01x01 - Forever and a Dog

[bunniefuu]

[WHIRRING]

[ALARM RINGS]

[RINGS]

[BRITISH POP MUSIC PLAYS]

Hey, roomie. How's it going?

[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

Gotta go. Keep up the
good work, little guy.

[TROLLEY BELL RINGS]

- [MOANS]
- Hey.

Oh, my God.

Doughnut?

You know, at week 27,

the best thing you could
be eating is walnuts

full of omega-3 fatty acids?

Let me tell you how this works.
You're a rookie. You listen to me.

I listen to the baby. Got it?

So I'm lower than the baby?

Now you're getting it.

That's good to know. So,
you're early. What's up?

Chief called.

FBI needs help on a witness
protection detail.

He needs us back by 11:00.

- FBI, huh? Great.
- Mm-hmm.

Doesn't leave us much time
to serve this warrant.

- And don't spill that in my car.
- I'll drink it when we get there.

So, the boss says this guy's
a computer hacker?

More than a hacker. He broke into
Social Security, sent himself checks.

Sounds pretty smart.

All right, rookie.

Before you get all excited
about taking down

your first criminal mastermind,

we found the guy because he
had two pounds of Red Vines,

a fake beard and the book,
So You're Moving to Mexico!,

- sent to his grandma's house. [CHUCKLES]
- Ah.

I'll cover the back.

Oh, and if he squirts,
you're doing the running.

On it.

US Marshals.

Ma'am, I'm looking for a
Mr. Lester Chao. He here?

- Oh, Lester.
- Mmm.

[SPEAKS MANDARIN]

[MAN] Hey, Grandma, is
that the burrito guy?

Hi, Lester. [SPEAKS MANDARIN]

[LESTER SCREAMS]

- US Marshals, put your hands...
- [SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

Ah!

Oh, my God!

- [SCREAMING]
- Hey, stay down!

All right.

[LESTER GRUNTS]

Where you going?

[SCOTT GRUNTS, PANTS]

- All you.
- Okay.

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

[GRUNTS]

- [GRUNTS]
- [SIGHS]

- [LESTER GRUNTS]
- Lester Chao, you're under arrest

for violating the Computer
Fraud and Abuse Act.

[GROANS]

Well, get him up.

You gonna let a pregnant
woman do all the work?

And I think you're gonna want to add

"as*ault with a ceramic clown statue".

Got it.

- Lester, it's been a delight.
- [ELEVATOR DINGS]

You gotta check out Jalama.

You get a nice offshore, four to
six foot, beach break perfection.

And it's right near Lompoc Federal Pen
where you're gonna do your time.

I got, like, ten years, man.

Yeah, it's something to look forward to.

- Ah, Baxter.
- Yo.

- Think about that baby name I mentioned?
- Uh, think about it?

I can't pronounce it.

- Kamohali'li.
- Mmm.

Hawaiian shark god.

You know what?

We have a boy name and a girl name,

but that's the name
if I have a shark baby.

Okay. I'll circle back.

I don't get that guy.

Who, Xavier? Nobody does.

Great deputy though. If you're
good with him, you're good.

[MAN] Turner, Baxter. Get in here.

This is Agent Long with the FBI.

The chief tells me you're
good at witness protection.

- Well, we try not to lose too many.
- [CHUCKLES]

Excuse me? How many have you lost?

Oh, uh, no. That was a joke.
We... We haven't ever lost one.

- I hope you'll take this seriously.
- Of course they will.

- Yes.
- [MOUTHS] Yes.

- Uh, who's the witness?
- His name's Larry Gluck.

He's part of a bank robbery
crew. Hit 22 banks in 2019.

He enters witness protection post-trial.

He'll need 24-hour
protection until then.

- No problem. We're...
- [CELL PHONE RINGS]

We'll, uh, we'll make
sure he's taken care of.

You two are my bodyguards?

Shouldn't you be...
I don't know, bigger?

- Are you pregnant?
- [GASPS] I am. Will you tell my husband?

We'll be in charge of your
safety during the trial.

[GROANS] Hope you're better at
your job than these FBI idiots.

Oh. They're all over me to rat.

"Oh, Larry, make a deal, make a deal".

So I flip and what do you know?
Two of my old crew, they get away.

Two of Mr. Gluck's associates
escaped after a sh**t-out.

Which means they're out there
brainstorming ways to t*rture me.

We won't let that happen.

How you gonna do that, wrap
me up in your embryonic sac?

Keep me in your little tummy?

