01x03 - Der kleine und der große Tod

[bunniefuu]

-I can explain everything.
-You have two seconds.

It's obvious what's going on.

You wanted a threesome
and now you have cold feet.

-What? No.
-Very clever.

First, telling me about your problems,
and then luring me here

on the pretext of working today.

And, idiot that I am,

I thought you wanted to have fun
with me alone.

But, hey! Why not?

Welcome to my life.

A separated mother falls into a threesome

with her intern and his girlfriend.

Fiancée! And no way
is this going to be a three... Whatnot.

I understand. After many years,
there's no action in bed.

You start flirting with others.

And if you're not careful,
it'll all be over, sooner or later.

Over?

But we're just getting started.

Pooh bear, say something.

Yes, Dennis. Say something.

Tell her what you told me.

That it's not working anymore.

Did you really say that?

Dennis? Tell me the truth.

-Because if she is lying, then...
-No. I mean, yes.

Stop! Yvonne, stop!

Mina is right.

I told her things aren't great
and that I'm unhappy.

I want to break up.

You can't be serious.

I am.

But we're getting married. Did you forget?

You really mean it.

May I?

Then I hope you're very happy now.

-You should really be proud.
-Single at last, Denni boy!

We have to celebrate!

Brave step. Congratulations!

Dennis?

She died two days ago.

-What?
-What?

She was a really important person
for me in my life.

For me

It should rain red roses...

That was your favorite song.

She used to blow
soap bubbles out of teddy bears.

They fly along, carefree and free.

-If you need anything...
-Dennis.

I'm so sorry.

Grandma was only 93 years old.

I see.

Your grandma died?

But we're still here for you.

Of course.

I'm afraid of the funeral.

Yvonne will come.

My mom hired her to do the flowers.

He obviously hasn't told
his family about the breakup yet.

My mother wouldn't cope with that.

And now he's afraid he'll relapse.

Nele, you're right.
We have to be there for Dennis.

I suggest we go to the funeral.

-Ben...
-We'll help you.

That's what we're here for, isn't it?

-To be there for each other.
-Yes.

To Dennis' new life as a single man!

What did I miss?

Funerals are deadly dull.

What would be your first impulse?

My first impulse
wouldn't be to go to the funeral

of a woman I didn't even know.

-Very good point.
-I know.

Does that also apply
if you thereby helped a friend?

Don't get me wrong,
our first impulses are never wrong.

They protect us. They help us
to intuitively make the right decisions,

from our gut feeling, most of the time.

But sometimes we confuse
our gut feeling with old, learned patterns

that protected us once,
but that we don't need anymore.

That's when impulse control helps.

Please fixate on a point on the ceiling.

Let the first impulse pass,

and then verbalize
what you see, hear, and feel.

And... go.

-A p*nis cloud.
-A boy crying.

Birds.

-Yvonne.
-Nele's heartbeat.

-Pirate ship.
-Friends.

-Grandma dancing.
-I hear my friends.

I feel Nele's boobs.

I, unfortunately, don't feel Nele's boobs.

Please close your eyes.

Count down from four.

Four, three, two, one.

Grandma.

Who brings a gift to a funeral?

I could ask you the same thing.

What can I say? You know I'm a romantic.

Soap bubbles for a funeral?
I'll just say impulse control.

-Exactly. Impulse control.
-Yes.

Anja would be very proud of you.

-I got stuck on you.
-All good.

Sorry, what's your name?

-Linn.
-Linn? Doesn't that mean sunshine?

NELE - Zoé, you're still coming, right?
A FRIEND is waiting!

-I need your...
-Impulse control!

I gotta go, Linn. But we...

Do you have to hit on minors now
to escape your emotions?

Are you jealous?

-Jealous of a 16-year-old?
-Linn is 18, at least.

-You're so going to hell.
-We have something in common.

Tell me, have you ever wondered
who would cry at your funeral?

