03x03 - The lies we believe

[bunniefuu]

Sebas? What are you doing here?

Hi, Lucia.

What...

I heard my ex is getting married.

It was announced on national television.

I didn't even know
you were seeing someone.

I swear, I was going to tell you, okay?

The story was leaked.

And, after all we've been through,
discussing these things isn't easy.

This is a little more difficult for me.

Obviously, yes...

Okay, well, we met on Instagram,
and it just happened.

Things don't "just happen," Lucia.

-I don't know. We just clicked.
-"Clicked"?

-What are you, safety belts?
-We both want the same things in life.

But this was supposed to be our wedding.

There's no point in fantasizing about it.

I always wonder
what our lives would've been like.

What happened? Wasn't I enough?

Yes, but people change. Feelings change.

And we meet our fates at different times.

What do you see in him?

Is he smarter? More fun?
Better looking? Richer?

-Is his bigger?
-Sebas!

Yes, it's a little of everything you said.

I'm just teasing you.

We have to move on with our lives.
We'll be fine.

Now, since you're here,

wait.

For you.

MR. SEBASTIÁN YBARRA GASPAR

HOW TO SURVIVE BEING SINGLE

Listen, don't you want to do
dirty things to me?

-What?
-What are you doing here?

What is it?

She was having nightmares.
I didn't want to wake you.

Daddy, what are "dirty things"?

-What? What did you say?
-Nothing.

-I'm wet.
-Mafer.

No, I'm telling you, I'm wet.

-Dad, are you going to scold me?
-No, of course not.

I'll get a towel.

Okay.

Sebas, this is your second cake.
Stop eating so much.

Don't ever touch me when I'm eating.

Fine, then do whatever you want.

On top of that, she said,
"You're my special guest." What?

She's moving on,
just like you're trying to.

-So, she's getting married. So what?
-That should've been my wedding.

Stop it.

We only tried to make you undesirable
to get you away from Samantha.

-I'll bite you.
-Sorry.

He's right.

Besides getting fat,
you're turning into a loser

who idealizes past relationships
and can't move forward.

Enough, stop mocking him.

Listen, Sebas,
do you still have feelings for Lucia?

-Yes or no?
-No, I'm just kind of shocked.

I'd been working through it all,
trying to get over her,

but now, I'm questioning things.

You need to get to the bottom
of your emotional issues,

discover the root cause,
heal your inner child.

Did Tony Robbins brainwash you?

No, it's what Peralta says.

She's a sexologist and psychologist
I follow online. Look.

I've heard of her. She's renowned.

Finding your true self isn't easy.

How can you find a healthy relationship
when you're destructive with yourself?

-Okay.
-Okay.

Would you sleep with someone wearing this?

-Maybe in the '90s...
-I would.

-Thanks, Fish.
-But Fish would sleep with anybody.

MAFER:
How do you do the 3D embossing?

WILL: It's easier if we talk about it:
+57[1]3412364

-Hi, Mafer.
-Hi.

So, go to Tools, Emboss.

Set the gradient overlay to 83.

Choose the back layer, and that's it.

-Right, it was so obvious!
-No, no.

-Not really.
-Okay.

Excuse me.

{\an8}Listen, Clarita's going to a festival
next week.

{\an8}She'd like you to make her a costume.

{\an8}-Me?
-Yes, she'd be so happy.

{\an8}-Okay, sure.
-Perfect!

{\an8}-I'll see you tonight?
-Yes, see you later.

-Okay, bye.
-Bye.

I think that's all.

Okay, that'll be $120.

I'll send the money over PayPal.
Give me your code.

I'm kidding.
I'm just trying to get to know you better.

Thanks for your professional advice.

We're going to have a great time.
Eat delicious food, swim in the pool.

And you also brought candy.

It'll be fantastic!

You haven't said a word since we left.
What's wrong?

I'm nervous.

What if this is Restaurant m*ssacre
Part Two: k*ll Fabiana?

Relax, this weekend will be perfect.

-They're gonna love you.
-Will you dump me if they don't?

Then it's their problem.

We came here to have a good time,
and we will.

-Okay?
-Okay.

It'll be a quiet weekend
with my parents and Caro.

-Caro's so cool.
-Yes, she's great.

If we get bored,
we'll smoke weed, just relax.

-Why are you nervous?
-I'm not.

-Hey, Dad!
-Why are you so late?

