01x09 - Mariana van Zeller Investigates

[bunniefuu]

Mariana: We wanted to
do a story about fentanyl.

There was one specific lab
right in sinaloa territory in

The sierra madre
mountains of mexico.

It took us 4 hours to get there.

We're never sure of how
it's going to work because

We're never given any details.

It's nighttime already
and we enter this lab,

Which was one of the
craziest things, I've seen.

And there they are,
the whole sort of lab and

The lab workers
and the chemist...

Mariana: So this, he's saying,
is the base to create the pills,

The m-30 pills, the mexican oxy.

I don't think people
understand that this is the

Most dangerous drug
in america, you know,

Just two grains of
salt worth this drug can

k*ll you instantly.

¿ponemos las máscaras ahorita?

Man: Sí, ya.

Mariana: Okay, everybody,
we should put the masks on.

This is where it starts
getting dangerous here.

We put on the masks and
the suits and everything and

Then suddenly
the process starts.

Mariana:
This is the pure fentanyl.

They mixed all the
liquids that come from asia,

A lot of times from china.

They mix it and they make this.

Mariana: This is the moment
where you really start seeing

How fragile this process is.

I'd done my research and I
knew that people who work in

These labs die very often.

Look at this stuff.

Mariana: I'm hoping, really,
really hoping this guy knows

What he's doing here.

Mariana: Even through the mask,

You could smell and feel
the intensity and see

Because there's
fumes everywhere...

And that's when I started
getting, very nervous,

And I turned to my crew and
we were all wondering if

It was even a good
idea for us to be there.

(theme music plays)

Mariana: I've always
been very curious,

And the less I know about
something the more I want to

Know about something.

In a way if they
tell me, you know,

It's sort of a challenge to me.

I'm also very competitive.

So if somebody tells
me that that's a world,

I'm sorry you're never going
to get access to that world

And it's dangerous
or it's secretive,

Then that's exactly what
I want to do and where

I want to go next.

I do truly believe that where
journalism should really lie

Is in shining a light in
worlds that we know little

About and here's an
opportunity to gain access and

Dig really deep into worlds,
that we know so little about,

I mean, who are these people
that operate in these worlds?

How exactly do these power
structures work and what's the hierarchy,

And how does
a certain thing go from

Point a to point b?

All of that has
always fascinated me.

Mariana: But mainly it's
always been about the people

At the center of it.

I've always been fascinated
by the people that operate:

The traffickers
or the smugglers.

You know, the people
that we call criminals.

And I've realized
very early on, while,

When I started reporting on them
and spending actually time with them,

That it is so much greyer
and it's really not as

Black and white as that,
it's a lot more grey.

And nobody is born
deciding, you know,

One day I want to become
a pimp or I want to

Become a drug dealer.

It's for whatever reason,
a lack of opportunity,

Conditions that led
people into those worlds.

The underworlds are all these
sort of black markets and

Criminal organizations and
trafficking networks that

Exist around the world that
usually we tend to have very

Little access to even though
they are all around us.

We tend to think that, you know,

Whatever is happening in
china or in south america,

That it doesn't have
a direct impact in what's

Happening right here
in our daily lives,

But it's actually not the case.

It does have a direct impact.

For example the sinaloa cartel

If they figure out a way
to easily make fentanyl,

A new drug, and
ship it across the us,

That immediately has an
effect on the number of deaths

Here in the united states.

I had a journalism
professor who once told me

That the best kind of journalist
goes as far as they can,

As close they can to the story,

They don't cross the line,
but they have to make sure

They come back with
chalk on their feet.

And I've always loved that
line because it's this idea

That you have to be able to
get as close as possible and

In certain cases, in the
storytelling that I do,

As close as possible,
involves obviously there's a

Risk involved in that.

Oh okay, so here we're
deep in rock already.

Mariana: Did you really?
Like electrocuted?

Pete: Yeah.

