01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

I just wonder

if there could be someone out there.

You seek a soulmate?

Uh-oh.

'She just has so much to deal with,

'what with the separation

and the house move.

'I'm basically running

the show now.'

Tell your penny-pinching husband

that I need to release some funds.

It's basic book-keeping.

Just get on with it.

This isn't what I signed up for.

You'd rather my whole life

be as dull and as drab as you are.

It's just never-ending drama.

I hate you!

ALEKSANDRA: Luis Castillo.

Tall, dark and very charming.

Lovely suit. Luis has a trip

to the Greek islands.

I was just saying this morning,

Sarah always says I work too hard.

You said you wanted

to show me the islands.

You wanted me to meet your friends

because we're a couple.

That is what couples do.

It's not working for me any more.

This has to stop, do you hear?

CLAUDIA: Jane, could I have a word?

What is it?

Well, I'm afraid

we're going to have to let you go.

I'm terribly sorry.

She didn't even do it in person.

After everything we've been through.

What's wrong with me, Mum?

I'm so tired of it all.

TOMMY: Here you are with two

pink drinks and no-one to talk to.

This man will bring great passion

into your life.

Once you meet him,

there will be no going back.

'I would like the police

to come and split us up,

'to stop us

from hurting each other.'

DOUGLAS: The woman can't

have just disappeared.

REPORTER: 'But as time passes,

speculation is growing.

'Could Jane Andrews have k*lled

the man she loved?'

PHONE BEEPS

So, er, what did she buy?

Two boxes of painkillers

and a pack of lacy thongs.

Apparently, she tried

to buy more tablets,

but they wouldn't sell them to her.

You think we could be

looking at a m*rder-suicide?

Except why would you bother

buying sexy lingerie

if you're planning

on topping yourself?

Maybe she wanted clean underwear?

Anyway, the mobile company got a hit

on her phone soon after.

She was just outside Southampton,

headed west.

And there's been no further contact

with the ex-husband? None.

But apparently,

signal round there's pretty patchy.

Did the, er

the SOCOs find her passport?

His was in the office,

but there's no sign of hers.

Right, we need to issue

an all-ports warning.

If we let her leave the country,

then it's game over.

I know, Sir,

but I don't think she will.

All I know is we're three days

into a national manhunt,

and we're still no closer

to bringing her in.

She walked

straight into a supermarket.

Didn't even hide her face.

If she's taking risks,

maybe she intends to be dead

before we can get to her.

Well, she'd better bloody not be.

STARTS ENGINE

ALARM BEEPING,

APPLAUSE ON TV

Crikey.

A domestic goddess in every sense.

You are a bloody marvel.

Well, I think we're almost there.

I've put out the wine glasses.

They just need to go on the table.

Red AND white?

Of course.

Because if a thing's worth doing

it's worth doing right.

Right. Come on, then, you.

Let's get some music on.

They should be here any minute.

SARAH, ON TV:

'Thank you. I'm so glad.'

HOST: 'So, let's start

with young Sarah,

'that happy, confident girl

the whole world fell in love with.

'But that wasn't the whole story,

was it?'

'Yes, well, as we were saying,

'I worked so terribly hard

to make everyone else happy.

'It's that common thing

when parents split.

'The child just feels

'Well, you want desperately

to make things all right.

'And I was so desperate'

DOORBELL RINGS

'..for approval, for love,

'but I never felt

that I deserved it.'

Jane?

'And then, out of the blue,

'this handsome,

gorgeous man appeared.'

'And not just a man'

Janey.

'..A prince.'

'Yes, exactly.'

Darling, they're here.

'I literally met

my Prince Charming.'

'I fell in love, and I married him.'

'So now you're living

the fairy tale.'

'That's right. At first, I was.'

'But then reality'

FRONT DOOR CLOSES.

LAUGHTER,

CHATTER

Absolutely. Right!

Time for a toast, I think.

Janey, for creating

this magnificent feast.

Hear, hear.

Well done, darling.

