So remember,
just do the task.
Simply see the person's hands
and describe them.
So you've got
a little roundy scar
on the knuckle there.
And, um...
...you've got lovely long
fingers, really... nice nails.
Don't judge.
It's not about whether
the hand is good or bad.
Just about observing,
paying attention.
OK?
-May I?
-Yeah.
OK, long fingers.
There's a scratch there
on the knuckle of
the index finger.
Cat scratch.
And there's another one there
just higher up.
It veers off to the left a bit.
The thumb has a little
bitten bit to the left
of the nail.
And when you've done the task,
just the task, long enough,
uh, you move up to their face,
their eyes.
And the top dark lash line
just cuts off the very tip of
the... the dark brown iris.
And there's a...
there's a darker line
around the outside of the iris.
And it's... it's hard not to
feel a... an intimacy.
An almost instant intimacy
and a...
An excitement?
Yeah, for sure, an excitement
in the intimacy.
And it's a good way to create
an intense intimacy
between your actors
and sometimes with you.
You know, and it's
an intimacy you'll feel
very comfortable with.
It's our job.
But they need to
understand this pact -
what it's for,
that the intimacy
is for the work.
OK? Do you want to carry on?
- Yep.
- Thank you.
OK.
OK, well done.
Ah,
that's always a bad sign.
He was meant to stay
with our friend Renate,
but he's peeing all over
the place and there's...
Blood in the piss?
Yeah, blood in the urine.
Dearest,
why do you say 'urine'?
Well, what do you
want me to say?
I want you to tell me
what's wrong with him.
I am telling you
what's wrong with him.
Is it cancer?
Yeah, tumour in his bladder.
What timing.
Yeah, you could say that.
I could say that, yes.
I did just say that, didn't I?
yeah, you did just say that.
Every time you go on holiday,
something bad happens.
Well, it's not just a holiday.
I've got work too
and that's harder to cancel.
A visit to
your beloved dad
is easier to cancel than work?
-Oh! I get it.
-You actually do get it.
Yeah, it's true.
I just don't know
if I can burden a friend
with a dying dog.
Might only have two weeks
and we wouldn't be around.
If he's in a lot of pain,
you should put him down now.
Mmm.
Dogs don't show
their suffering.
That's why we love them.
Is that why we love them?
Dear daughter,
you know you can't
keep him around
just for your sake.
I'm just not sure we can
say goodbye that fast
and get on a plane.
Don't hang onto him.
It's the kindest thing
you could do.
Maybe.
I'll look after him.
No, you've already got plans,
don't you?
I've already
changed things around.
I don't want him to suffer.
You can't postpone your trip.
Dad said I should put him
down now, not prolong it.
Oh, right. Well, your f*cking
father would say that.
Sorry, Kirby was his gift.
I feel like he's got
a say in it.
Of course.
What does he think
about your film?
I haven't talked to him
about it yet.
Oh.
Well, you could arrive
to a house full of stray gays
and he won't have time
for you or Frances.
Maybe.
I picked up mince from
the butcher, and I read that
if you put the tablets
in that, he should eat it.
If that doesn't work,
get the vet to make it
into a flavoured liquid.
Yeah, if he changes
energy levels or appetite,
you let me know.
Sorry.
Yeah, well, the teaching
helps pay for the trip over,
but we will see him.
We're staying with him.
Yeah,
we're staying with him, Mum.
I'm going so I can see Dad,
so, yeah, of course.
Listen, I've got to go,
but, uh, if he changes
even his gait
or... or sleeping patterns,
you let me know, OK?
Bye.
Are you OK, Mum?
I should have said,
"I love you."
To Kirby?
No, to Mum. I just said, "Bye."
I should have said,
"I love you."
Have a good flight.
All good?
Yeah, all good.
What did you want to talk about?
It's OK. Now's not a good time.
It's fine. Tell me.
OK.
I wanna live with Jimpa
for a bit.
What do you mean?
Mm, I was thinking
I could do Year 11
in Amsterdam with Jimpa.
- No way.
- Why not?
He's still recovering
from a stroke.
That was three years ago.
No way! It's an important year
next year and you're only 16.
And we're your parents, not Jim.
Why don't you wait?
Do it after graduation.
You can have a gap year.
Because I need to experience
a bigger q*eer community
than my shitty LGBT club
at school
in my shitty little city.
But you love school.
I used to.
Is that why
you packed so much?
You just thought
you'd stay there?
Oh! What a waste
of a return flight.
We could have saved a fortune!
OK, let's talk about this later.
But you asked me
to talk about it.
I feel like I need to
give you my full attention.
I don't think I can do that
at the moment.
OK, well,
let's just all relax.
Mum?
Mmm?
It's OK.
Kirby was
a gift from my father.
One day he turned up with
an uncontrollable puppy.
I didn't want him,
but I didn't get a choice.
Says a lot about my dad.
The day my mum
gave birth to me,
my grandfather got on
the first flight to Adelaide.
I wanted us to be alone
with our newborn baby.
But he rang from
the front door
with a painting.
And my mum
was so happy to see him.
And she said to me, "Frances,
"this person will
tell you about art
"and politics and theatre.
"He will challenge you to be
the best version of yourself."
I simply said,
"Frances, this is
your grandpa, Jim."
But he thought 'grandpa'
sounded too old.
So he gave himself a new name.
He said...
"Hello, Frances. I'm Jimpa."
The thing is,
I don't think I would be here
openly trans, non-binary,
q*eer if it wasn't for him.
That's him sometime in the '50s.
He loves art
and he loves to get naked.
And he still has a painting
that he sat for years ago
which hangs
in his apartment in Amsterdam
for all to see.
He married my grandmother,
Katherine, in 1973.
They had Emily, my aunt,
and Hannah, my mum.
Right after my mum was born,
Jimpa came out as g*y.
My grandma got really skinny
after this,
as well as a big perm,
and everyone complimented her
on how amazing she looked.
Uh, so, obviously it was
devastating for her.
Uh, we expect
the... the narrative
of a husband
coming out to his wife
to follow the notes of
a big betrayal in a marriage.
But she chose to
respond differently
than what was expected.
Um, they both decided
on a new bond -
to stay together,
uh, to co-parent.
Uh, also to have
other relationships.
But they chose kindness
rather than conflict.
Jimpa always argues.
Look, mate, you know...
I don't think...
He worked in politics
when my mum was little.
And then during
the A*DS crisis,
he moved to Amsterdam
to work in public health.
And he's never
stopped fighting
for those he loves
and for who he is.
All the while still enjoying
getting naked.
So it's a personal story
about my parents,
um, and my main drive is to
tell the story of the kindness
they showed to each other
over that period
rather than the conflict.
