01x10 - Dark Chocolate

[bunniefuu]

- How was your first day?
- I love it here.

- Baby?
- You know what you're doing?

- I was trying to clean
out the septic tank.

- Boy, you 'bout
to k*ll yourself.

- [explosions]
- Oh, no.

- [muffled] You need to
get this stuff off me!

- All that doo-doo!

- [screams]
- Run, fool!

- Lock the door!
Cora, it was out there.

It was big, brown,
and it smelled like him!

- That's it.

- If we gonna be
in business together,

y'all got to stop
all this fussing.

- Can I go to study hall?
- What?

- You were right.

I just needed to give
this place a chance.

So can I go? - Yeah.

- I love you so much!

- You don't think
that's strange?

- I think that I'm
glad she's happy.

- ♪

- Yo!

- Hi.

- Where's Mom and Dad?

- I don't know.

- Okay.

Where's Grandpa?

- I don't know. [giggles]

But it will be
so fun to see him.

- Fun to see him?

Alright.

Let's be honest with each other.

Okay, uh, how do I
put this delicately?

What's wrong with you?

- What do you mean?

- That. That... that's what I
mean.

Why are you smiling so much?

- I'm always smiling.

- No, you're not.
You're normally grumpy.

And sleepy. And annoying.

- Do I look like a dwarf to you?
I'm just happy.

- I mean, Happy was the
name of a dwarf, but okay.

- Is there something you need?

- Are... are you
doing your homework?

- [laughs] Oh! Yes, I'm
doing my homework.

- Uh, why?
- What do you mean, why?

We're in school.
We should be doing our homework.

[sighs]

- Who are you and what have
you done with my sister?

- What are you
talking about, silly?

- Don't touch me!

- Something's going on with you.

- No, something's
going on with you!

- [phone vibrates]

What's this?

- My phone.

- Is this the bus driver?

- No.

- Why do you have a picture of
the bus driver on your phone?

- Give me my phone, loser.

- [phone vibrating]

- Oh, I get it!

You like him!

- Philip!

- [phone vibrates]

- I'ma catch you in these heels.

- You're probably
gonna fall first.

- [phone vibrates]

- And he teaches study hall?

- I said gimme!

- Uh, how old is he?
'Cause he look 25.

- If you don't give me
my phone right now.

Right now.
- I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad.

I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad, I
think that's a better solution.

- [phone vibrates]
- So? Tell them.

- Wait, wait, wait.
Does he have your number?

- No.

- [phone rings]

- Then why is he
calling you right now?

- Give me my phone! Give... give...

- Definitely
telling Mom and Dad.

- For the last time,

if you don't give me
my phone right now...

- Say I won't answer it.

- You won't!
- Say I won't.

- You won't, you won't, 'cause...
- Hello? Hello? Who is this?

Who is this?
Yeah, she busy right now.

- I'm going... I'm...

Don't...
- Got the phone in the hand.

He hung up. He hung up anyway.

He hung up.

How old is he, for real?

Okay, relax, relax.

- [grunts]
- What in the world?

Dang, girl!

- Try that again.

- You're aggressive
this morning.

Hey, but you stopped
smiling though.

Ah, ha!

- You don't wanna
play with me today.

- You're right, I don't.

- Leave that alone.

And get out of my face!

- Okay!

- [phone vibrates]
- [giggles]

{\an8} - ♪

{\an8}♪ No matter what you do,
I love you ♪

{\an8}♪ No matter where you go,
I'm behind you for sure ♪

{\an8}♪ Always remember
blood ain't never water ♪

{\an8}♪ We'll make it if
we stay together ♪♪

- ♪

- [doorbell rings]

- We need help!
- Okay.

- Come on!
- What do you want me to do?

- To help get him up!
- Get him up? Like, how?

- He been hit.
He could be "unconscilous."

- I'm not helping that...

- So you're not gonna
help him get up?

- How am I gonna
help with a hook?

- You can hook it to
his collar and drag him.

- I'd like to lend a
hand, but I only got one.

- Grandpa!

- What?

- Can you at least tell
me where the soap is?

- In your damn hand.

- This is emp-ty!

- Girl, we don't use
no soap around here.

And how I'ma lather up
with a hook?

- You should put a
pump on your hook.

- I should.

That would be nice.

Look!

It's back over there somewhere.

