01x06 - Childbirth

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

- If you bottle up your feelings,

you'll end up doing
something stupid like I did.

- What did you do?

I can't wait around for
Mister. Right forever.

- Your son is not a joke, he's brave,

he's sweet and he deserves
a dad who respects him.

- Dad, stop messing
around, it's not funny.

- He's not messing around,
he's gone into arrest.

- One of my team's just lost their dad.

[upbeat music] [rain trickling]

[sirens blaring]

Bloody hell, who died?

Oh yeah.

- Do you wanna sign the card for Maleek?

- You've not left much
space for anybody else.

- Once we started, the
feelings just came pouring out.

- Is that all you're gonna write?

Why don't you just spit on his head?

- You think it's a bit soon

to have Maleek coming back to work?

- No, probably, but we're stretched.

I'm even having to ride
an ambulance with you,

you big hairy twat.

- Think you'll cope without your desk,

pen pusher? [chuckles]

- Think you'll cope without
your bike and stabilisers,

prick?

Oh, sorry about your dad, Maleek.

- Yeah.

- You probably feel like...

You feel like you're in a strange space

at the moment but it
comes and goes in waves.

Two years from now, you know,

that's when it gets really bad.

And then you sort of go into free fall

and then your head goes and
you try and get it back, but.

- Yeah, thanks.

- We are all here for you, mate.

- Thank you.

Who are you?

- Gary, I work here!

- Look, I don't know your dad.

- Okay, enough chat, everyone off, go.

Thanks for coming back so soon.

We'll try to make today
easy, cover all the cat ones

and pick up the slack for you, yeah?

- Thank you.

- That said,

job's a job, so you might
see some horrible sh*t.

Touch wood though.

[upbeat music]

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- Yeah, I ordered a massive bellend

and, oh, I'm terribly
sorry, it has just got here.

- That's good, I'd like to order

a blonde paramedic control freak.

Oh, hang on,

she's here already because
she's a control freak.

- Strap in, you strap on.

- How's my guy?

I've be so worried about you,

I don't know if you've got my text.

- Yep.

- So sorry about the first one.

I genuinely thought
LOL meant lots of love.

[siren blaring]

How was the funeral?

- It's a funeral, sad,
stood up, said a few words,

spat some bars, had everyone in tears.

- Felt bad about missing it,
but you didn't invite me,

so I didn't know where it was.

I thought you might blame
me for what happened.

Crazy, aye?

[upbeat music]

- Sorry, I'm looking for
a women who works here?

Helen, it's actually really
important that I find her

and I honestly don't say
things are really important

when they're not because I'm really find

that sort of stuff really fake.

- I do remember a Helen
from the Lewisham depot.

Why don't I give them a bell?

- Gary?

Step away from the school
sh**ter and get in, in!

- Sorry.
- Now!

- 451 Papa Kilo, got a
fainter at the market.

- You just hold that on there, love.

No wonder you fainted if you've
not eaten since breakfast.

- Guys, just so you know,
anything you want, totally free.

- Oh, thanks!

- Anything for you NHS heroes.

- Thanks.

- Maleek?

- Oh nah, I'm not hungry.

- What?

It's free food, just like lockdown.

- I don't want it.

- No to free food?

You're the reason Krispy Kreme's

stopped giving paramedics free donuts.

- Right, fine,

I'll have a double chicken
burger with cheese.

And sweet potato fries
and a Coke, full fat.

♪ Run, smile and go, smile and go ♪

♪ The sun comes down, smile
and go, smile and go ♪

- It's rough on Maleek,

it's hard coming back

when your whole world's
just, Boom!

- He'll be okay.

Won't he?

I mean, how long does grief take?

- Oh well, you cant' put
a time scale on it really.

- No?

Have a bash.

- Karen died 10 years ago and
sometimes I'm completely fine.

Next minute, boom, I've
gone down the hole.

- Yeah, I've seen it.

You know what, I think
the best thing for Maleek

would be to just get over it, move on.

- Right.

- Shouldn't he try to be happy?

I don't know, maybe find someone new,

there could be someone
new right under his nose

right now that he's never thought of,

that's there waiting to
love him, look after him,

make him happy again.

- What, a new dad?

- No, not, not, not a new dad.

Can we talk about
something else please, Loz?

'Cause you're sending
me down the hole now.

[Loz chuckles]

[upbeat music]

- All right Debbie,

I'm just gonna lift you
up a bit, all right?

Here we go, there we go.

You're applying for a transfer?

- It's none of your business.

- You're my partner, this is my business.

You can't just leave.

- Listen, I'm just done,
I'm done with these streets.

That's why I wanna transfer,
see if I could get switched

to control room or Foot Locker.