I'm going to need to know the specifics

of my client's security arrangements.

We don't discuss security protocols.
It's to keep your client safe.

- Shall we?
- Mmm.

- [KNOCKS]
- [LATCH OPENS]

That's the best you can do?

[SCOTT] Stop here.

- Take one... Take one of these?
- [JESSICA] Yep.

- No, no.
- [LARRY] Okay, fine.

[MAN ON RADIO] Decoy one, go.

Decoy two, go.

You've got to be kidding me.
This place is a freaking dump!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, you know, we had a room for you

at the Four Seasons, but they just...

They have this crazy rule
against bank robbers.

Hey, don't look so down. The
place comes with babysitters.

Deputy Kim's right outside
and Barrios here

- will tuck you in at night.
- Yo.

We'll be back in the morning
to take you to court.

I just sit here? What about food?

I don't see a room service
menu. You know what?

The vending machine's got those

nacho cheese combos from the early '90s.

Ooh, might not have 'em long.

- I could go for a combo.
- Mmm.

- Shall we?
- Let's do it.

- Bye, Larry.
- [GRUNTS]

[GROANING] Oh, God.

When I was an MP in Iraq,

I got in fights with drunk Navy Seals
that didn't kick like this baby.

I swear it's like the kid's trying
to escape through my kidney.

You know if you need to take it
slower, you can talk to the chief.

- He already wants me riding a desk.
- [CELL PHONE BEEPS]

No. I'm staying on the street
till they drag me off.

Uh-oh. Who's blowing up your phone?

- Oh, uh, my mom. Yeah.
- Okay.

She's packing up my dad's old stuff.

I'll call her when I get home.

That must be rough.

Losing a husband all
of a sudden like that.

And you're not giving
her any grandbabies.

Oh. You're having a baby
so I gotta have one too?

Maybe.

My sister already gave her
the best grandkid ever,

and I'm not really dating anyway, so...

Right, 'cause you're still hung up
on that ex who dumped you?

Not hung up. Did not dump me. Nope.

We just decided to focus on our careers.

And that's why I keep catching
you on her Instagram?

It would be rude to unfollow.

- I be watching.
- What...

Oh, man.

Hey, point is, say the word,
I'll set you up. I got cousins.

Yeah, I've met your cousins. They're
lovely. Maybe after I make chief.

Thank you. Let's never
talk about it again, okay?

[ROOMBA WHIRRING]

[KNOCKING]

Looks like we got a visitor.

- Matt, Laura, what are you doing here?
- [DOG BARKS]

- Uncle Scott, we brought your dog.
- Geez. Whoa.

- Hey, Scotty.
- [SCOTT] Hello.

And Mom wanted to be here, but she
got tied up with all the packing.

- So, this is Hooch.
- [BARKS]

There's food, a leash, some
toys. This one's his favorite.

- Mr. Horsey.
- Okay.

I don't mean to just drop him and go,

but traffic was awful
getting into the city,

and it's Grady's night with Matthew
tonight, so I have to run.

What's going on? What
are you talking about?

- Didn't Mom call you?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had a crazy, busy day.
I was about to call her back.

- She was calling about this?
- [BARKS]

He slobbered all over the car.
Mom calls him the Fountain of Spit.

- [HOOCH WHINES]
- It was awesome.

That is awesome.

You can't just drop off a giant dog
I've never met in my house, Laura.

[SIGHS] Okay. Dad adopted
Hooch last November.

So the only reason you haven't met him

is you hardly ever come home anymore.

And second, Mom said she made
all the arrangements with you.

Matt, don't you want a dog, buddy?

But he's your dog, Uncle Scott.

Yeah, but you two seem to have
a pretty special bond, right?

Like, maybe if you told your mom...

Mom says I'll see him when I visit,

that Grandpa wanted you to have him.

- What? What?
- [HOOCH GRUNTS]

That's true. Here.

[HOOCH WHINING]

Mom gave me this. Dad
wrote it before he passed.

But... Laura. Laura. I cannot do
this. I cannot take care of a dog.

Stop being so dramatic.
You grew up around dogs.

Grew up around earthquakes.
Doesn't mean I want one.

Well, you got one now.

- Go on, Hooch, you're home!
- No! No, no!

- You're gonna be fine.
- I will not be fine.

Matt, you wanna say something
to your mom? Say something!

Hooch! No, no, no. No! Hooch.

[FUNK MUSIC PLAYS]

Come... Come here. Come
here. Hooch! Sit, sit, sit.

