- Great darts.
Now, hurry up, he's coming back
on.
- Welcome back to
the World
Darts Championship.
In this cricket match,
Smith and Henricksen
have closed the 20s through the
15s
and have two bullseyes.
They're also ahead by 20 points.
Whitman and Keyes have closed
the 20s through the 15s
and have one bullseye.
Allistair Whitman is
gonna need three bullseyes
to win the first televised
world championship.
- And he's
really gonna have to hit three
because Henricksen has been
hammering the bullseye all
night.
- Well, if
anybody can get a hat trick,
it's Allistair Whitman.
Oh, that all but ends the match.
He has to hit a double bullseye
to win,
and he's completely blocked it.
Start engraving Smith and
Henricksen on the trophy.
- Whitman and
Keyes have
won the world championship!
- I am
gobsmacked, how did he do that?
It's not human, I tell you.
Somebody get down there
and stop the engraver.
That is the greatest closing
dart
in the history of this game.
- Thrown
by the greatest player
in the history of this game.
- That's for you, weirdo
mittens...
- Weirdo mittens.
- You were not in the CIA.
- Yes, I was.
I was in Berlin when the wall
came down.
Do you think that happened by
itself?
- You're so full of sh*t,
Virge.
- All right, showtime, Mitch!
- Ooh, showtime, baby!
- All right, all right,
you got this, Hank.
All we need is one bullseye to
win.
- Are you crazy?
He hasn't hit a bullseye all
night.
- No way.
- Well, I'm willing to
bet you double or nothing
on your bar tab he's
gonna hit one right now.
- Oh, you're on.
- All right.
Your deal, one bullseye, okay?
You got this, buddy.
- Aw.
- What in the hell were you
aiming at?
- What do you think?
- How the hell am I supposed to
know?
You hit literally every
other damn thing in the room
except the bullseye.
- You know, Hank, that happens
again,
the rules say that if you catch
the dart
before it hits the floor,
you can sh**t it again.
- Thanks.
Have you ever caught a dart
that bounced off the board?
- No.
- Have you ever seen
anybody
catch a dart that bounced off
the board?
- No.
- Have you ever even heard
a story about someone
catching a dart that
bounced off the board?
- No.
- Well, thanks, that's great
advice.
- What, are you trying to be
cute, Hank?
Now, I'm gonna kick your a*s!
- All right, Dana, you got this.
Come on.
Ha!
- Oh!
- Showtime baby!
Showtime!
- Woo-oo-hoo!
- Drinks.
- Yep.
- Hoo!
- Hey, thanks for the drinks.
- Our pleasure, anytime.
- Showtime,
baby!
Showtime!
- That loss drops us to
number eight in the standings.
One more and we're right
out of the playoffs.
- Yeah, Dana was right.
I didn't hit a bull all night.
- No.
Bro, you just gotta learn
how to close the game.
- Well, it doesn't help with you
betting the whole tab on the
match.
Can we afford that?
- I know.
I should have made a disclaimer
like only their drinks,
like we couldn't buy
for Ian and Virgil too,
but, I don't know, I'm an idiot.
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- Dude, what are you doing?
You talking about Jackie?
- Yeah, just couldn't think
of a song with Jackie in it.
- Wait, was that supposed
to be "Come on Eileen"?
It's nowhere near the lyrics,
dude.
- Oh my God, it's not
about the song, Hank.
What I'm talking about
here is closing the deal.
You only live once, bro.
- Yeah, okay.
When's the last time you went on
a date?
- Hey, I've dated most
of the girls around here.
I've just run out of options.
It's a small town.
I'm gonna die alone.
You on the other hand.
- Shut up, dude.
- I am beat.
- I know.
f*cking show time.
I'm never playing them again.
I'm done, I hate 'em.
It's so stupid.
- We'll get 'em next time, baby.
Don't worry about it.
- Show time!
No show time!
They're so stupid.
- Hey, hey.
Dittle for the middle.
See who opens in the morning.
- Dude.
- sh*t!
- Ah, have a good night, man.
Hey, Jackie.
- Hi, Hank.
How was the match last night?
Tough one, huh?
- We'll bounce back.
- You want something?
- Yeah, just some flights, I
guess.
What do those ones say on 'em?
- These?
- The ones next to 'em.
- Foxy Mama.
- It's funny
'cause I was gonna ask,
have you ever had one before?
- Um...no.
- Really?
They're kind of awesome.
In fact, you should come
by the bar sometime.
We could have one together.
- Yeah, I really don't think
that's gonna be my thing.
- Oh, come on, you can at least
try one.
I think you'll like it, and
if for some reason you don't,
I'll get you something else.
- What the hell are you
talking about, Hank?
- What do you mean?
Oh, okay.
Ah, oh my God.
I thought you said Bahama
Mama like the drink.
- Ah, okay, yeah, that
makes way more sense.
I was like, he wants to
share a foxy mama with me.
Have we met?
- No, no.
Sorry, it's, in my head
I heard Bahama Mama.
I've been making drinks way too
long.
- You still want 'em?
- Yeah, I gotta get 'em now,
right?
It's two bucks.
- Don't even worry about it.
These are on me.
- Really?
- You come in here almost
every day and buy something.
I think I could let this slide.
- Oh, thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Um, I gotta get back to
work, but thanks again.
And seriously, if you want
to come by the bar one night,
I'll make us a couple of Bahama
Mamas.
Maybe it'll be your thing.
- I might just take you up on
that.
- I'll see ya.
- Hey Hank, I still
haven't got my latest check
from when I produced "Back to
the Future,"
and I was wondering--
- You did not produce that
movie.
- Yes, I did.
- No, you didn't.
I looked it up.
- Yes, I did.
I'm the one who told
Bob to use a DeLorean.
Do you know what the time
machine was before that?
A refrigerator.
How bad would that movie have
sucked
if they used a refrigerator?
- Then how come you're not on
IMDB?
- 'Cause I'm the uncredited
guy behind the scenes.
- My a*s.
- You're a very kind young man.
Ian, can I please bum a--
- Piss off.
- Here, Virgil,
someone left these here.
- Thanks, buddy, one of these
days.
- No worries.
- All right, another rusty
nail, make it a double.
- Bro, this is pathetic.
We need to do another
ladies' night or something.
- We've had three.
I've been wanting to do
karaoke night though.
That could be cool.
- Yeah, that could be cool.
But we need something.
Something big, something
different.
Some way to get people in here.
- Hey!
- Real people.
- Ah.
- We gotta think outside the
box.
Let's go work on your bullseyes,
and we'll try to come up with an
idea.
- Yeah.
- See, I can hit the
20s through 15s all day.
