01x08 - Swimming With Fishes

[bunniefuu]

- This is your daddy!
- I'm not her daddy!

- That man is not my daddy.
- I ain't got nothing to say.

- You will when Dana get here.
- Who in the hell is Dana?

- D-N-A. And you taking
a pregnancy test.

- My life is over.

My generation,
we don't live like this.

- So you guys want us
to invest in this place?

- We're thinking it's
gonna cost $40,000.

- Cora, you know this place
could probably be a big,

old headache.

- You have to see
the beauty of it.

- This could be
a great investment.

- We'll do it, under one
condition: you get a Dana test.

- Ain't no damn way.

- ♪

- Morning, scrubs.

- Is it? Do you even believe
that?

- Yes, I do,
it's a great morning.

- How can it be?
We're still here.

- Alright. At least I got
the WiFi on.

- Barely.

- It's time for you all to get
y'all asses up and go to school.

We 'bout to get you
all registered, okay?

Come on.

- Oh. wow.

- What?

- I mean, it's probably little
red school house on the hill.

Can't you just send like a
telegram on a horse or something

and tell them we're coming?

- We have to give
this place a chance.

We're gonna be living here now.

Come on.

- She went
to the mall yesterday.

- Okay. And what happened?

- Well, let's just say every
store is closed except for one.

- Well, I mean, look.

At least it's one store open.

Did you find something
nice for school?

- It was a Big,
Old, and Tall store.

Nothing but flannel...
itchy stuff.

And boots.

Nothing fit me.

- Alright, well,
look, please, baby.

Let's just try to
make this work, okay?

- I am trying, okay?

- Okay, alright.

Alright, now y'all go
get ready for school.

You're gonna have
a great day, okay?

Thank you. - SANDRA: Sure.

Come on, Philip.

Let's go brush our teeth with
bottled water and spit

right in the bucket that's
supposed to be a sink.

Oh, how I love it here.

Oh, Miss Scarlett.

Miss Scarlett, wait for me!

- Yeah, she's so dramatic.

- Yeah.

Hey, it's not that bad.

- Honey?
- Hmm?

- It's that bad.

- Yeah, this sh*t is horrible.

We gotta get the water on.

- Yes, immediately.

- Did you hear from Cora?

- No.

- Alright, well, maybe you
should give her a call.

- Okay, well, I don't
wanna look too desperate.

- Honey.
- Hmm?

- Hate to break it to you,
but we, uh, are desperate.

Beyond desperate.

- Okay.

I'll call them today.

- Okay. Please.

- Alright, but look.
- Hmm?

- If they say no...

- Mm-hmm.

-... just brace yourself, okay?

- Okay, alright.
- Alright.

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

- Alright, yeah.

Baby, look at me.

This is braced.

- Okay.

- But you think
they gonna say no?

- I don't know, honey.

- They gotta say yes.

- I know.
- Mm-hmm.

I gotta get some water in here.

- I know, 'cause our
kids can only eat cereal.

- We never cook hot
food for 'em no way.

You know we always getting
nuggets and stuff.

- Baby, it's the
thought that counts.

- I love you.
- Mm-hmm.

I love you, too. - Mm-hmm.

- With your broke a*s.
- Hey!

You like this broke a*s.

Lord, please let them say yes.

[cries]

- ♪

{\an8}♪ No matter what you do,
I love you ♪

{\an8}♪ No matter where you go,
I'm behind you for sure ♪

{\an8}♪ Always remember, blood
ain't ever water ♪

{\an8}♪ We'll make it if
we stay together ♪♪

- ♪

- Ooh, you look nice.

- Mom.

- What? You do.

- Wait, you really like this?

- Yes.

- Then I know I need to change.

- Not nice.

- Well, you know living
here ain't nice either.

- You know what? [laughs]

You will find
some new friends at school,

I promise you.

- I'm not gonna find
anyone I like here.

- Okay.

Don't be like that, alright?

- No, no, no.

Did you see the people
at the mall yesterday?

They're like the flannel
Children of the Corn.

They don't know nothing
about no fashion.

- Give it a chance, okay?

- I did give it a chance.

I'm still here, right?

- Lil girl, I mean really, okay?

I'm trying to let
you be your own adult,

but mama will throw
down with you, alright?

- Okay, whatever that means.

- Come on, let's go.

- Oh, you see?