- Mom, hey, hey,
what's going on?

- N-nothing.

- I have something to tell you.

- Okay, not now, son.

- Where's Dad?
- He's, uh...

- Full of sh*t!

- Grandpa, would you
stop using that language?

- Ooh, those are nice.

- I said stop it!

- [chuckles] She
bringing 'em closer.

- Mom, Mom, what's going on?

- Nothing! [stutters]

- Then... then why y'all
running around here like that?

- Ooh, Lord, I
think I need a mask.

- What's happening?

- Look, I think there's
one in the kitchen.

- Oh, okay, I'll look for it.

- Baby...
- Mom...

-... I'll be right back, okay?

- Can somebody please
tell me what's going on?

- [doorbell rings]

- Son, they don't
want you to know.

- Know what?

- Son, your dad... your
dad was a great man.

He was great.

Great, great, great.

- What?

- Yeah, I hit him.

- You hit him?

- No, technically,
I ran over him.

- So...
- In my car.

- So my dad was run
over by a... a rainbow?

What are you talking about?

- I'm talking about
your dad got hit.

No, he got ran over.

Your dad got ran over and now
they're trying to save his life.

Yeah.

- Which one am I listening to?

- Talk to the hand.
Talk to the hand.

- Where is he?

- [higher-pitched voice]
He outside.

- Mr. Brown!
- He outside.

- Wait, okay.

- No, no, son,
don't go out there.

Don't go out there!

Your dad... your dad...
Don't go out there!

Your dad got, uh, focalitis.

- Mr. Brown!

- No, I gotta go help him.

Even though I'm a little
dizzy after that, but I'm...

- You know what?
Yeah, you go help him.

Go help him. - Mister... Mister...

- I will.

- Now, Cora, let him
do all the work.

- Mr. Brown,
don't send him out there

to see his daddy like that.

- Well, Cora, he need to learn
something about life today.

- Don't do that, Mr. Brown.

- Is my dad okay?
- Yes, sweetheart, he's okay.

He got hit by a car,
but he's alright.

- I need to go!

- No, wait, no, you can't
go out there like that.

Look, your daddy was
working on the septic tank

and it just blew up and
got all over him, that's all.

- Boom,
logs and stuff hitting him,

toilet paper, and that...

- A septic tank burst?
- Yes.

- All... all over him?
- Yes, it got all over him.

- MR. BROWN: Mm-hmm.
- That's why we need these.

So you don't wanna
go help him, baby.

- Yeah, you're right.

[indistinct mumbling]

- Well, baby, don't
worry about it.

He's okay.

- Cora, he don't look worried.

Look at his face.
He don't look worried.

- You guys go on
and handle that.

And just let me know when,
uh, he's all cleaned up.

- Oh.

- Told ya, he ain't
worried at all.

- Not enough to
clean sewage off him.

- You children today..

Boy, is that girl... what?

Wow! How's she...
- That's enough!

- Mr. Brown, come
on and help us!

- Cora, I ain't going out there.
- Why? You did it!

- Well, ain't nobody telling
him to go around and walk around

smelling like Stink-a-litas!
- Would you come on?

- Cora, you ain't got to be
hollering at me like that.

That ain't Christ-like.

The Lord will talk to me
in a small, still voice,

like this:
[quietly] Stop it, my child.

- Would you come on?
Get out of here.

- Cora, the Lord told me
to tell you to quit!

- Well, come on!

- [doorbell rings]
- Hey, boy.

Let me see that video.

[chuckles]

- Hey, hey, don't touch it
with your hook.

- I'll touch it with my hook.
[chuckles]

- ♪

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where are you going?

- To the mall.
- And does Mom and Dad know?

- Yeah.

- No, they don't.

- Yes, they do.
Which... mind your own business.

- Are you going to see... him?

- Philip.
- No, for real, how old is he?

- Look, I'm going
to the mall, okay?

- And is he gonna be there?

- Again, mind your own business.

- I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad.

- No, you're not.

- Yes, I am.

- I got stuff on
you, and you won't.

- Don't you see Grandpa
back there looking?

- He can't hear nothing.

- Sandra...
- No.

Bye, loser.

- Sandra!

- Bye-bye.

- You don't even know him!

- I will be back in one hour.

- Sandra!

Fine! I'm coming too!

- Them damn kids think
I can't hear.

What a little fat a*s.

