05x02 - Summer Vacation

[bunniefuu]

-[Stephen] Bye.
-[Ole Johan] Yeah, goodbye.

-[car starts]
-[Pørni] Bye!

[Hanna] They could have stayed
for the crisp challenge.

[Pørni] That's just how it is.

Things you look forward to
don't always turn out that way. Do they?

Shall we play some table tennis, Sigrid?

I told Granddad I'd keep fit.

I'm running with Herta-Louise
from number eight.

Herta or Märtha?

Herta. When do Leo
and the others get here?

Couple of hours. Can you be back by then?

I'm going to buy an ice cream.
We need anything?

If they have any mayor's pole pastries,
can you get a few?

By the way, they taste so much better
straight out of the oven.

I ate one cold for breakfast,
and it was just mediocre.

I know. It's always better when it's hot.

[Yngvar] Did Ole Johan
and Stephen leave already?

-[Pørni] Mm.
-I thought they'd stay for a few days.

Yeah, me too. I had hoped for support
with the Dutch girlfriend,

but Dad is all stressed out
because of the wedding,

so he had to have a meeting
with the wedding planner.

Clean bedsheets for Charlie's cabin.

-Great.
-Let me know if you need anything.

I'm cleaning number 11.
There's a new family arriving.

I must say, Yngvar,
you and this new role fit perfectly well.

PERNILLE

[theme music playing]

♪ Don't you tell me what to do ♪

-♪ Don't say I should be true to you ♪
-[song fades]

Hi.

-Hi.
-[woman] Uh, are we... a little early?

I thought the cabin would be ready for 12.

Oh no. I... I don't work here.
But are you staying in 11?

-Yeah.
-It's that one.

-I'm renting both of these here.
-Oh.

It's a little over the top,
but we get a lot of visitors, so...

If we get too rowdy, just let me know.

Is there are lot of partying here?

Because the kids don't sleep well,
so I hope it's not a party place.

No, it isn't. Don't worry.

And there is a rule
that it's quiet from 11 o'clock.

-So there's no partying. It's fine.
-Right.

Well... I have to say,
it's lovely in Hvasser.

Yeah. And the new owner's a good friend.
He's called Yngvar.

So, if you have any questions
about the cabin,

then you can just ask him.

-[woman 2] Where are we staying?
-Uh, there. I think we can just go in.

-Hi.
-[woman 2] Are you coming, Jorid?

Because Alfred needs a new nappy,
and you're the one who has them.

Uh, yeah, so I'm Jorid,
and that is Beathe.

[Pørni] Mm.

You don't need to learn their names,
because they're both so small.

Pernille.

-Right.
-But you can call me Pørni, if you want.

-Have a nice time.
-Yeah, thanks.

[gentle music playing]

[seabirds calling]

[indistinct chatter]

Can we eat soon?
I'm wasting away over here.

We'll eat when they've got here.

I'm popping into town
to buy some painkillers

and nice cheese at the local shop.

I'll be back soon.

-Hi!
-Hi.

So nice to meet you, I'm Sigrid's mum.

-Hi there. Herta-Louise.
-Hi.

Her mum loves the Norwegian royal family,
her dad supports Hertha Berlin.

-Don't make a big deal of it.
-[Pørni] No, no.

Are you going to shower
and change before they get here?

What is it,
a state visit from Leo's family?

No, I just thought
we haven't seen them in a while. Sorry.

[calming music playing]

Oi, Basil Fawlty!
Do you have a spare laundry token?

I'll just put them in
with all this lot of bedsheets.

Oh, is your nephew coming today?

They're on their way
with Charlie's Dutch lady.

[sighs] Do you find it so hard to take
that he has a new girlfriend?

No, I'm only joking.

Yeah, but you should remember
that it's a miracle for him to find love

after he lost his wife in such a bad way.

It's not love, I'd say.
They only started dating recently.

It's a little bit ironic
that her name's nearly Anne.

Yeah. But don't take it out on her
because you're finding it difficult.

It's not her fault
that she was named Anna.

I'm always nice. You know that.

[horn honks]

Oh, here they are.

Hi!

-Where can we park?
-You can park in number 18.

