02x09 - Silence Was Golden

[bunniefuu]

This is just about the weight

of the hamster I had when I was a kid.

Little Tex weighed half a pound.

- I'm going with that.
- All right.

Oh, my gosh!

That's exactly right!

You know, if you did
that trick in a tiny village,

they'd make you their king?

- Emmett Hawkins...
- Mm-hmm.

Tater king.

And you could be my tater queen.

Oh, thank you, My Lord.

And we'd live in a large castle

and have lots of little tater tots.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Hey, did you know our
anniversary's coming up?

Oh, of course I did.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Then how long have we been a thing?

I guess you could say when...

Isabella made us go to the dumb arcade.

Nope.

You were too chicken to do anything.

All right, what about when
I asked if I could come by

and check on you and Isabella?

Nope again, but you're getting warmer.

How about the day I actually came by

and checked on you and Isabella?

- Ding, ding, ding, ding.
- Oh.

Which means we're having an anniversary,

celebrating...

- Celebra...
- Three...

- months.
- Months, three months.

Well, let's go back
to weighing potatoes.

♪ Sometimes it feels
like a big ol' fight ♪

♪ To get through the day ♪

♪ And sleep on through the night ♪

♪ But here you'll find a place ♪

♪ That'll surely lift your spirits ♪

♪ You belong at Happy's Place ♪

Oh, aren't they cute?

What?

I had a dream about you last night.

Not this again, Steve.

I can't be responsible for
what I do in your dreams.

You told Bobbie Emmett's secret,

that he's known about
Isabella for years.

God, it's bad enough
when my wife does this.

Listen, Takoda...

Listen, it felt completely real,

except that we were
standing on quicksand,

which makes no sense
because we were on a train.

None of this makes sense, Steve.

Just know that I'm watching
you and I don't miss anything.

- Good morning.
- Ah!

That's on you.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Uh, is everything okay?
- Yeah. Why?

Because you never cook this late

and you're dressed like a tradwife.

What's a tradwife?

Just Google it.

There's a ton of influencers

who can't wait to explain it to you

while they make a cobbler from scratch.

Well, I'm making chicken
piccata for Emmett

because our anniversary is tomorrow.

[CHUCKLES GOOFILY]

Cooking for a cook... pretty bold.

I just want to make the perfect meal,

you know, speak his love language.

"Love language"?

Somebody read the book I gave her.

I just want to make him feel special,

which reminds me... I need a favor.

- Anything.
- I need you to get lost.

So Emmett and I can have some privacy.

Ah, easy. I'll just hang out at Gabby's.

She found out I haven't
seen the movie "Beaches"

and wants to watch it
through my virgin eyes.

Okay, tell me how you feel about this.

[GROANS AND GAGS]

No, not good.

Oh, dang it.

Oh, I hadn't done it in a while.

I guess I'm a little rusty.

It tastes like rust.

That's the word I was looking for.

You b*stard.

Have another dream, Steve?

Yes, I did, and in it...

In it, you told Emmett's
secret to Bobbie,

and she started crying.

I was so shocked, I would
have sprung right out of bed,

but I couldn't.

I was trapped under my weighted blanket.

I think you're just worried
about keeping the secret,

and it's easier to blame me.

Of course I'm worrl...

Okay, what is it with you two?

What do you mean, Gabby?

I mean, since yesterday,
you've been all,

me, me, me, me, me, me, me,
me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

- What gives?
- Okay, here's what gives.

Takoda and I are having a conversation

about a private matter,

and we would very much appreciate it

if you kept your nose
out of our business.

No.

Wow.

Whatever you're hiding must be good.

Yeah, I'm just a little hurt
that you wouldn't trust me.

I'll put your secret
in the old Gabby vault

for safekeeping.

That's okay.

It's going to be a slow day at work,

and I'm a bored,
middle-aged, single woman

with no real hobbies.

I don't even crush candy.

Your secret just became
my new obsession.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Hey, Bobbie said that
you wanted to talk to me.

I also want to talk to you.

I want to give Bobbie and
Emmett some privacy tonight.

- Can I come over to your place?
- Yes!

Oh, my gosh, yes!

Okay, all right, I just need to
get my "Beaches" DVD back

from my neighbor.

But don't worry. I've
got a key to her place.

And by that, I mean I made a duplicate.

Oh, what did you want
to talk to me about?

Steve and Takoda have a secret.

- I love that for them.
- No, no.

We need to find out what it is.

