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02x01 - Return of the Virzi Triplets

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Floor Is Lava". Aired: June 19, 2020 – September 30, 2022.*
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The show's premise is based on that of the children's game of the same name.

02x01 - Return of the Virzi Triplets

Post by bunniefuu »

[dramatic music playing]

[thunder rumbling]

[Rutledge] It started here,

the source of it all.

This expl*sive volcano has released

90,000 gallons of hot lava,

flooding all new rooms.

This season,

teams will face epic obstacles…

[man grunting, yelling]

…super-sized jumps…

[screaming]

…and risk the wrath of the lava.

[yelling]

[Rutledge] In the end,

the top two teams will go head-to-head…

-[girl screaming]

-[man] No!

…and try to cap the mighty volcano,

on Floor Is Lava.

I am so excited because we're about to see

one of my favorite rooms, The Garage.

[rock music playing]

[Rutledge] To get through this room,

our three teams

can choose any number of paths.

A rocking drum solo

can lower a wetsuit for easier access

to a switch that slows down

a speeding treadmill.

They can take a flying leap

to a floating raft,

and kick the tires of a '56 Porsche,

where the right combination to a lock box

will open the door

to the room's only exit,

but they'll each need an exit pass

in order to leave.

Will they paddle their way to a win

or will they ride the spinning bike wheel

straight into the lava?

The competition is road tested

and ready to burn rubber

across the hottest room in the house,

The Garage.

Let's get going and meet our first team

looking to get through The Garage.

First up, this team of comedians

met in the clubs

and they've been waiting

their whole careers

to perform in a room this hot,

the Stand-Up Squad.

[man] What?

-[man 2] Wow!

-[man 3] Oh my God!

This is crazy!

-[man] Do it!

-Okay.

[beat boxing]

[Danny] You're bringing it up!

The floor is lava

And it's probably hot ♪

Are we gonna fall? Probably not ♪

[all laughing]

Even though we're stand-up comics,

we are taking this serious.

I'm the muscle of the group.

If there's something that needs to be

pulled down or anything like that,

I'm the guy for the job.

I'm gonna be the motivator. Okay?

We all need someone

to cheer these people on.

Well, my teammates,

but they're people too.

We made Tommy the leader

because he has a bandana.

-I'm… I'm sorry, this is an ascot.

-[Willie] I'm… I'm sorry.

-An ascot.

-Yeah, thank you very much. Mm-hmm.

We are focused. We are motivated.

We are gonna win this thing, man.

Hey, hey, fellas!

-Hey!

-Hey, Rutledge!

All right, Stand-Up Squad,

it is time to get serious.

You'll each need an exit

pass in order to leave

and also find the garage door opener

to the exit.

We got this!

Oh, and one final rule,

don't fall in because the floor is…

[all] Lava!

[intense music playing]

One of us is gonna have to figure out

how to get on this Porsche.

[Danny] So I'm gonna climb on this

and then I'm gonna hang on the suits.

[Rutledge] Tommy's off to a quick start

and immediately goes to the drumsticks.

[team exclaiming]

[Rutledge] Tommy's drum solo

has dropped the middle wetsuit

and they didn't even notice!

I'm guessing observational comedy

isn't their forte.

With that middle wetsuit lowered,

they now have a clear path

to the fast-slow switch on the wall.

I don't know what that means,

but I know you wanna go slow.

-Okay.

-Maybe that's for the treadmill?

[Rutledge] Pretty sharp, Tommy.

You are correct.

-Tommy, I guess you're going over there.

-[Danny] Are you gonna make it?

-[Rutledge] Oh! Oh! He is on the cymbal!

-[team cheering]

-[Rutledge] Tommy!

-Yeah, that's the one!

[Rutledge] Making moves!

Is that Tommy Lee? No, just Tommy.

-Here we go. One, two--

-Three!

-No! I'm counting! I… I go on five!

-[Danny] Oh. Five, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Four!

-[Tommy] Oh yeah, Willie!

-[Willie] Yeah!

-[Willie] We did it!

-Good job, guys! Now what?

-Danny, you still up there?

-Yes.

[Rutledge] He's supposed

to be the motivator,

but Danny looking

like he's got stage fright.

Yeah! There you go, Danny.

[Rutledge] Oh, there we go.

A nice, gentle three feet.

-[Willie] Here we go.

-[Tommy] Let's go, Willie!

