01x09 - Episode 9

[bunniefuu]

You stupid caveman! Whoa...

Hey, Fola, I'm sorry.

Is that your first reaction
when you sleep with someone new,

you send them a picture
of your d*ck?

Hey, whoa! I... Hey. The last time
I slept with someone new,

I didn't have a camera phone.

That's not the f*cking point, Josh.

OK, is the only reason you got me
here to yell at me, or...

No.

Well...

..yeah, partly.

I just needed some company.

Oh, Fola, I am so...

I am so sorry.

It was completely out of line.

You didn't have to wear a suit.

No, it wasn't, ah...
Never mind.

Ooh, can I have some of that... No.

You're not forgiven yet.

But you can buy me a drink.

Oh.

Get the door.

SHE RINGS DOORBELL

Esther.

Sorry. I wanted to...

What are you doing here?

I live two streets from
where I grew up.

I work at the same stupid school
that I went to.

No offence.

I've been with Josh since I was 17.

And we...watch TV.

We go to the pub.

I get drunk, probably
a bit too much.

And we have sex,

and every time it's just like,
in, out, in, out,

and then it's done.

And that's my life.

Esther...

The only thing that shook things up,

it was when you and me hooked up.

No.

Esther, you shouldn't even be here.

Who's your friend?

f*ck. Sorry.

I had a party at the school.

I'll just give the keys.

I'm the wife.

She probably hasn't mentioned
that I exist.

No.

Erm... But nothing happened.

Look, Meera, can we just
talk about this...

I should probably...
Yeah, you should.

Yeah.

SHE SHOUTS: I'm absolutely...

MUFFLED SHOUTING

Can I try and explain myself?

You can try.

I was trying to keep things
casual, you know, like we said.

But I'm just not very good at that.

I mean, the last time
I flirted with someone,

I ended up going out with them
for 11 years.

And counting.

Yeah, and...

I followed some advice
from an idiot,

and, you know, you mentioned
that you liked my, erm...

p*nis? Yeah, that.

That doesn't mean that I want to
see a picture of it, Josh.

No, I know. I know.

And I haven't really known
if I was coming or going all day,

because...

..I keep thinking about you.

A lot.

Like, all the time.

And, you know, I know
that's not an excuse.

I'm... I'm a f*cking shithead.

You know, I deserve everything
I get, frankly. And you should...

OK, all right, don't blow
a blood vessel.

Hi. Erm, G&T and a pint, please.

Erm... And some nuts, chilli ones.

So, erm...

I saw an ex tonight.

I wasn't meant to.

It's been two years.

So that... That's why I asked you
to come and get me.

Me and Connor - that's...
That's his f*cking name.

We used to do this sort of thing.

Er, he would, erm,
take pictures of me,

which had better lighting
than yours, I should mention.

Yeah, I mean, they were in
the loos at work

so it wasn't ideal.

I knew that he was a dirtbag
at heart, but we had this...

..thing, you know? This crackle.

Hm.

But it wasn't THE thing,
so I broke up with him.

And he took that badly, and he...

Sorry, er...

He...

He sent those pictures,

and a video actually,

to my friends, and my boss

and my parents.

Oh, f*ck. Fola, I...

If I'd have known, I'd never have...

Mm.

Yeah, well.

I went freelance,

I mostly stopped seeing my mates.

And some of them took his side,
said that I was overreacting.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Then I met Zack.

And he made me feel...

..safe and secure and, erm...

Yeah, well, I didn't...

I haven't told him about
any of this.

I felt like I wanted a fresh start.

Now I come to think of it,

it's not really a good reason
to marry someone.

There are worse reasons.

At least you didn't marry f*cking
WikiLeaks Connor.

Oh! Josh, you can't joke about that.

I figured you could take it.

I really like talking to you.

I really like talking to you.

I have a confession.

I stole your parcel.

Aha!

If you wanted a copy of
a travel guide to Finland,

you could've asked me.

I wondered where that had got to.

Yeah, well, it's out of date anyway.

So it's not much use.

Erm... I should go inside.

Anything you...

..need?

All right, OK. You should...
You should go.

Go on, f*ck off.

KEYS RATTLE

PHONE VIBRATES

Oh.

I thought that maybe you were
still at the party.

No, I've just been waiting here.

Oh...

Oh.

# Making a toastie,
a cheese toastie, yeah!

# Bread and cheese,
cheese and bread... #

Oh, f*ck.

I'm so, so sorry I had to bail.

You're a sh*t for leaving me there.

But it's really good, this.

Thank you.

I used that posh cheddar.

Marry me.

Let's get married.

I thought you didn't wa...
I didn't.

Now I... Now I do.

I want to marry you.

Marry me.

Please?

MUSIC: Leadlight
by Julia Jacklin