When it comes to the bullseye,
I have some kind of mental
block.
- Rusty nail!
- One minute, Ian.
- Don't think about it.
Just try throwing the
darts as fast as you can
without thinking.
- Crap.
- Still waiting on that drink,
Hank.
- Yeah, Ian, one second.
- That's, that was better.
Look it, now, I don't know,
move,
move your stance a little bit,
okay?
Try throwing from a different
angle.
Switch things up a bit.
Don't think about it.
- Jesus Christ.
Give me those things, would
you, before you hurt yourself?
- Wait.
- Give me some room.
Rusty nail, now!
- What the f*ck?
- Was it two doubles and one?
- Was it five bulls?
- Five?
It was two doubles and the one,
wasn't it?
- That was amazing.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, how'd you do that?
- Here, on the house.
- How'd I do that?
I imagined the bullseye was your
face.
- Okay.
- You wanna throw a game with
us?
- No!
- Why not?
- Because you're idiots.
- Whoa, who are
you calling an idiot?
- I've sat here and watched you
guys
throw hundreds of games and you
suck a*s.
I'd rather throw darts at my own
nuts.
- We're not idiots, are we?
- No, he's an as*h*le.
- Hey, turn this up, would ya?
Oh, what?
Oh, Hank, with sugar and
cinnamon
and whatever the hell else you
like,
would you please turn this up?
- You could write a children's
book.
- Hi, I'm Dirk MacIntyre,
and I'm standing outside
Uptown Social with Nicki
and Lance Gallyan, the brother
duo from Manchester, England,
who some believe are the
greatest
to ever play the game of darts.
They're here in Chicago to play
for their 10th World Darts
championship.
First time it's ever
been held in our country.
Welcome to America, gentlemen.
- Yeah, we heard we had to
play some team
from some place
for the world
championship.
Who gives a c*ck?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, gentlemen.
I need to remind you that we
are on national television.
- Oh, so sorry.
In that case,!
- So you're playing
the American champs,
Jules "The Dutch Dragon" Van
Dongen
and Chuck "Pipes" Puleo
for your 10th world title.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Dutch Oven and the Pips.
We played them 100 times
in every different format,
and we're 100 and 0.
It's embarrassing, honestly.
We're embarrassed for the entire
nation.
- But it would tie you with the
legendary Allistair Whitman.
- Him, the
w*nk*r.
- Again, national television.
And he is considered to be
the greatest dart player
that's ever lived.
In fact, didn't he come out of
retirement
to beat you two for the
Manchester Cup?
- What the
would you bring that up for?
- He couldn't carry me
sack, 'im.
We're the best that's ever been.
And that's a fact.
- So you've been
in town for a while
and the rumor is that it's not
just
to tune up for the big match.
- We're here to record our
first album.
- So the rumor's confirmed?
Is there anything you can
tell us about the record?
- All you need to know, friend.
is it's going to be the
best thing
you've ever heard
in your whole miserable g*dd*mn
life.
- Gotcha.
Do you have a name for
this upcoming record?
- No, we don't have a
title yet!
- It doesn't matter,
does it?
It's going to be the biggest
thing ever.
- I'm sure it will be.
Is there anything you wanna say
to Jules and Chuck before the
match?
- Yeah, yeah, you,
you tossers!
All right, you for
brains!
So.
- Understood.
And fellas, before you go, I
gotta ask.
It's nighttime.
Why are you two wearing
sunglasses?
- Why'd you-- I'm about to
punch you in the face right now.
- We have daytime sunnies,
nighttime sunnies,
rock and roll sunnies,
and dart-throwing sunnies.
And we never. Ever.
Take off. Our. Sunnies.
- Do you even have sleeping
sunglasses?
- Yeah!
- What a great couple of
guys.
Well, the best two out
of three World Darts
championship match will be
broadcast
here from Uptown Social live
tomorrow night in Chicago.
You won't wanna miss it.
- Mother.
- What's his problem?
- Who gives a sh*t?
Dude, we should go in the city
and watch this match tomorrow
night.
- Hell yeah, I'm down.
- All right.
Ooh, who's gonna watch the bar?
- Ah, dittle for the middle?
- Hey, you made it.
- I couldn't go another day
without trying a Bahama Mama.
- Coming right up.
- I'm gonna take a beer
and a whiskey neat.
Showtime, baby, showtime!
- Hey buddy, where's
Hank?
Hey, how about later
we'll play for tonight's
bar tab too, eh?
Showtime, baby, showtime!
- Don't you two ever get
tired of being you two?
- No.
- Nah.
- There you are.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
That is really good.
- I told you.
- How are those flights treating
you?
- They were good.
Not Bahama Mama good, but
they're not bad.
- Yeah, I came
by last night and--
- You were here?
- Only for a second.
You were throwing and
I didn't wanna bother.
- No, no, no, you
should've said something.
I was, I was looking
forward to seeing you.
- Hank!
Today's the day!
You've always been so nice to
me.
You're a very kind young man.
I want to give you something.
- I appreciate it.
Thank you, Virgil, but
that's not necessary.
- No, no, no, I want to, you're
very kind,
and I hope I'm not offending
you.
- No, no, no, you're not
offending me.
I'm just in the middle of
something so--
- Great, because you're very
kind,
and I want to give you
something.
Come here.
- I am here.
- No, closer, it's a secret.
Closer.
What I want to give you,
I'm not offending you, am I?
- Oh, not with anything you've
said.
- Good, because you're very
kind.
What I want to give you it's
about this big and it's real.
At least it feels real.
You sure I'm not offending you?
- I don't, I don't think so.
I don't know.
- Well, a famous actor buddy
of mine I met on "Point Break"
gave this to me back in the
'90s.
I think he paid a fortune for it
then.
And it's real.
Like I said, I mean, it feels
real,
and it's got real hair
on it and everything.
And I used to use it all the
time,
but I'm getting older and stuff
and can't really get it going
anymore.
So now I want you to have it.
- No, I don't, I don't think so.
- Do you understand what I'm
trying to give you, Hank?
- Yeah, I think I do, but I'm
not--
- You're making a big mistake.
This once belonged to--
- Jesus Christ, Virgil!
No one wants your old, used
death trap of a pocket vagin--
- Okay, thank you, Ian.
- You sure you don't want it?
- Ugh.
- Make some noise,
come on!
Representing the United States
of America, the challengers,
let's hear it for Jules "The
Dutch Dragon" Van Dongen
and Chucky "Pipes" Puleo.
Chucky, Chucky, Chucky!
Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules!
Make some noise for these guys!
Come on, let's hear it!