[Rutledge] Willie, not waiting

for Danny to slow down that treadmill.

A big-time risk!

-And he lands it!

-[team cheering]

[Danny] Whoo! Good job, Willie!

-I didn't know you could jump that high!

-Shut up!

[Rutledge] Stand-Up Squad,

this set is really starting to drag.

You guys gotta get a move on.

Danny, pull that lever while you at it.

[Danny straining]

Yeah, I did it!

-[Willie] All right.

-I got the lever!

[Rutledge] With the lever flipped,

the treadmill slows down from deadly

to merely extremely dangerous.

Where do I go now, guys?

There's a paddle.

And you gotta paddle your way to this box.

[Danny] Okay, okay.

[Rutledge] Wow.

Willie really taking charge out there.

Definitely seems like

the headliner of the group.

Wait a minute, where's Tommy going?

[both yelling]

[Rutledge] Whoa, man!

Tommy getting reckless with that jump.

Nearly canceled Willie

and wiped both of them out.

Tommy, why'd you jump that with me?

All right. I'm just gonna get my steps in.

[Danny] Who's idea was this?

[Willie] Here we go.

Three, two… four.

-Willie!

-[car alarm wailing]

[Rutledge] Nice! He made it.

Willie must not work blue

because that jump was absolutely clean.

[Willie grunting]

[Rutledge] Okay, Willie.

Now you need to figure out

the combination to the lock box

to open the garage door.

Help me figure out

what this code would be.

[Tommy] So,

the only number I see is 8-2-9.

-[Willie] 8-2-9.

-[Tommy] 8-2-9.

[Danny] Oh, God. Oh, God.

[Rutledge] Boy, for a comic,

Danny's not as comfortable

with stand-up as you would think.

You know, stand-up paddle board.

Oh. Anyway, be sure to tip your waitstaff.

-[buzzer beeping]

-It's not 8-2-9.

Oh, oh.

There's a license plate that says 3-5-6.

Three-five-six.

Yes!

-[Danny] I did it!

-[Willie] There you go!

Hey! I opened it! It opened.

[car alarm blaring]

-[team cheering]

-[Rutledge] The door is open!

[Tommy] Now we gotta get our passes.

-[Danny] Okay.

-There's one there.

And then there's one over there.

Let's go, boys! Come on! Double time!

[car alarm blaring]

[Rutledge] Oh, wow.

Tommy with the lightning fast moves.

It must be the ascot.

It's like a mini superhero cape.

-[Tommy] Here we go.

-[Willie] Yeah!

[Rutledge] All right!

Tommy's got the first exit pass.

[team cheering]

-Dan!

-What?

-Climb here, jump on the wheel.

-How?

How? Use that upper body strength

that you don't have!

-Come on, you got this, Danny.

-This is not gonna end well.

You got it! Come on.

-[Danny screaming]

-Go!

One, two, three!

You gotta go!

It's not gonna work!

You got it! You gotta go! There we go!

[Rutledge] Danny successfully

making it to the squat rack.

Oh my God!

[Rutledge] Willie preparing to make

the leap to the Pe-lava-ton,

pedaling that exercise bike

will bring the floating raft closer,

turning an eight-foot jump

into a small step.

[Willie yelling]

-Willie!

-[Rutledge] And Willie lands the jump!

[Tommy] What? Oh no.

[Rutledge] You know,

if they win the $10,000,

they'll be halfway toward

a Pe-lava-ton monthly subscription.

Oh, my hero!

Yeah.

I can't make it!

[Danny whimpering]

-[Danny] I did it!

-[Willie] Hold on, Danny!

[Tommy] Hold on, Danny!

[Danny] Yes! I got an exit pass.

[Rutledge] Danny finally finding

his mojo at the 11th hour

and now is the closest to the exit.

Oh, God. All right, I'm going, I'm going.

[Danny groaning]

Okay.

Oh, God. Oh, God. I almost had it.

Dang it.

-[Tommy] Oh no!

-Danny!

-No!

-[Tommy] No!

[Rutledge] He makes the jump,

but overshoots the landing

and he is out of there!

I'm gonna need a call back

on that piece of slapstick.

-[Tommy screaming] No!

-Danny!

Danny!

Did you hear about Danny?

He's off the wagon.

Two drink minimum, folks. Okay.

And with Danny out,

the Stand-Up Squad

will not have a perfect set,

but they still have a chance

to get two of them through the door.

