01x06 - Face the Music

[bunniefuu]

["Gone, Gone, Gone" playing]

[Harriet] That song. It was my song.

It almost felt like
it was made just for me.

It's called "Gone, Gone, Gone,"

a song by my favorite singer, Vic Lancer.

[Harriet] My dream was to meet Vic one day

and ask him how to write stories
as good as his songs.

Vic had a voice
that could loosen up anybody.

Even Ole Golly couldn't resist.

[Vic Lancer] ♪ Then I'm gone, gone, gone ♪

What's this sandwich secret, Ole Golly?

It's made with love.

[mouthing song]
♪ I know I'm not the perfect man ♪

♪ But I've done everything I can ♪

♪ To be with you
When I'm gone, gone, gone ♪

[mom] Bravo, everyone!

Great show!

My oh my,

who sings that wonderful song
that was just playing?

Only the greatest singer
in the world, Dad. Vic Lancer!

Is that the same Vic Lancer
who's performing tonight

on the live TV show I'm producing?

- Hmm…
- [chuckles]

What?

Ah, I just happen to have some VIP tickets
for the front row of the show,

but if you've got other things to do…

♪ I know I'm not the perfect man ♪

-♪ But I've done everything I can ♪
-♪ Everything I can ♪

♪ 'Til we see Vic sing our favorite song ♪

[howls]

[Harriet] Ugh, look at that face.

It's the face of someone
who doesn't have a clue

that her entire world was
about to get seriously rocked.

♪ I just wanna be
You just wanna be ♪

♪ We just wanna be ♪

♪ I am gonna be who I wanna be ♪

♪ My autonomy ♪

♪ No, I won't cut my hair ♪

♪ And I'll wear whatever ♪

♪ I like it when I get to be myself ♪

♪ I don't wanna be
You don't wanna be ♪

♪ We don't wanna be told what to do ♪

Hey, we've been waiting all day!

Sorry, we're VIP's.

That's very…

Important.

People who know this guy.

[shoes squeaking]

[elevator dings]

Mr. Welsch! Mr. Welsch! Mr. Welsch!

There's a flood in the green room!

We've gotta cut eight minutes!

There's a problem with camera three!

All I wanna know is,
is Vic Lancer here yet?

- He just got here.
- Great.

We've got a little time
before things get crazy.

What do you say
I take you on a little backstage tour?

- Yes!
- Yeah!

Sounds great!

- [staffer] Camera four is down!
- The violinists are on strike!

The space monkey got loose!

Sorry. It's all going to have to wait.

Work is important,
but today my daughter comes first.

Welcome to the best place ever
in the whole world!

[stage bell rings]

Backstage at 30 Rockefeller Center!

Ooh! Look at that!

It's the $10,000 Tower!

♪ It's full of power and money! ♪

W-When can I meet Vic?

I have a lot of questions to ask him
about how he writes his songs.

Sorry, Harriet.

I should've told you.

Uh, Vic doesn't allow any visitors
before or after a show.

Boo.

[chuckles] Look, a Martian eating a bagel!

I can top that.
A werewolf with a milk mustache.

[slurping]

It's Doctor Werewolf, MD!

[Doctor Werewolf, MD]
Doctor Werewolf, MD! [howls]

[Harriet] It was our favorite show.

Like most things in our friendship,

Janie and I were two people
who basically shared the same brain.

[Doctor Werewolf, MD]
Oh, now don't worry, kids.

I won't bite…

or maybe I will!

[howls]

Scary, right?

[cat meows]

It's Kip the Cat
from the "Kitty Caviar" commercials.

[background singers] ♪ Kip the Cat! ♪

[meows]

[gasping]

- [cheering]
- Ooh! It's Kip the Cat! Hurry!

Upstaged by a cat.

Welcome to my life. Ugh.

Let's keep moving. There's a lot to see.

Watch out for the full moon tonight, doc!

Mr. Welsch! Mr. Welsch! Mr. Welsch!

- Camera two just died!
- We need to add two minutes!

The acrobat has a charley horse.

Come on, guys. Let's shake these stiffs.

- What?
- [laughs]

- Wait! Boss!
- This way. Let's go.

- [chuckling]
- Wait, stop!

[laughs]

Huh?

[yelps]

[groaning]

- Yeah!
- Oh, wait!

[laughs] Come on!

Ah! Wait! Stop!

[groaning]

Huh?

One second. Please just one.

Oh, ah!

- Whoa. [laughs]
- Whoa. [grunts]

Ooh. Hi. [chuckles]

[whimpers]

[laughing]

- Mr. Welsch! Mr. Welsch! Mr. Welsch!
- Mr. Welsch, you've got to slow down!

