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01x03 - Risky Business

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "How to Be A Cowboy". Aired: September 1, 2021.*
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Dale Brisby uses social media savvy and rodeo skills to keep cowboy traditions alive and now he's teaching the world how to cowboy right, ol' son.

01x03 - Risky Business

Post by bunniefuu »

[country music playing]

- Jorden, have you fed these bulls yet?

- No.

[Cheech] How often

do you feed these bulls?

Not enough.

Look at how wide his back is.

He's almost stout enough

for you to ride him.

[scoffs]

[Dale] What do you think

about Cheech on a bull?

[Jorden] You should do it.

No, it's just It's just not my thing.

- [Dale] Not gonna know until you try.

- [blabbering] "until you try."

- [Dale] You gotta expand yourself, Cheech.

- [Cheech] Expand?

- I've expanded enough.

- You've expanded enough?

Yes, that's why I am on a keto diet.

High protein, low carbs.

- [Dale] I saw you eating pizza yesterday.

- [Cheech] I have cheat days.

Look, I just feel like, as a cowboy

working on Radiator Ranch,

it's a rite of passage.

Everybody else has been on one.

Leroy, Donnie, myself, even Jorden.

I heard if you don't get on this bull,

you ain't no cowboy.

Well, Dale yeah!

- [Cheech] Let me think about it.

- You've been thinking for years.

Why don't you take one more week of keto,

and then we'll get you on a bull?

Now get out of there before he hooks you.

He does get kind of mean sometimes.

[country rock music playing]

Whoa ♪

[country music playing]

Well, it's trending.

We're getting a lot of hashtags.

Fourteen million views.

What's trending?

- [Dale] The video "Last Buck Out Of 20."

- You weren't there.

[Dale] Maybe that's why

it's doing so well.

- [laughs]

- Ah.

Not only do I run a ranch,

but I'm a businessman, ol' son.

A few years ago,

I started my apparel line.

Around the same time,

because I'm so awesome,

the social media thing blew up.

And now, because of my presence

on social media, I have several sponsors.

As you know,

Rock & Roll Denim make great jeans.

They want the greatest bull rider

of all time,

the one and only Dale Brisby Hoo!

to come in and pitch them

some social media video concepts.

Rock & Roll Denim, they were one

of my very first sponsors.

So when they call me for a meeting,

I take it very seriously.

So, what we need are ideas for videos

to make commercials

for them for social media.

Gonna go around the horn. Good ones only.

Been marinating on this one for a minute,

cowboy news anchors.

'Kay. Are we wearing jeans?

[smacks lips] Uh

[Dale] Hadn't thought that far?

Dale Brisby News,

brought to you by Rock & Roll Denim.

Okay. Rock & Roll Denim Live at Five.

- You bet.

- Bingo. What you got, Donnie?

Cowboy substitute teacher.

Hmm. 'Kay.

- [sighing] Wow.

- [Dale] It's a good start.

Good job. Jorden?

Cowboy delivery men.

You can be wearing the jeans

when you show up to deliver jeans.

I can see, like, a big cargo truck

that's got my face on it.

I like it. What do you got, Cheech?

Well, now that the JV's done,

let the varsity come in here, okay?

My dream is to be an entrepreneur.

I want to be a cowboy Mark Cuban.

But just like any business,

you need a way in.

I have a great idea.

It's called the Aqua Bull.

[music warps]

[crickets chirping]

[Dale] Gotta expand on it.

You can't just say "Aqua Bull."

Okay. We're gonna get a roping dummy,

put it on a raft,

and we're gonna pull it with a jet boat.

- So it's a fake bull?

- Essentially.

And you're gonna be on it

while you're wearing Rock & Roll Denims.

And you're gonna be able

to show them how awesome it is

that these pants allow you

to be able to get up there,

- spur, you're in the water

- [Dale] Mmm. Mmm.

Think about it. It's a great idea.

Why wouldn't you just call it,

like, the Sea Horse?

- That's part two.

- [Dale] I like it.

So, that means

I get to come to the meeting?