-I'm jumping on here.

-Okay.

Here we go.

[Rutledge] Tommy lowers the storage rack

as another possible exit route.

-[Willie grunting]

-[Tommy] Let's go, Willie!

-I got an exit pass!

-[Tommy] Yeah!

That's what I'm talking about, Willie!

What am I gonna do?

[Rutledge] Tommy, so focused.

With just two team members left,

not a lot of comic relief

for the Stand-Up Squad.

All right. Here we go.

[Rutledge] That's a swinging distance

of nine feet.

He needs to get some momentum

if he's gonna land it.

[Willie grunting]

-[Rutledge] And he made it!

-All right. Here, can you grab this?

[Rutledge] Whoa, whoa. Can he grab it?

Oh, no!

Tommy is down!

I lost all my friends!

[Rutledge] Tommy seemed sure he could snag

that rack, but whiffs the grab!

The Stand-Up Squad

can kiss Tommy's ascot goodbye.

Oh! These guys are dying down there.

[intense music playing]

You got this, Willie.

You gotta do it for everybody else.

[Rutledge] Willie to the wagon!

Will he make it?

Will he?

One, two, three.

Four!

[yelling]

[Rutledge] Willie

with the superman dive makes it out!

Willie, you crushed that set.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

I did it for you all!

You couldn't take me down, lava!

You couldn't take me down!

[Rutledge] Now, that is funny.

In the end, Danny was more of

a fall-down comic than a stand-up.

While he gave it his all,

Tommy's run fell flat

when he slipped into the lava,

but it was Willie who got the last laugh,

leaping to victory and putting

the Stand-Up Squad on the board.

Hey, buddy. Nicely done!

Hey! Thank you, thank you.

Man, you crushed it.

Oh! Fellas, hey!

Here, I… I got you guys, uh…

-So just share that.

-You're so helpful.

Just a little something.

-We still got a chance, boys.

-You do.

I feel like we still got it.

I mean, you should feel the pressure is on

'cause what we're about to see

could determine whether you stay or go.

Brace yourself.

[Rutledge] Next,

what do you call three family men

experienced with diapers,

deadlifts, and dad jokes?

[all] Bad Daditude!

-[baby crying]

-[shushing]

We originally met in our midlife crisis,

joining the same gym.

[man] Yeah.

We all, uh, go to a CrossFit gym.

Only Tanner goes.

Chris and I just pay a monthly fee.

Well, I've got one daughter who's two.

[Chris] I have two sons,

Hugo and Rocky, four and seven months.

Uh, I'm actually Uncle Tanner.

I have Harper, and Haven, and JJ,

and Bowman, and Walker.

I think Bad Daditude's

winning this because… we need this.

I'm a singer, and an actor,

and write my own music,

and do Broadway stuff,

but also life is a little Groundhog Day.

We wake up. We do diapers and school.

Then it's bedtime, and it's bottles,

and it's crying…

I'm sorry.

I just need to let out some rage.

[Luke] Chris,

I'm hoping if I see that exit,

I can call on you

to just sing me to the exit.

I'm gonna have to summon the angels

with a… with a tune.

-Lava.

-Let's do it!

-Bad Daditude!

-[all] Bad Daditude!

-[shushing]

-[baby crying]

[whispering indistinctly]

-[Luke] All right.

-[team] Whoa!

[Tanner] Oh my God!

Whoa!

[Luke] Way bigger

and harder than I thought.

-Terrible decision to bring our children.

-Who's idea was this?

What's up, guys?

-What's goin' on, Rutledge?

-Hey!

Okay, Daditude,

this is one garage you can't hide in.

So, don't tinker too long,

because only the top two teams

move to the volcano

for a chance at $10,000.

Oh! And one final rule,

don't fall in because the floor is…

[all] Lava!

It's lava, just in case.

-[Rutledge] Thank you.

-Lava.

-Maybe I'll do this route.

-All right, let's go!

Leeroy Jenkins!

-[Rutledge] Ooh.

-[laughing]

[Danny] Wow.

Nice jump. They went right into it.

These guys are bjorn to do this.

-Rock out.

-Let's see you rock out.

Frankie and the Unicorns, 8-29,

that could be a thing.

[Rutledge] Luke, on the drum. Okay.

Reading the sign.

Is he gonna follow the clue?

