01x01 - Cornhole

[bunniefuu]

EIMY FORREST: Okay.
Let's go. I know.

- It's cold.
- EIMY: We're in a hurry. I know.

- We got it. Let's zip it up.
- CLARK FORREST: All right, guys.
Give me a hug. Come on.

- Bye, Daddy.
- EIMY: There we go.

CLARK: All right. Goodbye.

- Have a great day, sweetheart.
- We gotta get
these backpacks in.

- Gotta go. Go ahead, go.
- CLARK: Okay? All right.

- Okay. Bye, bye.
- CLARK: See you later.

See ya. Here you go.
Get 'em in. Okay.

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

[TRUNK DOOR CLOSES]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[TRAFFIC RUMBLING]

[HAND CYCLE BELL RINGING]

[HEAVY VEHICLE ENGINE RUMBLING]

Okay, Richard. Put your head
on your dad's heart.

RICHARD: Stepdad.

Okay. That's, um...

The important thing is
that you can hear his heart.

And we'll listen to the words
that he chooses to send from it.

- Can you?
- Kind of.

THERAPIST: Okay. Good.

And, Dad, go ahead and get
your arms around your guy.

- Stepdad.
- THERAPIST: Okay. Let's, um...

Let's get your arms
around your stepdad.

Okay. Now let's share
our considered statement.

Okay, um,
my considered statement is...

"Hey, it's okay. I also got Cs."

And it's from me to Richard.

Um, Richard...

"Hey...

it's okay.

I also got Cs.

I know where you're coming from.

And I want you
to know right here

that you are not average."

RICHARD: I can feel your stomach
on my forearm.

Okay. Yeah,
that's because, um, my...

my shirt's riding up
a little bit

because I have my--
my arms up above my shoulders.

"I was really only good
at the classes--"

RICHARD: Wait,
why don't your clothes fit?

Because I gained
a little weight.

And I don't want
to get bigger stuff

because it's kind
of a snowball effect.

I want to be around
for a long time

because of you.

So I'm gonna lose weight
because of you. Okay?

So that's why my shirt is small.
Can I finish my thing?

- THERAPIST: Please.
- Yeah.

"Hey, I just don't want you
to someday get grown-up Cs.

Grown-up Cs means that maybe
you're in a relationship

with someone who's unkind.

Grown-up Cs means
you maybe don't have friendships

that share laughter
and those light-hearted moments

that take the edge off of..."
[STAMMERS]

"Off...
The edge off of all of life.

Grown-up Cs means
you're often sad a lot,

because you haven't discovered

and then found a way to share
what's wonderful about you.

I want you
to get grown-up As, man,

because I love you.

And that just means
you're happy and peaceful.

And that would make you
way above average, man.

Let's get there together.

I will help you all of the time.

Love...

Floyd."

♪ [SENTIMENTAL
PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

- [GROUP APPLAUDING]
- [INDISTINCT MURMURS]

THERAPIST:
Okay, thank you, guys.

Who would like to go next
with this exercise?

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

This is just ripping
through downtown.

If you're anywhere
in the downtown area,

you're gonna want
to shelter in place.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

- I don't--
- Holy sh*t, Forrest! Holy sh*t!

Um... Thank you. Uh, the--

We're gonna find
some shelter ourselves.

That was a little too close
for call.

Nick, I'm gonna want you
to get some shelter.

- You get some shelter.
- Shelter in place!

Shelter in place! Shelter--

- [THUNDER RUMBLING]
- Oh, hey. Hey. Uh...

- CLARK: Hey.
- Uh, that was rude.

I'm so sorry.

What was?

FLOYD SMERNITCH: Uh, I referred
to you by your last name

when I saved you from getting
sliced by that sign.

- [SCANNER BEEPING]
- Oh, I don't--

I don't remember that exact--

I said, "Holy sh*t, Forrest!"

Yeah.

- But you saved me, man.
- But that's...

- [STORE BELL CHIMES]
- ...rude.

Oh, hey. We weren't even
ever properly introduced.

And-- and come on, that was
a pretty intense report, man.

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
We hung in there.

- Yeah, we did.
- I don't think a single deaf

or hard of hearing person
was lost during that cyclone.

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
I don't think anyone was.

Well, you know, good first day.