- ♪

- What kind of family is this?

- The kind that won't pick
up bull, that's what kind.

- You got such a nasty mouth.

- And you've got a nasty face.

- My goodness.
Would you two stop it?

- You better get your daddy.

- I ain't her daddy.
You're her daddy.

- It's already been established
that I am not her daddy.

- Is that so?

- You know what, Brown?
- No, I don't know what.

Tell me.

- Chicken butt.
Take your time and lick it up.

- Would you two stop it?

You could've k*lled him.

- Cora, ain't nobody
gonna k*ll him.

I wasn't doing but


- 75?
- Yes.

And he was slimy,
and he just ehhh...

Slid right off the car.

- I hope he's okay.

- Cora, quit lying.
- What you mean?

- You didn't even
wanna help the boy!

- Well, he had
sewage all over him.

What was I supposed to do?

- Cora, what was
you supposed to do?

- Yeah!
- You done took that class.

- What?

- You could've slid him over and
cleared his mouth of debris...

and then just... do it like...

- No, no. No, no.

If I had to do all that,
he was gonna be dead.

- Cora.
- CORA: What?

- I taught you better than that.
I thought you was a Christian.

- I am a Christian.

- Well, what would Jesus do?

- He would've told
him to take a bath.

Or made it rain
and washed him down.

Cleaned him up.
- Cora, you... you don't talk

about my Lord like that.

You know He don't...
The Lord don't be...

- I...
- You know He ain't gonna...

- I'm talking
about natural rain.

What you talkin' about?
What you know about that?

- Oh! Oh, I thought
you was talking about

one of them naked clubs.
- What you...

- They be doing that
at the naked clubs.

- Come on.
- Don't... don't worry about him.

He's been hit by a car before.

- Really?

- I hit him twice.

- Was it a accident?

- Well, he was running
off at the mouth, right?

- Uh...

- And so I... I ran over him.

And then I backed the car
up and ran over him again.

- See? That's what
happened with me.

- He was three.

- You're just cruel.
- That is terrible.

- Don't say it's mean, now.

- Well, I wasn't gonna say that.

It just sounds like my momma.

She would've shot first
and asked questions never.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

- Now, don't act like
you don't know that.

- Well, I don't.
- You should.

That's your baby momma.

- Is not my...
- You are the father.

- Not the father.

- That is not my father.
- Yes, he is.

- He is not. You're my daddy.

- Oh! Don't let him in here!

- He's clean!

- Are you sure?

- We went down to that creek.

- Grandpa, you ain't
have to lock the door.

- You smell like hell.

- Ooh, are you okay, sweetheart?

- Yeah.

- What is that?

- That's him!

- You stink.

- Get him out of here.
Get him on out of here.

- He is hurt, Grandpa.

- I'm fine.

- Baby, you got hit by a car.

- No, no, no, no.
I was kind of slimy.

So when he hit me, I just... err!

I just slid off.

- I told... I told y'all.

- I'm okay, I'm okay.
Just chill. I'm alright.

- Mr. Brown, don't you have
something to say to him?

- Yeah. You stink!

- Mr. Brown!
- Cora, that boy need a bath.

He need to be dipped in bleach.

- Would you stop it?

- [stutters] Well, okay...
- Come on, come on!

- I'm sorry for hitting you
or running over you allegedly.

That's what you say

so people won't try
to come back and sue you.

- It's okay.

- Cora, let's go.

- Wait, wait, wait. Ah, ah, ah.

- Ooh, ooh.

- Where y'all going?
- Home!

- Mr. Brown...

- I don't want to stay around
with you smelling like that.

We'll wait. You stink!

- Come on!
- Okay, Cora.

What... [clears throat]

- Mr. Brown has something
he want to tell you.

- Thank you, Cora, like
I couldn't tell myself.

- You're welcome.

Go on and tell him.

- Cor... let me... let me take my
time and tell him, yeah?

Don't rush me.

You know I don't
like to be rushed.

- Okay, you're right, you don't.
- Don't rush me then.

If you know I don't like it,
why you do it?

I don't understand why people
do something

they know you don't like,
then they turn around and do it.

- I apologize. I'm sorry.

- Thank you.
- Go ahead.

- I like to take my time and
do stuff 'cause I'm slow,

like dark chocolate
trickling out of a...