Stay down... Stay. Oh! Whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa. Oh, oh! Whoa!

[PANTS] Oh, no!

Wait, wait, wait. What? [GROANS]

No, no. No. [PANTING, GRUNTING]

- [HOOCH WHINES]
- [PANTING]

You... You will stay in the kitchen.

- [SIGHS]
- [HOOCH BARKS]

Mom, Mom, you can't just send me a dog.

I didn't just send him. I called.

And I was literally just
about to call you back,

but I can't take care of him, okay?

I don't even spend enough time
with my Roomba. All right?

I'm literally working all the time.

Your father worked all the time,
and he took great care of his dogs.

Not the same. He was a local cop.

Well, he wanted you to have Hooch.
He rescued him from the shelter.

He said it was almost like
the original Hooch came back.

Which is all very magical, Mom,
but I can't take care of him.

I just got put on street duty.

I'm working all the time, and I...

I'm just still trying
to prove myself, Mom.

Come on. You're gonna love him.

You know I love dogs. I love your dogs.

I lo... I love all dogs, but
there's a reason I never got a...

- [CRASHING]
- [HOOCH WHINES]

I'll call you back.

- I left you alone for 30 seconds.
- [GRUNTS, WHINES]

Hope you're having fun,
'cause you're leaving tomorrow.

[WHINES]

"You grew up with dogs". Yeah, I know.

[GROANS, SIGHS]

[GROANS]

[GIGGLES]

We never should've broken up.

We're incredible together.

[GIGGLES]

[GIGGLING] You're bad.
You're bad. You're bad.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, uh...

Oh... Oh.

[WHIRRING]

Roomie! Roomie!

[STATIC, POWERS DOWN]

[WHINES]

[SCOTT] Laura, you can't do this to me.

If I leave him at my
house, he'll destroy it.

He already made me late for work.

Look, if it'll help, I may
be able to stop by later

- and help you with some dog-proofing...
- [SCOTT] No, no, no.

I don't need dog-proofing,
I need dog removal, Laura.

Hooch would be way too much here, okay?

I mean, gosh, I am barely
keeping it together as it is.

Between Matthew and the foster
turtles, and Boodles has a cold,

and Blob has his exercises
and his special needs.

I have needs! I have needs, Laura.

Look, my partner's calling me.

Just think about it. Agree to think
about it. I'm gonna call you back.

Are you thinking about it? I gotta go.

- Hey, Jess. Sorry, I'm...
- [JESSICA] Scott?

Scott, we've got an emergency
here. The safe house got hit.

Wait, what? What happened?

Barrios is down! The witness is gone!

Jess, I'm five minutes away. Can
you give me a description? Anything.

Yes. Three males in masks,
driving a silver Suburban.

Got it. I'm on my...
W-Wait. Silver Suburban?

Yes. Yes, they went south on Linwood.

[SCOTT] I see 'em! I'm in pursuit.

[HONKS]

We got company.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Can't make out during
a car chase, Hooch.

We can't make out during
a car chase. Stay back.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

- Come on.
- [HOOCH BARKING]

No, no, no. No barking.

- [MAN] Watch it!
- [HONKS]

- [GASPS]
- [HOWLS]

No howling. No howling either.

Tail in my eyes. No, Hooch.
A little less tail, Hooch...

[WOMAN SCREAMS] Hey!

- Sorry!
- What are you doing?

No, no. Dirty! Dirty. Put that down.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

- [HONKING]
- Look out!

[GRUNTS] Hold on!

[GRUNTS]

[MAN SHOUTING]

[HONKS]

- [BARKS]
- [GRUNTS]

Whoa. Oh, my...

- [BARKS]
- I see them.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [BARKS]

[SCOTT PANTS]

Requesting backup.
I'm in an alley off of 15th,

approaching suspects' vehicle.

- [EXHALES]
- [BARKING]

No, Hooch, go away. Go.

Hooch, go back to the car.

[SNIFFS]

[WHINES, BARKS]

Hooch, we're not playing
with trash right now. Go!

[TRASH CAN RATTLES]

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

[RATTLES]

[SCREAMS]

- [CAT MEOWS]
- [SIGHS]

[GROANS]

I do not have a visual.
Suspects are not with the car.

[HOOCH BARKS]

Seriously, Hooch? Hooch, get away.

Hooch, go!

[GROANS]

[WHINES]

[PANTING]

Barrios is gonna be fine. Thank God.

b*llet made it through his body armor,
but didn't do much damage.

