01x08 - Back to the Roots

[bunniefuu]

[wind blowing]

[Lightning] Don't worry, cowboy.

IN TRIBUTE TO
MORRIS AND GOSCINNY

I'll let you live.

- But it will be worse.
- [metal clangs]

[rumbling faintly]

[wind blowing intensely]

It will be worse
because I'll be all around you.

[panting]

Far into the desert.

In everything you hear...

[clanging]

...my name will be there.

[breath trembling]

In everything you see...

[clanging]

...my name will be there.

[high-pitched ringing]

In the whispering wind...

[exhales softly]

...my name will be there.

Under each heavy footstep you take...

[breath trembling]

...is my name

My name will be that wall
you endlessly run into.

[ominous whistling echoes]

And you'll be afraid, cowboy.

Afraid even of your shadow.

[shuddering]

[ominous whistling continues]

- [♪ tense music playing]
- [Young Luke breathing heavily]

[ricochets, g*nsh*t echoes]

[squelching]

[♪ ominous music playing]

[breathing heavily]

[screaming]

[♪ western music playing]

CHAPTER VIII
BACK TO THE ROOTS

[birds cawing]

ALBUQUERQUE


[flies buzzing]

[birds chirping in distance]

[horse whinnies]

[birds continue chirping in distance]

[Charlie] Lincoln's convoy
passed through here.

Not far from where we used to live.

[Louise] You okay?

I'm doing well. Why?

Well, we're gonna have to face
the man who almost k*lled you.

It's more like he's gonna have to face us.
[chuckles softly]

Okay, so here we are.

I'm being serious,
and you're acting all tough.

Well, of course I am.
Because we're three against one,

and together we're stronger.

[Louise] I'm so scared
something will happen to you.

[birds shrieking in distance]

[horse brays]

[distant explosions echo]

[♪ tense music playing]

[distant explosions continue]

[♪ tense music continues]

[g*ns firing]

[people chattering indistinctly]

[Luke] It's the convoy.
Looks like they're boxed in.

Look at the soldiers on the ground.

The bodies with the gray and red uniforms
are Sentinels,

the President's personal guard.

They were obviously blindsided.

[g*nshots continue, echoes]

[ominous whistling echoing]

[Lightning] In everything you hear,
in everything you see,

my name will be there.

[Charlie] Yoo-hoo.

Hey... [snaps fingers]
Analysis of the situation.

Okay.

Uphill, there are shooters
hiding in the rocks.

And downhill,
the wagons have been blown up.

But no cannon fire.

So either they're out of a*tillery,
or they've been sabotaged like that one.

- [people screaming in distance]
- [g*ns firing]

Did you hear that cracking?

It's a Sharps 59.
It's coming from the wagons.

[Charlie] There's a sn*per
keeping the enemy in check.

With all the sentinels that have fallen,
he won't hold that long.

In other words, we need to figure out
how to cross a 300-yard open field

with a bunch of heavily armed,
trigger-happy idiots watching us.

Yeah. [sighs]

We're gonna need a battle plan that's...

- Daring.
- Imprudent.

Suicidal.

Stupid, then.

[both] Stupid.

[crows cawing]

[♪ whimsical western music playing]

- [man 1] Just give up.
- [man 2] Freeze!

[men grunting]

[g*n fires]

[♪ whimsical western music continues]

- [man 3] This is the one.
- [man 4] Up there!

[sighs wearily] Stupid.

[g*n firing]

[grunting]

[♪ intriguing music playing]

[g*nshots ricochet]

[panting]

[grunting]

- [man yells indistinctly]
- What?

It worked in The Odyssey.
Ulysses hid under the sheep's belly.

The problem, bushes just don't walk!

- What was your idea? You drew a blank.
- [g*ns firing]

- [cracks]
- [Luke grunts]

[grunts softly, inhales]

[man screaming] Ceasefire!

I surrender!

No more lives.

Do you hear me?

I surrender!

But my Winchester doesn't!

- [♪ military flute music playing]
- It's the President.

[grunts]

Move it! Hurry up!

[g*nshots ricochet]

Hurry.

- [man groans]
- Whoo!

Hell of a change from Congress.

[♪ battle song continues]

[Lincoln] They should leave us alone
for a while.

Abraham Lincoln, 16th president
of the United States, ready to serve.

[laughs]

I'm so happy to see you, Luke.
How long has it been?

- Almost three years, Mr. President.
- [Lincoln] That's so funny.

I was thinking of old friends,
how I should invite them to Washington,

and pow, here we are together
under siege in New Mexico.

Talk about kismet.