Dad, since when did you become so fun?

I just wanted to show you
I'm not all work and no play.

- [Vic] ♪ I know I'm not the perfect man ♪
- Is that Vic?

[gasps] It sure sounds like it.

[Vic] ♪ But I've done everything I can
To be with you ♪

-♪ From dusk 'til dawn ♪
- Hi.

Is Vic Lancer in here?

[radio clicks off]

Ah, it's just the radio.

Let me tell ya, Vic Lancer's no big deal.

Any dummy can be a rock star.

♪ I know I'm not the perfect man ♪

♪ But I'll do anything I can ♪

Hey, Mr. Welsch.
Can you fit us into the show tonight?

Doesn't look good.
[sighs] Vic's doing a full set.

[groans, blows raspberry]

Coast is clear. Let's go.

- It's Vic!
- He has stage fright.

He needs fried pickles!

Wait, what?

Vic says the only cure is
"fried pickles made with love."

If he doesn't get them,
then he's not leaving his dressing room.

Then get the man
some fried pickles made with love!

We're calling all over town, Mr. Welsch.

The Big Apple's just
not that big on fried pickles.

I-I don't know if I can help,
but I'm sort of an expert on comfort food.

He fries up different vegetables
for his dad all the time!

Although, pickles aren't vegetables.

They're fermented cucumbers,
which a botanist would say is a fruit.

What? You guys didn't know that?

Do we have any other options?

Nope. No fried pickles, no Vic.

All right, Sport, you're officially
on Team Fried Pickles.

I'll take him to the kitchen.

Hayes, start figuring out

how we can juggle the lineup
if Vic's a no-show.

Wendy, call Vic's agent,
and don't breathe a word to the press.

[sighs] Sorry, honey.

[Harriet sighs] Here it comes.

I know I said I wouldn't let work
get in the way today…

[Harriet] It happens every time.
Wait for it…

…but I guess, that's showbiz.

Behave yourself.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Come on, Sport.

[music playing]

Vic!

But Vic's in his dressing room, remember?

No way. That's definitely him. Follow me.

See, I know what the problem is, Bob.

I'm a werewolf nobody's afraid of.

Why? Because I'm also a pediatrician! Ugh.

[singer] ♪ In all my time away
I think of you ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ And wish that I could stay ♪

[Harriet] I wanted to remember
every little detail

of the moment
when Harriet M. Welsch finally met…

- Hmm?
-♪ I know I'm not the perfect man ♪

-♪ But I've done everything I can ♪
- [Harriet] A random guy

who wasn't Vic Lancer.

♪ To be with you
When I'm gone, gone, gone ♪

[music ends]

Hi, is Vic here?

Vic's in his dressing room.

We're-- We're just doing a sound check
before the show.

I'm Louis Redd,
Vic's guitar player and songwriter.

Would I have heard any of your songs?

Only the song we were just playing.

[plays "Gone, Gone, Gone" melody]

"Gone, Gone, Gone"?
No way. That's Vic's song.

[laughs]

- Oh, man. [laughs]
- What?

Vic writes his own songs
like I have my own hair.

[laughing]

- [laughs]
- How can that be true?

Because it is.

My dad told me
that a lot of big-name singers like Vic

use songwriters like Louis all the time
to write all their songs.

Singers like Vic, but not Vic.

Yeah, Vic.

You heard what the drummer said.
What, you don't believe him?

No, it's just…
I'll ask my dad if it's true.

Just to check. He'll know.

Okay. You do that.

[dad] Fried pickles coming through!

That was fast.

Just battered 'em up
and threw them in the fryer.

[chewing] Mmm.

Fresh, hot… [sniffs] …and made with love!

You guys know what Vic likes.
What do you think?

Mmm.

They're near perfect.

Seasoning's delicious, but, uh…

There is definitely
a "mouth-feel issue" though,

coming up for me.

[chewing] Definitely!
A "mouth-feel issue."

How can we fix 'em?

Hmm. Tough to say.

For starters, these are spears.

And Vic prefers discs.

Does it make a difference?

[laughing]

It's a batter distribution issue.

And a "mouth-feel issue" too.

Can you guys help us?

We don't get this right, no Vic,
and one very unhappy national TV audience.

Just gotta put out this one fire, sweetie,
and I'll be right back.

Wait. Dad,

Janie said her dad said that

Vic hires people like Louis
to write all his songs.

Is that really true?

It certainly is.

Told you.

So, Vic gets all the money and fame

for songs people think he wrote
but didn't?