Our case, on the other hand, that's
a disaster. How did this happen?

It was an ambush.

Three dudes in masks hit
while we were changing shifts.

I... I was heading in, I ID'd the
suspects' vehicle and pursued...

- You should have been at the site.
- I was slightly delayed, sir.

Chief, it's not Scott's fault.

If he hadn't been on the road,
they would have gotten away clean.

But they still got away, didn't they?

Police backup found nothing, the
car's a total waste, evidence-wise.

Also...

why is there a dog in the office?

[STAMMERS] It's a long story, sir.
The animal was given to me.

I tried to leave him downstairs,

but he kept eating
the headrest in my car.

- Um, why... why's he between my legs?
- [BARKS]

He likes you, sir. Or... Or maybe
you recently had peanut butter.

Peanut butter?

[LAWYER] Where the hell's my client?

Deputy Turner. Didn't you tell me
you knew what you were doing?

- Huh? Maybe you can tell me where my cli...
- [HOOCH BARKING]

[SCREAMS]

You keep that thing away from me.

Hooch, quiet.

Maybe you should've chose a different
day to bring your dog to work.

It's not mine.

[LONG] The Bureau was counting on you.

Your team blew our entire case.

- Why don't we, uh, talk in my office?
- Yes.

First, we'll talk about
finding my client,

then we'll talk about
the lawsuit I'm filing.

- Okay.
- [HOOCH BARKING]

And that is a health code violation.

Hey. You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

That's your "I'm fine" face?

Ouch.

I've been on the streets with you,
what, three months?

Now this happens?

You can't blame yourself.

There's a reason I vouched
for you with the chief.

Fact is, nobody cares about doing
the job right more than you do.

You remember that time you reimbursed

the department 35 cents for parking?

Thirty-five cents!

Is this supposed to make me feel better?

I'm just telling it like it is.

What are you gonna do
about your new roommate?

- Oh, Hooch?
- Yeah.

Well, obviously I can't keep him.

Guess I gotta take him to the poun...

- Do not say "the pound", Scott Turner.
- You saw him in there.

So what, he hates lawyers.
That's a plus in my book.

You do know what happens
to dogs at the pound, right?

Yeah, some... Many get adopted, right?

To wonderful, loving families.

Shouldn't Hooch be with a
wonderful, loving family?

Who, I don't know, loves slobber?

[GRUNTS]

What are you looking at, man?
I didn't destroy your apartment.

All right, look. I think I might
know someone you can talk to.

So I'm working with this new guy,

Scott Turner. He's in a bit of a jam.

You think you could give him
some pointers with his dog?

Uh... [CHUCKLES]

I don't think pointers would help.

I mean, training a dog is all
about building a relationship.

- Yeah.
- It could take years for a working dog...

Working dog? Oh, no, no, no.

I just think he wants a dog who
won't, like, eat his car seats

and jump in the bed with
him, that kinda thing.

Oh, well. With behavior
issues like that,

it could be something deeper.

If you think he should
just give up on the dog,

- then I'll tell him that...
- No!

Jess, you should never
give up on an animal.

- Right.
- I mean, I could help any dog.

Oh, great. So, Erica, meet Scott.

Uh.

I'll let you two chat. I got a
doughnut waiting in the car.

- Oh...
- Thanks.

Hi. I... I'm Erica Mounir.

Uh, Scott Turner. This is Hooch.

Hi, Hooch.

I run the K-9 expl*sives
detection training

for the Marshal Service.

I-I know this is an unusual situation,

but if there's anything
you can do, please.

Please, I'm... I'm desperate.

So, how'd you end up with him exactly?

Oh, uh, my father left him to me.

And if I give him away,
my family will disown me,

and I'm pretty sure Jessica
will sh**t me, or worse.

Oh. What's worse than sh**ting you?

Um, uh... Uh, I'm sure
she had some ideas.

- Yeah. Sorry.
- Hi.

So anyway, I'm just
stuck with him for now,

and he's just totally untrained.

- Do you mind if I...
- Please.

Hooch, sit.

[WHINES]

Good boy.

Uh...

Look. Look. Good.

- Down.
- [WHINES]

Wow.

Oh, roll over.

Ah! Good boy. Good boy.

Maybe my dad showed him
some things, 'cause...

'cause with me... it's not good.

- Yeah.
- He almost ate a lawyer.

So, um, usually in situations like this,

it's less about the dog than the owner.

- So it's my fault?
- No. No, no.

Maybe. A little bit?

