03x09 - Fish and Ships

[bunniefuu]

...

-Oh! Are you already
there? You're in luck.

I wanted to recommend to
watch the series in original version.

Otherwise, how will you
know that I speak all languages?

pistachio noises.

-Gilles, aren’t you
coming home? It's late.

-I like to
work in the evening.

-OK.

-Go, go, go!
-Okay, come on...

I'm going
to work elsewhere.

Thank
you for your help.

-Only in the toilet
can I stop filming.

-Women's toilets?

-They voted for my gender, and I am...

Obviously!
I should have known!

I did absolutely
everything they asked of me:

demonstrations, hunger
strikes against Covid vaccination,

and an amendment on
the death penalty for pedophile dogs!

Just that! Not to mention

I'm wearing this stupid costume!

But it's never enough,
they always want more.

I thought I would
reconnect the people with

a European project which would change the situation,

would shake up the
institutions from within...

-Torsten, it's not for nothing

that all the
deputies are so conformist.

They weren't born like that,

it's the fruit of a hard

and long
personal transformation.

The slightest hesitation, the

slightest misstep, and we'll all pounce on you.

Only
perverts and

psychopaths enjoy it.

The others hide

behind their
ties and pastel suits.

All this to protect yourself
from this rabid pack, my darling.

-Gesine?

I have a plan!

We are going to sue the
Commission for abuse of power.

The benefits
will be enormous!

It's going to cause a scandal!
We'll have the press with us!

It will make a Partygate Bounga-bounga, a trial

which will wreak havoc, a crisis that will shake up everything!

-Don't drink

this Berlin stew.

Samy, stop!
-It's just plants!

-Listen! Sometimes we
win. Sometimes we lose.

There, we lost.

-No, we're going to win!
We can't admit defeat!

We must
fight! It's w*r!

-That's what you do
when you lose a w*r.

Do you remember? Germany?
-No!

That's not true!
I continue the fight!

-In this case, go
find yourself another bunker!

"Raus"! Leave me alone !
-"Raus"?

-Come on, wind!

-Okay. Traitor!

-[Hey sh*t!]

I have an angle of attack
to manage the media

fiasco following
the catastrophic interview

with this nasty pest: on claims that it was

calculated, that your dignity
was sacrificed by pure strategy.

We just need to
find out why you

would do that, and we can take back control.

-Thank you, Brussels!

Hello, Brussels!
Halo, Brussels!

-Konrad, are you okay?
-Yes.

I drank rooibos
all night non-stop.

-Capuccino?

-What do you want?

-We put resentment
aside, 2 minutes?

-Hm.
-Valentine sent me.

She only talks about you,
it drives everyone crazy.

It turns into an obsession: "Samy

is more combative, Samy is more strategist...

"Samy, Samy, Samy..."

It's
getting exhausting.

-Either way, you win.
-Stop, you're planning something bad.

One of your 3-band offensives
that will fall on us out of nowhere.

-It's possible.
-There you go.

Valentine invites
you to join us.

A position of strategy
advisor at the Commission

with the total: an office just for you, your own assistant...

There you go.

What do you say?
-I have to think.

-You know Valentine,
she wants an immediate answer.

-She's impatient.
-As you say.

-It will ruin her.

You know, Migouelle...

I am attached to Parliament...
-I understand.

Hasta luego.

-Wait, wait!

I'm thinking now.

Hm...

It's okay.

-Really?
-Yeah.

Gracias.

-Drink water.

Did you believe it?

Como se lo ha creido!

You're
a loser, Samuel.

Why would we want you?

Breathe, eh!
It was a joke!

Chiquitin!

-[as*h*le!]

-Given our listening, we should
have more money from our sponsors.

That's how business works.
And then

promoting plastic, it's
not like renewable

energies or organic or...
-Did you say "organic"?

I have something for you. I

check if my clients... Yes: fossil fuels.

they are fighting for a transition
towards a zero carbon horizon.