You should be just
like your brother.

Has such a great attitude.

- You didn't hear
him this morning.

- What he saying?
- And I should be like him?

[laughs] He's a loser
and a mama's boy.

- Ooh. [laughs]

That is not nice.

- And you push me again, you
gonna be outside

pushing up daisies.

I don't care if
you're my daughter.

I will go to jail gladly.

- And you say I'm dramatic.

- It's okay she
called me a loser, Mom.

I'm used to it.

- It's still not nice.

- Yeah, well, she's
having a hard time.

I mean, she acts like a child.

- Wait, what he say? Who... who is
he talking about?

- Who else would
I be talking about?

- Um... you do realize
you're the youngest, right?

- Yeah, but I'm a man.

- Don't...

- What?
- Don't do that. Hmm-mm.

- I mean, you know
how women are so...

- Uh-uh.

-... dramatic.

- Philip.
- What?

- You're about to...
- Get us k*lled?

- Right.

- Are they looking at us?

- You know they looking at us.

- I'm gonna just
go sit in the car.

- Yeah, smart man.

- You better run.

- BOTH: We gotta
talk about your son!

- Lil girl.

- I'm going.

- 'Cause he ain't gonna be
talking to me like that, okay?

- Okay.
- No, no, he better stop that.

And I mean that. - Right.

- sh**t.
- Look.

Listen. - Boy. Ha.

- Hey.

You want me to take them to
school and get them registered?

- No.

I'm sorry, baby. No, you know
what I want you to do?

I... I... I want you...

I want you to get the water
running in this place.

- Did you call Cora?

- No, but I will call her and
Mr. Brown when I get...

your kids settled.

- Okay, okay.

- Baby?
- Hmm?

- I need you to get
the water running.

- Okay.
- Smell that.

See? It's like...

- This one worse.

- Water.
- JEREMY: Okay.

- Please.

- I will, I will, okay?

Kids!

Love y'all!

- [laughs] Boy, you
don't love them damn kids.

- Will you stop it?

- I can tell by the way
you look at 'em.

- I love my kids.

- Well, that's a first.

- What you mean?

- Didn't nobody love you or
your water-a*s head daddy.

- Grandpa, how could he
be water-a*s and head?

- It was amazing.

- Look, I don't know
what you talking about,

I was loved in this family.

- [laughing] By who?

- Grandma.

- [laughs] And you
believe that sh*t?

- Alright, alright,
are you done?

- I could go all night.

So could your grandma.

- I don't wanna hear about that.

What's... what you doing
with the toolbox?

- I'm about to
fix the water, boy.

- You 'bout to
fix the water boy?

- No, I'm about to
fix the water... boy.

- Nah, nah, nah, you
need to let me do that.

- You don't know sh*t
about fixing sh*t.

- Well, more than
you apparently.

- And... and what the... what
the hell that mean?

- Look at this place.

- I mean, what about it?

- I mean, you've been here for
months, and it's still a mess.

- Well, sh*t, I've been busy.

- Busy doing what?

You're here by yourself.

- See, the problem with you is,
you have no idea what it takes

to be a farmer here in Colorado.

- For the last time,
we are not in Colorado.

We are in Georgia.

And I'm about to cut that
sh*t down in the backyard.

- [laughing]

Ooh, boy, you cut that sh*t down
if you want to.

You will be buried under
some good a*s weed.

- Come, come on.
We gotta fix the water.

- Okay.
- I'll help.

- Let me see your hands.
- What?

- Let me see your hand.

- For what? Why?

- Let me see your damn hands.

- Here, man.

- Just as I thought.

- You can't feel
my hand with a hook.

- It's sensitive.

- Well, what'd
you think, Grandpa?

- I think you ain't never
held a tool in your life, boy.

Not even your p*nis.

- Why... why you gotta be
nasty all the time, man?

Everything is nasty with you.

What's wrong with you?

I have held tools.

- Oh, boy, I ain't talking
about that kind of tool.

- Stop.

Stop it.

- Look, I'm just saying, boy.

You don't know nothing
about power tools.

These is power tools.

These is tools that mens use.

The only thing you know
how to push is a pencil.

- Can you just let me help?

- Alright, let
see what you know.

Give me a... yeah, look in there
and give me a pipe wrench.

- Alright, pipe wrench.

- Pipe wrench.

