01x08 - Corrupt, Black-Hearted Knight

[bunniefuu]

d*ck festival!

d*ck festival!

d*ck festival!

d*ck festival!

d*ck festival!

d*ck festival!

d*ck festival!

d*ck festival

I guess I need to say it

in front of a full audience.

I get it.

Girls your age need to blow off

some steam sometimes, right?

N-No!

You're the one who changed the prayer!

What are you talking about?

I wouldn't do something so stupid.

You're kidding me

Did he really forget?

So, what did you want?

It must be something important

to bring me all the way out here.

I called you out here because I have an

important manner to discuss with you, Six.

I'm sorry, Tillis.

I appreciate the interest, but I'm not up

for girls who are as conniving as you.

That's not what I meant!

I need to ask you to do something!

And I am not conniving!

I wanted to talk to you about

this artifact that makes it rain.

Ever since it broke, our nation

hasn't had enough water.

We've been importing Water Stones

from Toris, the kingdom next to us, but

Since the artifact is fixed,

we stopped importing so many.

But then when it was time to use it,

my father didn't want to say the prayer,

and so he vanished

You say it, then.

I'm sending Snow to Toris as a messenger

while we to search for my father.

I'd like you to escort her.

Why bother? You say it.

We reduced our imports once and now

we're asking to raise them again.

Negotiations will be difficult.

So why don't you just say it?

But Toris's crown prince is famous

for his tastes in the opposite sex.

So if we send Snow, a girl who is pretty,

even if her personality is worthless--

Listen to me!

You're freaking me out,

and that's saying something!

Let me finish.

If something bad happens,

I want you to protect Snow,

and hopefully catch him in the act.

If he tries to seduce a messenger,

that's an international incident.

I'm sure the negotiations

will go much smoother.

In my country, we call that blackmail.

If you accept, I'll give you

the information Alice wanted.

Information?

Yes.

Information on all the various ruins

throughout the continent.

There's actually an

unexamined ruin in Toris

"Episode 8:

'Corrupt, Black-Hearted Knight'"

Wow, Commander!

The scenery is just flying by!

--I am the wind!

I've become the wind!

--Hey Grimm, sit down. You'll fall off.

--I am the wind!

I've become the wind!

Hey, Six. Any interest

in selling this magic item?

I know a place that'll buy rare goods.

Look! The deadly heggs

are like purple daidai snails!

I'm going to shake them off.

I'm speeding up!

Oh, no! Grimm will be eaten!

What did I just say?

Why do you always take damage

before the fight even starts?

You're the messengers from Grace, right?

Yeah, that's right.

Welcome to Toris.

Engel, the crown prince,

has prepared a banquet for you.

Splendid! I am Snow, the Kingdom

of Grace's royal guard commander,

and Princess Tillis's personal knight.

Oh, a pleasure.

You know, I've never actually seen

your nation's Water Stones.

I've heard they're quiete beautiful.

I'd love to see one for myself.

I see.

I'll prepare a few as gifts.

If you'd be so kind as to share them

with Princess Tillis

Leave it to me!

--By the way, the vehicle we bought

can carry "a lot," not just "a few."

--Shouldn't we stop her?

--By the way, the vehicle we bought

can carry "a lot," not just "a few."

At this level of civilization,

bribery is a normal part of doing things.

Hey, Commander

What do you think about this dress?

Wow, you healed up already?

Is it sexy? Is it sexy?

You're at least a decade too old for it,

is all I can say.

Oh Great Lord Zenarith,

bring woe this man!

Give him the curse of impotence!

I missed.

You shouldn't have even tried!

What are you doing?

Let's go, everyone.

As representatives of

the Kingdom of Grace

We need to be appropriately beautiful.

Leave it to us!

Hey, Six.

What do we do this about?

--Wow! Harmel, you're so young,

but so talented!

--We picked the absolute

worst person for the job.

--Wow! Harmel, you're so young,

but so talented!

Th-Thank you by the way,

Miss Messenger.