That-- That was
your first day signing?

No, no, it's my first day
at the station, though.

I've been signing
for, like, a year plus.

Oh. So, you're not,
like, hard of hearing?

FLOYD: No, no, no.

How...
How did you get into, uh...

Uh, I have Peyronie's disease.

That's, um...

- I-- I don't know if--
- FLOYD: Um, it's--

I have a curve in my p*nis
greater than 30 degrees,

so that's Peyronie's. So...

- [STORE BELL CHIMES]
- FLOYD: You know what?

It was just...
You know, it was a great--

great field report, man.
Way-- way to be. Way to be!

Hey, way to be, you too.

[SOFT THUD]

[CHUCKLES]

I'm gonna make sure
that you're working

all of my emergencies,
you know, uh...

The other cyclones,
and flooding and sh*t.

Man, I would love that.
I'm Floyd Smernitch.

Clark Forrest.

- FLOYD: [CHUCKLES] All right.
- Yeah.

♪ ["LET THE SUNSHINE IN"
BY THE 5TH DIMENSION PLAYING] ♪

♪ Let the sunshine ♪

♪ Let the sunshine in ♪

♪ The sunshine in ♪

♪ Let the sunshine ♪

- ♪ Oh, let it shine ♪
- ♪ Let the sunshine in ♪

- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ The sunshine in ♪

♪ Now everybody
Just sing along ♪

♪ Let the sunshine ♪

- ♪ And let the sunshine on in ♪
- ♪ Let the sunshine in ♪

- ♪ Open up your heart ♪
- ♪ The sunshine in ♪

♪ And let it shine on you ♪

- ♪ And when you are lonely ♪
- ♪ Let the sunshine ♪

- ♪ Hey, let it shine ♪
- ♪ Let the sunshine in ♪

- ♪ You gotta open up your heart
And let it shine on in ♪
- ♪ The sunshine in ♪

♪ And when you feel like
You been mistreated ♪

♪ Let the sunshine ♪

♪ And your friends turn
Their backs upon ya ♪

- ♪ Let the sunshine in ♪
- ♪ Just open up your heart ♪

- ♪ The sunshine in ♪
- ♪ Let it shine on in ♪

- ♪ You got to feel it ♪
- ♪ Let the sunshine ♪

- ♪ You got to feel it ♪
- ♪ Let the sunshine in ♪

- ♪ Open up your heart
And let it shine on you ♪
- ♪ The sunshine in ♪

- ♪ You got to feel it ♪
- ♪ Let the sunshine ♪

- ♪ You got to feel it ♪
- ♪ Let the sunshine in ♪

- ♪ When you open up your heart ♪
- ♪ The sunshine in ♪

♪ You got to let
The sun come in ♪

♪ [SONG FADES] ♪

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [CHILDREN CLAMORING]

- EIMY: So, you guys have a son?
- FLOYD: Oh, yeah. Richard.

What's he into after school?

Um, he likes to--
You want a hotdog.

He likes to draw.

- He likes to draw birds.
- Oh. Wow.

Uh, yeah.

Huh, wow. Yeah.

Well, uh-- Well, what--
what do you do at Purina?

I'm, uh, like, an accounting...

- Okay.
- ...clerk.

But I pretty much help
everybody, top to bottom,

with, you know,
like anything accounting, so...

It's Purina National, so...

- Purina National.
- CAROL LOVE-SMERNITCH: Yeah.

Nice.

♪ [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[INAUDIBLE]

- ♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪
- [DISTANT CHATTER]

- EIMY: Oh. Hi!
- CLARK: Hey, man.

- Come on in. Hey there.
- EIMY: Hi, sweetie.

- How’s it going?
- Get in there.

Well, now, we wanted
to repay the favor

for your cornhole thing,
and what have you done?

Yeah, uh, well,
you know, I realized

that you and Carol
didn't get enough,

uh, cornhole at our last party.

I thought I'd give you guys
another, you know, opportunity.

That's... Listen, that's...

come bring 'em on in. Thank you.

- Hey, Clark.
- Carol.

- [CHILDREN CHATTERING]
- [ROCK THUDS]

- FLOYD: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- [ROCK THUDS]

FLOYD : What's the, uh--
What's the activity here?

- Aiming?
- Aiming rocks at Clark's house.