Everybody say, "Oh yeah!"
Woo!
- Hey, bet you the bar tab
they don't make it to a third
game.
- And from Manchester, England,
ladies and gentlemen,
the defending nine-time world
champions.
The undisputed masters, my
friends.
They're going for the record
tonight.
They're going for number 10.
You think they could do it?
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
let's hear it
for Nicki "The Manchester
Mauler" Gallyan
and Lance "Breedmar" Gallyan,
the Gallyan Brothers!
Let's hear it!
Woo!
- Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome
to tonight's World Darts
championship match.
I'm joined in the booth by the
one
and only former national
champion himself, Sean Grafton.
Welcome aboard, Sean.
- Thanks a lot for having me,
Dirk.
Glad to be here.
- Absolutely.
So do you have any thoughts
on tonight's match?
- The Americans are gonna have
a tough road ahead of them.
The Gallyan brothers are
the best team in the world
and have never lost a single
game to Jules and Chuck.
- They have a tough road
indeed.
Do you have any advice for 'em?
- I would tell the Americans,
since there's a lot of bad
blood between the two teams,
just to relax.
Don't let the Gallyan
brothers get under their skin.
- Sounds like good advice.
- Well, let's go down to the
oche
as the match is about to begin.
- Hey, do we get free drinks in
the booth
or do I have to bring my own?
- Good luck, gentlemen.
Shake hands and sh**t well.
- Ah, for f*ck's sake, you two
mugs again?
- America is f*ck' huge.
There's got to be somebody
better than you two
from sea to shining sea.
- We would've beat you
assholes in Hildesheim
if you didn't cheat.
- Who the f*ck needs to cheat
to beat you two tossers?
- What do you call messing
around
every time we're at the board?
- Okay, okay, fellas,
go back to your tables,
and let's play some darts.
- You know, I haven't thrown
darts in about a month.
This one's for your mums.
And this one--
- He just hit
a triple 20 without even
looking at the board.
Then a triple 19.
- And this last one.
- You two knobheads.
He can't possibly
hit the 18 too, can he?
- Oh my God, he
did it.
He threw a white horse without
looking.
- That's even more amazing
than Jordan's no look free
throws.
It's unbelievable.
Where's my drink?
- That was amazing.
- I'm telling you, they're the
best ever.
- It's gonna be
impossible to overcome
that amazing turn at the oche.
- Let's go!
We're gonna be releasing
our greatest hits album
before you throw a dart!
- Why don't you show some
sportsmanship
and let me take my turn?
- Hey, pull that sh*t again
like you did in Germany,
and I'm gonna kick your a*s.
- The Gallyans have
completely taken the wind
out of their sails.
A single 17.
- Oh, is this some kind of a
joke?
This is the best your country
has to offer?
- The bad blood
continues.
Chuck just threw a punch at
Lance.
Oh, it looks like he may have
hit Jules.
- You broke my nose!
- What the hell just happened?
- Ah, f*ck your
nose, I broke my dart hand!
- Drinks!
- The match has been canceled.
The match has been canceled!
This is the first World Darts
Championship
that's gonna be a no decision.
- It's unbelievable, I've
never seen anything like it.
Is there still time to get my
drink?
And do we still get paid?
- What in f*ck is wrong with
you?
Can't you see we're creating?
- We have a problem.
- You're about to have a bigger
one
when I shove this bass up your
a*s!
- Finally we got Wilkins and
Williams.
There's Hoover and Michaels.
- Oh, piss off.
- Okay, how about...
- Why do we have to play any
of these twat waffles anyway?
- 'Cause we are trying to
bring this sport to America,
and if you want to be global
stars,
sell out your music tour
here, and get minted,
then we need a championship
match
where you don't start a fight
and insult the entire nation!
- Well, I feel sorry for them
if that's the best they have.
Because those two are a
couple of muggy b*tches.
- See, that's exactly
what I'm talking about.
- By the way, we're sick
of playing f*ck' cricket.
- You threw exactly
three darts at cricket!
What are you talking about?
- This was just delivered
to the Gallyan Brothers.
And the man said it was urgent.
- It's probably another love
letter
from Emma Watson.
Boy, is he still there?
- No, he left
immediately.
- What does it say?
- I have something you want.
You have something I want.
If you want a chance to
win back the only trophy
you ever lost, then...
We found our team.
- Dart Side of the Moon?
They're a level C pub
team, you'll destroy them!
- I know, it's bloody perfect.
- Hey, how much, how much
dough you got in the back?
- Not a lot, why?
- No.
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah, I was just,
just curious, that's all.
Hey!
- I know, you are.
- Come on in.
It's ladies'...
Hey, first drink's on the house.
- Yeah, come sit down.
I'll tell you about the time I
had dinner
with the president of Botswana.
- I think
we're in the wrong spot.
- No, no, no.
No, no, this is the right spot.
We can throw in a second round
too.
- Oh, you know, they just
texted.
They're at the Ritz.
- Oh great, let's go.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, come
back.
We can do a third round!
What the hell, Virgil?
- What'd I do?
- I thought that third round
might...
- Hi, I'm looking for Hank
Fuller and Austin Turner.
- I'm Hank and this is Austin.
- Who are you?
Some sort of bill collector?
- No, I'm Lester Harrison,
Chairman of the Championship
Darts Corporation.
- Oh crap, I think I
forgot to send in our dues.
If this is about--
- This isn't about that.
This is something much
different.
I'm here to offer you boys
the opportunity of a lifetime!
How would you like to
play the Gallyan Brothers
for the Darts Championship of
the World?
- What?
This some kind of joke?
- No, this is completely on the
level.
After the no decision last
night,
we've decided to give an unknown
team a shot at the title!
And we've chosen you.
- Why?
- Picture this.
An unknown team comes from
nowhere
with a shot at the greatest
title in the world of darts.
Think of what it'll do for the
sport.
For every little kid
who ever picks up a dart
and dreams that maybe one day
they too can be a world
champion.
- We get paid anything to play?
- No, but $100,000 goes to the
winner.
- We'll do it.
- Wait, wait a minute.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
We're not gonna win $100,000.
We can't even beat Mitch and
Dana.
These guys are gonna destroy us.
- Yeah, of course they are.
Oh, it's gonna be a m*ssacre.
But who cares?
This is what we've been looking
for, Hank.
The promo for the bar.
It's gonna be on TV, right?
See, this is amazing.
We can wear our pub T-shirts
for the whole country to see.
Talk to the beachers,
see if they'll do an article on
us.
I don't know, get on the radio.
Talk about the match, promote
the bar.
This is amazing, bro.
- Austin!
- I'm Hank.
