01x03 - Star Host

[bunniefuu]

Hi, son. We've just reached Jari.

We won't have any network range now.

So no funny business in the house, okay?

And if you still want to do it,

fix it before we are back.

Love you, son!

Uncle and Aunty

went to the Himalayas last year, too, no?

And year before that.

And before that, too?

Yes, you also go

to Vaishno Devi every year.

That's religious, not adventurous.

What adventure? Last year,

they went up from the western side.

Before that, from the east,

and before that, from the south.

It's all the same.

Fresh oxygen, ice, mountains, Maggi.

Maggi.

You must have Maggi, too.

With unlimited COD.

Limited alcohol.

And lots and lots of hot girls.

I've messaged them,

just waiting for their replies.

In short, it's going to be a blast!

It'll be a blast.

But for my first guests, not you and me.

Dude!

Don't tell me you

put the whole house on Stay BnB.

Except my room and the bathroom.

And my first guests,

a couple from Mumbai,

will arrive tomorrow.

You can't do this to me, man.

Listen, I am doing this to me.

Actually, for me.

I want to see the Northern Lights.

And I just need

a small amount for my trip fund.

Funds?

What about our mutual fun?

I invested in our friendship

and that's what I get in return?

What's the use of this posh house,

if you just want to be

serving desperate couples?

Dude, this belongs to my parents.

And they want me to be independent.

Look, the Northern Lights trip

will happen as destined.

Think about what's happening now!

Right now, you owe me 650 bucks,

as you're drinking my guests' beer.

Come on, pay up!

Pay you 650 bucks?

What sort of a friend are you?

Okay, do one thing.

Help me out in exchange for this beer.

Today's video is all about tips and tricks

on how to make you become a star host.

First off,

your place needs to be squeaky clean.

If you haven't dusted, you're busted.

In order to be a star host,

you have to have green grass.

So make sure

you water it every single day.

Good linen equals good reviews.

After a long day of #Wanderlust,

your travelers want to be

able to sleep like a baby.

Your guests have travelled

a lot of miles to stay with you,

so make sure

you go the extra mile for them.

Hey!

Taking photos in the middle of the road?

Are you nuts?

Hello! You were speeding, what about that?

And around such a sharp corner.

So? Are you the police?

Bloody tourists,

they just throw plastic around.

Listen, mind your language. Okay?

I've lost my way and the bloody

cab driver randomly dropped me here.

I'm standing here

and the map is leading me in circles.

And you were about to commit hit-and-run.

The actual victims are my strawberries.

They were a present for someone.

Okay, fine. Let me help you.

If something happened to you,

I'd be screwed.

No, please don't touch anything. Please.

Listen. Where is this Bandarwadi?

This is Bandarwadi.

Can't you see all these monkeys?

Yes, I can see.

Welcome to Le Château Tranquille.

Sunset Point, also called Lover's Point…

Get ready for a great romantic gateway.

You? You followed me here?

Listen, I know you were not hurt.

So don't ask for compen--

One second. This is Le Château Tranquil?

It's "Tranquille." It's French.

-Who gave you this address?

-Its owner.

You go and call your boss.

I have a booking.

-Mr. Aditya?

-You're Akshay?

Akshay's lady friend?

You are Aditya?

Welcome to Mahabaleshwar.

Welcome to Le Château Tranquille.

A place for you to kickback,

unwind and heal.

Yes, I've already seen

how welcoming you are.

Listen! I'm sorry about before.

I was driving very fast.

I hope you are not hurt.

Of course

it won't affect your lovely stay here.

These flowers are for you.

Keep them away from me, man.

Can't you see I am allergic?

Okay, leave the flowers.

Let's go inside and talk.

Welcome drink is ready, too.

You, me and Akshay…

-Where's you boyfriend?

-Ex-boyfriend.

He's not planning to come

and I'm planning to leave.

Listen. It's pretty late.

It's a long weekend

and everything will be booked.

Can we let bygones be bygones?

Bye. I'm gone.

Come on.

Hey!

Relax, it's me.

Listen, this is Bandarwadi.

The monkeys will take your luggage.

Believe me.

Come.

Okay, I am leaving first thing tomorrow.

Yes. Okay, come.

Please come. Please.

Sorry.

-So, has Akshay confirmed--

-Listen.

I don't want to

keep hearing his name.

I'm not here for a honeymoon.

So, please, don't treat me like

a cheesy guest on some romantic getaway.

-Right, of course. Sorry.

-Thank you.

Please, come. Welcome to your room.

-If I may say so, it's cozy--

-Is there "Skip Intro" option?

Yes, of course.

But as your host, please allow me

to show you a range of activities

for an unforgettable

experience in Mahabaleshwar.

Like water activities at Tapola Lake.

-I have aquaphobia.

-That's okay, we can hike to Lovers'…

Sunset Point.

Listen, I am more of a beach person.

I hate heights.

Then why are you here?

