02x11 - Jinx!/Let's Play Turnipball!

[bunniefuu]

- [upbeat music]
- [crowd cheering]

Gather round,
folks, gather round,

'cause this is the year Brighton
finally beats Perfektborg

at our own beloved
game of turnipball!

Because Brighton
has a secret weapon.

- A giant slingshot?
- The power of love.

- A robot with lasers?
- Me!

No, I give you
the Titan Of Turnipball,

The Rookie Of Root-based Sports,

The Swoop With The Alley Oop,

[imitates drumroll]

Ollie Chen!

- [dramatic music]
- [Ollie grunting]

[water burbling]

[turnip splats]

[car alarm blaring]

[crowd cheering]

Is that good or bad?

This game is really confusing.

The kid's a natural!

We might actually have a shot.

I declare this day Get
Your Hopes Up Too High Day!

[crowd cheering]

[tense music]

♪ Our time has finally come ♪

♪ We'll wash off
the stink of shame ♪

♪ For the first time
in Brighton history ♪

♪ We may actually win a game ♪

♪ Every year,
they dominate us ♪

♪ Shame our town,
humiliate us ♪

♪ That all ends today because
our secret weapon's here ♪

Aw, man,
that's a lotta pressure.

♪ This is Brighton's year ♪

- [man] This is Brighton's year!
- [crowd cheering]

Molly, I know this
will be our 25th time,

but can you go over
the rules again?

Ha, no need.
You're doing great, buddy!

♪ The whole world
writes us off ♪

♪ They say we're clumsy
and we're slow ♪

How dare they!

♪ Everybody
thinks we're losers ♪

But are we gonna lose today?

It's possible!

♪ We'll destroy 'em ♪

♪ We'll defeat 'em ♪

♪ What a joy
to finally beat 'em ♪

♪ Order tons of nonrefundable
victory souvenirs ♪

♪ 'Cause this is
Brighton's year ♪

♪ Thanks to our
rookie sensation ♪

♪ This is Brighton's year ♪

♪ No need to temper
expectations ♪

♪ Town morale is soaring ♪

♪ You just keep on scoring
'til the trophy's here ♪

♪ This is Brighton ♪

♪ This is Brighton's year ♪

OK, so I'm thinking I'm gonna
possess the players, OK?

I'm gonna make 'em all walk
around like a lot of drool,

think a lot of drool.

- Scratch, hey, look at me.
- Yeah.

No ghosty tricks this time.

I wanna beat these jerks
fair and square.

And then eat their pastries
with my mouth.

Besides, with Ollie on
our side, we can't lose!

Still don't
understand the rules!

Come on!

You can't keep a dynamo like
old Scratchy here on the bench.

[sighs] Look, I know
you wanna help,

but last time, it just went
a little off the rails,

so can you please promise me

you're not gonna possess any
of the players, or the coach?

I know what you're thinking.

Fine.

Or the turnipball.

Ah, take all the fun,
why don't ya?

- [horn honks]
- [bus rumbling]

- [ominous music]
- [cleats thudding]

[Principal O'Connor] Look at
those new fancy shmancy uniforms

with "no moth holes".

Syvertsson.

O'Connor.

And you must be
team captain Quinby?

Yah.
Kringle?

[choral music]

[gasps] Half pretzel,
half churro, all for Molly, ah!

Accept no gifts from the enemy!

This treat could be poisoned!

I can't believe I
almost fell for that.

How low will they stoop?

Eh, Molly and her rules.

[people laughing]

[upbeat music]

Hey, check it,
the meatball's eating me!

[camera clicks]

[groans]

Molly didn't say anything

about possessing
discarded mascot costumes.

[laughs]
I love a good loophole.

- [whistle trills]
- Let's play turnipball!

- [crowd cheering]
- Molly, what do I use here,

the golf club or the cricket bat
with the googly eyes?

Exactly!

Now go out there, and show
'em what Brighton's made of.

[crowd cheering]

- [whistle trills]
- Was that good?

That boy's got
some serious heat!

[upbeat music]

Dinner is served,
and meatball's on the menu.

Spa-ghett out
of the way, meatball.

Oh, boy, we got ourselves

an old-fashioned
mascot dance off!

[upbeat music]

[Scratch groaning]

[Bobby] Whoa,
that's gotta hurt...

- Ow.
- [Bobby] ...his ego.

[crowd laughing]

[tense music]

- [Ollie grunts]
- [Patty] What a save by Chen!

And the turnip didn't splatter,

so that's more
points for Brighton!

Ooh, you absolute dreamboat!

We're up 17 to four!

I can see that golden turnip
in our trophy case now.