-Where's the organic in there?
-Ah yes.

Meat sector.
-It's intensive.

-"Meat for
all." It's a seller!

That's good!
-No.

-I also have the lithium industry,
essential for electric cars.

The mines are in Congo, but...
-Seriously, no!

It's good!

-Ah! The International
Alliance for Peace and Dignity.

It's a great cause and they
want to promote their actions.

-Okay. That looks interesting.
-And they are very nice people.

-Guido...
-Yes?

-Where is the scam?
-What scam?

-Guido!

-They may be quite
close to the Russian Federation.

-How close?
-They're just...

totally controlled by the
Kremlin, but they are very nice!

-Hey!

I have an idea!

-OH!

-Will you let us talk?
-Congratulations on the Blue Deal.

-OK. Congratulations, for your stupidity, there...

-Guys.

-Is it funny?
-Nice repartee! Brief...

I have to go.

Rose, you
deserve better than... this.

Arrivederci.
-Yeah.

Are you okay?

What if I told you
everything about

this Blue Deal sh*t to make an article about it?

Every little detail:
the nighttime

negotiations, how the
Commission made fun of us,

its lack of ethics towards us...
That's what you need, right?

-Yes, yes...
-Great.

-But you really want to do this? You will definitely have to

work with the Commission again... -Nothing to worry about!

I'm a whistleblower,
Rose. I will be a hero!

-I need to speak to the Commission.
-Why?

-To have their version.

-But you have mine, version!
-It's called journalism.

-You don't talk to the Commission!
You don't need their version!

-I'm a journalist!
-Well?

In 42, would you have given

a voice to the Nazis and the Jews?

-This comparison is...
-Yes, it comes to the same thing.

-Do you think so? OK.
Rest, we'll talk about it tomorrow.

-I'm doing very well, and if you want both

versions, I'll tell someone else everything! -OK.

-OK?
-Whose type?

-Well...

Who is it?

-My replacement from the "Daily Post".
-He's going to have a big scoop!

Too bad!
-Samy, avoid talking to him...

[Jews and Nazis.]
-Hi!

You want to hear dirty
about the Commission?

-Is the Pope Catholic?
-Yeah.

Yes.
- This is an expression.

-Ah! I thought
you were well

informed for a journalist, which is strange...

-Do you have
any dirt on the Commission?

-Want one?

-Hm.

-Ah yes, damn...

-Thank you.

You know what it
is, your problem?

You don't like losing.

Me, I'm the same. I have

the same problem: I don't like losing.

And when you don't like losing,
do you know the secret to happiness?

It's not to play.

It's time for me to
take you under my wing.

anthem played on the carillon.

-Hm... Spain?

-No! Croatia !

-Ah! Croatia ?
It's a hassle, too!

-I'll give you my
file with the national anthems.

-No, it's okay.
-Wait! Look at this one...

-That one grooves!
-So?

-Latvia? Estonia? Lithuania?
-No.

-The cicada having sang...
-The cicada having sang...

-The cicada having sang...
-The cicada having sang all summer.

-The cicada having sang all summer.
-The cicada having sang all summer.

-That's it. Afterwards :
"He found himself very deprived..."

-As soon as the wind came.
-When the wind came.

-When the wind came.
-When the wind had returned.

-Coming.
-Coming.

-No "re".
-Coming.

-[Do you do
therapy for burnout?

[It must remain discreet,
he is a public figure.

[No, not an artist.

[What do you
mean by “big boss”?

[He is an MEP.

[His notoriety is not the problem, [but

he would be happy
if you could change his name.]

-Holy cow!

This interview is awesome!

You initiated this, I suppose?

-Yes.

-Thank you.

-I thought our candidate would come out stronger.

-"Our"?

"Our candidate"?

-Michel Specklin.

Now that we know
that Konrad is a sociopath,

we will be able to play the
normal guy card with Specklin.

