01x07 - Guys! It's a Cody Briggs night!

[bunniefuu]

- Got you.

- [chuckles]

Got you.

Ooh, got you again.

You're really good at this.

I have surprisingly

good reflexes for a non-athlete.

And you have surprisingly bad reflexes

for someone with 0% body fat.

[chuckles]

- Oh!

- Guys.

It's a letter for Cody Briggs!

- Cody Briggs!

- Yeah, who?

I have a date with pottery Dave.

But I'll cancel.

He'll understand.

I mean, it's Cody Briggs!

- Who's that now?

- Guys. We got a letter for Cody Briggs!

- And that is?

- [all exclaiming]

Cody Briggs!

Start drinking your electrolytes, people.

It's a Cody Briggs night!

- Yes!

- [laughing]

Who? Hi. Who is Cody Briggs?

- Who is Cody Briggs, you ask?

- I did. Like ten times.

- I can't wait to tell you.

- Then just tell me!

[theme music playing]

It all started three years ago.

I had a very not okay look at the time.

Thank God you can't see a flashback.

[Claire] We'd all moved in

a few months earlier

when a strange package came

for a former tenant.

Hey. Do any of you guys

know somebody named Cody Briggs?

- No.

- I don't think so.

He must have lived here before us.

We got a package for him

and it's from Ferrari.

Well, it's someone else's mail,

so we probably shouldn't.

It's a key chain.

Who is this Cody Briggs?

Okay.

I bet Cody Briggs is a dream zaddy,

driving around in his top-down Ferrari,

silver fox hair,

except his chest hair,

which is black as night.

Yeah. And I bet he made his money

using science to develop new

and exciting ways to make women orgasm.

He's like a sex scientist.

Sounds like Cody's living the life.

To Cody Briggs.

Okay, hang on.

I think we just invented a drinking game.

- Yeah!

- Hell, yeah!

Okay, Claire.

Make up something else about Cody.

Okay, well, when he's not helping women

achieve ultimate pleasure,

he's breeding exotic fruit combinations

like appretines, and papples,

and crananaberries.

To Cody!

Grant, you go.

And Cody sold his life rights in the '80s.

Turns out, they made

a little movie based on him called,

oh, I don't know, Top g*n!

[all cheering and laughing]

[all] To Cody!

With each piece of mail,

we unlock a new part of Cody's story.

Behold the Cody Briggs universe. Ta-da!

It's super easy to play.

Yeah, it's an impossible thing

to be bad at.

Give it a try.

Okay, okay, all right.

An ASPCA flyer.

All right, so Cody had a dog

- Ooh, yes.

- Great.

that he loved so much

[all] Aw!

but he didn't know that little Lester

was being eaten inside out

by stomach cancer.

Oh, my God.

And by the time he found out,

it was inoperable,

so he started donating to the ASPCA

to clear his conscience,

but sadly, it didn't work.

So it is possible to be bad at it.

That's on me. I forgot to explain.

It's supposed to not be

the saddest thing you can think of.

For example,

here's a snorkeling school brochure

addressed to Cody Briggs

and a woman named Ramona Delgado.

We think Ramona Delgado

is the love of Cody's life,

who he met on an underwater

snorkeling expedition.

We each drank a beautiful box

of Pinot that night.

Oh, and Claire held my hair as I threw up.

Looking back, that first Cody Briggs night

was the first time we bonded as friends.

And now you get to be a part of that.

Well, that's very kind, Grant,

but it's a little hard to jump

right into a three-year inside joke

as evidenced by my initial attempt.

So I should probably sit this one out.

Come on, Chelsea,

it would mean so much to me if you played.

Oh.

Okay, all right.

I will play.

- Yes!

- Yeah. All right.

You'll be great, don't worry.

Yeah, just don't k*ll any more pets.

Look at you, Chelsea,

finally part of a group

that doesn't have the word

"study" in front of it.

You've made it.

Real friends, inside jokes,

drinking games.

Hope you don't screw it up.

You saw how important this is to Grant.

If you mess it up, it'll destroy him.

He's strong but he's fragile.

Oh, God, the pressure.

There it is. The Cody Briggs mail.