So it's a drama
without conflict.
But...
...isn't drama by very
definition conflict?
I think it's possible
to make a compelling film
avoiding it completely.
I don't think it is.
I think you're wrong.
See, is that conflict?
Well, I think that's someone
expressing a different opinion.
A conflict of opinion.
Therefore...
...conflict.
Maybe.
So he's not
just my grandpa.
I think he's my true
forever hero.
Any questions?
We should
wake Frances up.
Don't. Let them sleep.
It's probably just
a passing fancy,
the excitement of travel.
So you do think it's a bad idea.
I think once Frances
spends some time with Dad,
they'll soon change their mind.
Really?
Frances idolises him.
But they only see each other
once every couple of years
and Frances has built up
this idea of him in their head.
And Dad can be very appealing,
but just because
he's got all these great,
very admirable ideals
doesn't mean he necessarily
puts them into practice.
Can you imagine
living with Dad for a year?
No.
And we don't want to be
the ones saying no to Frances.
It doesn't help.
I'm quite happy saying no.
But you prefer Frances to be
disappointed by your father
rather than by you.
Or...
. ..we let Frances come to
understand Jim a bit better...
. ..and make a better choice
then.
Their food's getting cold.
So the food gets cold.
Let them sleep.
Is making our daughter go hungry
really worth avoiding
this conversation?
Do you think Frances would
rather we use the word 'child'
than 'daughter'?
Why don't we ask them?
Richard!
What a beautiful sight!
There he is.
Richard.
Smiling.
Hey.
- Oh, look at you!
- Oh!
Oh, wow!
Sorry, we didn't sleep
much on the plane.
Why are you
apologising? Do we smell?
No, it's 'cause Richard's
so perfectly put together.
You're so stylish.
Oh, thank you.
Welcome, my smelly,
unfashionable Australians.
Welkom in Amsterdam.
Where's Dad?
The Professor is "working".
He sent me to collect you
with the boat.
-Oh, we're going by boat?
-Yeah, I know.
It's ridiculous and touristy,
but he said that Frances
always loved the boat.
I'm not sure
we'll all fit in.
Oh, let's just go. I really
need to eat something.
Oh!
- Shut up.
- OK. Alright.
Let me grab this.
- Wait, are they...
- Nuh-uh-uh.
Sorry!
As his valued
research assistant,
do you do many domestic errands?
Who said anything about
research assistant?
I'm his damn
everything assistant.
At least for now.
Is everything OK?
He's leaving the university
at the end of the month.
Well, that wasn't gonna
last forever.
Mmm.
Does that mean you won't
have a job after that?
He says I will,
but I don't see how.
I'd follow him to the end of
the earth anyway.
You know what he'd say to that?
"Be grateful
and f*ck' move on."
Oh, it's so nice to see you.
Well, it's really
nice to see you too.
Yeah.
Where'd you get
that piece of sh*t?
Oh!
Why don't you borrow
one of mine?
No, no, don't you dare!
It's only got 27 shots.
-Oh, OK, well, get it...
-Dad!
-Why not?
-Give it back.
It's mine!
Very good.
Photographer!
Like father, like child.
Whoa.
Makes me sound
like a kid.
Hiya! We're very wet!
Hey, um, I've been
meaning to ask.
Would you prefer
'daughter' or 'child'?
Hmm, I mean,
'daughter's not great,
but, um, I don't want you
to be calling me 'child'
when I'm an adult.
Dad still calls me child.
Because you'll always be
my child!
Hello!
It's the celebrity children!
Come here, come here.
Oh!
Never be afraid
to be called a child.
It's humbling.
- Harry!
- Hi! Hello!
-How are you?
-My glorious grand-thing!
Oh, you're all soggy.
I told you it was going
to rain today, Richard.
No hugs for you.
You also told me
to take out the boat.
Yeah, think for yourself.
That's what I pay you for.
Old man, that is the one thing
you do not pay me for.
Oh, years later and not one
single sexual favour.
Dad!
No, he's not good for anything
except making tea.
So go make tea, assistant.
Dad, you can't say this stuff.
You don't know what you're
talking about, Professor.
- You never let me make tea.
- I'll make the tea.
Yes, you go, Harry.
Milk in first,
otherwise you'll...
. ..get pregnant.
- Yeah.
- Look. Look, look, look, look.
Look what I got out.
-Ooh!
-Look.
Decades worth.
Here. Uh, this one.
'Dorothy's Best Friend'.
Hmm! What does that mean?
Oh!
My dear grand-thing,
you have so much to learn.
That's when there was
such a thing as subtext.
The unnamed.
When we had to use euphemism
to show solidarity,
to codify and identify.
That sounds horrifying.
You're all text now.
No subtext.
No nuance.
Yeah, well, it's tough
not being repressed.
'Talk with us, not about us'.
Hobart, 1988.
Yeah.
You see, Richard? Good memory.
Well done, Professor.
Ah, this one. '3rd
National Conference on A*DS'.
We asked everyone with HIV
to take the stage.
That was when
we first discovered
that 50% of the staff
were positive.
Including me.
It was a scary moment,
but rallying.
More than half would be dead
within only a few years.
As a friend of mine once said,
"The toll of being
at the epicentre
"was very large."
'It's Not Just a Phase Week,
1984'.
- Very cute.
- Hmm.
These are all for you.
What?
-I'm bequeathing them to you.
-Why?
What, my daughter
doesn't want them?
Surely there's an archive
you can donate them to?
Well, yes, but they're for you.
I'll definitely take them.
I feel a bit ambushed -
this is quite morbid,
like there's gonna be
the reading of a will.
They're just badges!
Why have you
decided to do this now?
What's the doctor say?
You worry too much.
I thought Frances would
like them and she did.
They!
Oh!
Would they like to give me
another hug
or are they too busy
self-identifying?
Why do you have to be
so provocative all the time?
Oh, I missed you.
I love you too much!
I love you too, Richard.
- Hmm.
- My beautiful assistant.
I don't want your badges either,
but thank you very much.
Oh, sh*t!
It took me all morning.
- I cried twice.
- You did not!
Three times.
I might have a little lie-down.
I didn't get much sleep
on the plane.
-Mmm.
-You don't want your tea?
Blatant display of
heterosexuality.
That's enough now!
Oh, oh, oh.
There's one
I especially wanted to find.
Mmm?
That's you.
Yes!
Hmm?
hmmm?
You should have woken me up.
You're too cute
when you sleep.
Why would I wake you up?
I wanted to get through
some work
so I could spend the day
with Dad and Frances.
They know you have to work.
Yeah, I know, but it doesn't
mean they like it.