Yeah, I don't, uh...

That's gonna scratch that.

Let's choose a different act--
activity, okay?

- Hey, man,
can I get a little help?
- Uh...

Need to move the swing.
Nice vest.

- Okay. That's a good spot.
- ♪ [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

I like that spot.

Are you sure
this is the best place

for two little girls
to be swinging around?

It's pretty close to the tree.

Yeah, I wanna be able
to keep an eye on 'em from the--

the kitchen.
Uh, to safeguard them.

Oh. That's good common sense.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- CLARK: Isn't that nice?
- FLOYD: Whoo!

♪ [SOFT PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

Hey.

So I saw this thing.

Uh, a segment

while I was waiting
for my broadcast.

FLOYD: Okay?

It was a report--

It was a report about an app.

Uh, dating. Uh...

Well, not-- not--
not really a dating, um...

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

DTF St. Louis.

What's DTF?

"Down To f*ck."

Down to f*ck?

So... [HESITATES]

So you meet these people,
uh, married people.

It's mostly for married people,
the reporter was saying,

uh, who are, uh, very happy,

and they want to stay
in their healthy marriages.

But...

they're also down
to, like, f*ck

people that they've never
met before,

you know, in St. Louis.

So, you can spice it...

without, you know,
creating commitments or...

Spice what?

Spice your life. Spice it up.

♪ [MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

Yeah.

Umpire.

Yeah, you talked about that.
Umpire.

FLOYD: Carol became an umpire
for some extra money.

- [SWING CREAKING]
- FLOYD: An umpire.

I see her in her ump gear,
you know like

puffy chest guard,
and the blazer,

and the mask that's puffy too.
And shin guards and...

And, uh,
we haven't had sex since.

[SWING CREAKING]

FLOYD: [CHUCKLES] Pretty much.

When we'd start having sex,
I'd say to myself,

"Hey, don't think
about the umpire gear."

And then I think about the gear.

And if I wasn't thinking
about it,

and if it's going good, I think,
"Oh, this is going good.

I'm not thinking about Carol
in umpire gear."

And then I think of Carol
in that puff blazer again.

Just, uh...

- [BED CREAKING]
- FLOYD: Yeah.

I'm ashamed.

It's stupid.

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

But those are
my true ump feelings.

- [CLARK HUMMING]
- FLOYD: [CHUCKLES] Whoo!

Whoo!

I'm sure there's something
I do that turns her off.

I don't know what it is,
but I'm sure there is.

[SOBBING SOFTLY]

What?

Nothing, nothing. [SNIFFLES]

What?

[SNIFFLES]

Batman lived.

On this page, I was afraid
he was gonna die.

And then he lived.

I'm relieved.

Yeah, like sometimes,
he has to go back

in his Batman pages
'cause he gets confused.

- [CAROL CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
- Like, "Wait,
who is this guy again?

Oh, wait, it's the bank manager.
Oh!" [CHUCKLES]

It's, uh, yeah, cooled too

with me and Eimy, a little.

FLOYD:
What's flicked your switch off?

- She does charity work.
- FLOYD: Ah.

What-- Well,

why does it turn you off,
charity work? It's good.

It's not the charity part.
Yeah, that part's cool.

Yeah. Uh,
it's just she stays up late

working on her charity stuff.

And I got to get up at 4:00.

- EIMY: Am I a monkey?
- Yes.

- EIMY: Yes? [CHUCKLES]
- Yes, you are. You got it.

- You got it. You are a monkey.
- [WATCH BEEPING]

Oh, this monkey's got
to go to bed.

- All right. Good night.
- EIMY: Aw!

- Good night.
- EIMY: Good round. Good night.

[ALARM BEEPING]

- [ALARM STOPS]
- CLARK: Good morning.

So our pathways,

our, um, our sexual pathways,
they're like...

- Oh, yeah?
- You know?

Maybe one day your pathways
will lead back together.

That would be good. Or...

[CHILDREN SQUEALING, CHATTERING]

- [BUTTON CLICKS]
- [GARAGE DOOR RUMBLING]

- Or, uh, or my...
- FLOYD: Thanks.

...my pathway,
uh, goes somewhere else.

For just a little while.

Then maybe comes back, you know?

Maybe that--
Maybe that would be cool too.