Mariana: There's electric
wires hanging everywhere and

Pete our cameraman
just got electrocuted with

One of the wires here.

Cause there's water
and electricity,

What could possibly go wrong?

(speaking in native language)

It looks that there was just
a water pipe that broke here.

Again, this is so crazy.

I mean, electrical
wires everywhere,

Water pipes broken,
it's really slippery,

And we're already about,

What, like 50
meters underground,

So about 150 feet.

Man: Sí está subiendo
agua de aquí,

Es porque está subiendo de allá

Mariana: So, I've
been to colombia before

And I'd reported on
the gold w*r there.

And there was an opportunity
to go back after the end with

The peace deal and supposedly
with the end of farc,

The rebel group,

We had the opportunity
to go back and see what

The situation was like.

And what we found out
was that actually,

ill*gal gold mining
had only expanded.

These large swaths of
territory that before were

Impenetrable because of farc
were now open, opening up and,

We for the first time
would be able to gain access

To some of these areas.

We knew that the money that
was coming out of these gold

Mines was still fueling
the violence in colombia.

So it was important for
us to see where this gold

Was all coming from.

The first time we
went to colombia, the,

The ill*gal gold mine that we
had access to was actually a

Huge open pit with
hundreds of people,

Sort of working and
digging and digging and

Looking for gold.

So that's what I thought we
were going to film and we get

There and we had no idea but
it was actually an underground

Sort of a tunnel that was
underground all the way,

All dug by hand and
incredibly dangerous.

None of this feels safe
right now, none of it.

Because there was no
electricity here all morning,

They weren't able to remove
the water so now all the

Miners are actually
mining deep with water up

Until their waists.

(speaking in native language).

Mariana: Ok we're going,
the water is actually colder

Than I thought.

Oh my god, this
is totally crazy.

You know, I've never been
a big fan of gold, anyway,

I'm not a big jewelry
person, this is all copper.

So yeah I've done mining
stories all around the world,

I've covered diamond mining
in sierra leone for example,

And I think there's just
always a complete disconnect

Between these products and
the understanding in the west,

Of where they came from,
and the suffering,

And the risk that
is attached to it.

This is by far one of
the craziest things I've

Ever done in my life.

My main goal that day was that I
wanted to get to the end of the mine,

I wanted to see where
they were actually picking

At the rock and, and
getting you know these pieces

That they than carry
up to look for gold.

Mariana: And yeah,
there was a moment,

Where we thought maybe
it's time to go back...

Mariana: But also it's one
of those situations where the

Curiosity just got the
best of me, and it's like,

We're so close, we're so close.

Mariana: This is the
narrowest part so far.

So this is where
they are mining.

Right up there.

So, the conditions
are crazy here.

These guys do this
every single day.

And it's insane because
there's water leaking everywhere,

I'm soaking wet,
there's a really nasty smell,

And very thin air.

I'm having a hard
time breathing.

So, what they are doing
here is they are digging

For more and more dirt.

And then they fill these bags
up that weight up to 80 kilos,

Over 160 pounds and
they take these bags,

They carry them on
their backs up to the top.

It is insane to think
that these guys do this

Every single day.

Again, what's holding this
together are these wood logs here,

But again there's water
leaking everywhere so you

Get the sense
that this could collapse,

But zero security.

There was enormous relief
as soon as we got out.

There was fresh air,

We could take out
our helmet, our boots.

Literally we took off our boots,

Turned them around and
there was water coming out,

Lots and lots of
water coming out.

So, there was enormous relief.

But mostly just an enormous
admiration for the miners who

Have to do this day in
day out and all because,

Again, there's a lack of
opportunities in this area of

Colombia and for them
this is really the only way

That they can bring back
food for their families.

(speaking in native language).

Mariana: What they're
doing is ill*gal,

But who could criticize them?

Any one of us put in that
position would do the same.

