01x04 - Brad

[bunniefuu]

- Okay. White balance

looks good.

[snapping]

Levels are good.

[clears throat]

[breathes deeply]

It's fine.

It's just a day gig.

It's just a day gig.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine, Brad.

It's totally fine

because everybody needs money,

you know?

Even the greatest artists,

uh

Everybody needs money.

[clears throat]

Hello?

Anybody home?

[flies buzzing]

Ew.

[piano sounds]

[piano playing

continues slowly]

[door thunks open]

[piano playing continues]

[floorboards creaking]

Hello?

[piano playing continues]

[pedal thunks]

[chuckles dryly]

- Brad, that A minor chord,

it's everything.

When did you find

that chord, Brad?

- You know, it's funny, my--

uh, my uncle--

- Oh, yeah, your uncle,

the composer, right?

Darby Sanborn? Yeah.

Yeah, he's great,

except the thing is,

he doesn't exist,

'cause if one unscrambles

the letters

in the name Darby Sanborn,

what does one get?

Let's see.

Maybe it's the name

of a filmmaker who didn't want

to take all the credit,

a filmmaker with the name of

Darby--Brad--Sanborn--Branson--

Brad Branson, the composer

and also the director.

Uh-huh?

- That's very good, man.

That's a--that's a deep cut.

- Oh, man, we're gonna go a lot

deeper places than that, Brad.

Come here, buddy.

Come here.

Holy sh*t.

Oh, my God.

Brad Branson is in my house!

You're in my house.

I can't--I can't--

I can't believe it.

- Yeah, um, so--

- Brad, I have a--

I have a story to tell you.

Here, look at that TV.

Right there.

Look at it, look at it.

20 years ago, 20 years ago,

I sat in front of that very TV.

It's 2:30 in the morning.

I'm up late.

I was having a little bit

of a hard time.

Someone close to me

had actually died

under mysterious circumstances.

So I thought, you know what?

I'll watch

the Sundance Channel.

I'll watch

a light independent comedy,

something with Parker Posey.

And that's when I heard it

for the first time.

[vocalizing orchestral score]

And the credits roll

and here comes

"The Boy, The Man,

and The g*n."

- Wow.

Did you make that?

- Uh, I think the question is,

was I forced to make

my own bootleg DVD

of the greatest true crime

documentary series of all time

because your distributor sucked

and did not release it

on DVD themselves.

Right? Am I right?

- That's super--

- Brad Branson is here

in my house!

The godfather

of modern true crime.

I mean, you created the genre.

You blazed the trail for--

for award-winning

and multi-million dollar

documentary series

like "Making a m*rder*r,"

like "The Jinx,"

which some people say

is the greatest of all time.

I disagree.

"Boy, Man, and The g*n"

is the best of all time.

- All right, man.

- Right? Yes.

But it's been 20 years.

It's been 20 years.

And, uh--and you haven't

lit the world on fire then.

Have you? No.

I have IMDb.

I--I get it, you know,

and, uh, I think

about you a lot, man.

You've been forced to watch

as those who came after you,

those who are less talented,

receive all the money,

all the accolades,

all the jobs.

It must be so hard to be you.

Is it hard being you, Brad?

- I mean--

- Is it hard?

- [clears throat]

It's--it's fine.

- No, it's not fine.

It's not fine.

But you know what?

It's gonna be fine,

because today I have

the true crime pitch for you

that is going

to change everything.

- Well, I'm excited.

- You're not excited, Brad.

You're lying--and it's okay.

You're skeptical,

and you should be skeptical

because you're the greatest

of all time.

It's okay.

- Hey, you know what?

That's fair.

- Mm-hmm.

- Um[clears throat]

You are paying me

to hear your pitch.

- That's right.

Everybody needs money.

- Uh, so do you have, like,

um, a deck or a keynote or--

- No, no.

Come with me.

- Okay.

- Come on, Brad.

Chop, chop.

Don't have all day.

- Uh, in here?

[scoffs]

What is this?

What is this?

[gagging]

- Oh, the burping.

- [retches]

[breathing heavily]

[eerie electronic music]

♪

- Okay, Brad.

So yes, that is a dead body.

And I know

what you're thinking.

We've all seen

dead bodies before.

What's the big deal?

What's interesting here

is how it happened.

And I am telling you, Brad,

it is a true crime story

with twists and turns

and lies and betrayals.

And I am offering you to be

the first one to discover it

and the only one to tell it.

Or we could just

call the police right now

and put an end to it.

Honestly, I'm fine

with whatever you decide.

The choice is yours.

I'll be right outside

if you need anything.

[door closes]

- Okay.

I'm in a room with a dead body.

That is a real dead body.