People do that. You know,
like the... like the DTF thing.

- Hey.
- FLOYD: Yeah.

Um, would-- would you like--

Would you like to maybe go
to Outback Steakhouse tonight,

maybe take a peek at that thing?

- The DTF thing?
- CLARK: Mm-hmm.

I-- I don't know.

Would you be into exploring it?

At Outback?

- [EXHALES]
- [BOTTLE WHISTLES]

- I don't know. [CHUCKLES]
- [BOTTLE WHISTLES]

It's just, tonight,
I just, you know, I...

I was thinking
about having a-- a quiet night

at home with the g*ng and...

playing a board game
or something.

Ah.

Hedbanz.

With a Z.

- With a Z?
- CLARK: Yeah.

High-- highly recommend.

[DISTANT CHATTER]

FLOYD: Nice.

Um... [SIGHS] Great. Can you...

Can you actually, uh, split it
between those two cards?

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CARD READER BEEPING]

[ERROR TONE CHIMES]

CASHIER: This one didn't work.

Oh, okay. Yeah,
just put it all on that one.

[BREATHING HEAVILY, SIGHS]

[CARD READER BEEPING]

- [CARD READER CHIMES]
- CASHIER: It worked.

[CHUCKLES] Hey, okay, good.
That's terrific, thank you.

All right, I hear it's fun.

- CASHIER: You heard what's fun?
- Uh, Hedbanz.

CASHIER: Yeah, I don't know.
I never played it.

Okay.

- [ENGINE RUMBLING]
- [ROCK THUDS]

[BREAKES SQUEALING]

[ROCK THUDS]

[CAR ENGINE REVVING]

- [ROCK THUDS]
- Hey, hey, hey.

Gonna play a cool game tonight.

Hedbanz!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- [ROCK THUDS]

- [ENGINE CUTS OFF]
- Hey, what are you--
What are you--

You're aiming rocks
at our house now?

RICHARD: Yeah.

[SIGHS] Maybe we don't do that.

Okay?

Hedbanz!

Okay, girls, it's not a race.

Not a friendship bracelet race.

You just take a...

- Where you going?
- CLARK: Oh.

- Hey. Um...
- Hey.

CLARK: Safety sesh.

- Safety sesh?
- CLARK: Yeah.

Just gonna...

Just gonna stress test
the new swing set,

make sure
it's safe for the girls.

- EIMY: Aw!
- Safety sesh.

- You're a good dad.
- [CHUCKLES]

- Cool.
- EIMY: Yeah.

- Oh, man.
- Thanks.

What do y'all think of that?

- [SWING CREAKING]
- [EXHALES]

♪ [SOFT PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

♪ [PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

FLOYD: Am I, uh,
smaller than a bread box?

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

What's a bread box?

It's a box you put bread in.

- No, we don't.
- FLOYD: No, we don't.

But people do. And it's small.

- Am I smaller than a bread box?
- That is not a good question.

FLOYD:
Why is that not a good question?

Okay, I think what he means is

that what you are
could be smaller

than a bread box,
but it also could be bigger.

RICHARD: Yeah,
you didn't ask a good question.

Well, I mean,
it's a pretty normal question

- for a game like this.
- CAROL: Yeah.

- It's a pretty
normal question, Richard.
- Oh, wait.

- Time's up.
- Well...

You lost.

Yeah, well, I-- I lost

because you were
being argumentative

during my sand time
when I should have been

asking questions
during my sand time.

He's always coming at me.

He was being argumentative
during my sand time.

Why don't you just, you know,
get through it, Floyd?

Not make such a big deal.

I'm not making a big deal
out of it. I'm just saying.

I think we should address
these things

when they come up, you know?

- I think I should take it back.
- The game?

It was like 17 bucks plus.

Well, maybe we'll try again.

- [CAN POPS]
- The Visa's maxed.

Oh. Well, then yeah,
take it back, okay.

- I'm gonna pay it this week.
- Wow.

- I didn't say anything.
- Why do you have a bowl of ice?

Because the ice maker
is broken again.

He keeps coming at me.

He was argumentative
during my sand time.

CAROL: I know, yeah,
during your sand time.

♪ [SOFT SENTIMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

Hey, Carol Love.