-Okay.
-Hey. Hi. Hi! Oh, it's so nice to see you!

-It looks exactly as I remember.
-Yep.

Just a bit smaller.

That's 'cause you were little.
Now you're tall.

-[both chuckle]
-Is it weird that it's not just us here?

-What do you mean?
-Is it strange that she's here?

Oh, uh, no, no. You're going to get on.

And my dad's become a whole new man.

-Oh?
-He bought me a guitar before we came.

-Just out of the blue, like that. Yeah.
-Oh, no way.

-Hi!
-Hi!

-Hi!
-Hello.

[both] Hi.

Sorry, I went straight in for a hug.

I feel like I know you already.

Here. They are fake, but I wanted
to give you something nice from Holland.

-Oh, wow!
-Here you are.

-Well, thanks.
-It's nice we finally get to meet.

-Yeah. Yeah.
-Want to come and say hi to my cousins?

-Yeah, sounds great.
-Yeah.

-I'll help you in with those.
-[both] Hi!

Hi! [exclaims]

-She's so sweet.
-Yeah, isn't she?

It was lucky
that she could get time off work.

She was excited to meet you.

It's beautiful in Hvasser.

-It's been a long time.
-Yeah, I know.

[grunts]

-Ah...
-So, was it a good first meeting?

-Oh, yeah. I was warm.
-[Yngvar chuckles]

I was warmer
than a mayor's pole in the oven.

[chuckles]

-[laughs]
-Mijn Goet.

So good, isn't it?
Did you make it yourself?

Nah, it's from the bakery.

-Yeah!
-[Hanna] It's from Nøtterø Bakery.

We've all been calling it
"the Mayor's hot pole."

[all chuckle]

[Leo] Is that its name?

No, it's actually just called
"the mayor's pole."

-When you put it in the oven, it gets hot.
-[Charlie] I can think of worse things.

[Pørni] No!

Well, it's certainly much better
than an ice-cold pole.

-[Anna] What's the joke?
-Or poles in general.

-What's the joke? What is it?
-Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry.

They just meant
it's better after it's been in the oven.

-Anyway, how was Croatia, then?
-[group laughs]

Oh, it was fantastic.

Yeah, have you been there?
It's like being in Italy.

-It looks the same.
-Oh, yeah?

And it was such a luxury to go,
just us two and be child-free.

-Yeah, it was lovely.
-Without mine, that is.

-I've got two of them. They're 12 and 15.
-Oh.

-You're 15, Sigrid, yeah?
-[Sigrid] I'm 16.

-Oh.
-[Jorid] Uh...

Yeah, I don't mean be a killjoy,
but we just got our kids off to sleep now,

and... could you try
and keep the laughter down a little?

Okay. Course. Sorry for that.

Yes. Okay. That helps. Thanks.

[group chuckles]

It's like Last One Laughing.

[all stifling laughter]

Shh!

Does that ice-cream stand still exist?

Yeah.

Let's go down there.

I want a Mr Whippy cone
with some extra chocolate sprinkles.

Don't be down there too long.
We have to go for a swim later.

-[Hanna] Yeah, yeah. Don't stress.
-[laughs]

It's so nice to have somewhere
where all of the cousins grew up together.

It makes me think
of Bunschoten-Spakenburg.

Oh, yeah?
I don't know it, but it's so lovely here.

It takes us back, doesn't it? Us two?

Oh, do you remember that one time
when Anne smuggled you into number 13,

and Dad thought
that it was a home invasion?

Really? I can imagine
that Baldwin didn't like that.

You do know that it's only Stephen
who calls him Baldwin, don't you?

[Anna] Oh. [chuckles]

Oh, so they aren't planning
a small affair, from what I gather?

Exactly. My dad is gonna be slimmed down,
but not the wedding, he says.

Have you had many visitors?

Yeah, we've had a few.

Astrid and Kjetil came by
with their sailboat for a visit.

They're couple friends. Nice.
You'll meet them at the wedding.

And we're gonna spend time
with Bjørnar Berg Hansen.

Bjørnar, yeah? Is it...
He's an ex of Pørni's.

-Oh, yeah?
-[Pørni] No.

We're nothing more than good friends.
But... Wow, look at this.