"Miss Messenger" is so formal!

Just call me Grimm!

Um, no. Also may I ask why

you aren't wearing shoes?

Religious reasons.

I'll stab her from behind.

You tell everyone she's not

feeling well and then drag her out.

That might work for Grimm,

but what about her?

Yummy!

I've never eaten

so much yummy meat at once.

Glad to hear it.

But um, you shouldn't eat the bones

--If she doesn't call it quits soon,

--The bones are nice and crunchy, too!

--I'll mix a sleeping drug that could

knock out an elephant into the food.

--The bones are nice and crunchy, too!

Got it. That takes care of two of them,

but the real problem is

Is Prince Engel here yet?

He's the prince of a resource-rich nation,

soon to be king.

If I can become his queen,

I'll be set for life!

A prince might sound like a sweet deal,

but supposedly he's balding,

fat, and a philanderer.

Tell Snow and bring her

back down to earth.

No, let's not say a word.

We can watch Snow get her dreams

shattered when she sees him.

You really are an as*h*le.

Crown Prince Engel has arrived.

Prince Engel! Hello, there!

My name is Snow. I've come from Grace!

--She's not bothered in the slightest!

--I'm honored to meet you today!

What a beautiful ambassador.

Thank you for coming all this way

Beautiful? You're embarrassing me!

And you, Prince Engel,

have such a stately physique!

A broad, handsome face!

You're making me dizzy!

I underestimated her.

Me, too.

She'd fall in love with a slime or an orc,

as long as they had a lot of money.

How wonderful.

Miss Snow, I know what I look like.

You don't need to flatter me--

You're plenty attractive!

Look into my eyes!

Are these the eyes of a liar?

It's true. You don't seem to be lying.

Come on, man. Have some pride.

I think he's blind.

Thank you. I guess there are

girls like you out there, huh?

So, you came here to talk about

the Water Stones, right?

Why would you talk about that when

I'm trying to passionately seduce you?

I'm afraid I don't follow.

If I tried anything with

an ally's messenger,

it'd be an international incident!

How cowardly!

I heard you were a letch! Was that wrong?

Isn't it rude to call someone

a letch when you've just met?

She's beyond saving.

How dare you deceive me?

If you had a fiancée,

you should've said so!

I don't care if you're kind of hot! You'll

pay for toying with a maiden's heart.

Miss Grimm, please calm down.

Silence! Oh Great Lord Zenarith,

bring woe this man!

Drench him with water!

Go on. Laugh.

Laugh at this pitiful woman!

Watch me get rejected,

then mess up my curse!

Watch me in all my shame, and laugh!

Hey, Alice, can you believe it?

These guys work for me.

I think you're a good match.

"I have a bad feeling"

"Staying Home"

Are guys with looks and money that great?

Normally they'd be showing

interest in me by now, right?

You'd prefer a girl who's pretty,

sexy, and devoted, right?

If that's what you want, buy one

of Kisaragi's new X-Rated androids.

Did you just say, "pretty

girl pervert android"?

No.

I did not say "pervert."

I found this when I was walking around

the castle pretending to be "lost."

What do you think it is?

I know the answer.

They're growing something

really nasty in here.

A homunculus or a clone or something.

It looks like a cold sleep capsule.

No, it's definitely a device

for making hot girls.

Don't touch that!

You morons! Do you know

how important that is?

Who's the shrimp?

I'm Agent Six. I'm an important ambassador

from the Kingdom of Grace, or something.

Watch your mouth.

Agent Six?

Gadalkand lost to a guy like this?

"Gadalkand"?

The Demon Lord's leader that you k*lled.

I guess Heine was right. You're dumb.

My name is Russel. One of the

demon Elite Four, Russel of the Water!

What's wrong, Russel?

Gotcha!

I don't know what you're doing here,

but I got myself a sexy leader!

Hey, Alice, warp in some handcuffs.

On it.

Stop it, Six!

I'm not your enemy today!

Listen to me!

Let go of Heine!

Oh, you don't see your buddy?