So, when I enter these
worlds and I go to these sort

Of more dangerous territories,

Truly many times
the last thing on my mind

Is, is the danger element.

It is much more being able to
get the story but also making

Sure that I am getting the
real story and the truth.

Mariana: In the battle
between curiosity and

Fear that I have
within me all the time,

Curiosity always wins
and sometimes that's

Not a good thing.

I mean, there have been
plenty of situations where

You've realized ooh,
this can turn ugly real fast...

Let's go, let's go.

Okay, so we were spotted
by somebody up on the road.

And there have also been
situations where things have

Turned ugly super-fast.

We have to get to the
car and get out of here.

Mariana: So, cocaine is one
of the most famous or infamous

Drugs in the world, right.

It turns out that a vast
majority of the cocaine that's

Consumed in the us
actually comes from peru.

So, we headed down there and
one of our main goals was to

Be able to actually
see what an ill*gal cocaine

Lab looks like.

There's not even
a moon out that night so

It's completely dark.

And we can't draw
attention upon us.

If the neighboring
community see us,

They will come after us,
so you have to hike for

30 minutes down
into the jungle with

Poisonous creatures...

I can't see (bleep),
I can't see (bleep).

Any situation that involves
animals I am terrified.

Mariana: And somehow, at
some point, 30 minutes later,

45 minutes later, we
actually get to this area.

Man: Uh-hmm.
Mariana: Wow. This is it.

It's right here.

Where they tell us ok,
turn on your lights.

And there it was,
right in front of us,

A huge maceration pit;

It was the size of an olympic pool,
if not bigger...

Mariana: It was almost
like a movie, like lights on,

And there it is,
massive cocaine pit.

Everything you've ever
wanted to film, right here.

Mariana: So they've
been doing this for three days.

And now this is the final step,

Which they mix it with salt.

And now it's ready to be moved
on to smaller containers to the lab.

Mariana: Wow.

You know, there's lime,
there's ammonia, there's gasoline,

All these different
ingredients and chemicals...

Chemist: Uh-huh.

Mariana: Being poured into
this that is very soon going

To be made into cocaine and then
transported all the way into the us.

The smell of
this process is so overpowering,

And we were all
getting headaches.

Mariana: It was also insane
to see the amount of different

Chemicals and dangerous
stuff that goes into cocaine.

I certainly had no idea
that it was this bad.

And then he tells me,
oh, no but the end product

Is very, very pure.

I have some here,
do you wanna try it?

I didn't but he insisted that
this was very pure cocaine...

Suddenly the guy
turns to us, and says,

"ok, guys, we've been spotted."

Mariana: Okay, they
have to speed it,

We have to speed it up, guys.

Mariana: Okay guys,
we have to go right now.

The communities know we're here,

And they're going to come
after us and they're going to

Harm us so we have to get out
of here as fast as possible.

Let's go, let's go.

Okay, so we were spotted
by somebody up on the road.

They said we have to get to
the car and get out of here.

What took us 45 minutes
to come down...

We have to go fast.

Actually took us about
5 to 10 minutes to go up.

No, no, no.

Are they all inside?

It was super nerve-wracking.

And then we get into the car
and we all turn to each other

And there's a moment
where we were like,

I can't believe
that just happened.

But those are moments that
sort of you can use to your

Advantage and realize,
ok, time to recalibrate,

Time to realize what's
important here and how we can

Have to sort of go back
to the drawing board, and,

And be better at
making these decisions.

Because, no story is worth
anyone's life, obviously.

But yeah, I mean there have
been situations you know where

Recently filming with the
sinaloa cartel on another drug

Story where the sicarios, a
g*nman we were with had been

Snorting cocaine all day.

I've been working on stories
about the sinaloa cartel for

Many years now and I have a
lot of sources in the group

And when we decided we
wanted to do a story,

We spent the whole
day with them,

Which is usually
not a good idea.

You want to make sure you're
in and out of there safely but

The out being key.