No. I guess he's not

in a rock and roll mood.

I think I'm gonna jump for that.

-Will you jump to the bar?

-I think so.

-[Luke] Okay, be careful. Big jump.

-Big jump, big jump.

[Rutledge] Chris,

skipping the tennis ball,

and is going right for a five-foot leap.

[Tanner] Ooh. Wow!

[Rutledge] That wetsuit never got lowered,

making the route harder for Chris,

but singer Chris

is sporting powerful deltoids

alongside his diaphragm, apparently.

You don't got me, lava!

You don't got me, lava!

Chris, has learned nothing from the show.

You do not taunt the lava.

[intense music playing]

[Rutledge] Chris has a chance to flip

that switch and slow down the treadmill.

And he completely ignores it.

See, they're not paying attention

to the walls.

It's just typical dads,

just not listening to the directions here.

-I'm gonna go for this thing here.

-Watch out for your child.

Yeah. The child's

about to get smashed on this one.

-You got this!

-I got this.

[Rutledge] This is a five-foot jump

Tanner is facing,

roughly the distance

of two toddlers laid end to end.

[team cheering]

-Not a drip of lava.

-Crushed it. I mean, the baby.

Oh, yeah. The poor baby.

All right, I'm going for it.

[baby cooing]

[Rutledge] Oh! Luke makes it,

and with lava-covered shoes

to show for it.

But he's usually

drenched in baby slobber or worse.

Wow. That was close.

How did I wind up being the treadmill guy?

[Rutledge] The treadmill's

still going at high speed

because Chris didn't

flip the switch to help out Tanner.

How many dads

does it take to make a four-foot jump?

Three, apparently.

-All right. You got it, Tanner!

-[Tanner] Yep.

-[Luke] Yeah, yeah!

-[all cheering]

Easy peasy.

-All right. I'm up on this.

-[Tanner] All right. Let's go, Luke!

-All right, I'm on.

-[Tanner] Come on, now.

[Chris] Feel the burn. Feel the burn.

[Tanner] I'm real sorry about it, baby,

but you're about to take a smash.

[Rutledge] Hmm. Unfortunately,

that Porsche does not have a baby seat.

[Luke] Oh, yeah! Hell yeah!

[all exclaiming]

-[Luke] Nice.

-Face first.

He's gonna try to open up that lockbox

to get the garage door open.

[Tanner] Uh, is it… is it 8-29?

[clock ticking]

[Rutledge] Dad in a sports car

with a newborn

looks like a midlife crisis to me.

Take this, Rutledge!

I don't need the encouragement.

Is it 3-5-6?

I don't see any numbers.

[Luke] Well, there's a 3-5-6

on the back of this Porsche.

-Hey, oh!

-[Rutledge] And he does it!

-[car alarm blaring]

-[Stand Up Squad groaning]

-Oh, yeah.

-Let's go!

[Rutledge] Now

that the garage door is open,

Bad Daditude has a way out,

but they only need two of them

through the door to guarantee

they'll advance to the volcano.

[Tanner] Luke, man up and jump.

I'm gonna jump.

You can make that jump.

-Got it.

-[team cheering]

[Rutledge] And he snags

the first exit pass.

-Hey!

-Yeah!

They're moving really fast,

but I feel

like they're gonna slow down very soon.

-[Tommy] Yeah.

-[Tanner] I can go bike to tires to there.

-[Chris] Get to the bike.

-[Tanner] Okay.

[Chris] I'll get on the car.

Wow. That's a huge jump.

[Rutledge] Seven feet to be exact, Tommy.

[team cheering]

-Yes, yes!

-[Willie] That's crazy.

What, it's grasshopper legs over here?

With a baby?

[Tanner] Yes.

[Rutledge] With dance moves like that,

if you didn't know

he was a middle-aged dad before,

that'll seal the deal.

How are guys feeling about your chances?

-We're very nervous right now.

-We're super nervous.

[Tanner] Two…

-You got it!

-[Rutledge] Look at that jump.

-Yes!

-Yes! Nice!

[Chris] Wheel him in very quickly.

Come on, dude. You're not even

in the top 10% of the Peloton score.

[Tanner] You're just being mean now.

-That's as far as it'll go?

-[Tanner] Yeah.

[Rutledge] In keeping with their strategy

of making their lives more difficult,

Tanner pulls Luke in by hand.

[Luke laughs] All right.