Are you afraid that Frances
will spend some time alone
with Jim?
At some point,
he is gonna hurt Frances.
Yeah. Isn't that your plan?
Frances spends time with Jim.
He eventually disappoints them
and they change their mind
about wanting to live here
for a year.
Yeah, but there is
a difference between
being disappointed
and being hurt.
So talk to our child.
Tell them what to expect.
He said, "I love you,"
to Frances.
And to Richard.
He never used to say,
"I love you."
He used to say, "You show love
"with actions, not empty words."
He's softened since the stroke.
He's different.
Your cunning plan
might not work.
Oh. Maybe.
Hmm.
Go get 'em, tiger.
I love it. I really do.
I do find it hard to believe
there wasn't any conflict
when your dad
finally left you at...
...13.
Conflict would have been there
even if it's repressed.
I think any 13-year-old
would be sad
being without their father.
Why did he leave, then?
After staying with your mother
for so long after coming out?
Uh, work.
As a g*y man and a political
one, he hit a ceiling,
and, uh...
. ..he needed to find
opportunities
in a more progressive
part of the world.
OK.
So there is conflict there
for him.
Do I stay with my family and
sacrifice my own ambition?
Or do I owe it to myself
to fully explore who I am
and my opportunities?
But he hit the ceiling
and he made the choice
at the expense of his family.
The family accepted him,
loved him,
he was able to be himself,
but...
...still left them.
You weren't hurt
or angry at your father
leaving?
Uh, we understood
that he needed to leave.
What matters to me
is how hard everyone tried
to do the right thing.
Uh, it's not important
if I was hurt or angry.
What if I'm angry now,
for instance?
You're angry now?
Mmm. Would it help
to express it?
Uh, I'm not so sure.
And would it help
with this meeting
or us working together?
Definitely not.
O... ok, um...
f*ck me.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello.
I bet he hasn't
left one for you.
Oh!
You should take it
while you're here.
I'm sorry we've taken over
your bedroom.
Well, it's definitely not
my bedroom.
And I've been staying here
less and less.
You think...
Oh!
It was convenient for a while,
but now not so much.
Have you moved
closer to Amsterdam?
No, no, it's just I need to
work when I'm in town
and, you know, your father
takes up a lot of time.
He does demand attention.
I've been wanting to talk
to him about it for a while.
I see.
He's still struggling.
Emily said.
Since your sister left,
Richard's been doing
most of the heavy lifting.
He has sent me a lot of articles
and grant applications
to finish off
and smooth out when I can.
You shouldn't be
the one covering for him.
I'm sorry none of us
have been here to help.
You can stop looking after him.
Hmm.
You sound like him.
Over the years, he has taught me
to need him
less and less, but...
But he's still hurt
that you're not around as much.
Hmm. Yeah.
Thank you, Matti.
Hot, I hope.
If only you were hot.
You have to be careful
with steroids
if you're taking warfarin.
Why are you taking steroids?
A date the other week
said I looked too skinny.
- A date?
- Yes!
He means a hook-up.
You've looked exactly the same
for 97 years, Mark.
You've had no problem before.
Whoo!
Steroids don't work on old men.
I sense you've already tried.
Of course.
But what are you into, Frances?
What can we help you with?
Uh, 'into'?
Are you a l*sbian?
Don't be so old.
What? That's not
a bad question, is it?
You can't be a l*sbian
if you're not a woman.
Oh.
I like women
and I'm also attracted to
people who don't identify
as a gender either way
but are a bit femme.
I love how much your generation
knows what they want.
It doesn't sound like anything.
It's not a preference,
it's a non-preference.
So...
. ..you don't like men.
Cis men.
p*nis?
I don't know.
Jim, can we talk about
how unsatisfying
getting your p*nis sucked
is now?
Oh, you too?
I feel it's getting
lower and lower
on my pleasure scale.
That's because
you go straight for hole.
Oh, you're right.
I do love a*s too much.
Frances has still not
stated a preference.
Well, genitals aren't really
what attracts me to people.
How are we talking
about genitals
all of a sudden, anyway?
Because you're talking to us.
It's all for show, Frances.
We mostly talk about
real estate now.
In that regard, Amsterdam
has gotten much better.
You're such a conservative.
I'm just being encouraging
towards Frances's idea
of moving here.
You know,
Amsterdam used to be about
squatter protests and housing
rights, but the government's
free-market push is a disgrace.
None of my students will be
able to buy in their lifetimes.
And the sale of
social housing
has only increased the problem.
Says the man who owns
one of those apartments.
Hmm!
This is their way of getting
me to change the subject.
A clean desk is
a sign of a sick mind.
Sit anywhere you like.
I won't be long.
Hello!
Hi!
Who is it?
It's me.
You should say your name,
not just hello.
Don't know who it is or
what you want, otherwise.
You do like self-identifying,
you hypocrite.
Hello, it's me,
your daughter, Hannah.
That's it? Just a daughter?
And a filmmaker
and a mother and a woman.
Is that better?
Impressive.
So Mirjam gave me her key today
'cause someone didn't
leave one behind for me.
Who else has a key
to the apartment?
No-one.
Like my body,
my home is my temple.
And what happens
if you have another stroke?
Oh, god.
If I have another stroke,
even if you're here,
go out and have a coffee.
Jimpa!
No, I'm deadly serious.
Let me die.
A diminished life
is no life for me at all.
A diminished life?
That's a little bit ableist,
Jimpa.
So, is that why
no-one else has a key?
Well, of course.
No-one.
That's everyone
off the hook, then.
No-one feels the need
to check up on me.
And if you keep calling
and there's no answer,
wait a week before
you break the door down.
I should be dead by then.
Richard has a key.
Oh, yes, Richard has a key.
And although my sister lives
in another country,
I bet she still has a key.
Well, of course Emily has a key.
She lived here for three years
while she looked after me
like an angel.
I should have a key.
You most certainly
will need a key,
if you're gonna live here.
Have you talked
about that, have you?
Yeah, it was my idea, even
before Frances mentioned it.
I was thinking she needed...
They, Jim. They.
. ..they needed to get out of
Adelaide
before it suffocates them.
I love Adelaide, by the way,
and I'm very glad you made
something of yourself there
when I wasn't able to.
- Thank you.
- f*cking miracle.
Yeah, it's an idea
that Frances just had.
We haven't had a chance
to talk about it much.
Even the small part of Amsterdam
that I saw with Jimpa today
just felt so good.
It feels like a proper city.
Hm. The timing
couldn't be more perfect.
I... I think it's perfect.
What do you think?
I think Frances is too young.
For what?
Well, Harry doesn't mean
'too young' exactly.