Take a little peak

so you can prepare some fun ideas.

That way you won't dog cancer

all over the night.

[sighs] Chelsea, you pathetic dork,

you've really gotta get into therapy.

Yeah, we've been saying that for years.

- Chelsea, do you wanna?

- Hello! Nothing is happening.

Okay. [chuckles]

Just warming my back against

the stove like a log cabin dweller.

Oh, my God, Chelsea, something's on fire.

[gasps] Oh, no, no, no.

No, no, no!

Is that the Cody Briggs mail?

Oh, God.

The one thing I was afraid

was gonna happen happened.

Irony, you wicked b*tch.

Okay, so it does look like

you ruined Cody Briggs night,

and it may be months before we get

any more Cody mail, but it's okay.

No.

No, it is not okay.

Claire, making friends has always

been easy for you, but not for me.

And I cannot be the reason

tonight is ruined.

- I have to fix this.

- Well, great.

Great, well, we'll fix it together.

It'll be an SBFF adventure.

We'll call it Morgan's Eleven.

- There's only two of us.

- A prequel, I like it, Morgan's Two.

Okay, fine.

This is so exciting. A mail heist.

It is not a mail heist.

Okay, but every sister adventure

needs disguises,

so here, I brought you a mustache.

Get away from me.

Next!

Afternoon

Irma.

That is a beautiful name.

Can I help you?

Sure.

After all, we are just two regular people.

I'm just here for my mail.

I figured I'd save the postal worker

a trip and cut out the middleman.

Not that I'm trying to eliminate your job.

I highly value you.

And your name.

Cody Briggs.

Okay, I have the Van Nuys address.

Yes, the Van Nuys address.

Yes, that's where I live.

Van Nuys is beautiful this time of year.

ID please.

ID.

Right, of course you'd need ID.

Ah! Look, lady, we are not here

for a drink, okay?

We just want some mail. [scoffs]

If you don't have ID,

then I can't give you your

Yeah, Irma [sighs]

I don't expect you to understand this,

but it is very important to me

and this French lady

that we get Cody Briggs' junk mail.

Oui.

Opening someone else's mail

is a federal crime.

I suggest you both leave.

Now!

Next!

Well, we tried.

218 Melbourne Ave.

Remember, 218 Melbourne Ave.

- Excuse me!

- Go, go, go!

We heisted. We heisted!

So pumped

for Chelsea's first Cody Briggs night.

Yeah, you've been talking

about her all day.

Really?

Oh, I'm just excited

that she gets to join in.

Oh, my God, you guys. A troll

is tearing me apart in my comments.

Isn't that great?

I thought trolls were bad.

No, not only is having

a troll not bad, it's fantastic.

You're no one online if you're not hated.

I've never felt this accomplished.

Oh.

Congrats, Jayden.

I haven't seen you this happy

since you got randomly seated

in that Splash Mountain log

with Benedict Cumberbatch.

Ah! Tsk.

So much splashing.

[chuckles]

Wait a second. Where's the Cody mail?

I don't know.

I didn't touch it.

My vanity simply wouldn't allow me

to do anything but refresh my feed.

Oh, no. I went through the mail earlier

to get rid of all the non-Cody stuff,

coupons, magazines, parking tickets.

You know, junk.

I must have accidentally

thrown out Cody's mail.

Okay. So we need to find

a new piece of Cody mail.

- I'll use my crystals to summon one.

- Great. Do it now.

No, Grant. You can't rush these.

Crystals only work if you don't expect

immediate, tangible or measurable results.

We don't have time, Solana.

We have to go to the source of the mail.

- The mailman.

- Where the mailman gets the mail.

- The mailman office.

- Post office.

There it is. Okay, let's go.

Okay.

All right. This is the address.

Why are you walking like that?

I'm walking normally

so no one knows what we're up to.

Yeah, that's not Okay.

Let's just do a quick r*fle

through Cody's mailbox,

find some junk mail he won't miss,

take it back to the house,

pretend none of this happened.

What the hell has become of my life?

- Oh, great day, isn't it?

- Yeah, no robbers in this neighborhood.

And applesauce!

What?

Applesauce. It's our code word for "go."