- Hank!
Your mate is making a lot of
sense.
What do you say, gentlemen?
- Hell yeah, we're in.
- Awesome.
All right, let's get started.
- All right, guys, guys, it's
coming on.
- It looks like there's been a
shakeup
in the world of darts.
In an unprecedented move,
the Championship Darts
Corporation has chosen
Dart Side of the Moon, an
unknown Michigan City team,
to play for the World Darts
Championship.
Do we know what city in
Michigan they're from?
- Michigan City,
Indiana!
- Anyways, the match will take
place
this Saturday at 8:00 PM
here at Uptown Social.
You can catch it here live,
but if you'd like to go down
and cheer on the underdogs in
person,
you might want to get there
early
because this one probably won't
last long.
Good luck, fellas.
- That sucked.
- Well, I should get back to the
shop,
but I thought it was great.
- Hey Jackie, do you want to
come to the match on Saturday?
They're gonna destroy us,
and it's gonna be really
embarrassing,
but it would be cool to have you
there.
- I bought a ticket the
moment you told me about it.
- Are we gonna make complete
fools
of ourselves on national TV?
- Yeah, you will, unless
you do exactly what I say.
- What happened to you?
- You want a chance to win?
- Win what?
- The World Dart
Championship, Hank.
- We're not trying to win.
They're the best ever,
don't be ridiculous.
- They are not the best ever.
But with that attitude, you
will make asses of yourselves.
- Do you think we actually
have a chance to beat them?
- I know this.
If I teach you and
coach you, you'll not go
on national television and
look like complete morons.
- I don't know, what're
we gonna do in a few days?
- We're certainly not gonna get
any worse.
Besides, we should try
to be our best, right?
We're gonna be sh**ting on
national TV.
Playing with shirts with
Michigan City and the pub on
them.
We can't show up like we
don't give a sh*t, right?
- All right.
- All right.
- Let's get to work, we got a
lot to do.
- Now?
- Now!
- Can we get some more drinks
here?
- Yeah, sure.
- What are you doing?
- Gonna go get some drinks?
- No, no, no, no, we're
training.
- What about our customers?
- It's not my problem.
Find a solution now!
- Well, I guess we don't need
any drinks.
- Hold on.
I think I have an idea.
What about?
- You think? -
He's always here anyway.
- Yeah, sure, why not?
- Hey, Virgil, you want a job?
- Doing what?
- Tending bar.
We can't pay much and you're
gonna make crappy tips, but--
- Okay.
- Have you ever tended
bar before?
- I mean, I used to own the most
popular
bistro in Paris, we had--
- All right.
- All right.
Let me show you a few things.
- No, that's okay, I got it.
- I didn't know you had
an apron.
Et pour vous, Monsieur?
- Oh, vodka martini, extra
dirty, and a zorn after two.
- Huh.
I did not see that coming.
It's like watching a horse ride
a bike.
The five things it takes
to be a great dart player.
Number one, how to stand at the
oche.
- What's an oche?
- Oche is the line you
throw the darts from.
- Why don't you say the line?
- Because it's called an oche.
Your feet should be a foot
to a foot and a half apart.
Your weight balanced upon your
front leg
with a line from the
20 through the bullseye
to the middle of your foot.
Yep.
Your back leg behaves as a
kickstand.
You should be comfortable and
relaxed.
Comfortable?
Are we relaxed?
Gentlemen, I can't tell
you how concerned I am
as to whether you're
comfortable and relaxed or not.
Number two, how to throw a dart.
- I know how to throw a--
- Shut up.
Arm raised at a 90 degree angle,
your forearm completely
straight.
Aim, draw back, fire, and follow
through.
Ideally, there should be as
little movement as possible.
Good, now do that a couple
thousand times.
- A thousand?
- A couple thousand!
While I watch.
Fellas, I'm going to teach
you as my father taught me.
With hard work, respect,
and dedication for the game.
When I am done with you,
you will know darts.
Better yet, you will know
yourselves.
I will make you dart-throwing
machines.
I will also make you
gentlemen of the sport.
- God.
- People are laughing at us.
- Yeah, they are.
You look ridiculous.
Get used to it.
Hank, you can't hit bullseyes
when you're all alone at home.
What do you think is gonna
happen
when you're at the World Dart
Championship
where there's a huge crowd of
people there
and TV cameras pointed directly
at you?
- Holy sh*t.
- Holy sh*t is right.
Which is why I want you guys
to do two things for me.
Number one, no drinking before
the match.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no
drinking?
- Correct.
- You mean while we're throwing?
- No, I mean no drinking.
- But what about when
practice is over and--
- I said no drinking period.
- Hold on, but I like to
wind down after a long night.
- Then get Harvey Wallbanger to
coach you.
Number two, I got a task
on this piece of paper
that I want you to
complete before the match.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I
didn't say stop throwing.
Get back to the oche.
As little movement as possible,
right?
Little movement as possible.
Towel off too, you both look
like pigs.
- You sure this is what
he meant?
- What it said
on the piece of paper.
- It's crazy.
It's a practice sport.
It's gonna take us forever
to finish the game.
- I know, but we said
we'd do it, so just do it.
- But do we have to do it like
this?
- I don't know.
But we're here so throw.
- Okay.
- What happened, you bozos lose
a bet?
- f*ck this, I'm out of here.
- Yep, thank God.
Austin.
- What?
- Austin!
- Number three, strategy.
We must always stay one
step ahead of our opponents.
They close one number, we close
the next.
They go for points, we go for
more.
We never play their game,
fellas.
And we wait for them to
make the one little mistake
that allows us to pounce and
defeat them.
- Hank "The Hammer"?
- Number four, you gotta
have a cool nickname.
- It is pretty cool.
- Yeah, because you're
not being called a tosser.
- Ace that 18.
- I'm trying.
- Okay.
- Gah!
- Give me a number.
- 17, triple 17.
- On it.
- Okay.
Lower.
Nope, nope, I'm leaving.
- Austin.
- Nope.
- Austin!
- I don't know what
to do, I tried everything.
- Hey, what's your favorite
number to throw at?
- Anything besides the bulls.
- No, I mean, what's your
favorite number?
Every dart player has a favorite
number.
- I like 18s.
- Okay, do you think you
can hit 18 in that circle?
- I think so, yeah.
- All right, let me see.
Good.
Now the next time you
throw, aim at that dart.
Just use it as a marker.
- Okay, yeah, I see that.
But the 18s are easy, it's
the bulls I can't hit.
- Yes, you can.
The bullseye is a circle one
and a half inches in diameter.
It's actually one of the larger
landing areas on the board.
It's just an optical illusion.