It's none of our business, Gabby.

Boring. Okay, I'm going to get Bobbie.

No, no, Bobbie is busy.

Of course she's busy. We're all busy.

No one wants to be alone
with their own thoughts.

Look, I'll help you figure
out what the secret is

if you leave Bobbie alone.

She's got enough on her plate right now.

But will you really help?
Not just pretend to help?

Like my mom did when I accidentally

fell into the deep end?

- Where was the lifeguard?
- She was the lifeguard.

No, no, I am 100% in, okay?

Love a cup of piping-hot tea.

Ah, good.

- Okay, Gabby is happy.
- Yay.

Here is the plan.

If we just ask Steve,
he's going to start lying,

which is entertaining, but
that's a game for another day.

Okay, so we go to Takoda
because he never lies.

Yes, he has a strong set of morals.

- Mm-hmm.
- So let's exploit them.

Hey, y'all getting ready
for your big, fun girls' night?

Tonight you and Emmett will
have the place to yourselves.

Oh, yeah.

♪ Brown chicken, brown cow ♪

[FUNKY VOCALIZING]

Don't do that again.

BOTH: ♪ Brown chicken, brown cow ♪

♪ Brown chicken, brown cow ♪

Oh, Happy's Place. Yes, Gabby speaking.

No, you go first. What are you wearing?

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

- Where's Emmett?
- Shh, shh.

Quick, help me find his recipe box.

"Recipe box," adorable.

Maybe it's by his
spectacles or his ear trumpet.

I know he's got a recipe for
chicken piccata somewhere.

Aha! Found it!

Chicken piccata.

Pilfering a chicken recipe
behind your lover's back...

so sneaky, so romantic,

like a turn-of-the-century
romance novel.

I just want us to have
a very special dinner.

- Is that silly?
- Not at all.

You're just a gorgeous chambermaid

who doesn't know how to
cook but has caught the eye

of a local railroad tycoon and...

I'm just really into the romance genre.

Well, get ready to swoon,
because I've decided tonight...

I'm going to tell Emmett I love him.

[GASPS] What a twist. Ah!

That's incredible. How do you feel?

Like a plate of Jell-O in an earthquake.

You know, it took me a
whole year to tell Travis

because I couldn't find the right time.

So I'm going to create
the right time with Emmett.

Then I hope it's everything you want.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

- What are y'all doing?
- Oh.

I was, uh...

I was just telling Isabella
about our potato game.

- Love the potato game.
- Yeah.

- So fun.
- Fun.

Really? Remind me
what the rules are again.

- Well, first of all...
- Not you.

Her.

As you know, it's...

figuring out which president's head

is shaped like the potato.

So we got another Grover
Cleveland over here.

[CHUCKLES]

- Y'all want to go?
- Yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, Takoda.

Hey.

What time is it?



Wrong!

- It's time for...
- BOTH: Truth talk!

What have you and Steve
been whispering about?

- Is it about me?
- Or me?

- He blinked.
- A-ha.

I think that's just how eyes work.

BOTH: Ah!

What's going on? Why
are you talking to him?

Takoda, don't say a word.
You're coming with me.

Oh, no, you don't.
Truth talk is not over.

- Get a hobby.
- Oh, come on!

Oh, you're both surprisingly strong.

Gabby, shh, shh, drop it. Drop it!

- Shh.
- Okay.

Takoda, deal with you later.

I never choose violence,
but if you follow us,

I will be forced to activate
my helicopter arms.

- Okay.
- Oh, I'm so scared.

- Activate!
- Oh, God! Oh, God!

Jeez! Oh, my God!

I'm hit! I'm hit!

We don't want to be disturbed.

I know the feeling.

If Bobbie finds out the secret,

it could blow up their
whole relationship.

I'm nervous, Steve.

And cold...

so cold.

We need to find a way to keep
Cagney and Lacey away from you.

Wait. I've got it.

What is it?

Just trust me. I'll handle it.

Will you leave me and
everyone else alone

if I tell you the secret?

Absolutely.

And promise not to breathe
a word of it to anyone,

even Gabby?

Okay.

Takoda's in love with you.

What?

Takoda's in love with you.

Of course.

[SIGHS]

- Tips were good tonight?
- Yeah, pretty good.

Mm.

Nice.

Oh, God, you can cut
the tension with a knife.

You're a sweet kid, Takoda.

And you wouldn't be the first.

Thanks. You're sweet, too.

And I don't know what
that second thing means.