[all cheering]

We got the exit pass.

[Chris vocalizing]

[Rutledge] Oh, that's right, Chris.

Let us hear

that angelic singing voice of yours.

-Oh my goodness.

-Are these real dads?

[Luke] Uh, this is slick.

[Rutledge] Chris needs to make

that six-foot jump to the wagon soon.

Each turn of that spinning wheel

is not good for your equilibrium.

[Chris] Where do I jump from?

Where to push off from?

Okay. We gotta move

if we're gonna do this, 'cause I--

I can't get all the way over there.

[all] Oh!

-No!

-No!

Oh!

I wasn't the only one.

[sad opera playing]

[Rutledge] Oh, that was not pretty.

Chris even took the hard way out.

Oh no!

[Rutledge] I hate to say it,

but his teammates don't have

the same beautiful

singing voice Chris does.

Good night, sweet Chris.

And flights of angels

sing thee to thy rest in the lava.

Oh, you guys are still alive right now.

Chris is out of the picture,

so now both Luke and Tanner

need to exit the room

to guarantee them a trip to the volcano.

All right, all right.

[Rutledge] Ooh. Tanner with the big jump

and the third exit pass.

But I got an exit pass!

-Okay.

-[Luke] Nice!

-Two alive, fellas.

-Two alive.

Come on, come on.

[Rutledge] Luke, you are a father!

[intense music playing]

[Stand Up Squad] Oh!

[Luke] Look over there!

[Daditude] Oh! Oh my…

[Rutledge] Oh. Has he got it?

[all cheering] Oh!

[all] Oh!

-[Luke] Oh yeah! There he is!

-[Rutledge] Oh! Look at that!

Let's go.

[Rutledge] Tanner's moving

through the room at lightning speed.

Looks like that

gym membership's paying off.

He makes the six-foot leap

to the bike wheel!

-[Luke] Yes.

-Yeah.

[Rutledge] If Luke can make

this final jump to the exit,

they are tied with you guys,

Stand-Up Squad.

And…

-Oh! They got one through!

-Yeah!

There's only one. There's still one more.

-You got it.

-Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

-[Rutledge] Oh, this could be it.

-[Luke] Yes!

[Rutledge] Oh!

Hard landing, but Tanner nailed it.

Hold on a second.

I gotta breathe for a second.

[Rutledge] No time to breathe,

Tanner. You have a jump to make.

Is he gonna make it?

Oh, I can't watch!

All right, three…

[suspenseful music playing]

[Tanner] Two…

[Willie] No, no, no, no, no.

One.

[Stand Up Squad groaning]

[team cheering]

[bell ringing]

Guys, you made it! Congratulations!

You are going to the volcano!

-Yeah!

-Whoo!

-Oh! You made it, baby!

-Whoo. Bad Daditude!

Get on up here!

Bad Daditude lost Chris along the way,

but Luke and Tanner

both carpooled to the exit,

which means these three dads

will be moving on to the volcano.

[team cheering] Yeah!

[Rutledge] Yes! That is right!

Sorry.

We were all just kind of wondering…

how is your face?

You know, um, I'd… I'm always

down to sacrifice for my friends,

and I did that on purpose because I wanted

to knock down the barriers…

-[Rutledge] Yeah.

-…to allow them to succeed.

Because that's what friends do.

Now here's the thing.

You guys are headed to the volcano.

It could be against these guys,

they only got one team member

through the rooms,

or it could be the next team.

Oh goodness. Our final team

is giving me a serious sense of déjà vu,

and déjà vu, and déjà vu.

It's the return of the Virzi Triplets.

Come with me if you want to live!

-[Sean] Oh, my God!

-[Alex] No!

[Alex] No!

We suck so bad.

-I'm Alex.

-I'm Sean.

I'm Mitchell.

We're here to redeem ourselves.

What we've learned is what we've been told

by girls our whole life,

that we are short.

Too short.

Very short,

but we are going to overcome that today.

We have been stretching,

we've been getting limber.

You know what'd

be great this time around?

if Sean doesn't look like a stranded cat

stuck in a tree on that pyramid.

If I'm a cat, I'm limber,

I have the potential--

But you didn't show it.

[Rutledge] Sean,

still trapped on the pyramid.

[Alex] Use your muscles

that you work so hard for!

-[Mitchell] He stopped working out.

-[Alex] Why did you stop working out?

