01x05 - Gran Canaria

[bunniefuu]

Ladies and gentlemen, now the fight
you have all been waiting for.

On the blue corner, defending champion

Igor "The Executioner" Schmitke.

And on the red corner, the challenger,
a real local from St. Pauli.

Our very own,
who has a great career ahead of him.

Andy "The Pitbull" Horn!

Nice one, Andy!

Nice. Hands up!

Get out! Come on! Get out!

Come on, Andy!

-Get out of the corner.
-Easy for you to say.

Focus now.

Come on, let's go! Ding, ding, ding!

Nutella g*ng?

Your old lady?
Will she spread her legs for me?

Andy, break it up!

Come on, break it up!

When we're done,
I'll go to her to celebrate.

I bet she's not as worn out as you.

What's going on?

Fight!

Hey! Hey, ref!

That was a foul!

Absolute bullshit!

I saw it. Sit down.

I'll get you, you as*h*le!

You're doing great.

Use your head, okay?

Stay calm and focused.

The match isn't about the fists.
It's about the head.

The Pitbull has dug in
and isn't ready to give up.

Now it's all or nothing.

Bite him!

What? What?

Over!

That was a clear foul.

Andy "The Pitbull" is disqualified.

THE PIMP

We didn't know what A*DS was.

Nobody knew what A*DS was.

We just saw how some women and men
around us suddenly got sick,

and then quickly went downhill.

Those that could left the city.

Don't give up on your dream, okay?

But most stayed.

Where could we go?

That's how it is
when you've spent half of your life here.

You put down roots.

What's with the long faces?

Here, look. I got presents.

As quickly as it came, it'll go.
Until then, use these. It's good.

Are you serious?

You know what?

Things are getting too hot. I'm out.

You can afford it.

-For you, this is just a game.
-Shut up, Nadine.

-Come on. I got those especially for you.
-Klaus.

You don't give a sh*t about our health.

Do you want to die for him?

-Only gays get it.
-Bullshit! Anyone can get it.

f*ck you.

Andy?

Your old lady has debts.

Just shut the f*ck up, Klaus.

I can't believe it. No way!
Who does he think he is?

f*ck Klaus and the cash.

I won't work for Klaus,
and neither should you.

He's a psycho.

A selfish as*h*le.

-He doesn't give a sh*t about the women.
-Off!

-We don't need him. He took advantage.
-We need to make money.

What if you talk to Rainer?

He'll give you a job.

No way.

Never again.

-Can't we f*ck normally?
-Just hold still.

I need a cigarette.

Are you afraid of getting me pregnant?

I just want to know what the johns feel
when you use it with them.

What if you did? If you got me pregnant?

Would you marry me then?

I told you, the last one with me, I will--

Last one with you. Right.

Such a cheap line, Klaus.

But I mean it.

And I know that you'll be the one, Lemon.

-We've never gone on a trip together.
-Where do you want to go?

Our whole life is a vacation.

-Good morning, old boy.
-Yours, maybe.

Have fun. Enjoy yourself.

Manu, dear, come over here.

This is Mr. Vogler.

Call me Beatle.

He's the new owner
of our humble establishment.

That's Manu.

Heard a lot about you.

I've heard about you.

She dances.

-She'll get her own number.
-I won't go into the private room.

-Excuse me?
-I won't go into the private room.

I don't want you to.

I want you to sing. I heard you're good.

Since when do we sell stakes to outsiders?
Why is he here?

Frida will be behind bars for a while.
He wants to retire.

Wiener Peter has bought a stake.
30% of Chikago.

I'll keep the rest. What's the problem?
All good.

And the other clubs?

We bought Bamboo, Maroto,
Heisse Ecke, Cherie.

Are you f*cking with me or something?

Dividing all up. Just like that.
Without the Nutella g*ng.

You don't have the money.

What do you know?
We have money you can only dream of.

While you were renovating,
we were saving up.

-Bullshit!
-I'm not a stranger, Klaus.