ALL: Janey.

Cheers.

Cheers, darling. Despite

my woefully ill-equipped kitchen.

Well, we'll soon change that.

LEO: Uh-oh, Tommy.

First, it's the kitchen.

Next, she'll be throwing out

your boy's toys

and buying bloody potpourri.

Please, God, she'll make him

lose the trophy display.

Oi!

And those shirtless boat pictures.

Oh! Oh, I don't know.

I rather like the pictures.

Oh, I know you do.

And those short shorts.

Ooh! I've never seen these.

All right, I'm not just

a piece of meat, you know.

Yes, you are, mate.

No, I am. Yes, no, I am.

LAUGHTER.

Right. Well, erm,

if we are making toasts,

I actually have

a bit of an announcement.

Erm, to my utter amazement

and deep joy,

this gorgeous creature to my left

has finally agreed to marry me.

Oh, that's fantastic news.

Congratulations!

Yes, congratulations.

That's wonderful.

Thank you.

Glasses down, everybody.

This calls for Champagne.

It was always you.

I just perked up immediately.

On my 15th drink, but, you know!

You sure about this, though, Mills?

He's the one?

He wore me down somehow.

Hm.

LAUGHS: That helps!

That helps, yeah.

Diamonds help. That'll do it.

Can I see?

Oh, wow!

Excellent clarity.

And that's a very good setting

for that cut.

Oh, yes, you work in a jeweller's,

don't you?

Er, well, I do at the moment, yes.

But I learnt about diamonds

when I was with the Royal Family.

Janey was the Duchess of York's

personal assistant.

Yes. But she doesn't like

to mention it.

CHUCKLING

It really is a lovely ring.

Thank you.

LEO: Well, I'm glad you liked it.

It cost a bit.

Oh, no, stop it. Don't be beastly.

Come on, so, when's the wedding?

Probably in the spring.

Yes.

Well, hang on.

We'd better get a wriggle on with,

er, planning the stag, Duncan. Yes.

Oh, I-I'm not sure about that.

What do you mean, you're not sure?

Rubbish. We're having a stag do.

End of story, thank you.

Surely, that's the whole point

of getting married?

Maybe not the whole point.

You two planning a stag?

You're joking.

LAUGHTER

I'm best man, I'm in charge.

Anyway, stems, everybody.

To the happy couple.

ALL: To the happy couple.

Cheers.

Congratulations.

Remember, erm, Mickey's stag?

In Barcelona?

LAUGHTER

I remember that stripper

took a shine to Tommy.

Sh-She was a lovely young lady.

And we had a very interesting

conversation about football.

Football!

That's what you were talking about?

Oh, I missed that.

LAUGHTER

Erm, what's this?

JOSH: Well, you know our Tommy.

Can't say no to a pretty face.

CHUCKLES.

Well, unless they

try to tie him down.

OK, that's enough of that.

And then he runs for the hills.

CAMILLA: Leo.

At least, he used to.

Well, I wish I knew some of this

before you asked me to move in.

Don't pay any attention.

How's the wrist, by the way?

Duncan.

It's much better, thank you.

Good.

More Champagne, I think.

She was determined

to get her feet under the table.

The wrist thing

just gave her an excuse.

I think she was

just strapped for cash

and needed to rent out her flat.

Janey said they'd been dancing

and then she fell.

But I didn't buy it.

And eventually

she told me that he'd pushed her

over the open door

of the dishwasher.

She tripped.

Or she did it on purpose.

Either way, she got what she wanted.

Duncan obviously got it

from somewhere.

Jesus Christ.

Give it a rest, will you?

It's lovely to know

that's how you talk about me

with all of your friends.

HE EXHALES.

Don't be ridiculous.

And the way that he said,

"How's your wrist?"

Was so f*cking snide.

I could've punched him!

Dunc was just winding you up,

and you have overreacted, as usual.

So, what, I'm supposed to just

sit there and take it, am I?

Darling, there's nothing to take.

You're just being

too bloody sensitive, Janey.

