02x03 - Legs!

[bunniefuu]

A truck is coming!

Pablo, don't cross!

Watch out, Pablo!

Pablo!

Pablo!

You have realized

You're just a creep

Come on, Harry!

You look in the mirror

And want to scream

If you feel abandoned and grim

You will always have

Porn and ice cream

Porn

I am a Feeble-Minded.

You're cool anyway.

I'm a Feeble-Minded.

Porn and ice cream

No!

No!

No!

Porn and ice cream

Come on.

Everybody get in the car.

Get in, come on. Get in.

-Get in. Pablo, get in.

-Harry, start the car.

Open up for me.

Hey! Open up!

Sorry, dude. I can't take

more than three passengers.

I helped you escape. They'll k*ll me.

You're putting me in a hard spot,

I'm working.

The Rolingas will k*ll me.

They'll k*ll me. Please, open up.

I helped you a lot.

Don't look.

PORN AND ICE CREAM

You poor things, you must be starving.

We had breakfast

at a gas station on our way back.

-Here.

-Where was it?

Dieguito had it.

See? I told you so!

What happened to Dieguito?

He signed with Manu Music

and put out some solo albums.

Some of them are okay.

I liked his lysergic phase.

I liked his folk album more.

So what's he doing now?

He quit music

and is studying mechanical engineering.

There's not enough for four.

I don't want any pastries.

I'm here to get paid for all these trips.

I'm just kidding. Here, help yourself.

Harry, can't you tell

we're traumatized by what happened?

Look at Ramón, he's in shock.

No, I'm fine. I'm chilling.

You're in shock, Ramón, remember?

No, Pablo. I was a while ago,

but now I'm great.

Harry, we can't pay this debt!

What were you thinking?

That I'd drive you everywhere for free?

I take you twice a week to a hair salon

and you have me wait for 90 minutes.

My bangs grow so fast!

Excuse me, I'm not paying

whatever debt she racked up.

Sorry? Who did we pick up

in the middle of nowhere?

All right, Harry,

maybe we could work something out,

like a payment plan.

You've got 48 hours.

-Harry, that's too little time.

-What?

A week.

You say one week

-One week.

-Okay.

He forgot his g*n!

I'm full up this week.

Monday is a tribute to Sabina.

Tuesday, bands that don't know Sabina.

Wednesday, Sabina plays.

Thursday, bands under 30.

That's it! We could play

with the bands under 30.

No, Pablo isn't under 30.

He is mentally.

-What are you doing?

-The trash helps the atmosphere.

Kids today are too ecological,

they throw everything in the bin.

Sandro, we need a gig,

we owe a ton of money.

The only thing I can think of

is for you guys to play

at the leg transplant festival.

Is there any money?

-A ton of money.

-Perfect.

You got a leg-themed set?

-Set?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I had a set, not a run.

All right.

-Did you just win?

-That's right, kid.

You owe us seven grand.

You've got one week.

Why is it always a week?

Good news, I got you a gig.

Bad news,

we're in debt with other taxi drivers.

Harry said we should save up.

We can't keep spending.

-We're going broke.

-What about those headphones?

A little treat for myself.

They're noise cancelling.

-Noise cancelling?

-Noise cancelling?

You have to come up

with leg-related songs for the gig.

Legs?

Ceci, you can't just tell us

what to write.

You can't condition inspiration.

It's not that easy.

You

Your hair shimmered

Under the sun's soft gaze

-How much is this?

-Eighty.

-You got a smaller bill?

-I've got nothing.

You

And your smile laughed louder

Than the sea's ballet

-Perfect.

-Great.

You could use the change.

Wanna keep this

and just give me a thousand bill?

-All right.

-Better, right?

-Yeah.

-Okay.

You

And your ears danced

To the melody's sway

Ceci. Ceci!

Sorry, the noise cancelling was on.

Be right back.

Hey!

I saw that, you short-changed her.

-What do you mean?

-You gave her 500 and kept 1,000.

I have her 580.

I gotta say, that was very elegantly done.

Thank you.

-I'm Ceci.

-I'm Clau.

Been a while since saw a snack like you.

-I mean a sneak thief.

-Excuse me, I'm no thief.

Wanna see a thief?

Those two, waiting for someone

carrying a briefcase on the street side.

That one. Freely picking pockets.

Him. Dressed for the occasion.

Those two. Not even hiding it.

And that one. Completely insane.

Thieves, pickpockets, swindlers,

sticky fingers, five-finger discount,

eenie meenie miny moe,

catch a tiger by the toe.

They're there, but you don't see them.

They do stand out a lot.

Yeah, this corner is kinda dicey.

Let's get outta here.

And I ended up scoring about $300,000.

Where's all that money?

In my uncle's, at Chascomús.

That's why the key to a good con is

Wait, hold on!

Are you trying to explain cons to me?

I'm a professional hustler, honey.

I can steal anything from anyone.

Is that right?

Let's see.

Steal from that guy.

-Him?

-Yeah.

Very easy.

-Too easy.

-Go on.