I infiltrated the Stracke
campaign for you .

I didn't say anything
so you're covered

if my cover was blown.
Plausible deniability, as they say.

-Nice try.

-What?

-It takes some audacity to
say that. There was an idea.

-If you take out
Italy, I pull Germany.

-Hey!

-Belgiumxit.

Done good evening.

-Belgiumexit!
-But what is that?

-It's blue.
-Yes, but the country?

-This is Romania.

-Romania? I doubt.
Is it in Europe?

-Gentlemen, we close in 10 minutes.
-Okay, thanks.

And Frexit...

-Hi, Piggy.

I am an MP.

A MEP.

-You didn't pull any punches!
-It's still crazy!

The title differs from the article,
which differs from what I said.

-And you are their “EU expert”?
-"EU expert"? Well you have to believe...

-Not bad.

-Not bad, yeah.

-Did you tell them
that accounting reform

was a Commission plan
to screw British fishermen?

-I said that if
the reform passed, it would

affect the quotas approved by
the English and the Commission.

-They simplified it a bit.
-A little bit, yes.

-Um...

Samy?
*-The British dispatched

*warships
"to protect our fishermen

*"against the hegemonic
ambitions of the EU".

-Well damn, you started a w*r!

-It's not me, it's this article!

-Many wars started
with minor incidents.

The American Revolution:
a history of tea taxation.

The Pastry w*r
in Mexico in 1828.

The Pig's w*r, 1859.

And the w*r between Bulgaria and
Greece in 1925: a dog crossed the border.

-I see the idea, thanks.

This story is going to die
down. It's just a publicity stunt!

Gilles?

Hi, Rose!
Good? Yes I'm dong well.

Say, these vacations that we
postpone, why not take them there?

We could go to Italy.
Or Barbados or Guatemala...

-Yes,
with pleasure! Hi !

And there is of course no link
between this desire for an escapade

and the w*r that you started
with my country, in occurrence.

-Precisely, you should move away,
since you're the enemy, a little.

-Do you
find this funny?

-No! It's sh*t,
I made a dumpling.

But who can claim to
have started a world w*r?

It's still not nothing!

-You didn't trigger much. It's just a nice

diversion to make us
forget their last big screw-up.

-Ah? Yeah, I
knew. It's just...

-Ah!

Hello, Samy!
-Hi.

-Rose, what a pleasure to see you!
-What's new?

-I'm overwhelmed!
Problems to solve...

For
France, for Germany.

For Europe!
-OK.

Okay...

It turned into...
-A real MEP.

-Wow! That smile !

-That handshake!
-Is he sick?

-A brain tumor?
-Yeah.

We lost him.
-Yes, he's already far away.

*-Warships...

-Madam, I received a call: you are invited

to go to the 13th floor. -At the president's?

In what tone was it said?
Like we're going to have a coffee or...

-It was
said in a neutral tone.

-Neutral? -Perhaps a touch of irritation,

but difficult to judge, with the Germans.

-And it's linked to...

-To the frigates which cruise on the
Channel for a law of which you are at the origin?

-Hm hm...
-It's possible.

-Do we know who brought
out this absurd story?

What?

No?

-Thank you.

-Me too,
I started wars.

-Oh good?

-Yes. Full.

-It's funny,
you never told me about it.

-You can imagine that they
don't want it to be known.

Because I managed to get
through almost every time...

Fortunately, in fact.

Afterwards, they
asked me to calm down.

These
are not small conflicts.

We're talking about real wars, with

several countries
and areas of tension,

secret meetings,
weapons

deliveries, clothes to
hide in the forest, stuff...

I can't tell you everything.
Heavy stuff, stuff...

We're not talking about
genocides or whatever, but...

No, I have...

I left a part of
myself there too, obviously.

Sometimes there are memories,
you can do something with it.

And then, sometimes,
it leaves a gap, something...