Well done, Six.

--You earned evil points!

--You're using a woman

as hostage against a child.

I've never respected you more.

Okay, Russel, was it?

Just stand there and watch

what happens next.

Heine, you know what happens

to female leaders

--You earned evil points!

--when they get captured

by the enemy, right?

--when they get captured

by the enemy, right?

--You earned evil points!

--when they get captured

by the enemy, right?

--You earned evil points!

--S-Six, wait! This time we're really

--Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle.

--That tickles!

--Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle.

--You earned evil points!

--That tickles!

--Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle.

You're a fine example

of an evil combat agent.

Show me how you've mastered

the art of being a small-time scumbag.

Are you complimenting me or insulting me?

Let Heine go!

It's cowardly to take hostages!

Your side's been doing

basically the same thing, right?

Stop it!

Kiddy leaders like you say stuff like,

"Hey, can I make him my toy?" or "Aww,

I'm bored with him, so I'll break him!"

I know your type.

I don't say that stuff

often.

I said

Listen to me!

And let go of me!

You earned evil points!

Hey, baldy!

I want an explanation, and I want it now!

What's going on?

Guards! Guards!

I heard what you're up to.

You're selling Water Stones to the demons,

and you're going to form

an alliance with them!

Wh-What?

Not an alliance!

A non-aggression pact!

We know we can negotiate

with the demons now.

Of course, we won't go to w*r with you.

Wait, Prince Engel.

You know why the demons

waged w*r on humanity, right?

Of course I do.

The gigantic demon beast that turns

the land to desert, the Sand King,

has invaded their lands.

And they have no choice.

That's right!

As long as the Sand King is there,

eventually their land

will be uninhabitable!

They're just pretending to want peace!

And more than that, if you're selling out

when the rest of humanity is

coming together to fight them

The other countries

might think you're a traitor!

She's started to threaten him!

No, if you're willing to call

off the w*r, we are, too.

You liar!

I won't forget the sacrifices

of the men who died,

and I especially won't forget

what you did to my sword!

We lost Gadalkand, too,

so I don't think you can talk.

And thanks to Prince Engel,

we think we can handle the Sand King.

Supposedly, the ancient ruins

in this country contain something

that can defeat him.

Ruins? What Tillis was talking about

Got it?

If the Sand King's gone,

there's no need to fight.

But you're threatening us

The Water Stones you refused to take,

we took off their hands instead.

And now you want to start

importing them again? I think not.

We demons and the Kingdom of Grace

Who is your real ally?

You'll chose us, right, Prince Angel?

I let myself get a bit out of hand

back there, but I believe you!

Why don't I show you just

how good friends we can be?

Y-You

Prince Engel, I'm, uh

well your friend, too

You're seducing him? And you call

yourself a member of the Elite Four?

You should be ashamed!

You're one to talk!

Prince Engel, I'm more attractive, right?

You'll choose me, right, Prince Engel?

Prince Engel!

--Why is this balding old guy

turning into a harem protagonist?

--Prince Engel?

--Why is this balding old guy

turning into a harem protagonist?

--Choose me!

--Why is this balding old guy

turning into a harem protagonist?

--No, choose me!

--Isn't that supposed to happen to me?

--No, choose me!

You're just a lowly combat agent.

Don't get c*ck!

Let go of him!

No, I appreciate the thought,

but I don't think diplomatic matters

should be decided this way.

Prince Engel, what's happened to you?

You're not like the rumors I heard at all!

Before now, you couldn't

take your eyes off my t*ts!

What changed?

I'm not sure myself,

but right before this party began,

I felt myself be reborn!

How could I have let myself comport

in such a matter before this?

Prince Engel, I may have

a terrible personality,

but I'm confident in my face and body!

Prince Engel, I'm actually

a really supportive girlfriend!

I think you'd be better off

with a human, not a demon!

Prince Engel, I'd be much better

You're such silly girls.

I'm telling you I'm not interested,

and you don't listen.

He's starting to talk like

a libido-less protagonist.