- I don't think you can
get a direct transfer

to Foot Locker.

Anyway, you can't give up.

- I'm safer on the phones

than I am out here with my kiss of death.

- Death's part of the job.

It hurts, but you just
have to get up and move on.

- Yeah, my dad isn't moving on, is he?

[upbeat music]

- What are your hobbies and interests?

- Oh well, I like walking.

- Lovely.

- Reading.

- Yeah, great!

Breathing? [laughs]

Universal interests there, Loz.

- Yeah.
- Anything else?

- Music, do you like music?

- Never been into music
actually, no never got into that.

National anthem.

- You like that?
- Love that!

Rule Britannia. - Well, that's-

- Of course.
- That's music, I suppose.

- Classic.

- [Dispatcher] 358, Lima Charlie,

got a forties female, damaged ankle,

says it's probably nothing.

- Ow, oh!

I mean it's probably nothing
and I just can't move it.

- Is mummy gonna be okay?

- Of course she is.

- Yes, we're gonna have to look

at mummy's leg in the hospital.

- You know what that means.

You are gonna go for a ride in
an ambulance, you lucky girl.

Do you wanna grab some toys,

in case there's a bit of a wait?

Just ponies?

Aw, you got any transformers, mum?

- [Dispatcher] All units
we got a women in labour

on the Victoria line, please respond.

- 440 Alpha Romeo here.

Maybe it could be good for Maleek

to get over a loss of life with a birth?

- [Dispatcher] Yeah, nice idea.

But what if it gets messy?

- Yeah true, that'll break him.

- Guys, you're all coming
through very loud and clear.

- 448 Hotel Uniform here, we'll take it.

- [Dispatcher] You're half an hour away.

- Can do it in five.

- [Dispatcher] 451, you're
the closest we've got.

- I know you're scared,
but we have to take it.

You've fallen off the horse,

best thing is get back on.

- No that's rubbish, if you
fall off a horse you shouldn't

be getting back on no bludclart horse.

- We'll take it.

- [Dispatcher] Daryls, you got too,

might need you there if Maleek freaks out

or whatever and everyone dies.

- Still loud and clear, guys.

[upbeat music]

[both making horse sounds]

- You having fun, Jo?

- Uh, I'm not Jo, I am Twilight Sparkle.

- Thanks for staying.

- Are you guys married?

- Married? [laughs]

Me and him, are you mad?

No way.

- Why aren't you married?

- Sorry.

- Well, I was married once,
but then my wife, she died.

- Daddy died too.

- Don't worry she tells everyone that,

it's the best thing that
ever happened to her

expect it's not, it's kind
of a personal tragedy.

- I'm very sorry to hear that.

- Why did you think we were married?

What can you see?

What can you see?

[upbeat music]

- [Train Announcer] All
Trains, all change here.

The train is halting...

- Excuse me everybody, move!

- Paramedics coming through.
- Nothing to see here.

[Nicole screaming]

- Oh!

- What's your name?

- No, I'm not having
this baby on the tube,

that it not part of the birth plan!

- I think that train might have
left the station now, love.

- No! [wails]

- Wendy, Wendy, Wendy,
this doesn't feel right.

I told you we shouldn't
have taken the call,

what if I can't do it,
what if it goes wrong?

- You'll be fine.

- Wendy's gonna take charge
and deliver the baby,

yeah, because I'm better
at, you know, at the top,

doing the small talk.

Hey Nicole, did you know...

- Yeah?

- My fox saw my cousin,

my cousin saw a fox on the Underground.

- Right, I can't do this,

I'm supposed to be
having this baby at home.

- We're gonna get you through this.

Just you me and the doctors.

- Paramedic.

- It'll feel just like home.

- Okay.

- Come on, have a bang on that.

Yeah, you take some drugs.

- That's it, all lovely and calm now.

- [screaming] Who the hell is that?

- Sorry excuse me, we're in
the middle of something here.

- And I'm also in the middle of something.

- You wanna do my job?

You wanna do my job?

Take it. - No,

I don't wanna do your job.

- I don't tell you people
to stop arresting my people.

- What?

I'm a paramedic, not police!

Look, just get out, out, now Sir, out!

- God will deal with you.

- What the hell?

- Is this going to Brixton?

[Nicole screaming]

- Nevermind.
- Yeah, yeah.

[upbeat music]

[car engine revs]

- You're really good with kids.

- Calling me a nonce?

- I've never seen you like
that, you were great with her.

- You ever want that?

Kids?

Being a dad?

- Oh, once upon a time,

but no not now, that
ship's sailed, I think.

- Can't see yourself with
little Lawrences running about?

Teaching them to fire their first air g*n.