Didn't you take the expressway?
Don't you have an expressway pass?

-Hi, son.
-Hi, Mom.

-Hi.
-Hi.

I hope you like strong cheeses.

-Yes.
-Everyone's already here.

-Lots of traffic!
-We should get him a pass.

-We'll be right there.
-Yes.

-Who's "everybody"?
-Waiters, I assume.

It's a good start.
They're serving strong cheese.

-How do you eat strong cheese?
-Like Oaxaca cheese but smells stronger.

Hey, Magda, do you remember
when they used to play doctor?

-Fabiola?
-Fabiana.

-Lourdes used to be Gonzalo's girlfriend.
-Cut it out.

Remember when we discovered them
under the sheets?

-Listen, Fabiola...
-Fabiana.

Lourdes sings. She dances.

-She speaks 10 languages.
-Four, actually.

-She started a foundation in Honduras.
-It's online.

-And she's a lacrosse expert.
-Online, too.

I'm very impressed.

What do you do, Fabiola?

-Fabiana.
-Yes, Fabiana.

I also have many interests.

I have a podcast. I'm a psychologist.
I'm a good friend.

Basically, I'm a freelancer.

Okay, Miss CEO.

Mom and Dad, can I speak to you?

You speak Latin?

-I learned a little at my Catholic school.
-Catholic school?

Yes.

You knew Fabiana was coming,
and you invited the Corcueras?

We can't invite our friends over?

No, Dad,
this is about decency and respect.

What does it matter, Gonzalo?

You promised to make an effort
to give Fabiana a warm welcome.

Relax, we even brought out
an assortment of strong cheeses.

-She ate them all.
-She must've been really hungry.

She sees, she eats.

Very well. What brings you here?

I feel like my love life
has hit rock bottom.

-Right.
-More like loveless life.

I'll give you a synopsis.

"When he realizes his girlfriend
of 10 years is cheating,

"and everyone knows,

"he seeks comfort
in the arms of an innocent girl,

"who dies tragically in an accident
after saying she loves him.

"As he's trying to rebuild his life,

"Sebastián's blind to the fact

"that his colleague and best friend
is the perfect woman for him.

-"He realizes this after she left Mexico."
-No!

"He spirals into depression,

"and ends up with a psycho stalker

"in a toxic relationship."

And the girlfriend who cheated
invited me to her wedding.

I'll be alone forever.

And you didn't jump off a building?

Let's just say,

all I want is a healthy,
normal relationship.

Do you feel inadequate?

None of my relationships have worked.
Naturally, I assume something's wrong.

Maybe you put your partners
on unattainably high pedestals?

We all have false beliefs about ourselves.

These shape the image
we project to others.

Right.

And to uncover what they are,

we'll go back to the moments
you felt anxious in your sex life.

Come over here.

I didn't think I had feelings of anxiety
when it comes to sex.

I haven't had any complaints.

That's what they all say.

Look, everything stems from sex.

Close your eyes.

Can you remember
your first sexual experience?

My first sexual experience...

What are you doing?

I'm fingering you. Didn't you like it?

-Or was I too rough?
-That was my belly button.

You weren't even close.

It's much lower.

They nicknamed me Belly Button.

Been terrible
at picking up girls ever since.

That's the first lie you believed.

Starting a relationship trying to prove
you're a loser isn't healthy.

You know you're better than that.

The lies we tell ourselves
are the hardest to dispel.

I doubt the girl thought you were a loser.

You're not the first or the last
to finger a belly button.

So, I have to make peace with the past
in order to move forward in the future.

Ever since I was a child, I...

Hey...

That's the end of our session.

But you know what?
I'd like you to read this book.

It's mine. A bestseller.

Don't Tell Yourself Lies, They Hurt.
It's a great book.

Thanks, it's very kind of you.

With the book, that'll be 3,370 pesos.
You can pay outside.

Right.

-It's a good thing we switched dealers.
-He got 15 years.

Poor guy,
we should send him something in prison.

Nuts with chocolate?

-Caro, what the hell?
-Don't look at me.

Mom, I reserved the pool
so that Fabiana and I could be alone.

-Your 15 minutes are up.
-So what?

Let's go over the plans
for the Torres Decathlon.

There'll be hiking, biking,
hunting and archery.

The winner will take home

the full line of GamaLife Cero products.

Bravo!

No relaxing workout?