I know most of the local p*mps
from Playa del Inglés.

You should go.

p*mps from all over Germany
meet up in Gran Canaria.

We also bought Flamingo.

Let's get back to the game.

Do you need money?
I can give you some, so you can get away.

That's what you wanted to tell me?

No.

I wanted to warn you about Beatle.

I should know.
He was my pimp for many years.

Thank you. I'll manage it on my own.

What are you doing here?
Do you want to be like me?

I'm nothing like you.

Manu, I...

I didn't give you up,
If that's what you think.

Back then, wh*res had no right
to keep their kids.

I couldn't do anything. I was alone.

I have to go back in.

Since A*DS dominated the headlines,
Eros had been going downhill.

And that was not
only noticeable in the turnover,

but also in the mood.

-Just a little advance.
-Really? We all need money.

Move your lazy a*s and make some dough!

Make some!

Bernd. Relax, you f*gg*t.

It's the flu, damn it. A normal flu.

-It'll go away as fast as it came.
-Klaus.

We only had two johns all day long.

-Look what the cat dragged in! Andy!
-Hi.

-Can we talk, Klaus?
-Sure. Jump in.

-Come on out!
-No, you come in.

I need a word.

What do you want to tell me?

Can you tell me where you have been?

You haven't been here.
Nor at the poker game.

And your girl hasn't shown up either.

Klaus, Birgit's out. And me too.

I want to get paid out.

Are you on your period?

-Payout? You can't leave.
-I just did it to become a boxer.

It didn't work out. It wasn't meant to be.

And that's why I'm out.

You did become a professional boxer.

-He did, right?
-I did?

-Sure!
-And what are you?

Have you become an artist?

A masterpiece!

By Klaus Barkowsky!

Open your eyes, you dumbass!

We're just f*cking p*mps.

I want a fair share.

-Next time, you better have the cash...
-Or what?

Or what, Andy? Or what?

What's wrong? Are you afraid I have it?

No, it's not that.

What am I to you?

What? You want me to propose, or what?

Don't be so naive.

What you are to me? My f*ck.

I want to f*ck your a*s
and suck your d*ck.

Swallow. Eat, f*ck, sleep.
That's all there is.

And out there,
I'm the biggest ladies' man in St. Pauli.

I didn't make the rules, beautiful. Sorry.

You're a waste of time.

To you, I'm just a pervert.

I just see a man who is unhappy.

I'm not a man.

Come here.

Sometimes life is not easy.

I have two kids.

I left them behind.

But one day, I'll see them again.

Everything will be fine.

Real work can be quite dirty, right?

How's the lovely wife?

Birgit is a simple creature.
How should she be?

Hey! What are you doing?

What do you think?

-I'm throwing out the fish waste.
-We don't throw them out!

-We turn them into fonds.
-"Fongs"?

Fonds. That's French
for boiled fish waste.

People pay 3.50 marks
for a jar of the stuff.

It's all a matter of packaging.

Now get them out of there, on the double!

I think you're crazy.

-You got the cash?
-Sit down. Or are you in a rush?

I'll get the money.
I told you on the phone.

Here, 5,000.

Five thousand?

-For everything?
-Yes.

Are you f*cking with me? What is this?

No, sadly not.

You chose a bad time to leave.

That g*dd*mn plague
is f*cking us right up the a*s.

I'd like to give more,
but there's nothing.

Nothing! Nada. Nien... "Nientas"!

Hey, what smells like fish here?

Is there a p*ssy leaking?

I came from work.

Well, congratulations.

And you don't train anymore either.

Why should I train, Klaus?

-I'm dead to the promoters.
-And you know why?

Because they don't want us
to make it to the upper deck.

Yes, it's true!

Those assholes f*cked you.
The referee, that as*h*le.

Listen to me.

If you help me make us great again,

I'll pay for your second fight.

And we'll do it really big.

Andy "The Pitbull," the great comeback.
The most dangerous boxer!

