01x06 - Debspringa

[bunniefuu]

[ Sobbing ]

Woman:
Rumspringa is an Amish tradition
in which boys and girls

experiment
with a new way of life

in order to gain perspective
on their own.

They can choose to return
to their old lives

or be banished forever.

Three busy Debras decided
to steal this idea.

Get a room!

Ladies,
tomorrow is Debspringa!

I forget, what's Debspringa?

Explain, and fast.

-It's annual.
-Go on.

Debspringa is the one day a year
where we take a break

from the rigors
of our busy lifestyle.

I don't remember where I came up
with the idea.

[ Sobbing continues
in distance ]

The only way to appreciate
all that we have is to leave

our lives and make a really,
really big deal about it.

Let's see if we all
come back tomorrow,

or maybe I'll never
see you again.

[ Bell tolls ]

Together: Bye!

♪♪

♪♪

Christina Da Vinci
checking in.

Welcome back.

You're in room...

one.

He's waiting for you.

This never happened.

♪♪

Man:
Come on, door is open.

It's not, actually.

You just have to push
really hard.

No, it's not a matter
of strength.

You locked the door.

The door is locked.Relax, I'm coming.

Okay, don't tell me to relax.

Was that so hard?

Hey, you.

You, file that paperwork.
You, file my taxes.

You, file your nails, ew!

Madam Secretary Karen Con Leche,
what's your BMI?

I don't have time for this.

The vote on my big bill
is this afternoon.

If Congresswoman Simpson
wants to be

on the right side
of her-story,

she'll vote with me
and the women of Lemoncurd.

Also, my BMI is four.

This just in --

Secretary Karen Con Leche's
BMI is 400.

She's huge![ School bell rings ]

Popsicle:
Attention, Lemoncurd High,
this is Principal Popsicle.

Today's football practice is
being moved to my house. Yes!

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

Excuse me,
could you point me

in the direction
of electricity class?

How's this for your
electricity class?

Ow!

That stings.

[ Laughter ]

The theme for this year's
prom is lunch.

[ School bell rings ]

Aah![ Laughter ]

Whoa!

Ow! Ow, ow!What? No!

No, I'm kidding.

You know, I've been
a lot of places,

and I've met
a lot of people,

but no one removes
their thumb the way you do.

I really missed you,
Jason.

I've missed you, too.

You feel like home.

All we've got
is today.

Let's make it count.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Are you okay?

You look like you
just saw a ghost.

It was nothing --

two nothings,
to be exact.

Let's just focus
on us.

We are the only two people
in the entire world.

♪♪

♪♪

You still drink
your old usual --

whiskey milk,
hold the whiskey?

I'm off the stuff.

I'll take an ice water,
hold the ice.

♪♪

Mm.

Good year.
Where did you get this?

Cut the crap, Con Leche.

I know why you're here.

You want my vote, and I'll
save you some stinky breath.

The answer is no.Come on, Homra,

this is me
you're talking to.

Remember the old days?Mnh-mnh.

We shared a bed
in law school.

I sang you to sleep
every night?

♪ Good night, little Homra

♪ You look tired today

♪ You can tell on your face,
you look sleepy ♪

♪ You have dark circles
under your eyes ♪

No, don't pull that.
You don't control me anymore.

I fall asleep all by myself
these days,

and I'll decide
how I'm going to vote.

Well, just remember --

the women of Lemoncurd
are counting on you,

myself included.

♪♪

In conclusion, these are the
eyes, and this is the mouth.

Now, for our next lesson,
I'll need a volunteer.

How about Gabigail Guzzler?

Come on, don't be shy.

First things first --
fix this basic circuit board.

What's wrong with it?

That's for me to not know,
and you to figure out.

[ Laughter ]

I've got it.

It's a trick question.

It can't be fixed.

It's not, and it can.

All it takes is a little
elbow grease and half a brain.

[ Laughter ]

You're not up for the task,
Miss Guzzler.

All: [ Chanting ] Moron,
moron, moron,

moron, moron, moron, moron,

moron, moron, moron,
moron, moron.[ School bell rings ]

Psst, good luck
getting a date to prom.

Men are most attracted
to intelligence, idiot.

♪♪

I'm going to light you up
like the Fourth of July.

♪♪

I should probably
be getting back.

Stay with me.
Every day could be this perfect.

It's not that simple.

It's never been
that simple.

I can't just leave my husband
as much as you might want me to.

Why not?
It's not that complicated.

People make decisions
every day.

Don't you want to be happy?

[ Bell tolls ]

I can't do this.

I'm sorry.

Me, too.

Tell Mom I said "hi."

She says
you don't call enough.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Electricity humming ]Clear!

[ Sighs ] I feel the answer
is right under my nose.

Achoo!

♪♪

[ Electricity crackles ]

Just like a circuit board
would do!

I really did it.

Whoa,
this circuit board,

it's buzzing and lit.

It's perfect.

Now finish the job.

Finally, this chair is up
and running again.

Good job, kid.

I'm older than you.

All: [ Chanting ]
We want the chair,

the chair, the chair!

We want the chair!That was amazing.

Will you go to prom
with me?

[ Bell tolls ]We want the chair...

I wish that I could,
but it's time for me

to go home to my easy,
empty life...

♪♪

...and you can [bleep] me
there.

What a woman.

♪♪

♪♪

I'm counting on you,
please be cool.

I'm always cool.
Remember this?

Attention, it's time to vote
on HR-126,

brought to the floor

by Madam Secretary
Karen Con Leche.

All those in favor,
say "aye,"

followed by
anything you'd like.

Aye caramba!

♪♪

Aye, yai, yai.

[ Spectators murmuring ]

♪♪

Aye...

think I'm going
to like it here.

[ Applause, gavel banging ]

The measure passes,
three votes.

That is an unprecedented
majority.

♪♪

Today is an historic day.

Thanks to an bipartisan effort,
every woman in Lemoncurd

will be implanted with
a mandatory tracking device

for safety and also for fun.

[ Applause ]

♪♪

[ Bell tolls ]

It was great working with you
again just like old times.

I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I'm going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you,
too.

So why don't you stay?

You can have it all.

I don't want it all.

I want nothing
and no respect.

Besides...

you know
where to find me.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

So we all came back.

♪♪

Of course we did.

♪♪

What else would we do?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