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02x07 - Episode 7

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Cheaters". Aired: February 8, 2022.*
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A chance meeting after a cancelled flight leads to an unlikely night of drunken airport-hotel sex between two strangers in their late twenties, Fola and Josh.

02x07 - Episode 7

Post by bunniefuu »

DOORBELL RINGS

Ah, can I help you?

Erm, maybe? I'm
looking for Josh.

Ah, right. Well, erm, if he's not
over there, he might be over here.

All right, OK.

Erm, thank you.

Yeah.

So, the clues are there.

Cool. Have a quick look.

Right, so, in your pairs, you can
use the evidence in front of you.

Esther, are...
Are you all right?

Yeah, don't let me hold you up.

Erm, I don't have anyone.

No pair.

Oh, yeah, right.

FRONT DOOR SHUTS

Hey, everyone.

Fola, can we...

Wha... What you doing here?

I'm sorry to interrupt, I
just need a couple of minutes.

Privately.

Absolutely not the time, Zack!

I mean, why are you even here?

Oh, great. You've
brought a date with you.

Oh, no! Yeah, not my type.

Erm, Josh, can we
have a quick word?

Jekka?

All right, Esther?

What are you doing here, Jekka?

So... Sorry, who are you?

She was in our year at school.

Didn't you get kicked
out for sniffing pens?

No. What?

I... I still don't understand
what you're doing in my house.

Oh, yeah, sorry...
Sorry to interrupt.

I just wanted to give
this back to you, Josh.

You left it at mine last night.

Ah...

And, look, I didn't want to
do this in front of everyone,

but a bag of rice doesn't work
- still don't have a phone.

Oh... So, erm...

Well, I think
you're really great.

And I had a nice time.

I just didn't feel like the vibe
was there at the end. Mm-hm.

You know? Yep. Sorry.

Yeah?

That's it.

What is she talking about?

I, erm... HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

I-I can see how this
looks, and it's not that.

It looks very bad, Josh.

I feel like I might have
put my foot in it a bit.

So you bailed on dinner with me

so that you can go on a
date with someone else?

That feels weirdly familiar.

It really isn't
what it seems like.

It wasn't a date.

Well, drinks and a snog...

Seemed like a date to me.

SHE SCOFFS

Oh, Josh!

It wasn't a...

This has all been
a misunderstanding.

How? How could this
be a misunderstanding?

Oh, wait, are you with her
or are you with Esther?

Lol! Jekka, I'm
sorry, can I just...

TEARFULLY: I'm
talking to you, Josh.

I'm trying!

I-I-I was trying
to do the right...

I swear to God, if you say that you
are trying to do the right thing...

Now, we've talked about it
and set the, erm, rules,

I would never do that.

Never? Cheers!

Well, I feel you trying
to f*ck your old flame

would always be against
the rules, mate.

I wouldn't say old
flame, exactly.

We went to school together.

I don't remember you, Jekka!

I don't remember being at school
with you! I don't know who you are!

JEKKA COUGHS

I should go.

I'll show her out.

ESTHER CLEARS HER
THROAT FRONT DOOR OPENS

FRONT DOOR SHUTS

I'll walk you to the bus stop.

You that lady's
butler or something?

I'm her husband,
believe it or not.

Hate to break it to you,

but I think she
might prefer Josh.

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

So, the thing is, you...

You said you wanted
space, and Zephyr said...

Who or what is Zephyr?

She was saying that
most people now

are non-exclusive until
they talk about it.

So why didn't you
talk to ME about it?

Because you were
freezing me out!

I was not.

You introduced me to
Tiwa as your friend.

Do you know how that feels?

So would you blame me for
thinking you wanted me

to be with other people? Yes!

I would have thought
you'd know what it's like

to feel lonely in
a relationship!

Oh, no, Josh.

GROANING

You know, I think that the only
reason that we got together

was to work out that our
relationships weren't working.

I don't think that we
were meant to survive.

Don't say that.

Maybe you guys should
just take a beat...

Don't defend him.

I'm not defending him.

Like, he's not the only one
who's been keeping secrets.

What does that mean?

What DOES that mean?

Like, if I was seeing someone,
even if I wanted to take it slow...

SOFTLY: Don't you dare, Tiwa.
I would at least tell them...

Don't you dare! ..that
I was thinking about

going to work in New York!

Ugh... Oh, God.

WHISPERS: It's getting worse.

New York?

SHE EXHALES

What are you even
doing here, Tiwa?

Now you can get out, too.

Yeah, everybody, out!

What, me? Where
am I meant to go?

Mate, you OK?

I guess we should
all just go home?

Well, I don't massively
have anywhere to go.

ESTHER: No, let's
just go back to ours!

There's no reason
to cut it short yet.

It's Josh's birthday!

Afterparty! Afterparty!

Right. Come on, pal.