That space you just hit, all
those 18s,
is the same size as the
bullseye.
If you can hit those 18s,
you can hit the bulls.
That's all there is to it.
Now, throw at the bulls, but in
your mind,
just imagine that big open space
where you hit all those 18s.
That's right, right?
It's just an 18, right?
Breathe, picture the 18, and
throw.
- Austin, did you see that?
- Way to go, man.
- That's how you do it.
But one out of three is not
gonna cut it.
So let's get back to work.
I can tell you this, the
Gallyan brothers are taking this
more seriously than you guys
are.
- Nicki!
- So then I thought, is
it a gift from heaven
to know that we're going to die?
- Right.
Well, you should probably go see
what...
Is that an MMMBop tattoo on your
wrist?
- Yeah, but it's pronounced
MMMBah, love.
- Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's
MMMBop.
- No, it's MMMBah.
- Anyway, why do you have a
tattoo
of a terrible song on your arm?
- A terrible song?
Are you f*cking kidding me?
Have you ever listened to the
lyrics?
- Yeah, don't they just say
"MMMBop" over and over again?
- No, love, it's a song
about relationships
and getting older.
Losing your hair and flowers.
It's like The Beatles
"When I'm Sixty-Four"
or Shakespeare or The Eights.
It's f*cking poetry, darling.
Here, listen to this.
Can you tell me, oh, no, you
can't.
'Cause you don't know.
Can you tell me?
You say you can, but you don't
know.
Can you tell me,
oh, which flower is gonna grow?
No, you can't 'cause you don't
know.
Can you tell me whether
it'll be a daisy or a rose?
You say you can, but you don't
know.
- Yeah, MMMBop is still a
terrible song.
- It's MMMBah.
Hey, I didn't finish
telling you the lyrics.
- Lastly, and most important,
number five,
release the pressure.
At all times, we want to be
calm, relaxed, and in focus.
My father would say that
when he was in the zone,
everything else in the
world would go away.
It was just him, his
darts, and the dart board.
Don't let anything rattle you.
We respond, we do not react.
And remember, breathe.
- There we go.
- Yeah.
What do you want, what do you
want?
- Bullseyes, it's time for
bullseyes.
- Easy.
I mean hard.
- Closer, closer.
Don't leave me hanging.
- I won't leave you hanging.
There it is.
- Bullseyes.
- Bullseyes.
- Hey.
- How's it going?
I'm on my way to training.
I just wanted to come by
and see you real quick.
- Great.
How you holding up?
Big match is tomorrow.
- Yeah, it's crazy, right?
You're still coming, aren't you?
- Of course, I'm so excited.
And just think, pretty soon
you're gonna be world champs.
- I don't know about that.
- Hey, hey!
- Good luck tomorrow.
- We're all watching and rooting
for ya.
- Thanks, man.
- See.
- Well, what I was gonna say is,
I don't know if we'll win, but
if we can at least make it go
to three games, that would be
amazing.
- Nah, you're gonna win.
And when you do, you
better not forget about us.
- Impossible.
- You guys have worked
hard, come a long way.
Now there's just one thing left.
- What's that?
- Play me in a game of darts.
sh**t well, gentlemen.
- Sorry about that.
- No, two out of
three's great, brother.
- It's okay.
- Please.
- Good game, good game.
All right, tomorrow I'll pick
you guys up before the match.
We'll go over everything.
Make sure you're in the
right frame of mind.
Oh, and don't think I'm proud
of you guys or anything.
- Can you believe we just beat
Ian?
Bro, we might have a
chance at winning tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- Excuse me.
- Hey.
- Sorry to interrupt.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
- Yeah, sure.
- No, take your time.
Hey, Virgil, can you do me a
favor?
- So I got you something
for the match tomorrow.
- You did?
- Yeah, it's not much, and
you don't have to use 'em
if you don't want to, but I just
thought.
Turn it around.
- This is great.
Oh, I'm definitely gonna
wear this tomorrow.
Thank you.
- And one for Austin.
- He's gonna hate it.
It's great.
- And I didn't know if
Ian had a nickname, so.
- Yeah, that's.
That's him, that'll do it.
Thank you.
- Of course.
- So where'd the name
"Good News" come from?
- My grandparents were
collectors.
They used to take me on these
long drives where we'd go
to these little shops, and
they'd find these great pieces.
My grandmother used to find
a piece she loved and say,
"Well, here's some good news."
I always got a kick out of that.
- It's cute.
- So what about you, Hank?
Was it always your dream to own
a bar
and play the World Darts
Championship?
- No, no, not even
close.
The bar's been in the family
forever,
but it sat empty for years.
And then after Mom died and me
and Austin moved back, we were
like,
"Hey, let's get the old
pub up and running again."
So.
- So you and Austin?
- Half brothers, different dads.
- Huh, I didn't know that.
- Hey.
Ooh, do you have a few minutes?
- Sure, what's up?
- I wanna show you something
real quick.
Here, come on.
- Who is that?
- That is Jay.
He's great, right?
- Amazing.
How did I not know about this?
- He doesn't publicize it.
He just does these little
impromptu shows.
And if you're in the know,
you get a little alert
when one's happening.
It's pretty cool, right?
- Very cool.
Can I be in the know?
- I think we could work
something out.
- So then what is your dream,
Hank?
- What, you can tell me.
It can't be that bad.
- I've always wanted to do that.
- Sing?
Sing something for me.
- No.
- Why not?
- It makes me nervous.
- Why?
- I don't know.
It's just you're up there all
alone
and people are staring at you.
It's just...
- Well, you gotta try.
Close your eyes.
Picture everybody in their
underwear.
Have a Bahama Mama or
two, you'll be great.
You're gonna sing for
me one day, Hank Fuller.
- After all this training
we've been doing with Ian,
I've been thinking about giving
it a shot.
- I'm gonna hold you to it.
- Thank you for taking me.
Oh, his voice was so good.
- Of course.
I'm glad it came up, you know.
- And I'm in the know now,
right?
- Officially, yeah.
- Okay, I'll hold you to it.
- Hey, do you want to come
up for a glass of wine?
I don't have the stuff to
make a Bahama Mama, but.
- Sounds good.
- Cool.
- Is Austin here?
- Austin?
He's probably still at the bar.
- Great place.
Did you design it yourself?
- Thank you.
Yeah, pretty much.
TV and dartboard are Austin's.
- Ah.
Can I use your bathroom?
- Yeah, yeah.
Let me show you where that is,
it's here.
Here you go.
What the f*ck?
Did he see me? - I
don't know, I think so.
- Okay, look, what do we do?
Should we stay?