I was sad, I…

We're not playing around this time.

Last time we talked a lot, we were goofy.

You know, we came in very c*ck

and, look, we're still c*ck.

I still think think we're the best players

from that episode of Floor Is Lava.

and I will take them on

any day of the week.

-We're gonna win this bad boy!

-We're gonna do it!

We're gonna show our faces

at Christmas this year!

-Yes!

-[Mitchell] Let's go!

[all] Yeah!

Watch out, lava's hot.

[Alex] We're back, baby!

Yeah. This looks harder

than the first season.

-It does look a little harder.

-Not gonna lie.

-[booing]

-[Rutledge laughing]

Virzi Triplets? We run into each other

on the comedy scene all the time.

-Dude, where they at?

-How you doin'?

Y'all did not grow in a year

and your arms

are still not going to be able

to reach some of those monkey bars.

All I know

is that they're going in the lava.

What's up, guys?

[Triplets] Hi, Rutledge!

There's more on the line than just a shot

at facing Bad Daditude on the volcano.

That's right. They made it.

You're also here

to clear your family name.

In order to do that,

at least one of you will need to go

where no Virzi has ever gone before…

out of a room!

[teams laughing]

Lastly, if you guys

know this better than anyone,

don't fall in, because the floor is…

[all] Lava!

I'mma go this way.

[Rutledge] Stand-Up crew,

your fate lies in your bitter rivals.

-It's the worst feeling.

-Mm. They're not gonna make it.

I haven't surfed in a while.

[Rutledge] Alex, taking the first big leap

and crashing into that cymbal.

Oh man, I missed those shirts.

I feel like I can make that.

I wouldn't-- No, go this way.

And then climb on the wall.

[Rutledge] Mitchell takes on

the role of alpha triplet,

directing Alex to the tool wall.

[all] Oh!

[Tanner] It took us

five minutes to get here.

Going that fast,

the overconfidence, I don't know.

You saw season one,

overconfidence is their middle name.

Oh, dude, there's a sign!

I wish I could read.

[Sean] "Let's see you rock out"?

Oh, yeah. "Rock out," maybe hit the--

See? Unlike Bad Daditude,

they're paying attention,

they read the sign,

decided to rock out, lowered the wetsuit…

The thing about Bad Daditude,

we never read the instructions.

[Rutledge] That middle wet suit

making the climb a lot easier for Sean.

-[cymbal crashing]

-[Alex] Rim shot!

There's a switch

over here that says "slow."

[Rutledge] Sean flipping the switch,

slowing down the treadmill.

-Should I go on the treadmill?

-I mean, yeah. I slowed it down.

Mitch, the exit pass is over here.

What's the point

of slowing down the treadmill?

It's gonna be a lot easier

to go to that from there.

So I go on here?

Yeah. Use the wall as support.

-[all exclaiming]

-[cheering]

-[Alex] Nice job.

-How did he land that?

-It's super gooey.

-A lot of people say I'm a tool.

[Rutledge] Mitchell, if you were a tool,

you'd be a power sander,

loud and abrasive.

[Sean] Hey, guys, it's like I'm in Venice.

[Rutledge] I think

it's a little more like Pompeii, Sean.

I'm jumping on this tire.

Go ahead.

[all exclaiming]

[Tanner] It's good.

Oh! Barely makes it.

I made it.

Hi, Mom!

[Rutledge] Mitchell preparing

for the six-foot jump

from the tool chest to the raft.

[all exclaiming]

[Rutledge] That puts Mitchell

in position to get to the sports car

and use the combination lock

to open the garage door

so they can leave the room.

I think I can get in the car.

Fellas, can you imagine if these three

are the ones that send you home?

I would be livid.

I would go back and jump in the lava.

Does anybody see any numbers?

It looks like a lockbox is here.

[yelling] No! My hair!

[Rutledge] Uh, Sean, I think you

should worry less about your hair

and focus more

on getting off that paddle board.

You're hooked on the back,

it's not gonna go forward.

You're not gonna row any-- There you…

-That wasn't that hard.

-[Sean] Yeah. It was.

Now you're stuck on a refrigerator

instead of a pyramid.

[Mitchell] You might have to go there.

Uh, hey. I'm jumping.

-[grunting]

-[Danny] Oh my gosh. Wow.

Exit pass!

Let's go, baby!