- Cool, that ain't nothing.

- Pipe wrench.

- Alright, uh...

- Pipe... pipe wrench.

- Here you go.

- Damn it, boy that
is not a pipe wrench.

- Oh you... oh, you
want the pipe wrench.

- Yeah, pipe wrench.

- My bad, I thought you
said a regular wrench.

Here we go.

There you go.

- [laughs] What the hell?

That is not a wrench.

That's not a pipe wrench, boy.

- Oh.
- Pipe wrench.

- Okay.

[groans]

There it is.

- Well, I'll be damned,
that is not even a wrench.

Ah, hell. - What?

- This is not gonna work out.
- What do you mean?

- Look, if you can't look in
the box and pull out a damn

wrench, how the hell
you gonna help me?

- I did pull out a wrench.
I pulled out three of them.

- Boy, you pulling
no damn wrench!

- You know what I'm gonna do?
- What?

- I'm gonna take my nice
fingers... and I'm gonna use it

and call somebody
to come help us.

- Ah, hell.

- I'm calling.

- And with what money?

- Don't worry about that.

Let's... let's get an
estimate, at least.

- Right, well, you go
ahead and do that.

- I will.

- Okay, and you better have
some money to pay his a*s

when he get over here.
- Okay, alright, I got this.

- That boy ain't
got no damn sense.

Soft-a*s hands
and no damn brain.

- Hi. Yeah, is this
the repairman?

- Who the hell call and
ask if this is a repairman?

- Yeah, um, we have
some water issues here.

- The sh*t don't work!

Say that.

- The sh*t don't work.

- There you go.

- ♪

- [knocking at door]

- [doorbell rings]
- Hey. How you doing?

- Hi. Are you...
- Yeah, Jeremey.

What's up, man?

- Yeah, you called
about some repair work.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on in, come on.

- Oh. I know this place.

- Oh yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, I used to do
some of the work here.

- Really?
- Mm.

- So, okay, you're
familiar with the place.

Good, good. - Yep.

Phew.

- Okay, well, what
do you need to do?

- Well, what you trying to do?

- I'm trying to get it reopen.

- [laughs]

It's gonna cost you.
- What do you mean?

- You understand what I said?

It's going to cost you!

- I guess we could take off
money for the sprinklers.

Uh, but... but how
much is what I mean.

- Do you mean what do
you mean or how much?

- Brother, brother, you are
confusing the hell out of me.

How much to open this place up?
Just tell me.

- Oh, sure, I can.

Uh...

you bought this place?

- Kinda, yeah.

- Okay.

Oh, I was here before, and
this old man came at me...

- Old man?

- Yeah, his name was Vinny
or something like that.

- Oh, really? Okay.

- Man, he threatened to k*ll me.

- Nah.

Vinny? Vinny?
No, Vinny's a sweet guy.

Why... why would he do that?

- 'Cause I told him how much it
would cost to fix this place.

- Mm.

Oh, oh, oh.

So you have an estimate already?

- Yes, I do.

- Okay.

Can I see it?

- Oh, that was from
a couple months ago.

Mm-hmm, and so, uh, it
looks like it's got worse.

Looks like things going up.

- Well, uh, can you look at
it and tell me what you think?

- Yeah, sure, I can.

- Okay.

Great, thanks.

- Oh, I'm glad that
old man not here.

He about as mean as a snake.

- What the hell
is he doing here?

- Grandpa.

- That's your grandpa?

- Yeah, this is my grandpa.

- Oh, hell no, I'm out.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Come on, man, please,
just give me an estimate.

- Oh, I've got your estimate.

It's called high as hell.

- Will you please?

- Is he gonna threaten
to k*ll me again?

- No, you good, man.

- It ain't gonna be a threat.

I'm gonna k*ll your a*s.

- Will you?

Will you just take... just take
a look, man, please, okay?

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- But keep him on a leash.

- [laughs] Leash?

I've got your leash right here.

- Okay.

Why you gotta be so
damn mean to everybody?

- I'm not mean.

Call it being protective.

- Well, you ain't helping.

- Look, that man
is a damn thief.

- Grandpa.

- I know him.

I know his damn daddy, know
his uncle, know his mama,

know his auntie.

And the whole damn family
ain't worth a damn.

They no good.

- We just trying
to get an estimate.

We not dating his family. Relax.