It's just, dogs watch us, they
read our faces, our bodies.

They can tell if we're nervous...

- [WHINES]
- Shh.

- ... or angry, or when we need love.
- [HOOCH GROWLS]

Okay, right. But Hooch didn't destroy

my apartment 'cause I need love.

Well, Jess said he got
into bed with you,

so maybe Hooch thought you did.

I'm sorry. You don't need love.

I mean... You probably
have tons of girlfriends...

- I don't.
- You don't?

- I mean, it's fine.
- Great.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Can you help me? With the dog.

- Sure. I'd love to help with the dog.
- Great.

- How's Thursday?
- Love it.

I wish it was Thursday.

- I'm... I'm counting the hours, seriously.
- Bye, Hooch.

Thank you. Bye. Bye.

The exit's that way.

Mmm. This is good.

Uncle Scott usually never has any food

other than chicken
breast and vegetables.

- Yeah.
- Mmm.

You know, you can thank Hooch for that.

He unplugged my fridge somehow,
and all my food went bad.

[LAURA] Mm-hmm.

He behaves for everyone but me.

I... I swear, he's doing
this deliberately.

It's like Dad said. It doesn't
matter if they drive you crazy.

If the dog's got your back
and you've got the dog's back,

- that's your forever dog.
- "Your forever dog".

Yes. Well, Hooch is not my forever dog.

I don't even think he's
my two-minute dog.

Although, to be fair, I've had him
all day and it's felt like forever.

- [WHINES]
- Aw. You made him sad.

No, that's his face. Okay?

He literally always looks
sad. It masks the evil.

Hey, Matty, show Uncle Scott
what we found in Grandpa's things.

[MATTHEW] It's you and Grandpa.

I miss Grandpa.

Me too, bud.

- Mom says you fought all the time.
- [HOOCH WHINES]

You know, um... we
loved each other. A lot.

But he just... he didn't want
me to move to the city,

and then he wanted me to have a dog.

So, he won the fight?

Uh, yeah.

Now that you mention it,
it... it appears he did.

- Why don't you like dogs?
- Wha...

Answer the question.

Of course I like dogs.

I just... I don't like the way that
they drool. And smell. And act.

First sign of a sociopath?
Distaste for dogs.

Oh.

I'm just trying to focus on my job, bud.

But Grandpa said dogs
made him better at his job.

That they were smarter than people.

'Cause people see what
they think they should see,

but dogs just see what's there.

Hmm.

[WHINES]

Hey, Matty, come help me with the
door. Let's let him work. Come on.

[SCOTT] Dogs see what's there.

Chief, I was thinking
it over and I realized,

this whole kidnapping thing,
it doesn't add up, does it?

Seems pretty simple. Gluck's crew
came after him for turning on 'em.

But how do we know it was them?

- Who else would it be?
- [SCOTT] It doesn't fit their MO at all.

I mean, look at the files.

What the hell happened to these?

Uh, I'm still working on the whole

"paper's not food"
thing with Hooch. Hey...

- [HOOCH WHINING]
- Hooch, slow down! Sorry.

[MAN] Oh, you okay?

I need our witness back, Turner.
Not speculation and dog spit.

- Yeah.
- Look, I wanted to talk to you.

I'm taking you and Deputy
Baxter off the case.

- What?
- This is direct from US Marshal Sickerman.

The FBI Special Agent
in charge is blaming us.

It's a whole political thing now.

Chief, I promise you
I am onto something...

Turner. Don't make this
harder than it has to be.

Get your files, get your
dog and go home.

Okay.

- So that's it? We're just off the case?
- [SIGHS]

All I know is what the chief
said. The FBI is upset, and...

- And we're the fall guys.
- Come on.

Yeah, it seems to be the idea.

[GASPS]

What is that thing doing in the
building again? It's a menace.

Calm down. We're just leaving.

Hey! Heard you two got
thrown off the case.

Least the Marshal Service
got that right. [CHUCKLES]

What happened to you?
You had it right before.

Bad man. Bite. Got it?

[SIGHS] You're hopeless.

Well, you ate my files,
got me kicked off the case,

ruined my apartment...

Anything else in my life
you want to destroy?

Don't answer that.

[SIGHS]

[HOOCH PANTING]

You want to read this with
me? I guess it's about you.

[BARKS]

I'll take that as a yes.

[EXHALES]

"Dear Scotty, I know we haven't
always agreed on things,

and I know you think
you don't want a dog.

There was a time I thought the same.

But everything I care about
in my life started with a dog.

