01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Hey?

Wu Ming-han, today's our big day.

Don't be late

and miss out on the surprise.

OK. That's all. Be quick.

f*ck! Are you rushing to suck d*ck?

EXCELLENCE AWARD

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PROMOTION

Hey, honey, look.

I have a couch now.

I can lie down for a nap here.

Hey, I have my own safe too.

Lie down?

Is there someone else in your office?

See for yourself.

I'll show you the whole place.

Anyone here?

No one's here.

-How about under the table?

-Who would hide under the table?

Show me or I'll leave with our daughter.

Leave? Fine. I'll show you.

Is anyone under the table? Let's see.

No one is under the table, okay?

There's no one here.

Alright. I'm busy.

I'll be home for dinner. Okay, bye.

PRECINCT CHIEF CHANG YUNG-KANG

Ming-han! You're finally back.

Hey, Chubby.

Thought you wanted

to quit being a detective?

Your wound's healed?

It was only a g*n shot

and trip to the ICU!

Who do you take me for?

Wait. Who are you?

Officer 62520,

Li Shu-fen reporting for duty.

You're officer 59487. Leo, blood type O.

You cracked the Lin Hsiao-yuan case.

I'll run an MBTI test later

to see if we're compatible at work.

I don't need a personality test.

Chubby knows me best, right?

-Upright. Brave.

-Yes.

Star of the team

Why's a criminal

cutting his nails in my seat?

Ming Ming-han, he's new here.

His name's Shao-nien.

-Shao-nien?

-Yes.

-And?

-He just got back from working undercover.

He took too much ketamine.

I see.

Mr. Shao-nien.

Nice undercover work.

I'm Wu Ming-han.

Ah, f*ck.

Officer 59487,

Wu Ming-han. Welcome back to the team.

Congratulate our boss on

his promotion to precinct chief.

Chief! Chief! Chief!

Chief! Chief! Chief! Chief!

Chief! Chief!

Chief!

Jeez, it wasn't easy

getting where I am today.

Everyone here has contributed so much.

It's a pity that I won't be able

to go to the scene of the crime

and work on the front line

with you guys anymore.

But don't worry.

I'll still make you

a cup of hot tea every day.

-Shu-fen. Come, hand out the drinks.

-Yes, Chief.

-Breakfast with hot tea.

-Here.

Best way to start the day.

I've already talked to the deputy.

We definitely won't be recruiting

a new captain from outside.

We'll choose the best candidate

from those here.

The best candidate

is the one who handled

the Lin Hsiao-yuan case with bravery,

courage, cunning,

and cracked the case.

Yes!

Lin Tzu-ching!

Didn't you

You You

Sorry, Chief. There was an accident

on the road just now.

A woman was almost hit

by some idiot in a green Golf.

-I helped her check the CCTV footage.

-Didn't you

Boss, I thought she ran off?

Whoa!

Quiet!

Continue.

Continue!

Tzu-ching returned all of Lin Hsiao-yuan's

dirty money to the department.

Twist.

What took you so long?

Go help Boss Lin!

He's in the VIP room. Hurry!

Hey, you.

Take this to the boss' car. Hurry.

NEW TAIPEI CITY GIA g*n PRECINC

Eat sh*t!

So you brought the money back.

Why did you leave us both?

We almost died!

If I hadn't left you,

how could I stop him from following me?

Without you delaying him,

how could I have got the money?

Damn you. I got shot, was sent to the ICU

and ended up in a coma.

Ah, I get it.

You want the credit and to become captain.

Sorry. Not my decision.

I didn't ask for this.

Could you have gotten back without me?

I took a b*llet to get back, you handed

over some bags to become captain.

-Boss, why?

-Boss, tell him why.

Huh?

Come here.

Come on.

Cut it out.

Come on.

Come here. Listen.

Everyone contributed to this case.

Tzu-ching risked her life

going undercover.

Think about it.

You got out of the police station.

-But I got shot.

-It was no big deal.

No big deal?

Got out of the station?

Ah?

This is a happy ending. A happy ending.

My life's about to end. I'm not happy!

That's enough.

Hey, just work harder.

Listen.

There will be other opportunities, okay?

Tzu-ching,

this is your first day as captain.

Care to say a few words?

Hey, anyone ordered four breakfasts?

Me!

I'm sorry.

I drove so far. Give me five stars.

Okay, thank you.

Hey.

I mean now.

Okay.