Look, Dunc was just being Dunc.

Oh, yeah, good old Dunc.

If you love him so much,

why don't you just

go and live with Dunc instead?

I mean, I would

but his feet stink.

And besides,

I've heard he's sh*t in bed.

HE SNIGGERS

Also, there is this

sexy little minx

that I've had my eye on.

Oh, yeah?

Mm.

Sure there's not some stripper

you'd rather be screwing?

No. There's only one woman

I want to screw.

If I can get her to stop talking

for five minutes.

Five minutes hardly seems worth it.

Trust me, lady. It'll be worth it.

So you're sure

you don't want me to go?

No-one's going anywhere.

Glad to hear it.

Cos if you left me, Tommy

I don't know what I would do.

HE INHALES SHARPLY Stop.

Put them on first, yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah.

You know how much I like it.

Yep, I know, Mum,

but Leo wanted somewhere

more central for his stag do,

so we chose Berlin.

I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love you too. OK. All right.

Bye, Mum. Bye.

Can't believe you're leaving me

for a whole weekend. I know.

But think just how good it'll be

when I get back.

You should make the most of it.

Call up your girlfriends,

go out on the town.

Maybe I'll meet a nice young man.

You'd better bloody not.

There it is.

Call me when you

get to Berlin, yeah? Course.

CAR HORN TOOTS That'll be Dunc.

You won't forget?

I won't forget.

DOORBELL RINGS

All right, chaps?

DUNCAN: There he is. Got the hat?

TOMMY LAUGHS,

DOOR CLOSES

REPORTER: '..having trouble getting

people to pay attention. But'

PRESENTER: 'What did they say

about Princess Diana's dress?

' "Oh, doesn't it look crumpled?"

'But they didn't say that

about yours.

'Because you've got

such nice broad shoulders,

'the strapless looks wonderful.'

'Yeah, and all the work you've put

into them, Angelie. That's right.

'Paying off on your wedding day.

'Contrary to popular belief,

'strapless dresses

really do suit most people.

'They show off shoulders

beautifully.

'And if you've got a small bust,

they're dead easy to wear.

'If you want to wear one

and you've got a big bust,

'just make jolly sure

that the underwear you wear

'is the right kind of underwear

because'

RINGING TONE

'Hi, you've reached Tommy's phone.

'Leave a message,

and I'll get back to you.'

Hey, it's me.

Assuming you've safely arrived

in Deutschland.

Gimme a call when you can, yeah?

Miss you already.

'Hi, Tommy. It's me again.'

So still no word.

For all I know, you could be

dead in a ditch somewhere.

So if you could just call me back

it would be good to know

that you're still alive.

SHE SNIFFLES, GASPS

INARTICULATE CRY

So you need to get out of the

f*cking strip club and call me back.

I'm not joking, Tommy. You need

to call me back, immediately.

Do you hear me?

You can't just

f*cking ignore me, Tommy.

It's not f*cking funny.

You f*cking b*stard!

SHE YELLS

RINGING TONE

'Hi, it's Duncan.

You know what to do.'

Duncan, it's Jane.

Look, erm

I'd really appreciate it

if you could please tell Tommy

to tear himself away

from all the naked bloody t*ts

and call me. OK?

'This is Leo. Sorry I can't

take your call at the moment,

'but please leave a message.'

Leo, Jane again.

If you're with Tommy,

which I'm sure you are,

I need you to tell him

to pick up the phone and call me.

This has gone beyond a joke.

Do you understand?

She was desperately hurt.

It was a real betrayal.

If anything,

the thing about "old slippers"

Well, it was a compliment.

He just meant that he was

very comfortable with her.

Janey described some of the things

that he'd written, and

I certainly wouldn't

have been happy either.

Served her right.

She shouldn't have

gone poking about.

TOMMY: Hello, Jane?

Look, it's not what you think.

I didn't actually do anything, Jane.

It was just a stupid bit of fun.

I read the emails.

