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03x05 - Child's Play

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Floor Is Lava". Aired: June 19, 2020 – September 30, 2022.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


The show's premise is based on that of the children's game of the same name.

03x05 - Child's Play

Post by bunniefuu »

[electronic music playing]

Hey! I'm high above The Kid's Room
up in the Lava Lounge.


This oversized world of wonders

is filled with all sorts of games
and gadgets galore.


I've super-sized
all my favorite childhood toys.


You can scale an extra-sketchy board,

slide under 90,000 gallons of lava,

or teeter-totter
to the four-in-a-row board


to solve the giant puzzle cube.

The top two teams will advance
to compete head-to-head


and try to cap the Volcano.

The team who does it first
wins $10,000 and the
Floor Is Lava Lamp.[/i]

Let's see who's ready to run wild
in this big Kid's Room,


on Floor Is Lava.[/i]

Our first team is a trio
of improv teachers for at-risk youth.


-Say hello to...
-[all] Zip Zap Zop!


{\an8}"Zip Zap Zop" is a theater game.

We use it as a warm-up, as an icebreaker...

{\an8}If you've ever taken a theater class,
you have played this game.


The first person to start the game
is "zip."


They make eye contact with the person
that they will send their energy to.


-Zip!
-Zap!


Zop!

It's about eye contact,
being in contact with your teammates,


which will help us out in this game.

I would say my skill is climbing.
I love to climb. So, pretty agile.


{\an8}I'm the strategist,

checking in, like, where can we go?
What can we do? What are our options?


I am a marathon runner.
I've done one triathlon.


So, I have endurance and stamina.
I've got the balance.


This lava ain't gonna be nothing for us.

It's a piece of lava cake.

There you go.

[Rutledge] Here we got team Zip Zap Zop.

Improv is all about thinking on your feet.

Can they think on their feet
to get through this room quickly?


That is way more lava-y
than I anticipated.


Hey, I'm up here, guys!

-Hey, Rutledge!
-[Rutledge] All right, Zip Zap Zop.


Just like in improv,
nothing in this room is out of bounds.


Be sure to say "yes" to the exit passes,

'cause there's no way to leave the room
without them.


[Robert] There's the pass
below the balloons.


A pass up there, on the other side.
There's the other pass.


I can do that. I can do that.

And only the top two teams
go on to the Volcano.


So channel Robin Williams-level quickness
and agility.


-Are you ready?
-Yes.


[Rutledge] Then improvise this:

don't fall in, because the floor is...

[all] Lava!

[Zach] Oh my God.

It's like the ooze from Ghostbusters 2.[/i]

-Whoa! Oh God!
-This is where all that ooze went.


-So...
-Can you make that?


-I can make that. Yeah.
-[Robert] Okay.


[Zach] You can do this.

[Rutledge] Marathon runner Marta[/i]
looks ready to make that short jump[/i]

to the dresser.

-I think you can make it.
-One, two, three!


{\an8}-[Rutledge] And there... Oh no!
-[yelling]


{\an8}[Rutledge] Oh my gosh!

{\an8}How did that–?

That happened so fast,
we gotta see that again.


She misjudged the distance, came up short,
and was unable to grab the dresser.


This is what happens when a marathoner
tries to sprint.


With Zip gone, Zap and Zop
have a lot of work to do.


-I'm gonna go for this.
-Go for it.


-This is tricky.
-[/i]Grab the edges of the dresser.

-There you go! Nice, nice.
-Okay. All right.


-I think headfirst down into that tube.
-Coming through.


[Rutledge] A new role for Robert[/i]
entering that 25-foot slide.[/i]

Okay, this is good. This is doable.

[grunts]

All right, slide. Now what?

[Rutledge] Don't stop to think,[/i]
just keep moving.[/i]

I'll go this way, you go that way.
I'll meet you there.


[Robert] Okay.

-All right. So...
-All right.


-[Robert] You good?
-[Zach] I'm good, I'm good.


[Rutledge] Both of them have[/i]
a long way to go[/i]

if they wanna get to that exit.

This Kid's Room is not child's play.

[Robert] Oh boy!

Okay.

All right. Here we go. Here we go.

[Robert] Wait for it...

[Rutledge] Watch out, Zach.[/i]
You know what lives under every kid's bed...[/i]

[Zach] Whoo, made it.

[Rutledge] That's right, a monster[/i]

that you can use as a stepping stone
to get through the room.


[Zach screams]

Demogorgon!

It's the Stranger Thing.

[Zach grunts]

-Oh, bloody nose.
-[sci-fi music playing]


[Rutledge] Pretty good.[/i]

On a scale of one to 11,

"Eleven" being the telepathic kid
from
Stranger Things,[/i]

I give it an eight.

[Robert] Oh boy...

-Can you climb that to get that pass?
-I don't know.


It's this little balance thing
that's super tricky.


You climb it like a rope in gym class.

-I didn't take gym class!
-[music warps]


What?