-Comeback?
-Yes.

Like at my brother's fish business.

We always mix the filth and the waste,

and turn it into something very special.

Fond.

It's just a matter of packaging.

I have a quick question.
How will you pay for my fight?

With your 5,000 or what?

Open your eyes! St. Pauli is dead.

-They're scared of A*DS.
-That's it!

-What?
-Andy, you are a genius.

-What're you saying?
-The johns wanna f*ck.

They're just scared.

We have to repackage the goods.

Come on, people.

The girls aren't the problem,
St. Pauli is.

What if the girls pretend
to be housewives?

Who want to make extra money?

You just have to put them in homes.

Take them out of the brothel
and St. Pauli.

That's good. That's good.

-That's it.
-That's it.

Dude, that's it.

-That's not bad.
-Really good.

He did a really good job. Yes!

That will work.

Hang on.

Where will you get the johns?

Do you want to lure them in at the mall?

Think things through, dumbass.

Well, we could...

place ads in the newspaper.

"Husband rents out housewife." Or so.

Dude, that's it. Andy got it.

That's brilliant!
That's genius! Fantastic!

You're the best.
You deserve the Nobel Prize.

-Nobel Prize.
-Don't tell Birgit. Not a word.

-She thinks I'm respectable.
-Okay.

And I only help
until you pay for my fight.

-Then I'm out.
-Okay.

Everything you want!

-Andy, can I have the money back?
-Give it to him.

Here!

So, a round, please.

-Now, let's celebrate.
-We're back!

One for everyone!

The johns no longer wanted
to come to St. Pauli.

So we made sure
that St. Pauli came to the johns.

A girl sat in each apartment
and played the good housewife.

And her pimp played the cuckolded husband.

It was a bit like Carnival.

And the fools came in droves.

We were back in business.

The only tragedy was...

Andy had a real idea for perhaps
the first and only time in his life,

and his own housewife would never
be allowed to know about it.

MENU

Why did you drag me
to such a hoity-toity joint?

You can't afford this anymore.

We're celebrating.

Birgit, two years ago today,

we f*cked for the first time.

You're really the biggest softie
in the whole world, Andy Horn.

Come here.

Hi!

It's full here. What bullshit.

No way!

Look at that. The two lovebirds.

How are you, Birgit?

All good? Is he behaving?
If not, let me know, okay?

We need another table
for one, two, three, four, five...

Six people, please?
Move the table over here.

Klaus.

Don't make a fuss. We are fine.

Don't you make a fuss, as*h*le.

Come on!

I'm running full speed ahead,

then I turn around,
and Andy's still standing there.

He's still standing there!

He's taking a beating.
But I was the one with the big mouth.

Hasn't changed much, has it?

-Others still take the beating for you.
-Birgit, let it go.

What should I let go?

He still lets his women work,
even if they might die of A*DS.

Man, don't make such a fuss!

They're careful. It's all easy.

You sit around and scratch your ba*ls.

But if Heike gets it,
will you still think everything is easy?

Your old lady is a bit tense.
She needs a good f*ck. Right?

You can't think of anything else!

But f*cking is over. You're finished!
Your business is dead.

Andy did the only right thing
when he told you to f*ck off!

You don't know
about the apartments, do you?

What apartments?

I don't know what she's talking about.
Come on, let's take off.

We have a new floor.
In a fancy apartment building.

-On Osterstrasse in Eimsbüttel.
-Could she shut up?

This is pissing me off.

Stop it!

We play good housewives for the johns.

And do you know who came up with the idea?

Maybe you should talk to your old man
first before insulting mine.

-Let me through.
-Come on, Birgit!

-Let me through.
-Wait a second.

What is this supposed to be?

-Get your girl to heel.
-Why can't you shut up?

g*dd*mn it. Birgit!

Birgit!

Come on, Birgit!

-Hello.
-Hello.

-Good evening.
-Good evening.

You know what happens now, right?