Maybe we can think
of something to do

before the sun goes down.

CAROL: Do what? Before what?

♪ [MUSIC TURNS PENSIVE] ♪

CAROL: Have you seen
my umpire pants

and my shin guards?

Why do you need
your shin guards?

So I don't get hit in the shin
with a ball.

- You have a game now?
- CAROL: Two night games.

- One Bronco, one Mustang.
- You have night games?

- CAROL: Yeah.
- Cool.

[ROCK THUDS]

- [SIGHS]
- [ROCK THUDS]

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

- [ROCK THUDS]
- You lost.

I know.

- At the game.
- No, I know.

Can you please not
throw rocks at the...

- RICHARD: Throw what?
- Never mind, nothing.

RICHARD: You still got
that thing on your head.

- [BIRDS CHIRPING]
- [FLOYD SIGHS]

[DOOR OPENS]

- ♪ [SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING] ♪
- [DOOR SHUTS]

- [SNIFFLES]
- [CELL PHONE CLICKS]

[DIAL TONE RINGING]

- CLARK: Hey, man.
- Hey, man.

Uh, Outback Steakhouse.
You still down for that?

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

[TRAFFIC RUMBLING IN DISTANCE]

FLOYD: You got it?

CLARK:
Yeah, just-- just for exploring.

Um, let's see,
we gotta make our profiles.

[COASTER PAGER BUZZING]

Yeah, let's...

FLOYD: Okay.
Um, here's what I got so far.

"Rocksolid," profile name,

because I'm-- I feel like
I'm a pretty dependable person.

"Gentle touch, open heart,
pretty good shape.

Twyla, Missouri."

I put St. Louis area.

You live in Twyla.

Yeah, but it's
in the St. Louis area

and it sounds, uh,

like, a little less suburban
or something.

St. Louis area.

That's true.

Mm, it is true.

We live in the St. Louis area.

Okay.

- ♪ [INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING] ♪
- "Gentle touch, open heart,

pretty good shape,
St. Louis area."

Do you think
I'm in pretty good shape?

[EXHALES]

I'm not saying great.
I'm saying, like, pretty good.

You know what you should write?

- What?
- "Cares about health."

Because it's totally true.

Right? You care
about your health, man. Yeah?

Yeah, I care about my health
in the sense of, like,

I know I'm not in great shape,

and I'd like to be
in better shape.

I think about how I'm not
in great shape anymore

all the time.
It really bothers me, Clark.

Write, "Cares about health."
Sounds good, and it's true.

"Gentle touch, open heart,
cares about health.

St. Louis area."

That does sound good.

That sounds
like I'm in good shape,

even though I'm not,
and it's true.

What happens
when you have a profile?

Someone responds
to your profile.

Then you plan a meeting.
Someplace quiet. Then you meet.

- [WHISPERING]
It's interesting, right?
- Yeah.

[URINE TRICKLING]

FLOYD: It's interesting.
DTF St. Louis.

CLARK: Down to f*ck.

- [CRICKETS CHIRPING]
- I'm down.

FLOYD: You down?

♪ [INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

Yeah, are you?

Yeah, I'd be cool with that.

I'd be cool with that.

[WIND WHISTLING]

♪ [MUSIC CONCLUDES] ♪

♪ ["HELLO SUNSHINE"
BY ARETHA FRANKLIN PLAYING] ♪

- ♪ Hello ♪
- ♪ Hello ♪

♪ Sunshine ♪

♪ It's been dark
For a very long time ♪

♪ I can't explain
What I've been through ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Trying to live my life
Without you ♪

- ♪ Without you sunshine ♪
- ♪ Without you sunshine ♪

♪ The world is such
A lonely place ♪

DEPUTY: [OVER LOUDSPEAKER]
Continue moving.


♪ Without you sunshine
The wind and the rain ♪

♪ The wonders of spring ♪

♪ Don't mean a thing ♪

JODIE PLUMB: Excuse me.

♪ Without you, baby... ♪

DONOGHUE HOMER:
What can I do for you?

You can leave the room, please.

- I need to inspect it.
- ♪ [SONG FADES] ♪

HOMER: Why?

[DISTANT CHATTER]

Okay.

[SIGHS] St. Louis
County Sheriff's Detectives.

What's yours?