Yeah, OK, they sounded bad, but

it wasn't real.

It was just fantasy, just

harmless fetishes.

Who is she?

She's no-one. She's

She's just some woman

that I met at a trade show that's

SHE SNIFFLES God.

Jane

nothing actually happened.

I-It's not like

I slept with her. We

We just sent a couple of emails.

You don't love me at all, do you?

Jane, that's not true.

You never loved me.

Oh, God, I wish I was dead.

Oh, Jane, please don't say that.

You mustn't say

things like that, OK?

I'm really, really sorry.

Why shouldn't I?

If you don't love me,

I'd rather be dead.

J-Jane, look.

I am really sorry.

We're good. I I promise.

I can see this is very distressing.

He said it didn't mean anything.

It was just a stupid flirtation,

and I was the one

that was over-reacting.

I don't know, maybe I am.

It's not like

he actually slept with her.

We've talked about how people

can try to minimise your feelings

so they don't

have to deal with them.

Your parents, for example.

Right. I remember

you said there were certain things

that happened in your childhood

that they didn't want to know about.

Yeah.

It was all just

swept under the carpet.

Do you feel

that's what's happening here?

I don't know.

Maybe.

My whole life revolves around him.

Forget about what I want,

what I need.

It's always about Tommy.

If I just knew for sure

where we were headed

then I I could relax.

Could you tell him

you feel this way?

What's the point?

He wouldn't understand.

But if you want to establish

clearer boundaries

he needs to know what behaviour

you find unacceptable.

I can't carry on like this, Tommy.

You hurt me so much.

And the truth is

it sent me to a very dark place.

And it's a place

that I have been in before.

What do you mean?

I know you thought

I was just making threats.

But the fact is I, erm

I have tried to k*ll myself

in the past.

God.

I don't want to go into details.

But it's happened more than once,

and I can't be with someone

who might push me

into feeling like that again.

No.

No, course not. Erm

I'm so sorry.

So if you would

rather be with this woman

in Las Vegas

No. No, no.

That was never the thing

or you've decided that

you'd never want to settle down

That's No, I Look, I

I definitely think about

marriage and and kids

and all of those things.

OK.

I just need to know that

we're heading in the same direction.

It's not that I'm expecting you

to propose tomorrow. It's

Maybe six months down the line.

Yeah.

I just need to know

that you're not using me.

I wouldn't do that.

I wouldn't. OK?

Don't ever hurt me again, Tommy.

I really couldn't bear it.

She started texting

a couple of hours ago.

It's been non-stop ever since.

My inbox is practically full,

but I didn't think

I should delete anything.

She's obviously in a terrible state.

Francesca, we have CCTV footage

that shows Jane buying

quite a lot of painkillers.

So, as you can imagine,

we're extremely concerned

for her well being.

We need you to talk to her.

Try and get her to tell you

exactly where she is.

Think you could do that?

I can try.

LAUGHTER,

SWING MUSIC PLAYING

Right, then.

Another one for the Majesty.

Happy birthday to the Queen Mother.

To the Queen Mother.

God bless the old dear.

LAUGHTER.

MUSIC: 'Tainted Love'

by Soft Cell.

Oh, my God, Tommy.

Oh, Jesus.

Shall we?

Yes, indeed.

Duncan, do me a favour, old boy.

Oh, anything for you, Tom.

Yes, thank you.

Sometimes I feel

I've got to

Run away

I've got to

Get away from the pain

You drive into the heart of me

The love we share

Seems to go nowhere ♪

Get a room!

Come on now, you two.

FRANCESCA: Janey!

Janey.

Things seem to be going

much better between the two of you.

Yes, things are wonderful.

In fact, last weekend,

we were looking at properties

in the Cotswolds.

Wow, that's exciting.

He even registered us

as "Mr and Mrs Cressman"

at the estate agents'.

Did he?

Well, that's what the chap had

on his papers,

but Tommy and I

just went along with it.

It was very funny.

CHUCKLES.