There is a man

who is telling me

that I could either

call the cops

or that I could film this,

which is really f*cked up.

I mean, I'll hand it to you.

This is a compelling situation.

Kind of a once-in-a-lifetime,

uh, situation.

But, uh

[burps]

Like, truly, who would do that?

What kind of a person

would do that?

Okay, sir?

I'm ready to start.

Hello?

Okay.

[shovel scraping distantly]

- Jesus, Brad.

Didn't your mother tell you

never leave a lady waiting?

I'm dying over here.

We doing this or what?

- I'm in.

- You better not be fooling me.

- No, I--

- Brad!

Brad! Brad!

Yes! Yes!

I'm gonna be

in a Brad Branson fil--

are we gonna go to Sundance?

Oh, my God.

Am I gonna go to a premiere?

What am I gonna wear?

Wait, do they let you

keep the clothes,

or do they take them back--

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What--what are you doing?

- Oh, sorry, I got excited

and I pre-dug the hole.

But I realize now,

that's valuable footage.

So I'll just reset it, and we

can kind of stage it and do--

- No, no, no, no, wait, wait.

H-hang on a second.

This is--this is a documentary.

You can't--

you can't stage anything, okay?

I know these modern

documentarian guys,

they have all kinds

of tricks and stuff.

I'm old-school.

I don't want to compromise the,

uh, integrity of the piece.

- Brad, I need

to tell you something.

When you speak to me that way,

it really makes me

admire you even more

than I ever thought I could.

[laughs] Man.

Oh, man.

- Mm-hmm.

- Whoop!

- Oh!

What the f*ck

was that for, man?

- That's a dirt shot

on the lens.

Didn't you see

"Children of Men"

when that blood splatter

hits the lens?

In fact, I'm pretty sure

that filmmaker,

he came from--

from documentaries.

I think a whole slew

of big-budget

Hollywood directors,

they come from documentaries.

Oh.

Is that a sore spot?

That's a sore spot, isn't it?

I keep doing that.

I'm so sorry.

I get nervous

'cause I respect you so much

and I want you to like me,

and I just keep talking.

I'll shut up now.

So I bet you have

some questions

about what happened here.

Bet you think

I have some answers.

But I don't want to make this

easy on you, okay?

So let's set

some ground rules, okay?

You can ask me

whatever you want,

but it's gotta be

a yes or no question.

And you are not allowed

to ask me if I'm the k*ller.

Cool?

- O-okay.

- Okay.

- Um, is the, uh--

is the victim

a friend of yours?

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- Did the victim, uh,

willingly enter the premises?

- Mm-hmm.

- Did you k*ll the victim?

- Why would you ask me that?

Brad, why would

you ask me that?

I specifically told you not

to ask me that--

ohh.

You wanted to see

what my body language was

when I shut you down, right?

Maybe my nonanswer is better

than my answer.

Jesus, Brad!

Man, I knew you were good,

but I didn't know

you were that good, Brad.

It's really impress--oh!

Oh, God!

Ow, ow.

Ah! Oh, my back.

- You okay?

- Oh, God.

I have this bad back.

Ow!

Oh, gosh.

This boo-boo is so big.

He's so heavy.

It's okay though.

It's okay.

You know?

Nothing worthwhile

is easy, right?

Just gotta put my--oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh.

Oh, no, Brad.

This one's bad.

What are we gonna do?

I mean--

Well, here's an idea.

I mean, it's

a little unorthodox, but

you could help me.

I mean, look, of course,

you know, I would

keep you protected, you know,

you can wear these and--

Otherwise, I-I just don't know

how we're gonna get

our little buddy into the hole

over there, you know?

This is probably the seminal

scene in the film so far,

and I don't want this

to turn into a short film.

A very short film.

[both grunting]

- It's kind of nice,

isn't it, you know?

Little physical labor.

We spend so much time

in our heads.

It's nice to be outside,

get some steps in, endorphins,

check a couple of doodads

off the old to-do list.

Whew!

It's really nice.

I'm gonna take care

of a couple of things inside.

- sh*t.

What the--

- Hey.

What are you doing?

- [grunting]

- Brad.

Would you like a hand?

Don't be mad.

Come on.

Here, give me this.

Give me this.

Give me this.

Okay. All right.

Come on, Brad.

Here, let me help you.

There we go.

Ow! Ow!

Help me!

Help me!

- What?

- Help!

Ah, it hurts!

My back!

I need you to walk on my back!

- What?

- Walk on my back now!

- Okay, okay.

Uh, like this?

- Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

Oh, that's good, Brad.

There you go, Br--

oh, wait, not there!

No! Ow!

- Oh--

- It hurts!

It hurts! Enough!