[Rutledge] Remember,

Willie got out of the room,

so the Virzi's need

to get two triplets out of the door

in order to advance to the volcano.

-Ugh.

-[Alex] You got it!

[Rutledge] Mitchell, looking to move

to the sports car, a short four feet,

but that floating raft

is a very unstable launch pad.

[Alex] Oh! Oh!

[all exclaiming]

-Yes!

-We got a chance.

No!

[Rutledge] And just like last time,

Mitchell is first to go into the lava.

No!

[classical music playing]

No!

[Rutledge] Oh,

you can't go wrong with the classics.

No!

And just like that,

the Virzi Triplets become the Virzi Twins.

Fellas, you are still alive right now.

-What are you doing?

-I need to get over there.

I have my exit pass,

I can leave if I want to!

[Rutledge] You can't leave if you want to,

because there's not a way out yet.

-I'm gonna jump here.

-Then do it.

Y'all better hope these guys fall,

because y'all are on the bubble.

One more, one more. Who's going next?

[Rutledge] It's a five-foot leap,

but if you're his size,

it can feel like 20.

[all exclaiming]

[Rutledge] Oh!

Good thing he slowed that thing down.

-What a choice.

-Look at that jump.

-All right. You gotta make that jump.

-Why do I have to do everything this time?

It doesn't matter.

It's fine, just pay attention!

-I might just run.

-[Alex] Yeah!

[Rutledge] It looks like Sean's gonna try

a running start from the treadmill.

Not sure that's a great idea.

[car alarm blaring]

[Rutledge] Apparently not

the worst idea in this case.

[Alex] Open the thing.

I don't know.

Oh, oh! The license plate! Three-five-six!

[Sean] Oh, I got it! Yeah!

[Rutledge] Oh, they got it.

And the door is open.

Of course it's the hard one.

There it is!

Oh, fellas, if both of them make it out,

then you guys are going home.

[Sean] It's pretty slippery.

Yep, that's kind of the game.

[Rutledge] Oh, they figured out the game

one season too late.

[all exclaiming]

[all chattering indistinctly]

[scattered clapping]

[Danny] Come on!

[all exclaiming]

Oh my gosh!

No!

[bell dinging]

[Rutledge] And that punching bag

puts a KO on Alex.

I haven't seen a red, white and bruised

boxing beat down like that

since Apollo Creed,

but to paraphrase

an expert on the subject,

"If he dives, he dives."

It's all up to me. Okay.

[Rutledge] Willie, it took you just over

nine minutes to get out of the room.

They're under seven minutes right now.

You realize

if Sean gets out of this room right now,

they are way ahead of your time.

Y'all are going home.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Sean grunting]

[Rutledge] The redemption

for the Virzi Triplets

all comes down to Sean.

Can he make the

slippery jump to the wheel,

grab his exit pass,

and make it out the garage door?

-[Danny] Oh no!

-[Sean] Yes!

Yes!

-[Willie] Oh my…

-[Tommy] Ooh.

Into the wagon, like we were as kids.

Into the garage.

[all chattering indistinctly]

[Danny] Come on, come on. Okay.

[Rutledge] Oh, this is a big one.

This is a big one.

[all exclaiming]

-[Danny] What kind of ups does he have?

-[Rutledge] Oh my gosh!

I've never seen someone lucky.

Fellas, one jump,

it all comes down to this.

Can Sean be the first Virzi

to make it out of a room,

and send the triplets to the volcano,

and send the Stand-Up Squad home?

[suspenseful music playing]

-[Sean grunting]

-[all cheering]

[Rutledge] Oh my gosh!

No way!

Unbelievable!

[all cheering]

[Rutledge] Sean took

a big running start to nowhere!

[Sean grunting]

-[all cheering]

-Unbelievable!

Stand-Up Squad,

you guys are going to the volcano

to face off against Bad Daditude!

I don't feel good.

[Alex] Honestly, it's a familiar feeling.

[laughing]

I really don't see anybody

inviting us to the holidays at this point.

The kids table that we sat at

is now lowered into lava.

-So we just disappear now.

-Yes.

[Mitchell] Yeah.

[Rutledge] It's the suburbs

versus the stage.

Bad Daditude and Stand-Up Squad

have each chosen two teammates

to face off against each other

and against the volcano.

[all exclaiming in wonder]

[Tommy] Oh my God!

This looks so dangerous right there.