[CRYING] Your mom, your sister...

and you.

- [SCOTT SNIFFS]
- [WHINES]

I want you to have that forever
dog you can count on.

Hooch is special, Scott.

He's smart, he's loyal and,

more than anything,
he's got a big heart.

And I want you to have
a dog who loves everyone

as much as I love you".

[SNIFFS]

[SNIFFLES]

Thanks, Hooch.

[CHUCKLES]

Maybe you don't love everyone.

That lawyer? [CHUCKLES]

Ugh.

Wait a second.

What was up with you and that lawyer?

I mean, yesterday you
wanted to eat the guy,

and today, he was less interesting
than the office plant.

Unless...

Angel.

- Good. With me.
- [BARKS]

Angel, heel.

Good girl.

Hey. Uh, Erica?

- Deputy Turner!
- Can I talk to you?

Uh...

Didn't we say Thursday?
Is today Thursday?

Nope. It's Wednesday.

Oh. Okay. Cool. So, you're
just here Wednesday then.

You know that thing
you said the other day

about dogs being able to
pick up on human emotions?

Like, things we don't necessarily
know we're doing?

Yeah.

I was wondering if they just see,
like... like, dog-related things...

No, they see all kinds of things.

They can sense tiny, little changes
in our facial expressions

and the way we move...

I mean, they don't
just see things either.

They can smell changes
in our body chemistry.

And then they just use that
to sense our emotions.

- [DOGS BARKING]
- Isn't that cool?

I mean, they could smell
if we're sad or stressed...

Not that you smell. You smell great.

I'm sorr... My question's just
a little more urgent than that.

- Oh.
- We had a witness get abducted,

and I think it might have
been an inside job.

What?

Do you think a dog might be able
to, like... like, pick up on that?

It's possible, for sure.

A dog can tell if someone's
hiding something,

especially if they're
nervous or angry about it.

Do you think that Hooch...

Yesterday, he was barking
at this lawyer. Hated him.

- [BARKING]
- [SCREAMS]

And then today, didn't
care about him. At all.

And I realize, what if he wasn't
barking at the lawyer?

What if he was barking at
the FBI agent behind him?

[HOOCH BARKS]

He knew everything about the
operation, and if he betrayed us...

Yeah. I think maybe Hooch
sees something that we don't.

[R & B MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

- [SIGHS]
- You all right?

How do you think I am?

It's bad enough Barrios is in the
hospital and we lost the witness,

but now I can't even
do anything about it.

Baby... You think that
this may be a sign?

I mean, with the baby comin' and all,

maybe it's time for you to, you know...

Uh-uh. This kid already
took my perfect butt.

I draw the line at my career.

Come on. All I'm saying is that

with the baby comin',
maybe it's time to...

To what?

You know, enjoy some of these
fine pork chops I prepared.

The pork chops? That's what
you were about to say.

Mm-hmm.

'Cause you do know it's a crime
to lie to federal law enforcement.

- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- [KNOCKING]

You eat. I'll get it.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Oh, hey, Hooch!

What are you guys doing here?

Thinking about doing something
stupid that could end my career.

Of all the words I never thought
I'd hear come out your mouth...

Jess, I think I know how to find Larry.

Agent Long should be leaving soon.

I called and checked. He's
working late with the chief.

Just wanna make sure
I have this straight.

We're tailing an FBI agent
because your dog got a hunch.

You sure you don't wanna
run this by a hamster first?

It's not just a hunch. You know that
alley I chased the Suburban to?

Remember I told you Hooch kept
wanting to play in the garbage?

So I started thinking,
what if he wasn't playing?

What if he was following the kidnappers?
Turns out, I was right.

I went back to that alley with
Hooch earlier, and I find this mask.

That's one of the masks they had,

but how does it connect to Agent Long?

Think about it. Why stop in that
alley? It doesn't make sense.

Unless Agent Long had
to get rid of his disguise

so he could get back to the crime scene.

Have you been huffing
your protein powder?

Accusing an FBI agent of
joining a bank heist crew,

kidnapping his own witness... [STAMMERS]

We could check the mask with
the DNA test, but that...

Jessica, we don't need
the DNA. We have Hooch.

When I went back to that dumpster,

why did Hooch go straight for the mask?

Because he smelled Agent Long.

[HOOCH WHINES]

[SIGHS]

Wow. And Hooch figured
it out all by himself.

That's incredible.

Hooch... [STAMMERS] What do you mean?