We're not here by chance, Mr. President.

What do you mean?

[♪ intriguing music playing]

There's gonna be a coup?

Come on, we just won the election.

Really, these guys have no patience.

No, but they do have g*ns, Mr. President.

- So we're here to rescue you.
- [g*n fires]

Oh, is that why you brought your team?

Now I get it!

Between us, the lonesome cowboy
who doesn't wash, talk, or smile.

A bit outdated and cliché,
if you know what I mean?

- Does make me sad, though.
- Are your defenses strong?

Yes, of course.

At least so far.

They attacked us by surprise,
but my men fought tooth and nail.

I sent a fire team behind enemy lines
to neutralize their cannons.

The mission must have been successful.
Otherwise, they would have wiped us out.

But none of them came back alive.

Ever since then, we've held on.

- Did you try to escape?
- [Lincoln] Of course.

But from above, they've got us
surrounded on all three sides

And ever since they captured
our wagon over there,

they've closed our rear flank.

Okay, we're surrounded.

However... Mmm.

Luckily, we have an excellent sn*per
to keep the enemy in check.

Me.

[♪ military flute music playing]

[man groans]

[g*n fires in distance]

I've always been a Wild West man at heart.

I can feel it in my bones.
It awakens something in me.

I feel so much more alive.

And if there's one thing
that I've learned so far

is that the river rat
needs to come home right now.

[echoing]

The river rat
needs to come home right now!

[man] The river rat can't right now.

It's a code.

I sent him to retrieve
the a*mo off the bodies.

River Rat Bambini!

I mean, Corporal Bambini,
come back right away!

- [g*nsh*t ricochets]
- [whimpers] Impossible.

What do you mean, impossible?
What's wrong with you?

- [b*llet ricochets]
- [yelps]

What are you waiting for, Bambini?

- For Congress to pass a law against lazy--
- [g*n fires]

- [Bambini] Mr. President.
- Look over there.

[g*n firing]

Ah, it must be one of the men
I sent to sabotage the cannons over there.

[♪ gripping music playing]

[Lincoln] Come on, hurry up.

- [Bambini panting]
- That's all? How many are there?

Thirty-seven.

Count them again.

- [exhales]
- [shushes] It's fine.

I'd lost hope, Sergeant.

Pierce, Mr. President.

[g*n fires in distance]

[inhales] I'm the only survivor.

It's as bad as Gettysburg.
It's not a pretty sight.

[Pierce sighs]

Permission to resupply
and go back and fight,

- Mr. President.
- [g*n fires in distance]

All their cannons are destroyed,
but they still have shooters.

- [Lincoln] Nice work, Sergeant.
- Breathe. Come on.

Hey, the other side of the lines,
did you see where the enemy was hiding?

[softly] Yeah. Why?

Because we're gonna need you.

[eagles cawing]

[clinking, thuds]

Well, we don't have enough
b*ll*ts to hold them off.

- Oh, Bambini can always go and find some.
- Huh?

That won't help in the long run.

[whimpers softly]

[Luke] Mr. President,
we have to attempt a breakout.

You want us to flee? Like Southerners?

I don't take sides, Mr. President.
I take action.

[clinking, thuds]

This is the rallying point.

We are in the middle.

The enemy is here and here.

Because you already eliminated


they will have to redeploy.

He's right.

Thanks to the President's sharpshooting
on their left flank,

they all rallied here
and found shelter on the higher ground.

Which means that...

by crossing both of their firing angles...

[Louise] Now there's a blind spot.

[Charlie] But the last ten yards

before the rallying point
is exposed to rain.

Which means we'll die.

Unless, of course.

We could cover our entire bodies
with metal plates. Look at these.

They put a bunch of these
all over the wagons.

We'll slide these under
our clothes to protect us.

We're gonna destroy 'em.

Mr. President,
with all due respect to you,

- I honestly doubt--
- Well, if push comes to shove, it fails.

We run away, Zee wins,
the system collapses,

she kills people
and makes Bambini your toy.

Wait, what? Now, why would I become a toy?

And as for me, I'll fake my own death.

Then I'll come join your little team.

Then, altogether, we can go
to the plains in South Dakota.

Just a bunch of outlaws hunting outlaws,

tracking men and rewards, the renegades.

Okay. Or we evacuate
in two separate groups.

You three go with Pierce and Bambini
to find reinforcements.

They've already crossed enemy lines,
they'll be able to guide you.

The men and I
will create a diversion to fool them.

They'll concentrate their g*nf*re on us
so you can escape.

We'll hold them for as long as necessary.

[birds chirping]

Let's go.