I think what Harry means is
that you're a child for such
a short amount of time
and then there's so much life
that happens afterwards.
But that time as a young
person, as a young family,
is limited and then...
. ..you know, then it's gone
and you can't get it back.
But also Amsterdam is full of
people who've had to leave
in order to survive
or, you know,
find who they are or...
Like, you know, my own father,
for instance.
So who am I to say what...
what a person needs?
Are you making your
pea and ham soup?
Yeah.
Yeah, for a little gathering
we're having tomorrow.
- Ham?
- Yeah.
Dad used to make it for me
all the time.
Don't worry, I'll make
something for you vegans.
Right,
I'll make something for us.
Dennis?
I want you to meet
my grand-thing, Frances.
You two should
sit down and talk.
You know Dennis.
We used to be together.
Hi, Dennis.
And your grandfather
is a huge c**t.
And now we're
just good friends.
Oh, the best,
best friends.
- Let's chat later, OK?
- Please, yeah.
- Great.
- Uh, everyone!
Everyone!
If you haven't met my
grand-thing, this is Frances.
Hi, Frances!
I want you to introduce
yourself to them.
Yes, Frances is one of
those young people
who... suddenly has no gender,
for some reason.
So please respect that.
Uh, anyway,
I know most of you
might be aware that my life
is going through
a small transition right now.
I am finishing up my work
at the university.
-No, no. Boo!
-No, no, no, no.
I know, I know.
But it's time I moved on from...
. ..some of you old farts
anyway.
But... but don't worry -
I'm not ready to sit behind
my geraniums just yet.
In fact,
I've just been on a call
with a certain organisation
in Helsinki
about a job opportunity.
Yes. That's in Finland,
boys and girls.
So I just wanted you all
to be aware.
They haven't made up
their minds.
I haven't made up my mind.
But I want to acquaint you
with the possibility...
Ok, so... ok, what do i do?
Keep your body still
except for your arms.
Uh-huh. OK, yeah.
Like I said, the arms.
-Arms.
-And marching.
Marching, marching.
Make the arms, like,
intentional.
Tiny steps. Uh-huh.
And... no.
What?
-It has intention.
-OK, show me, show me.
You don't have to go,
like, fast all the time.
You can go slow, slow.
Slow, slow, slow.
- Ba-ba-ba.
- Hey!
Soft. Soft. Soft.
And...and do soft.
Whoo-hoo!
I knew it.
Hmm.
Leading Frances on like that.
Oh?
Encouraging the idea of
them moving over
and then the next minute saying
you've got job opportunities
in another country.
When did you organise that?
Mirjam hadn't said anything.
Oh, you've seen Mirjam?
Yeah, she's at the party now.
Is she?
Yeah.
And she gave me her key
yesterday, remember?
Oh, yes.
See, sometimes I don't know
if you've lost your memory
or you just don't care
about these things.
Come here.
We haven't had
nearly enough cuddles yet.
OLDER Mmm!
I'm sure it was just
a passing fancy.
The excitement of
coming to see me.
Are you taking a new job
in a new country?
Shouldn't I?
Why don't you retire and just...
And be an old man?
-Water my geraniums?
-Yeah, why not?
Because there's so much
to fight for.
Because work is everything.
Oh, it isn't everything.
Oh, look who's talking.
We need to feel useful,
the two of us, hmm?
Mmm.
Mm-hm! Mademoiselle!
Hmm. OK.
But Professor Jim
said to me that
teenagers can't be
into polyamory.
They just like to cheat.
Jim's never been
monogamous in his life.
Also, non-monogamous
is so different
from polyamorous.
True.
Well, I'm still
working that out.
We know, baby, we know.
We know.
I'm definitely into polyamory.
I'm a big believer
in compersion.
Oh, my God! I love you.
I love you too!
So, what do we think?
- Wow!
- Cute!
It looks cute on you.
-Oooh!
-It's cute.
Thank you.
Frances certainly doesn't
see you as useless.
I thought you didn't want
Frances to move over here.
Well, it's not up to me
to tell them what to do.
I want to support Frances.
Well, so do I.
Ah!
Hey, where are you?
I'm standing in the hallway.
OK.
Um, can I go out with Isa?
She's a friend of Richard,
she's 19
and she likes that
I know about compersion.
- What's compersion?
- Compersion.
It's taking pleasure in
witnessing someone else's
pleasure
but not related to you.
It's a polyamory thing.
OK.
'OK' I can go out
with Isa, 'OK'?
She's 19.
Well, does Richard have
this 19-year-old Isa's
phone number?
I got her number.
-She's spunky, Hannah.
-Spunky? Ugh.
Have fun, Frances,
and don't come back till
you've got a story to tell.
Thank you, Jimpa.
She's hot.
And smart.
And very nice.
You set this up.
Frances is 16!
I remember you at 16.
Yeah, but you do realise
Frances has no experience
whatsoever?
Really?
Yeah, it's like they know
the lyrics to the song
but they've never
sung it out loud.
You don't know if you can sing
until you sing.
Hmm.
Are you ready to see Amsterdam?
Yeah!
Here you can go... I think
it's open 24 hours, so...
You don't sing?
Oh, no, I love to sing.
You're cute.
To the l*sbian bar!
Yes, let's go!
I'm definitely
not a woman,
but I'm still into women.
Is it OK that I'm here?
-Roosje.
-Mmm?
This is Frances.
They're non-binary.
Are they welcome here?
-Oh, f*ck, yes.
-Yes.
- Cheers!
- Ah, ja, ja, ja.
She knows her sh*t.
So you and Bis are... something?
We've been together
since high school.
Since before he transitioned.
And I like his new,
uh, qualities.
His more masc energy.
What?
And... and you two are...
are monogamous or...
That's what's great
about being q*eer, right?
How we state things -
by what our boundaries are,
by what we want.
Yeah.
I want you, Isa.
Exactly.
For example.
Exactly.
Right.
You're still cleaning up!
You're still cleaning up too.
You didn't want
to go out with the others?
Not really.
You?
No.
Well,
if you're gonna stay up
like an anxious mother...
. ..you can have another drink.
'Anxious mother' sounds old.
Not old.
Older.
Aren't you, like, 10 years
older than me?
-Nothing!
No lovers waiting for you, then?
Just a few boys here and there.
How about you sing me a song?
What?
Come on!
Please.
What do you know
about compersion?
It's the opposite
to jealousy.
It's a polyamory thing.
How do you know about it?
It's just wanting
someone you love
to be happy and fulfilled.
It's a nice idea.
Were you pretending to sleep?
No, I think I was
trying to sleep.
Did you have fun?
-I had the best time, Mum.