Why does that mean that?

No, that doesn't mean

Because you like it. I've wanted to

go to a meeting for a long time.

So, like, I've been waiting on this.

[Dale] Cheech, when we go in there,

it's usually just me and Leroy.

What are you

It's great Cheech wants

to expand himself as an entrepreneur.

I also think he needs

to expand himself as a cowboy.

Okay, listen.

I will let you go

if you also get on a bull.

So a bull for a bull.

You got to get on a real one, though.

- That's a terrible idea.

- I feel like we both got a win here.

How is this a win?

One, you go to the meeting.

Two, you get to get on a bull.

You're gonna be a cowboy.

Three, your idea's getting pitched.

It's a win-win-win win.

[sighs]

- Do it. Do it.

- Bull for a bull.

[Donnie and Leroy] Do it.

[breathes deeply]

[Dale] Bingo.

I've been trying to get Cheech

to ride a bull for years.

If he wants to be a businessman,

he needs to learn to ride.

Which brings us to today's lesson,

cowboys are always learning.

I don't know what I just got myself into,

but let's do it.

Meeting's adjourned.

[country music playing]

- [Dale] Yah!

- [Jorden] Giddy-up.

[Dale] Chh, chh, chh, chh!

Donnie, you're not ready yet?

[Donnie] Dude,

you literally just ran 'em in.

Gotta be ready.

Donnie's been getting on broncs

for about six months now.

He wants to go to his first rodeo,

but I think he needs to get through

this ladder system for him to get ready.

- Spur board

- [exhales]

done.

- Lift! Lift!

- Then he rode Brisket for eight seconds.

Get him.

- Kick over. Boy, Donnie! Yeah!

- [grunts]

[Dale] But Donnie's ride on Burrito

was not a success.

Spur! Spur! Spur!

[Leroy] Come on! Come on!

[grunts]

[Dale] That horse is young, fast,

and strong.

So now I wanna put him on The Baptist.

So we got Donnie D.

Gonna get on The Baptist.

It's his time to shine.

The Baptist went to

the National Finals Rodeo a long time ago,

so him and Burrito

are not that much different.

They just have a different trip.

If he can ride him eight seconds,

that's plenty for me to know

he's ready for a rodeo.

Have fun, man.

[Leroy] Donnie Daytona,

the next cowboy up.

Cheech, tell us what you think about him.

[Cheech] You know,

Donnie Daytona comes in here, folks,

on a horse we call The Baptist.

[Leroy] Go ahead, get in.

[Cheech] All right,

Donnie Ray Daytona getting set to go.

The Baptist is one of DB's better horses.

He has consistency.

He has the same tracks every single time.

That's good for learning.

So I'm gonna focus

on lifting and staying back.

[Cheech] Bear down, cowboy.

I'm ready to ride The Baptist.

I'm gonna do it.

[Leroy] Sit all the way down.

There you go.

- [announcer] Donnie Ray Daytona

- [Leroy] Whenever you're ready, Donnie.

[Cheech] Big nod. Get you out.

Here we go, folks!

[all yelling] Spur! Spur! Spur!

- [grunts]

- [buzzer buzzing]

[Cheech] Lots of air right there!

How is it, cowboy? You all right? Okay.

- You okay?

- [Donnie] Yeah.

- Okay. Do you like him?

- [Donnie] I just

[indistinct chatter]

I don't know.

- Think about it for a second.

- [Donnie] Yeah.

Slow yourself down and think about it.

I definitely started this horse

a lot better than my last ride.

And, uh, he took a hard left

and I was flying.

But I'm going to keep moving forward

and build off of it.

When he bucks guys off,

that's how he does it.

- When he circles to the left.

- Was I ever sitting good?

Yeah. First three or four jumps,

you looked great.

I really didn't want to come down hard

on my right shoulder.

I didn't.

I landed more on my back than anything.

Donnie didn't stay on

for eight seconds with The Baptist,

but he nailed the landing.

Believe it or not, there's a way

you gotta get bucked off

so you stay healthy for the next ride.