[♪ solemn western music playing]

[Louise] You can't stay here.

I mean, we need you. With us.

Right now, they need my help here.

What if something goes wrong?

I've got things to tell you.

One more reason to save the country,
and its freedom of speech.

Eh?

Don't worry.

[♪ solemn western music continues]

You'll take care of the girls?

Uh, I mean, all of them.

- Everyone.
- [Pierce chuckles softly]

[g*n fires in distance]

[wind blowing]

[g*ns firing in distance]

- Hey, you okay?
- No.

For courage.

[sighs in relief]

Mr. President.

Would you like some?

[g*n fires in distance]

Just a second. Can I try?

[thuds]

I know that smell, and I know you

[sniffs]

It's chloroform.

It's chloro-what?

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

What the hell is going on, Pierce?

That's not Pierce.

He took the uniform off his dead body,

But he forgot this little detail.

The Red Badge of Courage.

It's for those who fought in Pittsburgh.

Except he couldn't have been there.

It happened on the same day
as the worst battle he ever saw.

Gettysburg.

Almost 200 miles from Pittsburgh.

Sentinels.

[♪ tense music playing]

[g*ns firing in distance]

[thunder rumbling]

[♪ ominous music playing]

[thunder rumbling]

[thunder rumbling]

[whistling ominously]

[shudders]

[ominous whistling continues]

[♪ western music playing]

[♪ eerie chime music playing]

[thud reverberates]

[ominous whistling continues]

[clicks]

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

But the right question isn't that.

The right question is...

are all of your weapons
pointed the right way?

- [shudders]
- [g*n clicks]

[♪ gripping music playing]

[♪ music ends]

[♪ solemn guitar music playing]

We've been waiting for your signal.

[horse clops]

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

OF THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO
IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE

AND THE SELF-DETERMINATION
OF THE POPULATION

[♪ suspenseful music continues]

[eagle screeching]

[inhales, sighs]

I put you all the way over here

so you could enjoy
the scent of the pine trees.

It's impressive how smells
can bring back memories.

As I recall, we're not far away.

It's like coming home.

You can smell gunpowder...

- Fear.
- [shudders]

- Blood.
- [muffled g*n firing]

Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you.

Look at the one who spared your life

when he could have
easily k*lled you instead?

- [spits]
- [gasps]

[grunts softly]

[♪ slow, dramatic music playing]

Hmm.

[Zee] It's time for you to sign, Lincoln.

Eight letters, one period, and it's over.

You really think I'm gonna
hand you over New Mexico?

Yes. And in all legality.

A first step in renewing
the United States.

Or plunge it into chaos?

How dare you mention chaos
when you've destroyed all our values?

You promised everything to the people,
including freedom to all.

Freedom to speak, think, and own land.

That's not what the people need.

All they need is order
and rules to follow.

To know where their place is.

So I'll make sure it all gets restored.

All empathy and progress.

Even your pathetic abolition.

- I'll dismantle everything.
- Yeah, great fantasy you've got there.

How many men do you have left? Four.

Exact number of times I'll politely ask.

And I politely ask you to f*ck off now.

[groans softly]

One down, and next will be your private,
and I'll rip his eyes out.

- After that, your corporal.
- Not her toy.

Not her toy.

[♪ tense music playing]

[g*n c*ck]

I'll sign.

I'll sign.

This is bad.

[Louise grunts softly]

[snaps]

[Charlie whispers] Why are you smiling?

[whispers] I dislocated my finger.

And that makes you smile?

Yeah, it's the right one.

[chuckles faintly]

[sighs in relief]

Thank you for such a presidential gesture.

And God bless America.

I doubt he'll bless your America.

Maybe you should ask him for me.

[♪ gripping music playing]

- [muffled g*nsh*t, ringing]
- [gasps]

[♪ tense music playing]

[thuds]

Long lived the state of New New Mexico.

[men cheering]

This is the start of a new era.

[men continue cheering]

Finally, we have obtained what we wanted.

- Go, go, go!
- Louise! Louise!

The Declaration.

She stole my declaration!

[Lightning] Come on, guys,
let's hunt her down.

- Come on, guys.
- Piece of sh*t.

[men yelling indistinctly]

[♪ tense music continues]

Your daughter's got courage.

You didn't raise her so badly after all.

- It almost pains me to have to do this.
- [clicks]

- [clicks]
- [gasps]

Damn it. [groans]

[grunts]

You have to save our Louise.