To chill in the room.

You do you. Be comfortable.

Please, I am gonna…

Alone? Something is definitely fishy.

I've read that criminals

often love to pose as tourists.

Don't talk rubbish, okay?

I called to update you,

not to get Crime Patrol stats.

You are a classic victim.

An ideal case for an episode.

-What sort of a friend are you?

-I'm not bluffing. Check yourself.

I didn't think you had it in you, kiddo.

#solotrip, huh?

Hey, listen. Cool down

and come back. Okay?

By the way, have you packed the bug spray?

I've heard bugs are an issue there.

Anyway, let me know

when I should send the car to pick you up.

All right? See you soon.

Hey, enjoying the room?

I wanted to tell you

that this house is CCTV monitored, so…

I mean, this area is safe.

It's a safe space.

Do you have bug spray?

Lots of insects here, right?

First you called me a monkey,

then a servant,

and now an insect. I told you--

Sorry.

She's a kid, bro.

We had a small fight, so she took off.

She's a little moody.

Yes, a little.

Listen, what about the final instalment?

Brother, I'll pay you whatever it is.

You know, I'll pay you extra.

Just tolerate my girlfriend

for a little while, please.

All right? Come on, son,

I'll also give you a five-star rating.

It's a win-win for both of us. Happy?

Okay, sir, my pleasure.

I'm hungry.

There's a list of restaurants in the room.

Tell them you're my guest.

I don't want to go out alone.

I'll call a cab.

Or you can cook something.

Vegetables are complimentary.

Just kitchen charges will be extra.

I don't know how to cook.

My cook has made some cabbage.

If that won't do, then Maggi?

Just Maggi?

I can cook seven different types of Maggi.

Cheese Maggi, Masala Maggi, Maggi Misal,

and if you want Maggi

for dessert, then Nutella…

I know a very good place.

Which is a perfect blend of--

Yes, I'm not buying that place. Let's go.

Excuse me. Who are you?

I don't know you.

Shernaz darling, don't say that.

You walk into my place once in a year,

and then you expect me to be nice to you?

Hello. Who's that chick?

Taking advantage of your parents' absence?

Darling, it's about money.

I've put the whole house on Stay BnB.

She's just my guest.

Only you have my affections.

Funny boy.

Why do you need so much money suddenly?

Want an iPhone?

No! Northern Lights! Remember?

Yes, your dream trip.

What do you want?

She wants to eat your amazing food,

I want just 10% commission.

Don't be stupid.

Are you some small-time tour guide?

Seven percent and free ice cream.

That's it, go on.

Hi! I'm Shernaz.

Not Shah Nawaz, Freddy. She's long gone.

-Welcome to my diner.

-Thank you.

Have you seen the menu?

What will you have?

Poor girl, she looks so hungry

and you're making her

read the whole menu?

She looks like

she could eat a seven- course meal.

Leave it to me. Vegetarian?

Yes.

Very nice, Shernaz. Very filling.

Yeah, I can see that.

Especially the eggplant that you loved.

Wait. Which one is the eggplant?

-Why? Are you allergic to eggplant also?

-No.

I've never eaten eggplant.

Generally, I am not a fan.

If I called it aubergine,

you'd rate it five stars, right?

Life is too short to pass judgement

on something like eggplant,

that you've never tried. Isn't it?

You don't look like

you ran away from home.

Boyfriend?

How did you know?

I'm not just good at feeding people,

I am also good at reading people.

Wow, Shernaz! Read my face also.

Boiled egg, you are an open book.

There's nothing to read.

Right now, I'm talking to her.

So, don't disturb.

Come on, spill it.

My ex cheated on me with his ex.

Pig!

Yeah!

He keeps saying that I'm too young

to understand the complexities of love

and he keeps saying that

I'm some stupid, spoiled, protected child

and that I'm not ready to leave the nest,

so I came here to prove him wrong.

Maybe he's right.

Not exactly cut out for adventures.

So… I'm leaving tomorrow.

Ms. Patience!

You have already left the nest.

You're telling

your life story to two strangers.

You don't know yourself yet,

how is he going to know you?

Don't prove him right.

Do something you've never tried before.

Unexpected things can be very surprising.

Like this eggplant that you loved.

Yeah, I did.

But I ate that by accident, too.

Exactly, Tara!

We almost had an accident, too.

-See…

-Look, he's talking again.

You've not even asked your guest

if she would like some wine.

-Yeah. Would you like--

-Too late!

Thank you, Anand.

#solotrip #yummy #eggplant

#saliboti #soulfoodforthought

-Good night.

-Good night.

-Listen.

-Yes?

What time can we call a cab tomorrow?

For sightseeing?

No, to go back to Mumbai.

Well, the checkout time is 10:00 a.m.

But should I call it earlier for you?

To avoid traffic.

That'll be great. Thank you.

Listen, I asked you about the insects.

There are quite a few--

There are no insects here,

the lizards ate them all.