Show delivery drivers some respect,

don't let us wait so long.

Our time is precious.

I'm sorry.

-Apologies.

-How can you eat breakfast at work?

I know many of you doubt me.

You think I'm a girl

and just a pretty face.

Sorry. Who exactly are you?

She's new here.

Chia-fen.

I'm Shu-fen.

Since I've been given this responsibility,

my first reform after taking the position

is to ban eating breakfast

after arriving at work.

This way we dedicate more time for work

and improve efficiency.

We can't eat after arriving,

but can while working?

-Right, Boss?

-Do you want to eat sh*t?

Why would I eat you?

Chief, do you agree?

Boss?

I think it's a good idea.

Let's start with small changes.

Very good.

Boss, weren't you just saying

breakfast with tea,

best way to start the day?

That's all.

If I think of anything else,

I'll let you know.

Report in!

A body's been found

at No. 31 Chongde Road.

Requesting assistance.

Damn it!

I was so nice to her before

and now she pulls this on me.

She's so scheming.

f*ck, must you be such a gross eater?

When did you get so annoying?

I'm annoying?

f*ck, men like us get it so bad now.

They get time off just

for bleeding a little each month. Damn it.

I got shot and bled buckets.

I get transferred and she becomes captain?

Damn it. Is my blood worth nothing?

But she always works hard.

And doesn't take much menstrual leave.

Because it doesn't hurt that much, okay?

You think those girls hid under a tree

during PE class

cos they had menstrual pain?

Let me tell you.

They were lying to the teachers!

What counts as painful then?

The pain of men

losing their dignity, okay?

You won't understand, you fa

finest bestie.

Know how dangerous it is

rushing out like that?

Management says that

we can't come down from the driveway.

Scared the life out of me.

Just call me Hsiao Woo.

Usually, Mr. Cheng comes at 7 a.m.

to swap shifts with me.

But by 8 a.m., he still wasn't here,

so I went looking for him in the lounge.

Then I saw

I saw

What did you see?

Turn on the light.

It's broken.

Chubby, the flashlight.

I don't have one.

You didn't bring one?

Call yourself a detective?

I have a flashlight.

Wu Ming-han.

Wu Ming-han.

Wu Ming-han.

You're done for.

The captain said

Ming-han, you forgot your amulet.

The captain said

The captain said

she doesn't care if you like it or not.

What she says goes.

She wanted you to stay put.

Captain this, captain that!

Go cut your nails.

Ming-han.

The victim is a night security guard,

Cheng Pai-hsiang.

Worked in the Lungyin Building

for eight years.

Hsiao Woo,

the next guard on shift, reported it.

He wasn't close to the victim.

They didn't talk much

when swapping shifts.

Food Foxy.

U Eats.

The victim got all his meals delivered.

Could be an ISTP personality.

People with this personality

are good observers, informal,

like breakthroughs, challenges,

and easily get fed up of things.

What's that?

Hold it.

This looks like foot skin or nails.

Maybe ask him.

Mr. Shao-nien, any thoughts?

Come on!

They wouldn't even spare a fish.

Guys.

At the back of the victim's head,

there's a severe con

Contusion. Preliminary investigation

concludes that the death was caused by

temporal temporal bone fracture.

The items left in his body

indicate that the time of death

was between three

three and five o'clock in the morning.

So what's that on his body?

Scales?

Yes, the corpse has has dozens of

of scales like these.

They're fish scales

from an Asian arowana at the scene.

So

the death

wasn't an accident.

And it wasn't suicide.

It was m*rder.

Duh.

So what do the deer horns,

scales, and chicken feathers

on the victim's body mean?

Based on the corpse's placement,

the k*ller has a rich imagination

and is changeable.

Might be ISFP, the artistic personality.

Could also be INFJ.

So all of you went to the crime scene,

but no one checked the CCTV footage?

Yes, we did.

A camera at the front driveway captured

someone entering and exiting

during the crime.

A resident on the ninth floor

named Chang Po-lun.

But he left early that morning.

We haven't been able to contact him yet.

The CCTV at the back door

has been broken for a long time.

There's no footage.

Was it broken or not plugged in?

Or was the camera not even installed?

All this about footage.

A police officer relies on instinct.

Then let me ask you.

What does your instinct say?

Think about it.

Aren't you the captain?

You're the best?

Right? Right?

Okay, stop that.

Okay. Come on, make way.

A big case so soon into your new position.