We should go, oh my God.
Okay, I'm so sorry.
Let's just head out.
We'll pretend like this never
happened.
- Hank!
- Yeah?
- Is that, that you?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I'll be out in just a minute.
- I'll see you at the match
tomorrow.
You're gonna be great.
- Yeah.
- Whoa.
Dude, are you okay?
- Sorry about that.
Just been a little bit stressed
and
just trying to blow off some
steam.
- By getting herpes?
Dude, Virgil has been using
that thing since the '90s.
- I know.
I've hit an all time low.
- What are you stressed about?
We're gonna be great tomorrow.
- It's not about the match,
it's...
- What, I could help.
What is it?
- No.
No, no, no.
I got it, I got it.
I tell you, I sure could use a
drink right about now though.
- Ian said we have to
do exactly as he says.
If you drink, then that--
- He's not gonna know, Hank.
- Yeah, but I will.
- Look, I gotta, I gotta
throw this thing away.
Carrying around a bag full of
shame.
I'm gonna go for a little
walk and collect my thoughts.
We can talk about this
when I get back, cool?
Cool.
- Sure.
Yeah, but Austin, seriously,
man, don't go out drinking.
We have a chance tomorrow.
You saw what happened tonight.
We beat Ian.
- He let us win!
g*dd*mn it.
That's not what I...
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna get rid of
this,
and I'll just be right back.
- Do you want a walking partner?
- Excuse me?
- Do you want a walking partner?
Just you're there and I'm here,
and it's that weird sort of
awkward thing.
And I just figured, well, that's
silly.
You know, we may as well walk
together.
- Yeah, sure.
Where are you headed?
- Do you know where Holloway
Drive is?
- You sure you're in
the right neighborhood?
- I have no idea.
I just moved here, and I
was meeting some coworkers,
and I can't find the street.
And I keep texting them, but
nothing.
And I'm so lost.
- Yeah, I've never heard of it.
You try googling it?
- Yeah, I did, but nothing came
up.
I just drove down here.
I figured this is where
all the cool spots in town
seem to be.
- They are, but I don't know.
I grew up here.
I'd never heard of that before.
Sorry, I wish I could help you
out, just--
- Ah, it's fine.
I'll just see them on Monday
and figure something out.
- I could, I could walk you
back to your car if you'd like.
- That'd be nice, thanks.
What's in the bag?
- Ah, ah!
- What the heck is that?
- It's, it's nothing, it's
nothing.
That was nothing.
That was, that was my little
brother's.
I was just throwing it away for
him.
So, and now it's gone.
- You're acting really strange.
Was that a--
- No, that was, that was
nothing.
That was definitely nothing.
It's gone, so.
So how long you lived here?
- About a week.
- Wow, you are new.
- I am.
- Where'd you move from?
- Santa Claus.
- Santa Claus?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, now you're just, now
you're just messing with me.
- No, honestly, it's a small
town.
- Oh no, I know all about
Santa Claus, Indiana.
I just never met anybody from
there.
- Oh, that's where I am.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Holy sh*t.
You have no idea how
excited this makes me.
- Why is that?
- I don't know.
I've always just had a thing
for those little Indiana towns
with weird, funky names, you
know?
- Hmm.
Like Mudsock?
- Hey, that's a good one.
Carefree, Indiana.
- Toad Hop.
- Hardscrabble.
- Beehunter.
- g*dd*mn, you're good at this.
Okay, now if you want
to get a little spicy,
there's the famous French Lick,
Indiana.
- Ooh.
Keeping on the spicy
theme there is Buddha.
- Buddha?
- Yeah.
You know, it's spelled like
Buddha.
You know how the rest of the
world would pronounce it,
but this being Indiana.
- Nice, that's hilarious.
Okay, now are my personal
favorites.
Floyds Knob.
- Pocket Punani.
- Pocket, what?
No, that was, that was my
little brother's, I swear.
- I hope for your sake it was
'cause that did not look good.
- No, I, honest.
- Well, this is me.
- Oh.
- It's been nice.
- Yeah.
- Do you wanna get a drink?
- A drink?
Yeah.
- Are you nervous?
- Never, me?
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much, looks
great.
Yeah.
It's weird.
- What is?
- Well, I've been in this
place a bunch of times,
and it's always packed.
Makes you feel like everybody
knows something you don't.
- Hmm.
Maybe it's just one of
those kind of nights.
- What kind is that?
- When the unexpected can
happen.
- Can I ask you a serious
question now?
- Sure.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Have you noticed how
much the Statue of Liberty
looks like Elvis?
- What, no, it doesn't.
- Oh, you don't believe me?
- No, it doesn't.
- Okay.
Let's take a look at this,
please.
- That's insane.
- That's crazy, right?
- How come more people
aren't talking about this?
- I don't know.
You know what?
- What?
- I think it's up to us now
to start getting the word out
about it.
- So what do you do?
- I own a bar.
I own a bar with my little
brother Hank.
- Oh, the one with the...
- Geez, yes.
Yeah, yep, that's the one.
You're not gonna believe this.
He and I are playing for
the World Darts Championship
tomorrow in Chicago.
- You're right, I don't believe
you.
There is no such thing as
the World Darts Championship.
- What?
Yes, there is.
It's a real thing, and we're
playing in it tomorrow.
It's gonna be on TV and
everything.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- It's nuts.
- Hey, that's
amazing.
You must be pretty good.
- Yeah.
- Well, let's drink to that
then.
- Cheers.
Come on, man.
Answer your phone.
I screwed up.
I told him you let us
win the match yesterday.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.
Just been so stressed out
lately.
The bar's in terrible shape.
We're barely hanging on.
This apartment, I mean,
everything, it's all tied
together.
And we could lose it all.
I've been so stressed out
lately.
I even used Virgil's fake
hoo-ha.
- Ugh.
- I know, I know.
It's disgusting.
Hank, he doesn't, he doesn't
know about any of this.
Well, he knows about the hoo-ha.
That was embarrassing.
He doesn't know about the rest,
you know.
We've just come so far.
- Let's go find him.
- Okay.
- That's okay, come on.
- Oh, just the guy I wanted to
see.
- Why, have you seen Hank?
- Nope, I finally got my check.
- You gotta be sh1tting me.
- I told you.
If it weren't for me, it
would've been a damn
refrigerator.
- Well then, Virgil, I guess
you deserve that money.
Hey, do me a favor.
If you see Hank, have him get in
touch
with me immediately, please.
- Sure thing, everything okay?
- I don't know, man.
We're about to find out.
- Hey, here for some last minute
supplies?
- No, I...
- Where is he?
- I was hoping you might know.
