01x08 - Wander

[bunniefuu]

The wolf fiercely chases away intruders.

Huh?

Asa!

Did you go into... my...

Never mind. That couldn't be.

Sorry, forget it.

I swear it was right here...

You know, my sister kept a journal too.

A journal?

It felt wrong, but I took a peek
inside to see if I should keep it.

Turns out it was for Asa.

She wrote she was planning to give
it to Asa when she turns twenty.

In the end, my sister could've
chosen not to give it to Asa

had she lived another five years.

Asa is longing for her mother now.

In a sense, her mom's still
alive in that journal.

Asa might want to read it now.

Maybe it should be up
to her when she reads it.

Then it's a question of timing.
That's tough.

Seriously?

You're the one who got yourself k*lled.

And now this journal?

Mom and Makio-chan both hid it from me.

Screw you.

Screw you.

Screw you.

Screw you!

Asa...

Your name was chosen
with a great deal of care.

It embodies the beauty of all new things
that come with each day.

I wish with all my heart that you'll
be loved by everyone around you.

And I'll do everything I can
to make that come true.

Right now, I have no idea who you'll
become or what decisions you'll make.

And I may not yet know
for many years to come.

But as long as you can love yourself,

I believe that's enough.

It was like gazing into a giant, dark pit.

Lying at the bottom was a monstrous fear.

The thought that perhaps...

my mom never really loved me.

Asa, as your mother, I...

You don't know that!

It could be a lie.

Who knows?

She could've written anything...

How would I know?

How would I know?!

I'm home.

Do you like it?

Wow!

Happy birthday, Asa.

Thanks!

I hope you'll use it.

Yeah!

You heading out?

Asa, you didn't say you were leaving.

Have a good day.

I'm off.

What was that?

Oh yeah! I was gonna tell you—

Nara-san.

Can you spare a minute?

Coming.

She's absent, but I can't
get a hold of her.

Wait, you mean it's not a cold?

What?!

Hi, Makio-san.

Asa's been absent since yesterday.

She told me she had a cold,
but no one called the school about it.

Her teacher is wondering
if something's wrong.

Can she talk to you on the phone?

Asa...

Hello? Emiri-san?

Thank you for contacting me.

I'm her homeroom teacher, Ogaki.

Oh, I'm Asa's aunt, Koudai.

I'm sorry I missed your calls.

No worries. Is Asa-san okay?

Well, that's the thing...

She left like she always does
both yesterday and today,

so I assumed she was in school.

I see. That makes sense.

Did she come home like always too?

Yes, she did yesterday.

In the evening, at the same time as usual.

What should I do...?

It's all right.

We'll figure it out.

Um... Both Asa and I are chicken,

so we've never skipped school
or anything like that.

So I think there must be a reason.

I doubt she's doing anything reckless.

Though I'm kinda bummed
she lied to me too...

You're right. Thank you.

Hey, Emiri-san?

Yeah?

Can you tell me some places Asa might go?

I'll go find her.

Koudai-san, if she's coming home
as usual, you can talk to her then.

No, I'm worried about her.

I can't just sit around and wait.

Oh, class must be starting.

I'm sorry. Can you message me later?

Sensei, I apologize for the trouble.

Not at all.

We have our meeting soon,
so let's talk then.

Yes, of course. Please excuse me.

I hope Makio-san will be okay...

Nara-san, you and Takumi-san
are childhood friends, right?

Oh, yeah.

Would you happen to know what
her late parents were like?

Well, uh...

Her mom was super organized.

And her dad barely ever spoke.

But I'm not too sure.

Lately, I've realized that I don't
know what people are truly like.

That's very mature of you.

R-Really?

Sorry to ask you over for this.

Well, it's a big deal.

Besides, it was easier
than you thought, wasn't it?

Asking for help.

All you need to do
is reach out and say so.

It was really hard, actually.

Koudai-san!

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Tono-sensei! Thank you for coming.

Do you have anywhere in mind?

I asked her friend for ideas, so I was
thinking of checking those places first.

I apologize for making
such a fuss about this.

Well... I'd argue it's better
to make a big deal out of it.

Asa-san is facing the reality that
she's lost her biggest supporters.

It's not rare for children to test
the adults around them.

So I think it'll be good to show her that
this many adults are concerned for her.

Even if we're not her parents.

Yes, you're right...

I'm gonna scold her good.

You can be scary when you're mad.

Go easy on her.

Everyone's got their own thing besides me.

How's that fair?

Emiri grew five
centimeters just this year.

Chiyo-chan's pretty and smart.

And Asuka-chan's family is super rich.

I'm the only one with nothing.

It's not fair.

Screw them.

It's not fair.

Screw them.

It's not fair.

It's all Mom's fault.

All of this...

It's 'cause you went and died.

Maybe she's preparing to accept it.

Asa, I mean. That her parents are gone.

Yeah, maybe.

She sleeps a lot.

Maybe it's her way of tending her wounds.

To process what happened internally.

Maybe she still doesn't know
how to get through it yet.

I'm cold by nature.

I didn't grieve at all
when my father died.

To this day, I feel no grief.

But it's not like I hated him.

Perhaps it is a bit sad, but that's all.

So I can't find the right
words to say to Asa.

You? Cold?

Give me a break.

I'd say you're full of passion.

Like how you get a bit grumpy.

That's not—

I think we're close.