What does anything mean?

We're just bodies moving in space.

Takoda, are you in love with me?

What? No!

I mean... I'm sorry,

I don't mean to make it
sound like you're not lovable.

I mean, you're fun and
beautiful and... and womanly.

Stop.

Thank you.

If you're not in love with me,

why would Steve tell me you were?

That a*s.

He probably did it so that the two of us

would be too uncomfortable
to talk to each other.

That a*s.

Listen, Takoda,

I know the secret is
about me, not Gabby.

So I'll leave it up to you.

Is it something that you
think I have the right to know?

Yes, it is.

Okay.

Emmett's known about you for years.

What?

Isabella, I'm sorry.
I know this is a lot.

Wait. So...

how many people know?

Does Bobbie know?

No.

Emmett wanted to tell her
before they got too serious,

but things between them
just happened really fast.

Yeah, they did.

And they're about to get faster.

I have to stop her.

Isabella, I do love you like a sister.

Yeah, okay. I got to go.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

- That was absolutely fantastic, Bobbie.
- Thank you.

I'm going to need to
get that recipe from you.

Oh, well, I have a confession to make.

That is your recipe.

- I stole it from your kitchen.
- I know.

That's why I'm going to have
to get that recipe from you.

[LAUGHTER]

- Here you go.
- Oh, thanks.

I... I just wanted our
meal to be perfect.

- Oh.
- [SIGHS]

Mm.

I'm so happy right now.

Mm, me too.

More than happy.

[SIGHS] Emmett Hawkins,
I want you to know...

Hey! What's crack-a-lackin'?

I... I mean, you know, dinner for two.

[CRUNCHES]

Yum.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Tell me ten things you did today.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I... I was just talking
to Steve and Takoda

about the past and old promises.

I thought you had a
girls' night with Gabby.

Was that tonight? [SCOFFS]

I am such a goof.

No, you're not.

Not what?

A goof.

You're one of the most thoughtful people

I've ever known.

And thanks.

Bobbie and I are going to talk now.

Okay.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Emmett?

I'm going to tell you something

that I should have told you
when we first started dating.

Okay.

I have known about Isabella...

for years.

What?

Happy and I went to
the fishing shack one day,

and everything was just
as normal as it could be.

And out of the blue,

he just turned around and
looked at me, and he said...

I had an affair with another woman,

and...

we have a child together.

You knew this whole time?

He made me promise to never tell a soul.

He was my best friend, Bobbie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, you know,

I think I'm going to
have to sit on this a while.

Okay.

All right, well, I'll get out
of here and let you do that.

Okay.

[SIGHS]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

- Is Bobbie here?
- No, just Emmett.

[SIGHS] Does anybody
else's stomach hurt?

Steve, tell them.

I think everyone already knows.

Tell them.

Takoda doesn't love you.

- We know.
- Yeah.

I love you as friends.

Steve not so much.

Oh, I'm sorry I said someone loved you.

Isabella, I'm sorry you had to find out

about Emmett's secret this way.

How are you doing?

Honestly, I'm just worried
about Bobbie right now.

Well, since everything's
out in the open,

can we all agree not to keep secrets

- from each other anymore?
- Sure.

- Yeah.
- I backed into Steve's car.

Good morning.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Good morning.

Bobbie...

[SIGHS] I'm so sorry you
found out the way you did.

I know you are, Emmett.
I'm not here to fight with you.

Oh, good,

because I didn't get a
wink of sleep last night.

Yeah, me neither.

And while I was not sleeping,

I was trying to put
myself in your shoes.

And boy howdy, Daddy really
put you in a rough situation.

Well, I was going to tell you at first,

but then I kept, you
know, putting it off until...

it just felt like it was too late.

Well, you made a promise
and I respect you for keeping it.

You were a good friend.

You saying that...

means the world to me.

But I think that's...

all the two of us can be.

Just good friends.

Huh. Well...

are you ending things between us?

Because that's...

that's not what I want at all.

I just don't have it in me

to be anything more than that right now.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Is everything okay?
- Yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

You okay?

Yeah, thanks.

[BOBBIE CHUCKLES AND SNIFFLES]

- I love you.
- Love you, too.

So when exactly did
you back into my car?

Three weeks ago.

And you didn't tell me?

You didn't notice it the first time.

So I figured you wouldn't
notice it the second time.

You hit my car twice?

Oh, good Lord.

I get no credit for being honest.

I love you, Gabby.

I knew it.