Between you and I, he's been having

lots of secret chats with his mum.

And I think he may be planning

to propose when we're in France

at his family's villa.

Gosh. Really?

Janey? Don't look now,

but isn't that your old chap, Luis?

Just behind Tommy?

LAUGHTER,

CHATTER

TOMMY: It is a Classic Riva,

and she is an absolute stunner.

Tommy really knows his boats.

My brother's been looking at

a Riva Olympic. Oh, wow.

Tommy? Mm, that's cool.

What kind of condition?

Good, I think.

Tommy?

Sorry. Erm, how far is the villa

from St Tropez?

Ah, I don't know. A couple of hours?

Max should get Tommy to look at it.

I'm thinking we should drive there

one day in the boat.

You You don't drive a boat,

woman. Jesus!

CHUCKLING Oh, pardon me.

Sorry, stupid Janey

gets it wrong again.

No, no, look.

That's not what I meant.

You should give her

a good telling off.

Don't be silly.

Tommy rather likes naughty girls.

That and a bit of dressing up.

LAUGHS: For God's sake!

If it's thigh-high and leather,

all the better.

Look Please, ignore her.

You're drunk.

No, I'm not. You are.

You're making a fool of yourself.

Janey

why do you always

have to go too far?

Look, just give me

You're hurting me!

Oh, you'll survive.

Bad luck for you, then, isn't it?

I think we should go home.

I don't want to go home.

OK, fine. Do what you want.

Stay.

I'll just jump in the river,

shall I? Yes.

That'll solve all your problems,

won't it?

Hold on. Tommy, what's going on?

Stick her in a cab

when she falls over.

Tommy?

'He could be quite curt with her.'

And a bit cruel.

She was a clingy bloody nightmare.

I kept telling him

he needed to cut her loose.

RINGING TONE

'Hi, you've reached Tommy's phone.'

OK.

'Leave a message'

Great. Well, that's fine.

Don't pick up.

BEEP.

Hi, Tom. It's Jane.

It is quarter to one in the morning,

and there are no f*cking buses.

Yeah, I'm f*cking pissed off.

'Not like you give a f*cking toss

if I was walking the streets

'at one in the morning or not,

though, is it?

'No, it's f*cking boring,

f*cking

'tosser, loony-bin Jane

'who goes out

once in a bloody blue moon

'cos you don't f*cking want

to go out with me.

'OK. Goodbye.'

Un-f*cking-believable.

Selfish f*cking prick.

Tommy, I'm so sorry.

That's what you always say.

I thought we were doing better.

We are.

But when you act like this

in front of my friends, they

They don't understand

why I don't just end it.

Because they don't know us.

You said it yourself -

we're good together.

But, Jane, these problems,

th-they

they're not just gonna go away.

No, I know.

Every time we argue,

it's like you

you talk about jumping

in the bloody river or taking pills.

It's not fair.

I know it's not.

I get so scared.

And I know it's stupid

and it's selfish

and it's too much pressure on you.

I've been a total b*tch.

It's not like I'm so great. It's

It's just, things need to be equal.

They will be.

I promise.

I'm sorting myself out. I really am.

And from now on,

things will be different, I swear.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Because I really don't want us

to go to France and have some No.

This holiday

is exactly what we need.

We'll make a whole fresh start.

New Janey. I promise.

OK.

DOUGLAS: OK, are you ready?

She's dialling now.

RINGING TONE

'Franny?'

Janey, I've been so worried,

sweetheart. Are you all right?

'I'm cold.'

WHISPERS: Keep her talking.

Where are you? Are you in the car?

'Janey, can you still hear me?'

It's dark. I can't see.

'I'm so cold, I can't feel my legs.'

Oh, Janey, darling.

Have you taken something?

Please, will you tell us

what you've taken?

'Oh, God, OK. Listen, just, erm

'Press on the horn, darling. OK?

'Because you need to try

and get someone's attention.

'Janey, you don't wanna do this.

Please will you let us help you?'

