01x04 - Cower

[bunniefuu]

sh**t.

Have you decided on dinner?

Oh, I was thinking of heating
up something premade.

Hmm. Instead, we've got some meat,
onions, and peppers, so why not make...

Crap, I don't have time.

I'll message you the recipe!

Have a good time.

Kotoko, your hair!

Yeah, I chopped it all off.

Wait, did I drop my chopsticks?

- What, already?

- Here are your starters.

- Oops, I poured too much... Or maybe not.

Get it together.

Motsu, you've got, like, devil heels on.

Is that a diss?

Guys, our drinks are here.

All righty, here's to our
hard work every day.

Cheers!

Wait, so Daigo's met her already?

I sure have. She's real cute.

Just fifteen years old.

She starts high school next week.

No wonder you're so tired.

Having someone around constantly
is enough to tire me out.

What are you, technically?
Her foster mom?

Nice. Go foster mom.

Nah, I'm her... legal guardian?

Not too sure what that entails.

Then it's not like you've adopted her.

I can't take on a
responsibility like that...

I mean, we're barely related.

So, what's she up to tonight?

Right now, she's...

eating dinner.

Gosh, that's so cute.

Totally.

Yeah, she's cute. And a good kid.

Though she can be a bit immature.

Still, I cower at the thought
of her being that woman's child.

You mean you can't love her?

Makio.

I'm only saying this because
you're so hopeless.

I know it's not her fault.

I should treat her fairly regardless.

Isn't that arson?

Not for real. I only hold grudges.

That's still terrifying.

I mean, just think back
to when we were fifteen.

Can you believe we even
made it to adulthood?

With real adult experiences
like marriage and divorce.

Exactly! Who would've thought back then?

Hey, that reminds me.

I totally screwed up at work
the other day.

Again?

I wanna hear this!

Oh my god, it was so bad.

Cheers!

Nice to meet you. I'm Shingo Kasamachi.

Here, I brought you something.

Huh? Whoa, is that meat?

Wow, it's wrapped in nice
paper and everything.

It's for sukiyaki. You two enjoy.

You're not staying for dinner?

I can't stay that long.

Can I get you something to drink?

Sure.

Is coffee okay?

Sure. Let me help.

Hey, is this...

Yeah. It's good, isn't it?

What?

We're out of milk!

Oops, my bad.

A whole liter in one day?

The wonders of adolescence.

It's fine. I'll go buy some.

I'm craving milk with coffee.

Let me know if you need anything else!

She's different, isn't she?

Yup. Um...

Are you Makio-chan's boyfriend?

Okay, I can see you're not exactly
cut from the same cloth...

No, I'm not. Not right now.

Not right now?

We were friends before
that and have been since.

But who knows? Our feelings
may change tomorrow.

Then why did you two break up?

That's hot!

Are you okay?!

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Yeesh...

You don't get it.

You wouldn't understand, Kasamachi-kun!

It was my fault.

I got too arrogant.

Oh boy, that's enough reminiscing.

Adults are much more sensitive
than you youngsters might think.

To fill you in, my visit today
wasn't just to meet you.

I wanted to see how she's doing.

But don't tell her, okay?

I see. School will basically require
you to make lunch, eh?

Sounds rough.

Brain freeze?

Not that. Lunch.

Buying lunch every day costs a fortune.

I've started making my
own bento box sometimes.

It's pretty basic. Just some rice,
meat, and broccoli in Tupperware.

That's more than enough.

Please don't use Tupperware for mine...

Right, of course.

What are you supposed
to put in bento boxes again?

My parents only ever made
brown stuff. But it was good.

They used to say, "We're down for brown."

My parents were also against
including tiny tomatoes.

I guess they took pride
in their bento boxes.

That's right. Mine even
kept a bento journal.

I bet they were perfect
in their minds, but...

Raising a kid and loving them
were two separate concepts,

in my parents' case.

Anyway, what I mean to say is...

Don't worry over it too much.

Thanks. I'll remember that.

