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01x19 - Can I Sing You My Song?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Charlie Horse Music Pizza". Aired: January 5, 1998 – January 17, 1999.*
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Show takes place around a pizzeria on the beach.

01x19 - Can I Sing You My Song?

Post by bunniefuu »

The best part of music is making it.

The International Music Products

Association and by Remo.

A world of drumming.

With additional funding by the

Corporation for Public Broadcasting and

by the annual financial support from

viewers like you.

What kind of music would have?

What kind of music would have pizza?

Pizza place. Umm.

Nothing. Umm.

OK.

Umm.

What kind of music would it be?

Shut down.



Charlie Horse Music Pizza Junior.

How's that? Yeah. Yeah, we

do. Birthday parties, 11 people.

OK. How much?

$10.

Birthday cake. OK, well

umm, that's 10 bucks a kid times 11

kids. That's $110 plus tax. And of course

you'll want to tip your server.

Decorations. Do we have

decorations?Entertainment.

Yeah, yeah, there's always entertainment

at the music Pizza. There's gotta

be a clown. Umm, right. OK,

no problem. Yes, Mrs. Hobbs. It'll

all be there Saturday. You have

my promise. All right. Good day,

then. Well, Mr.

Manager, when Shari's not here, that's

quite a promotion, huh? And that

which I knew nothing.

Sherry, I am making you a fortune.

This Saturday we have a huge birthday

party. 11 people, 12 counting the clown

Clown $210.00 you said. And with that

I have to provide 12 people with

a meal and decorations. Right.

Ohh no, just rank one. Least you can get

a clown for now is about 150 a day. 150

bucks. Well that doesn't leave you a lot

of money for pizzas. Are you kidding? I

have to buy all the stuff that goes into

a pizza, all the stuff that goes into a

salad, a big cake. The clown I have to

pay for the.

Do you intend to get paid this week?

OK, look, there's no problem. I'll just

call Mrs. Hogback right now and tell her

that we can't do the party for them. No,

no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do

that. Why not? Because you promised. I

mean, do you intend to be successful in

business? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Well, if

you intend to be successful in business,

there are two rules that you must never

break. Bill number one never

breaks a promise and the next one never

make a promise.

Well, it's about time. So this is

terrible. Flower every day. Sorry, sorry,

says I can't take away the scraps until

the customers finished eating. That's the

Russian policy. I hate being at the

bottom of the. Who came?

Funny around here.

Garbage smells.

Elizabeth Taylor.

Sure looks like a pussycat's tail. Ohh,

that thing. Ohh, of course it looks like

a Pussycat tail. It is a Pussycat. What's

up Pussycat doing in the garbage bin?

Ohh, he was starving so I invited him

in for dinner. You know, everyone likes

to eat out once.

Don't touch him. Don't touch him. He's

he's shy. He's very young. He's just

a little squirt. Little sorry. Say,

what's his name? Ohh, that's his name.

Squid. That's a funny name for a

Pussycat. That's a funny cat. Smells

funny too. Get

in here please.

Ohh.

And when you come back and I would like

to place our beverage order.

Please, Charlie. Absolutely

refuse. That's all.

Say happy birthday at a birthday party.

It's a day.

My least favorite in the whole world.

Well, it's everybody's most favorite

song. Yeah. Big deal. It is a big deal.

Why? Listen, you know those two sisters

that wrote the song? Yeah. They made an

awful lot of money. They made money from.

From. Happy birthday. Sure. You

know, every time that song gets played on

TV or radio. Yeah, those songwriters get

paid. Come on, come on.

You're making it up. I'm gonna. I'm gonna

ask. Where is she?

Alright.

Thank you. What is it, jolly Horse?

Sure, you write a song, you own it. So.

So it's like if you own anything else but

in the well, if you own something and

somebody else wants to use it, they have

to rent it from you. Oh, Oh yeah. It's

like when Heist Puppy wants to borrow my

baseball MIT and I charge him with Divine

when he wants to use it. That's right.

And that's wrong.

And you know. Better than

that baby happy birthday thing, you know?

And if I wrote that song, people would

have to pay me for it. If they like this,

yes, I write it. They'll like it. So what

do I do? OHP.



On a birthday card.

Umm.

Right.

First you gotta figure out.

Just look around your world.

About the things you see.

Come along.

You can turn into a song.

How germ birds? Worms

time. How about the

flowers?