Je connais une fille

Dans une rue deserte

Froide com me glace

Mais aussi savoureuse

Seche tes pleurs, Sunday Girl

Hey, j'ai vu ton mec

Avec une autre fille

Il semblait dans un autre monde

Cours te cacher, Sunday Girl ♪

God, it's so beautiful here.

There's an observation deck

just along the coast.

It's an ideal spot for the sunset.

Very romantic.

We should go up there this evening.

Sounds perfect.

Elle ne peut

S'integrer au monde ouvrier

L'air du week-end

Est quand Elle se sent fierte

Quand Elle reve, Sunday Girl

Minou, moi

Je sortirais bien ce ♪

Oh, you made it!

Mum!

Oh! We were starting to worry.

Oh, no, don't be silly. How are you?

Good. How are you?

Very good.

Oh, yes.

Tommy.

Hello, chap.

How are you, man?

Fantastic.

Young David Look at him!

LAUGHTER.

What a thing!

How are you, chap? How you doing?

Yeah, good.

Great.

And of course,

you all remember Janey?

Yes, of course. Hello, dear.

Hi.

Can I help you with your bag?

Oh, er, that's OK.

So, this is the new car, Rick?

Yep. She's a beauty, isn't she?

Dad won't let her out of his sight.

He's obsessed.

I'm not obsessed, boy.

I can't wait

to take her out for a spin.

We'll see you inside, boys.

Oh, yes, of course.

ENGINE REVS

La mer

Qu'on voit danser

Le long des golfes clairs ♪

SIGHS: Oh, I know, it's so romantic.

Tommy drove us up into the hills,

and I just had no idea.

WATER SPLASHING

CHATTER FROM OUTSIDE

Agh!

Ah, you buggers.

And again, David. Still with you.

Well done, chap.

Come on!

Here we go.

All right, Janey?!

Keep your head in the game!

'What happened to you?'

I had an epic game of water polo.

You should've come down.

Well, I was waiting

for you to come up.

Ah. Oh, well.

Dinner's in 15 minutes,

and Cathy's just got here,

so we should probably

get down there.

Right.

So shall we drive up there

after dinner, then?

What's that?

The observation deck.

Don't be silly. We just got here.

We can go with the others.

And anyway,

Mum usually packs a picnic.

Come on.

My sister really wants to meet you.

Come on. Allez, allez!

So So, Mum was saying you're

buying a place in the Cotswolds?

Mm. Well,

we're exploring some options.

I thought the second cottage

you went to see

looked really quite promising.

Mm. Yeah, me too.

It'd make a lovely family home.

I was just saying to Tommy,

I can imagine that smallest room

as a nursery.

And there's space, yeah?

For an annexe?

Definitely, yeah.

An annexe?

I had the agent fax over the plans,

so we'll get a better idea.

Just don't overstretch yourself.

In the current climate

Was it?

Oh, now, come on.

What?

Tommy knows what he's doing.

He's always had

an excellent head for business.

LAUGHTER

Sorry - so the cottage

is for your mother, too?

Yeah, I mean

Well, we discussed it, but

Darling, I told you about that.

He may have a good head

for business,

but, er,

his spelling's still atrocious.

Well, that's not fair, is it?

There's a couple of words I have

some trouble with, that's all.

What, like "car" and "cover"?

LAUGHTER.

Oh!

That's so naughty.

So, Jane, do you know

this part of France at all?

Er, a little, yes.

At least, I know St Tropez.

I stayed there several times

with the Duchess.

Oh, yes, of course.

Jane used to work for

the Duchess of York as her dresser.

Golly.

That must have been interesting.

Did you see her on Friends?

CATHY GROANS.

Friends? What's that?

Oh, Friends is a sitcom, Granny.

Yes, old Freebie Fergie.

She'll do anything for money.

THEY LAUGH

I don't think that's fair.

Oh darling, it's a joke. Come on.

Right, shall we move on to dessert?

Yes. Ooh, yes.

Come on.

Tommy, will you help me

with the plates?