Makio-chan, do you have a bento box?

Nuh-uh. Gotta buy one.

"Makio-chan," huh? That's new.

No one would ever think to call you that.

I know.

Really?

Mom would always call you that.

She used to say,
"Makio-chan's a novelist."

All the time.

Aren't you embarrassed?

Living in fantasy world like this?

A novel, of all things!

Why don't you face reality already?

What?

Don't you have something to say?

Makio-san?

You okay?

I should probably get going.

I'll stop by again.

Or can I say that?

Of course! Please do!

This is my place...

Hey, Kasamachi-kun.

Can I have your LINE ID?

Okay, sure.

All ready. I'm off!

Hey, like I said before...

I can't help looking
if you leave that out.

So could you close your journal?

Like I said before,
I don't care if you do.

I don't get you.

Well, I'm off!

Hey, are you sure you don't
need me to come?

It's all good.

Asa!

Emiri!

Morning!

Hi, Asa-chan. Excited for
another three years together?

Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry for what
happened at graduation.

Yeah, Mom. You should apologize more.

I'd like to say hello to your aunt.

Where is she?

She's not here.

You mean she's not coming?

To your entrance ceremony?

Nope.

You know, Asa-chan...

If you ever have a hard time telling her
anything, I can always talk to her.

I mean, I find it strange
that you're here all alone.

But it's not like she's my mom...

Come on, Asa. Let's go.

Okay.

Where do you wanna meet up tomorrow?

Let's see...

Oh my gosh, that girl is so cute.

Wanna go talk to her?

What? Emiri, you're going kinda overkill.

You're even wearing makeup.

Can you blame me?

We're making our high school debut.

Our rules sucked back in middle school.

Stop.

Oh, my seat's over there.

Catch you later, Asa!

'Kay.

Our high school debut, huh?

Takumi!

Oh, Yoshimura.

Sup?

Here, we got these at graduation.

Nara seemed a bit preoccupied,
so I held on to yours.

Thanks...

But man, who actually skips graduation?

Is it that bad?

Well, anyways...

As your middle school
classmate, good luck.

I'll do my best too.

What's that supposed to mean?

Are you Yoshimura from Sakura First?

Hey, you were at the district tournament!

Are you joining the baseball team?

Of course!

Nice! Let's make the
next three years a blast!

Hi. Nice to meet you.

U-Um, n-nice to meet you. I'm Sone.

I'm Asa Takumi.

Sone-san, what's your first name?

Oh, um, Asuka. I'm Asuka Sone.

Got it. Asa-chan and Asuka-chan.

I'm Yumi Kanda. Call me Kan!

Wow, that's so cool!

Did you draw this yourself?

Of course I did.

Sorry, are you cramped?

I'm good. Nice to meet you.

I'm Yuto Togo.

Are you on the judo team?
How tall are you?

Nope, soccer. And 186 centimeters.

Now for the first-years'
inaugural address.

- Representing this year's class
is Chiyo Morimoto.

- No way!

- I love that too!

Present!

I mean, you're class rep.

That's a huge accomplishment!

Accomplishment?

It's not that big of a deal.

Still, I totally get wanting
them to be cool.

My parents went overboard too...

Asuka!

It was so embarrassing...

Every family's the same way.

Well, my parents aren't here.

Actually, they died in a car accident.

I live with my aunt now,
but she's a busy novelist, so...

Sounds like a movie plot.

Or is that not cool to say?

It's fine. Except I gotta make
my own lunch now.

Wow, you're so independent.

I'm basically a monkey by comparison.

A monkey?

Waking up that early
to make lunch must be hard.

My parents still wake
me up every morning.

Grow up already.

Since it's your big day.

Go on and wash your hands.

At the entrance ceremony today, I...

Huh.

That's it?

The food's gonna get cold.

Mind if I start eating?

I'll go wash my hands.

What? Don't be like that.
How embarrassing.

Yeah? Well, it is what it is.

Don't sweat it.
Just watch yourself in the future.