- Like chocolate that
was all over him! [laughs]

- No, Grandpa!
- Okay.

What me and Cora came by here
to tell y'all and let y'all know

is we have decided... - Mm-hmm.

-... to be business parts!

- You... you mean partners.

- Cora, don't correct me.

- You said business parts.
- I know.

Why are you trying
to embarrass me in front...

- I'm not trying to embarrass...

- Let me say what I want to say.

- Okay.

- Okay, I'ma do like on
that... that... that show, uh,

"Fish Tank."

- I think it's a shark.
- Okay.

Okay, for $40,000,
Cora and I have decided

that we would like...

we gonna be fair here...



- Get his monkey a*s outta here.

- Mr. Vinny, watch your mouth!

And that is not what
we talked about!

- Cora, you know what?

I'm walking away from
the negotiating table.

Look at me walk.

Stop me from walking.

You want me to stay...

- Mr. Brown...
- [snap]

- It stung hard on my back.

It stung.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- What look like this is?
"12 Years a sl*ve"?

- I'm sorry.
- Kunta Kinte.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- Okay! Alright.
I'm going to be fair.



- As I said before,

get his monkey a*s outta here.

- Mr. Lenny, watch your mouth!

- Vinny.
- Vi... Vinny.

- My name is Vinny.

- CORA: Oh.
- Vinny with a hook.

- I'm sorry, Vinny with a hook.
I got it.

- Cora, you gonna have to

let me show you
my negotiating skills...

or else I'ma have to
leave the negotiating table.

That's it.
- Well, I'm not at a table.

- Hush! I'm trying
to get out of here

before the stink k*ll us all!

- Go ahead and tell 'em.

- Today is my final
and best offer.



- Mr. Brown, we offered you


- I'ma say it like
they say on the show.

For that reason, I'm out.

I'm out. - Okay, bye.

- Bye?
- Bye.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye-bye.

- Now, you're not gonna start
that NSYNC concert again!

- Well, that's it!

It's the third time.

Please get his

monkey rainbow a*s outta here.

- Mr. Vinny!

- Grandpa!
- No. Hell, no.

He trying to take
advantage of us.

- I ain't trying to
take advantage of you.

- He trying to
take advantage of us

like I took advantage
of your grandma.

- Let's just go talk about it.

- There ain't
nothin' to talk about.

- Just come on in
the other room.

- Oh, no, I'm not
going in the room

with you smelling like that.

- Come over here!
- No, no, no.

Why would I go in a smaller room

with you smelling like that,
son?

- Onion in a Ziploc bag.

- Smell like devil a*s.

- You smell like
hot dog weenie water.

- You smell like the
back of a earring.

- Ooh, that can be musty.

- Can... can y'all just stop?
Please?

Let's just offer them 50/50.

- As I said, for
the fourth time for him

and the very first time for you,

get your...
- Stop! Don't you say it!

- Outta here.

- Look, they have the money, and
we'll all do better together.

- How you know he
even have the money?

Look at his a*s. - What, what?

- Mr. Brown?
- Hmm?

- Do you have $40,000?

- Yeah.

- I wanna see it.

- Oh, it's at home
under my mattress.

- You got $40,000
in your mattress?

- Mm-hmm.

- What's your address?

- My address is 5856...

- Mr. Brown...

- No, Cora, I got it, I got it.

You might want to get
something to write this down.

- No, I hear you. I'm listening.

- 5856 come over here,
you're gonna meet Jesus.

It's on the corner of I
Ain't No Stupid Fool Avenue.

You think... - I'ma k*ll his a*s!

- [indistinct arguing]

- ♪

- Alright, uh, what
about a 50/50 split?

- That sound like
a good deal to me.

- Let's shake on it.

- Uh, let's wait on it.

- I gotcha. I understand that.
Yeah.

- Cora, I don't think we
should do no 50/50 split.

If I'ma do anything,

I want it split right
down the middle equally.

- That is 50/50.

- Fine!

- And Grandpa Vinny?

- Fine.

- Well, we in business
together and I love it.

- Okay, alright, Grandpa.

Uh, you and
Mr. Brown shake on it.

- Really?

- Hook on it.

- Hook it up.

- Mr. Brown,
stop pulling on the man!

- I was trying to...
Cora, it's got me caught.

- [screaming]

- He got a hand!

- Cora, he's just falling apart!

- I knew you was faking it!

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