I mean, you wanna make sure
you're out of there fast.

You do your job,
you get the story,

And then you're out because
you don't wanna spend too much

Time in areas like this.

In that case because of
different situations,

We just ended
up spending a whole day

Surrounded by sicarios.

A group of them were doing
cocaine all day so they were

Getting high and
they were carrying around

These ak-47's with them.

And at one point towards
the end of the night,

You start seeing they're
handling the g*ns and there is

Not a lot of security in the
handling of these g*ns or

Security training at all and one
of them misfires and it fired,

I mean, the shot went
within inches of my leg.

Um, and of the head of our camera,
of our director of photography

Who was going in an
underground location who was

Also just inches away from
where this b*llet ended up.

It was terrifying.

(g*nshots)

Obviously thinking about my
safety but thinking about also

What would, what would happen
if anything, if any of,

You know, we're like family.

When we're on the ground,

We travel all around
the world together,

Me and my crew.

When I find myself
in these situations,

I think back about the moment
when I decided to be a journalist

And how I would've never in a
million years dreamt that this

Would be the kind of stories
that I would be telling.

You know, I grew up in portugal.

We used to sit down every
night with my family and watch

The nightly news,
and I remember,

Watching these
anchors on television,

Basically just talk
about the whole world.

And it was all these stories
full of details and I couldn't

Figure out how they knew so
much about the world but the

One thing I knew is that
I wanted to be like them.

So I started applying, I
graduated from school in

Portugal and I started to apply,

I start applying
to columbia university's

Journalism school.

And I applied the first
year and I didn't get in.

The second year I was
put on a wait list,

I was super hopeful,
I thought this was it,

And again I didn't get in.

And the third year I
decided I was going to fly

To new york and go to
the university, and I did.

And I knocked on the dean's
door, and I introduced myself,

And I said my dream is to come
to this school and he sat me down,

We had a long
conversation and that year

I was accepted.

I arrived in new york
in August of 2001,

And a month later,
9/11 happened,

And I was the only portuguese
journalist in manhattan at the

Time um and so I started
getting calls very early in

The morning, as soon as
the towers collapsed,

I started getting calls from
the portuguese television

Station I had worked
for asking me if I was,

Willing to go to midtown to
report on what was happening.

I remember being on
the call with my,

The television station on one
hand and on the other hand my

Mom calling my cell phone and
crying hysterically and telling me,

"please don't go."

(sirens)

(sirens)

Mariana: Nobody knew what
was happening in new york

At the time that day.

That was one of the moments
where I had to make a decision,

And I decided, you know,

This is what I signed
up for, this is my job.

I was so nervous,
literally shaking,

Thinking they're going to
start asking questions,

I'm going to go live
on national television,

I'm 24 years old,

I have never done a
live report in my life.

And, and I sort of
was able to talk,

Still don't know how that,

But I was able to do my
report and then it all ended,

I started going down
and I was sort of

In a state of euphoria at
the moment, at that time.

And then I walked down the
building and I started seeing

People with the first signs,
looking for their loved ones,

With posters and photos,

And I still get super emotional.

It's been so many years,
but I still get emotional

Talking about this.

It's that moment when you
walk out and you, you know,

You realize that this story
is really not about you or how

You're feeling or
all of that has to be

Completely put aside.

And, that there are real
life consequences here and

This is a story that's so
much bigger than anything else.

And that was the moment that I,

That I realized that the kind
of journalism that I wanted to

Do was to be able to dive
deeper into these subjects and

Contextualize how is
it possible, all that day,

All I could think about,
how is it possible for an event

Like this to happen and
how is it possible for people

To do this amount of evil?

It's not always a
popular thing to say,

Because when you use the
word "connect" in this case,

Especially after 9/11,
we're talking about connecting

With t*rrorists and
you know, our enemies,

People who had just
done horrific things,

But in that moment I knew that
ignoring it and pretending that,

It wasn't there was
not an option for me.