[Robert] I... was in the band.

Oh my God. Now you tell me!

[Rutledge] Not a lot of[/i]
upper body strength for us band geeks.[/i]

-Oh boy.
-[Zach] Come back to...


There you go! There you go!

[Rutledge] And he got it![/i]

Which means he can
get out of the Kid's Room.


Heck yeah, Robert!

Forget pumping iron.
Just curl some clarinets.


I'm gonna try this ladder.

Just like doing planks at the gym,
slow and steady.


[Robert] Take your time!

Slow and steady.

Oh, it's slimy up here too.

Oh God. Oh, the lava is everywhere.

[gasps] The pass, the pass.

The pass!

I did it! I got it.
I got the second exit pass!


[Robert] Heck yeah!

[Rutledge] If both Robert and Zach[/i]
can make it across the room,[/i]

their team stands a good chance
of making it to the Volcano.


-This is the zip line?
-[/i][Rutledge] Well, now it's a Zap line.[/i]

I'll do the hopscotch.

-You're gonna do the hopscotch?
-Yeah. Here we go.


[Rutledge] Yeah, here we go.[/i]

[epic music playing]

-[music warps]
-Got it.


[Rutledge] That's it?[/i]
I was expecting more.[/i]

-I'll try to get to the bed.
-Okay.


[Rutledge] And look at that![/i]
Captain Zach Sparrow[/i],

swinging in
like he's in his own action movie.


-[Robert cheers]
-See, Robert? That's how it's done.[/i]

I'll try to get to this cube.
I think it might help us get to the end.


Can you jump it?

-[Zach] This is a big jump.
-Okay.


[Rutledge] Robert's smartly avoiding[/i]
the pink tiles on the hopscotch.[/i]

They're booby traps.

-[Zach] Yes! With those long legs!
-Got it, got it.


-It's all right.
-Can you get there?


-I have to go over it.
-Okay. Yeah, yeah.


[Rutledge] Zach about to take that leap[/i]
onto the puzzle cube.[/i]

Not only is it a six-foot jump across
and four feet high,


but that bed is very unstable.

-This is a big jump, bro.
-That's a big jump.


This is a big jump. Do you wanna go first?

[laughs] Do I wanna go first?

Just give it momentum,
because this will stop you.


-[Zach grunts]
-[Robert] You got it, you got it! Yeah!


[Rutledge] He's made it![/i]

-[Zach grunts]
-Okay.


-I can do one of these in two minutes.
-Turn that.


[Rutledge] Weird time for a humble brag,[/i]
but whatever.[/i]

We got a step here.

[Rutledge] Now that will lock in place[/i]

and give you an extra step
towards the exit.


I think you can make it,
but I'm not the one jumping.


I wonder if I can just step from here.

You think so? The lava has an opinion.

-I'm gonna go for it.
-Okay.


[Robert] You got it.

{\an8}-[Zach grunts]
-Yeah!


Yes!

[Rutledge] And a successful curtain call[/i]
for Zach as he exits stage left.[/i]

[grunts] Yeah!

I gotta get there first.

You can totally make that!
I think you should go there, then there.


-And then there?
-Yeah.


[exhales]

-All right. Okay.
-I believe in you, man.


This is for Marta! Marta!

Oh boy. It's for Marta.
That's never a good sign.


Come on, boy. You got this.

Nice!

-Oh!
-Stay on! Stay on!


{\an8}[yells] No!

Why have you forsaken my team?!

[Rutledge] Zip Zap Zop lost its zip[/i]
when Marta exited stage down.[/i]

[both] No!

[Rutledge] Robert dropped the ball[/i]
and slipped into the lava,[/i]

along with his hopes of leaving the room.

But Zach knew the show must go on,

and got his team up on the board.

Will the one exit be enough
to take them to the Volcano?


Oh! There he is.

-Nicely done.
-Thank you!


Yes, and there they are.

Oh, guys, here. I...
I got you this. Maybe you could share.


Marta, Robert, tell me,
what's the lava like? I've never been in.


It is like a day at the spa.

You're not hurt, you're obviously alive.

Yeah. We got out alive. We made it out.

Well, let's see if our next team can get
more people through the room.


These three Fitness BFFs
have a long track record


of not letting anything
stand in their way.


They're a red light's worst nightmare.

Here come The Unstoppables!

[woman 1] Wow.

-[woman 2] Whoo!
-[woman 3] Wow.


-Let's look around.
-What are we gonna do?


So, basically what makes us Unstoppable:

{\an8}our attitudes, our drive,
our willingness to not give up.


{\an8}We are, like, the most unstoppable trio
that you can ever see.


We're the dynamic three.

{\an8}I am a former gymnast.

{\an8}For me, I could hold myself...
I have upper strength.


And Alana has long legs.

Yes, track and field,
long jump, triple jump.


So, lava ain't nothing but a thing.

[all] We're The Unstoppables
and we're ready to go, go, go!