If you lock me up,

Manu won't have anyone left.

Well, guys? Are you up for a cool show?

-Yeah, I don't know.
-Why so shy? Come on, you horny b*stards.

I see you have some steam to blow off.

Here comes her pimp.
Let's get out of here.

Are you crazy?

Why are you going after johns?

Save your voice for the stage.

-I'm just warming up my voice.
-Warming up your voice?

You're as stubborn as Jutta.

What? Did she tell you
horror stories about me?

It's all true.

Get on. I want to show you something.

When I met your mother,

she was already in St. Pauli.

She worked for Frida Schulz.

I paid him a lot of money for her.

But she was worth it.

Man, I was so in love with her.

She wasn't in St. Pauli
because she needed the money.

Her dad, your grandpa,
was a filthy rich moneybag.

But she loved the needle.

Still does.

You don't believe me?

Ask her dealer.

She has always loved a fix more
than anything else.

Trust me.

Even more than you.

That's not true.

I was taken from her.

That's what she told you?

And she did everything to find you?
Come on, Manu!

Hamburg is a port city.

For centuries, the sailors
have been drinking away their money here,

starting fights,
raping the daughters and wives

of good merchants.

And that's the reason
why St. Pauli exists.

That's why...
there's a red light district.

That's why the Eros Center was built.

And that's why we tolerate
creatures like you.

You...

are our zoo.

A zoo for all those who don't know
how to behave in our beautiful city.

For scum like you.

Get drunk, follow your sins,
fight each other, I don't care, but...

stay in your cage.

-Let's get moving!
-Get out.

Faster!

What's taking so long?

This disease…

It has something going for it.

Yes, it's thinning out
the margins of society.

We were locked up for a few weeks.

When we got back to Eros,
we were left high and dry.

The fine, the lawyer...

We have nothing left.

-We're f*cked.
-That's what I said.

We were finished.

Klaus!

Sailors!

But then the Starke Wehr 82 showed up.

We have customers. Get dressed up. Quick.

4,500 reservists
and 3,000 American soldiers

met for a NATO exercise
in the south of Hamburg.

America!

And the troops needed moral support.

Get in a row.

Here are our women.

German-American friendship.

Look here.

She's a virgin.

Only with... condom.

Without... No.

Girls...

Listen to me for a moment.

Maybe it's true, okay?
And St. Pauli is a g*dd*mn zoo.

But you know what?

People come here from all over the world,
because it's hot.

We offer something
you can't get anywhere else.

And do you know
what's the best thing in every zoo?

The big cats.

That's you.

You are the queens of the jungle.

Let's go.

Get your claws out and get them!

Either they wear condoms
or they can f*ck off.

Heike, you're going to a room with him.

You know what, Klaus?

Shove your zoo up your a*s.

Stop it!

Shut up!

-One more!
-Klaus! You're going to k*ll our baby!

What baby?

Okay, boys. I go with you.

Sure? No condoms?

Who else wants me?

You all want me? All together?

Let's go.

I have an old buddy.
He has a bakery in Friedrichskoog.

It's nice there.

-I don't know anyone there.
-You can do an apprenticeship there.

You'd have a job.

Here.

-Fifty marks for the train.
-Why would I go to some f*cking bakery?

Are you crazy?

Get on that g*dd*mn train.

Hi.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Good evening.

What's going on here?

Are you the new Schulz?

Get out of the chair.

-I said, get out of that chair.
-The club belongs to Fritz and me.

You and Fritz will soon
get your asses kicked.

Beat it.

Does the GMBH now make the rules
or something?

Who else?

You?

Stop blabbering. Play. Now.

Oh, Klaus.

I have a question.

Go ahead.

Is it actually true...

that at your place,

a whole g*ng of sailors
gets to f*ck the same woman?

Without a rubber?

Man, man, man.
You guys must be really desperate.

She was probably so high
she didn't even notice.

Okay, let's go.

Women!

Klaus. Now, let's be honest.

