02x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

This programme contains strong language
and some scenes of a sexual nature

♪ Ice cold water
running through my veins

♪ Got a bad taste in my
mouth from bitter tears

♪ Heart feels sad
cos love's gone bad

♪ I see a rainbow all in black

♪ Must be a sign you
ain't coming back

♪ Wake in the night
calling your name

♪ I see a face on my window pane

♪ I've been this way
since you've been gone

♪ Without your
loving I can't go on

♪ Look in the mirror... ♪

Oh, sh*t!

Look who it is!

Look, look, my big
sister turned up!

It's so good to see you! Oh!

Well, I wouldn't have missed it.

Yeah, you would've.

I don't think you've been to one
of my birthdays since my 21st.

Yeah, well, it took me
that long to recover.

Oh, man, your eyes when
we got to the club.

You were like, "Where's
the wine and cheese?"

Excuse me!

I am a...

..club... monster.

That place was just sh*t.

Yeah, you're right.

It was sh*t.

Did you get me a present?

Shut up, man. I'm
here, aren't I?

What would you like to drink?

Hello, mate!

What...

What's happening?

Who's this?

Hi!

Hi.

Josh, not to be rude,

but you did say you were going
to be out for the whole evening.

Oh, well, sorry, Nina,
I didn't know Esther

would be joining l*sbian Book Club
after being away for six months!

LGBTQ+ Book Club,
Josh, for God's sake.

And this is meant to be
a cis-het free space?

What about this random guy?

Lars, this is Josh, my ex.

Josh, this is Lars, my current.

Current... boyfriend?

Hi, I'm Lars.

We met in Thailand.

And I think it's OK that I'm
here, cos I'm a little bit bi.

The thing is, they don't
have anywhere else to go.

It's my flat.

I don't have
anywhere else to go!

Well, why not?
What have you done?

It... it's my flat too. I've actually
just been telling Asma and Carly

all about why I haven't
been here in a while.

Yeah, we know all
about that now.

And we think you're a prick.

Me? I'm at peace now though.

For ages I was f*cking furious.

I kept having all these,
like, stabbing dreams

where I just stabbed you loads.

But then I went away, and everyone
I met was, like, mega fit.

So I shagged a lot of them.

Not like loads, but, like, like a
good amount, like a healthy amount.

Good for you. And then I was
on this beach in Phuket, right?

And Lars was inside me

and I was, like, coming,
like, really f*cking hard,

and then it was almost like a
religious experience or something.

Thanks, babe. I just...

I figured we are all made up of the
same atoms and energy and stuff,

and so there was no point
in being angry any more.

So, yeah, we're all good.

But I do need to stay somewhere

and I think they'd love to finish
talking about their book so...

Er...

I don't know if you ever
got that email I sent?

About changing the
broadband? No, not that one.

Which one then?

No, about me and...

..Fola...

..are sort of still...

..happening.

Yeah, I know, I did
get that one, yeah.

They're "taking it slow",
not exactly Josh's speed.

Georgia!

God, you're like
Free Willy, mate.

What? You've spent so
long in, like, captivity

that you don't know how
to survive in the wild.

And if you're not smart, you're
going to get eaten by a shark.

Oh, my God, is that what
happened to Free Willy?

Oh, yeah.

Huh.

I hear you.

I should go and
put things right.

I don't know if that's
what I was saying?

We'll be finished
in hour or two.

What's so LGBTQ+ about Prince
Harry's autobiography anyway?

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

So, like, I'm in a relationship
with Yas, and also Roddy,

and Yas is also kind
of seeing Giovanna.

That sounds like swinging, mate.

Sounds like car keys in bowl

and then lots of little
bits of pineapple.

I don't understand.

It was a '70s...

It was a '70s thing.

Oh, you were alive in the '70s?

Ha! f*ck off!

Just joking.

No, it's... No, it sounds,
it sounds great, man.

Like, um, hope that
you are all happy.

Always room for
one more, you know.

Tell me you're not
hitting on my sister.

I don't see a ring or anything.

She's literally just
getting divorced.

Tiwa, don't tell people that.

What, you don't want to mess with
your Little Miss Perfect image?

Little Miss Perfect? What...

Fola!

Ah... Do you know that guy?

Surprise!

Er, how did you know
that I'd be here?

It's the Legion, you
said you'd be here.

Although turns out there
are tonnes of Legions,

but you said it casually,

so I figured you were
coming to the nearest one.

Anyways, um, I couldn't
go home, long story...

Well, I could,
but I wanted to...

Hi!

I'm Tiwa.

I'm Fola's sister.

Er, this... This is Josh.

My neighbour Josh.

Well, my... my friend...

..Josh.

Oh.

That's me.

Friend

and neighbour.

Happy birthday! Um...

God, it looks like I've got
a, a lot of catching up to do.

Can I get you a drink?

That's very kind of
you, friend Josh.

What is going on?

f*cking idiot.

Can I help?

Sorry! I probably look mad.

I, I'm... I'm not mad.

Can I have a sambuca and,
um, four Pilsners, please.

Thanks.

HE BURPS Oh!

Just playing catch-up.

That was delicious.

I might never want to leave if
you keep feeding me like this.

We might never let you
go! Oh, we definitely will

cos we need the room back
for my mum at Christmas.

You'll be rid of me by
Christmas, don't worry.

Over by Christmas!

Like World w*r I.

How's the house
search coming on?

Ah, between you and me...

..I think I might be
slowing that down.

Oh, we've heard this one before.

I just have to give Fola and
me one more shot, I think.