JOSH: Do we have to?

Afterparty!
Afterparty! Afterparty!

KEYS CLANG

Lars?

Lars, you in here,
mate? DOOR SHUTS

Yep, nope, he's definitely gone.

Josh, are you going to
share that out or what?

No. OK.

Right, there's...

Ooh, there's Cointreau!

Although it expired in 2019.

Does Cointreau go off?

I don't really know
what Cointreau is.

I should go back. N...
No, you shouldn't.

Look, if I could just explain...

Isn't this whole thing about
you not giving her space?

Not really. Yeah, no, it is.

Well, now that's what she
needs more than ever, OK?

I will drag you
back if you go, OK?

I'm stronger than
you still. Ugh.

Er, that's bleach.
That's fire extinguisher.

Oh, yes, Baileys! Get in!

Why's it so warm?

Think the heating pipe
runs through this cupboard.

Don't worry, though,
we've got ice.

We don't have ice.

MUSIC: Never Be A Good Time To
Fall In Love by Dane Etteridge

Oh, Josh! It's a party! Put
something on we can dance to!

You want something
we can dance to?

Yeah. Fine!

Sparklers!

Oh!

Ooh. Come on,
everyone, liven up!

ELECTRO DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

I'm starving. Who
else is starving?

Whoo! What is this?

Dance music.

Literally dance music. It's
what you all asked for.

ESTHER SHOUTS: Carbonara!
Who wants a carbonara?

DOOR SHUTS

Why don't I make
you something fresh?

FRIDGE OPENS

Oh, no, you don't
have to do that.

So, the party wound down.

FRIDGE SHUTS
Where'd they all go?

DRAWER OPENS

I kicked everyone out.

DRAWER SHUTS I'm sorry
- about all that.

It's just... humiliating.

I feel really...

I just feel empty.

INDIE POP PLAYS

Correct me if I'm
wrong, by all means,

could you not have just asked
if she wanted to be exclusive?

No! Why not?

Well, because then she
might have said no.

THEY SCOFF Come on.

You need to be able
to communicate!

What about you two? You're not
communicating about your sex stuff.

Mm. That's different.

Is it? Because you're not
really talking to me about it.

This family...

Do we have to do this now?

What if you're only
attracted to Zendaya now?

Or what if I've f*cked everything
up by slowing the baby stuff down?

I think Zendaya's actually
with the Spider-Man guy now...

Shut up, Josh! I don't
care about Spider-Man.

Yes, shut up, Josh!
What we talking about?

OK, let's give these two
space, actually. Come on.

I get that you're not ready.

But how long are you not
going to be ready for?

MUSIC: Intimidated by
KAYTRANDA ft. H.E.R.

See, that's better.
Come dance with me.

No, I don't feel like dancing.

It's your party,
you have to dance.

HE SCOFFS

Whoo! Oh, God! Where do you
keep finding these things?

We have a drawer of them.

♪ Open water

♪ Just what you wanted... ♪
SHE LAUGHS

You just look like
you're doing the robot!

I'm copying you!

♪ So don't leave me drowning

♪ Don't let me down... ♪

NINA: It's not even
the tip of the iceberg.

Like, what if it doesn't work?
Or what if we're bad at it?

There's never going to be
a good time, all right?

But we're a team.

So sorry to interrupt,

but do you think maybe you
should talk to your brother?

Why? I feel like
they both might be

about to do something
they're going to regret.

They're adults.

Do you know what? I've been taking
care of that idiot for years.

How hard can a baby be?

Mm, if it's anything like
Josh, imma send it back.

THEY CHUCKLE Let's go.

DOOR SHUTS ♪ Too
busy reading minds

♪ Already made it here

♪ Don't overthink when
you could be lovin' me

♪ When you could
be lovin' me... ♪

SPRAYING DROWNS OUT MUSIC

THEY SPIT

What the hell?

You people!

Do you know how far
you have to push things

to make me the responsible one?

Absolute nonsense.

Mm. Mmm!

SHE CHUCKLES

I'm glad it's just us two.

So we can talk?

So I can k*ll you
without witnesses.

HE CHUCKLES

I deserve that.

It was an insane thing to do,

calling off the
house sale. HE SIGHS

I just...

You just...?

I just didn't want
to let you go.

I couldn't admit it was over.

You were always very
attentive to me...

In some ways.

MUSIC: You & Me by Disclosure

Yeah.

♪ Gonna be you

♪ And me

♪ Gonna be everything you

♪ You ever dreamed

♪ Gonna be you

♪ And me

♪ Gonna be everything

♪ Gonna be you

♪ And me

♪ Gonna be everything you

♪ You ever dreamed

♪ Gonna be you

♪ And me

♪ Gonna be everything. ♪

SHE SIGHS AND MOANS

MOANING CONTINUES

SHE GROANS

SHE PANTS