Taking them to the rugby
club to cheer their mum on.

- Well I think about it, kids
were always part of the plan,

I suppose.

- There you go then.

- But then so was Karen.

- Who?

Oh yeah, dead wife.

No 'cause you always say, oh Karen,

just inside you were
like, oh Karen, you know,

always like, all of a
sudden everything's fine

and then Karen. - Yeah.

- Loz has got a dead wife.

- [Dispatcher] 448, Hotel Uniform,

postman reported a woman in distress,

please attend and wait for police.

- Wake up and let us in.

They better be dead messing
us around like this.

- I really think you need to
start channelling your anger.

- Channelled, why are we waiting?

- For a forced entry, we need the police.

- I have had enough of waiting,
waiting is the Gary way,

slow, useless, probably impotent.

- Actually, all tip
top in that department.

I think my Trish sometimes
wishes I was less potent.

- f*ck the police!

[door cracking]

[Kareshma screaming]

- The heads out!

- Oh, your baby has a head!

- Final push Nicole, come on!

- Okay, there you go, there you go.

- Still just the head.

Big push Nicole.

- Come on, come on, yeah.

What?

Watch out.

What's going on?

- Shoulders won't come.

It's okay Nicole, I just
need to radio for advice.

- Just keep breathing,
just keep breathing.

- 358, Lima Charlie,

yeah we've got a problem,
the shoulders aren't coming,

they seem to be jammed.

I've never had this before

and I might be slightly spinning out

because I can't seem to stop
talking and please advise.

- Received okay, Wendy,

it sounds like you've
got a shoulder dystocia,

we need to get the baby
out of there pronto.

- Oh God.

- See, I told you I'm cursed.

We shouldn't have taken a call,

I should be in Foot Locker.

- Look, I'll take the lead,
we can do this, all right?

Whatever happens, this
is on me, all right?

- I'm not even going to point out

what you've done wrong there.

I think you've got a
fairly good idea anyway.

Now let's get you out.

- I'm fine, I'm fine!

- Kareshma, the only way we
get your foot out of there

with no major damage
is to let me take over.

- You are not saving me,
I'd rather bleed out.

- You'd rather die than I help you?

- Yes, what I need to do,

is if I could just lift that up to.

- Oh, she's gone. [upbeat music]

- Get the patient on their back.

[Nicole screaming]

- It's all right Nicole,
everything's gonna be all right.

- Knees to the chest.

- Lift her knees up, ever
so slowly, there you go.

- Now you're gonna want to apply a lot

of pressure on the abdomen.

- Three, two, one.

[Nicole screaming]

- Still not coming.

- Okay, you're gonna
need to go in manually

to get the shoulder out. - Carl!

- Carl!

- It's all right Nicole,
you're gonna be all right okay?

- Nothing to worry about.

Nice and calm, nice and calm.

- Any idea when we might be moving?

- Can anybody not involved

in delivering this baby just f*ck off!

Thank you!

- Let's get you some painkillers.

- I can do it myself.

[upbeat music]

- Straight in the vein, well done.

- There you go, come on, come on.

- I need you to do it.

- What?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't try it.

You think you're smart
pretending you can't do it

so I have to, I told you I'm done.

- I'm not pretending, I can't do it.

So I need you to step up because
a life's depending on this.

- No Wendy!

[Nicole groaning]

- Nearly there, so nearly there.

- Okay.

- Maleek's taking over.

- sh*t!

Maleek, you can do this.

- Disagree, Jo.

Hold on and I can be
there in twenty minutes.

- You can't walk.

Don't worry Maleek, you've got this.

- Thank you, who is this?

- Gary, you came to my


- We're parking up outside if you need us.

- This ain't about you Darrell, bruv.

- Maleek, you're one of a kind.

- We love you, Maleek.

- Radio silence everyone,

Maleek you need to get
the baby out of there now.

Work that shoulder out.

[Nicole groans]

- Oh, it's the last pringle in the tube.

- What?

- Pringle?

- It's the last pringle,

no one was able to get the last pringle

out of the bottom of the tube, except me.

It's a special skill, my dad taught me.

- Did he say Pringles?

- I heard pringle.

- It's all right.

[Nicole moaning]

- Hello?

How are you doing guys?

How are you doing guys, hello?

[baby crying]

- Oh!
- Yes, get in there!

[upbeat music]

- Here she comes.

- Hello, I'm your daddy.

♪ Stay up, pray up ♪

- I need a hug.

♪ Pray up, stay up ♪

♪ Pray up ♪

- You did amazing, you did brilliant.

♪ Pray up, stay up, pray up ♪

- Sod it, can't have
a birth and no cigars.