-Are you gonna do it?

-I am.

All right, do it.

-I'm gonna.

-Are you?

-Can't you see I'm going?

-So go.

-Excuse me, sir.

-Yes?

-Do you have the time?

-Sure.

-It's a quarter past 3:00.

-Perfect, thanks.

Need anything else?

I sure could use one of those.

-That would be great, huh?

-Yeah, really great.

-I should get back to work.

-Of course.

-Be careful! Are you okay?

-Yeah.

-You are?

-Thank you so much. Sorry.

You're welcome.

That was okay. I mean

I was expecting something more

It's okay. You have potential.

-You really do.

-Potential?

-I meant

-That's great.

-What a relief!

-The thing is

Here you go, big boss.

Get yourself something nice.

That's $3.

I've been thinking about leg-themed songs.

But all the lyrics get a little erotic.

I started putting together a song.

It's a very limited subject.

We should be able

to write about something else.

I'll tell Ceci to ask Sandro

if we can write

about other parts of the body.

Kneeling before you, I stay

Frills in the darkness play

Unfolding intermittent light

Long legs converse in delight

A book revealing secrets untold

Your clothes gracefully unfold

In that joyous moment, I find

A reason to live

A reason to live

I wish an athlete of love I was

Legs come and legs go

In between, a captivating show

Legs come and go

In between, a captivating show

What do you think?

I think

it's awful.

Right? Kinda lame.

Ramón.

Ramón.

-What's up?

-Are you okay?

Horacio, do you think I've got talent?

Sure you do. You're a great employee.

You arrive early, you meet your goals,

you build amazing displays.

I'm not talking about that.

I meant artistic talent.

Art is overrated, Ramón.

Let me tell you a story.

Many years ago, I went to an art school.

I was the best in class.

My work was showcased

at Palais de Glace, the Malba,

Venice Biennale, Ruth Benzacar.

All the bells and whistles.

But I was f*cking broke.

My friends were employees

and they went out to eat all the time,

while I stayed in,

painting and eating rice.

Until one day I said, "Enough!"

I sent my résumé to Construcasa

and I haven't cooked since.

I just order all the time.

Did you know that eating too much rice

can cause hemorrhoids?

That was a painful surgery.

Thank you, Horacio.

You're welcome, kid.

You should come over sometime.

We'll order some ceviche.

Be honest, was that orgasm real?

Because I'm not sure if I can trust you.

Look, I'd say I've got cancer

to skip out on a birthday party,

but I'd never fake an orgasm.

-Can you open the door?

-Don't you wanna stay the night?

You don't have to play boyfriend.

We're both grown-ups.

We know we'll never meet again,

and that's fine.

-Come on, show me out.

-But why?

I'd like to see you again,

and I'd like you to stay.

Spare me all this, all right?

I'm not an idiot.

I was there and back before you even left.

Besides, we just met.

We vibed, had the best sex in our lives.

We're compatible in every way,

and you want me to stay over? Moron!

Don't you give me that face.

Those eyes. I am perfectly fine by myself.

-Got it? I

-Yeah.

-What?

-Come here.

Some legs are hairy

And some are not

They need a hairdresser like I do

Some run, jump and dance

While others don't

Some play soccer, tennis

Or ping-pong

Well, it could work.

-It's not bad.

-It's horrible.

Yeah, it's lame.

I was working on a song.

Really? Great, let's hear it.

My girl, so little

Has me captivated

Her tiny legs

Her hurried steps

When I pick her up from school

-No.

-No!

What are those lyrics?

It's about my daughter, Almendra.

She's bow-legged.

-She's lovely.

-She really is. So what do we do?

-I've got a song

-No. It's bad.

Let's hear it, maybe we can fix it.

No, let's not waste our time.

I'd rather cancel the gig

than play that live.

Hey, it's not that bad.

Yes, it is.

Ramón, are you angry at me?

Did I do something?

No. Everything is fine.

I love you and you're my best friend.

Oh, okay. I love you, too.

Let's call it a day.

All right.

-Are you okay, kid?

-Yeah, why?

I don't know, you look different.

-What's up with you?

-I'm the same as always.

I know what's going on. You're in love.

What? No way.

-She's in love!

-She's in love!

She's in love!

Are you absent-minded and clumsy?

Maybe

Did you forget to have lunch and dinner?

Maybe

You find all his jokes are funny

They're good, aren't day?

Do you have a few hundred to spare?

It's not love, it's just momentary heat

A fleeting feeling that won't repeat

Take responsibility, shorty

Denying it won't help

You're in love

You're in love

Stop f*cking around, please

Am I in love?

You're a b*tch, Tana, a b*tch.

Speak up. I thought you had another

Why don't you answer the phone?

-Sorry.

-Hi.

I made tiramisu.

Yummy.

I brought

some chocolate cake my brother made.

I love chocolate cake, it's my favorite.

Thanks, Pablo.

Pablo's stuff is always better, huh?

-Hey there.

-How are you? You must be Ramón.

-Yeah. Nice to meet you.