When the heavens bestow

great responsibility,

you must have good tea first.

Come on, one each.

Tzu-ching, if you encounter any problems,

you must tell me.

It's not that I don't trust you, okay?

Alright.

Don't be embarrassed, okay?

What's this? Chicken feathers?

And scales.

And deer horns.

Chicken feathers?

Scales?

Deer horns.

GIA g*n PRECINCT EMERGENCY MEETING

Have you ever heard of the Idiom Murders?

Twenty years ago,

two horrific murders

occurred in the town of Hengchiu.

The k*ller was a famous

Chinese language tutor named Shui-yuan.

He was known

for his strict teaching style.

Shui-yuan once threatened his students

that if they didn't study hard,

he'd k*ll them.

At first, they thought he was bluffing.

HEAD-BOWED, I SERVE THE CHILDREN.

Until one day,

two of his students were k*lled

one after the other.

Back then, I handcuffed him myself.

As he lay struggling on the ground,

words came softly from his mouth.

"H-H,

X-D,

O-R-Z."

"H-H, X-D,

O-R-Z."

Hey, why are you writing that down?

He k*lled his students

because they had miswritten a word

during an idiom exam.

He carefully arranged the scene

to remind everyone

of the words they'd miswritten

and remind people the importance

of Chinese literacy.

Everyone called them the Idiom Murders.

And the media called Shui-yuan

A serial k*ller.

-No.

-Idiom m*rder Monster.

No.

-Idiom k*ller King.

-No.

Handsome Idiom k*ller.

Aren't you Hey, how

-How come you're not stuttering now?

-Right.

You keep interrupting me. Stop it!

The media called him

the Idiom Monster.

-f*ck, isn't that what I said?

-No, it's different.

Anyway, from an educator,

Shui-yuan became a prisoner.

Wait, Boss.

How is Shui-yuan

connected to this case?

Of course they're connected.

Chicken feathers.

Okay?

Fish scales.

Horns.

Miswritten words.

-Feather in your cap.

-There's no cap.

-Flew the roost.

-It's "the coop."

Right, the coop.

Coop Coop, my a*s!

Have you heard of the saying

"phoenix feathers and qilin horns"?

Huh?

Where did you learn Chinese? Mexico?

Idiots.

PHOENIX FEATHERS AND QILIN HORNS

Chicken feathers

are also called phoenix feathers.

Qilin.

QILIN HORNS (FISH SCALES)

There are many fish scales

on the body.

Like the chief said,

the k*ller's hinting at a miswritten word.

-What does one wrong word matter?

-Of course it matters!

This is the first case

since I became chief,

Tzu-ching became captain,

and Ming-han returned

Forget it.

This is a very, very important case.

We must solve it.

Move it.

Go, get to work. Hurry up.

Wait, Wu Ming-han.

Hey, everyone says your Chinese is bad.

-It really is.

-Who says so?

What's the next line after,

"Having friends come from afar"?

Welcome.

HAVING FRIENDS COME FROM AFAR,

ISN'T IT SUCH A JOY?

Are you done? Can I have it back now?

FOR ELEMENTARY STUDENTS

Loser.

GRADE 10, GRADE 11

IDIOMS AREN'T THAT DIFFICUL

BY HUANG HSIAN

BOSS

Boss, can I put these books

on my expenses?

Don't call me Boss, call me Chief.

Where are you?

Chief, I'm buying books on idioms.

A corpse was found at CUA High School.

It's got to be another serial k*ller.

Get back now!

Unified Business Number.

UNIFIED BUSINESS NUMBER: 87879487

GREATEST SAGE AND TEACHER

Guys.

At the back of his head,

the victim suffered severe blunt

blunt trauma.

It's the same with

with the previous case.

The probable cause of death

is a severe blow to the back

back of the head.

However, one unique factor this time

is that his teeth were were extracted.

How many?

All

Could his dentures have been removed?

Im Impossible.

They must have been been extracted

after after his his death.

Because there isn't

I know what the saying is!

-"Skin of your teeth"!

-"Costs an arm and a tooth"!

much bleeding.

It's not "skin of your teeth".

What's skin got to do with anything?

-It's "costs an arm and a tooth".

-That's my bestie.

"Skin of your teeth"

doesn't have any miswritten words.

"Skin of your"

Must be "costs and arm and a tooth"!

-I swear in my boss' name!

-Don't bring me into this!

Where's Shao-nien?