In my family, we always need
some kind of physical activity

to drown out our feelings
of anxiety and depression.

And I assume we all have to participate?

-Well, no...
-This is for you.

Good luck.

-No, but yes.
-But yeah.

On your marks!

-Ready?
-What? Is this like an obsession?

-I told you!
-Get set!

-There's not even...
-Go! Fabiana!

Jump! One more. Jump!

Gonzalo, I'm not a dog!

Go up! Up!

Nice job, Fabiana!

And the winner is Lourdes! Great job!

-Bravo!
-She won already?

-Nice job, Lourdes!
-That's it, go!

-Hello.
-Hi.

How are you? A pleasure.

-I'm well, and you?
-Good, thanks.

The others aren't here yet.

Would you like a drink?
We don't need to wait for them.

Okay, sure.

Two Moscow mules, please.

Who said I wanted a Moscow mule?

I can tell just by looking at your hands.

All right, what else can you see?

Nothing. I saw your empty glass,
so I thought, "Why not?"

-Sharp eye!
-I can also see it in your eyes and smile.

-You read people's eyes, too?
-Yes.

-So?
-I see you liked my joke.

-More or less.
-Yeah.

-You write them down first?
-I come prepared. I was in my car...

-Hey, girl!
-Hey, girl!

-Inés, this is Daniel. Daniel, Inés.
-Inés!

-Inés.
-Diana's told me so much about you.

Finally, you two get to meet.

-Hey, sweetie.
-Honey!

I'm sorry,
the dentist took longer than expected.

-Hey, partner.
-How are you?

Glad you could make it.

-Do you have any dogs?
-What?

I have eight. Look.

Yeah, she has eight. Eight.

They look so sweet.

-Are you looking?
-Yes, I am.

-Look at that costume.
-Six, yeah.

DANIELA BAEZ - Hi. I'm Sebastián
from high school. Remember me?

That's the difference
between a Yorkie and a Great Dane.

And if it's like...
That's more like a Chihuahua.

-They're from further north.
-Yes, you're right.

I never thought of it that way.

-It's a gift. You have it or you don't.
-Yes.

You must think I'm strange.

-No.
-No!

But I knitted you something.

-She knits beautifully.
-I'm not surprised she did.

So cute!

Look at that!

-Should I...
-Come on, it's for you.

It looks great on you.

Ready? Look at me.

Come on, give us a bark.

Try this.

-Chirpier.
-Yes, chirpier.

More.

He's not very good at this.

Come to the window

My treasure

Come to console...

Fabiana, I'm getting more wine
and anisettes. I can't stand this.

-You want something?
-The same.

I want to die

before your eyes

I want to die

Why be part of this crazy family?

For the inheritance, obviously.

You know, they're testing you.
Don't let them get to you.

Well, I mean,
I'm a psychologist. I can manage.

-Bravo!
-I love you, kid.

-Bravo.
-Love you.

-How about a joint?
-Yeah.

-Thanks for the great match.
-I'm sorry.

She's been nagging Diana
to introduce her to a decent guy.

You're a decent guy!

I was glad to play the guinea pig.

Just make sure the next girl
isn't obsessed with spiders.

-They terrify me.
-I promise.

-Thanks. I'll see you Monday.
-See you. Thanks.

-Take care. Enjoy your new hat.
-I'm off, man.

-Hello.
-Hi.

They make fruity drinks here?

-That looks refreshing.
-It's very good.

Can I sit?

-Yes, sure.
-Thanks.

-For our first fight...
-Who?

The first fight will be between...

Lourdes and Fabiana.

-You can do it!
-Go, Lourdes!

Could they have made it more obvious?

I know, they're acting like jerks.
But you can do this.

Destroy her, okay?

-Is it dangerous?
-No, go on.

-Go, Fabiana!
-Are you ready?

-No.
-Ready, right? You know the rules.

-No!
-Yes, you do. No cheating or foul play.

-Focus, Fabiana.
-Okay.

Good luck. Fight!

-Hey, watch it!
-Go, Fabiana!

-Come on!
-You have to hit her!

-Hit her!
-Smack her!

Let's just discuss this, okay?

We don't have to do this.
Let's talk and get to know each other.

That's it! It's over.

sh*t, are you all right?

-Are you hurt?
-Why didn't you hit her?

-Thanks for coming.
-You haven't changed at all.

Really?

The same as when you played
Peter Pan at school.