It's all so... when Hanna
and Leo were small,

remember we had to get up at 5:00 a.m.
and push them around the whole island

just so they wouldn't wake up
the entire holiday park?

Now they all sleep in until 12:00.
Anne would never have allowed that.

I'll wash up now
so you won't be left with everything.

Thanks. Thank you.

I'm looking forward to
the famous crisp challenge,

and I am
on the Maarud salt and pepper team.

You're outnumbered.

Cheese and onion
is the winner here. [laughs]

Try being nice to her. It's not so easy
to come into a new family and... Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

-Also, she's just super cute.
-Isn't she?

And she was a little nervous.

She knows just how important
being here is since Anne, and...

Well... and we don't need to go quite

full memory lane
about how things were before.

-Oh.
-Okay?

No, of course.

[gentle music playing]

[seabirds calling in distance]

[Yngvar] Now it's time
to head to the beach.

Yeah. So you're getting
some leisure time too?

Yeah, well, running a holiday park
isn't a piece of cake.

Looks like they're all enjoying it.

You know, this is... this is the dream.

I always wanted to be a harbour pilot.

Now it's a little late for that,

so I'm trying to be a pilot
in life for my guests instead.

All right, then.

Let's hit the beach, then.

-Yeah, we're just gonna crush them first.
-Yeah.

[light music playing]

[Hanna] Uh, can I go
to Edinburgh next week to visit Peter?

He'll be working there.

You don't need to ask me.
You're an adult, aren't you?

Yeah, uh, but can you pay for my flight
there is what I'm asking, Mum.

You know that I note down what you pay
for Hanna since she turned 18.

-So that it'll be all square.
-Do you?

-[chuckles]
-Yeah.

And she's now at, uh, 740,000 kroner.

So, I'm due that. Plus inflation.
'Cause it's a few years till I'm 18.

-Leo, can we talk to you?
-Yeah.

Uh, Yngvar said he's thinking about having
concerts here starting next summer,

once they've renovated.

Maybe Leo can have a gig here.

-[Leo] Whoa. That came out of nowhere.
-Yeah. It did! That's great.

[Leo] Great.

-He's proposing, is he?
-[Hanna] Huh?

-Nothing.
-[Leo] Yes, a nice one.

-sh*t, we have to tell them.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, can I tell them?

-Yeah.
-Yeah, go for it.

I'm gonna be a big brother.

-No!
-[Leo laughs]

-Honestly?
-Really?

-Congratulations.
-Oh, my gosh.

You're gonna be
the world's best big brother!

-You're so lucky!
-Oh, wow! How nice!

-That's so great!
-Thank you.

-Oh, oh! Wow. Congratulations.
-Yeah. Thank you. Thanks.

[laughs] Oh!

[excited chatter]

[Sigrid] Do you know
if it's a boy or a girl?

-Not yet.
-Oh, I hope it's a girl!

[Anne] ...I won't listen to it anyway.
I'll call you back as soon as I can. Bye!

-[line beeps]
-Hi.

I'm in Hvasser.

I haven't come here since...

Do you remember that summer when you...
were so depressed because you'd given up

on having another kid, and so fed up
with that fertility stuff,

and it was all just a bit sh*t,
and then it improved

'cause I was...
I became a pilot in your life.

That was a good summer, wasn't it?

[grunts]

-[guitar tune playing]
-[in Norwegian] ♪ I was young ♪

♪ And I knew everything ♪

♪ Laughed at everything I was told ♪

♪ You were... ♪

[groans]

-[in English] I love it.
-[laughs]

You play the guitar so well.

I hope the little one gets
their musicality from their dad.

The same as Leo.
'Cause I'm just so tone-deaf.

[both laugh]

Yeah, Leo also gets it
from Anne, thinking about it.

-[guitar tune resumes]
-[in Norwegian] ♪ My first love ♪

♪ Did more for me ♪

♪ Than you could ever imagine ♪

♪ My greatest love ♪

♪ I gave to you ♪

[in English] Yeah, not to be a killjoy,
but our kids have just fallen asleep,

so, uh, yeah.

Can you just cut the volume
on the music festival a little bit?

