01x09 - Secrets We Keep

[bunniefuu]

(breathing heavily)

Daniel:

When we lose our way

And our problems seem to

overwhelm our lives,

We are forgetting

the greatness of god.

We're losing a beautiful

balance in our lives.

We're in this little boat,

and the seas are enormous,

And they're

tossing us to and fro,

But our ballast,

it's heavy and it's deep.

The great and

deepest value in our lives

Is that we lead them

so that our hearts

Lift up the name of god

above all things.

But there is more

deliverance, more healing,

And more joy to be found

in the hallowing of god's name

Than you ever dreamed possible.

(breathing heavily)

(heavy breathing)

(patient speaking quietly)

Jo: That was wonderful.

Oh, I'm so glad.

I look like her, don't I?

You do.

Were you two friends?

I'm sorry, I really have

to run to my next session.

Can I just ask you

a few questions?

Eve: Sorry.

Why did beth leave genesis?

What?

She was friends

with christina, right?

They were close?

Ask her.

Please?

Yes

Until they weren't.

What happened?

I'm sorry.

I really shouldn't be

talking about this.

Okay.

Thank you.

I'm glad to know

that she's safe.

Did christina tell you that?

Beth's dead.

She was deeply depressed,

She came here for real help,

and we let her down.

She was a patient here?

Many of us were.

It makes for a great story

When it ends well.

Daniel: Hey.

Can you hand me a trowel?

Took us a few years to

get the garden up to snuff,

But now we grow produce

may to October.

Ah!

Little buggers.

Poison pie, do not eat.

They infest

my garden like pests.

Sends you straight to the er.

You know,

this would go a lot faster

If you got down here

and pitched in a little.

Yeah, I'd rather talk.

Off.

Why'd you k*ll the chaffeys?

(daniel sighing)

Tanya worked

at my father's resort.

I spent a lot of time there,

As I was jobless and not

welcome at my parents' house.

She was kind to me.

She had a beautiful smile.

It started with

following her home,

Just to see what she was

like in her own habitat,

With her kids, her husband.

And then one night,

that was no longer enough.

If you were in love with her,

why would you m*rder her?

I wasn't in love with her.

What was it, then?

Desire, maybe. Jealousy.

I could never quite put my

finger on what it was

That led me to that place.

Did you plan it?

Yes, and no.

I told myself it

would be safe just to watch,

But I think, deep down

I always knew

it would end that way.

And then

One night, it Just kind of

felt out of my control.

And then?

You're ruining

a perfect afternoon.

Look, you've already

shown me the beautiful garden,

The cozy church community,

the happy drug addicts.

I get both sides of the story.

That's the deal.

- Please, don't ask me this.

- Don't you want a fair trial?

- Please.

- Say it.

What do you want to know?

Huh?

How I tied

matthew chaffey's hands

Behind his back

Before sticking

his r*fle in his mouth?

Tanya was

Hiding with the children

in their bedroom.

She was Screaming.

So, I gagged

her with her own hair

Before I

Before you slit her throat.

Then, I

I smothered

the boys With pillows.

They went Quickly, so I

I moved to the girl.

Farid: Emily.

I wanted it to be over, so I

I broke her neck,

then I put her in the armoire.

Farid: Why the satanic symbols?

My so-called family

have always

Been god-fearing.

Every Sunday, for--

For four years,

They put me under

the care of father andrews.

He molested me, farid.

I discovered satanism in a book,

And I found a place to

absorb all that

All that anger.

After the chaffeys,

After I realized the extent

Of what I'd done, I-I fled.

I took my parents'

hush money and I disappeared

Into remote corners

of the world,

Turning to whatever

substance would help me forget.

I met a priest

And he

(breathing shakily)

He showed me that

religion

Could heal

That it could have grace,

That I could start anew.

(car door closing)

Hello?

Who's this?

Daniel: Claudia.

This is, uh, farid,

a new friend.

You staying for dinner then?

Fair trial.

♪

Hello?

It's jo.

Hello?

Voice: No! No!

(screaming)

- Neil: What are you doing?

- (gasping)

(jo breathing heavily)

I heard screaming.

Christina's in a session.

Claudia:

What brings you to the island?

I'm here with my partner jo,

on a much-needed vacation.

Dinner!

Now!

(chuckling)

Claudia: How long you

and jo been together?

Thirteen years.

Wow.

Takes a strong love

to make it to 13 years.

Yeah, it does.

Year 13

The year I almost

drown him in the lake.

- (chuckling)

- oh.

Now, we're at 18 and

I'm still thinking about it.

(chuckling)

I mean it, now!

Hiding from mom!

Hide from mom! Hide from mom!