- Oh, speak for yourself.

His sister fine.

Big ol' a*s.

They ain't gotta do her.

I mean, she...

- Grandpa, Grandpa.

- ...and I would laser pipe
on her... what, what, what?

- Okay, stay focused.

- Why the hell would
you do that anyway?

I told you I could
fix all of this.

- Like you fixed the kitchen?

- Boy, it's a work in progress.

- Just hear the man out.

- The hell with it.
I'm out of here.

- Where are you going?
- To get my bag.

- Okay, what bag?

- Look, how long... you know what?

Let his a*s look around.

See what you can do.
But you know what?

He's a crook. - [doorbell rings]

- His whole damn
family is a crook.

And I know how to
deal with crooks.

- Alright, well, you go do that.

- Hey, babe.
- Hey!

- Hey. What did I walk in on?

- I'm sorry, babe.

- Oh. Whoo.

Yes. Okay.

What happened?

- Ah, no, no, it's
alright, baby, I got it.

- Okay, okay.

- I'm calm, I'm calm.
- Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Okay.

- Let me breathe.

- Now breathe out.

- [deep breath]
- Yes.

- [grunts]

How'd it go at school, babe?

- Well.

- What happened?
- Alright,

I got the kids registered.

- Mm.
- Yes.

- Okay.

- You sure you're okay?

- My man... na, I'm alright.

- Okay, baby. Whose truck is
that outside?

- It's the,
uh... it's the plumber.

- [gasps] My gosh, we have
water.

Whoo, we have water!
- Wait, wait.

- We have water. Huh, what?

- Just not so fast, okay?
- Why not?

- We're waiting for
the estimate first.

- Okay.

- Did you call the Browns?

- I did.

- And?

- I left a message.

- Alright. Man, alright, okay.

I hope they help us.

- VINNY: I don't
need no damn help.

- How can he hear us
all the way in here?

You see?

That's what I've been
dealing with all day.

That's why I yelled at
you when you came in.

- Okay.
- That's my bad.

You know Gramps.

- You know, Gramps, this could
be a really nice place

with a little love behind it.

- VINNY: The hell
you yelling for?

I can hear you.

- ♪

- ♪

- What's taking him so long?

- Oh, ssh, ssh.

Here he go... here he go.

- Oh, damn, he got that
doom look on his damn face.

- [clears throat]

- So?

- It's bad.
- See? See? I told your a*s.

I told... no, I told you.

- How... how bad?

- Well, I mean, if you
gonna redo them bathrooms,

it's gonna cost you $9,000.

- What?

- Get him.

- Boy.
- Grandpa!

- Get... $9,000?

Get your monkey a*s out of here.

I'll fix it my damn self.

- Why so much?

- Well, you're gonna
need some new plumbing.

You got the septic
tank, gotta add that.

And you gonna have to...

- Let me tell you
something, boy.

I can't stand y'all clown-a*s
people coming up in here,

trying to rip old people off.

Get your a*s out of here.

- Grandpa, enough.

- He still here?
Get out of here!

- You know what? Thank you.

We'll... we'll call you. - Okay.

Well let me know something soon,
'cause it only gonna get worse.

- I wanna k*ll him.

- Pops.
- No, I want him m*rder*d.

- You are not a gangster.
What are you talking about?

- I was a big time
gangster in Chicago.

- Yep, here we go.

- How the hell you
think this happened?

Look, back in the day, I
would've made a call...

One call... taken
his monkey a*s out.

He'd be swimming
with the fishes.

- Grandpa... why your granddaddy
think he's a gangster?

- Don't think I was a
gangster, I was a gangster.

The other one had two hands.

I was hard.

I was h*-o-ood.

And I can fix all this sh*t in
here myself... if it kills me.

- Yeah.

Hope that's sooner than later.

- VINNY: I heard that.

- Well, we know there ain't
nothing wrong with his hearing!

- VINNY: Nothing wrong
with my foot either!

- Oh!

- VINNY: It'll reach you
to kick you in your a*s.

- Okay, that's enough.

Grandpa Capone.

- Kicking somebody a*s?
- I don't know.

- What are we gonna do?

- Pray for a miracle.

- Yeah, well, I hope that
miracle is in Mr. Brown.

- That's a colorful miracle.

But we'll see.

Now, until then...

this is a wrench.

- ♪

- ♪