We gotta--

[Rutledge] All right,

Stand-Up Squad, Bad Daditude,

you survived the garage,

but can you survive the volcano?

[angelic voices singing]

[in child's voice]

That's Daddy's volcano-ano.

[Rutledge] Both teams will have

to make their way across the rooftop

to the base of the volcano.

Once you climb to the top,

each member of your team

must cap the volcano with their rock.

The team that

caps their volcano the fastest

wins $10,000!

[all cheering]

And the best part, the Floor Is Lava lamp!

-[Willie] Yeah!

-[all cheering]

[angelic voices singing]

There's really only

one thing you should remember.

Don't fall in.

Ah, that's right.

-Because the floor is…

-[all] Lava!

Go for it! Get it!

You got this.

Willie, the opening act

for the Stand-Up Squad,

swinging on the weathervane

over to the rooftop.

-[Tanner] Come on, there you go.

-Push around.

[Rutledge] Tommy swings over

to join Willie, but classic Bad Daditude,

making things harder for themselves,

monkey-barring across the weather vane.

Ooh, Stand-Up Squad

in the lead! Here we go.

-All right, you just gotta…

-That's what I'm talking about!

-Coming right behind you.

-Make your steps.

-Steps.

-Here we go.

[Rutledge] Oh my goodness,

it is neck and neck. Bad Daditude, yes.

Oh, Willie. Yeah.

Tanner popped over to the volcano base

and Bad Daditude is in the lead.

-[Willie] Right here.

-Three, two, one.

[Rutledge] Tommy lands it.

Both teams now at the base.

Here we go, I gotta get a closer look.

All right. Now we're talking. Here we go.

[chattering indistinctly]

-[Willie] Oh, hold on!

-[Tommy] Here we go!

[Rutledge] Bad Daditude can't find a grip,

like trying to put a diaper

on a squirmy baby.

There's that foothold.

[Rutledge] Best way to get up

that volcano is to work together.

My short legs!

-[Rutledge] They're working together.

-[Tommy] Oh boy. All right.

[Tanner] Very nice. Okay. You got it.

[Rutledge] Stand-Up Squad making good

progress, trying to get to that ledge.

-[Willie] Go! You got it! Go slow!

-[Tommy] I've already…

[Rutledge] Bad Daditude, Stand-Up Squad,

passing the lead back and forth,

but dad Chris gets the rope first!

There you go! Get the rope!

-Tommy!

-[Tommy] I'm coming, Willie.

[Rutledge] Passing the rope

down to Willie.

-[Willie] Push.

-[Rutledge] And both ropes are down.

-The rope is no help at all.

-[Rutledge] Oh, this is so close.

-[Willie] Oh, my goodness.

-[Tommy] Come on, Willie.

-[Willie] Tommy!

-[Tommy] You stay with me, Willie.

[Rutledge] Stand-Up Squad's

the first to score,

but Bad Daditude Chris is right there.

I did the first one,

we gotta go buddy! Willie!

[Rutledge] Chris has got his in,

neck and neck!

-Oh my gosh. Who's it gonna be?

-[Tommy] Come one, Willie!

[Rutledge] The next team

to place a rock will be the winner!

Oh, look at that jump!

This is so crazy. What's gonna happen now?

Chris, helping Tanner up.

This is where it all

comes down to, right here.

[Tommy] Go, Willie!

[Rutledge] Tanner's got the rock.

Oh, and he almost loses it!

[Chris] Go, go, go, go!

[yelling]

-[Rutledge] Bad Daditude wins it!

-[all exclaiming]

[Rutledge] Unbelievable!

It was neck and neck,

but at the very end

Bad Daditude squeaked it out

and Stand-Up Squad,

like they say on stage,

that's your time.

[distorted voice] No!

[triumphant music playing]

[distorted voice] No!

-[Chris] Whoo!

-[Tanner] Yeah! Yeah!

[Rutledge] Unbelievable.

Bad Daditude,

you showed that volcano who's its daddy!

-Uh-huh!

-Ah.

And you know what?

You guys just won $10,000!

-Yeah! Did you hear that?

-That's a lot of diapers!

And that's not all. Guess what else?

The Floor Is Lava lamp.

[both cheering]

Congratulations!

-Yeah!

-Whoo!

Did you see that coming? I didn't.

But you know what is coming up next?

Another Floor Is Lava!

Congratulations!

[upbeat song playing]

[song fades]