Wow. [STAMMERS] Well, he was the
one who knew to look in the garbage.

That's not... I mean,

I actually, you know, sort
of put the pieces together.

Really, Scott? That's low.
Taking the credit from poor Hooch?

- How am I taking credit?
- I am so sorry, Hooch.

Good job. Good job.

- I'm a deputy marshal, okay?
- Yeah.

- He's a dog. He eats bugs.
- Oh, my Go...

- [HOOCH BARKS]
- [JESSICA] That Agent Long?

Yep.

Some dog.

Unless the Feds are setting up shop
in janky warehouse buildings,

we should check it out.

What about the baby?

Did they not cover this in health
class? The baby goes where I go.

And before you give me some
speech about protecting me,

let me just say that my
back hurts, I gotta pee

and my feet are like water balloons.

But more important than all of
that, is we got a witness to save.

- So just grab Hooch, and let's go.
- W-Wait.

Wait, you want to bring Hooch too?

- No! No. No way. No.
- [HOOCH BARKS]

[WHINES, PANTS]

Do you think he's just gonna
stay quiet if we leave him?

Listen to a doggy podcast or something?

Great. Come on. All right. Come on.

[LONG] Do you want more? Or you
gonna tell us what we want to know?

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

We both know the only reason
you flipped on your buddies

was so you could rip them
off for their cut of the cash

you took from the banks.

Which, by my count, should be...
two million bucks, give or take.

Now tell me where it is.

What are you gonna do
then? Then you k*ll me?

Listen to me, Larry.

I'm not gonna k*ll you.
I just want the money.

- Ah.
- If you don't talk, though...

- We gotta get in there now.
- [LARRY] Just hold on.

Hold up, cowboy. We run
in there, we get shot.

I got it at my mom's place,
in a bowling bag in the garage.

[SCOTT] Yeah, we don't,
our witness gets shot.

[LARRY] You said you
weren't gonna k*ll me.

[CHUCKLES] Larry, Larry.
Of course I'm gonna k*ll you.

Hang on. I got an idea.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

What the hell was that?

Sounded like a noise.

Yeah, idiot. I got that far.

Go check it out!

I don't know how you worked
with these meatheads.

You gotta walk them through
every little thing.

- US Marshals!
- Don't move!

Easy, easy. This isn't
what it looks like.

Help me!

[GRUNTS]

- [GROANS]
- [BARKS]

Get me out of here! You...

[BARKING]

[SCOTT] Hooch!

[GRUNTING]

[HOOCH GROWLS]

Now there's a dog?

- [GRUNTING]
- [BARKS]

[LARRY] Just sh**t him!
He's behind a wooden box!

b*ll*ts go through wood!

[GRUNTING CONTINUES]

What kind of idiots are you?

- Oh, no! Come on!
- [GRUNTING]

- Whoa!
- [BARKS]

[SCREAMS]

[GROANING]

Yes!

- [GRUNTING]
- [GROWLING]

Finally. Some handcuffs.

- [SCOTT PANTS]
- [GROANING]

Yo, Scott. You all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine. Where's Long?
- You let him get away.

Have you not been paying attention?
We just saved your life.

Barely.

- Jess, I gotta go after him.
- Yeah, go on. I'll get us some backup.

Yeah, I also need assistance.

The guy on the ground
in a zip tie and a chair.

Go on, Hooch. Show me where
he is. Find him for me.

[BARKING]

It's over, Agent Long!

[LONG] Oh, ya think?

Seems like it's just getting started.

[SCOTT GRUNTS]

- You should've stayed out of it.
- [WHISPERING] Hooch, get back.

Nobody was gonna get hurt
that didn't deserve it.

Well, you're not getting
out of here, Agent Long.

The police are already on their way.

Well, you hear any
sirens yet, smart guy?

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING] Get back. Hooch, get back.

Look, you don't want to do this.

Yeah, I do. I busted my a*s
for a year chasing that scumbag.

He walks with millions and a
new life, and what do I get?

A divorce, a bunch of debts I can't pay.

- [SNIFFING]
- What is it, Hooch?

Is something...

Alameda docks, by the ship cranes.
There's a gray Jeep parked nearby.

Just get here, now.

We gotta get out of here now.
The whole place is going up.

Yeah, I can see that. Let's
go. Don't try anything.

- [g*nf*re]
- [JESSICA] Get down! Get down! Stay down!

He came around front.
He's gonna trap us in here.

We could wait it out. [GROANS]

And the place is exploding.

Door number one's looking
like our only option.