Get off me!

Get off!

Agh!

Okay.

Ow. Ow.

- It's you.

- What?

- You're the k*ller.

- Are you asking me

or are you telling me?

- I don't see anyone else here

who could've done it.

- Oh.

So you're feeling good.

You're feeling confident.

You're pretty sure it's me.

But here's the thing, Brad.

You only get one guess

at who the k*ller is.

One.

So you're gonna want

to make sure you're right.

Are you sure?

- Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Um

Well, you know what?

I think, uh,

we've got all the footage

that we need.

And I think it's time--

I think it's time to, um--

I think it's time to, uh,

jog to the f*cking car.

It's time--

[car beeping]

[engine revs]

[car thumps, horn honks]

What the f*ck?

What the f*ck?

[car beeps]

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

- Brad.

- [gasps]

- What did you do?

- [burping]

- Oh, the burping.

- [retching violently]

[coughing]

[grunting]

- Yeah.

All right.

Doing great, Brad.

Doing really good.

Almost there.

Okay.

There we go.

Whew!

[claps] All right.

So, Brad, um,

as you may have guessed,

you were not right

about it that time.

You were not right.

I did not k*ll

that big boo-boo on the bottom.

But the thing is, I have k*lled

some people before.

So I'm gonna give you

a second chance.

I never do this.

But you are Brad Branson.

I'm gonna give you a hint.

You ready?

- Okay.

- Yeah. Yeah.

The little boo-boo right there,

the new one.

Don't be afraid.

Take a little peeky-peeky.

What do you see?

- It's the guy from the locket.

- Mm-hmm.

It's connected, Brad.

Come on, let's start

putting it together, okay?

The clues, bring it in.

- All right.

Um, okay, so the, uh,

the bottom guy was--

maybe he was--

he was obsessed

with the guy on the--

[clears throat]

The guy on the top,

and, um,

there was some kind of, uh,

I don't know, weird sex thing

with the mask.

And the bottom guy k*lled

the top guy.

- Okay, um,

I mean, it's not the big "aha"

and the burping moment

from "The Jinx."

But, um--but it's a start.

The question is,

is that the final answer?

Brad, is that your final answ--

- No, no, no, no.

- Okay, okay, okay.

Good, good, good,

because that was

gonna be wrong,

and we don't want that, okay?

So why don't you just

take a breath, calm down.

And look around.

Look for some clues.

- Yeah. Okay, sure.

- You got this.

You got this.

- Right. Uh, let's see.

[clears throat]

Um, well

Um

- Oh, you see something,

don't you?

Look, if you'd like to--

[laughing]

- Help!

[floorboards creaking softly]

- [whispering] Brad.

Brad.

Hey.

Check it out.

Look.

You get it?

Just keep watching.

- [grunting]

- Is this not the greatest

twist for the movie or what?

Brad,

you're the k*ller.

It's like you said.

Can't see anybody else here.

Ow, it hurts! Ow!

It hurts!

It hurts!

Enough! Get off me!

Get off! Agh!

Ooh, this is my favorite one.

[car horn honks]

Beep.

Okay.

I understand

you're probably upset

that I took your movie away.

I do feel like some evil

Hollywood executive.

But let's face it, Brad.

You just might not

have it anymore.

Okay, I've been trying

to prop you up all day

with positive reinforcement.

But the truth is,

your shot choices,

they're a little stock, okay?

Your guesses at the k*ller,

they were uninspired.

And when I gave you

a legitimate chance to escape,

that was just sad.

But still, despite all of this,

there is a part of me

that still believes in you.

So I'm gonna give you

one more chance, Brad,

to take back your movie

and make the best version,

the version where Brad

not only finds the k*ller,

he kills the k*ller.

Yes.

But you're gonna have

to work really hard.

You're gonna have to be

really, really smart.

You're gonna have

to beat me, Brad.

So take your time.

What's your next move?

Oh, yeah, th-that's an option.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, don't get

all depressed, Brad.

We're g--whoa!

[groans]

Oh, Brad.

That door's locked.

Lock's tricky, isn't it?

[laughing]

- No!

- Good call.

Good move,

locking the door, Bradski.

All right.

Okay.

[loud thud]

Hi, Brad.

- No. No.

[metallic thunk]

No! No!

No!

- Yes! Yeah!

- [groaning]

- [laughs]

- [groaning]

- [grunts]

- [rasps]

- [grunts]

- [rasps]

- [exhales heavily]

Whew!

Whew.

[footsteps approaching]

[exhales heavily]

[clicks tongue]

Well, they can't

all be "The Jinx."

[burps]

Hey, the burping.

[chuckles]

[intense piano music]

♪

[whistling]