You were like a cat.

When you talk about learning how to

get bucked off,

that's what I'm talking about.

You're flying through the air

and you twisted.

You don't just fly through the air

and land like a sack of potatoes.

You gotta live

to get on tomorrow, you know?

When I came off,

I was like, this ain't gonna be that bad,

and I kinda hooked my foot

and I was like, dang, I'm high.

[Dale and Donnie laugh]

You were above Dale's head in the air.

You were up there.

Donnie made a great ride,

don't get me wrong.

But I'd really like to see him ride

The Baptist for a full eight seconds

before I think he's ready

to go to a rodeo.

If he can do that, then enter up, ol' son.

It's rodeo time.

[horse neighing]

[Dale] Good job.

[country rock music playing]

- Palm slap.

- Oh, dang.

Hi, J.B. How are you?

- Hey, we're gonna get him on a bull.

- Okay.

It's a big deal for Cheech to get on

a bull. There's chance you could get hurt.

So I brought in our good buddy

J.B. Mauney to, uh, help.

- [Cheech] I look like a bull rider?

- [Mauney] Yeah.

- No, I don't.

- Yeah.

What's wrong? You bumped your head?

Have you seen how a beach ball bounces?

You'll be good.

[chuckles, mimics ball bouncing]

- [Dale] You gotta get on a bull.

- [Cheech] Time to silence the naysayers.

For years and years, Dale has just

been pressing me to get on a bull.

Do I need to ride this bull? No.

For me, I already know that I can't.

But if it gets me into that meeting

and get to pitch my idea,

that's what I'm gonna do.

[Dale] Let me get a bull rope and a glove.

I'm not trying to put Cheech

on some dangerous bull.

I want to put him on Rickle.

Rickle is old, big, and,

as far as bucking bulls go, really safe.

But he's perfect for Cheech.

I want him to learn and experience it,

but I don't want him to get hurt.

Do they got a XXL?

I'm a double I'm between sizes.

You need a X and three-quarters.

[laughs]

[bull bellowing]

[man] Hopefully he don't step

in the middle of your chest.

We had to do a bit of cowboy rigging

in there. It kind of fit.

- [man chuckles] Tie yourself in.

- Perfect.

This is what they got me riding in.

Substandard equipment

from a substandard contractor.

Hey, you're in great hands.

Can't believe

I'm about to get on this bull.

But I've avoided it for a long time,

and so now it's time to do this.

It feel He feels big.

- You ready?

- [Dale] Stay in the middle of him.

You got him. Rodeo time, Cheecho.

All right, let's go.

Go forward! Forward!

- [Dale] Go, Cheech! Yeah!

- [buzzer buzzing]

[laughing] Yeah!

- Oh, wow.

- [Cheech] Yeah.

- [Dale] Oh, goodness. Oh.

- [Cheech chuckles]

- Does it hurt?

- [Cheech] Yeah, it hurts.

Ah, [bleep].

[Cheech and Leroy laugh]

- [Leroy] You okay?

- [Cheech exhales]

Yeah. Go ahead and tape her for me.

[Leroy] Does your finger go out like that?

No.

[Mauney] It's better now.

He popped it back in.

[Cheech] How's my form?

[yells in slow motion]

I'm proud of Cheech.

He got on a bull,

and he's a better cowboy for it.

He learned something new.

- Good job, Cheech. I'm proud of you.

- [laughs]

All I know is that I landed like a sack

of potatoes and a cat.

You're not really a bull rider

till you get hurt riding a bull.

Some could say

that's the best ride he ever had,

'cause now he's got an injury

and a story to it.

[Cheech] Thanks for the vest.

It saved my life.

- Good job.

- Thanks, man.

Let's talk about the ride.

What's he need to do different?

- [Mauney] Don't ever do it again.

- Bingo. I'm retired.

- It's a career-ending injury.

- [Dale chuckles]

Gonna put in some paperwork

to get some workman's comp outta this,

and I'm gonna milk that dude for a while.

All right. The deal's over.