I'm afraid so.

That's so not fair.

No, it isn't.

But that's showbiz, sweetie.
At least for now. Gotta go.

Come on, you guys.
We're racing the clock here.

If Vic is just singing Louis' words,

he's no better
than a ventriloquist's dummy.

Hey. I heard that.

Sorry.

I just insulted a puppet.

- I heard that too!
- [laughing]

Can either of you tune a guitar?

Then help me tape these mic cables down.

So you really wrote "Gone, Gone, Gone"?

- [tuning guitar strings]
- That's right.

I'm on the road a hundred days a year.

And I miss my family.

I missed opening night
for my daughter's school play

and my son's 11th birthday party

and me and my wife's 15th anniversary.

- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh is right.

I didn't know what else to do,
so I wrote 'em a song.

You didn't just write them a song,
you wrote them the song!

It's number one on the charts.

[chuckles] What can I say?
People know a good song when they hear it.

[strums chord]

Oh, she's not being rude.
She writes everything down.

It must make you feel weird,
seeing Vic get famous from your songs.

I would never let someone take credit
for something I wrote.

Some of us don't have a choice.

The world is changing for the better,
but for now,

I'm just happy writing songs
that touch people.

Right in their tickers.

Hey, I've got something
I think you'll like.

It's my first solo album.

Put it out on my very own label.

One day soon,
I'm gonna put out a lot of music

by singers and songwriters
who deserve to be heard.

Wow! Thanks!

So cool!

Nice meeting you.

Coming through
with the show-saving pickles!

The dressing rooms are this way.

The band showed me
how Vic's mama makes his fried pickles.

When we get there, we gotta talk to Vic.

Tell him he's being unfair to Louis.

Uh, I don't think that's a good idea.

This whole thing is
a lot more complicated than you think.

No, it's not.

[scoffs] Well, what if Vic gets mad?
What if he fires Louis?

We won't let him.

We gotta try.
Come on, Janie, we're a team.

We both move the same way: fast.

I don't think it's a good idea.

What? Come on.

I would think someone like you
would wanna stand up for Louis.

Wait. [scoffs]

So you're an expert on
how someone like me is supposed to act?

I just know what's fair and unfair,
and this is unfair.

Harriet, it's a lot more
complicated than that.

Why do you keep using that word?

Because it is complicated.

Stop using that word.

Complicated, complicated, complicated!

Really mature, Janie.

Oh, you're one to talk.

- At least I'm not scared.
- Oh, I'm scared, all right.

- Scared of you making things worse.
- Fine!

I'll do it myself!

You do that.

You guys go to Vic's dressing room.
I'll meet you there.

Everything okay?

- Janie's just being so… ugh.
-"Ugh"?

Vic is being so unfair to Louis,

and I just wanted us
to tell him to his face,

but Janie keeps saying
it's super complicated

when it's obviously not.

[sighs] Okay.

So I'm just going to talk to him myself.

I think the person
you need to talk to is Janie.

Harriet, you're on the outside
of all of this looking in.

Janie lives with this kind of unfairness
every day.

Why doesn't she ever talk about it?

Maybe she's not sure what to say.

Being best friends is simple.

What she and Louis have to deal with
is kind of…

Complicated.

[Janie] I'll go back. I won't go back.

I'll go back. I won't go back!

I'll go back. I won't go back!
Ugh! I'll go back.

[security guard] Sorry.

No main stage entry
unless you have a main stage pass.

This is an emergency!

I just had a big fight
with my best friend about… well,

it's all pretty complicated, but…

Ooh, why do I keep saying
that word? [sighs]

I guess it's because
that's the word you use

when you're not sure what to say.
You know?

Sorry. No pass, no access.

Please? It's a best friend emergency!

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
are you trying to get in?

Doctor Werewolf, MD! Hi. Wow, yes!

Hey, can you let her in?
She's a friend of mine.

No pass, no entry.

Aw.

Thanks anyway, doc.

Wait, wait, wait.

Didn't you say before
that it's a full moon tonight?

Yeah. Get ready.

[growls]

[roars, howls]

[screams]

- Wow, thanks!
- Go! Hurry!

That was really scary.

Gotta find Harriet.

♪ In all my time away
I think of you ♪

♪ And wish that I could stay
But I have to do ♪

♪ For you
All I can do ♪

♪ I hope you remember
When I was with you ♪

♪ From dusk 'til dawn
Not gone, gone, gone ♪

I'm sorry for being so bossy and stupid!

You're the expert, not me.

I'm sorry too.

