02x06 - Los Personas Invisables

[bunniefuu]

- What are you doing?

- Uh, I'm trying
to figure out what to write

in this retirement card for... Esperanza?

Whoever that is.

- What about, "Retirement is like
getting a lifetime achievement award.

The only thing left to do is die"?

That's perfect.

Hey, I could write it in Spanish.

You know, my buddies in college
used to call me Tex-Mex

because yo hablo un poquito Spanish.

- I always love hearing your
incredible stories from college, Matt.

Anytime you remember one,
even if I'm sleeping,

wake me up and tell me.

- Wait a second, that's not right.

- Ay, que linda, muchas gracias.

- Um--

Sí.

Bueno.

- No.

- Daryl?

- Okay.

So we can't open for another three weeks?

- That's the best-case scenario.

It takes forever
for the paperwork to go through.

- But don't you know the guy
who works at the zoning office

who handles all this sh*t?

- That's the problem.

He hates my f*cking guts.

- f*ck, man.

- What the f*ck?

Aw, hell, nah, dawg.

Somebody washed my 501s?

You're supposed to dry-clean these.

- What t*rror1st cleaned
my f*ck' underwear?

I jerk off into these
and sell 'em for a hundred dollars a pop.

That is a week's worth
of c*m down the drain.

Mama!
- What?

- Mama.

- Remember when you
hit that curb a few weeks ago?

- Okay, but promise me you'll wear these?

Gracias.

Señora.

Uno, dos, tres.

Okay.

Gracias.

Good morning.

Good morning, Señora Eggsorbacon.

- Whoa.

What's going on?

My head hurts.

- Oh, you fall down in the street.

- Oh, no.

What happened?

- You no remember?

- No.

- A big bird, bad bird attack you.

- Oh. My goodness.

- But I save you.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, thank you very much.

Oh. Mm.

Uh-uh.

You are my angel.

Wait, but you're not my cleaning lady.

- Oh... yes, it's me.

You hit head hard, really hard.

No worry.

You rest. I clean.

- Oh.

Oh.

- Fresh laundry.

- Little sock bunnies.

- Boop, boop, boop.

- How adorable.

- You rest now. I go.

- Uh, are you coming back tomorrow?

I don't like being alone in this house.

- Oh... yes.

I come tomorrow.

Wonderful.

Before you go,
you take those earrings over there.

It's a gift for saving my life.

Lord knows I don't need 'em anymore.

- They are beautiful.

Thank you, Señora Englandfartson.

Aw.

- Hey, Mom.

Hey.

- ¿Sí?

It's nice to relax for a change, right?

Hmm.

¿Qué?

- That's my husband,
my late husband, Gregory.

He was an artist.

Gregory used his art
to speak out about important issues.

This one is a commentary
on the prison industrial complex.

And this one promotes health and fitness.

- Really nice paintings.

That is Gregory and his best friend Tony.

Tony was a g*y, but Gregory didn't care.

He was a real progressive.

Sometimes he and Tony
would even go off together

to the forest camping,

get away from the women.

Is this you?

- Yes, that's me.

It was at one of Gregory's art openings.

It was called Inside Tony.

It was all about Tony's inner life.

- Oh, you're so beautiful.

Like a movie star.

- Oh, goodness,
look at all the makeup I have on.

I haven't used makeup like that for ages.

Oh, those glasses look
gorgeous on you, Esperanza.

You should wear them all the time.

- Muchas gracias, señora.

- Put some of that rouge on you.

- Me?

- I'm not gonna get dolled up all alone.

That's no fun.

Do you believe in ghosts, Esperanza?

- Ghosts?

Yes.

- So do I.

I've always believed
there are ghosts in this house.

- Ghosts here?

- I can feel them.

They're always around.

Will you see who it is?

- What are you doing here?

She's the cleaning lady.

- Oh, right.

Of course.

Cleaning lady.

Hey, Gam-Gam.

Gam-Gam, are you alright?

What the hell happened?

- I fell.

I was attacked by a giant bird.

- A bird?

- A big, bad bird.

A eagle.

- An eagle?

Like a bald eagle?

- Yeah, bald eagle, no hair.

- A bald eagle.

I thought those were extinct.

- Only one left and hate your Gam-Gam.

A big, bad, bald bird.

- Whoa.

- But I'm fine now
thanks to my angel, Esperanza.

- Esperanza?

- The lady you just met.

Oh. Right. Of course.

Muy gracias, Esperanza.

- De nada.

I go on and clean now.

- I'm gonna call Animal Patrol.

They can't just let bald eagles
fly around the city like that.

Are you sure you're okay?

I'm not dead yet.

I'm gonna go, Gam-Gam.

It was great seeing you.

And, um, I will call Marjorie
and tell her what we talked about.

- Okay, and come again soon.

You're the only grandchild who visits me.

- Oh, I didn't realize comida
was included in your service.

- Yes, señor.

- Oh, oh, Matthew, wait.

Uh, before you go,
take one of your grandfather's paintings.

He would've wanted you to have one.

No offense, Gam-Gam, but

I don't think anybody wants
any of Pop-Pop's paintings.

Muy gracias.

No.

No, no.

- Oh yeah.

- The casa is looking great.

...bad news.

Malo.

...is gonna be your last week.

Uh, tu último semana.

- I do wrong thing?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's just we're selling la casa.

...are coming at the end of...

So--

...anymore.

- Mi Gam-Gam is moving
to a, um, retirement home.

Um--

Porque...

Ooh. Boo!

- Uh, I call.

Okay.

- Buenos Aires to you, too.

You're leaving?

- Oh, dear Lord.

Oh, yes.

- Because of the ghost?

- I didn't want to upset you, but

this house is full

of spirits.

I can't stay here any longer.

I feel like I'm constantly being watched.

It's horrible.

- But this house so beautiful.

You make the ghost go.

- Oh, I wish I could,
but I don't know how.

I'm going to miss you, Esperanza.

- But I know how.

Yeah.

I can make the ghost go, leave,

so you can stay and I can stay, too.

- What are you gonna do?

Uh, you should be careful
not to upset them

because it's not good
to make ghosts angry.

- Ah, don't be afraid, señora.

I deal with them many times.

I know what to do.

Are there any ghost here now?

- Sí, Esperanza.

I can feel them.

- Get out of here, m*therf*ckers!

Son of a b*tches!

Oh.

The spirits, I don't sense them anymore.

I... I can't believe it.

- This is your house.

You tell the ghost who the boss.

You have problem, you call me.

I ghostbuster.

- Thank you, Esperanza.

You are my guardian angel.

- So we stay?

We stay here?

- Sí, Esperanza.

Oh, no, the ghosts
are trying to get back in.

You must have made them angry.

- Stay back.
Stay back!

They're gone.

- Wow, how exciting.

Thank you for calling
Los Angeles County Animal Control.

Leave a message and we'll get back
to you soon as possible.

Yeah, hey, Animal Control.

This is Matt Engelbartson

and I got a bone to pick
with you f*ck, okay?

Because my Gam-Gam
is bleeding out her ears right now

because some f*ck' bald eagle
decided to attack her

right in front of her house.

Is this how you run a city?

Is this civilized society?

Because I don't think so.

I don't think we should just have
bald eagles running around the city

doing whatever the hell they like, okay?

My Gam-Gam is 92 years old

and she doesn't deserve
to be treated like this

by some bald f*ck' eagle
that should be extinct.