- We didn't talk about a code word.

- Who did I talk to about it?

All right, Claire, let's just

- Applesauce.

- Okay.

Damn it, it's empty.

If we can't take his mail,

let's get something else.

[gasps] His gnome.

Perfect.

[man] Stop right there!

- Crap.

- It's him.

The real Cody Briggs.

Remember how I said

I have a troll and that it was great?

Now it's not great!

My troll has gone way too far.

He's attacking my

ankles!

Your ankles? They're totally normal.

Oh, don't humor me.

You know they're hideous. Look at them.

They're all bone.

When Jayden was a child model,

he lost out on a national campaign

for Heelys skate shoes,

and his mom blamed it on his ankles.

Do you know how humiliating it was

to just walk places in 2004?

Like a donkey.

Next!

Afternoon, Irma. That's a beautiful name.

Can I help you?

Not unless you have

a spare pair of tube socks.

I'm just here for my mail.

I like to pick it up here

instead of waiting for it.

It's fresher that way.

- Your name.

- Cody Briggs.

Okay, what the hell is going on?

Who are you people?

I'm just a boy

whose ankles are his Achilles heel.

[whispering] I got this.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Grant's jaw framing.

This lady doesn't stand a chance.

I'm having a rough day and

I'm so sad.

Oh, no.

It would really mean so much to me

if you could give me any forwarding

address you have on file for Cody Briggs.

I mean, obviously, I'm not supposed to.

Just this once?

Sure, why not?

I put my number down too.

In case you need it, or whatever.

[Cody] All right, start talking.

Who sent you? What are you doing here?

Are you from the government

or the shadow government?

Uh, no, sir, we just

Um, we saw your gnome outside and it

reminded us of our grandmother's gnome,

and so we wanted to get a closer look.

[chuckles nervously]

We never should have trespassed

on your property.

You're not from the CIA?

FBI? NSA? Facebook?

Guess you do look a little puny

to Zero Dark Thirty me.

Chelsea, his mail.

Oh, you know what? I'm so sorry.

May I use your restroom? Please.

You're not gonna look through

my medicine cabinet, are you?

All my prescriptions

are in generic MiraLAX bottles,

so good luck finding anything.

- Got it.

- It's down the hall and to the left.

You have a beautiful home.

[Claire chuckles]

I just love this medieval dungeon door.

Very mid-16th century modern.

It's my mother's room.

Oh.

It sounds like

you really love your mother,

and I think that's really sweet.

Thank you.

She's a nightmare.

Um Hey.

Hey. [chuckles nervously]

Did you ever own a Ferrari?

Because I've always imagined you

as a Ferrari guy.

Always imagined?

Uh Since we walked in.

No, I mean, I used to go

into a Ferrari dealership sometimes,

but that was just because they have

amazing air conditioning

where I could cool down my bunions.

Walking to your podiatrist's appointment

is a real lose-lose situation.

Wow, that is a disappointing answer.

Okay, I'm all done.

We should really be going.

Okay, well, I apologize

if I was a little aggressive.

I play a lot of Catan

and it's made me into the hypervigilant

macho man you see before you.

- Right. Well, goodbye, Cody Briggs.

- Claire!

Is that my mail? How do you know my name?

I knew I shouldn't have given

Cold Stone my real birthday.

And to the troll

who came for my ankles, how dare you?

Whoever you are,

these ankles have carried me,

and it's been tough, y'all, like

My great-grandpa fought in

one of those really old wars. Ha, okay?

So you don't even know the journey

that these ankles have walked,

but I am strong, I am fearless.

And I have a code for 10% off

CBB cheese if you swipe up.

So swipe up!

[whispering] Jayden, focus.

Let's grab Cody's mail,

bring it back to the house.

It's cool what's become of my life.

- Aw.

- Yeah, right?

[clears throat]

[in Australian accent] Good day, mate.

[chuckles]

Love that walking. Right, left, repeat.

Awesome.

And applesauce.

Huh?

Applesauce. That's our code word for "go."

Who did I talk to about this?

Go, go, go.

- It's empty.

- Stop right there!

Oh, no, we're crackerjacks.

What?

That means we're busted.