-Oh!
Yay, I'm so glad.
So you liked Isa?
I'm in love.
Guys.
But I'm in love, Dad.
- Yeah, great.
- Oh!
Oh, don't!
- There you go.
- Thank you.
Tell us about your film.
Thank you, Matti. Hot, I hope.
It's impossible for it
to be any hotter, Jim.
Yes, you haven't told us
about your film yet.
I'm just trying to cast it
right now.
Why don't you just put your
mouth under the machine, Jim?
Your film?
Hannah hasn't told me a thing
about it. She's avoiding it.
Why?
So she's bisexual?
Who?
Isa, the student.
There's no such thing
as bisexuality.
- Oh!
- OK, maybe tone it down a bit.
Tone what down?
What? I'm just trying to talk
about these things openly.
Are you sure you talking openly
isn't just you wanting to
express your opinion?
So, what is a conversation
except a collision of opinions?
Uh, a conversation can also be
working towards agreement.
Says the only straight person
at the table.
Yeah, but, you know,
it's more complex
than you are making it out to be
because you have actually
been in love with women.
My mother, for instance.
Is...
Is that what your film is about?
About what?
Me and your mother?
Not exactly.
If you say you're bi,
you're just confused.
If you're attracted to
the same sex, you're g*y.
It's as simple as that.
If you say otherwise,
you're in denial.
- Here we go.
- I never said Isa was bi.
You know how many men
have said to me
that they're straight
while sucking my c*ck?
You can't be straight
with a dash of gayness.
He's just being provocative
for the sake of it.
- Mmm.
- Ignore him.
No, I once heard someone say
that they're 'mostly straight'.
Now, what the hell
does that mean?
They're just cowards.
So, Isa's a l*sbian.
What's wrong with that?
Well, it's not useful...
"Not useful"?
Dad, maybe just let
Frances speak.
Well, you know...
Are you worried that
Frances has had sex
with a 19-year-old l*sbian?
-Uh, I haven't had sex.
-I'm not worried.
And don't put words in my mouth.
I'm not.
It's fine if that's
what they want.
And by 'they', do you mean
plural or singular?
Because only one of them
is a consenting adult,
so only one of they
is able to consent.
And I think that's the l*sbian.
It's not my place
to tell Frances what to do.
Well, that's nonsense.
I tell you what to do
all the time
and whether or not
you wanna do it is up to you.
So, about this l*sbian.
She's not a l*sbian.
She's q*eer.
Shhh!
-See? There's that word again.
-What, q*eer?
-q*eer.
-Here we go.
This is the exact same
conversation
we've been having for
the past 30 years.
Dear, you might be q*eer.
- But I'm g*y.
- Yes.
And I've spent my whole life
fighting for it
as... as a visible, g*y,
HIV-positive man.
Because someone had to.
-We all have.
-Yeah, we all have.
- I understand that, but...
- Yeah, that's true.
We haven't lived through that.
Mum.
I think what
Dad's trying to say is...
No, no, what I'm
trying to say is
if Frances wants to f*ck
a hot 19-year-old
who calls themselves
Greenpeace Rainbow
Warrior Princess,
they can do it,
but calling everyone bisexual
negates the rights that I have
demanded and fought for.
Yes, it's like
we had to fight
so hard for same-sex rights -
things Frances
doesn't have to deal with.
But that's a good thing,
isn't it?
Hey.
Hey!
You know, walking out like that
could be seen as quite hostile.
Don't be too disappointed.
They're all still hurting.
Oh, by 'they', do you mean
singular or plural?
'Cause you're just being
wilfully confusing.
I know.
Jimpa is...
He's so determined
to say that Isa
has to be a l*sbian.
But for him, 'l*sbian' means
attracted to women, right?
And I'm not a woman, Mum.
Then why didn't you point
that out to Jimpa?
Do you know
how much easier it is
for you to do it than for me?
Do what?
To stand up for me.
You don't think
I stand up for you?
Well, this is what he's like.
How are you gonna do this
when I'm not here?
-It's Isa.
-Go ahead, answer it.
Oh, hi there.
Where are you
and what are you doing?
Oh, nowhere interesting.
Doing nothing much.
I doubt that,
but I was wondering
if you wanted to go for a ride
with me.
If you need to ask your mom
or Jim, that's cool.
No, I don't need to do that.
Australians are
afraid of the sun.
What's over there?
- There?
- Mmm.
It's a big cruising spot. 24/7.
Oh, is that why
you brought me here?
Do you want to go take a look?
Uh...
Did you wanna
talk anything through?
I think I'm
a bit sick of talking.
Is that ok?
Of course.
No, I tried that.
It's not working.
It says I have two more attempts
before it locks me out.
My grand-thing
has done a grand thing.
Let's celebrate.
Hmm?
Are you gonna tell Hannah?
You don't think I should?
I think sex is simpler for her.
Mmm.
I feel sorry for straight women.
Having to lie there,
people assuming you
just want to be f*cked.
No-one talks about it.
They just do what's expected.
The benefits of who we are
is you can't assume
anything about anyone.
You always have to ask
for what they want.
State what you want.
Consent's sexy.
Understanding what
someone wants.
Sure, as long as it's not like
instructions for
a washing machine.
Has Mum talked to you about
me staying in Amsterdam?
Your parents love you.
You're very supported by them.
And?
And it sounds like
schools in Australia
are much better now.
School's fine.
It's not like I'm... I'm
getting beaten up or anything.
I'm not scared exactly,
just not...
. ..connecting.
I'm tired of the feeling
that I'm somehow
rubbing my queerness
in everyone's face.
Hmm.
That might never stop.
But it will never stop us.
You're the president of
an LGBT club at school.
So it... it can't be so bad.
Maybe you don't need to
leave your family just yet.
But you had to leave
your family.
No, I didn't have to.
I wanted to.
What do you mean?
Katherine offered to move
with me with the children.
I decided to come to
Amsterdam on my own.
Does Mum know this?
I'm not sure.
What does your grandma say?
That she thought it best
that they stayed in Adelaide.
For Hannah's sake.
She was only 13.
That's a lie.
Most of the people
who left home,
their families and came here,
they did so because they had to.
Mmm.
It was a matter of survival,
of having a future.
But not me.
I was purely selfish.
Go on.
It'll do you good.
Did you... connect with Isa?
Did you understand
what Isa wanted?
Not at all.
I forgot to ask.
Nothing fit into
my idea of things.
I don't even know what I liked.
I just thought things
would be clearer.
Hello?
Oh, hi.
Nice to meet you, Tilda.
I don't want to play her
as too passive.
But she does seem to sacrifice
her needs and wants
for the sake of her husband.