Special Crimes.

HOMER: St. Louis doesn't have
a Special Crimes unit.

Twyla does,
which is where we are,

so leave the room, please.

You don't have
a homicide department

out here in the suburbs?

They called us. State office.

It's a St. Louis County
suspicious death.

I am a St. Louis County
Sheriff's homicide detective.

Hmm?

Now, I understand
you need to see the room,

but it's a small space,
so we go in one at a time.

And I'll make sure
nothing gets moved.

And then when I step out,
you come on in, Detective.

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

Okay? Thank you.

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

[HELICOPTER BLADES
WHIRRING OVERHEAD]

[DISTANT SIREN WAILING]

♪ [BROODING MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

- [BIRDS CHIRPING]
- [CELL PHONE RINGING]

And, uh, that
is your five-day forecast.

Now let me send it back
to you, Brandy.

[CELL PHONE BUZZING]

HOMER:
This is everything, no?

- JODIE: This is everything.
- HOMER: Yeah.

This guy had a wife and a kid.

You know, I think Daddy wanted
some private time

with, uh,
his male porno before work.

So he found this little spot.

Shuttered pools.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Brought his, uh,
Lost Ark male porno and...

had a heart thing
with his heart. That's that.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

JODIE:
That photograph isn't sexual.

What do you mean
it isn't sexual? [CHUCKLES]

You can...
I mean, it features a guy nude.

It's not sexual.

It's foolish.

What? He's discovering
some kind of a lost city?

Nude?

- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, looks like it.

You know, some kind
of Mayan something.

You can see all the male stuff.
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

I'm porn positive.

I don't know what that means.

I'm porn positive.

Porn is a part
of my marital sex life.

That's not porn.

Open your phone.
Put in "Indiana Jones and dicks"

and you're gonna see
a lot of dicks. Modern dicks.

Couldn't even get hard then.

You can get hard as sh*t today.

That's not porn. That's...

like a collectible or something,

like baseball cards
or something.

Yeah, but, uh,

people have their own,
like... [CHUCKLES]

Like-- like this guy.

He was into,
like, lost cities, maybe,

and, uh,
treasure hunter men.

So, I mean,
that's his private thing,

personal to him, his thing.

Why is his face scratched over?

- In that way?
- His face?

JODIE: It's scratched over.

HOMER: Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, um...

All right, I...
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I think the way
this is expected to work is,

uh, that you help me
gather information

following my lead
and indications. So...

Um...

Find out what these fit.

And I'll see
what's on his phone,

but he's going to be a normal
sort of person, I'm sure.

And the autopsy's gonna say

heart attack.

Three miles from home.

Suburban dad

with his

secret g*y pages.

Should be able to be yourself
in your house.

Shouldn't have to get up
so early just to be you.

Should be an all-day
kind of a thing.

Okay.

♪ [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[DOOR RATTLES]

♪ [TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

♪ [TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

♪ [UPBEAT R&B SONG PLAYING
OVER SPEAKER] ♪

[MOUSE CLICKING]

Hey, Glenn.

Check out all the, like,
Indiana Jones dicks

and stuff you get
when you just search

"Indiana Jones c*ck
and asses" and stuff.

GLENN PLUMB: Wow.

That dude's getting
an Indiana Jones spit roast.

Yeah.

GLENN: He's got
like an Indiana Jones guy

on either end there.
He's having a real adventure.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, he is.

There's so much.

Makes no sense.

What doesn't?

What the sheriff says
makes sense.

It doesn't to me.

♪ [INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR:
Life Champions, Chapter 19.

Asking someone to speak up,
even when you can hear them,

- is a means of...
- On your left!

...controlling the conversation

and throwing the other person

from their preferred
dialogue rhythms

- and trains of thought.
- Left!

AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR: Remember,
everything is a negotiation.

- On your left!
- AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR:
Someone will walk away

with an advantage.

Make that someone you.

♪ [INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

[INAUDIBLE]

♪ [INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

♪ [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] ♪

[INAUDIBLE]

♪ [MUSIC CALMS] ♪

- [MOUSE CLICKING]
- ♪ [MUSIC BUILDING] ♪

[MOUSE CLICKING]

[MOUSE CLICKING]

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

HOMER: This was
the pool house that morning?