-Okay.
-But you were a disaster in phys ed.

You're right, I was awful.

Do you remember when we went to see
Catch Me If You Can at the movie theater?

-That was such a great movie.
-Really good, yeah.

-And...
-And?

Remember we made out?

I don't know if you realize this,
but it was my first time ever.

-No way.
-Yes, really.

We both know what happened.

What?

I fingered your belly button.

What?

Don't you remember? Your belly button.

Is that why you wanted to see me?

No, but let's just say,
I'm going to therapy,

and I'm revisiting childhood traumas.

Sorry, Sebas, I don't remember at all.

Really?

All these years, it's been haunting me.

You know? So, you have no memory of that.

No, but you know what I remember?

What?

During a lesson on the female anatomy,
you got an erection.

I didn't think anyone noticed.

I did.

-Sorry, sometimes, I can't control it.
-No, Sebas, it was really hot.

Yeah?

Yeah?

Try not to use your teeth so much.

Imagine you're a toothless granny.

-You don't like that circular motion?
-Yes, but not right now.

Okay.

That Adriana Lima cyborg
is pissing me off.

-I'm not angry, but, come on!
-You're so sexy when you're mad.

How can she be so perfect? My turn.

It doesn't matter.

No way, again?

Focus, relax, take your time.

-You did it!
-Yes!

Just like Legolas!

You put your heart into it, see?

-I told you!
-Exactly!

I was one with the arrow!

When you don't think about it,
it's like...

Oh, no!

Lourdes!

Lourdes, oh, my gosh!

-What's wrong with you?
-Sorry, it was...

Fabiana, you're disqualified
for bad conduct!

It went right through!

Dad!

It went through!

Call the ambulance.

Bring alcohol! And water!

When I got there,
I started flirting with her.

I was making jokes, and she was laughing.

After two minutes,
he shows up and ruins everything.

-She is his wife.
-No!

Yes!

Be very careful if you're getting involved
with a married woman.

I did it once. It was a disaster.

-She left me for my dad.
-I'd never touch my partner's wife.

I'm not some gorilla like you two.

What are you drinking? It stinks.

It's pure protein to build muscle.

Today, I got the worst blowjob of my life.

I think I might need stitches.

My worst blowjob
was from your grandma in Cuerna, remember?

Why are you so emotional?

I can't believe I tormented myself
over something so stupid.

I put Daniela on a pedestal.

You don't care
if we call you Belly Button?

-Belly Button's back!
-Not at all.

I've been working it out with Esther.
I read her book, now I'm fine. Done!

Please, give me her number. I need it.

I bet you haven't even
scratched the surface.

Don't ruin my day. I'm...

I'm cured.

I don't even know why I played along.

I'm always in control of my emotions.

I don't let things get to me.

I've been following Sadhguru.
I'm a different person now.

My parents would've driven Bhagavad crazy

and make him beat someone up.

It's the Torres effect, get used to it.

-But it went through her arm.
-You didn't do it on purpose.

Let me be very honest.

I was thinking
you'd be better off with her.

-Stop it, Fabiana, no...
-Your parents love her.

-Your families get along.
-So?

She looks like Irina Shayk. She's perfect.

There's no such thing as a perfect woman.

Except for Margot Robbie, but...

Shut up.

To me, you're the next best thing
to Margot Robbie.

Shut up. You'd never want to be
with an actress.

-What are you doing?
-What?

-I want you.
-I thought I told you.

We can't sleep together here.
It's forbidden. They're super strict.

Too bad.

Come on, I'm joking.

Let's be wild like animals.

Scream, so everyone can hear.

Go on, make me scream.

You were snoring louder
than Fish and Sebas together.

No, shut up.

Hi.

-Juice?
-Good morning.

She's really messed up. Poor thing.

It's nice to see you so well rested.

I just think it's a shame

Lourdes has to miss
her oboe concert in Zurich.

That's enough.
You've been rude to Fabiana all weekend.

-This ends right now.
-No.

-It's not necessary...
-Yes, it is.

Fabiana's my girlfriend,
and I'll always be on her side.

So, we're getting the f*ck out of here.

-Let's go.
-Well, then, sorry about the arrow.

Thanks for everything.
This is for Gonzalo. Enjoy. Thanks, bye.

We'll leave as soon as the rain stops.

She's such a lowlife.

You look amazing! I love it.

I was up sewing all night.