Mmm.
Yeah, you could say that.
Because even though he's g*y,
I mean, it's still the man
who gets to go
and explore himself
while the woman stays at home.
Yeah,
you could say that too.
I mean, and it's
still the man that,
you know, doesn't actively
look after his children.
Which is...
I mean, that's probably
the reality for many.
Right? I mean,
especially in that time.
I just thought that might
not be how you want to...
...portray him.
Or her.
All... all those,
uh, thoughts
are really interesting, um...
-Was that about your film?
-Yes.
Have you made up with Frances?
I didn't think
I needed to.
You do know it's actually OK
to disagree and say hurtful
things to someone?
You didn't have to push so hard.
Is this about the fact
that Frances had sex?
Oh. You didn't know.
How could I know?
I'm sure Frances will tell you
all the details in no time.
Don't worry.
They've got more of
a head start than I ever had.
When I was Frances's age,
I didn't even have the word
to describe the way I...
I know, Dad.
But Frances has all the words.
Frances will be fine.
They can...
. ..idolise me from afar.
That's just the way I like it.
So you're still going
for the Helsinki job?
Oh, you don't think I should?
What are we cooking?
My osso buco.
I might make something for us.
Oh, f*ck!
-Let me see.
-No, no.
I'm fine. f*ck.
Is it deep?
Does it need stitches?
-No, no, I'm fine.
-Dad?
I don't need
a f*cking hospital! Oh!
Easy.
Just lean here.
Hold it.
Hmm.
Tell me about your film.
Uh...
It's about a couple.
It's about commitment
and our contradictory
feelings about it.
Well, my feelings about it.
And, um...
. ..I don't think people
are getting it.
Hmm.
Do you remember Stephen?
Oh, I loved him so much.
So did Frances.
Yeah. So did I.
But he was a fervent
monogamist, poor thing.
Didn't you tell him
what you wanted?
Yes, and he agreed.
At first.
Until he didn't.
And you didn't change.
I don't believe in monogamy,
dearest.
Oh, he was so lovely.
You don't believe
in monogamy either.
But I also know
how great it can be.
Constancy. Loyalty.
Sounds like you're talking
about a dog. Hmm!
How is the dog anyway?
Oh! I need to call Mum.
I'm not very open.
No. I guess not.
Are you awake?
Are you not hungry?
I was thinking
you should stay here
while I go to London.
Why?
I don't know, just...
. ..gives you the chance
to soak up Amsterdam.
Sounds like you had
a really good time with Isa.
I was...
I was going to tell you.
It's OK, Frances. It's fine.
OK.
I'm excited for you.
It's a big thing.
Jim Hill in Helsinki.
Jani! How are you?
You... you got the study
I sent you?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Fascinating stuff.
Nothing gets my heart racing
like social housing theory.
I mean it, Jim.
-It's good to see you.
-You too.
So this is still
a huge focus for me.
Building scientific capacities
for community groups.
I remember you raised this
even all the way back
at the CDC symposium
at A*DS 2018.
It was in my plenary talk,
the one I gave at the IAS.
We can't keep up.
Oh. You were there, Karolina.
I was, I was, but I still
couldn't keep up!
So...
. ..is this an area
that you'd like
someone in this new
position to focus on?
We were very excited
when you called to say
you'd be in town
and wanted to talk
about the position.
It's such an honour,
personally speaking.
Of course we jumped on
the opportunity to meet up.
We would be honored
to access someone
with your knowledge
and experience.
Yes.
We were talking that
maybe we can even
formalise something
in an advisory capacity
or a board position, when
they come up in three years.
Mmm. Yeah.
While you're here in Helsinki,
I was hoping to take you out
for lunch or dinner.
And why would you want
to do that?
Well, we were very impressed
by Mirjam Oerlemans.
Mirjam?
She's young, but her advocacy
for equality care
aligns really well with some
of our new impact areas.
You've been a kind of mentor
to her for years.
10 years.
And you're considering her
for this new...
Hence my clumsy invite
to dinner.
You want my opinion on
Mirjam Oerlemans?
Well, you're her reference.
But we respect your opinion.
Your honesty especially,
it's legendary.
I wish we could do dinner,
but...
. ..I came without a bag,
and I... I have work back home.
But you don't need dinner
for me to tell you Mirjam...
. ..would be perfect.
She's pragmatic. Evidence-based.
Her success is focusing
on young people
and marginalised groups.
Her stellar
rights-based approach
has meant actual
policy change, not just...
'Cause that is
beautiful. OK?
Hello!
Hello!
Say your name.
-Why?
-Hi, guys.
Just dropping
the professor home.
You need to say your name,
not just hello.
Otherwise, we don't know
who you are
or what you want.
Who else would it be?
Uh, I think it's time for bed.
Well, how did it go?
-Oh, wet and miserable.
-Hmm.
But really good.
Let me, uh...
It went really well.
They'd be lucky to have me.
It reminded me... Oh.
. ..of all the ideas...
Of the ideas i still have.
Of the energy I have.
Ahhh.
What... what time is it?
Let's get you to bed, Professor.
I think
she could be interesting.
She had some interesting ideas.
But at least she's invested.
One second.
Have fun.
I think it makes sense
for you to stay here.
Mm-hm.
This was always gonna happen.
Don't make your mum feel guilty.
Yes, don't shame your mother
for working, Frances.
I'm not.
You rather have a mother
who stayed home
and cooked biscuits for you?
You want that kind of a mother?
Yep. I should go. I need
to go and get the train.
No, I don't want
that kind of a mother.
Yeah. Good.
Oh! For f*ck's sake!
Um, originally I had said
Frances might come.
Tell your mother you'll be fine.
Or tell me nothing.
Hmm.
But I... I did want to tell you.
I just... I hadn't yet.
That's not what I
meant.
It's fine.
You didn't have to tell me.
OK?
OK? Of course it's OK.
Uh...
You don't want to stay
in Amsterdam?
Do you want to come with me?
But Dad's fine. He's been
to Finland for an interview.
You need to tell your father
that he's being
ridiculous and selfish.
He doesn't need me
to tell him those things.
Tell him he needs to retire
with some f*cking dignity.
We don't need to tell him
anything.
He's feeling old, Mum.
Have you talked to him
about your film yet?
Uh, kind of.
You're worried that
he's not gonna give you
his divine blessing?
I just don't want to get
into an argument.
Then he'll tell you
there are far more
interesting parts in his life,
so be ready.
Maybe.
You never come visit anymore,
Mirjam.
-You told me not to.
-I never!
You did.
You did.
Thank you for the kind words
you said about me.
I meant them.
You could have told me.
