02x01 - The Fan

[bunniefuu]

ON THE PREVIOUS SEASON OF

-Porn.

-Ice cream.

Pretend you're my friends.

-Pablo?

-What's up, otaku?

I'm in a band now.

Well, they're my band.

I didn't know you played.

I'm their manager.

I got you your first gig.

But we can't play.

You like your lives?

Mooching off your parents

and working at Construcasa?

-No.

-Yeah.

Porn and ice cream

Porn and ice cream

Porn and ice cream

Porn and ice cream

My boss is a very important senator.

His daughter is turning 15.

I need a band for the party.

Cross-dressing is my life

It's hard to repress it

I've decided to abandon

my presidential campaign.

-We're the Feeble-Minded.

-Three, four.

Thanks to your silly song,

Vieira stepped down from his candidacy

and I had to go back

to working for my dad.

So now I'll make it my life goal

f*ck! To make sure the Feeble-Minded

never play again.

PORN AND ICE CREAM

Was I wearing this suit?

Pablo, why are you on drums?

Were you wearing that hat?

-There's fewer people.

-You're right.

The budget is smaller for this season.

Season?

Okay, where were we?

You were gonna make sure

the Feeble-Minded

Right. Never play again!

No, stop! I'll have my revenge!

I'll have my revenge!

-All right, play.

-Come on, dude, play!

One, two, three, four!

Porn and ice cream

Porn and ice cream

Porn and ice cream

Porn and ice cream

Do you wanna play next Friday?

There's a spot left.

Maybe.

But we won't play for the same rate.

I'm open to offers.

-The same rate.

-Deal.

That show was great!

It was amazing.

I don't give a sh*t.

I k*lled it, dude.

I mean, it was amazing.

Yeah, it was nice.

You guys did good, too,

but I feel like people

really formed a connection with me.

I feel like I'm ready

for a Normapalusa or something.

-Pablo?

-Yeah?

Sorry to bother you,

but I wanted to say that you k*lled it.

-See?

-Just that, I won't bother you anymore.

Wait, do you want a selfie?

Yeah. Maybe.

I saw you wanted one and didn't dare ask.

-Yeah.

-Come on.

Yeah.

Can I see it?

No, wait.

-There we go.

-All right, thanks, Pablo.

-What's your name?

-Diego, but they call me Dieguito.

I mean, on Instagram.

So I can look up the post.

Dieguitociclon2003.

-Cool.

-All right, thanks.

-See ya.

-See ya.

Dieguito!

Wanna go get a drink with us?

All right.

Guys, this is Dieguito.

He's a fan of mine.

He'll drink with us.

-Spot me a whisky, Grace, come on.

-f*ck off.

My creative process is chaotic, see?

Inspiration strikes out of nowhere.

I might be taking a bath

and then have to run out naked

to get my guitar

because I just thought of a melody.

That's gross, Pablo.

It's been known to happen.

"It's been known to happen"?

Why do you talk like that?

I've always spoken like this.

Wanna hear the story

of how we wrote Porn and Ice Cream?

It's really good.

Sure, but let me go get a beer first.

-Okay, bring two.

-Right.

Did you have to bring the kid, Pablo?

Oh, you're so obvious.

You're jealous that I've got a fan?

Relax, you'll get some soon.

Well, maybe not you Ceci.

Who'd be a manager's fan?

Sorry, I didn't mean to crash your party.

But I've always wanted a group.

-A band?

-No, a group of friends.

Guys, your pizza.

-We didn't order this, Graciela.

-No, I did.

It's my treat.

Are you gonna eat that?

Pablo? There's a kid looking for you.

Right, my fan. Let him in.

-Come in.

-Excuse me.

I'll go back to the kitchen,

I'm under house arrest.

I can't go in here.

Yeah. See you later.

Nice room.

Yeah, this is my temple.

My folks gave me

the biggest room in the house.

Hey, why is your mom under house arrest?

Curiosity k*lled the dog.

I think you meant

"curiosity k*lled the cat."

You'd think so, but no.

May I?

-Be careful with her.

-Yeah.

No, this is how you do a D.

There.

I'm not good at this.

Chill, don't beat yourself up.

I was in your shoes once.

It's all about practice.

I struggle with the diminished D

with B as bass note.

Yeah, that's tougher.

-I'm almost ready.

-Okay.

That's a Rolinga kerchief, right?

This one? It's a classic.

It's great.

Come here.

Let's see, this one.

I've got high hopes for you.

I wore that kerchief when I went out

to see some bands in Flores,

and I met Micaela,

and we spent the whole night talking.

Did anything happen after?

No, she said on chat

that she thought I was cute,

but she'd just met a guy

and they were kinda going out.