He's at the hospital

for drug rehabilitation treatment.

Half a year and he's still in rehab?

Yes.

Chief, you must make a decision now.

We must focus our investigation

in one direction.

Listen. What do we use to solve cases?

-Instinct.

-Instinct, reaction, and luck.

And personality profiles.

Um, hang on.

This is already the second case.

It must be a copycat crime.

Chief, let's go see this Idiom Monster

you mentioned.

He might know what's in the k*ller's mind.

FAMOUS CHINESE LANGUAGE TUTOR

ARRESTED FOR IDIOM MURDERS

Shu-fen made a personality profile

based on Shui-yuan's interview video

20 years ago.

He has high self-esteem,

loves to show off his charm and intellect,

he's extremely irritable,

with messy relationships,

unmotivated antisocial behavior

and severe aggressive tendencies.

Damn. Why did you ask me to come?

I hate Chinese language classes.

I hate Chinese language teachers.

I hate k*ller Chinese teachers most.

Shut up.

I'll do the talking when he comes.

So you should've come alone.

Mr. Shui-yuan,

I'm captain

of the Criminal Investigation Team,

Lin Tzu-ching.

This is

This is my colleague.

We asked you here today

to show you some photos.

We'd also like to hear your thoughts.

Is he that dangerous?

This is a m*rder

that took place yesterday.

We think you might be

of help in this case.

LIAO SHAN-TAI m*rder CASE

I'll make things clearer.

We deduce that someone

is copying your modus operandi.

Do you agree?

You don't know or won't tell me?

Are you here to interrogate me

or consult me?

I'd like to consult you.

The one consulting me is sitting down.

The one being consulted is standing up.

Is that proper manners?

Never mind.

Sit down.

Actually, when I used to teach,

I would stand

while the students sat

listening to me teach.

The only difference is, back then,

I had a podium.

A teacher's podium

is like a general's w*r horse

or a singer's stage.

The teacher stands on the podium

and imparts his knowledge,

offering his guidance.

He must be responsible

for his students with every word.

Do you have a podium?

How's this?

What is your name?

Are you interrogating me

or consulting me? Huh?

Wu Ming-han, sit down.

Officer Wu Ming-han.

When you came in with this book,

there was scribbling all over the cover.

Was that you?

You don't take care of books.

You must have done badly at school

and the teachers didn't like you.

The only reason you're here

is because of

this beautiful female officer beside you.

The female officer introduced herself

as captain

of the Criminal Investigation Team,

yet you didn't introduce yourself.

That's because she's the boss

and you're the subordinate.

You feel embarrassed.

You came with her

because you think you can protect her,

but you also want to protect

your pitiful male dignity.

How pitiful.

Who's pitiful, huh?

Whose hands are in a straight jacket?

Do you need the prison guards

to jerk you off?

My hand is hurt.

My hands are very rough.

Careful!

You think the police are made of glass?

Dan-dan-dan-dan

Dan-dan-dan-dan

This case

-must have troubled you for a long time.

-Actually, since the day before yesterday.

How many murders took place before this?

Just the one.

Yes.

Phoenix feathers and qilin horns.

By the way,

did the k*ller bring that fish?

It was the victim's own fish.

Take off my glasses.

Since you guessed right,

let's discuss the second m*rder.

The victim had both hands tied,

his teeth extracted

and he was kneeling on the ground.

I think

it might be

"skin of your teeth."

Why skin? How does that part work?

Is there a miswritten word?

Bingo.

Told you it's "costs and arm and a tooth."

You didn't believe me.

You're close,

but not right.

You neglected the most important clue.

The statue of Confucius.

Did you see it?

He has his hands clasped

and is kneeling in front of Confucius.

He was seeking advice from Confucius.

The k*ller

was probably hinting at the saying

"learning from the ground up."

Are you sure?

Being locked up hasn't driven you mad?

I'm not sure about that.

I'm not the k*ller.

However, if it happens again next time,

you can come back and ask me.

Next time?

Will there be a next time?

Won't there be a next time?

Has your Chinese literacy improved?

I think we're OK.

Even if it happens again,

we won't need your help.

What a waste of time. Let's go.

Sir, if it happens again,

what characteristics will the k*ller have?

Let's go.

Damn it.

Goodbye, sir.

Bye, kiddo.

See you all tomorrow.

Dan-dan-dan-dan

Dan-dan-dan-dan

MOGI YUMI

SUSPENSE

MOGI YUMI