I mean I mean, completed.

You held up your end of it.

- Other hand.

- Oh, my bad.

Yeah. I'm injured.

[Western music playing]

[Dale] Donnie's been bucked off Burrito,

he's been bucked off The Baptist.

I wanna see him do good on

a rodeo-quality horse

before we go to a rodeo.

He was like, "Give me The Baptist again,"

which is typical Donnie.

Man, that's cowboy.

So he's gonna conquer this horse

and then he'll be ready for the rodeo.

Okay, I got you.

Whoa. Whoa.

When you leave there, get your mark out.

And as he leaves, the main thing,

the most important thing,

is lift and stay back.

[Leroy] It's go time, D-Dawg.

[Jorden] Have fun.

Ever since I got bucked off Baptist,

I've been wanting to get back on him

and ride for eight.

- [Jorden] Let's go, Donnie!

- Ready, ol' son?

That's all I want to do.

- [Leroy] Like it?

- [Dale] Lift your butt off. Stay back.

[Jorden] Lift, Donnie.

Okay.

- [Dale] Yeah, Donnie!

- [Jorden] Go, Donnie!

[all yelling] Spur! Spur! Spur!

Lift! Lift! Lift!

[Leroy] Whoo! Yeah!

- [Dale] You all right? Good job.

- [Leroy] Heck yeah! Good job.

[Dale] That was a good second

and third effort.

That's a win there.

[Jorden] He just kept trying.

- That's the most important part.

- [Leroy] Dang right.

[Dale] Donnie almost gets sat up

on his second ride on The Baptist

just like he did on the first ride,

but he grits it out, he lifts,

he gets himself sat back down

in the saddle,

recovers, and rides him for eight seconds.

Huge win for Donnie. Huge win.

A lot of guys would've quit right there,

when he came around.

That was awesome.

It's just a great feeling.

- [Leroy] You kept your head in the game.

- That's a big thing.

Beginners don't do that.

When beginners get jacked up

out of the seat this much,

they look for somewhere to land.

- Yeah.

- [Dale] That was cool.

Been doing this a while.

Sometimes it feels like

you're just spinning your wheels.

So to see results, it really feels good.

I know it feels good to ride a bronc,

but how does it feel to ride a bronc

that you've previously been bucked off of?

Well, the horse has been to the NFR.

Now I guess, like, technically,

like, I've been to the NFR. Like

- [Dale] In a way. In a way.

- Yeah, like, in spirit.

After seeing Donnie ride The Baptist,

he's completed the ladder system I created

and he's proven to me

that he's ready for rodeo time.

I'm pretty much professional now.

- Hey, I get it.

- [chuckles]

- [Dale] I'm just that good of a teacher.

- Yeah.

I've been thinking about where Donnie

needs to have his first ride at a rodeo.

There's an amateur rodeo coming up

in Henrietta that I think will be perfect.

It's a really fun hometown rodeo.

There's gonna be a lot of people there.

The stock is gonna be

just perfect for Donnie, I think.

Do you have a victory dance?

Okay. Okay.

You make your big moves on the bronc,

and make your small moves in the dance.

- Is that the Macarena?

- I don't know what it is.

[country music playing]

All right, gentlemen,

thanks for coming in.

Come on in here. Have a seat.

Yeah, no problem.

I'll sit at the head of the table.

No, no, no.

- Why would you sit here?

- Well, he said to take a seat.

[Dale] Social media.

What's been working, what's not been?

Anything with my face in it

has been going great.

100%. Like, we're talking

a 20% increase in the first hour.

Well, you're welcome.

What I've got are some ideas of more ways

to get me in front of your people.

Cowboy news reporters.

Cheech can be in charge of weather.

Leroy in charge of, uh

I don't know, local flavor.

I'd be the main anchor, of course.

[JD] I'm really not trying to poke holes,

'cause your videos

have done wonders for me,

but does this dangerously

sound close to the plot of Anchorman?

It would be very close to that, yes.

- But cowboy.

- But cowboy.

- [Matt] They'd be wearing cowboy hats.