-That sucks.

-But it's a lucky kerchief.

I hope so.

-Shall we?

-Yeah.

Security cameras from China, Thailand

From all over the world?

-I can watch them?

-Yeah.

Take your time, why don't you?

Dieguito took a while to pick me up.

No, I was there on time.

Rule number four, never snitch.

What are the other three?

I'll tell you later.

Let's get going,

the last bus to Zárate goes at 7:00.

Wanna start with Porn and Ice Cream?

I wanted to show you a song

I wrote based on a dream I had.

Ceci and I were kissing on a beach,

and she said,

"You're a great kisser, Pablo."

-You're such a drag.

-No, wait.

You turned into a poodle

and your legs just kept growing

-Sorry!

-What happened?

I wanted to close the case.

-Pablo.

-Pablo, are you okay?

-Does it hurt?

-It hurts a lot.

-Here.

-No, thanks. I'm not hungry.

They're frozen. It's for your hand, Pablo.

What do we do? Call it off?

No way. We paid for the room.

We have to rehearse.

Ceci, there's no point

without a guitar player.

It's true, I'm the soul of the band.

-Can you play the guitar for today?

-I'm a bassist!

We have to make use of the time.

Pick up your instruments

and let's try to

Dieguito, do you play?

-A little.

-He's not great.

I mean, I can make do.

Perfect, we've got Pablo's stand-in.

We can salvage the day.

Need the chords for Porn and Ice Cream?

No, I know them.

C, E minor, D minor, G.

-Right.

-He's really good.

One, two, three, four!

Can't you tell

That you're a failure?

You look in the mirror

You're losing your hairline

If you feel left out

-Pablo.

-What do you want?

Can you give me Dieguito's number?

So he can replace me

and watch porn and eat ice cream with you?

No.

Because he wanted the price

of a toilet seat in Construcasa.

All right.

My cell phone's gone.

You got pick-pocketed.

Maybe it's in the rehearsal room.

Only city folk get their phones stolen.

Back in Zárate, we chain it to our waist.

The bill, guys.

Thanks. How much is it?

No way, it's my treat.

You saved our rehearsal.

Thanks. What a surprise.

Why is that?

Because Pablo told me

you were a bit stingy.

"Stingy"?

A cheapskate, tightwad,

skinflint, miser, penny-pincher

Okay, I got it.

But he was wrong. Thanks.

Thank you.

I think Dieguito deserves some applause.

He k*lled it today.

Please, guys. Come on.

Excuse me.

-Dieguito.

-Ramón.

I didn't know you worked in this branch.

What a coincidence! Out of 27 branches

of Construcasa, you ended up at mine.

What are you up to?

I'm here to return

the seat you recommended.

But I don't think they'll let me.

A bit broke off

while I was trying to install it.

Let's see Relax, I'll exchange it.

Are you sure?

I mean, it's a little broken.

It's all right, no one will notice.

I'll exchange it.

Thanks, Ramón.

You're actually super chill.

What do you mean?

Pablo always says

that he's the creative, more open-minded,

and you're more of a square.

Pablo says I'm a square?

No, sorry, he meant well.

I'm an idiot, me and my big mouth.

I'm sorry.

Here, Dieguito,

I'll meet you at the register.

All right.

Pablo, what's up?

Looking for my cell phone.

Why are you here?

Ceci wanted me to tell you that

today's rehearsal was moved to tomorrow.

She said she texted you

but you didn't reply.

-She didn't call the landline?

-She said it was too expensive.

-What a cheapskate.

-Totally.

How's your hand?

Great.

I feel so guilty.

You should.

Pablo, do you have a problem with me?

No, it's all fine.

Because you seem off.

Not at all. I mean,

you said weren't great at guitar and

No, I just have a problem with D major.

Okay, we're fine.

Pablo, I don't want

any bad vibes between us.

I look up to you,

and you taught me a lot

in just a short time.

Yeah, I know.

All right, I'll be off.

Okay.

-Dieguito.

-Yeah?

If you want,

you can come to tomorrow's rehearsal.

Thanks, Pablo.

-Can you send Ramón a message?

-Yeah.

What should I say?

"What's up, dude? It's Pablo.

"I'll drop by tonight.

"I'll bring the ice cream,

you supply the you-know-what."

Wink emoji.

Eggplant emoji.

And droplets emoji.

Add that.

Sent.

-Thanks.

-See ya, Pablo.

Droplets

Pablo!

-Joaquín.

-Come here.

I can hear you from here.

Are you looking for Ramón?

Yeah, we were gonna meet.

Your friend left earlier.

That's weird.

Thanks, Joaquín.

-Want me to tell you where he went?

-Of course.