How many songs there are about flowers?

Hey, I got it. How about the

stuff in which the flowers grow?

Start.

Start, you know,

DIRIR dirt. Dirt.

I've never thought of singing a song

about dirt. Hell, it's good stuff, you

know? What do you mean? Well, I I

like to play in it. I like to

plant in it. Wait, wait. You are

absolutely right. What do you need? Well,

if you feel like singing a song about

dirt, sing about dirt, OK?How do

I start? Well, to make up a song, you

need a melody. I don't have line. Ohh.

It's OK. You could. You could start by

using somebody else's. Isn't that

stealing? No, no, no. Not if you use a

song that's in the public domain. What

does that mean? It's a song that was

written long, long, long, long, long ago,

and nobody even knows who wrote it. Or,

or they wrote it so many years ago that

now anybody can use it. You mean like

that's the farmer in the Dell? The farmer

in the Dell?

It's a perfect song. It's it's perfect

for one thing because it has repeats in

it that updates it. No, not a pizza.

Pizza in it. It's got repeats, the same

musical phrase that you sing over and

over again. But the farmer in the Dell,

that's one phrase, right? Yeah. Then you

sing it again. Yeah.

And then there's a different phrase. Hi

h* the Dario. Yeah. And then they go

right back and you sing that first phrase

again. The farmer in the Dell. Do you

understand? Yes. So what do I do? So

you write words that fit those musical

phrases if you want to try.

Yeah, OK. To

play in dirt. That's good. Now you repeat

it. I'll still play in dart. OK, Now you

make up another phrase. Only this time

you have to make up words that go to

the to the other Music. La, la, la, la,

la, la, La La. No,

I I love the big dessert. I love

to play in dirt. Brilliant. Come on. I

can't believe that's really a song. Ohh.

Really? Yeah. Well, compare it to Farmer

in the Dell. But do you mean OK?

The farmer.

The b*mber in the town.

I love.

I love to play in dirt. Charlie,

you have just written your first song.

I can't wait to hear the next

one. You know what? What?

Neither can I.

My laptop.

Jelly.

No no no, not now. I'm

very dizzy. Ohh.

What are you doing? I'm doing a makeover.

I am changing my whole work. Your whole

work. What do you want to look like? I

want to look like a cross between sharing

Madonna with just a hint of the artist

formerly known as What's his name?

Created for the party tonight. Ohh yeah,

the party right, right. Wait till you

hear the song I am going to sing

at the party. I wrote this song based

on the birthday card that I gave you

last year. You see it says happy birthday

lamb chop.

I'm glad that you are fixed. Too bad that

you have chicken pox.

All right, see you then. Sherry. Come on,

come check it out. I have solved our

clown problem. No, no. Yeah, you got a

clown to to work for free.

Exactly for free. Could meet this

old retired dude who said he'd do it for



clown suit. He doesn't have one. No, no,

no, no, no. He has one. It's just he

can't quite remember where he put it.

Well, why don't we just rent one for him?

Yeah, see, renting would be about $50.

You know what I personally will pay?

You will share your. Ohh, Good, good,

good. And now your job is to find a

way to raise the money to pay the old

gentleman to go into the rented campsite.

Ohh, my deal. None of you know me. I'll

think of something. Yeah, that's what I'm

afraid of.

Do you smell something? Take a deep

breath. No, it's not me. It's weird.

What is going on back there?

Ohh, ohh. Take out.

Hi. What are you

doing? I'm being careful.

Making me come here.

What is that?

Milk. Don't worry, it's low fat. What?

I'm worried. Who is it for? A little

squirt bottle. Little squirt fingers. You

friend. A Pussycat. The raccoon has a

Pussycat? Yes. Terrific. Big and black

with a white stripe and a bushy tail.

You should seal. Does the tail have a

white stripe? Right.

No, but I did smell him and I'm

going to introduce myself.

That you take out. Ohh. Just leave the

milk outside. The Pussycat will drink it

later.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh indeed.

That is not a Pussycat, you

know. It's smart, No.

I think you're right.

Skunk in my home. Ohh showed what

you'll do when you're lonely. You know

what I'm saying? I'm out here all

by myself to keep me company. I'll

take in any stranger, no matter how

bad. Get rid of

that skunk. Cookie,

you won't regret this. I promise. Or I

know that. Are you kidding? I used to

being shown in this. Ohh. I'd go on. I

used to work with the biggest stars. Let

me tell you something. This is your big

break, Cookie. Those kids will love you.