Who did I talk to about this?

- What are you doing here?

- What are you doing here?

- We're crackerjacks.

- Oh, it was you.

- It was you.

- Oh, my God.

- Claire, I've had the craziest day.

- Really?

You know each other?

What are you people doing on my property?

Holding my gnome? And stealing my mail?

- And asking me about Ferraris?

- Okay.

Cody [chuckles]

let me explain. Um

We all live in the house

that you used to live in.

Yeah. 42 Alfalfa.

Oh, I loved that house.

Although there was always

a bit of a mouse problem.

Go on.

Um

Well, they all play this game

where they open up your junk mail,

and it's just a fun, silly drinking game,

but this time I, um I burnt the mail.

You burnt it?

- I thought I threw it away.

- No. I totally destroyed it.

And that's why I wanted your mail.

I didn't want to ruin their fun.

And, if I'm honest,

making friends hasn't always been easy.

I don't care about your personal stories.

Right, right,

I think it's best if we just

[both] Applesauce.

Wait, wait, wait!

Catalina Snorkel Adventures.

This couldn't be, um

Ramona Delgado?

How did you know that?

It's her? Really? Oh.

Are you married? Do you have kids?

Are you currently living

happily ever after?

Does it look like a woman

who is not my mother lives here?

No, it does not.

Ramona and I were roommates,

but to me she was so much more.

- Cody, sweetie, come here.

- Huh?

- Uh-huh.

- Come.

Sit down.

Tell us everything.

Well

we were just friends.

And then somewhere along the way,

I didn't plan for it to happen, but

I fell in love with her.

Did you ever tell her how you felt?

[Cody] Well, I wanted to.

That day we went snorkeling

in Catalina, but

I lost my nerve.

And then, time passed, life happened.

I maybe became a little bit of a shut-in.

I doubt she even remembers me.

Or Or

Ramona has never forgotten you either

and every time she sees a snorkel,

she thinks of you and smiles.

- To Ramona.

- [all chuckle]

Which is why she moved to Hawaii,

where she can snorkel every day

and keep you in her heart.

To Ramona.

By day, she leads dolphin tours

for the blind.

And by night,

she watches the moon rise over the sea.

And her heart warms

hoping that her long-lost lover Cody

is still out there.

To Ramona.

And so Cody decided to

Cody decided to go find Ramona

to finally tell her how he feels?

[all] Yes!

Yes!

Really? What if she doesn't feel

the same way about me?

Cody, if there's anything

I've learned from these people,

it's that sometimes you just

have to close your eyes and go for it

and hope that it all works out,

no matter what.

Well, okay. I'll go.

[all] To Cody Briggs!

[Jayden] Woo-hoo! Whoo!

- Okay!

- Let's go.

Yeah. I can legally officiate.

[Cody] Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no!

You guys aren't coming.

Also, I'm not just going to go tonight.

I have to, like, plan it and everything.

But

thank you.

Come here.

- [Claire squeals, giggles]

- Oh, oh.

[Cody whimpers]

How about this for Cody Briggs' orchard?

Ki-dew.

[Jayden and Solana] Mmm.

- That's delicious.

- [laughs]

Okay. What would go with a kumquat?

Mm, watermelon.

- Yes.

- [Jayden] Yeah.

We can call it, Kumwater.

[all laughing]

Whoo!

I gotta sober up. Anyone want a beer?

Oh, yeah, I'd bove a leer. Oh, no.

We've never had

a better Cody Briggs night, ever.

I mean, we played

the Cody Briggs game with Cody Briggs.

I was so worried

it was gonna be ruined for you.

[sighs] Why was it so important to you

that I play that game?

You're one of my favorite people.

And I wanted you to have fun.

That's really sweet.

You're always looking out for me.

- I really appreciate that.

- Yeah, of course.

[chuckles] Still can't believe

all that stuff about Ramona.

Yeah, it's amazing.

Sounds like he really fell for her.

Yeah.

Do you actually think

they'll end up together?

Like really?

I don't know.

But I want them to.

[Jayden yelps]

- Oh, my God!

- What? What is it?

I just found out who my troll is.

It's my mother.

[all] What?

[theme music playing]