Come closer and I will.

No, we can talk from here.

He went to rehearsal

with some kid that picked him up.

-Dieguito.

-Yeah, that's right. Great kid.

I knew it!

-What's up, Pablo?

-Sorry.

I knew it!

Pablo, you can't show up

whenever you want.

He's stealing my identity.

Who'd want your identity, Pablo?

Yeah.

He said rehearsal was canceled

so he could take my place.

I don't know what he means.

Don't blame him

because you forgot to show up.

And you said you couldn't play,

but you play better than I do.

-Yeah

-Yeah

I'm sure you stole my phone.

I think he's going crazy.

-Give me back my kerchief.

-No, stop

Pablo, you're choking him!

-No!

-You're choking him!

-Get out. Stop!

-Pablo.

We're wasting rehearsal time,

and I can't allow that since I'm so cheap.

Yeah, I know that.

-But he's

-Just go, Pablo.

Ramón, you're my friend.

You gotta believe me.

Maybe I'm too square to be your friend.

You are a square,

but why does that matter?

Dieguito was right.

You think I'm a square.

No, I never said that.

Out loud.

Pablo, we want you to leave.

We gotta rehearse, tomorrow's the show.

Dieguito will take your spot.

You're kicking me out of the band?

Okay.

Good luck with Dieguito.

I'm sorry, I don't want you guys

to fight because of me.

It's all right.

Don't worry, Dieguito.

I love you guys.

We love you, too, Dieguito.

There once was this kid

He was short, swell

He seemed like a nice guy

Dieguito was his name

He pretended to be my friend

Said "Congratulations, my man"

But he slowly snuck around

And stabbed me in the back

He's a small devil

Looks like a younger Danny DeVito

But with more hair

And a bit more slim

So the comparison isn't fair

They're both just short

I hate him!

Great.

All right, we're the Feeble-Minded.

This is Porn and Ice Cream.

No. No!

That kid is an impostor!

His hand is rotting!

No, that's just the pus draining.

Pablo, go home.

No, I'm bored at home.

I want to play with the band,

I'm a Feeble Mind.

Clearly.

If you replace me with Dieguito,

I'll make it my life goal to make sure

You copycat.

that the Feeble-Minded

No, stop! Sandro! No.

-No, stop! Stop! No.

-Okay

Stop, no.

Awkward moment.

He's on the way to the loony bin,

so the show can go on.

That was in poor taste.

I wasn't listening.

No.

Sandro, it's me, Pablo.

Yeah, I know. You're crazy.

Dieguito told me you'd do this.

But that kid is evil!

No, he's wonderful.

Instead of playing Porn and Ice Cream,

we'll play something else.

It's called

Decadent Rolinga.

Take care of the present

People don't pay attention anymore

You're a decadent Rolinga

Your 15 minutes are over

You think you're so smart

Open up!

Forget about it, there's no way in.

When did they start being so punctual?

There's no toilets in the bathrooms,

but they're sticklers for schedules.

Were you also left out?

Yeah, something like that.

My friends are inside.

Mine too. Former friends.

Why former? What happened?

It's a long story. I mean

In 2004, I met Ramón

while he was working at Construcasa.

-One day, I

-Hold on, there's a place nearby.

We could get a hot dog and talk.

You want me to go with you?

Yeah, we can have a drink.

-I mean, if you want to.

-No, I do. For sure.

Yeah, I'm hungry. I'll have a hot dog.

-Totally.

-Cool, let's go.

Let's go.

Rolinga

Thank you!

Plus they buy all his stories,

they're so gullible.

-Thanks.

-People are crazy, dude.

I went through that a few years back.

-For real?

-Yeah.

Some friends let me down,

and I went to live in the country.

I live in a community.

I met some really cool people

that love and value me for who I am,

they trust me.

I wish I had something like that.

And I'm not really a fan of nature.

I'm more of a city girl,

but it helped me unwind.

It's beautiful.

I visited a farm on a school trip once.

It was really nice. We milked a cow.

The milk was kinda gross, though.

And the cow kicked a classmate.

-Do you wanna come?

-Where?

To the farm. My friends would love you.

Text me the address,

and if the Uber isn't too expensive

What Uber, man?

It's a few hours from here,

I've got my truck.

Do you have anything better to do?

I k*lled it, dude.

Hey, it's not okay

to just play whatever you want.

Relax, Silvu, don't get anxious.

You gotta improvise in life, right?

Dieguito, she's right,

what you did was wrong.

That's the owner of Manu Music?

Yes, Bermúdez.

Hi, Bermúdez.

What I'm about to say is weird, but

I think I miss Pablo.

What's wrong?

-Pablo had his phone stolen, Ramón.

-I know.