Lasagne.

He seems like

an incredible father.

That's why I keep him around.

Then why drown him?

Sorry?

Well, you said you wanted

to drown him in the lake.

- How come?

- Oh

(chuckling)

Do you trust him?

Daniel: In we go.

Hungry monkeys.

(daniel sighing contentedly)

Let's do this, huh?

It smells great.

All right.

(sighing)

Dear lord, bless this food,

Bless this drink,

Since you have

redeemed us so dearly

And delivered us from evil.

And as you have given us

a share in this food,

So may you give us

a share in eternal life.

Amen.

Family: Amen.

Christina: Hey.

Can I join you?

Yeah.

Neil said I gave you

a bit of a scare.

I'm sorry. I

I thought you

were being m*rder*d.

By who? Neil?

I'm sure he's thought about it,

But no, he doesn't

have the ba*ls.

What were you doing?

Uh, reliving the moment my ex

got eaten alive by a grizzly.

Jo: Oh my god, why?

It's part of my trauma therapy.

How are you feeling?

The memories are coming back.

What memories?

All the stuff

from my mom's house.

Everything

Is bubbling back up.

I'm scared.

Don't be. No.

You know, carl jung

Believed that

hallucinating was just

Dreaming while awake;

A way for the

unconscious to be heard.

Maybe there's something big

yours is trying to tell you.

And how can you hear it if

you're silencing the voices?

You want to try a session?

- A trauma session?

- Yeah,

With a bit of ketamine.

No, don't worry.

It's a very low dose,

perfectly safe.

Uh I don't know.

Trust me.

Please?

You are stuck in

a looping effect, jo,

Tied to an experience

that isn't your own--

Your mother's illness.

You'll disconnect from this

identity of a schizophrenic,

So you can witness

the trauma from the outside.

♪

You can communicate

with your hallucinations,

Knowing you are

not in any real danger.

♪

♪

No, don't!

(screaming)

(gasping)

(breathing heavily)

(gasping)

get me out!

Get me out!

Get me out!

Hey, wait.

That was really f*cked up.

Hey. Talk to me.

That wasn't what

you said would happen.

What happened?

Jo, what happened?

Daniel: Dinner with

the devil wasn't so bad, eh?

You have a beautiful family.

I know.

I am truly blessed,

But that's-- that's

all down to claudia.

(phone vibrating)

You want to take that?

Farid: It's all good.

Was it jo?

Uh, it wasn't.

You want to know

the secret to a long marriage?

Uh, compromise?

Don't get divorced.

You love her?

What?

Do you love her?

Yeah, of course I do.

Yeah.

Would you do anything

not to harm her?

To lose her?

- Why are you asking me this?

- (phone vibrating)

How long has it been going on?

- (phone vibrating)

- your affair.

(phone vibrating)

Is that what the firm told you?

When they spied on us?

I see it in the way

you talk about her.

You have shame.

Jo ended things.

I thought we were done.

And then, you weren't.

(sighing)

Things with brie

just got so intense,

And then jo

came back into my life,

And I didn't know what to do.

It was really hard for me

to just break it off.

But you did.

A month ago,

and jo still has no idea.

Don't tell her.

I have to.

Why? So, you can

clear your conscience?

That just puts

the onus on jo to forgive.

It'll simply cause her pain,

When it's you

who needs to do the work.

What do you

think you can just

Ask for forgiveness and all

your sins vanish into the wind?

You need to live every day

with what you've done

And you need to make amends

Through your

continued love for jo.

Spare her the pain.

Seek your salvation in the lord.

- (phone vibrating)

- excuse me?

You said yourself

It was over.

It's time to put

an end to it for good.

(phone vibrating)

No.

Take the call, farid.

(phone vibrating)

Take the f*cking call!

(phone vibrating)

(chuckling nervously)

I'm so sorry. That was--

That was completely

uncalled for.

Farid

♪

(leather striking)

(thwipping)

(low sawing noises)

(exhaling sharply)

Farid: What are you doing?

Where are the keys?

Where are you going?

It's 4 a.M.

Jo: You have them.

- Give me the keys.

- Farid: What for?

Do you sleep with them?

Jesus, jo, no.

They're in my pants.

Where are you going?

Jo.

- Get out of my way, please.

- No.

Are you f*cking serious?

What's wrong with you?

Where the hell do you have to

be in the middle of the night?

Jesus, you're so

f*cking control--

- Okay.

- Let me go.

- Jo

- You f*cking psycho, let me go.

Let me go! Let me go!

(printer whirring)

(printer whirring)

Voice: Jo

Holy sh*t.

♪

(gasping)

(breathing heavily)