01x01 - Cubs and Robbers/Billy the Bug

[bunniefuu]

Cubby, this may be
our hardest mission yet.

Remember, kids,

the easiest way
is rarely the best way.

You're right, Cubby.
I'll always go

above and beyond
to do what's right.

Hi, I'm home.

Look. A perp
is breaking and entering...

into his own house.

He'll know where
all the good stuff is.

The perfect crime.

Hi, honey.

Mind taking out the garbage?

He's got an accomplice.

It's an "inside" inside job.

Wait a second.

Doesn't it seem
awfully... peaceful?

When was the last time
you saw...

Freeze, crooks. Police!

Duke!

Dispatch, I'm at the bank,
but I don't see

anything out of the ordinary...

for a giant bank robbery.

Oh, yeah. We did it!

We got the money.

Police. Freeze!

Oh, no. It's Duke De Tain!

Why do we always
celebrate our crimes

before we get to the safe house?

Hup, hup, hey!

Oh, thank you, Officer De Tain.

Just doing my job, sir.

You know, in hindsight,

maybe easily-carried bags
with giant dollar signs

isn't the best way
to store our money.

Ooh, gotta run. Remember, kids,

the easiest way
is rarely the best way.

Kind of a non sequitur.

You know, Duke,
how about we walk to jail?

Yeah, it's such a lovely day.

Time for a shortcut.

Are we... alive?

- Less talk, more hug.
- Okay.

Lieutenant De Tain, I see
you made it on time.

But can't you enter a room
like a normal person?

Sorry, Captain, there wasn't
time for a shoulder roll.

While admittedly effective,

your policing methods
cost this city a lot of money.

For instance, the flamingo
and tuba incident last week

- added up to...
- Awesomeness!

Thanks to Duke's sick heroics,

our city will never
suffer through

a flamingo and tuba
shortage again.

You're a serious ripper, dude.

Thank you, Chief Wheeler.

Aw, call me Wheelie.

Respectfully, sir,
I actually don't think

I'm psychologically
capable of that.

Okay.

Time for morning announcements.

First, at the chief's request,
because it would be "rad,"

every police cruiser is now
equipped with a grappling hook.

Rad.

- A harpoon.
- Cool.

And a medieval knight's lance.

Gnarly.

Next, did everybody sign

the get-well card
for Officer Garner?

And speaking of poor Garner,

I need to assign
a new partner for Duke.

Any volunteers?

Dude, what is up?

I can't make sense of it.

Some huge emergency in the city.

That's all you, Duke.
Check it out.

Yes, sir.

Hup.

Chief McCloud, any idea

what's causing
all this destruction?

No idea, Duke,

but we've got our work
cut out for us.

Bob, Clemmons, I'm gonna need
a thousand throw pillows,

a water slide,
and as many architects

you can find
that play the French horn.

- Wait, why do we need...
- No time!

I... don't... believe it.

I can see super far
with these things.

Huh?

Remember kids,

the easiest
way is rarely the best way.

Cubby?

Coming this November,
Cubby The Cop: The Movie.

Here's the latest hit
from Poppy Starr.

Turn it up,
it's "The Loud Song."

Oh, I love this.

♪ This is the loud song ♪

♪ The loud song ♪

♪ Turn it up ♪

Oh, Cubby. If there was ever
a time I needed you, it's now.

Something large and terrible
is destroying the city.

Uh, so is that a
"Sure, I'll help you, Duke?"

Okay. I'm getting
mixed signals here.

Hm. That's odd.

Cubby, you have to stop this.

Clearly, you're having
some issues.

Let's sit and talk about it,
maybe grab a bite.

Okay, Cubby,
crushing your friend

with a massive pastry
crosses the line.

A really big, weird line.

This has to end.

♪ Turn it up
Till it all goes away ♪

♪ You can totally ignore it ♪

♪ I got the answer for it ♪

♪ It's the loud song
The loud song ♪

Captain, I think
I've got an idea

of what's happening here.

Good. Lieutenant.

We heard something about a movie
promotion stunt going wrong.

- Let's hear your report.
- Yes, sir.

So my childhood lion-cub

imaginary best friend,
Cubby, has reappeared

as a 200-foot anthropomorphic
balloon monster

bent on randomly
destroying the city

while very loud pop music
emanates from his feet.

I have to lie down.

Yes, sir. He's heading toward
City Centre Square.

I'm gonna try and catch up
and stop him. Duke out.

Ah, good morning,
Officer De Tain.

Please, allow me.

Huh? What?

Cubby, stop. Please.

Don't make me hurt you.

No. Cubby's a symbol of peace,
justice and hard work.

I can't destroy him
like he's some horrible monster.

The kids are watching.

That's it.

♪ Bap, bap, the loud song ♪

Huh?

Aha! The giant boomerang store.

Yes!

No.

This is way not cool, dude.

Agreed, chief.

We have to clear this building.

Where's Lieutenant De Tain?

Radical.

This building can't take
much more of this.

Duke, you're maxed out!

You gotta bail
over here and cut the rope!

Lieutenant, quick!
Just pop the balloon,

destroying it like some monster,
forever tarnishing

any positive,
aspirational message

Cubby may have for children.

It's the easiest,
therefore, best way.

Uh, yeah, I was kinda hoping

to avoid pretty much,
exactly that.

Like, very specifically,
exactly what you just said.

But I guess I have no choice.

Sorry, Cubby.

Remember, kids.

The easiest way
is rarely the best way.

You're right, Cubby.

I'll always go above and beyond

to do what's right.

Dude, what are you doing?

You'll float away, too!

Sorry, chief. A real cop
knows the easiest way

is rarely the best way!

We make sacrifices
to help our city.

The kids are watching!

Above and beyond, Cubby.

♪ This is the loud song
The loud song ♪

♪ Turn it up, up, up
It's the loud song ♪

♪ Once it gets into your ear ♪

♪ It's the only thing
You'll hear ♪

♪ It's the loud song ♪

♪ The loud song ♪

Take it away.

♪ This is the loud song
The loud song ♪

♪ Turn it up, up, up
It's the loud song ♪