Any story that uh is under
reported is always a story

That I want
to tell and sometimes

They're tough stories.

Man: I cut the bottom of
her foot with a razor.

Mariana: With a razor?

But then the best stories
are the ones that are,

Where your whole plan
collapses and you realize that

The story is completely
different than what you

Thought and in many ways is,

Is and many times it's just so
much richer and more interesting.

For example, we spent many
months trying to get access to

Get any scammers in jamaica,

We kept on getting "no's".

But the first one, like
it happens a lot of times,

We were given a location and
a time to get there but not a

Lot of details and we're
driving into this gated house,

Abandoned house.

Apparently that's, it's sort
of a big operating ground for

The scammers in jamaica.

It's like a bunch of guys
with masks waiting for us.

I can't tell if
they're armed or not,

But we should probably go.

They had told us actually that
there was a couple of rules

That we had to live by.

One was we weren't allowed
to identify the location...

Hi.

We weren't able to
identify the people,

The scammers we were talking to.

Okay. All good?

This is the microphone.

And also they wanted me to be
the first one out of the car

And be the first one
to meet the security guards

That were waiting for us.

So, we keep going this way?

Man: Yes.

Mariana: Then they let us in
to go and meet this big lord

Of scamming in jamaica.

Hi.

Mariana: I'm mariana.

What would you like
me to call you?

Mariana: Viktor? Viktor: Yeah.

Mariana: Okay, can I
ask you what the g is for?

Mariana: So you're
proud of that?

Mariana: Can I put a
mic on you, viktor?

Mariana: You wouldn't like
it if it was a man doing this?

Mariana: Okay, thank you.

Mariana: I'm ready, viktor.

Mariana: So these guys,
we are surrounded by

One, two, three, at
least three that I can see.

Three guys.

Mariana: What g*ns
are used to protect?

Mariana: So what
do you do, viktor?

Mariana: How long have you
been in the money game for?

Mariana: Do you remember
the first time you did it?

Mariana: There's a balance
between on the one hand

Definitely humanizing people
that you're talking to even

The perpetrators, you know,

Considered the bad guys
in many situations,

But also making sure
that you're not making them

Look like heroes.

Mariana: 200 people
working for you...

Mariana: No way.

Mariana: Because a lot of the
way that they talk sometimes,

The bravado, the big egos,
it's very easy to portray them

In the way that they
want to be portrayed.

Mariana: Have you ever had to
hurt anyone because of scamming?

Viktor: So far.

Mariana: Wait, you were thinking of
taking our cameras and robbing us?

Mariana: You were thinking of
taking our cameras and robbing us?

Mariana: I've been in many
strange situations in my life,

That was not one that
I saw coming at all.

Um, and yeah, at the moment
I wasn't sure if he was being

Honest with me because he
was in fact about to rob me

And wanted to give
me some fair warning,

Or if he was being honest
with me and telling me that

Because he wanted
to look good in my eyes,

That he actually
wasn't being honest,

That he wasn't really
planning on robbing me but he

Wanted to pretend like he
was so that there was some

Connection there or something,
it was very strange.

So that's why I said I don't
know how to feel right now.

Okay.

Viktor: Yeah...

Mariana: I don't know
how to feel about this.

Mariana: Thank you, viktor.

I continued asking questions
because that's what I'm there

For and everything turned out
ok and in the end he was very

Happy and left very happy with
being able to talk to us...

The more I sort of report on these
stories and on these trafficking networks,

The more I realize that they,

It's just all around us.

If there's more poverty in
jamaica more people will turn

To scamming and more people
in america especially elderly

People are going to
start being scammed.

Man: What are you gonna
do with $19.42 million?

Mariana: If truly what we're
trying to do is make the world

A better place and eradicate
some of these evils that

Happen around us, then the
best way to do so is to know

Exactly what's happening.