Hey, hello?

Please don't joke around.

I have entomophobia.

-Entomo…

-Fear of insects.

Oh, I see. Insects.

Like c*ck?

Shernaz was right.

You are obsessed.

It's not obsession, it's affirmation.

You have to keep reminding the universe

and yourself of what you want to achieve.

Yes, but don't you think,

if you keep seeing this everywhere,

then actually seeing it won't be exciting?

It's my excitement.

I'll manage. Good night.

Fine. Nice boxers.

-Ravi Kaka, will you drive to Mumbai?

-Yes?

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

-I used the milk for coffee. I'll pay you.

-No, it's okay.

-I've called the cab, so…

-Cancel it.

I think I'm gonna take Shernaz's advice.

-Ravi Kaka?

-Yes?

Cancel the trip. Okay.

Will you show me…

Mahabaleshwar?

Yes, of course.

Please stick to Hindi and English. Maybe?

And the adventure begins.

You're kidding, right?

Listen, I've come here

for sightseeing, okay?

Not to participate in Fear Factor.

Tara, why do drab

tourist stuff like everyone else?

Now that you've taken Shernaz's advice,

don't overthink it.

Do the unexpected!

Let go of your inhibitions

Let go of your inhibitions

Savor the raw life

Always follow your heart

Let go of your inhibitions

Let go of your inhibitions

Enjoy the freedom

Nothing to be ashamed of

If you look back,

the kayak will lose balance.

Look ahead, Tara. Just go for it.

Let go of your inhibitions

Let go of your inhibitions

Let go of your inhibitions

Let go of your inhibitions

Very funny!

So, your aquaphobia is gone now?

Phobias don't just go away in a day.

But, actually, in the lake…

I just felt so… Tranquille?

Such fabulous colors!

Yeah, they are nice.

You must find all skies lacking

in comparison to your Northern Skies.

No, it's not like that.

You keep telling the universe

what you want to see,

but you're not seeing

what the universe is showing you.

Okay. What is it showing me?

Where are you?

It's been so long, no stories, no posts.

Yeah, I'm okay. Having fun. Why?

I just wanted to make sure

that the host is treating you well.

I'm paying him a shitload of money and…

Tara, I'm spending

this much money not just for you,

but for us.

It's for us. Okay, listen…

Everywhere we've been today,

how much did it cost?

What?

-Don't worry about it, it's all--

-Taken care of?

Behind my back.

Aditya, this was my solo trip, right?

And I thought you agreed

because you wanted to,

and not because Akshay was

tempting you with extra cash.

Wow, look who's talking.

Tara, you came here just because

you wanted to make your ex jealous, right?

A boyfriend who treats you

not like a girlfriend, but a two-year-old.

Yes, okay.

I did it to make Akshay jealous

in the beginning, but then I thought…

You know what, it doesn't matter,

because now I know

that you wanted me to be adventurous

so you could get money

for your own adventure.

Tara, I didn't hide anything from you.

I did it for money in the beginning,

but then I did it for you.

That guy doesn't respect you

and you don't respect yourself either.

You are stuck with a toxic as*h*le

and you don't even know it.

Tara, you're extraordinary.

You came all the way from Bombay.

You're doing these things for yourself,

doing these unexpected things,

surprising yourself,

and I'm really proud of you for that.

Because you deserve that,

and so much more.

I'm happy that bloody moron didn't come,

because I got to spend this time with you.

I'll feel like sh*t tomorrow

because I know we can't be together,

because you're there and I'm here.

I'm so upset that I met you

not as a friend, but as a bloody host--

I'm really sorry. I had…

I saw in a tutorial

that there must be a respectable distance

between the host and the guest.

I shouldn't have done that.

Please don't give me a bad rating.

Please, that's all…

What is that?

Tara, I…

Listen, I'm sorry

I kinda ruined the moment earlier…

Talking about the ratings and all.

So…

Should we kiss now?

We don't have to.

Understood? Go straight and then

take the right. Don't take the old road.

-Hi!

-Hello!

-Tara, right? Shivin.

-Yeah.

Hope you had a great stay

at Chateau Tranquil.

Yes, I did. It's actually Tranquille.

It's French.

Actually, it's Anupama Kutir.

Listen, do I owe you anything?

You don't owe anybody anything, Tara.

Take it. How'll you go

to the Northern Lights otherwise?

I will one day. What's the rush?

And a friend told me that if the universe

is showing you something, see it.

So, let's see.

-Bye.

-Bye.

Allow me.

Listen, the left road is closed.

So go straight and then right.

Dude, I told you the same thing

and you didn't understand.

She said it and you understood.

-She is hotter than you, right?

-It's Anupama Kutir.

Le Château Tranquille.

A trip to this castle in the clouds

will bring you closer to yourself.

I am leaving

as a different person. Braver.

I was welcomed into this

not-so-humble abode by not just a host,

but a guide, a friend, a star host.