01x05 - Chapter Five: Life Is Pain

[bunniefuu]

- HUMPERDINCK: Hit it.

- [BUGLE PLAYING]

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

♪

Someone has beaten a giant.

There will be great suffering

in Guilder if she dies.

[IMITATING HOOFBEATS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

♪

Get your breath.

If you release me,

whatever you ask for ransom,

you'll get it, I promise you.

[LAUGHING]

And what is that worth,

the promise of a woman?

- You're very funny, Highness.

- I was giving you a chance!

There's no greater hunter

than Prince Humperdinck.

He could track a falcon on a cloudy day.

He can find you.

You think your dearest

love will save you?

I never said he was my dearest love.

And yes, he will save me. That I know.

You admit to me you do

not love your fiancé.

[MOCKING TITTERS]

He knows I do not love him.

Are not capable of love, don't you mean?

I have loved more deeply than a

k*ller like you could ever dream.

That was a warning, Your Highness.

Next time my hand flies on

its own for where I come from,

there's a penalty when women lie.

[BUTTERCUP GASPS]

♪

Iocane!

I'll bet my life on it.

And there are the

princesses' footprints.

She's alive, or she was an hour ago.

If she is otherwise when I find

her, I shall be very put out.

[IMITATING HOOFBEATS]

- Bugle. Bugle.

- [BUGLE PLAYS FANFARE]

Rest, Highness.

I know who you are.

Your cruelty reveals everything.

You are the Dread

Pirate Roberts, admit it!

With pride. What can I do for you?

You can die slowly cut

into a thousand pieces.

Hardly complimentary, Your

Highness. Why loose your venom on me?

You k*lled my love!

It's possible. I k*ll a lot of people.

Who was this love of yours?

Another prince like this

one, ugly, rich, and scabby?

No.

A farm boy, poor.

Poor and perfect.

With eyes like the sea after a storm.

On the high seas your ship attacked,

and the Dread Pirate Roberts

never takes prisoners.

I can't afford to make exceptions.

Once word leaks out that

a pirate's gone soft,

people begin to disobey you

and then it's nothing but

work, work, work all the time.

- You mock my pain.

- Life is pain, Highness!

Anyone who tells you

differently is selling something.

I remember this farm boy of yours.

It should be, what, five years ago?

Does it bother you?

Nothing you can say will upset me.

He died well, that should please you.

No bribe attempts or

blubbering, he simply said,

"Please, please, I need to live."

It was the please that caught my memory.

I asked him what was

so important for him.

"True love," he replied.

He spoke of a girl of

surpassing beauty and faith.

I can only assume he meant you.

You should bless me for destroying him

before he found out what you really are.

And what am I?

Faithfulness, he talked of,

madam, your enduring faithfulness.

Now tell me truly, when

you found out he was gone

did you get engaged to

your prince the same hour

or did you wait a full week

out of respect for the dead?

You mocked me once, never do it again.

I died that day.

- HUMPERDINCK: Horses.

- [BUGLE PLAYING FANFARE]

♪

And you can die too for all I care.

[GRUNTING]

As you wish !

My sweet Westley, what have I done?

[GRUNTING]

Ooh!

[GRUNTING]

[DOG BARKING]

Disappeared, he must

have seen us coming.

It would account for

him panicking in error.

Unless I'm wrong

and I'm never wrong

they are headed dead

into the Fire Swamp.

[IMITATING HOOFBEATS]

You go and then I'll

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

♪

Can you move at all?

Move? You're alive.

If you want, I can fly.

I told you I would come for you.

- Why didn't you wait for me?

- Well

you were dead.

Death cannot stop true love.

All it can do is delay it for a while.

I will never doubt again.

There will never be a need.

♪

GRANDSON: On, no, no, please.

What is it? What's the matter?

They're kissing again. Do we

have to hear the kissing part?

[CHUCKLING]

You know, some day you

may not mind so much.

Skip on to the Fire

Swamp. That sounded good.

You're sick, so I'll humor you.

Let's see now, where were we? Ah!

"Westley and Buttercup raced

across the ravine floor."

Ha, your pig fiancé is too late!

[BUGLE PLAYS FANFARE]

A few more steps, and we'll

be safe in the Fire Swamp.

BUTTERCUP: We'll never survive!

WESTLEY: Nonsense. You're only

saying that because no one ever has.