For example, in the situation
with victor where I was

Surrounded with guys with g*ns
and in many other situations

Where I found myself more
often than not those g*ns

Come from america.

So one of the first
stories we did,

We were trying to figure out

How soon we could
get our hands on g*ns.

It was actually in
the state of arizona,

And we'd gotten in
touch with jesse torrez,

Who's a friend of ours and also
former phoenix police department officer.

And he goes online, and
within 5 minutes, no joke,

He finds a guy who's
selling an ak-47.

Within 10 minutes I'm on the
phone with this guy and within

15 minutes I'm on the
taco bell parking lot

Jesse: Gold dodge neon.
Mariana: Gold dodge neon.

Jesse: There's a gold dodge.

Mariana: No, it's an older man.

Shall I call?

Jesse: Yeah.
Mariana: Hey, we're here.

I didn't see the, the
dodge, but, I'm, okay bye.

Pulling in in two minutes.

Darren: This was a bad idea.

Jesse: If I don't feel good
about this I'll take off, okay?

Mariana: Okay, definitely.

Jesse: All right. And are you
going to use your, your name?

Hi, I'm mariana?

Mariana: No.

Jesse: Okay, what
are you going to say?

Mariana: Sofia.

Jesse: That's fine. Sofia.

So but you know,

I'll be watching for
somebody to rip us off.

And, and, uh, we'll see.

Mariana: This guy?

Jesse: Yep.

Mariana: I actually
have to admit,

I don't love doing undercover
work because I find that it's

Sometimes not fair for the
people that we're filming.

I'm gonna try to get to
the right side of the car

So that they can see us.

Jesse: How are you doing, man?

Mariana: However, there are
situations where that world is

Just so secretive and so dark we would've
never been able to show any of that,

If we weren't
filming undercover.

Jesse: Thank you.

This is good to go for me. $750?

Jesse: All right.

Mariana: And are those
for sale as well?

Nick: Yeah.

Jesse: Oh, so it's
a full size one?

Jesse: Why don't you feel and
see how this one feels to you.

'cause it's a little
shorter, a little lighter,

A little bit more maneuverable.

Also it's got a laser mounted
on it too, and a flashlight.

Oh that's great.

Jesse: You know, if you don't
mind I'm going to think about

This one a little bit.

All right thanks guys,
I really appreciate it.

Nick: No problem.
Jesse: Talk to you later.

Mariana: We could have
left with three r*fles today

If we wanted.

Jesse: As I told
you we could have,

We'd have had three r*fles
in less than an hour,

All of which are the
military style weapon.

Mariana: So this is
what we just bought.

Here's our ak-47.

According to jesse
ready to sh**t, right?

Jesse: You're all ready to go.

Mariana: It came with a
few rounds of ammunition.

Jesse: This is a
typical russian round.

It'll penetrate all
body armor except for level

Three body armor and above.

Mariana: And all in
the time that it takes to

Order a pizza.

If you lived closer we could
have done this in five, ten minutes.

Jesse: Right.

We could have ended up with
three r*fles, uh, today,

Which is a multi-g*n sale.

They were all brand new,
and he wouldn't have had

A trace of who I was.

Mariana: What was crazy about
that day was that $700 later,

30 minutes after we
initially started our search,

We had this g*n,
we put it in our car,

We go to a bar,

To sort of
celebrate our purchase,

We just had a very long day of
filming and I order a beer and

They ask for my I.D.,
I didn't have it,

So they didn't give me a beer
that day and meanwhile I had

Just bought an as*ault weapon.

g*ns is such a difficult
subject to talk about for me

Just because of how
polarizing it is.

And I think that's incredibly
important and in the kind of

Reporting that I try to do.

Really a big goal for me is
to show that perpetrator can

Be a victim too.

I think that we
tend to forget that.

It's easier for us
to look at the world as

Black and white...

(g*nsh*t)

Oh my god.