-Yeah, definitely.
-Yeah.

-Sorry. I'm sorry.
-No. Thank you. Brilliant. Yeah.

Yes. Well, passive-aggressive mothers
of small children are charming. [chuckles]

But that might have been my cue.

I want to get a good night's sleep
for the crisp challenge tomorrow.

No, so early?

Yeah. That ocean air,
it makes me exhausted.

-Uh, we can help you with the plates!
-No, it's fine. Good night.

[Hanna] Yeah, in September,
as a kind of wedding gift

or reverse wedding gift kind of thing.

And my mum said yes to Edinburgh.

Did I?

Or she will say yes
to tickets to Edinburgh.

I have to go inside another room

because we are staying
in a tiny, tiny, tiny cottage

that my mum loves.

And I have absolutely
no personal space whatsoever.

And I have to share
a bunk bed with Sigrid. Yeah.

And get k*lled by mosquitos.

[Hanna continues indistinctly]

[gentle music playing]

[music fades out]

What time do you call this?

Are you spying on me?

No. I'm just renting a cabin here
with my family,

and I'm noticing that's not Amund
who's on holiday in France.

[grunts] Please!

Let me live! I'm 16!

Okay.

[sighs, groans]

[phone chimes]

FROM DAD
I'VE ONLY LOST 300 GRAMS.

IT'S 4:30 A.M.! WHY, DAD? WHY???

[exhales deeply]

[phone chimes]

THE TAILOR CAN ALTER THE SUIT,
BUT I NEED TO LOSE FIVE KILOS.

-SHOULD I GO ON A DIET?
-I'M ON VACATION!

[inhales deeply]

[exhales forcefully]

Wow. Out running at 4:00 in the morning?

Uh... Yeah. It's... it's a thing.
And I... Yeah, no.

-[sighs] Can I have one?
-Oh, yeah.

Thanks.

So, um...

Um, we are leaving today.

Today? But what about the crisp challenge?

Yeah. Uh, yeah, we'll go after that.
Me and Anna.

Leo will be here till Thursday
so he can spend time with his cousins,

then he'll get the train to join us.

Weren't you all gonna stay till Thursday?

Pørni, it's obvious
that you don't like that Anna's here.

And it's not fair
for her to deal with that.

She doesn't deserve a cold shoulder.

Wh... I haven't given her
the cold shoulder at all.

And she's such a nice girl.
Just that I don't find it very easy.

This place was mine and Anne's.

You're having a kid now.
And you're here with a new woman.

But I was nice. What have I said to her?

But it's not just about what you say.

It's about how you make people feel.
Don't you think?

You might think you have a poker face,
but you don't.

And they've all noticed
that you don't like her. Leo sees it.

Hanna came to apologise to me
at the beach yesterday

for you being so hostile.

And the worst is that Anna sees it.

You can't imagine
just how nervous she was to meet you.

And so it's best... No,
it's best for everyone that we go today.

Oh, my... Charlie...

[sighs]

You know what? You...

You're always quoting Anne, aren't you?

She said don't suck the candy of grief.

But actually, you really should.

I think you should suck more
on those candies when things go to sh*t.

And not try to carry on
before you've finished grieving.

And then... that could change
the way you're feeling now.

It's been three years, Pørni.

Three years.

I mean... Damn it. I... I...

I miss... I miss Anne every... damn day, but...

[sombre music playing]

You should talk to someone.

I mean, I just don't want to be stuck
in something bitter and unfair.

I'd rather... I'd rather...
I want to live, and...

I just don't think
you should resent me for living.

I don't resent you at all for that,
Charlie, but...

but you have such good taste
in women. [sighs]

[both laugh]

But it's almost
like it makes it worse, I think.

It's just that I like the way us two
can talk about Anne.

In the way
that only we can talk about her.

I don't want to do that.

No.

I want to live life.

I don't want to be stuck in anything.

What should we tell the children?

They're not children now, Pørni.

[sweet, gentle music playing]

[insects chittering]

[indistinct chattering]

-Hey.
-Hi.

Do you have to leave today?
Couldn't you wait until Thursday?

No, it's better that way.

I had high blood pressure
with my first two,

so I think I should see a doctor.