You're on your last leg.

I'll make you an offer.

I'll buy you out.

Fifty thousand for each of you.

For the floor at Eros.

-Fifty thousand in cash?
-No. In trading cards.

Of course in cash!
Golden exit or doom per declaration.

One, two, three.

Klaus, we're out.

Fifty thousand! It's a good offer.

I'll get us back on top.

First-class jumbo jet. Just wait and see.

-What are you doing here with him?
-He owns the club where I work.

And you know what? He supports me.

-I can sing now!
-The oldest trick in the book.

"Listen to their dreams
and yours come true."

Come on, Manu. Hey, you're not stupid.

Why did you want to keep me from him?

Is Beatle my dad?

You don't even know, do you?

I'm not even mad at you anymore.
You're a junkie.

f*ck off!

So, Mischa? Are you nervous?
Worried about your blow-dry?

-Mischa.
-Mischa...

Come on, play!

Klausi-Mousey.

Don't let him provoke you. Breathe.

Look at me.

I'm in, too.

That's not enough.
I can see it. No need to count.

-You want my watch?
-Have you seen mine?

-What do you want?
-Put Mommy on the table.

-Mommy?
-Didn't you get enough of an allowance?

-g*dd*mn!
-What do you think I want?

What does he want?
Andy, what does he want?

Starts with an F.

-F...
-You want my floor.

-He wants my floor.
-Yes.

I bet my floor.

Okay.

I'm in.

-I bet ours.
-Are you nuts?

Straight flush! Quite a hand.

Yes! Oh, yeah!

Yes.

Yeah!

Oh, yes.

You should've put Mommy on the table.

Stay a bit longer.

sh*t!

The whole f*cking St. Pauli
is a pile of sh*t.

Hey.

Klaus, what's up?

I lost everything.

What did you lose?

The floor.

I gambled away the floor.

What did you do?

That's all we had.

Klaus!

Hey!

I did everything for him.

Always. I always
stuck my neck out for him.

I even went to jail because of him.

That wasn't Klaus. That was me.

What?

What?!

They told me they'd leave you alone.

That they'd only bag Klaus.

It was you?

You talked to the cops?
You ratted us out to the cops?

I just wanted it to stop! For you too!

We went to jail because of you.
Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?
You are a lying c**t!

Lying c**t!

-I'm leaving.
-No!

You stay. Look at me.

Look at me.

Maybe it really is fate
and I should give up.

And get out of here,
away from this sh*thole.

If anyone can get back on their feet,
my boy, it's you.

When your father died,
we sat here, too, remember?

Mr. Schulte from downstairs was here.
He was always hitting on me.

And when he hurt me once,

you said,

"Erika, you don't need other men.

"You have me."

I never meant it that way. I was a boy.

That's you.

You have sunshine in your heart, right?

Sunshine in your heart.
And you always knew what to say.

To make a woman smile again.

You.

Yes.

Yes, yes.

You can do that. It's your talent.

Sweetheart.

Wait a second. Thank you.

Hey, buttercup.

There you are.

I have a lot to make up for, I know.

Look.

-Gran Canaria?
-Yes, a vacation.

You wanted this. Let's do it.

Look, first-class jumbo jet.

-That's the terminal.
-No, it's first class.

So people, pack your bags!

Get out of this shitty weather!
We're off to Gran Canaria!

Yes, things haven't been good lately,
I know. We've all taken a good beating.

But when I was clearing out my floor,
I found a shoebox.

I thought to myself, "Is this fate?"

And then I bought tickets for everyone.
Why be stingy?

Because...

Because... Listen to me.

We'll get our floor back.

I got a k*ller plan.

First, let's recharge.
The sun always shines after the rain!

You can't ever forget that!

Gran Canaria, here we come!

Heike, look.

Look how high up we are. Just have a look.

Look how high up this is.

Take this away! Take this thing!

I thought you were on the pill.

I must have forgotten to take it.

Where's the bubbly?