-Do you like it?
-I hate it.

What?

-I hate it!
-No, come on... All right.

-Wait, Clarita, how can I fix it?
-It's horrible. I hate it.

No, please, don't destroy it!

-You asked for a bee.
-No, I said I hate them.

You said you hated witches!

-You're ugly and deaf!
-What?

Don't insult deaf people. It's horrible!

-Like you!
-No.

-I don't understand.
-What's going on?

Are you okay? What happened, sweetie?

I hate this costume!

It's hideous. Look at this color.
It's ugly, isn't it?

-I sewed it by hand.
-Exactly.

We'll get you another one.
You can choose, right?

What's wrong, Mafer?

-Your daughter hates me.
-No.

Yesterday, the water. Today, her costume.

She's a kid. Don't take it personally.

It's fine, you have
your beautiful little family.

You'll be an entrepreneur.

Thanks for everything,
but I don't belong here. Okay?

Goodbye, unwanted motherhood.

-If you'll excuse me, goodbye.
-Mafer.

-Mafer.
-Take care, goodbye.

Why did Mafer leave?

WILL:
Okay if I follow you on social media?

What's wrong with them?
They think they're doing us a favor.

I won't come back here
for a very long time, is that clear?

I don't give a sh*t.
I didn't even want to come!

Look at you,

Mr. I-get-chlamydia,
defending his girlfriend.

Fabiana, I'll always defend you

from friends, family, whoever.

My chlamydia never fully cleared up.

I didn't get it twice. It was only once.

What? I was joking. Did you get it?

Yes, but it doesn't matter anymore.

WILL
VOICE MESSAGE

I didn't see it coming

When I met you

My life changed

You bring out the best in me

You make me happy

All I dream about is you

Of becoming more than just your friend

I'd give you everything
If only I could

Listen,

that's a very beautiful song
and a very beautiful voice.

You should enter a singing contest.

-Hello.
-Mafer, I'm so sorry.

That message was for my grandmother.
It's her birthday.

I sent it to you by mistake, sorry.

Well, it's still a beautiful song.

It's very nice.

Can I sing it to you in person?
I mean, live?

Only if you stop being so formal.

I didn't see it coming

When I met you

My life changed

You bring out the best in me

You make me happy

All I dream about is you

Of becoming more than just your friend

I'd give you everything
If only I could

What are you smearing all over your face?

It's snail slime.

They film in high-definition.
You don't want them to see your pores.

But why?

-Did you and Pedro make up?
-No.

We broke up.

Then why are you so happy?

Bachata makes everything better.

Don't be a jerk. I'm just asking. What?

It's like I unlocked the key
to my traumas.

I jerked off today, and I cried.

But I was feeling joy, not self-hate.

I'm learning to love myself,
one wank at a time.

Congrats, Sebas.

But I'd rather keep my demons locked up.

I have no idea what's lurking inside.

You didn't hold that one in!

They can disown me. I don't care.
They don't let me live my life!

You can't survive
without your inheritance! You'll die.

It's just talk. They'll never disown me.

If they do, I'll sue them.

What happened?

Gonzo had a fight
with his parents. They hate me.

And I beat Lourdes and managed to spear
her with an arrow.

Gonzalo, you have to resolve
your family issues.

Fabiana, accept that you'll never
be good enough for the Torreses.

Sebas, you've had one therapy session
and read half a self-help book.

Take it down a f*cking notch.

People like you are dangerous.

If you only knew the power of my mind.

What? Natalia's pregnant?

When did all the women in my life
decide to move on without me?

It's normal.

Hello, miss?

Yes, I need an appointment
to see Dr. Peralta. It's urgent.

-I didn't give her my name.
-No.

This is Sebastián Ybarra, thanks.

I'm fine, really.

I'm okay.

-I call dibs on the best room.
-No, it's mine.

Welcome to the house of pleasure.

Let's get started
with this season's first challenge.

You each have to choose
a partner for week one.

You have 10 seconds.

Your time starts now.

We're here now.

Are you together?

-Have a seat.
-What's your name?

-You're not playing, right?
-No.

It seems Fish is the first to lose
a TUBSS challenge.

You'll see. I'll be banging you all soon.

-What the hell?
-as*h*le.

It was a joke.
Only with consent and if you want.

I'd love to sleep with all the girls here.

-This guy's crazy, dude.
-Crazy guy.