Even when I heard Astaroth was

in the bath and went to peek,

and then I saw Tiger Man naked instead

even when the combat agents who joined

years after me got promoted ahead of me

And even when the hero kicked my a*s,

I didn't feel this defeated.

What's wrong, Six? You look like

you've made some big decision.

You're not about to do

something stupid again, right?

Sorry, Alice.

I'm about to go crazy.

Will you watch over me?

Sometimes, a man's gotta do

what a man's gotta do.

I don't understand, but I'm your partner.

And your co-worker

at an evil organization.

No matter what you do, I'm with you

to the end. So don't worry.

Thank you, Alice.

You know, I never liked you

from the start!

The way you expose those melons

hanging off your chest to seduce men!

I'm not exposing anything

or seducing anybody!

What?

--What about you?

--Engel, right?

Can I do a party trick to get

this party back on track?

A trick, you say?

Go ahead.

Okay. Stay put.

Hey, Six. You're not

Here I go, mister.

This is, perhaps, my country's

most famous trick.

The topknot!

You earned evil points!

The actions of your ambassadors

have gone beyond the pale.

The Kingdom of Toris hereby declares w*r

on the Kingdom of Grace.

We will also be stopping

all exports and initiating all manner

of economic sanctions.

If you would apologize,

hand over your two ambassadors.

If you fail to do this

we will resort to force,

and get our revenge in blood.

I certainly didn't expect

such talented ambassadors

to bring back a declaration of w*r.

Well, can't change the past!

Let's focus on the future!

You idiot!

You know, I'm amazed

we made it back alive.

Why did you something so stupid?

What do you mean "stupid"?

That's a traditional

party gag in my country.

If that's true,

your country is screwed up!

Well, you've certainly

made a mess of things.

Snow, I'm removing you from the position

of commander of the knights.

I just got it back and now

I'm demoted again!

It takes time to prepare for w*r, so they

won't be able to attack immediately.

But how do we get the water?

You know, the artifact

that makes it rain is fixed!

Since we can't find the king,

you'll have to do it yourself!

I have the perfect idea.

You know about the mysterious water nut,

which only grows in

the middle of the Tezan desert,

inside the Sand King's territory, yes?

Yes, I'm told you can get a huge amount

of water from a single nut

You don't mean

Go get it.

No! No! No!

Going inside the Sand King's

territory is suicide!

Don't worry. The Sand King

is only active in the day.

We just go in at night and grab it,

and we're done.

I'll make them pay

I'll make them pay

Harmel and his fiancée

Gilbert and his wife

I'll make every man in that country pay.

Hey, Grimm, I've been wondering

about something

If it's a stupid question, I'll curse you.

Yeah, it's about that curse.

That thing I dodged--

what happened to it?

Well, it would've kept going until it ran

into another life form and activated

The curse of impotence

that flew out of the room

The lecher prince that suddenly

lost interest in women

Hey, Commander, wouldn't it be sexy

if we had our own little secret?

Nope.

Guys, get this!

This woman did something awful!

I protected Snow's chastity!

We girls need to protect ourselves

You're too old to be a girl.

Oh Great Lord Zenarith,

bring woe this man!

Make him unable to masturbate!

Hey, don't do it!

If you do that,

I'll just use you instead!

My doll!

Knock it off, you guys.

"I went to a party at a castle!"

That's not a report!

Six is having a good time, huh?

While we're exhausted

fighting all these heroes!

Parties are dull!

"Next time: Episode 9:

'Carnivorous Female Chimera'"

That's right. The ugly people in power,

and the masses that suck up to them.

"Next time: Episode 9:

'Carnivorous Female Chimera'"

Bribery everywhere.

Disgusting backroom deals.

A stench of corruption

that assaults the nostrils

What?

It's much more fun to hang out

with your friends, right?

Sheesh

Anyway, I got the sugar recharge I needed,

so I'm off to go do some work.

Me, too!

Okay, when we beat all the heroes,

let's have a party.

Yay!