Can you see it?
Tell me you can see it!

Molly, I have no idea
what I'm doing.

[vuvuzelas blaring]

- Uh, what's happening?
- [whistle trills]

Ah, that's the purple card
for the hotshot rookie.

Now he's gotta cool his
heels in the penalty box.

Everyone has
to freeze and be silent

when you hear the vuvuzelas!

I don't even know
what a vuvuzela is!

With Brighton's boy
wonder out of commission,

you can be sure Perfektborg
will take full advantage.

[wonky music]

[Molly grunts]

[rooster crows]

[Patty] Well,
c*ck-a-doodle-darn.

That's the signal for
seventh half-time.

Those Perfektborgians
are too perfect!

Ah! And it stinks!

[sniffing] Wait... [sniffs]

that's not the stink
of perfection.

[sniffing] It's... Hmm.

[crunching]

Flaky crumbs delicately
drizzled with sugar?

This is kringle!

Those beautiful bullies

have been sneaking
around our locker room!

[gasps] You think they
might be...

- cheating?
- Rigged!

[crowd cheering]

Get your turnip popcorn here!

Turnip dogs, fresh
squeezed turnip juice!

Snack girl, I'll take
one of everything.

Thanks, mister!

Let's see how funny you are

when you're covered
in concession stand

condiments, pal.

[suspenseful music]

- [upbeat music]
- [kids cheering]

Got any turnip tornadoes?

Thanks, Meatball.

[groans]

♪ Sneaking into
their locker room ♪

♪ Gonna find proof
they're cheating ♪

♪ And the horns are, like,
bah-nah-bah-nah-bah-nah ♪

Oh, secret playbook, huh?

What are you doing
in our locker room?

- [yelps]
- Oh, no, is someone injured?

If so, please take
our medical supplies.

We have kitty
and puppy bandages.

Which do you prefer?
Maybe the puppies?

Oh, yeah, absolutely, no contest.

Wait, what happened
to your scary voices,

and your scary frowns?

You mean, our game faces?

Game faces?

We demonstrate fierce, friendly,

fierce, friendly,
fierce, friendly!

So you're not mean, or evil?

Perfektborg is good?

My worldview is crumbling!

Quinby, get her a kringle.

[groaning]

Oh, corn, this is so good.

I'm sorry, I was convinced
you were cheating.

- [players gasp]
- [dramatic music]

We don't even have a word
for that in our native tongue.

But then, why were you
in our locker room?

Oh, we left a basket
of kringles as a treat.

Did you not get them?

Oh, whatever could've
happened to them?

[chomping, belches]

We have a pest problem.

I let competition
cloud my judgment.

I made you the enemy but, mm,
seriously these are so good.

And so are you, it's just
Brighton needs a win

after 129 years.

There is only one thing to do.

Yah, we throw the game,

and allow you to feel
the victory thrill.

You'd do that for us?

Yah, it will be nice

to feel the thrill
of pitiful failure.

Well, "pitiful" wasn't
necessary, but thank you?

- [upbeat music]
- [crowd cheering]

[fireworks whistling]

All right, Meatball.

Prepare to get served.

[roaring]

[screaming]

Let me out of this warm embrace!
Eeh!

- [tender music]
- Mm, what are you doing?

[gasps] You're right, Meatball.

Who am I mad at?
Not you!

You're just a random meatball
with vacant googly eyes.

I'm not mad at you,
I'm mad at myself.

You're the wisest being
I've ever met,

and I met Abraham Lincoln once.

[upbeat music]

[turnip splats]

[Patty] I don't know
what happened,

but Perfektborg isn't
lookin' so perfect anymore!

[upbeat music]

[unicycles squeaking]

[wonky music]

Not the sudden death zone!

That gives 170 points to
Perfektborg and ends the game!

- [gong crashes]
- Perfektborg wins again,

with a final score of 176

to 22 and 1/4.

[sighs] Stupid sport.

Everything has googly
eyes, nothing makes sense.

We are so sorry.

We'll try harder
to lose next year.

[upbeat music]

Really gonna miss
that guy, you know?

So humble, so wise,
so tasty with gravy.

Feeling worried about
the good folk of Brighton.

I don't know if they're ever
gonna recover from this.

[chomping]

Another disgusting loss
at the hands of Perfektborg.

But, we didn't get shut out,
let's celebrate!

[crowd cheering]

Woo, we'll get 'em next year!

Woo!

- [car thuds]
- [crowd cheers]

I guess scoring any points
is a victory for Brighton.

You want half of this kringle?

I can't believe
you're even asking me.

[Scratch chomping]

I said half!

♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪

[upbeat music]