Wait till you see me pull out our rabbit

from the hat. The kids are going to go

crazy and do that. Yeah. Show me.

You think I would perform for one

person? OK, How many people do you

need? 33's a crowd. Right? Right. Ladies

and gentlemen, please stand back. This

rabbit is alive.

What are you doing? I am

protecting us from attacks by pirates.

Haven't been any pirates around here for



doing? Hey, wait until you hear what a

good job I'm doing. I am going to sing a

song I wrote for you. You wrote a song

for me? Well, no, not exactly. Well, if

you wrote it for somebody else, go sing

it for them.

Ladies and.

It is my proud and privileged pleasure

to introduce our Magic Clown for tonight.

Give it up for Cookie.

Oh, oh, thank you very much. My

name is Cookie the Clown. And now

you will notice that there is nothing

in the hat. Absolutely nothing in the

hat. Empty. I've never seen anything that

empty.

Alright, Are you ready for

some Magic 123? There it

is. Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, you're wonderful, wonderful. We

have. We have 11 children

coming in 15 minutes.

Now what are we supposed to do?

OK.

That'll be interesting.

Yeah.

Umm.

And here you are, birthday boy. Happy

birthday. We'll watch it. This is still

there. Who turned



a birthday song. I borrowed the tune

from an old song that didn't belong

to anybody anymore. Skip to my loo.

Skipped them allow. You know it, don't

you? Sing it, dude. Skip, skip, skip

to my Lou.

My darling.

Which wasn't really my song yet, you

know, but I changed it and I

made it mine. The first thing I

changed was the words so it sounded

like this. Happy, happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy, happy

birthday to you.

Anyway. Then I

changed some of the notes in the

music part. The last line, you know?

Yeah, now my song sounds like this.

Happy happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy

happy birthday to you. Happy

birthday mom.





But we're gonna have a party.

Easy, easy. All right, OK, now let's

change a few notes in the middle

of the song. Listen for the different

music part.

Happy birthday to you. Happy

birthday to you. Happy happy

birthday to you. Happy birthday

Marty.

That you would like to.

Happy, happy happy birthday. Happy

happy birthday, Marty. We are

gonna have a party. I

am gonna.

Happy birthday, Marty.

Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Umm.

Happy, happy, happy birthday,

Marty.

Really nice.

The guy. OK, OK.

OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. What are you

gonna do? What am I gonna do? What are

you gonna do? I'm not gonna do anything.

You said you were gonna rent. Ohh.

Costume. Oh my God. Ohh. Good. So put it

on. I can't. Why not? It's in your size.

Yeah, my size. My size. And the

sloppy shoes. Yep, you're stressed too.

Well, you know what they say. What

if the shoe fits? Wear it.

I've always wanted to be

a clown. I have always

seen in me a clown,

but no matter how much

I see one, I always

forget.

Nevertheless, there are a few

things I've brought to town.

Some funny clothes I think

a clown would wear.

I'll put them on.

Hey let me know.

These pants, these red and

yellow pants, I bought them

especially for this show.

Yeah, No, no. Well,

if these aren't big

enough, how about these?

Umm.

Umm.

Ohh God.

These pants, these pants, these

red and yellow pants like

no other pair of pants

in town. Baggy pants only.

Look at me. Hey, what

am I?

Ohh yes.

If you lift your foot and flap your

toe, that will make your flower grow.

And then I bought a

polka dotted coat.

The salesman said would grow, but

growing buttons. Here's a stunt. Do

you see buttons down the front?

Yeah.

Now wait a minute. You're supposed to do

something to get buttons. If you wiggle

your bottom and shake your top, that will

make your button pop.

Umm.

Like no other saggy coat in

town, polka dots and floppy tie.

Look at me. Hey, what am

I?

To make you laugh.

Shoes.

As I go.

Aren't these little shoes big enough?

Well, if these little shoes aren't big

enough, how about these?

Because you like no other

pair of shoes in town.

Come on, tell me, what am I?

Real dinosaurs and giant

shoes they had purged

upon by crown.



You can't be mine like

we could still be friends.

You can't be mine, but

we could still be friends.





We will still

be friends.

The Charlie Horse Music Pizza is brought

to you by the following.

A complete education includes music and

Nam believes the best.