- Cowboy hats.

Cowboy delivery men.

We are delivering the jeans

to online shoppers,

but we're in our feed trucks.

Any more ideas, Dale?

[Dale] Cowboy substitute teachers.

I'm not sure what it has to do with denim,

but it could work.

I think it's it's an idea.

[Dale] Cowboy yoga.

To really demonstrate the mobility

behind the ReFlex.

A cowboy doing yoga?

[Cheech] I'm watching Dale right now,

and he is struggling.

I'm talking Rock & Roll Denim

is about to rock and roll on out of here.

So I I think it's time

to drop the Aqua Bull.

Hey.

Which brings us to my final idea,

is me on a bull,

but being pulled behind a boat.

Yahtzee.

- On the water.

- [Dale] On the water.

- Like on a wakeboard.

- Ish.

Kind of like an Aqua Bull,

I guess, of sorts.

So the bull's on the board,

and then you're on that bull.

It'd be like a roping dummy

with a bull head.

Big budget, though.

Like, this is high end.

You know how when they do the jumps,

you send them across the wake.

It'll just be different.

Where does the denim come into play here?

I'm wearing it.

On the bull.

It's a great idea.

It's flawless.

I like it.

It's so crazy, I kinda like it.

- [Dale] You're gonna love it.

- I call driver.

Yes!

Pow, pow, pow, pow! Pow!

[mimics spinning handguns]

[blows]

I knew they were gonna love that idea!

That's how you cowboy-preneur.

If you decide

you want to do more of a budget,

throw in maybe a couple

of the other ideas

Cheech's idea worked.

He's learning to be a better businessman.

And, thanks to me, a better cowboy,

'cause he got on a bull.

After you.

- [Matt] Thank you.

- You're welcome.

[Leroy] Thanks.

[Cheech] While I'm here,

can I get some pants?

- [JD] Yes.

- Can I have these?

Come on. Get out, Cheech. Golly.

Those aren't gonna fit you. Those are 32s.

[country music playing]

Check it out. Dale Brisby is at the lake.

Cheech earned his two spots at the table.

We're gonna do his idea, the Aqua Bull.

And, yes,

it's just a roping dummy on a raft,

but it's perfect for social media.

- How's my hair look?

- Good, man.

[grunts]

All right, let's go.

Yeah-bo!

We're gonna make a circle.

[engine whirring]

[Dale] Whoo! Whoo!

[Cheech] This is Dale Brisby.

He's a seven-time national finalist

and going to set the arena record

at Possum Kingdom,

brought to you by our friends

at Rock & Roll Denim!

[guffaws]

[Leroy] Now he's on there backwards.

[Dale] Oh yeah, you got it.

If you can't ride a bull backwards

on the lake, you ain't no cowboy.

Whoo!

Cheech surprised me, because this content

is exactly what they need. It's funny.

[screaming]

It captures the essence of the denim.

Whoo!

I think once I show them this,

they'll be blown away.

Oh, dang. He goin' fast now.

Seeing Dale on my Aqua Bull

makes it all that much more worthwhile.

So it serves as a reminder.

If I want to be cowboy Mark Cuban,

I need to keep learning

as a cowboy and an entrepreneur.

[Dale] Yeah, buddy!

Here it comes! Here it frickin' comes!

[Leroy chuckles] He's down.

He's down. He's down.

[Jorden laughing]

That was funny.

[Cheech] How's that

life vest going? [laughs]

[Dale] Complacency is the enemy

of success,

and cowboys are always learning.

Donnie learned some hard lessons

in bronc riding,

and Cheech learned how to become

a better cowboy and businessman

by riding a bull

and pitching a great idea.

I learned something too.

I guess I could take other people's ideas

once in a while.

[Donnie] How did it feel

to buck off of it?

- [Dale] That's not what happened.

- It's not?

[Dale] The bull turned over on me

in the arena.

[Cheech laughs]

[Western music playing]

[Cheech] This is what

they got me riding in.

Substandard equipment

from a substandard contractor.