I wanted to say I'm sorry
if I've been kind of offhand.

I've been, um... I... I haven't...

Anna, are you coming swimming with us,
or do you want to get interrogated by Mum?

No, I... Yeah, but... Yeah... Um...
Uh, do you want to go for a swim?

It's fine, I won't go in the water,
but you should go.

Uh... Yeah.

-And I can take that for you. Yeah.
-Okay. Thanks.

[sweet, gentle music continues]

-[group laughing]
-[Hanna] I said don't spoil it!

[both exclaim]

Sigrid, are you gonna drink
the rest of this?

No, you can chuck it.

sh*t!

I think I got stung by a wasp.

Oh no. Are you allergic?

I don't know. I've never been stung.
Hanna! How bad is it?

-What's that?
-Getting stung by a wasp on my tongue.

-How should I know that?
-You're a medical student, aren't you?

-Oh, I see, yeah. Who's been stung, then?
-Pørni.

Now? When was it?

Just now.

I mean, if you were allergic,
you would've struggled to breathe by now,

so I wouldn't worry about it.

Okay.

-When's the crisp challenge?
-I don't know.

Mum, when's the crisp challenge?

[slurring] I told Bjørnar
it's at three o'clock.

-Hi.
-Hi. Was the water chilly?

It was. I didn't swim,
but I think it was about 18 degrees.

Uh, are you all right?

It was just... My tongue got stung
by a wasp.

And it has swollen up,
like... I sound like a stroke patient.

Come here. Let's see.

Let me have a look. Sit down here.

Let's see, then.

Yeah, I see it. Beathe?

Hey, can you get some Zyrtec
and call the hospital.

-It's a wasp sting.
-Oh. Mm-hmm.

Don't be scared, okay?

I work for the ambulance service
in Lillestrøm,

and your tongue's a little swollen.

So, Beathe is calling an ambulance,
and I'll give you some antihistamines.

They're allergy tablets.
If you think you're able to swallow.

Right? Just relax. And if you have
trouble breathing,

Beathe has an EpiPen, okay?

-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm?

You'll be fine.

[Beathe] Yeah.
Yeah. Uh, wasp sting on the tongue.

Yeah, they're right nearby,
so they... they'll be here soon.

So, don't worry.

[Beathe] Uh, Motellveien.
The small yellow houses.

-[grunts]
-There.

Done.

How long ago were you stung? Roughly?

Ten minutes. Right.

It's okay. It's all fine.
Just try to relax, yeah?

And breathe. You'll be fine.
They're right around the corner.

Mum? Where's the hairbrush?

It's in the toiletry bag
in the bathroom cabinet.

Huh?

-Mum's drunk.
-[Leo] Huh?

-[groans]
-You're going to be fine. Hmm.

We're going shopping
for the crisp challenge.

Cheese and onion won't win this year.

They're not very worried about you,
your family, are they?

No, they're not.

So, it's all just sh*t.

The kids sleep till noon,
and I don't see them,

and Charlie is pissed off at me,
and today I got a wasp sting on my tongue.

And nobody cared.

Except that some sweet neighbours,
um, helped me,

and an ambulance guy arrived,
and they stuck some antihistamines

right in my thigh,

and now I've run away from...
from the crisp test.

Oh... I have to hang up, actually. Bye now.

[Bjørnar] Oh, don't let me interrupt
your call if it's important.

No, not at all. Don't worry.

You should be at the crisp challenge.

No, not really. Was there a winner?

They're tallying the votes up.

Cheese and onion is doing really well.
It's way ahead.

So, now we're just waiting
for your opinion.

Honestly? Was that the kids' idea?

No, I said I'd try and find you.

And Hanna said that you'd be sitting here,
moping on this rock.

If I heard right,
there was a little wasp drama earlier.

So, not a single member of
my family was worried about me?

But isn't that what you've always wanted?

You don't want your children
to worry about you.

-I know.
-Hmm?

I'd just like it if...
if someone was actually worried

about me once in a while.

I worry about you.

-No.
-I do!

And now Anna and Charlie are going.

They want to go after the test 'cause I...

[sniffles] ...I can't be nice to Anna,
even though I tried.