[HOOCH WHINES]

Jess, Hooch is faster than either of us,

and he would love to take
a bite out of Agent Long.

Long's gonna start sh**ting
the second that door opens.

He's looking for me. He's
never gonna see Hooch.

Hey, buddy.

We're gonna go out there in a
second. It's gonna be dangerous.

But I'm gonna be with you the whole way,

because I know you have my back.

- [WHINING]
- I have your back too.

Because you're my forever dog.

No matter what.

- You ready?
- [BARKS]

[CRASHES]

[BARKING]

No!

[BARKING CONTINUES]

- [GROWLING]
- [GROANING]

Drop it! Or you're dog food.

- [SIRENS WAILING]
- [LARRY] Oh! Finally. [GRUNTS]

Good boy.

[BARKS]

- [MAN] Way to go, Turner.
- [MARSHALS CHEERING]

- All right, Baxter.
- Way to go, you two.

All right, all right. Hey,
Chief wants to see us.

- Okay.
- Hey, Turner.

Ooh. A shaka from Xavier. Nice.

Took me a year to get one of those.

I thought maybe he was
telling me I had a phone call.

Glad you're here.

Yeah...

- [MENDEZ] Is...
- Oh.

Can... Can we stop this?

- No.
- Hooch. Sit.

Wow.

I'm gonna start by saying in the future,

when I say you're off the case,
you're off the case, understood?

Yes, sir.

That said, nice work.

Got a call from Marshal
Sickerman himself.

He says thanks.

Also, he's decided that...

- What's his name?
- Hooch.

- Hooch?
- [BARKS]

Because of Hooch's service

and maybe because he took our
friends at the FBI down a peg,

he's decided that the two
of you are a K-9 unit,

effective immediately.

Which is why I wanna... talk
to Ms. Mounir about training.

Actually, sir, it's clear

he has a lot of training
already from Scott's father.

Unconventional, maybe,
but kind of amazing.

[HOOCH BARKS]

- [CHUCKLING] Oh.
- Maybe I wasn't clear.

I mean train him to stop doing anything

that involves dry-cleaning my pants.

[WHINES]

Right.

Hey, hey. Come here. Come here, Hooch.

We're gonna be a K-9 unit. Does
that sound good? [CHUCKLES]

- Oh, um, Erica. Hey, Erica. Hi.
- Hi.

Before you go, I just wanted
to ask you something.

- You do?
- Uh-huh.

Oh. Uh, sure.

Do you really believe those
things you said about Hooch?

Oh, um...

- Yeah. Yeah, I do.
- Yeah?

He just needs someone who
gets him, sees how great he is.

- I'm trying.
- [HOOCH BARKS]

- I really am.
- Yeah.

These things, they take time.

He's just not great at,
uh... picking up on signals.

You hear that, Hooch? You
gotta pick up on signals, right?

Gotta be aware of what's
right in front of your face.

So, where do we start?

Hooch got along really well
with Angel the other day.

So, you know, if he wants... [STAMMERS]

... if you want, he can train with her.

And the other K-9 units.

Yeah, great. Sounds good.

Great. Wow, I... I'm...

Angel will be really
excited to work with him.

Um... All right. Enjoy.

Thank you. I will. Yeah.

You hear that, Hooch?
You got a date, buddy.

[CHUCKLES]

All right, Hooch. Listen up.

Now that we're roommates and coworkers,

we need some rules, okay?

Now, I know I said that
"forever dog" thing,

but that doesn't mean dog who
does whatever he wants, okay?

So that's the dog bed,
this is the people couch.

Me here, you there.

- [BARKING]
- Whoa, oh!

- No, no. Stop. That's my phone.
- [CELL PHONE RINGS]

Hey, look. Unless you're gonna grow
hands, I gotta get that, right?

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Hi, Laura.

Hey, Scott. I'm at Mom's.

Okay. Something wrong?

You know how we've been going
through Dad's old things?

I found something.

What is it?

[LAURA] All these files.

I think Dad was working on a case

before the heart attack. Something big.

What do you mean?

There's all these notes and dozens
of police files on major criminals.

Drug dealers, organized crime...

Well, he was a cop.

Scott, all of this was hidden
in the back of his closet.

I think he was onto
something scary enough

he didn't wanna tell anyone.

And it looks like the only
one with him was Hooch.

Okay. I, um...

- We'll get out there as soon as we can.
- Thanks.

Sure you can't talk, boy?

Huh?

Okay. Guess we're gonna have
to figure this out together.