-Same. Claudio.

-Claudio, a pleasure.

-Claudio?

-My dad's called Claudio.

-Yeah. You're Pablo.

-Yes.

-What's up?

Listen up.

Take care of that girl.

No, she can take care of herself.

The chicken giblets were great.

Thank you, Ramón.

Pablo, I would've made something else

if I knew you were vegetarian.

Wasn't it just pork

you had an issue with, Pablo?

Where do you think

chicken comes from, huh?

There are no more plates.

We'll have to eat from containers.

All right.

How did you guys meet?

That's a great story.

-Ceci tried to con me.

-Really? How?

It wasn't a con, Ramón.

I tried to get him into a pyramid scheme.

I ended up giving her $800.

-But I gave it back.

-Yeah.

What did you do with the $800?

Nothing, it's at home.

-In the sock drawer, right?

-How did you know?

To the prettiest woman

in all of Buenos Aires.

And to the sexiest man on the planet.

Ceci, toast to your boyfriend, not me.

That's not funny, Pablo. Not funny.

-No.

-To Ceci and Clau.

-Cheers!

-Cheers!

INCOMING CALL

UNKNOWN

-Hello?

-Ramón.

Yeah?

-We've got Pablo.

-What?

We kidnapped Pablo.

No!

To free him, you have to pay us $800.

That's exactly

the amount of dollars I have!

Perfect. Put it in a black trash bag

and throw it in the bin outside your door,

or you'll never see your friend again.

Legs come and go

In between, a captivating show

You're a genius, Ramón.

The most talented of all.

I'm glad that Pablo was k*lled.

No.

Hi! Yes!

Did we get cut off?

Yeah, the reception is bad.

Yeah, cell phone providers are thieves.

-Totally.

-Well, you've got half an hour.

Pablo!

-What's up, Ramón?

-Are you okay?

Yeah. Why are you being nice to me now?

Did they do anything? Beat you up?

Who, my folks?

They called me

and said you'd been kidnapped.

As far as I know, I wasn't kidnapped.

I'm an idiot.

-They stole $800 from me.

-Who, my folks?

I'm sorry, Pablo, I was jealous.

Because the song you wrote

is the most beautiful in the world.

And I don't think I'll ever write

a song like that in my life.

Maybe. But you don't have to be jealous.

We're a band.

It doesn't matter who writes it.

It'll always have both our names on it.

Like Pablo and Pachu used to do.

Thanks, Pablo.

-Oh, yeah. Yeah, there.

-There?

A little lower. There.

The things you see

when you're under house arrest.

f*cking sh*t.

I haven't written the chorus yet.

Will you give me a hand?

Sure.

-Hey, Sandro.

-Hi, Ceci.

I filed a report with the police,

but they told me

I'm unlikely to get the money back.

Police? What happened?

Ramón got a call,

they said Pablo had been kidnapped.

They took $800.

-I'll be back!

-Where are you going?

We're playing in a bit.

-I got a

-What?

A female emergency!

-Oh, feminism.

-Feminism.

What are you looking for?

What am I looking for? The

Oh, my God.

Looking for Ramón's money?

How could you scam my friend?

Are you nuts?

I don't care about anyone but you,

I told you that.

Well, I do care about my friends.

Give me the money.

Give me the money!

Damn it.

I bought two tickets to Mexico.

I want to start a new life there,

by ourselves.

-We leave in two hours.

-Two hours? That's tight.

I always leave three hours before.

To get through customs without hurrying,

check out the duty-free shop

No.

What am I saying? I can't leave.

I've got a band here, a life.

-I manage a band!

-Hold on.

Imagine the two of us in the Caribbean.

Scamming tourists together.

Spending all day at the beach.

Eating quesadillas.

Watching El Chavo.

Professor Jirafales.

-"Please go ahead."

-"After you."

"Shut up, you're driving me crazy!"

"You just don't have any patience."

"Gossip! Gossip!"

Okay.

"That's it."

I want to apologize

To Jaime Roos

To Jaime Roos

Because

Because he once told me

Don't fall in love with anyone

Don't fall in love with anyone

Don't fall in love with anyone

These people dance funny.

They're happy

because they received leg transplants.

Oh, right!

Don't fall in love with anyone

TODAY AT THE INCESTUOUS

THE FEEBLE-MINDED

-This light is taking forever, right?

-Forever!

Stop!

What's wrong?

I can't move to Mexico with you.

Ceci

It's the first time

I feel something like this for anyone.

Me too,

but I can't just leave everything behind.

My life is here.

All right.

TODAY AT THE INCESTUOUS

THE FEEBLE-MINDED

Kneeling before you, I stay

Frills in the darkness play

Unfolding intermittent light

Long legs converse in delight

A book revealing secrets untold

Your clothes gracefully unfold

And in that joyous moment

I discover the reason to live

The reason to live

I want to become an athlete of love

Legs come and legs go

And they entertain each other

Legs come and go

And they entertain each other

Legs come and legs go

And they entertain each other

Legs come and go

And they entertain each other