[Loz chuckles]

[sighs] Another family
starting on their journey.

- Magic.

- Seems a shame to write
that off from your life.

- I see what you're doing.

- Well, wouldn't she
have wanted that for you?

What's her name?

Karen.

A family?

- Probably, no, course she would.

- I forgot the bloody lighter.

- Do they do menthol?

- I don't think so Loz,
there's a sign there

that says it's not a shop
for absolute pussies.

[Loz chuckles]

- I was like, I'm getting
you out of there, my yute

then pow, pop that baby
out the pumpum real quick.

- That's not how I remember it.

- What you remember?

You was on bare drugs.

- We were wondering if you
had any name suggestions?

- Rah, there is one name,

someone really special to me.

Obi, it means knife or soup.

- Obi, any others?

- Well, you were on the Victoria line,

so what about Victoria?

- Focus on the road, Wendy!

- What about Wendy?

- No, shut up that's sh*t!

Come on, she didn't even do anything!

- No, we're gonna go with Wendy.

- [Wendy] Aw thanks!

[upbeat music]

- No, there is no Helen.

Have you got a photo?

- Yes, but my phones dead,
can I come in and charge it?

It needs to be an official
Apple charger though

because I was reading about

how dangers unofficial chargers are

when you use them with
official Apple products.

This phone's only two
months old, is that okay?

- Of course it's not.

Later, bellend.

- Thanks for today.

- Oh, what for carrying South
London's shittest paramedic?

- [chuckles] No for everything,
you know, you're right.

I need to start living,
give love a chance.

Even just some sh*t dates,

gotta put myself back out there.

- Mate!
- Yeah, on the scene.

- Mate!
- Oh yeah,

I couldn't have got
here without your help,

so thank you and I'll see you tomorrow.

- Oh f*ck!

Lawrence!

- Yeah?

- Let's go for a drink, me and you.

- Ah yeah, I'd like that.

- Great, great.

- I can't tonight though

'cause I've got a sort of date thing.

Remember Polly, the mum from this morning?

She gave me her number.

I was gonna bin it and then, well I didn't

because you got me thinking.

- I did?

- You did.

- I did, great, well, well done me.

- I can't remember the last
time I was nervous like this.

You know when you feel
like you might throw up.

- Yeah, yeah know it well.

- Is this crazy?

Am I rushing in?

Is it too soon?

- Well, no, you should go.

It'll be really good for you.

- You're right.

I'm gonna go for it, okay,
how do I look? [laughs]

See ya.

[car doors slams]

- Yo Wends, quickly, look,
thanks for having my back.

Seriously, there was a
moment back there before

I went all baby saving,
superhero, Super Saiyan God,

that I started to doubt myself

and I needed my hype
woman to bring me back.

- Happy to help.

- Also, thank you for what
you said about me to my dad.

Meant a lot, for a minute, then
he died, but thanks anyway.

Oh, I don't know what you're doing,

but I thought you might
wanna come back to mine

for a munch?

Well my mum's house, she
kind of wants to see you,

so you haven't really got a choice.

- Yeah, I'd like that.

- Then let's roll!

- Oh my god, mummy!

- Spencer?

- Why are you in London?

- I live here now, it's complicated.

- Wait, mummy?

Why is this grown man calling you mummy?

I thought he knew you were here.

- Well...

- Is it something we did?

We thought you'd been kidnapped.

- Hey, Wendy you took the
bin out and didn't come back?

You did a runner?

- Wendy?

I think you'll find she's called Helen.

She doesn't mind being called Hels though,

like as in Hells bells or Hell.

- All right Spencer, I
can explain everything,

I just need to get something
from the ambulance.

- Maleek, can you just
help me get something

from the ambulance?
- What do you mean help you?

Who is this grown man child?

You have got some
explaining to do, madame.

- Just drive.

- All right, don't rush.
- Quickly!

- Just, one minute.

[upbeat music]

Oh my god, you made that
couple call their baby

some dry old lady name and
it's not even your name!

- I don't want to talk about it.

- Are you even from Emmerdale?

- [Wendy] Nottingham!

Emmerdale's not even a real place!

- [Maleek] Don't get aggy with me.

I don't even know who you are!

What do I call you from henceforth?

- [Wendy] Henceforth you call me Wendy,

as you've always called me Wendy.

- [Maleek] No brother, nah
brother, don't know who you are.

Could be Benjamin for all I know.

[upbeat music]

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I loved you to the
hill when you were mine ♪

♪ But time has passed
since I saw you last ♪

♪ And that's just fine ♪

♪ I got someone else to ease
the pain that you left behind ♪

♪ But whatever you make
to say a man like me ♪

[soft music]