It's important to know when to
move on, too though, isn't it?

Yeah, maybe.

But thank you.

Seriously.

For everything.

Isn't it nice to meet nice
people on the internet?

Isn't it?

Right then.

Shall we?

♪ Sometimes I feel I've got to

♪ Run away, I've got to... ♪

You like what you
see, don't you, Zack?

Yes, ma'am, yes, I do.

Would you like to see
me make Monica come?

Yes, sir.

I would, very much.

Careful of the duvet
when you get there, love.

It only arrived last week.

I will, I promise.

♪ I've lost my light

♪ For I toss and turn
I can't sleep at night

♪ Once I ran to you

♪ Now I'll run from you

♪ This tainted love you've given

♪ I give you all a
girl can give you

♪ Take my tears And
that's not nearly all

♪ Tainted love Oh-oh-oh

♪ Tainted love

♪ Now I know I've got to

♪ Run away I've got to... ♪

I don't believe you.

Yeah, well, believe what
you want. I'm not blind.

There's definitely a vibe there.

Nah, we're just friendly.

Friends.

Friendly friends?

Hey!

Happy birthday!

Did you get me a drink, Josh?

Oh, yeah. Ah!

You don't really
like beer, do you?

I'll go get one myself, I guess.

WHISPERS: Don't.

So, happy birthday again!

Thanks! Again.

Mine's in a couple of days.

No way! A pair of Pisces.

That's right! Pisces
sun, Sagittarius rising.

Ah! A proper romantic!

So, you live across the
street from Fola? Yes, yep.

Um, we actually met in Finland.

At the airport there.

And then...

Um, and then we discovered

we live across the road from
one another when we got home.

Wow! Crazy.

Yeah.

Must be nice to be mates
with a neighbour anyways.

Our downstairs one actively
wants to m*rder us.

Oh, God. And I'm
not even kidding.

He put a letter under our door

and it was written in
either blood or sh*t. Jesus.

Like, it didn't stink, and
blood dries brown on paper,

so probably blood.

Urgh!

Well, Fola hasn't
done that to me yet.

So, you must've
known Zack, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I
know all about Zack.

I met Zack. No way!

Oh, yeah, I... I... I
know Zack very, very well.

Oh.

Well, we... we were actually...

No, um, no, no.

Shouldn't.

Oh, you definitely should.

You were shagging Josh when
you were still with Zack?!

Oh, what the f*ck, Josh?!

I didn't actually say anything!

No, I-I get it.

He's like a sexy Paddington.

Oh, my God, I love Paddington!

Oh!

You know what would've
avoided this altogether?

If you hadn't tagged along when
I specifically asked you not to!

I really didn't want to,

but Nina and Georgia were
still doing their thing,

and then Esther got back.
Esther's back? When?

Like two hours ago, so,
I couldn't stay there.

Well, go somewhere else!

It's late! Well,
places are open!

Like what? I don't know!
Kebab shops! Sex shops!

Sex shops? Other pubs! There are
12 million pubs in London, Josh.

You didn't need to
come to this one

when the whole point was
me wanting some space.

I'm sorry. I am REALLY
sorry. Oh! I just...

I messed up earlier, I just
wanted to put it right.

And, and I... I'm...

I'm just really worried, that I'm
used to having someone around.

Like, being in a relationship,
you know? I just...

So, what? You're just
replacing Esther with me?

Oh, no!

No, that is not what I meant.

That's what it sounded like.

I feel like I've made this
worse. Yep, you definitely have.

I think you should go.

Are we breaking up? No,
we're not breaking up, Josh!

But I don't want to move in with you
and I... I can't hear myself think.

Just...

Just go home.

Hey, I, er, I didn't mean to
get in the middle of anything.

Well, that didn't work, did it?

Anything you want to talk
about? Nope, absolutely not.

I'm, like, really sorry
about things with Zack.

No, you're not.

You never liked Zack.

No, but you did.

So, I'm sorry.

This Josh guy, he
seems like a good dude.

So, what are you afraid of?

♪ Too much history

♪ When we say goodbye

♪ Cross my heart
and hope when I die

♪ It's with you Baby

♪ Only you Baby

♪ Feeling used Baby

♪ Believe me So am I

♪ Fixed my broken heart So you
could break it one more time

♪ It's a broken record

♪ We play every night

♪ Can't get you out my
head You're on my mind

♪ Nothing hurts like love

♪ Nothing hurts like you

♪ Mix it with the drugs

♪ And the Absolut

♪ All these sleepless nights

♪ Got me terrified

♪ When you say you're leaving

♪ You mean it this time

♪ Too much history
When we say goodbye

♪ Cross my heart And
hope that when I die

♪ It's with you Baby

♪ Only you Baby

♪ Need you with me
on the other side

♪ Cross my heart And
hope that when I die

♪ It's with you Baby

♪ Only you Baby... ♪

Oh, my God! Oh, my f*cking God!

You are incredible!

You feel incredible!

Oh, my f*cking God!

Aargh!

♪ Nothing hurts like love

♪ Nothing hurts like you

♪ Mix it with the drugs

♪ And the Absolut

♪ All these sleepless nights

♪ Got me terrified

♪ When you say you're leaving

♪ You mean it this time

♪ Too much history when
we say Goodbye, bye

♪ Cross my heart And
hope that when I die

♪ It's with you Baby

♪ Only you Baby

♪ Need you with me
On the other side

♪ Cross my heart And
hope that when I die

♪ It's with you Baby

♪ Only you Baby

♪ Too much history
Only you, baby. ♪