You know, he really...
Well, you're the first place I
looked.
- Why'd you leave?
- Who am I kidding?
These guys are the best in the
world,
and I can't even hit a bullseye
when I'm at home by myself.
I started to believe we could
win too.
- You can't hit a bullseye?
Is that a joke?
- What do you mean?
- You hit one every moment
of every day with me.
You've never not hit a bullseye,
as far as I can tell, Hank.
You're just a bullseye kinda
guy.
Look how far you've come.
There's a champion inside you.
That's what I see.
Now, go show the world
what the Hank Fuller
that I know can do.
- Thanks.
- No, don't thank me.
When you win, you owe me a song.
- I'll see you at the match?
- Wouldn't miss it for the
world.
- I mean, if he doesn't get here
soon--
- He'll be here.
- Sorry I'm late.
- You're my brother, Hank.
You don't have to apologize to
me.
I'm just glad you made it.
Oh, by the way, I didn't drink
last night, and I was wrong.
Ian didn't let us win the match,
right?
- I don't know if you
drank last night or not,
but if you did, I'm gonna kick
your a*s.
And yeah, I didn't let you guys
win.
You guys played great.
Now, why don't we show these
boys
how we do things on this side of
the pond?
Hold this and stand at the oche.
What's that say?
- Seven feet, nine and a quarter
inches.
- Now hold it at the bullseye.
Now what's that say?
- Five feet, eight inches.
- Exactly right.
It's the same dartboard you guys
have been throwing at the whole
time.
They don't change any rules
for the world championship.
Cool?
- Cool.
- All right, let's go warm up.
- Guys, wait a second.
- What's up?
- They didn't even bother
to change the banner.
- That's okay.
After tonight, they're never
gonna forget your names.
- Ladies and
gentlemen, let's get started
and do some darting!
Everybody say, "Oh yeah!"
- Oh yeah!
- Oh yeah!
Representing, of course,
Manchester, England,
nine-time world champions,
the Gallyan Brothers!
Let's hear it!
Make some noise, come on,
people!
Show 'em your love, woo!
Woo!
And let me hear you make some
noise!
And from Michigan City, Indiana!
- Woo!
- We got you going!
Let's hear it from Michigan
City, Indiana,
Hank "The Hammer" and
Tossin' Austin Turner, baby!
Dart Side of the Moon!
Let me hear you guys say, "Oh
yeah!"
- Showtime for you, baby!
Showtime!
- It's showtime,
woo!
- Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen,
and thanks for joining me
and my partner in the booth,
Sean Grafton, for tonight's
World Darts Championship.
What are your thoughts, Sean?
- First off, I just wanna
apologize
for the joke I made last week
about,
you know, having a drink in the
booth.
That's just silly dart humor,
and I really didn't mean
anything by it.
- Not a problem.
I doubt anybody took that
seriously.
- So thoughts about the match?
- One word, blood bath.
These guys from a pub
league in a little town
in Indiana have no chance.
Two games to nothing.
I doubt they even score a single
point against the Gallyans.
- Well, there you have it,
folks.
From the former champ himself.
Let's go down to the oche as
the match is about to begin.
- Hey, my name is Ian.
I coach Dart Side of the Moon.
- Good luck, mate.
You're gonna need it.
Do you have our trophy?
- No, I think they only
give you that if you win.
You guys got what I want?
- What, an apology?
What do we owe you a f*ck'
apology for?
- What you said about my father.
Hey, you know what, nevermind.
I'll get it after.
- Hey.
- Yeah.
- Hey, who's your old man?
- My father is Allistair
Whitman.
And now I wish you guys good
luck
'cause you're gonna need it.
- Listen, is he really your dad?
- Stay focused, finish warming
up.
- Did you hear that?
Did I just hear that Allistair
Whitman is his father?
- That's what it sounded like to
me.
- If that's true, does
that make any difference
in tonight's match?
- No.
They still have zero chance to
win.
- Tonight's game is the
best of three match.
The first team to win two
matches is the champion.
Now, the standard CDC rules
apply,
and the Gallyan brothers
won first to throw.
Are you ready, gentlemen?
Then shake hands and sh**t well.
- sh**t well.
- You twos are punching
way above your weight.
We've been told to be nice
and play a soft little game
and make it look good.
So play along, or I'll
send you a both home
in a f*ck' ambulance.
- And here you go.
We want you to be the first to
have this.
- A CD, great.
Hold on, this is our name.
- And now it will always be
remembered
as the title of our first album.
You're welcome.
- I don't want their piece of
sh*t record.
- I don't know, might check it
out.
It might be cool, right?
- What?
- Hey, Hank, can I see
that thing for a second?
- Get the f*ck out of here!
What are you doing?
- I'm looking for my friend.
- Well, who gives a sh*t?
They gonna throw your darts for
ya?
Why don't you guys get
your heads in the game?
- Triple 20.
Triple 19.
They're gonna have an 0 for
points.
Oh, a white horse!
He threw a white horse!
- Screw him, you know what to
do.
- They're not
taking Dart Side seriously.
They just went in into that.
- Well, let's see
how Dart Side responds.
- Triple 17.
Triple 16, okay.
Triple 15?
- That's unbelievable!
These boys came to play!
- Christ, that was fun.
- Yes, yes!
- I gave that guy my p*ssy!
That guy owns my p*ssy!
Woo!
- Pulled a blinder there, didn't
ya?
- Austin's turn
at the oche must have
shaken Nicki up because
he only hit two 20s.
- What the f*ck was that?
- I don't know.
- Here we go, this is our
chance.
Go for points, close out 20s,
19s.
We got this.
- Hank only manages 34
points.
- Sorry about that.
- We're still in it, come on.
- Lance closes the 17s
and 16s.
Austin closes 20s and 19s.
- He should have
gone for points in the 15s.
His coach won't be happy about
that.
- Nicki closes the
15s and lands a bullseye.
It's all in the 18s, it's just
the 18s.
- Hank is only
able to get one bullseye.
He needed a bunch of them
to keep them in this.
- Well, whatever your name is,
you're just a little chucker
who cracks under pressure,
aren't you?
Get your notebook, laddie.
Show you how it's done.
- Gallyan Brothers, one,
Dart Side of the Moon, zero.
- Just as I predicted,
Dirk.
Folks, if you have those
dinner reservations
in 20 minutes, you're not gonna
miss 'em.
- I'm k*lling us, guys, I'm
sorry.
- I'm gonna tell you
something my father told me
about darts, but it applies
to everything in life.
You have to believe right here,
right now,
that you're as great as any dart
team
that ever was or ever will be.
But you have to believe that.
- Hank!