But I think that's
not the reality.

We live in a very grey world
where you know these people

That are doing horrific
things whether you like it or

Not are a lot more like
us than you'd like to admit.

Eople ask me, why
people agree to talk to us and

I think sometimes
it's about ego,

It's wanting to show how
powerful they are but it's

Also a lot of times just
trying to show us that they're

Not bad people.

There was one situation we
were interviewing a sicario,

A g*nman, in colombia...

Mariana: Oh, journalism
matters tremendously.

Where you're on the ground,
you're listening to people,

You're witnessing things
happening things with your own

Two eyes um, and that's
incredibly important.

I think that the way that I
manage to do the work that

I do is to try very hard
not to think too far off,

I really have to
take it day by day.

And I really truly at heart,
even though I've seen some

Horrific things and have met
some pretty evil people in my life,

I'm also truly an optimist and
my tendency is always to go,

To try to find the
best in people and also

The best um that the
world has to offer.

And one of the most incredible
things about the work that

I've done and where I feel
the most privileged is the

Fact that I've been able
to share the majority of it

With my husband, darren,
who is also a journalist.

We traveled all around
the world together,

Telling these stories on
these huge adventures,

Sharing this life together,
and it's been incredible.

And then, and then we
had the biggest adventure

Of them all which
is having a child,

And that was a beautiful thing.

Interviewer:
You're a mother now.

Has that changed your work
and the way you see things?

Mariana: I'm much more
emotional than I was before,

Since I've become a mom,
definitely much more emotional,

So it's become
harder in that sense.

But also, in a way
it's really giving me,

It's given me more of
a, a strength for the

Mission of journalism.

I'm trying to make a
little difference in the world

You know as small
as that difference is.

I think what gives me most
hope is really the people that

I've met around the world.

I can give you a very clear example
of a woman we met in mexico,

While reporting on g*n violence.

We were doing a story about
how american g*ns are fueling

The violence in mexico and

We spent an afternoon with this
group of women who call themselves the

Guerreras sabueso,
warrior hounds,

Who every day go out looking
for body parts basically,

The remains, they're working
for their loved ones,

These are women who
have lost loved ones.

A lot of times its mothers
who have lost their children.

♪

Mariana: So they smell
the tip of this stick here...

Mariana: These mothers
go out and they dig these

Holes in where they believe
there are masked graves and

They're looking for
loved ones and it's one of

The saddest afternoons of
my life, filming with them.

It's really hard to sit there
and not think about whether,

You know, what if
this was my child.

It's just, you know,
that's what you do as a

Mother all the time.

Mariana: They just
found this tape.

They say it's very
common to find, you know,

Bodies that have been wrapped
around, or they put tape, ooh.

Such strong smell.

They'll put tape
around the face.

Mariana: Yosimar,
maria isabelle's son,

Was part of law enforcement,

He'd been working
as a police officer.

And the cartel was
after him and then one day

You know, he disappeared.

She said she was depressed for
a couple of months and then

She decided she had to go and
start doing something about it.

Mariana: Mothers are always
the last ones to let down the fight.

They're always the ones who
keep fighting until the end.

I could've left the
situation sad and depressed

And I didn't.

I left that situation really
inspired and re-energized with

The knowledge that there
are women out there like her.

The one thing that I think
I've learned from my career

As a journalist on a
personal level is that it's

Important to take risks.

I think the biggest risk in
life is not to take any risks.

And so, I remember this quote
from a brazilian author called

Fernando teixeira de andrade,

That I always,
always carry with me.

I have it right here,
which is, he said,

"there is a time when it's
necessary to abandon used

Clothes which already have
the shape of our body and

Forget our paths which always
lead us to the same places.

It is the time of great journey
and if we do not dare do it,

"We shall have remained forever
at the margins of ourselves."

And that terrifies me,

The idea of being at the margin
of myself and so this is how,

You know, I've chosen
to lead my life.