Whoo! It's getting close! [laughs]

[Rutledge] Hey, Unstoppables!

-[Unstoppables] Hey!
-How you doing?


All right. Let's examine the space,
devise a route,


and don't stop till you reach the exit.

And remember, the faster
you grab an exit pass the better,


because they can be a tiebreaker.

Now, only the top two teams
will meet on the Volcano.


So move with speed and purpose.

Okay, you're going that way,
we're going that way.


Okay.

One final rule:
don't fall in, because the floor is...


[all] Lava!

[Alana] Okay! Let's go!

[Chanel] Oh my gosh. Okay. All right.

-Okay, Amirah.
-Okay. All right.


-I got this one.
-You got it?


-Yep. Okay.
-Take your time with...


[Chanel] Okay.

[Rutledge] Fitness fanatic Chanel[/i]
said her specialty is upper body strength.[/i]

She'll need it
to cross the wobbly Newton's Cradle.


-She looks a little unsteady.
-[Chanel] All right!


[Alana] Okay, Amirah.

[Rutledge] Former gymnast Amirah[/i]
sticks the landing on the dresser.[/i]

-That was a tough jump.
-[Robert laughs]


[Rutledge] That's only a two-inch foothold[/i]
on the extra sketchy board.[/i]

But Alana is holding on.

-[Alana] You guys good?
-Yeah!


[Alana] Okay.

sh**t.

[Rutledge] Alana's the one to watch.[/i]
She's the strongest athlete on the team.[/i]

If she can just reach
those track-star legs across to the...


{\an8}Oh no!

{\an8}[yelling]

{\an8}There goes Alana.

{\an8}Oh my gosh, let's see that again.

Track star Alana
perfected a lesser-known event,


the wrong jump.

And the Unstoppable trio
is now down to a duo.


-[Amirah] Who fell?
-She doesn't know!


She doesn't know,
'cause she was in the tunnel.


-Amirah, did you fall too?
-No.


-What happened?
-Congratulations, baby, you made it.


What happened? Wait, where'd she go?

[Rutledge] Well, Amirah,[/i]
let me sketch it out for you.[/i]

[Chanel] Oh no!

She gone.

[Amirah] Oh man.

[Chanel] I'm here,
but I don't know what to do.


[Rutledge] Chanel can't move[/i]
the teeter-totter[/i]

because the weighted stuffed monkey
is holding it down.


Hm.

If she only had
a lifelong best friend to help.


I've known Amirah for ten years plus.

No, it's over 20.

Over 20? Okay, good to know.

I've been knowing Chanel since we were
little bitty boppers in the sandbox.


Everything we do, we're together.
There's not one without the other.


Let's go, Amirah.

[Rutledge] Despite being down a member,[/i]
you guys are still sticking together.[/i]

And you'll need to, because both of you
will need exit passes


if you want a shot at besting Zip Zap Zop.

[Zach laughs]

She's like, "Excuse me."

[Rutledge] First, Amirah, you have to[/i]
knock that weighted monkey off your back.[/i]

And by "back," I mean teeter-totter.

[Amirah] Hey!

-Okay, hold on.
-[Chanel] I wonder if I can jump on it?


-[Amirah] Hold on, do not.
-Okay.


[Rutledge] Not a good idea[/i]
to jump from there.[/i]

Unless you wanna catapult your BFF
across the room.


Oh!

They're making me so nervous.

Come on! I need you. You cannot leave me.

[Chanel laughs] I don't...

-[Amirah] I'm coming.
-I can do this.


Hold on. Grab my arm.

Front.

-[Chanel laughs]
-Come on. Get up on that now.


Oh! Look at that teamwork!

You want me to climb over you?

No. Hold on. I'm gonna come back...

[Rutledge] A visual analogy here,[/i]

as long-term friendship
is a bit of a balancing act.


How are they going to do this?

-This is serious.
-[/i]Yeah, it is. We got this though.

-Stay down.
-Okay.


-I'm about to get... Stay down!
-Okay.


-I gotta get this.
-Go ahead.


-Don't move.
-Stay here. I'll wait till you get there.


[Rutledge] Look at that![/i]

A little teamwork and ingenuity
lifted her right up to that exit pass.


No climbing necessary.

Hold on... Whoo!

From the teeter-totter,

she has multiple ways
she can leave the room.


All right, I'm about to go here.
So come down.


I'm gonna jump this way. All right.

Okay. I'm gonna figure it out.

[Rutledge] There we go![/i]

"Find the piece to release."
Where is the piece?


[Rutledge] If Amirah wants[/i]
to scale the four-in-a-row board,[/i]

Chanel will need to
pull the piece to allow her to climb.


And it is a Kid's Room,

so that spare piece
certainly isn't in the box.


-You probably gotta go that way.
-Yeah.


-[Amirah] You good?
-[/i]I don't have a choice.

[Rutledge] You don't have a choice,[/i]

like when a best friend
asks you to help them move.


[Amirah] Come on. You got it.

-