N] Hey, fellas!

Ooh, deal me in! I love Rummy!

Wait, no. [sighs]

I'm going to m*rder everyone.

Rain check!

[Yelps]

[door gears hiss]

- [indistinct chatter]

- Oh, God!

[Chuckles] Um, actually

it's Gin Rummy, so

[Dramatic music playing]

[g*n beeps]

[hollers, grunts]

[panting] Hey, U*i! I just realized that

no one has said my name aloud so far,

so I'm just letting you know, I'm R--

[Slurping]

[arm clicks]

[grunts]

[music stops]

[wind whistling]

- [Khan] Pretty nice hydraulics, huh?

- [Gasps]

[dark musical sting plays]

Wha-- What have you done?

[Dramatic music playing]

This time, I won't miss.

[N chuckles] I'm sorry.

I really enjoyed our time together.

But I can't have you

sh**ting V with that thing.

Bite me. Dad, get down.

U*i, you led a m*rder Drone here?!

[Tearfully] My beautiful doors!

Now is so not the time!

I messed up,

in the same way I'm about to fix it.

Move, Dad!

[Coughs and gasps]

Dad! Point and sh**t!

Trust me! [panting]

[tense music playing]

Dad?

- [Remote beeps]

- [door thuds]

[distant alarm blaring]

[J] Whoa, N.

- [Grunts]

- [giggles]

- [yelps]

- Am I dreaming?

Or did you do something

not useless for once?

I've been trying to get past

those doors for months.

Nice work, N.

You me name remember?

These ventilation shafts can

easily get us around this last door.

Lowest body count eats a m*ssile!

[Giggling]

[J] Way to go, stud.

- The company's gonna love this.

- [Chuckles] Ow.

With this colony wiped,

we'll make top team this quarter for sure.

[Sing-song]

You know what that means.

Branded pe-ens!

- Ooooh.

- [J chuckles]

[curious music plays]

Uh, you know, not that I can't wait

to keep murdering all these

Maybe not-so-actually-different

from us Worker Drones,

but just out of curiosity,

do we actually, uh

[Hisses through teeth]

know what the company plans

to do with us afterwards?

Excuse me?

Okay, so, a Worker earlier

might have suggested

that they could fix up our landing pod

to, uh, escape the planet, and stuff.

Which, whoa, hey!

That's against the rules!

But it is kind of making me question

why our pods were only-one way

in the first place.

Cause, you know,

I get the feeling

the company doesn't

actually love robots,

and, like, we might be robots?

I've made a terrible mistake.

It's cool how immediately I could tell.

Hmm. No way, buddy.

Questioning the company?

You just finally gave me

the excuse I needed.

- [Metallic thud]

- [grunts softly]

- [metal hissing]

- [device chirping]

Worker Drones are corrupted, N.

That's why the company sent us.

I hate to see you corrupted as well.

[Stuttering, glitched speech]

Thanks, J.

Always looking out for me.

- You're awesome.

- [Scoffs]

[melancholy music plays]

[glitched speech continues]

Ah, biscuits.

I'm sorry. I ruined your card game,

then made you have

an awkward moment with your dad.

And I made you rebel like an angsty teen,

which got you k*lled.

Though, you also tried to k*ll me,

so morality calls this a draw.

[Metal scrapes]

[grunts]

[groans and pants]

[groans]

For the record, that was

the lamest heel-face turn in history.

Was that supposed to be

you switching sides?

Being rebellious is a lot harder

than it looks.

Thanks for showing me the ropes.

Nuh-uh. No bonding thing.

You just k*lled a bunch of people, idiot.

That's super fair.

[Sighs] I screwed up.

[Clicks tongue, groans]

In the same way you're about to fix it.

[Intrepid music plays]

[laughs] I love doing anything.

[Thad screams and grunts]

- [coughs]

- [menacing laughter]

[blades ringing]

So, they found our evacuation spot.

But if we build a quick door

[Thad grunting]

[spits] Are you kidding me?

You're the WDF, right?

Defend!

[Suspenseful music playing]

- For real?

- [Laughing]

- Ack!

- [Grunts]

[yells]

- [grunts]

- [exclaims]

[laughing]

- [U*i] Hey!

- Huh?

[U*i] Put that conventionally

attractive male down.

[Dramatic music plays]

[groans] Oh, uh

J, you're sometimes

kind of mean to me,

and I wish you weren't.

Just some constructive criticism.

- Nice.

- Heh.

- [J growls]

- [yells]

[J] Noted, traitor.

We'll circle back after

I right-size your existence.

- Okay, which one do you want?

- J, please.

- Too bad. Good luck.

- [Pen clicks]

[grunts]

[screams]

[giggles]

[grunts]

[growls]

[energy booms]

[growls] Damn the well-made,

quality-assured durability

of JC Jensen products!

Huh?

- [Grunts]

- [screams]

[grunts]

[giggles]

[screams] My mind's in a weird place!

Don't read into this!

[N shrieks]

[growls and yelps]

[growls]

[cackling]

Yah! [laughs]

- [laughing]

- [both grunting]

[groaning]

[giggles]

U*i!

I'm so, so sorry.

Have fun repressing this!

- Bleh

- Eww!

- What the hell?

- [Air whooshing]

[yelps and grunts]

[straining]

[J chuckles]

You've got a lot of guts

for a barely sentient toaster.

I've had prey fight back before,

but your edgy spirit is just so

- [Crunch]

- Painful?

[Screams] Fourth quarter profits!

Mother of company leadership retreats!

One more buzzword, and I'll do it.

[g*n whirring rapidly]

Equity partnersh--

[Grunts]

[spits]

- [all cheering]

- [applause]

Holy hell, U*i. That was insane!

And you, too, uh

Huh? Oh, uh, N.

I'm an angsty, rebellious

Disassembly Drone now.

[Khan clears throat]

- [somber music plays]

- [wrench clatters]

[U*i] I brought the m*rder Drones

here accidentally.

You chose to leave me for dead

instead of just frickin' believing in me!

And that's not even an edgy teen hyperbole

like when I said it last week!

[Sniffles]

[interface chirps]

[sighs] I'll save you the trouble, Dad.

I banish myself!

Let's go, N.

Everyone here can bite me.

- [N] Nice to meet you, Mr. U*i.

- [U*i] Shut it.

- [Grunts]

- [yelps]

[slurps]

[suspenseful music plays]

[N] I'd join you

if the sun didn't k*ll me!

Hope you're having important

character growth or something, though!

Just can't wait

to m*rder all humans. Classic robot stuff.

I hope they're sitting pretty

there on Earth,

cause we're coming for them.

[Cackling]

[dramatic music plays]