I didn't know you were going
for the same job
until you announced it
in front of everyone
at your party.
If you'd known earlier,
would you still have
gone for the position?
If there is a job,
think of Richard, won't you?
Get him out of my hair.
Two hugs.
Aren't you lucky?
I can't
believe I feel jealous.
It's OK, I understand.
It's not ok.
It's stupid. It's so f*cking...
It's so f*cking stupid.
Maybe things were
just a bit fast.
My God.
It's so immature of me,
isn't it?
Can we just go home?
We will.
Talk to Jimpa about your film
and let's go home.
I will.
I don't think I want the job.
I think...
I'll stay in Amsterdam.
I... I think Amsterdam could be
really great for you, Frances.
I'll stay here
so you can live with me.
-Are you sure?
-Of course.
It'll mean that you'll come
visit more often as well.
Yeah.
What do you say, grand-thing?
- OK.
- Good.
Is that what you want?
Yeah, I mean,
sounds amazing, Jimpa.
Good.
f*ck me.
Your cunning plan
really didn't work out
as expected, did it?
How old are you?
Old enough.
Hm. Just wanting to be safe,
you know.
Always safe.
I once f*cked an older guy,
then discovered he'd escaped
from a nursing home.
The perils of being
a daddy chaser.
Hmm!
So come on.
Chase me.
I did say I regretted Frances
not spending
enough time with him.
Mmm.
It is a great city.
-Really good cafes.
-Mmm.
Good schools too.
Hey, Richard.
Uh, I don't know
what they've told you...
. ..but two days ago,
you had a bad stroke.
So you've been in a coma
to protect your brain.
And now they've taken you
out of the coma
to see how you are.
And they told us that you can
hear us now. Is that right?
Apparently you can
squeeze my hand.
So if you can hear me, Dad,
can you squeeze my hand?
OK.
So we'll do once for yes,
two for no.
OK.
So are you OK?
I mean, are you in any pain?
No? Good. OK.
And do you know who I am?
It's me, Hannah, your daughter.
And a filmmaker
and a woman and a mother.
And Frances is here as well,
your grandchild.
Hi, Jimpa.
Don't worry, Dad, OK?
I know what to do.
OK, I know.
Do you feel like you?
No, of course you don't.
Stupid question.
Strange, you not talking.
Shall I tell you about yourself?
OK.
You were born in 1951.
Your parents were Mary and Bill.
You don't believe in monogamy.
Uh, you've had many lovers.
Stephen, who we all loved.
And then when you first
got here, there was a, um...
He was a photographer.
Tall, blonde.
He took that photo of you
that I really loved.
Daan.
His name was Daan.
I remember. Yeah, Daan.
He can't remember?
I'm just making sure that
he understands who he is.
Hey. Sorry.
Oh, God, look at him.
Jesus.
Oh, Hannah, I can't bear that.
- Hey, he can hear you.
- OK.
So he can't
breathe on his own?
- No.
- OK.
Not yet, anyway. Hmm?
Jesus, can they just
prop him up or something?
He looks f*cking horrific
like this.
Why don't we just
sit and talk to him?
OK.
I mean, I don't really know
what to say.
He's usually the one
doing all the talking.
You talk just fine.
Yeah, I know that. I know I do.
Oh, my God, Hannah,
look at our dad.
He can hear you.
Oh, god, dad, you look
like sh*t.
Hi.
It's OK.
Oh.
I am here.
It's OK.
The doctor said there was
a similar patient
who can now sit in the backyard
with a cup of tea
and a dog on their lap
and... and that
there's... there's no reason
Dad couldn't have that life.
Oh, this coffee is awful.
What have they done to the milk?
Look at your risotto.
-Who puts tofu in risotto?
-It's fine.
No. Excuse me!
If it's bad, you send it back.
I've already eaten
a quarter of it.
Jesus, Hannah, they need
to know if their food is bad.
I will tell them and I'll get
them to take it back.
No, please don't.
Why not?
Who puts tofu in risotto?
Would you like me
to remove the tofu?
No, it's fine.
I've... I've already eaten some.
And honestly, it's fine.
Let her have the terrible
risotto if she wants.
Fine, yep.
Just tell the kitchen
that it's terrible.
And look, these eggs, they're
way overcooked. Look at that.
Have a proper look. They're
solid, they don't even move.
Uh, shall I get the kitchen
to make them again?
No, you just tell the kitchen
that they're terrible.
OK.
We could get him a dog
and he could sit
in the garden...
Probably hooked up to machines.
. ..the dog on his lap,
and they... they said that
he might even be able to
communicate a little bit.
In the words
of the doctor, "Maybe,
"and after an extended
and difficult
"period of rehabilitation."
It's still possible.
It could take years, Em,
with no guarantee,
and that's the best possible
scenario.
But it's still a life.
And no-one should give up
their life to look after Dad.
-He wouldn't want that.
-Oh, Jesus, Hannah.
-It's not what he wants.
-How do you know that?
There was
no advanced care directive.
There's no recent will either.
Stephen's still in it.
Because it wasn't updated.
But we know what he wants.
That's not the same.
He told me, Em,
and he was very clear.
If he ends up more diminished,
let him die.
And... and what?
What, we just go and get coffee?
Is that what he said?
You know what Dad's like.
He just says sh*t like I do.
He could have written it down,
he could have... he could have
left instructions,
but he didn't.
And maybe he would be very happy
just sitting in the garden
with a dog on his lap.
That's his idea of hell.
Well, lately
he's been happy
to sit on the couch
and eat yoghurt.
He has been very diminished
since his first stroke, Hannah.
You just haven't been around.
I have seen him sit on
the couch and eat yoghurt.
Oh.
Well, there were these panels
and they were about 3x6
and, well, there were
all different kinds of fabrics
and... and we would decorate
them
with gems and buttons and...
Everything.
Anything.
Whatever we wanted.
Sequins,
stuffed animals.
Hair. Condoms.
But everything you got
you then...
. ..sewed together
to form the quilt.
I felt like we were doing
that every week. I loved it.
How could you love it?
I mean, it's so... sad.
- I think it was just...
- Hmm.
I was 15.
I think it just felt like
family arts and crafts to me.
It was important work
because some didn't get
funerals or celebrations.
Or families were ashamed.
You know, or didn't want
to bring attention
to how they died.
So it's the only way
people who had
an A*DS-related death
are remembered still.
- Mmm.
- One day it's, uh...
"Have you heard about Felix?
"He's gone back home
to his family."
And then we hear
from the family.
Felix suddenly died from
lung cancer
or something ridiculous.
Yeah. We knew the truth.
But you didn't really
know in those early days.
You were constantly checked,
but you were always scared.