For acting like you should know
how I feel about all this stuff

when we never talked about it before.

We can talk about it now.

Okay.

So, you and I, we're best friends.

But the thing is,
even though we share the same brain,

we don't share the same color.

That doesn't matter.

[sighs] Maybe not to you.

But unfortunately,
the whole world isn't you.

What's good is, things are more fair
than they used to be.

But my dad says that
if we want the same rights you have,

we gotta take it step by step.

That's kinda what Louis was saying
about his record label.

If he keeps doing what he's doing,

he'll get the chance to help people
like him get the credit they deserve.

[announcer on PA]
Fifteen minutes to showtime.

Fifteen minutes to showtime.

[chuckles]
We can talk about it more later.

[pants] I hope the fried pickles worked.

- Do you still have your lunch?
- Yeah.

If the pickles didn't do it,
I've got an idea.

[Vic] Mmm. Nope.

[groaning]

Come on, Vic.

- We got a show to do.
- Just eat the pickles!

[Vic sighs] I'm really sorry, guys.
I'm just not tasting the love.

Try one more, Vic.

Maybe the ones with the love
are on the bottom.

[Vic] Mmm.

Sorry. No can do.

- [groans]
- No luck?

[sighs] We gotta go with plan B.

Oh, great! So the opening of our show
is gonna be a ventriloquist act?

Yes!

We don't have a choice.

I thought I made the pickles with love,

but mostly it was just boiling oil
and a lot of pepper.

[Janie] We've got something
made with love.

My tomato sandwich!

Vic? Hi.

My name is Harriet M. Welsch.
My dad is the producer of the show.

And I'm Janie Gibbs,
Harriet's best friend.

We know you wanted fried pickles…

But we've got something here
that was made by my nanny, Ole Golly,

with more love
than you can fit into Yankee Stadium.

Just take one bite?

Hey, uh, this is really good!

[sighing]

Mm-mmm!
Just the right amount of mayonnaise.

Spread with love.

Mmm!

And the tomatoes are--
The tomatoes are just a--

Sliced with love.

Ooh! Ooh!

Gentlemen and gentle ladies,
this sandwich makes me wanna…

Hyah!

I taught him those moves.

Come on, guys, let's hit the stage!

We gotta move if we're gonna groove!

[Harriet] Louis?

Before you go,
could you autograph our records?

I would be honored.

Wow! Louis, my man!

Now, why didn't you tell me about this?

Huh! Hey, this one looks familiar.

"Gone, Gone, Gone."

Written by Louis Redd.

Written by Louis Redd.

Come on, guys, I'll take you to the stage.

No rush, but we've got 15 seconds
until the show goes on live.

[audience chattering]

Aw.

Dad, could you still get these guys
onto the show?

Pretty please?

I think we can squeeze you in.

Knock-knock!

Uh, who's there?

- Boo!
- Boo who?

Why are ya crying?
We got a happy ending here!

- [audience cheering]
- Aw, thank you folks! Thank you!

Now, you might've heard of this one.
It's called "Gone, Gone, Gone."

Written by Mr. Louis Redd!

Louis, show 'em how it's done, man!

[plays "Gone, Gone, Gone" melody]

♪ I know I'm not the perfect man ♪

♪ But I've done everything I can
To be with you ♪

♪ From dusk 'til dawn
Then I'm gone, gone, gone ♪

[cheers]

[Vic continues singing]

Is this seat taken?

Dad, what are you doing here?

Just thought I'd stop by,
show you I'm not all work and no play.

♪ And you gotta be strong
For when I'm gone, gone, gone ♪

Thank you!

- [audience cheers]
- [laughing]

[Harriet] The day started with
me wanting to meet my rock n' roll idol.

[Louis singing "Gone, Gone, Gone"]

[Harriet] Then… [sighs] …I guess,
well, things got a little compli--

Don't worry, I'm not gonna say it.

Janie said there was a lot more to tell me
about the truth of her life.

But first, we wanted to listen to music

that sounded like
the stories I wanted to write

and the future we both hoped would come.

[Louis] ♪ A warm dinner and a comfy bed
Means I'm with you ♪

♪ From dusk 'til dawn,
Then I'm gone, gone, gone ♪

♪ In all my time away ♪

♪ I think of you ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ And I wish that I could stay ♪

♪ But I have to do for you
All I can do ♪

♪ I know I'm not the perfect man ♪

♪ But I've done everything I can ♪

♪ To be with you
From dusk 'til dawn ♪

♪ Don't be sad
It won't be long ♪

♪ You've gotta be strong ♪

♪ For when I'm gone, gone, gone ♪