Right. Let's park around here.

The bubble tea place down the street?

Yeah. Apparently they've
hung out there before.

Huh.

Um... Would a child skip
school for bubble tea?

I have no clue what they'd
skip school for.

Me neither.

Wait.

Neither of you have
skipped school before?

- No.

- Nope.

I always attended the early study
hours before school, so...

Wow.

Actually, I did it once.

My first year of high school.

My friend invited me out for ramen.

See? You did it too.

It was fun. We got caught, of course.

The teacher barely even scolded us.

But when I got home, my dad
clicked his tongue at me.

D-Dad, I'm sorry...

Jeez...

I turned stark white.

That was the first and last time.

Well, I'd like to raise an
objection with your father!

Huh?

He should have talked to you
instead of clicking his tongue.

That's out of line.

A single interaction can hurt
a child's self-esteem.

Especially after they've
expressed remorse—

Er, I'm sorry. I mean no
disrespect to your family.

Nah. In fact, I'd love to hear
you bash my dad more. Really.

It's not often you get to hear—

There she is.

And she's drinking bubble tea...
while skipping school.

Why, that little...

Makio-san, keep your cool.

Wow, these things are so chewy.

And filling...

I know, right?

I thought the same when
somebody gave me some before.

You could replace an
entire lunch with this.

What?

Huh?

I don't think I can finish this.

It's different when you're young.

Right, Asa-san?

We were really worried.

Liar.

You just want Makio-chan to like you.

You're an important friend to me too.

Of course I was worried.

It makes me sad to hear you say that.

Thanks for waiting. Are you ready to go?

You two can take the backseat.

Thanks.

What gives?

What's up with all of you?

About school...

If you need a day off, you can say so.

What's not okay is lying to everyone.

Y-You're the one who's been lying!

Me?

The journal. You hid it from me.
My mom's journal.

It was tucked away
in the back of your room.

I found it, you know?

Asa-san, you went into Makio's
room without asking?

Even if you're family, that's not—

Kasamachi-kun.

Sorry. I can't believe
I'm acting like my dad.

Asa, I wasn't hiding it from you.

You have every right to read that journal.

Whatever. Your room's so dirty,
I couldn't believe it.

How can you even live like that?

That's beside the point right now.

And trying to hurt me in this moment
won't solve anything.

First things first, we talk it out.

Don't forget that.

See you, Asa-san.

Hash it all out, okay?

Well then, I'll be off as well.

Thank you so much for your help.

You too, Kasamachi-kun.

- I'll reach be in touch soon.

- You sure have it nice, Makio-chan.

- Sure.

You've got all these people
who care about you.

They came out to help because
they were worried about you.

Yeah, but I know I don't come first.

To put someone above all else
is an enormous act.

It's beyond my comprehension.

But when I saw your mother's journal,
that was the impression I got.

You read it?

No, I didn't.
It would have only annoyed me.

I just checked to see
if it should be tossed.

So, no, I wasn't hiding it from you.

I just hadn't decided
when to give it to you.

Here you go.

Reading this won't tell me
what Mom was actually thinking.

You're right. It won't.

Is that what you're hung up on?

I'll pour us some tea first.

You may be looking to me to tell you
what your mother thought...

But I can't do that.

I cannot declare what I'm unsure of.

And the departed cannot
speak for themselves.

You're just making excuses.

Th-That's not my intent...

You know, I'm not right about everything.

So what I'm about to say
is just a guess on my part, but...

Seeing the way you are now,
I think you grew up loved.

Asa.

In which case, I think my
sister lived a good life.

I hope that's the truth.

Happy birthday, Asa.

That's how I feel.

Even though you hated her?

That has nothing to do with this.

Makio-chan, have you ever lost
anyone important to you?

No.

But I have experienced
something very sad.

I don't intend to share it with anyone.

Why not? Isn't that lonely?

No, it's not lonely. Not for me.

My emotions are very important to me.

No one has the right to trample them.

And no one will ever feel
the exact sadness I do.

So I don't care to share it with anyone.

I don't get that at all!

I don't understand...

Either way, at the very least...

To leave something in writing
for someone is tremendous work.

It's not possible without deep conviction.

Whatever! Get real.

You mean your novels too?

Perhaps, yes.

Go on and finish your tea.

I'm going out to get groceries.

Loneliness is a friend to her.

But it shows me no mercy.

I was longing for an absolute truth...

But she didn't dare give it to me.

Sadness was like walking down
a long, never-ending beach.

A beautiful beach that seemed to stretch
for eternity, where the shore, water,

and sky became one in the distance.

With every step,
his feet sank into the sand.

Tiny grains caught between his toes.

His ankles were drenched
with each incoming wave.

Every time the cold
wrath reached his soles,

he was hit with the reminder
that he was no longer here.

My dragon's dead.

He's gone.

What do I do from here?

I'll move on.

No. I can't forgive.

I'll avenge and k*ll...

k*ll who?

I wish I could talk...

To whom?

I just want to stay asleep.

With each wave that came and went,
Luca's heart swayed like a boat.

When will this beach ever end?

How can she...

How can she write like this...
without ever having lost someone?

How can she write like this...
and yet not fully understand me?

How can she realize all of this...

but still refuse to lie and give
me the answer I long for?

How?

Asa.

What's wrong?

Mom and Dad...

They're dead.

They're gone...

Yeah.