Asa.

Don't be embarrassing like that.

Well, that's the way it goes sometimes.

It's okay. You can be
more careful next time.

I didn't know you liked to stand out.

I mean, you just said...

I dunno.

But sometimes, I do want to stand out.

What's wrong with that?

It's okay?

Standing out for real
requires a lot of effort.

You know, like athletes,
actors, and singers.

It means you've put in the work.

I wasn't expecting this.
I figured you'd hate it.

Are you serious? Come on, I'm a novelist!

I make my living writing out my fantasies
and publishing them to the world.

I'd never judge someone for standing out.

We're two totally different people.

Yeah.

Why don't you try singing?

Join a band or something.

You're always humming to yourself.

A band? Mom never liked those.

Huh.

There you go again.

Just spit it out.

No, I mean... It's fine.
It's your life, after all.

But... she isn't here anymore,
you know? Your mom.

How come?

How come you hate Mom, Makio-chan?

I won't tell you why.

Just because you're a kid
and you mean no harm...

doesn't mean you can
pry into just anything.

I'll never tell you that.

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry.

I'm not mad at you.

I'm going back to work.

Thanks for having me!

Nice to meet you. I'm Emiri.

Oh, from the face-off at graduation.

I'm Makio Kodai.

We didn't have a face-off.

I don't mind you having friends over,
but let me know ahead of time.

I sent you a message.

"Ahead of time" doesn't
mean immediately beforehand.

Sorry!

Well, have fun.

That's funny. No big to-do or anything?

My mom would definitely be all like,

"Hi there! Thanks for
keeping Emiri company!"

That was good!

In the Takumi house, it'd always be like,
"Please take care of Asa."

That was good too!

Right?

I'm at my limit...

By the way, did you notice
our grade level leader?

Did you see his tie?
It was way too short!

Was it? That's hilarious.

Say, Makio-san,
do you have a favorite snack?

My mom asked me to scout out your place.

Aren't you supposed
to keep that a secret?

If this is for a gift...

I'm not trying to be polite
when I say I'd rather she not.

It's a hassle.

A hassle?

Makio-chan's a bit weird.

My mom won't take no for an answer.

Not to be rude, but I mean it.

It's fine. Please tell her
as much verbatim.

I don't care much for formalities.

I'm heading to work.

'Kay!

Um...

I'm sorry for bothering you.

Can I help you?

I'm heading out.

Okay.

She fell asleep... Asa did.

Out of nowhere.

She's, like, out cold.

I see...

I'll come by again.

To check on her.

Sorry for the trouble.

Emiri?

Makio-chan.

Um... Did you have dinner?

It's on the table.

What about your plate?

I'll eat later.

Thank you for this meal.

But... She isn't here anymore,
you know? Your mom.

What a drag...

The latest food spots in Koenji!

I can't even guarantee
that I'll love you.

I hated my sister.

I won't tell you why.

I can't always be completely
considerate of your feelings.

I probably can't understand
your loneliness or anxiety either.

Because you hated Mom?

No.

Because I get very tired
being around others.

I can't even work unless I'm alone.

Isn't that lonely?

Just like you can't understand
the suffocation I feel,

I can't understand your loneliness.

Because you and I
are two different people.

Wh-What are you...

If I made you feel
neglected, I apologize.

So let's talk it out.

Even though we don't
understand each other?

I don't like eating alone.

Okay. If I ever lose track
of time, let me know.

If you ever want to talk,
let's talk then and there.

You're okay with that?

Even though you're not my parent?

Even though you don't love me?

My hope is that you live a
healthy life free of despair.

I feel that way because
I think fondly of you.

More fondly than not, at least.

I'm lonely.

I can't do anything about the
underlying loneliness you feel.

I'm so lonely...

I see.

We never had any contact before this.

I wonder if it's okay for a stranger
like me to suddenly get so involved.

Oh, shush.

Thanks.

Bring some more meat sometime.

Kasamachi-kun, tell me...

When do you feel lonely?