Because all your side chicks surely won't.

Thank you.

Over here!

-Hey.
-Where have you been?

-Hey.
-Yvonne will be here soon.

Sorry. Ben had to stop by
the kindergarten.

-I'll introduce you to my parents.
-Okay.

I'd like to introduce my parents.

This is Nele and Ben.
Ben and Nele, my parents.

-My sincere condolences.
-Here. All the best for the funeral.

How do you know our little sunshine?

He tells us so little.

How do we know our little sunshine?

We know each other from the group for...

-Swim addicts. Yes.
-Exactly.

Swim-addicted synchronized swimmers.

You should see
how elegantly our Ben here moves...

In the pool.

Please excuse me.

-Achim?
-Yes.

Denny, are you coming?

Thanks. That was close.

-I move well in the pool, don't I?
-Yes.

Zoé, where the hell are you?

Has anyone told you
that black looks good on you?

What?

But the shoes really suck.

You came! Hey.

I thought funerals were deadly dull.

Not the ones I'm at.

Hold this.

Okay.

Stay calm.

It's all in your head.

You can do it.
It's just a f*cking funeral.

Okay.

Okay, Anja.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Four.

Three.

-Hello.
-There you are at last, darling.

I'm so sorry, dearest mother-in-law.

Hi, poopy bear.

-You know we're not back on?
-That we're broken up?

-Yes.
-Yes, I know.

But if you don't tell your mother,
then you'll have to play along.

Yes, that's right. Sorry.

Listen.

No matter how shitty I feel,
I just want to be here for you today.

As a friend. Like a good friend.

This will be tough.

-We can't let him out of our sight.
-We won't.

Say, have you seen Zoé anywhere?

-Who's Zoé?
-A friend.

Okay. I'm relieved.

Listen.

Don't take this the wrong way,
but how old are you?

Fifteen. Why?

Hands off my sister!

-Linn is your sister?
-Yes.

Yes, she's my sister.
And no to you two, got it?

-Yes.
-No!

And you sit with us.

-Please tell me I'm not a creep.
-Well...

I think I have bad breath.

Do I? Give me some gum from Zoé's bag.

-This one.
-All right.

Thanks.

This works too.

She is gone.

And her absence hurts.

We can't hold on to life.

Not ours, and not Elisabeth Lutheroth's.

Before we say the Lord's Prayer,
let us reflect and remember her.

We're here in the name of the Father,

-the Son and the Holy Spirit.
-f*ck!

-Amen.
-Amen.

Memento mori.

Bear in mind that you must die.

But also remember that this path
is not the end, but paradise.

You're not alone. Take it.
I have found paradise.

It is a small step.
It is in the air around us.

It is in god's breath
that flows inside of us.

Wow!

-You are small...
-He holds a baby in his arms.

Nele. Nele.

Can you see how...

-Stop!
-So soft.

What are you doing?

-Is she drunk or something?
-I don't know. Ever since she...

-f*ck, it's Zoé's edibles.
-What?

Hash cookies!

sh*t.

Take me with you on your Harley.

Can you be quiet?

Nele!

-Jesus Christ...
-No respect.

My hand.

Dear Linn, may I ask you to come up?

f*ck!

Don't you feel
that we deserve a second chance?

A new start?

Is this really happening?

Okay.

-I'm here.
-Yes.

-Cool.
-Yes.

Okay.

They're so sweet together.

Like two swans gliding on an ocean

for the rest of their lives.

Nele. I need you now.

-This is the hardest part of a funeral.
-Since when are you an expert on funerals?

Where the hell is Zoé?

Grandma Lizzie spent 65 years with a man
she wasn't happy with.

Do you understand?

And isn't life in the end actually to...

-What?
-Life is here to be lived.

That's what she used to say.

I want to live.

But without you.

Can we talk about this later, alone?

No.

Super!

Thank you.

I'm Zoé. I'm Dennis's friend.