JODIE: Yes.
And that's Smernitch's car.

You know
you're not authorized to...

gather information
that I haven't requested.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I understand.

Yeah. I didn't request this.

♪ [MELLOW SONG PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS] ♪

That is a weird bike.
What is that?

It's weird.

It's supposed to be that way.

Why?

Better for your knees
or something.

Oh.

I've never seen one like it.

You see them sometimes,
not often.

It's like a nerd thing?

- JODIE: Yeah.
- Yeah.

Okay, well, uh, you know,

find out who sells those
in Twyla and around there,

and find out
who owns these around there.

You're authorizing me
to do that?

Yeah.

I'm gonna take a closer look
at his communications.

This is an arranged meeting.

[SIGHS] It's a suburb.

You just don't go bumping
into somebody at 4:00 a.m.

Someone was there with him
at the pool house.

- [HAND CYCLE RATTLING]
- ♪ [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

CLERK: Yeah, two of them.

You sold two bicycles
of that kind?

- Over what time?
- Like, three years.

- Same guy.
- JODIE: Both weird bicycles?

Same guy.
He bought two. I remember.

Do you have a record
of the sale?

Who you sold them to?

I remember who

'cause it was him.

♪ [FOREBODING MUSIC
OVERLAPPING] ♪

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

So your husband just had
the one laptop of his own?

CAROL:
Yeah, he had that one, yes.

Are we gonna get that back?

Uh, we'll get it back to you
as soon as we can.

♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

- JODIE: Detective Homer.
- Ah.

It's the contents
of his computer.

Uh, the victim.

We're logging all of it.

Clark Forrest.
He bought both bikes.

- The weather guy?
- JODIE: Yes.

- The shop sold two.
- HOMER: Right.

He owns both of them.

- Clark Forrest?
- Yes.

- Yeah, uh, Floyd was a...
- [BELL RINGS TWICE]

...a colleague and a friend.

You worked together here?

Yeah, yeah, and--
and he was a friend.

- Pretty good friend?
- Yes.

Yeah, pretty good friend.

Okay. Well, uh, we have
a few questions for you.

We'd like to do that
at the station.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

At the sheriff's station? Today?

Today, yeah.

Yeah, I mean,
if that's good for you,

that'd be real good for us
because, uh...

Well, it's--
it's not far from here. Uh...

Yeah, so are you, uh,
free to come down

and we can just speak there?

I'd... take my own vehicle?

Yeah, yeah.

Sheriff's station. County.
Duvane Avenue.

- We'll see you there.
- We'll see you there.

♪ [BROODING MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

[DISTANT CHATTER]

HOMER:
You own a bicycle like that?

Like what?

That design, you know,
it's an unusual design. Yeah.

We, uh, talked
to the bicycle shop in Twyla,

which is where you live, correct?

Correct?

- Yeah.
- HOMER: Yeah, and they said

that they've only sold two,
just two in a few years, yeah.

Same guy bought 'em both.

That guy was you.

And you're asking, was it me
at the pool house?

I haven't asked you that yet.

CLARK: Okay.

Was it you at the pool house,

the early morning,
the very early morning

Floyd Smernitch was k*lled?

Hmm?

No.

Okay.

Okay?

HOMER: Okay, that's it.
[EXHALES]

- I can go?
- You could always go.

You're not being detained.

[CHUCKLES] That's why
we're here in the lobby.

I just...
I had some questions for you.

Okay.

HOMER: You need a lift home?
Hmm?

No, no, I've got my... my way.

Thank you. What is this?

- Sir?
- No, th-- that's just a notice

that we're gonna keep your phone
when you leave here today.

But you can pick it up
here tomorrow.

What do you do with it?

HOMER: Well, we're gonna catalog

your emails
and text messages.

I think it says
all of them in there.

This says
that you can do that, huh?

Yeah.

[PAPERS RUSTLING]

Okay.

♪ [SOFT DRAMATIC PIANO
MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[HAND CYCLE WHEELS WHIRRING]

[FLOYD PANTS]

Hey!

[IN ASL]

[SIGHS] Oh, boy.

[SIGHS]

♪ [MUSIC CALMS] ♪

♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

Detective Homer.
The weatherman's texts.