Well, your face is a bit of an open book.
I agree with that.

But now Anna's announced
that she's pregnant.

And they... they all think that it's great
and so nice.

-[sniffles]
-But you don't?

No. You know, I think that it's sh*t.

How dreadful is that.

I don't like that Charlie has
a new, sweet girlfriend,

and a new baby,
and all of them are living,

but I just sit here feeling upset,

and ringing my sister's phone,
and I've had a sh*t summer.

I hate the holidays.

I just want to go
back to my job right now.

Okay.

Now, I'll give you four and a half minutes

to mope and feel
as much self-pity as you want, okay?

Then you stop,
and we're gonna go back there

to clinch a win for cheese and onion,
once and for all. Okay?

[sobs softly]

[whimpers, sniffles]

I'm covered in mosquito bites as well.

Yeah.

DILL POTATO CHIPS
CHEESE & ONION

THE GREAT CHIP TEST
CHILI MAYO

But even though the Agatha Crispies
gave eight points

to dill crisps imported from Sweden,

it was obsolete
'cause Alvin and the Crispmunks

thought they tasted like
"dead man's breath

mixed with body parts buried in the garden

that Gordon Ramsay
wouldn't even give to his dog." So...

So, that means the winner is, once again,

cheese and onion!

[group cheers]

This is all corrupt.

-Yeah, I know.
-Chili mayo is better.

-[Leo] I agree.
-Should we cheer for the winner?

Yeah.

♪ Cheese and onion, cheese and onion ♪

♪ Cheese and onion, cheese and onion ♪

♪ Cheese and onion, cheese and onion ♪

♪ Cheese and onion, cheese and onion! ♪

Should we go for a swim?
I need to digest all those crisps.

If the twins are going, bring swim vests.

-Yeah.
-Yes, let's go.

I can go with you.

Right. I should make
a start on packing, I think.

Yup.

I want to apologise to you, Anna.

Because I haven't made you feel welcome.

And it's nothing to do with you.

-It's me being very pathetic.
-Yeah, but I can be like that as well.

Uh, it really damages my ego
if I see that someone doesn't like me.

And then I'm all like,
"It's all the same to me."

Mm. But I like you.

That's not why I'm behaving like an idiot.

Please. Just stick around till Thursday?

It's only that you remind me of
all the things that could have been,

and the others are able to move on,
and I'm frozen,

and... and however many podcasts I play...

I feel you. I spent seven years moping
over my husband leaving me.

So, I have
quite an elephant memory as well.

I barge in here,
in the middle of everything you've

had for so long.

And I don't know the context.

The crisp challenge,
and then all of the mayor's pole jokes.

And the little made-up ditties and...

I don't get it. I don't understand it.

I get how irritating that must be.

And the way I talk
is really irritating too. I know.

No, it isn't irritating.

You know, you're really bad at lying.

I'm sorry.

Look... we'll stay till Thursday.

-Do you mean that?
-Mm-hmm.

Thanks, Anna.

Right. We're ready to go.

Ja. We blijven tot donderdag.

Okay?

-[Anna] Mm-hmm.
-[Pørni] Mm-hmm.

-"Donderdag" means Thursday, I think.
-[both laugh]

[peaceful music playing]

Well, well, well, well, well.

Here we are, back at the moping rock.

-I'm not moping now.
-Oh?

I'm sitting here, being strict with myself
and looking at the lighthouse

and being a pilot
in life myself, actually.

Where are the twins?

They're picking raspberries.
With Leo and Hanna.

And also, Charlie and Anna are
at Blå Brygge, drinking rosé wine.

Well, she's drinking apple juice.

So, do you want to join them?

Yeah. I'm coming.
I'll make this one phone call.

-Okay.
-It's a work call, honestly.

Yeah, okay.

Am I right in thinking that you're better
at the idea of holidays than doing it?

Yeah, I'm very good
at the idea of going on them.

Yeah.

[Anne] You've reached Anne.

Please send an SMS
and don't bother leaving a message

because I won't listen to it anyway.

[phone locks]

Wait for me!

-[upbeat music playing]
-Bjørnar?

Bjørnar!

[pleasant music continues]

[music fades out]