[both grunting]

[Charlie grunts]

[panting]

[♪ tense music playing]

[both grunting]

[groans]

[both grunting]

[groaning]

[Zee screams]

[both groaning]

[♪ tense music continues]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[both grunting]

- [screams]
- [clangs]

[thuds]

[both grunting]

[Charlie breathing heavily]

[Lincoln groans]

[♪ valiant music playing]

[Charlie] Mr. President?

[exhales in relief]

[Lincoln] Wow.

- Now that's what you call protection.
- [sighs in relief]

[groans]

[sputtering]

[growls]

- [thuds]
- [winces]

[g*n fires in distance]

[♪ tense music playing]

I'm gonna k*ll ya.

I'm gonna k*ll ya.

[both grunting]

- [man groans]
- [g*n clicks]

[Louise screams in distance]
Help! No!

Let me go!

No, I don't wanna go!

Help!

- No!
- [clicks]

[♪ dramatic western music playing]

[Lightning] No sudden moves.

g*n in your holster.

My trigger finger's twitchy.

sh**t!

[♪ dramatic western music continues]

[Lightning] Look at his hand.

He won't. He's afraid he'll miss.

He also knows I'm a quicker draw than him.

[g*nsh*t reverberates]

In order not to tremble,
you must have a heart of stone.

[breathing heavily]

But you decided to let them
back into your life

Now you're paralyzed.

- You won't be able to save her.
- Yes, you will!

sh**t!

[♪ dissonant music playing]

[shudders]

[thunder rumbling]

Do you hear it coming, Luke?

The miracle?

It's that special moment
when lightning strikes the same place

where it did before.

[Jane] Today's second lesson is,
in the West,

If someone wears sleeves,
it's not because they're cold,

it's to hide the cards.

[both grunting]

Do you see, Luke? He's a cheater.

That's what makes him quicker.

[♪ tense music playing]

[g*nsh*t echoing]

[♪ tense music continues]

[scoffs]

[clanging]

[clanging. hissing]

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

[sighs]

- [grunts]
- [screams]

[sighs]

[♪ pensive music playing]

[shudders softly]

[sighs in relief]

[♪ tense music playing]

[g*n clicks]

- [g*n fires]
- [whimpers]

I told you I'd k*ll ya.

[thuds]

[♪ dramatic western music playing]

[Louise chuckles softly]

I wanted to know what it felt like
to be the real Calamity.

[Lincoln] Legends are sometimes
written in the present.

I myself had the privilege
of witnessing it today.

And in this battle that took place,
between darkness and democracy,

darkness almost won.

That was without counting on our saviors.

Those stars that show us
the light and the darkness.

It's with deep emotion
that I acknowledge today

the courage, the inner strength
and selflessness

of one of our most remarkable figures,
a true hero from the Wild West.

Someone who, I must admit,
I've always been a fan of.

The one and only Calamity Jane.

[all applauding]

Mr. President, this is an honor.

Since you've read my book...

[Muybridge sighs]

Excuse me. Sorry, would you mind
holding this for me, please? Thank you.

What are you doing here?

Oh, well, I'm here with
Mrs. Jane for her book

- What do you mean?
- She didn't mention it?

We're relaunching the franchise
as a photo-novel.

Calamity Jane Volume 3.

Title's mine.
Real feats caught in the act.

There's action and emotion,


She told me the whole story. [sighs]

Like earlier in the forest,
when she took on 32 desperadoes

before saving you all.

Thank goodness she was there.
[chuckles softly]

- [sighs in relief]
- Well, then, um...

Did she save us to save us
or for her book, then?

[Jane] Muybridge, photograph.

[clears throat] Find your places, please.
[chuckles softly]

Are you ready, Mr. President?

Stand still.

[camera flashing]

[horse brays]

[♪ solemn music playing]

[sighs wearily]

[Luke clears throat]

That was really super intense.

Hmm.

You said a lot of things.

And we avoided saying a lot of things.

This means you'll be leaving, am I right?

[chuckles softly]

[Jane] Come on, Muybridge.
We're out of here.

- I've got work to do.
- [Muybridge] Coming, coming.

Joe's on the run again.
He robbed Marshall City.

You know him. While he was
playing marshal protecting the bank,

he ended up robbing the bank.

[Muybridge groans]

Okay, I think I have everything.

No, hold on. I'm sorry.

Miss, over there. What's your name?

- Me?
- [Muybridge] Yes, you. What's your name?

It's for the book. Your name is Louise...

- [♪ solemn music continues]
- [inaudible]

Lucky.

Her name is Lucky Louise.

[♪ triumphant music playing]

On three.

One, two...

[camera flashing]

[animal howling]

[♪ slow, introspective
western music playing]

END