Thanks.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
CONTINUES] ♪

- [CELL PHONE BUZZING]
- [SIGHS]

- [BUZZING STOPS]
- [CELL PHONE CLICKS]

I've been reading
the transcripts

of the weatherman's texts
for a while in here.

Uh, quite a while in here.
[CHUCKLES]

- Forrest?
- Yeah.

To the victim's wife.

- Floyd Smernitch's wife?
- Yep.

These three months,
a great number.

Love letters, essentially.

- But... just these few months.
- [PAPERS FLAPPING]

- They were having an affair.
- They were.

Um, lasted a little bit.

She ended it.
She was over it. He wasn't.

She just wanted things
to go back to normal
with her husband

and... he didn't want
to accept that.

JODIE: What about this can?

The toxicology report came back


It says Smernitch died
from a lethal ingestion

of a pharmaceutical amphetamine,

Amphezyne.

His heart stopped.

It was in this can?

That dosage?

A profound amount.

Mixed in a morning drink.

On the morning Smernitch died.

Hidden, no scent, no taste.

Floyd drank it. Thought he was
drinking a Bloody Mary.

He died.

♪ [TENSE DRAMATIC
MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

CLARK: [CHUCKLES] You got it.

Okay, so, uh, early in the week,
we're gonna see some more--

[TIRES SCREECHING]

♪ [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] ♪

Here we go. [SIGHS]

DEPUTIES: Here we go.
Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go.
Here we go. Here we go.

- Here we go. Here we go.
- Keep it down! Jesus.

So, you're probably...

- [DOOR OPENS]
- ...gonna want to bring along
a sweater,

or that-- that light coat
as you'll, um...

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

Hi. Can I help you?

Uh, can you step over
to me, please,

with your hands exposed, please?

- With my what?
- Keep your hands out in front

and step over to me, please.

- Are you talking to me?
- I am.

Now, let's do
what I ask, please.

What is this concerning?

Come over here
and keep your hands out!

Can-- Can-- Can someone, um...
[STAMMERS] What is going on?

You have the right
to remain silent.

- What is going on?
- Anything you say can and...

I'm doing the weather.
What is going on?

You have the right
to an attorney.

♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

[POLICE SIRENS BLARING]

NEWS ANCHOR 1:
Rob, we're going to now report

that WTGK meteorologist
Clark Forrest has been arrested

for the m*rder of American
Sign Language interpreter

Floyd Smernitch.

NEWS ANCHOR 2: The two men
first worked together

on a WTGK broadcast in July,

and have been part of

the Channel 10
Weather Team ever since.

♪ [MUSIC CONCLUDES] ♪

Kind of hard to let
the sunshine in, huh?

Day like today.

Mm.

- [DISTANT ALARM BUZZING]
- [DOOR CLOSING IN DISTANCE]

Are you, uh...

Does that mean the billboard
where I'm holding the sun?

I'm not afraid to talk to you.

I'm not afraid.

Floyd was my friend.

I miss him very much.

- Not afraid to talk to you.
- HOMER: Okay.

Talk to me.

Why'd you k*ll your friend?

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Cornhole. [CHUCKLES]

- I'm sorry?
- CLARK: Events, uh,

events began.

Uh, he threw
a cornhole celebration.

Well, not really a celebration,
it was a, uh,

cornhole party,
cornhole thing at his house.

Hmm.

What's a cornhole thing?

♪ ["SUNSHINE OF YOUR LOVE"
BY OZZY OSBOURNE PLAYING] ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ I've been waiting so long ♪

♪ To be where I'm going ♪

♪ In the sunshine of your love ♪

[IN ASL]

- ♪ I'm with you, my love ♪
- ♪ I'm with you, my love ♪

♪ The light's shining
Through on you ♪

♪ On you ♪

- ♪ I'm with you, my love ♪
- ♪ I'm with you, my love ♪

♪ The morning
And just we two ♪

♪ I'll stay with you
Darling now ♪

♪ Now ♪

♪ I'll stay with you
'Til my seas are dried up ♪

♪ [SINGERS VOCALIZING] ♪

♪ I've been waiting so long ♪

♪ To be where I'm going ♪

♪ In the sunshine of your love ♪

♪ [ELECTRIC GUITAR
RIFF PLAYING] ♪

♪ [SONG CONCLUDES] ♪