I was eight when my grandma died.

My mom really wanted me
to look into the casket.

So I did, until I got so sick I threw up.

Into the casket.

On Grandma.

My mom hated me for it.

Anyway, I hope you have it nice up there.

And while you're up there,

maybe you can tell
my grandma that I'm sorry

that I threw up all over her.

And that I love her.

And that I miss her.

I miss her a lot.

Safe journey,

Grandma Lizzie.

Are you hiding?

My boyfriend broke up with me for good.

That's great. Now, you're free.

Do we know each other?

Not that I know of.

And what are you doing at the funeral?

Facing my fears
and not giving in to my first impulse.

You know what's funny?

I really loved him.

Even though he was really bad in bed.

I'm not even sure
if he ever brought me to orgasm.

You're not sure?

Sometimes I thought I'd had one, but...

maybe I just had to sneeze.

-You must think I'm totally crazy, right?
-Yes.

I mean, he really tried.

Way too hard.

Did you know that the French
call an orgasm "la petite mort"?

What does that mean?

Little death.

Close your eyes.

-What?
-Don't ask, do it.

-What are you doing?
-And now count down from four.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Zero.

Want to go for another round in the car?

Do you hear that?

It sounds like an orgasm.

It sounds like a car horn.

Why do this at my grandma's funeral?

Yes! It's an orgasm. Hallelujah.

Have you seen Ben?

Is everything okay?

Never better. Why?

Grandma was proud of you, you know?

Have you seen Ben or not?

Yes.

No. No.

Yes or no?

-Zoé, where have you been?
-Giving in to my first impulse.

Hot.

-What's with her?
-What's with you?

Why did you bring edibles to a funeral?

Oh, no! I'm sorry, Dennis.

What did I tell you?

The funerals I'm at are never deadly dull.

What did I miss?
Are you back together with Yvonne?

Speak of the devil. Here she comes.

No way.

Can you be quiet for a moment?
I have to tell you something.

Oh, God! Please don't!

I just wanted to tell you
that life sometimes

takes the strangest
and most unexpected paths.

I mean, just a few days ago,
you think you're engaged.

And today...

Dennis, my poopy bear.

You've been a great boyfriend to me.

But not a great lover.

My first real orgasm
was just given to me by someone else.

Thanks for nothing!

To everyone else,

life is far too short to not enjoy it.

Isn't it?

Okay? It's...

Hey, it'll be okay.

Unbelievable.

Dennis.

No, no, no...

No, no, no...

Wait!

Just wait!

She embarrassed me in front of my family.

Let people talk.

Who cares?

"We're not to mourn the past.
We're to look ahead."

"Life is too short to not enjoy it."

Who did she get that from?

Presumably from the same dude
who gave her the orgasm.

Let's go back. I'm starving.

Wild horses couldn't drag me back.

Hey. Don't worry.
Yvonne just got in her car and left.

Come on.

I don't recognize Yvonne at all.
Who does something like that?

Come on.

It will be fine, okay?

Are you coming, Zoé? I need you.

What does one do as a single guy?

Pick up women.

Caress your pearl.

What?

Grandma Lizzie's favorite song.
"Red Roses."

This is the nicest gift you could give us.

Don't mention it.

Yvonne and you
really aren't together anymore?

Sorry, Mom.

Are you kidding?
I'm glad you got rid of her.

What are you waiting for?
Life's too short not to dance.

The trip from the cookie wasn't bad.

Grandma Lizzie
enjoyed it from her cloud too.

You know what?

I promise you
that I will cry at your funeral.

Scout's honor.

Um...

No... I'm sorry.

Funerals make me...

I've only been to one before.

Whose?

My father's.

I'm sorry. I didn't know.

No problem.

I never told you.

-Don't tell anyone.
-Sure.

Excuse me for a moment,
I have to prove I am not a creep.

Thanks.

May I have this dance?

Just as friends.