Hello, darling. OK?

Please can we go upstairs?

What?

No. Come on, it's still early.

I'm tired, and

I just don't really feel too good.

OK. Well have a drink.

That'll cheer you up.

I don't need cheering up.

I need not to be ignored

and humiliated

in front of your bloody family.

Why are you being like this?

RICK: Excuse me.

CLEARS THROAT.

Please can we just go upstairs?

You just can't help yourself,

can you?

You just had to make a scene.

I'm not making a scene,

I'm just upset.

You're always upset.

And I am sick to death of it.

If you want to go just go.

ENGINE REVVING

TYRES SQUEAL

PHONE RINGS

'Where the hell are you?'

Like you care.

I could drive off the road,

you'd probably be happy.

'Don't you bloody dare.'

That is my brother's car.

You bring it back.

You bring it back now.

ENGINE REVS INCREASE

Just Just ignore her.

Really, it's the best way.

When she came down

to go to the airport,

my mother said

she had a face like thunder.

She was shouting, screaming,

saying she'd wasted

the last two years of her life.

She just wanted to humiliate Tommy.

Janey called from the car.

It sounded like

the holiday had been a disaster.

She was going on about what

he'd done, what he hadn't done,

how it was definitely over.

'That was with Tommy

sitting right next to her.'

Clearly, things between them

had become completely toxic.

This is ridiculous, Tommy.

You can't keep ignoring me.

We need to talk about things.

You need to hear what I'm saying.

Jesus Christ.

You need to listen to me.

Listen to you?

You didn't shut up

the whole f*cking way home.

Not to mention that mortifying

f*cking display at the airport

in front of my mother

and poor David. You

You know they both think

you're insane?

I don't care. You can't keep

treating me like this.

And phoning

all of our bloody friends,

wailing and and bawling

and airing

all of our private business.

It was completely

bloody humiliating.

You think that's humiliating?

Yes, I do!

How do you think I feel?!

Finding out you've gone

behind my back with some wh*re,

sending her those foul emails.

I bet people would love

to read those, wouldn't they?

God's sake, not this again.

Yes, you can't just pretend

that I don't exist!

Oh, I swear to God, right now,

I wish you didn't.

If we were married,

you wouldn't treat me like this.

But you would rather

just keep stringing me along,

as long as Tommy gets what he wants.

You seriously, seriously

still talking about marriage?

Oh, good old Janey. She's good

for f*cking, but not much else.

Just shut up.

What if your precious mother

knew what you were really like?

You are sick, do you know that?

ROARS: Shut up!

Will you shut up!

Shut your f*cking mouth!

Because it is the truth!

You're the one who's sick.

You're broken.

There is something, like,

deeply, deeply wrong with you,

and I swear to God, Jane,

I wish I'd never met you.

You ruined my life, Tommy.

No, you did that all by yourself.

Well, then I, er,

may as well end it.

HE SIGHS

Get one of those knives

and slash my f*cking wrists.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Go on, then.

The knives are right there.

Go on.

Take a knife, slash your wrists.

Be my f*cking guest.

Do you know what?

I'll do mine too, shall I?

Put us both out of our misery. Hm?

CLATTERING,

DOOR SLAMS

SHE YELLS,

GLASS SMASHES

Thank you.

Can you put me

through to the police, please?

I'm having a major fight

with my other half.

Yeah.

'I would like to discuss it calmly.

She will not.'

OPERATOR: 'And can you tell me

if anyone's been injured?'

'Not yet.'

'OK, sir.

Where's your other half right now?'

Right here.

'What are they doing?'

Staring at me.

'Right.

'Has anyone actually

been assaulted, sir?'

Not really.

But someone's going to get hurt.

'Can you confirm your name,

please, sir?'

Y-Yes. I'm Thomas Cressman.

'OK, Mr Cressman, what is it

you want the police to do?'

I would like the police

to come and split us up.

I would like someone

to stop us

from hurting each other.

If you don't have somebody

here soon

somebody is.