- Hey.
- Hank, how's the match going?
- Terrible.
We lost the first game.
I couldn't concentrate.
- Well, I think it's 'cause
I had to get you these.
- Thank you.
- So you weren't lying.
- Hey, you made it.
- You kidding?
I had to see this with my own
eyes.
- Thank you.
- What the hell is this?
Let's throw some darts so we
can get the hell out of here!
- I'll see you around, okay?
- Okay.
- Hey, don't go anywhere.
- I won't, I promise.
- You promise?
- I promise.
But you have to promise me
something.
- Anything.
- Win.
- All right, you heard what the
man said.
Let's throw some darts.
- Let's go.
- Hi.
- This should be the
final game of the match.
I don't think Dart Side
can keep up with it.
- Lance is keeping
the same strategy.
Closing the 20s and 19s.
- Yep.
- Let's see if Austin
can answer like last game.
- f*ck it.
- Whoa, triple 20.
Triple 19!
Triple 18!
I didn't see that coming.
It's like he said, you can't
hit the white horse here,
but I sure as sh*t can.
- Great job, brother.
- They're still
not taking them seriously.
Hank steps up to the oche.
This is where the game
has faltered in the past.
Triple 17!
Triple 16.
Triple 15.
Wow.
- Wow, the Gallyans are
gonna start
taking 'em seriously now.
- Single bullseye.
Double bullseye.
And another single bullseye.
- Yeah, you see now
they're starting to score
points.
- Austin could
potentially close the game.
- He needs to shut
down the bulls first.
Single bull.
Double bull.
- He needs the triple
16 or 15 for a miracle game.
- Dart Side of the
Moon throws a perfect game.
I cannot believe it.
What an amazing display of
darts.
- No one saw this
coming, especially me.
The Gallyan Brothers, one,
Dart Side of the Moon, one.
Ladies and gentlemen, now we
have a match.
- That's right, cancel
those dinner reservations.
Showtime, baby, showtime!
- They took off their
sunnies.
They said they never
take off their sunnies.
- They mean business.
Here we go, ladies and
gentlemen.
The final game.
- This is exciting stuff.
- Lance Gallyan
hits three triple 20s.
He's closed the 20s and scored
120 points.
- That was a
magnificent start to the game.
- Triple 19.
Another triple 19.
The way these two are throwing,
their coach may really be
Allistair Whitman's son.
Austin Turner hit seven 19s.
Dart Side of the Moon at 76
points.
- Great response.
- Nicki hits a
triple 19 and three 18s.
As I thought, both teams are
now playing a modern strategy.
Hank Fuller hits two
triple 17s and a triple 20.
Fantastic darts.
They've now gone ahead with 127
points.
- Lance hits the
triple 18 and three 17s.
- They've retaken
the lead with 174!
- What a match.
- Incredible!
And now they have the lead by
one.
- Nicki finds four 15s,
giving them the lead with 189
points.
They've again inched
ahead with 191 points.
- This is like
two heavyweight boxers
giving everything they have
in the final round of a title
match.
An incredible thing to witness.
- Lance lands a triple
15, then finds two 16s.
They're ahead with 234 points.
Austin hits another triple
16 and closes the 15s
as they've regained the
lead with 239 points.
- Last dart just misses.
- Yes, but it landed in
the 16.
Closing out that number.
Meaning it all comes down to the
bulls.
To recap, the Gallyan Brothers
have closed out the 20s
through the 15s, and they've
managed two bullseyes.
They also have 234 points.
Dart Side of the Moon has
also closed out the 20s
through the 15s.
They have no bulls, but they
are ahead with 239 points.
Dart Side of the Moon needs
three bulls
to the Gallyan Brothers two
to win the game and the match.
- Hey, Hank, look at me.
- So?
- Sorry, oh, my God.
I cannot stop thinking about
how much the Statue of Liberty
looks like Elvis.
Hey, there's no pressure, man.
We've already won.
- That does not look good.
- - It's not good at all.
It's virtually impossible.
The dart is covering almost
the entire double bull,
which is what he needs to win.
This shot was only made once,
and that was by the greatest
player to ever throw a dart.
- Dart Side of the Moon
wins!
Dart Side of the Moon wins!
They are the new Darts
Champions of the world.
- He actually caught the
dart.
In all my years, I've never seen
that.
- This may be the
greatest day in the history
of this beautiful sport.
- We did it, bro, we did it!
- I know, unbelievable.
- We won!
No, that shot was unbelievable.
And we saved the bar.
- Wait, what?
What are you talking about?
- Oh, dude, if we didn't win
$100,000,
we could have lost the place.
- Seriously?
- Yeah, the apartment too.
- When were you gonna tell me?
- Never.
- What the mother of Christ
happened?
I told you they'd never forget
your names after tonight!
- Is that why you had us
play in our underwear?
So we'd be ready for this?
- No, that had nothing
to do with anything.
Ah, I just thought that was
funny.
- Is Allistair Whitman really
your dad
or was that some bullshit too?
- Hey, does it matter?
- Nah.
- Hey!
- That was for you, Weirdo
Mittens.
- Who knew darts could be so
exciting?
- It's surprising, right?
- Yeah.
You're gonna have to show
me how to play later.
- Gentlemen, I...
- What the f*ck do you want?
- I think we know what I want.
- Thank you.
- For what?
- For everything, I couldn't
have done it without you.
Hey, I was wondering.
Do you think you and I could
sometime...
Would you be interested in--
- Good Lord, Hank.
Why do you think I have
a little dart section
in my otherwise beautiful shop?
Yes.
Yes, I would love to go out with
you.
- Huh, so you're still saying
it was Hank's fake vag*na?
- Bugger all.
- Hey, I'm gloating here, man.
- Is this some kind of a f*cking
joke?
- What?
- You're a f*cking q*eer?
- Hey, hey, you got a problem
with him, then you could--
- Hey, no, it's all good, man.
I got this.
Listen, man, I just learned--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever,
look.
All I wanted to say was I'm a
q*eer too,
but up until now, I was the only
one
playing championship darts,
you know what I mean?
Welcome to the f*cking game,
mate.
You lads played well, and
we want a f*ck' rematch.
- Also did not see that coming.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
- All right, let's give it
up for Virgil, everybody.
Thank you so much, Virgil,
for that wonderful rendition
of "Darling Nikki."
- Yeah, Prince was a good friend
of mine.
The original title of that
song--
- Yes, he was, yes, he was.
Thank you, Virgil.
Another round for Virgil!
All right.
Never did this before,
but there's a first time
for everything, right, so.
- Woo!
- Here goes nothing.
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Bulls (2026)
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