Always f*cking scared.
We went on holiday to Spain.
You were there?
-Yeah. Tom.
-Yeah.
- And Jim.
- Jim.
And we went to the g*y beach.
There was this man,
very skeletal man,
with just his, uh...
. ..how do you call this,
swimming, uh...
-Swimmers.
-Swimmers, yeah.
And when he got up from
his bed to go to the sea,
you could see that he was
covered in Kaposi sarcoma.
Hmm.
Honestly, all over his body.
It was horrible.
And I was thinking
what a horrible sight it was,
but at the same time, I thought,
no, but it's also brave
and it's also beautiful
that he felt comfortable
showing his body like this.
But Jim wasn't interested, no.
Jim just pointed to
a small purple spot
on Tom's neck or shoulder
and he said...
"You need to get that
checked, otherwise... eugh."
No!
He just never has
any f*cking tact.
No tact.
Like, none at all.
We were on the beach.
There was no etiquette
about these things.
No.
But still, yeah,
it was... it was rude.
Tom was kind of
a sensitive man,
unlike Jim.
And he said, "Well, thanks, Jim.
"Thank you very much
for ruining my holiday.
"Muchas gracias, darling."
But he did have it.
- Ohh.
- He did have it, yes.
-Yes, and he did get a quilt.
-Yeah.
It's so... it's so horrific.
Sorry. It's terrible.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
It's a terrible story. It's
not funny at all. It's not.
I don't even know
why I'm laughing about it.
Sorry.
Oh, God, I just
don't want him to die.
But I do need
more wine, so...
Coming up.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
I think that... Yeah.
I do, you know.
What?
Want him to die.
Because you don't need him
like they do.
He thinks we have a thing.
I know.
Dark pink skin on the knuckles.
Prominent tendons.
Little cut.
Hmm!
There's a few dark hairs
on the outside of the hand.
Be grateful and f*cking move on.
Do you think Emily knows
Jimpa better than you do?
Do you?
Emily's lived with or close
to Jimpa her whole life
so she's got a... different
relationship to him
than the one we have.
We have?
What's that?
Long-distance.
Mm.
I just wanna know
what Jimpa wants.
You don't think
I know what he wants?
The story you tell
about how he eventually had
to leave to come to Amsterdam,
about how Grandma decided it
was best to stay in Adelaide.
Yeah?
It's not true.
Grandma said to Jim that
she could come with him
and bring the kids.
You could all
move here together.
And Jimpa said no.
He said he wanted
to do it on his own.
He could have
brought you all with him
but he didn't want to.
Is that what he said to you?
Do you think he was lying?
No, I don't think he was.
Are you and Dad monogamous?
Mostly.
Why don't you talk about it?
I'm not as open as Jimpa.
Hmm.
And you were Director of
Public Health for five years.
Do you remember that?
Yeah? And...
Thank you.
And... and...
Emily's here.
Hannah,
you don't have to do it.
No sh*t. I'm not eating ham.
What? f*ck.
No, Hannah,
I'm talking about our dad.
No, it won't be me
that actually kills him.
f*cking hell, Hannah. I'm...
I mean that you don't
have to look after him.
If that's what scares you,
I will do that. You know this.
You're not gonna
have to give up anything.
Emily.
No, it's my f*cking life.
I can help.
I can stay here
and live with them.
Jimpa would love it and...
. ..I can properly experience
this place.
- No.
- Why not?
You were ready to let me
live with him before.
No, no, not necessarily.
You weren't?
Hannah, can you please
say something?
It's not what he wants.
It's OK, Mum.
Sorry, don't take this
as hostile, but I need to go.
Go for a walk.
-Is that Stephen?
-Mmm.
What did you
say to him?
I told him he was
being stubborn
for not updating his will.
I told him I never wanted
anything from him
except for his constancy
and that was the one thing
he refused to give me.
And I asked him what's the use
of all of his ideals
and opinions
if he can't give the people
he loves what they need.
You know,
you're allowed to be angry
or disappointed by him
and still think
the world of him.
I know.
Are you sure?
I'm not sure if you
remember much about
what we talked about
the other day.
Or if you remember
much about anything.
But I'm Hannah,
your youngest daughter.
And a filmmaker.
A mother.
A woman.
And we have to decide
what to do with you today.
You tell me off
for not answering
my phone when you call.
And for not visiting enough
and for working too hard,
but you taught me
those things.
And I'm about to make
a film about you
and I kept saying
I couldn't visit yet
and you kept saying to
block out the time in my diary
and just to tell everyone
I'm working with
that it's happening
and to come for a visit.
This is one way to keep me
around longer than planned!
Are you OK? Are you in any pain?
No? Good.
So I'm gonna tell you
about my film.
It starts in 1977...
...which is obviously
a different and difficult time
to come out as g*y.
But it's extra hard
for my main character
because he's married,
with a toddler
and a newborn baby.
But he does tell his family.
And instead of conflict,
he and his wife work out
how to keep living together
and to raise
their two children.
They start creating
a different bond
where they co-parent
and they share a life and...
...both of them having
various relationships,
some good, some bad, and...
...they go on living like this
for over 10 years.
And, um...
...you know, they build
a home together,
they... cook biscuits.
They coach each other
through life
to make a good life,
a good family.
And because of this, their
youngest daughter grows up
seeing their dad as g*y
and a father as one thing -
as one whole thing, with
no hidden or separated parts.
But then all this changes
when she turns 13.
The father is finding it harder
to get work in Adelaide.
He's considered too political,
too controversial,
and... he feels limited by
the views, the place,
the lifestyle,
and so he says
he needs to leave.
And so, just like that,
after 13 years, he leaves.
But instead of it being
a terrible decision...
. ..it's presented as
something wonderful...
. ..that will prove to open up
all their lives.
And it did.
So that's what the film's about.
It's about a daughter learning
to not need her father so much.
Because she doesn't want him
to stay at home
and cook biscuits for her.
And her being grateful for that.
Do you like that story, Jimpa?
And do you think it's true?
Jimpa.
Do you want to die now?
Em...
Hmm.
You've said goodbye
to him a hundred times.
He'll be OK, Mum.
I just don't want him to feel
alone. He must be so scared.
Hello?
Jimpa always
thought he was right.
You might have heard him say,
"I'm not often wrong
and I'm right this time."
But he did
change his mind sometimes.
He was just used to
fighting for it.
He told me recently
he was selfish.
And it's true that
he could be careless.
He hurt people.
I always said he was my hero.
But I didn't really know him
that well.
I just had an idea of him.
I'm grateful for that idea.
I love you.
I love you too.
You're my hero.
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Jimpa (2025)
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